The Goddess wants to play - Part 2 (E)

Courtesy of Who's Sorry Now? via Lunar Black - Desire for Submission and More...

Hmmm… Where was I in our delightful scene… More than time for me to finish what was started a while back.

Ah, yes… The hogtie. Arms behind my back, restrained by metal handcuffs. Ankles bound together by several loops of rope. Feet near my backside, legs bound there by a short length of rope anchored to the chain of the handcuffs. I feel the metal of the cuffs digging sharply into my wrists. The pressure of the rope around my ankles is also noticeable, but much more forgiving. I feel the tension of the bondage in my legs, my back, and my arms, and yet, my body and mind let go and relax. I give in to the hogtie, and surrender to my Goddess, who is towering over me, enjoying immensely my helplessness as she plays bondage artist.

The hogtie is one of my favorite bondage positions, despite not being all that comfortable. Somehow, the dichotomy of the tension of the position itself and the deeper state of subspace it carries me into, forcing me into surrender and letting go of all, work together in intensifying the emotions and reactions of the power exchange between us. One of those things that definitely, as Paltego from Femdom Resources would say, pushes my buttons.

Goddess Selena gives each one of the ties a little tug. She teases me that everything is nice and tight.

“You’re not going anywhere…” She says playfully, pulling on my hair, and then running her nails down my back.

Courtesy of The English Mansion

She leaves me for a minute. In the depths of subspace, I have flashbacks of other moments left alone hogtied. Our first apartment… hogtied and isolated in our bondage closet while she enjoyed a favorite TV show. Our last house, hogtied on the bed while she takes a shower and gets ready to go out.

I drift back from my reverie when I feel Goddess Selena’s weight next to me on the bed. A sharp edge comes across in a short curve near the top of my shoulder blade. Between the sharp etchings and the focused vibes I get from my Goddess, I make out through the veil of subspace that she is drawing expressions of ownership and love with Sharpie markers on my back. Markings are always swoon-inducing for days afterwards…

Goddess Selena leaves me again for a few instants, and returns with her iPhone. She takes a few pictures of the markings and teases me about them. She puts the phone down on the night table, and releases the tie between the handcuffs and the rope keeping my ankles bound. She rolls me over on my back and arms, and helps me move up into a 45-degree sitting position against the headboard, with a few pillows behind me.

I’m out of the hogtie, but with my wrists and ankles still bound, and the blindfold still on, I can tell she’s not quite done. I hear a what seems to be a plastic bag with some soft-sounding items in it drop next to me. I feel Goddess Selena pinch some skin underneath my penis, and then, some light pressure that doesn’t dissipate despite the fact that she is no longer touching me. Then I feel her pinch a spot on my scrotum, and she lets go of it, leaving once more a light pressure point that remains. She comes back to the penis, and places a third clothespin. And back to the scrotum, for a fourth clothespin. She continues, alternating between the two areas, finding new spots to place a mix of wooden and plastic clothespin, each one more sensitive than the last. I think I can tell the difference between the clothespins, as I vaguely remember the wooden ones being a little stronger but creating more of a dull pain, while the plastic ones are a little sharper, if not quite as strong. Each a source of pain in their own way.

The clothespin scene gets even a little more intense on its own, as I slowly get an erection. The skin of my penis and the upper part of my scrotum get more taunt, making the feeling of the clothespins ever-sharper. Several minutes later, including I don’t know, maybe 12 or 15 or 18 clothespins, Goddess Selena is slapping at some of them, and tugging at others. I arch my back as waves of warmth and pain are radiating from my groin area. Then a singular jolt of pain runs through my entire body as my Goddess removes one of the clothespins and the blood flows back to the skin that had been constricted. And then she removes another to the same effect. I strain against the bondage and I can feel her dominance envelop me as she sadistically proceeds to remove each of the clothespins and enjoys my reactions to her play.

After the last one, I fall back limp against the bed as after-waves of pain still resonate from my groin. For good measure, Goddess Selena grabs my penis and scrotum in her hands and pulls then in different directions, and her hands feel cold against the pain and the warmth of the blood still rushing back to the deprived spots.

She runs her nails along my thighs, and unexpectedly, gives me a deep, passionate, erotically dominant, I-fucking-own-you kiss on the lips. After a surprised pause, I desperately try to answer back with my lips but she is already gone.

Courtesy of Divine Bitches via Mistress Lilyana

Goddess Selena spends a little while caressing me, holding me, occasionally kissing me, and asking how I am. She eventually removes the blindfold. A little more caressing, and she releases me from the bondage that had kept me at her mercy. Once she is satisfied I am gradually gathering my wits while slowly climbing out of subspace, we kiss again, deeply, passionately.

She takes my hand and gently drags me to our screen enclosed back patio, after we got partially dressed. It’s nearly midnight, and a light breeze is giving the air just a hint of coolness. My Goddess is in the mood for an after-scene cigarette. After a few drags, she grabs the middle ring of my locked leather collar, pulls me down to her a bit, and she gives me a smoky kiss. More (big) buttons pushed. A few more times she repeated the gesture, giving our scene a still fetishy cool-down.

From Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress (no longer active)

We went back inside, and soon lay down for sleep. Just before we dozed off, she told me to lie at an angle to her. She then lies down at a nearly perpendicular angle to me, and from her sleeping-on-her-back position, she places one leg over the back of my thighs and the other over my lower back (I was on my belly). Then she pulls me tight under her knees. And we fell asleep with my Goddess dominantly making herself comfortable using me as a leg/knee rest for the night.

Courtesy of Fluffy Art

Recent purchases - 1 (E)

New Eternity Collar and new locking leather collar

There are few things in life that are as exciting for kink-oriented folks as getting new toys to play with and new items to fetish-obsess over. We might have had a long blogging hiatus these past few months, but we were definitely adding to our collection during that time.

My ever-present Eternity Collar, locked around my neck for all of the past two-and-a-half years, except for maybe a total of 72 hours (airports and occasional high-security checks, and out-patient surgery), was starting to show some wear.

Old Eternity Collar (and a pretty rigid 2" locking leather collar)

Not structurally, of course… Stainless steel is pretty sturdy against human flesh.  But the black coating finish on my Phantom Eternity Collar (seen above), started chipping against the daily impact of locks, rings, and leashes.  While neither one us could be disappointed since we had put the metal collar through a lot in well over two years, the increasingly numerous aesthetic flaws eventually got Goddess Selena in the mood for a new Eternity Collar, and she wanted to get me one that might grow old a little more gracefully.  So back to the Eternity Collars site we went, and she chose a collar from their Vivid line. Beyond the frosted metallic effect, which is very cool, this collar looked like it could take some slight dings over time and not show them so readily.

New "Vivid" Eternity Collar

Goddess Selena seems quite pleased with the purchase, and the change of scenery.  And now with the new Eternity Collar and the old one, I guess this would give her the option, when she feels especially controlling, to temporarily lock on the older one too on certain outings when a locking leather collar might not be appropriate.  I'm sure she would enjoy the control of knowing the heavier and more restrictive feel around my neck, and that she would get excited hearing the occasional ringing sounds of the two steel collars moving against each other.  She so loves hearing metal pieces cling together when I’m in bondage...

New locking leather collar (back view of the same collar shown in the first picture of this post)

Speaking of wear… when used every day, even the best leather collars will start to show their age in time.  We have found out that with daily use in the evening and overnight, and nearly around the clock on weekends and on days off, a great quality leather collar will last nearly two years before stretch or texture or material or skin issues come up.  So it was time for a new locking leather collar too.  We came across an absolutely splendid collar on an eBay store called Goth Fashions, and it had all the elements that Goddess Selena likes to see in my collars.  It has three layers of leather, including a finished inner layer, three large D-rings, and of course, it locks.  This is by far the heaviest collar I have ever worn on a regular basis, and at 2.5", also the widest.  And it has been an absolute D/s thrill.  Where most of my previous collars were subtle reminders of my submission to Goddess Selena (unless she was tugging on them or an attached leash), this collar is a blunt and powerful presence reflecting my D/s commitment to Goddess Selena.  It is heftily and dominantly there every minute of that it's locked on me, a very tangible physical extension of Goddess Selena’s control.  I feel it all the time, and that is totally intoxicating, in a D/s kind of way.

And just to close out this post, one of my favorite pictures of Goddess Selena pulling me in (older locking leather collar).

It's the little things... (E)

Image courtesy of S.I.N. via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

The little things in a relationship really do matter. There's a quote that goes something like "It's not what you say, it's not even what you do, it's how you make people feel that matters." And that's just so true in the relationship Goddess Selena and I share.

The feeling of warmth, affection, love, caring, positive co-dependence, loyalty, trust, and D/s permeates every aspect of our relationship, and every thought that I have involving my beloved Goddess. The nature of this blog being what it is, I won't bore you all with mushy stuff, but I thought I would take a few minutes to share a few of the little things (D/s oriented) that in their own way represent and define our dynamics.

I am presently away on a 4-day 3-night road trip. Like usual, Goddess Selena expects updates of what I'm doing and where I am at all times. She can also check on my location, providing her an idea of what I'm likely to be doing, through the tracking service that locks on to the position of my smart phone. It makes me feel special that she cares that much about what I'm up to, and that she wants to stay in touch throughout the day. Of course, the D/s control and ownership thing is really hot too. Done within a loving and trusting relationship, it makes me feel warm, wanted, cared for, and loved. And submissive and owned.

Image courtesy of the always stunning Mistress Eleise de Lacy via Femdom-SM

The latter is reinforced by the fact that my Goddess still expects me to wear a collar, in addition to my permanent Eternity Collar, at all times I'm in my hotel room. As a reminder. And I must text or call her for permission to remove it if/when I need to leave the room. The asking for permission and the granting of the permission at a distance of several hundred miles is a wonderfully powerful exercise of her dominance over me, and a demonstration of my submission to her. Our relationship is always switched on, even when far away from each other, and our D/s dynamics are always in play.

