"... when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
-- When Harry met Sally

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
-- Carl Jung

Saturday, February 27, 2010

The hands of a Goddess... (E)

Artwork courtesy of Mickle Design Werks through http://bringonxtoys.tumblr.com/

The hands that lock the collar around my neck every night, keeping me close to her, without the possibility of escaping her love or her control...

The hands that caress my face every day, making me feel like the most precious thing in the world...

The hands that grab my hair, having me do whatever she wants and serving her in whatever manner she desires...

The hands that scratch my body, and that in the heat of passion and play will leave marks that will last for days... ...

The hands that place a blindfold over my eyes so that she become my entire universe of sensations...

The hands that wield the canes, paddles, and floggers that express her dominance over my body...

The hands that torture my nipples and my most sensitive parts, bringing her so much sadistic joy...

The hands that put me into bondage, laying out the canvas for the fulfillment of her dominant desires...

The hands that make me produce the sounds that she enjoys so much, that excite her so much, and that feed her lust to hurt me......

The hands that place a gag in my mouth and buckle it firmly, because she doesn't want to share those sounds with anyone else...

The hands that pull on my leash, leading my body and my mind where she wants, and to do what she wants...

The hands that place clothespins or drops hot wax in pretty patterns because she loves to see me squirm...

The hands that write on my body that I belong to her and her alone...

The hands that dig into the inside of my hips while she takes me with her strap-on and fucks me until she reaches climax...

The hands that take hold of the permanently locked chain around my neck every day, letting me know that there is no escape from her...

The hands that hurt me to the point of climax, just because she loves doing it...

Those wonderful, gentle, dominant, hurting hands that are the brushes that paint the picture of my Goddess' dominance over me, that paint the landscape of our relational dynamics, that bring to life desires, and realize the sexual expression and the fulfillment of two individuals that are deeply in love with each other and cannot possibly let go of each other...

I love those hands...

Friday, February 26, 2010

Words that ... (E)

Temporarily misplaced the credits for this image...

Words that excite me... that create that feeling of anticipation... that create their own subspace... that instantly focus my full attention on my Goddess, if ever it wasn't on her already.

Words that are totally spontaneous. And so powerful.

Without context...
  1. Where's my coffee, Bitch?!?
  2. Where's your collar?
  3. The feet! What about the feet?
  4. I'm in a mood...
  5. Where are the cuffs?
  6. Don't go anywhere...
  7. Where did you put the canes?
  8. Aww... I love that sound...
  9. I want to hurt [you]...
  10. I love that...
  11. I need to hurt [you]...
  12. All mine!!!
Totally addicted to her...

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Desire and appreciation (E)

Artwork courtesy of http://malesubmissionart.com

Over the time that we've been blogging, many people have taken the time to leave a comment or send us an email about the artwork we use. The feedback has been wonderful, and it has made the trouble of finding artwork for each post well worth the effort. Choosing appropriate artwork can be a surprisingly challenging task, and it can often take almost as long as it takes to write the post. It has to be relevant to the main point/theme of the post, it hopefully matches up to a certain extent with some of the main activities, and it certainly must capture the emotions or energy of the post. In addition, if the author of the artwork can be identified, and I know this individual makes a living from their art, I will also shoot them a quick email to ask them for permission to use the artwork. Whew! Lots of work... but again, the feedback of our readers make it all worth it.

Occasionally, very rarely, the process runs in the opposite direction. I'll see artwork that will immediately inspire some thoughts or reflections, and I'll literally start developing a post around it. Today is one of those instances. Visiting one of my favorite websites, Male Submission Art, I found not only a superb photograph (2/18/2010) that took my breath away, but I was once more impressed by maymay's impactful and deep comments. While his comments about this picture go far beyond the passage I copied below, I was particularly touched by what he had to say on desire:

"...what I like most about the photograph is the evident desire exuding from both models... Desire is a complex beast; it’s difficult to succinctly and accurately communicate what it is that we want. Worse, if you enjoy occupying certain social roles, such as submissive masculinity, cultural preconceptions about what you are allowed to want so strongly influence so many people that actually getting what you want is made even harder. And if that weren’t enough, many people often perceive frustration from wanting-and-not-getting as anger or entitlement on your part when, in fact, such frustration is simply the innate human drive towards equal opportunity."


And I think this passage made an impact on me because of my own difficulties in expressing my submissive side for many years, despite the fact that I began having these feelings at a very young age, and they have been part of my life, of who I am, every single day of my life. In retrospect, this was made even more challenging because of the respect and admiration I've received for my strong RL personality. So finding the right opportunities, and the right people, to share my submissive desires with, never mind living them out, had been something that had truly become a journey.

Which leads me to my Goddess. Through the lenses of such reflections and considerations, she is for me, more than ever, the rarest of jewels. Among the truly remarkable elements of our relationship is that element of desire. The fact that I could express those desires, and that I would find acceptance and understanding from her, is simply wonderful. Beyond that, I found someone who wanted me for who I was, including those desires. That is what SHE desires. Desiring someone is hot, being desired by someone is even hotter. It is the enthusiasm she has for possessing me, the joy she expresses reveling in my service and attention, her desire to be dominant to me with the intensity I want to submit to her, all these things that create that "equal opportunity", opposite but complimentary, different but just as fulfilling, that make this relationship so exceptional.

All I can say is that I wish upon all of you that have searched so hard and waited for so long, that you get your opportunity to reach that moment of bliss at one point. And never give up looking.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

When the time for reward is now... (E)

Artwork courtesy of http://anaistheninja.tumblr.com/

Still wearing bondage gear from last night's activities, I'm trapped in bed next to my Goddess while she's still sleeping. But I can't sleep anymore... still totally turned on by what my Goddess did... still in a subspace/worship state of mind.

