"... when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
-- When Harry met Sally

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
-- Carl Jung

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Predicament in service (E)

Artwork courtesy of Severin, via Lunar Black

A weekend morning a little while ago...

After our morning ritual of me serving My Goddess her coffee, lighting her cigarette, and holding the ashtray for her while remaining on the floor at her feet, she comfortably set up in the living room to catch up on some work matters on her laptop.

I moved on to some domestic duties while she was busy. At that very moment, I was reminded of the recent outstanding post by Lady Grey on The Appeal of Disinterest. The priority for me that morning was to catch up on washing clothes. However, complicating things for me was the fact that I had the 50' house leash attached to my locking leather collar, to remain easily accessible to her, and I was still in light bondage from the night before. My wrists were bound and locked by leather cuffs, and so were my ankles.

It was difficult enough to provide my Goddess with spill-free coffee service while in bondage, but I discovered a whole new level of required dedication and patience when it came to doing the laundry.

With my hands cuffed and clipped with a 3" double-ended clip, there was no way I could hold the clothes hamper, so I had to take up just a few pieces of clothes in my hands at a time. Since I could not grab a whole lot of clothes at once, that required me to do several trips between the laundry room and the bedroom, moving slowly and with many little steps because of my cuffed ankles.

While my Goddess was focused on her work, she did look up occasionally to enjoy my struggle, smiling that beautiful, evil little smile of satisfaction that only comes from seeing me in a predicament at her hands.

It wasn't long before I felt my ankle cuffs chaff the skin under them, and soon I would be feeling the turn of the cuffs on every little step. A little later, the wrist cuffs also began to take their toll, as I struggled against them to take up more clothes at a time in order to minimize the number of painful trips between rooms.

It was great relief when I got the first wash going, and I could move to other less movement-intensive duties. Later on, transferring clothes from the washer to the dryer wasn't so bad despite limited hand range, but it also meant that I was going to begin another set of trips between the bedroom and the laundry room...

Some submissives think that real dedication to their mistress is being able to handle the punishment she dishes out. Well, I have a new test of dedication for you all: cuffed hands... 3" clip... bath towel... folding it neatly... placing it over over clean bath towels but under the clean hand towels without messing up the stack...

OMG... folding clothes and the multiple trips in the clipped ankle cuffs over to the right drawers and shelves was a major exercise in frustration and patience. But I since loved doing it because it was in service to my Goddess, because she enjoys having me do housework for her, and because of the joy she gets seeing me struggle in bondage.

I never mentioned a word of how challenging that was to my Goddess, and reading this post will be the first time she finds out. I hate whining immensely in others, and even more so from me, so I certainly wasn't about to do any complaining. But now that my Goddess knows, I expect that it will probably only encourage her to do it more often.

P.S.: My Goddess had such a hearty laugh reading the post this morning. The visual of me trying to fold towels with my hands bound, and placing them without knocking over stacks of other towels, just so tickled her funny bone. She regrets not seeing it, and she told me we'll definitely have to do this again just so she can watch!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Last night's markings (E)

Selena's Boy


[small padlock]

Locked for Life

The front right chest had, in the same pink Sharpie:

Selena's Toy

Beautiful Boy

[Small heart shape]

A little smudged after a night's sleep but the one on my back still comes out clearly. I'll be wearing these until they wash/fade out later this week...

I love belonging to my Goddess!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Pillow note (E)

"Drow Love" by Darkest Drow, via Lunar Black

"BTW, I expect a collar on you every night when you get home - MINE! Not the usual one, but you have others to choose from".
~ Handwritten note left on my pillow when I came back home the day that my Goddess left for her business trip.

Every day when I came back home, after placing a leather collar around my neck, I took a picture and texted it to her, showing her that it was on, that I was home, and the time I had returned. I kept it on until I had to shower for work the next morning.

The reference to "the usual one" is about the traditional locking leather collar that only my Goddess can place around my neck, lock, and unlock. I am forbidden to handle that one in any way except offering to her.

The reference to "Mine!" is about who I belong to.