Our lives are full of rituals that are made up of little things. "Coffee and Clamps!" on mornings when neither one of us works, or will be going into work later. I'll be sitting at her feet regularly throughout the day (and at all times she smokes... I'm required to hold her ashtray from that position) when we stay at home. I'll be in bondage close to her, and often serve as furniture, when we have quiet time watching television for a stretch. I'll be in a submissive and controlled position when we go to bed, with or without bondage. I'll present myself for her to place and lock a leather collar around my neck any time I return home, and submissively ask her to remove it before I leave.

The expectations of my domestic duties. The kissing her feet daily. The caning/paddling/flogging I receive after we play competitive board games, one of our favorite hobbies; even when I win, she has a reason to have a go at my backside, and if I lose, well, she'll definitely be having fun. The painting of her toe nails on the weekends. The dynamics of our decision-making... she wants to know what I think and what I suggest we do, but the final decision is always hers alone to make.

Artwork courtesy of Fluffy Bunny Domination

And then there's the wonderfully random stuff. Goddess Selena smoking provocatively when we're on our traditional Skype call each night I'm on a road trip. Teasing dominant texts out-of-the-blue. Nipple torture... all of a sudden... just because. Ink or Sharpie markings of D/s and/or love on my back when the mood strikes her.

Don't get me wrong... The big "official" scenes are fantastic. Protracted scenes with any combination of caning, paddling, flogging, hot wax, clothespins, strap-on play, heavy nipple torture, sharp objects, significant bondage and restraint, breath play, sexual servitude, and more, always take me into a state of deep subspace that I yearn to return to time and time again. Unless I'm still physically sore from the previous scene, I can never get enough of them. I think about these scenes often. Maybe even too much.

Image courtesy of Cybill Troy via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

But it's the continual warmth and glow of the little things that stays with me at all times, literally every moment of the day and night. They are the constant reminder of the beauty of our relationship, of the continual psychic touch of the other, of the strong yet flexible ties that bind us, and of the feelings that really matter.

Artwork courtesy of Fluffy Bunny Domination

Power exchange and control: Leashed overnight (E)

Image courtesy of leplumeau via Anais and le Ninja diaries

After an unexpected day off from work that included our beloved "Coffee & Clamps!" morning ritual, a full day of leash play, painting my Goddess’ toe nails (a dark, sparkly purple), much foot kissing, lots of time spent at her feet (with or without holding an ashtray for her), and preparing her meals and getting her beverages and other assorted domestic duties, Goddess Selena decided that I should be kept locked to the leash overnight.

Image courtesy of Devotion, passion and sensuality via An Addiction to Submission

I had a small wave off subspace wash over me as she looked into my eyes with a sense of power and satisfaction. I always get that thrilling wave of subspace come over me whenever my Goddess expresses her dominance overtly, however big or small the gesture or the action. It may be a simple of a snap of her fingers and her pointing to her feet, indicating that she wants to smoke and I have to assume a position holding the ashtray while at her feet, or sending me out of the house for errands ignoring the fact that my locked leather collar is still on. In this particular instance, leaving my leash locked to my locked leather collar overnight, the power exchange elements were symbolically ownership and control, and the physical manifestations would be that she would know exactly where I was going to be overnight and in the morning until she woke up. I was not going to venture out of the house at any time, I was going to be relatively nearby at all times (this leash is a 50’ x 1/8” steel cable), and she was going to reel me in to her to tell me that she was up and ready for “Coffee & Clamps!” in the morning.

Image courtesy of Young Goddess (now closed) via Femdom Resource

As I drifted into sleep, laying on my front and positioned diagonally across the bed so that Goddess Selena could put up one leg over my legs and her other leg over my lower back, her favorite sleeping position and a very controlling one at that, I had mental flashbacks to two great articles or posts I had read recently. The first thing that popped into my head as I closed my eyes and the subspace subsided, was just a fragment: “…men are fetishists, and women are into power exchange.” This quote comes from a splendidly thoughtful article Why Do Men Crave Bondage? written by Dalton Ott. Of course, the quote I extracted does not do justice to the piece, and it is not even the central focus of the piece. But it definitely captured some essence of the moment, and indeed the whole preceding day.

On a side note, I am quite sure I will address and comment on Mr. Ott’s powerful article in a post in the future. In the meantime, if you take a look at it, be forewarned that the stunningly beautiful photographs of extreme bondage will not be to everyone’s taste, and may be too much for some.

The other thought fragments that popped into my mind as I relaxed into the helplessness of both the sleeping position and the limited range of movement I would have in the morning (and likely through most of the next day) were from a blog post by one of my favorite bloggers, Aarkey. In a recent post, Identity - Part 1 - Myers-Briggs, Aarkey commented that “I learned to find that powerless pretty hot too…” He later continued: “A set of established rules, rituals, protocols - it helps manage expectations, and for me, that makes life much clearer and easier.”

Image courtesy of Alles was ich liebe via  An Addiction to Submission

Now, as I write these words before returning to my domestic duties while Goddess Selena is still sleeping, I have that warm, subspacey feeling of my Goddess’ control as the leash is limiting my movement options, and making the presence of my locked leather collar even more evident than usual. I have visual and emotional flashbacks of those little gestures and actions mentioned previously (and for some reason, right now, of Goddess Selena grabbing my hair and pulling my head back to press her lips against mine and shotgunning smoke into my mouth and lungs). And I have the anticipation of another wonderful day of domination and submission, but also a day full of love and caring, and humor, and wit, and just generally sharing life with my soul mate.

