"... when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
-- When Harry met Sally

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
-- Carl Jung

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Rituals and a subspace collision (E)

Image courtesy of Ugari and the Museum of Femdom Art

I was just reminded a few minutes ago how close to the edge of subspace one remains within the extraordinary intensity of a D/s relationship. As rituals become more numerous and deeper in meaning, as behavior and moods are reinforced by small actions and playful banter, as experiences become more intense and have longer residual effects, the anticipation of availability keeps that wonderful D/s energy flowing, and inspiration for my Goddess is always around the corner, as is subspace for me.

Like usual, I woke up a bit before my Goddess this morning. As a rule, my Goddess requires me to clip my house leash to my ever-present locked collar if I get up without her in the morning, and she isn't awake to attach it herself. That is, if I'm not tied to the bed after spending the night in bondage by her side...

I wasn't up for very long when I felt the familiar tug on the leash that meant that my Goddess was awake and wanted me by her side. Once back in the bedroom, my Goddess told me she was ready for her morning coffee, so I made my way back to the kitchen and began our usual morning rituals. I prepared her coffee, brought it to her, sat on the floor at the side of the bed as my Goddess sat up against the headboard with a pillow behind her, lit her cigarette, handed it to her, and held up her ashtray within comfortable reach for her.

When we were done smoking, I came back on the bed next to my Goddss, where she likes me to be, and we watched a bit of television and caught up on text messages while she finished her coffee. Always availabe to my Goddess as playtoy, I felt her teasingly begin some CBT while I was finishing a last text message. She moved in close to me, and seeing how rapidly aroused I became from her actions, she rapidly brought up the intensity of the CBT many, many notches.

She moved on to some NT, very hard, very fast, especially painful since I was still quite sore from the evening before last. I couldn't keep myself from a loud exhale/moan as my breathing sped up rapidly. With this reaction, I could literally feel a wave of dominant energy emanate from her as loudly as if a lion had suddenly roared right next to me. In a matter of seconds, the sharp and intense hurt combined with this hunger and energy I could tangibly feel from her dropped me into subspace. But it wasn't the usual slipping and easing into lightness of being of subspace. This was a collision with a wall. I was walking down a calm beach when a 30-ft wave of subspace suddenly, almost out of nowhere, came crashing down on me... And I laid there, completely drenched...

My Goddess started alternating between NT and CBT like a cat playing with a string ball, pushing it forward, pulling it back, moving up for some NT, moving down for some CBT. I was intoxicated from the enjoyment my Goddess was having with her playtoy, and the hurt she was causing me.

As she started to ease off and move on to some gentle caressing, I just laid there, waves of subspace still washing over me, as my mind floated and wandered in the sea of the power of my Goddess. And then she sent me to prepare her another coffee...

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