Upon her return from her trip, my Goddess found me wearing an alternate collar, which pleased her. But she rapidly had me fetch the locking leather one, and changed out the collars. The click of the lock on the usual collar was so immensely satisfying for both of us.

The joys of control at a distance! Such simple gestures, such deep symbolism. She is just the hottest!

Monday, March 14, 2011

Reminder (E)

An Abuse of Power, by Caregan, via Lunar Black

I am loved,
& collared.


...Pink Sharpie marking my Goddess made on my chest last night... between rounds of heavy nipple play... taking advantage of the fact I was bound in wrist and ankle cuffs.

A reminder for me to see every day (until it washes off in 3-4 days) while she's away on a business trip this week...

Saturday, March 12, 2011

The leash, and other sacred rituals (E)

The Red Boots, by Silver Jane, via Lunar Black

In these difficult economic times for us, I haven't given my Goddess a lot of time or many opportunities for her to express her domination. She has been so patient with my very long days and weeks at work, so generous with her unconditional support, and so wonderful in making the most of our few moments together.

That said, there are a number of our sacred rituals that are part of our lives that are as constant as the rising and setting cycle of the sun every day, and I am so grateful to my Goddess for keeping these going, and for her continued enjoyment of them, always maintaining a certain level of positive tension in our D/s dynamics.

Recently, my Goddess asked me to re-install the long "house leash" to the bed. The first thing I did the next morning was to clip one end of the 50' leash to the foot of the bed, and clip the other end to my locked leather collar. Upon her waking up later that morning, she found the leash, and pulled me in to her, wherever I was in our home, so I could begin my day of service to her.

Speaking of the locked leather collar, it is still one of my most cherished pleasures that every night, upon my return home, as surely as the tides move in and out twice a day, the D/s dynamics of our relationship are celebrated as I kneel before my Goddess, offering her my locking leather collar. She places it around my neck and locks it in place, where it remains until I need to shower before leaving for work the next morning. It means so much to me that she feels as strongly about this symbolic display domination and submission, owning and belonging, as I do.

When I'm still home at the time my Goddess wakes up in the morning, I have unerringly taken the opportunity for our favorite morning ritual. I'll prepare her one of her favorite coffees, bring it to her side, kneel before her as I lay it on the table, light her cigarette, and hold the ashtray up for her. If we still have a little time, I will take take each of her feet, and cover them with hundreds of little tender kisses.

When time allows in the morning, I make an additional offering of presenting myself to her at wake-up time with nipple clamps or nipples rings on, wearing little else than those, my locked leather collar, my ever-present eternity collar, and some underwear or sleeping shorts. She delights in my willingness to suffer for her, and she can never resist the temptation of reaching out to tug on the nipple clamps or rings to tease me and elicit gentle moans for me that she so enjoys.

I make it a point of doing some domestic duties such as cleaning, washing dishes, and straightening out the house before she gets up, although it is never quite enough, and I must schedule my time better to keep our humble castle in better shape for my Goddess.

Often in the evening, in addition to the locking leather collar, my Goddess will enjoy placing locking leather wrist cuffs and ankle cuffs on me, whether there is any play to follow or not. It's just an ownership thing, and she knows how much I love to honor by having many tangible, symbolic signs of my belonging to her.

While the locking leather items may not go on if we are having friends or family over, I do try to fulfill my Goddess' expectations of being the serving host, and this subtle part of our relationship dynamics, is especially exciting as it goes relatively unnoticed by our visitors.

Of course, variations are numerous, and play may or may not follow our rituals. However, these rituals are the foundations that keep our love and D/s dynamics strong, constant, unshakable, and full of positive tension that keep us both in a state of always wanting to get back to each other, always wanting to be with each other, and always wanting to do more with/for each other.

Instead of being restraining, our rituals are means for liberation, and they reinforce our love and commitment to each other. To paraphrase Amy Gregory from an article I read a long time ago, rituals resonate within us, they comfort us, and what they communicate to us is even more important than actually performing them. Rituals may be intimidating to some, but they don't have to be big events. They are about connecting, they about celebration, and I think that my Goddess and I will continue to find solace in them.

Image courtesy of Miss and pet