Image courtesy of he stoops to worship via An Addiction to Submission

Retiring a collar (E)

With much sadness, my Goddess and I retired the locking heavy rubber collar this past week. Purchased six months ago, it had seen fairly heavy use as one of two collars in rotation since that time. The “clanky” collar, as she called it, had become her choice about half the time as she loved the noise it made from the four large double-rings that rang against each other and against my permanently affixed Eternity Collar with any movement I made.

I rapidly became quite fond of it as well as the 2” width and its rigidity made it feel more severe than the leather collars. More severe meant that I definitely felt my Goddess’ dominance and control more explicitly and forcefully when she chose this collar over the others, and it created in me a deeper sense of submission and being owned.

We were forced to retire it as the slit that was used for the locking buckle split completely open, making it unusable. Using the next slit would make it far too tight to be used safely.

The advantage of heavy rubber collars over leather ones is that they are very low maintenance and exceedingly easy to clean and keep fresh, important considerations for us as my Goddess keeps a collar locked on me roughly 10-12 hours a day on work days, and around the clock on non-work days. Exceptions to the latter are only afforded for outings in public and working out.

Their disadvantages are that they can pick-up a bit of a smell if not cleaned on a regular basis, they wear out more readily, and they can/eventually break. Good quality leather collars will stretch out with wear, and they do require upkeep, but they will last for a very long time (years) with a bit of care.

We are certainly not disappointed with having purchased it earlier this year. And I would not be surprised to find another one in our lives in the future. For now, the locking purple leather collar will become the daily mainstay, with an older all-black locking leather collar serving as an occasional alternate, while my Goddess decides on our next collar purchase.

Rituals and symbolic gestures (E)

Image courtesy of Cuckold Chronicle via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

I always find it fascinating to observe, and reflect on, the evolution of rituals and symbolic gestures in D/s relationships. From actions that begin rather innocently and become daily or weekly protocols, to things are given a significant amount of forethought and implemented as definitive symbols of domination or submission, D/s rituals and symbolism have inevitably evolve over time.

I look back with much pride and delight on what has come to be since Goddess Selena collared me several years back. The deepening of our relationship and interactions has been reflected in the D/s rituals, protocols, and habits we have developed. These actions, gestures, behaviors, and overall D/s dynamics have also helped keep us grounded through the vagaries of everyday life, in addition to providing us very enjoyable time with each other.

Image courtesy of Lunar Black - Desire for Submission and More...

So here is a list that I would describe as a dozen of our most significant rituals and symbols of Goddess Selena’s dominance over me, and my submission to her.

1- I wear an Eternity Collar 24/7/365. Goddess Selena retains the special tools for it (which she tells me she lost), and for all practical purposes, it can only be eventually removed if/when she decides it.

2- Goddess Selena places and locks an additional collar around my neck whenever I come back home from the outside world, and it does not come off until I must leave her presence again.

3- On any morning that we have time for it, "Coffee & Clamps!" is how we start the day. I must prepare and serve Goddess Selena her coffee (and refills), and I must be wearing nipple clamps until she is done with her morning coffee. I must also be leashed so she can keep me close by while she enjoys her coffee(s) and cigarette(s). The “Coffee & Clamps!” ritual usually does not end until her third coffee of the morning, and the nipple clamps only come off then.

4- I must be on the floor at Goddess Selena’s feet, holding an ashtray, any time she wants to smoke.

5- Any time I greet my Goddess (i.e.: when she wakes up in the morning or when I return from work), I must kneel before her and kiss each of her feet in an adoring manner.

6- On any morning that there is an expectation that Goddess Selena will sleep in later than me (which is the case most of the time), I must wear have the long house leash locked to my leather or rubber collar (whichever one she locked around my neck previously) so she knows I remain in the house. She will tug on the leash when she wakes up, pulling me in to her and letting me know she is ready for our “Coffee & Clamps!” ritual.

7- At her whim, when we have time to watch some of her favorite TV shows together, she will place me in bondage and use me as furniture for the duration of the evening. Usually, I while remain in bondage through the night’s sleep.

8- When at home, I must fetch, prepare, and serve all drinks, meals, and snacks for Goddess Selena. I remain at her beck and call for anything else she may require at any time.

9- Once Goddess Selena has locked a second collar (in additional to the permanent Eternity Collar) around my neck upon my return from the outside world, she keeps the keys, and only she can unlock/remove the collar, at the time of her choosing. This means that if the weather is right, I may have to run errands outside the house for her with the locked collar hidden under appropriate clothing.

10- The location of my Smart Phone can be tracked by Goddess Selena through a provider-based GPS system at all times. She can verify and keep track of my location at any time, and if necessary, I must account for my movements to her at any time if I did not warn her beforehand.

11- I must submit to Goddess Selena’s sexual and dominant needs at any time.

12- My own sexual/submissive needs are only met at the convenience and whims of Goddess Selena. This includes not ever providing myself pleasure until/unless she tells me.

Image courtesy of My Private F.

I will be interesting to see how these rituals, protocols, and habits will change over time. This post is as much an opportunity for benchmarking and looking back in the future as it is about thinking about where we are at the present time. Perhaps in a year, there will be another post, starting off with a link to this entry, talking about what else we have added to what we do each day as part of our D/s relational dynamics.

Image found on Thy Shall Love Thy Mistress, original source is uncertain.

Public display of ownership (E)

Image courtesy of Slaves of the Goddess

Yesterday, my Goddess took the opportunity to display her ownership of me in public in a subtle manner that left me a bit submissively tingly all over, as much over how she did it as the unexpected way in which it came up.

One of the side effects of wearing my Eternity Collar since my Goddess first locked it around my neck over one-and-a-half year ago is that it sets off theft detection devices in many stores. No, don’t worry about seeing me behind bars anytime soon. I set off the detection devices walking into, as well as walking out of, the stores. On the way into stores, it normally elicits a look of surprise on the faces of staff at registers or near entrances, to which I normally respond by raising my hands and shoulders up in the air and providing an expression of “I have no idea why it did that.” On the way out of stores, the alarm going off usually means a trip back to the register for staff to re-swipe some of my purchases, occasionally emptying my pockets, and trying my best to look innocent. Often this is followed by a piece of advice from staff that most likely I’m wearing a piece of clothing that still has its original anti-theft tag.

Yesterday, after a wonderful romantic lunch together, My Goddess and I spent the afternoon doing some shopping in a nearby town. One of our stops was a favorite large bookstore, where we spent about 45 minutes. Yes, I set-off the alarm on the way in. When that happened, I looked in the direction of the young woman at one of the sales registers (she was the only staff in that area), threw up my hands, and we both shared a quizzical look on our faces at a distance of about 7-8 yards. My Goddess, who had gone in a few steps ahead of me, which she always does when we expect I’ll trigger the alarm, looked at me with her usual knowing smile, and we went about our business.

Once we were done with our browsing, and we had finalized our selection, we headed off to pay. The same young woman that we had made eye contact with at the entrance was manning the only sales register available. She was perhaps early to mid-20s in age. She was very pretty, wore glasses, had multiple facial and ear piercings, and had a significant number of tattoos. My Goddess and I exchanged pleasantries with her as she processed the purchases and payment. And then, as we were about to leave, to prepare for the inevitable, I reminded her that I was the one who set-off the alarm on my way in, so I was likely to trigger it again on my way out. I apologized in advance, and told her that I seemed to have that effect on their theft detection device. The young woman said that sometimes such things happened, and provided me with the theory of the still hidden clothing tag that had never been removed. My Goddess chimed in that I did set-off alarms in many stores, and that I was kind of special that way.

After a round of laughs to this last comment, unexpectedly, my Goddess reached under the t-shirt and polo shirt I was wearing, exposed my Eternity Collar to the young woman by holding it about half-way up my neck, and said:

“His collar is probably what’s causing it.”

The young woman paused, looked with fascination at my heavy metal collar, and smiled.

Image courtesy of An Addiction to Submission, with the original source possibly being Femdom Empire

The three of us said goodbye, and my Goddess and I headed for the exit. I triggered the alarm as expected, we both turned to the young woman at the register, all three of us smiled, and my Goddess and I finally left the store.

As we walked away, I teased my Goddess on her boldness. She replied, with a big smile, that she just felt like it. I could tell she enjoyed showing-off. Showing off her possession… her pet… her toy… her control… her power…

While neither one of us could be sure the young woman we exchanged with would recognize the Eternity Collar, or know its significance, this very random moment provided both of us with a bit of an exhibitionist thrill. And who knows… maybe it left the young woman at the bookstore with a lasting, knowing smile too.

In a fortuitous bit of coincidence, this noteworthy event happened yesterday just as this is the first weekend in over a month that I have a few moments for a blog post. The timing could not have been more perfect.

Photo of Mistress Mischelle courtesy of Love Thy Mistress

Afternoon's reverie: bondage, bathing feet, and more (E)

Image courtesy of Fettish via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

My Goddess was having a much-needed afternoon nap, and I was busy catching up on some domestic duties around the house. I was wearing the heavy locking rubber collar, and it was locked to a very long steel cable leash that my Goddess could tug on if she woke up and needed anything from me. We had enjoyed our “Coffee & Clamps!” ritual that morning, traditional on non-work days, and I could still feel soreness in my nipples hours later. As I slaved at the kitchen sink hand-washing dishes (pun intended), I had a moment of daydreaming that took me back to the previous weekend, to a delightful scene my Goddess created for the two of us.

In the early evening, Goddess had made good with the bondage threats from earlier that day, requesting the locking leather wrist and ankle cuffs. Upon me bringing them to her, she made quick work of wrapping them around my limbs and locking them in place. She used 3” clips to bind my wrists together, and then did the same to my ankles. In addition to whatever else was to take place, she was going to be entertained by watching me struggle through the rest of the evening fetching her things awkwardly with my hands and ankles bound, and making lots of jingly noises as the now five locks (I had been wearing the locking rubber collar all day) would swing and chime on my every movement.

Shortly after locking me in the restraints, my Goddess demanded a foot bath and some balm for her feet right then and there. At the time, I was still sitting on the floor at her feet in the living room. I got up, and made my way to the bathroom with quick, short jingly steps to retrieve some eucalyptus-spearmint liquid bath soap, her favorite foot balm, a face cloth, and a towel. In a second stage, I improvised a bowl to serve as a foot bath, and I filled it with warm water.

Back sitting on the floor before her, I took each foot and gently scrubbed it with the washcloth. The unmistakable smell of the eucalyptus infused water gave this tender scene a very sensual tone. The combination of one of our favorite smells permeating the air, me on the floor washing, rinsing, and drying my Goddess’ feet while she was sitting comfortably higher up, and the bondage restraints, all created powerful mental images and memories that the afternoon’s reverie gravitated back to.

Image courtesy of Written in the Water via Geek Domme

After drying her feet, I massaged and kneaded them with a plum-based balm. Once the lotion was fully absorbed into her feet, she told me to get her some light socks, and after the jingly trip to the bedroom and back, I placed them over her feet.

Seemingly satisfied with my care of her feet, Goddess Selena reminded me that I still owed her 71 strokes from a recent loss I suffered at her hands in our version of kinky-Scrabble. So she ordered me on all-fours, grabbed a recently purchased leather-slapper, and went to work on my back side. For 71 strokes. Yes, I counted them. She always expects me to count them, and she checks with me every 10 strokes or so.

Image courtesy of Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress via Geek Domme

While I got the feeling she enjoyed the paddling she dished out, she was somewhat disappointed that the leather slapper failed to leave impressions of the little stars that are cut-out of one side of it. Perhaps she’ll need more strokes the next time, or go harder, or we’ll have to get a wooden paddle with those shapes cut-out, in order for her to get the joy of little stars marking my backside.

I spent the rest of the evening at my Goddess’ feet, all cuffs still locked on and clipped, getting up occasionally when she needed a drink or a snack while we watched television, and holding the ashtray when she needed to smoke. Of course, whenever I fetched anything for her, she enjoyed my awkward struggle holding things with my wrists bound, my short-quick steps with my ankles bound, and all the noise my many swinging locks produced.

When it came time to go to bed, my Goddess left me restrained in the same way I had spent the evening, and she had me sleep nearly perpendicular to her so she could place her legs over my legs and back, using me as a body-pillow. She tends to sleep very deeply, and very well, that way.

As I woke up in the morning, I felt the locked cuffs restraining me before I had even opened my eyes. I remembered the delightful time we had the evening before, and I remained subspacey the rest of the morning.

Image courtesy of Cricketed's Blog

New collar (E)

My new locking rubber collar, with my ever-present Eternity Collar below

My Goddess and I received a new collar for me this week: a superb locking rubber collar, higher and firmer than my usual leather collars. Despite being more rigid and more severe than the leather collars I have worn on a daily basis, it is still surprisingly comfortable, if more restrictive.

My Goddess loved it right away. There is something ironic about how a more imposing collar creates an impression of even greater submission. Upon first seeing it, she admired its more "ornamental" appearance. I think she enjoyed that it did not only serve very functional and symbolic purposes, but it also had a beauty to it, somehow enhancing my submissiveness in how decorative it looked.

She is clearly also quite enamored with the delightful ringing sounds the four attached rings produce with my every movement. My Goddess has "a thing" for watching me, or hearing me, being submissive around the house. Dominant entertainment, I guess...

On my side, I am glad to wear a piece with such symbolism that brings my Goddess enjoyment. Inevitably, this increases even further her sense of dominance and control over me. The latter, of course, makes me feel ever more submissive and subservient to her. The ying-and-yang of ownership and belonging...


Image courtesy of Make Me Yours via Girls Rule, Subs Drool

Since I must always be wearing a locking collar at home, and on some outings when circumstances allow, I know that it will see a fair amount of use. The daily collaring is one of our favorite rituals, and now there is a new collar in the rotation. My Goddess has made me wear the new locking rubber collar ever since it has come in. I know it is not the end of the leather collars, however, since we both love and enjoy them so much.

The purpose of this piece was for me to have a collar that was easier to clean after a long day (or two... or three...) of domestic duties around the house. In fact, I could even take a shower with this thick rubber collar on without needing my Goddess to remove it. We both very much love my locking leather collars, but I always have misgivings about doing heavier work and breaking a sweat while wearing them. And cleaning leather collars can be a tedious process.

Now depending on plans for how I may best serve her, my Goddess can select the collar of her choice, and leave it on me, locked, for as long as she wants. Or until I need to go in to work...



Image courtesy of Under Feet via Girls Rule, Subs Drool

The secret is... enthusiasm (E)

A Little Light Bondage by Sorceress2000, via Lunar Black

Enthusiasm expresses wants and needs, and wants and needs impose will. Enthusiasm is the collection of many little daily gestures and words that expresses my Goddess' dominance, and her enjoyment of our D/s relational dynamics. And the fun she has playing with her toy... me.

Enthusiasm is my Goddess...

...giving me a harsh look and barking "Where's your collar, Bitch!" if I take any undue time to offer her the locking collar upon my arrival home each day. It happens very seldom... but when it does...

...pointing at her feet, where she wants me to sit, when she is ready to smoke and wants me to hold the ashtray for her;

...telling me what she wants or what she needs, and it is absolutely clear in the tone of her voice, that she is expecting, without a shadow of a doubt, that I will do it for her or get it for her;

...taking hold of my hair or my collar, pulling me in close to her, exhaling her cigarette smoke in my mouth;

...suddenly grabbing me by the hair while I'm sitting at her feet on the floor, and walking me over to the other end of the living room, leaving me on all fours, and serving up 24 strokes with the paddle, followed by 24 strokes with the cane;

...deciding that I will serve as furniture, and putting her legs up on my shoulders when I am at her feet on the floor, or telling me I must sleep at a 90 degree angle to her so that she can lay her legs up over my torso to sleep more comfortably, or ordering me to sit behind her so she can recline against me while we watch TV;

...bursting out "I really want to hurt you!" during lovemaking, and she brings me to a thunderous orgasm as I simultaneously whimper from the nipple torture;

...finalizing plans to bring me out to have a tattoo identifying me as her property;

...telling me "You're getting tied up tonight!" and after binding my wrists to the headboard of the bed, leaving me bound until the time the morning alarm goes off;

...sitting on my stomach while I am bound, and marking my chest with dominantly possessive drawings and notes with different colored Sharpies, which will remain visible for 3-5 days.

Enthusiasm is... the secret to the magic of D/s. At least for us it is.

Iconic picture of Prodomme Mistress Juliet Taylor (who seems to have retired), found on Women with Whips

New collar (E)

Image courtesy of The Sum of Me

I still recall vividly the day I was collared by my Goddess. It was a very special moment that I remember with much pride, warmth, and humbleness. A few short weeks after that turning point in our lives, it was determined that I would always wear a locked leather collar when I was with her in the house.

Several years later, the meaning of our very private collaring ceremony, and later, of our daily collaring, so that I am collared in her presence at all times (when away from the public), is as significant and meaningful as it has ever been. My commitment to my Goddess, her well-being, her happiness, and her fulfillment, remains unwavering. The sense of warmth, of purpose, and of belonging I feel being my Goddess' collared submissive/toy/pet is as powerful and intense as ever.

Our locking leather collar was a classic design. It was all black leather. Made from a one-piece strap, it was 1.25" wide, had 3 D-rings, and it had a locking buckle. The collar was elegantly classic (in a BDSM kind of way), firm, ungiving, strong yet flexible... all qualities shared by the person to whom it was a tribute to... my Goddess.

But it had to be retired recently after well over two years. Wear and increasing difficulties in cleaning it thoroughly led us to the decision to find another locking leather collar.

The collar had a good life, saw much use, and was an important part of our lives. There were short evenings and nights when I wore it only five or six hours. There were also long weekends when I wore it over 80 hours out of a possible 84 hours or so. It was always on when we were home together, and often it was worn for fetish events. Occasionally it was worn for quick errands (alone) or discreet outings (with my Goddess) on cold weather days.

On days when both my Goddess and I were at home, the collar often had a leashed attached to it. There were many, many moments when my Goddess grabbed the middle D-ring to pull me close to her and said to me in no uncertain way "Mine!"

There were times when my Goddess fell asleep next to me holding on to the middle D-ring. There were other times when she clipped my cuffed wrists to the side D-rings in order to get my hands and arms out of the way as she tortured my nipples with her lit cigarette, used several small and large clothespins for some CBT, dropped hot wax all over my chest, applied temporary tattoos, wrote notes of dominant and possessive love over my chest and back, or decided to do some facesitting.

So often I ran my fingers over the locking buckle and lock, feeling how secure they were, playing with them, tugging on them, and reveling in my Goddess' control.

Now, we have a new collar. Black and purple (the latter being my Goddess' favorite color), it is made from two straps. The top, wider (1.25") strap is black, and the bottom, narrower strap (1.00") is dark purple. It has a fixed central D-ring, and two more floating D-rings. It has purple stitching. And of course, it has a locking buckle. It is made from softer leather, but the two straps composing it and the finished lining make it a bit heavier. It isn't quite as firm as the previous one, but just as ungiving.

We both really like it, and it certainly feels like a worthy replacement. And it will certainly be interesting to see what new collection of moments will come to be during the course of the next few years with this new collar.

Image courtesy of Slaves of the Goddess

The invisible leash (E)

Mistress & Slave, fine art print by Brian Gibbs (RedBubble), found originally on Lunar Black

Recent changes to my professional life, and a related huge increase in commuting distance, has led to very long work days for me. I don't have any issues whatsoever with the work commitment... a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. But I am saddened by having less time to spend with my Goddess. Not only actual physical time, but prime quality time. When I get home 12-13 hours after having left for work, I'm afraid that my energy level may not be all that it could be. Certainly not every single day. But that’s something I’m aware of, and during the commute back, I’ll mentally prepare to be the very best I can for my Goddess. And I’ll strive to catch up and exceed her expectations on my days off.

That being said, my biggest worries are actually elsewhere. Two of the greatest threats to any relationship, vanilla or D/s, are what I call the two Ds: disconnection and doubt. Lack of prime quality I’m-so-into-you-and-I-can’t-be-without-you-for-a-single-second time, over days, and weeks, and months, can take its toll. It creates gaps in each other’s live. It leaves needs that inevitably get filled in other ways, sometimes even by other people.

In addition, extended periods away from those we love also create a creeping sense of doubt. Where are they? What are they doing? Who are they with? Do they really have to be there? Can they really not be here with me? While good communications, and a commitment to openness and transparency, can help tremendously in minimizing this creeping feeling of doubt, and the threat it represents to trust, it remains that relationship trust is a fine crystal wine glass that once cracked, or chipped, will never, ever be the same.

So will that in mind, a little over a week ago, I offered to my Goddess the use of a smart phone tracking app… that would allow her to track my locations and movements at all times. Whether the app is running in the background of my smart phone, or my Goddess pings me for confirmation of my location and status, or I provide regular status updates, she will know where I am, and what I’m likely to be doing, at all times that cell phone signal is available.

My Goddess has received my offer with much enthusiasm, and the introduction of this “Invisible Leash” into our lives has been very successful up to now, although I think that she will be experimenting with a number of other apps to see which one will give her the level of control she desires.

Her frequent checks on my location and status, and my regular updates of the same, have kept us discreetly in close touch throughout the course of each day. Each ping, each check, each update, is a reminder of our caring for each other, of our love of each other, and a reinforcement of our D/s relational dynamics.

The quasi-constant contact is likely reassuring and comforting for my Goddess. It is reassuring for me too, since I feel that we remain ever-present in each other’s mind. In fact, a few times after responding to her checking in requests, I reached up to the Eternity Collar permanently fixed around my neck, touched the ungiving stainless steel, and enjoyed the warm feeling of remembrance of my belonging to my Goddess.

My hope is that the “Invisible Leash” will help maintain our incredible sense of connection, and stave off, if not eliminate, the creeping feelings of doubt that increasingly come up as relationships age. And besides, it’s so hot when my Goddess is in a controlling mood…

Moment of the day (E)

Artwork courtesy of http://www.russianmistress.com/ via Miss and pet

Background:

Every morning that my Goddess and I leave for work at a similar time, we have a delightful ritual that we go through. It is a splendid, and very special, way for us to start off the day, renewing and reinforcing our D/s dynamics.

The alarm goes off on my bedside table. I get up, grab a few special items, and move to the kitchen to prepare my Goddess' coffee. While it's brewing, I clip the chrome and leather leash to my leather collar still locked from the previous evening... my Goddess enjoys holding on to, and tugging on, the leash to keep me close to her feet during morning coffee time. And I clip the clover clamps to my nipples... my Goddess loves to randomly tug on the chain to get my attention, or just because she enjoys the reaction she gets from me.

Once the coffee is ready, I bring it to a side table in the living room. I head back into the bedroom to wake up my Goddess gently, and let her know that everything is ready for her. Finally, I return to the living room and sit on the floor next to her usual spot on the sofa, while waiting for her to get up, go to the bathroom, and make her way next to me where, in a matter of a few minutes, my Goddess will enjoy her coffee, along with a cigarette, while watching some television before getting ready for the day.

Today's Moment of the Day:

Our ritual this morning pretty much followed the usual routine except for one variation... a small but oh-so-powerful twist that stayed with me all day.

As I went back the bedroom to wake up my Goddess after I prepared her coffee, she ordered me to remain next to the bed while she went to the bathroom. Upon her return, she firmly grabbed the leash, pulled it downwards to force me to get on all-fours, and walked toward the living room, pulling on the leash.

Immediately, I had a small wave of subspace come over me as I tried to keep up to my Goddess. I focused on her naked feet and ankles, extending below her bathrobe, as she led me on the leash. Once we got to our respective spots in the living room, she sat down on the sofa, and I sat on the floor at her feet. She shortened her hold on the leash, giving me just enough room to reach for the cigarettes.

And then the ritual got back on course. I lit her cigarette, gave it to her, reached for the ashtray, and held it while she enjoyed both her cigarette and her coffee, and watched a few minutes of television before getting ready for her work day.

Impact:

While our morning ritual is full of D/s symbolism and dynamics, this morning's seemingly simple additional gestures had a lasting impact on me throughout the day. Perhaps it was just the element of newness to a well-established ritual. Perhaps it was the suddenness and forcefulness of her actions, taking me by surprise. Perhaps it was the specific nature of her actions, triggering specific sentiments. Is there anything more quintessentially femdom in imagery and emotion than a submissive/slave being led on a leash by his beautiful dominant mistress? It is likely elements of all three. But I do know that it was wonderful to be swept by that small wave of subspace, to remain a bit tense anticipating what else may be coming up, to be in the control of my Goddess I crave so much. And I know that just as much as ever before, every little thing she does is magic...