And the subspacey feeling created by the present predicament is simply sublime. I have no choice but to remain next to my Goddess until she wakes up, and I'll be there for her right then. On a more physical side, there's the sensation of the locked leather cuffs around my limbs and neck... heavy... a bit sticky to the skin. There is a continual light ringing sound as the lock for each cuff is always moving, always swinging. My Goddess reminds me often of how much she loves that sound. The sound of her pet in bondage? Or is it the sound of possession? Or control?

So how did I get into this predicament, you may ask...
I could feel my Goddess' need for domination over-flowing over the course of the day. Last night as we retired, she promptly started going through our toys, and she retrieved some locking leather cuffs. In a matter of a minute, I was laying on the bed bound and blindfolded, and my Goddess was sitting on my stomach, enjoying the sounds and movements I made as she played hard with my nipples.
As she intensified the NT, and started some CBT, she found me a little too noisy, and pulled out the ball-gag. Sometimes she tells me she likes to keep those sounds just for her...
My Goddess ordered me on all-fours on the bed, and gave my backside a few slaps before pulling out a small, stingy, latex flogger. As she worked over different areas of my butt and back with it, I felt the sharp strikes leave redness and warmth wherever they came down. An occasional second pass over still warm skin made for a deeper, more lasting sensation.
Bringing the flogging to an end, my Goddess grabbed our hot pink Sharpie, and marked my right butt cheek, with what I found out later was "Selena" in cursive letters (2" X 5").
She removed the ball-gag, and then, after a short pause, I felt a finger come inside me, preparing me for what was to follow. I was suspicious that my Goddess had been dying to get to the strap-on for a while now, and now was the time. After some very erotic application of lube, I felt the tip of my Goddess' strap-on against me. Gently but insistently it pressed against me, and it wasn't long before I had relaxed, surrendered and given way to the desires of my Goddess.
She was standing next to the bed, and I was on elbows and knees on the bed, with my feet over the side of the bed and quite spread apart. My Goddess took her time, and slowly made her way in... all the way in. Enjoying the sensations and the power, she changed movements and rhythms in a deliberate, determined way. This was slower paced than usual, but it was just so sensual, so hot, and.totally in control Then came the magical point when, in what is always one of the hottest moments of my Goddess taking me, she grabbed my hips with her hands, and began pulling them in as her hips were pushing against me. It didn't take much time after that for her to reach a thunderous climax.
I still don't have the words to describe the intense "joy-serve-toy-sensations-belonging-object-submission-pet-subspace-property-excitement" I feel when my Goddess takes me like that, but I just never get over it. It stays as magical as it's ever been.
And just to make sure I don't forget those feelings, my Goddess pulled out the hot pink Sharpie again, and inside my left thigh, she wrote "Property of Selena"...

Monday, February 15, 2010

Being rewarded (E)

Artwork courtesy of Flat Earth Social Club

Getting her coffee in the morning, getting her drinks throughout the day, and making sure she has a glass of water when she goes to sleep... Making sure she's comfortable sitting, sleeping, or going outside in inclement weather... Washing her clothes... Preparing her meals... Running errands for her... Cleaning up behind her... Reminding her of favorite TV shows coming on... Pulling the covers neatly over her as I tuck her into bed in the evening...

Little things that make my Goddess' life easier. As it should be, since she is the focus of my day, everyday, and the center of my universe.

I don't ask for a lot. In fact, I try not to ask for anything. But of course, things don't work that way, and in different ways, my Goddess does as much for me as I do for her. The dynamics work because what we do for each other is equivalent, not identical.

Sometimes, my Goddess feels that she doesn't give me quite enough attention. I tell her not to worry, but she does. And that leads to special moments where she acknowledges my dedication to her. While not necessary, those moments of recognition are very meaningful to me. In addition, they can be very exciting, especially when my Goddess comes in close to me and whispers in my ear "you will be rewarded for this".

And then the D/s tension is always brought up an extra notch when I reply that I don't do what I do for reward, that I'm just happy to have the opportunity to do it, and my Goddess retorts that I WILL be rewarded, whether I want it or not. At that point, my mind just starts racing, I feel a little anticipation working itself into the pit of my stomach, subspace slowly starts washing over me, and my imagination starts moving in thousands of different directions, all at the same time...

Friday, February 12, 2010

I just love it when in the morning... (E)

Artwork courtesy of Flat Earth Social Club

From a deep, deep sleep, I’m brought into that a semblance of consciousness by the pain of her nails going down my penis.

Alternating between NT and CBT, she is scratching, squeezing, clawing, pinching, twisting, and just generally hurting me out of the fog of unconsciousness. As my Goddess is getting increasingly turned-on by my moans, gasps, exhales, and reactions, she pulls on my hair, snaps my head back, and takes a kiss from me. And then nibbles on one of my ears… hard.

She’s moving with intent, with determination. My Goddess wants… needs… me to provide her with sexual servitude and satisfaction. She positions herself next to me, takes one of my hands, and places it exactly where she wants it. Not a word has been said yet since she woke me up, and yet, I know clearly what I have to do. My mind is still not quite awake yet, but my cock certainly is, rock-hard and bobbing, as I serve the will and desires of the strong, dominant woman I love.

My Goddess reaches one orgasm, then a second, before she grabs my hair and pushes my face between her legs. The rest of my body follows, positioning itself so that I can get the best angle to pleasure my Goddess. I can’t see her face, but I can just imagine her expression by the way she’s exhaling, by the way she’s holding on to my hair, by the way she’s moving. Turned on more than ever by the vibes I’m getting from my Goddess, I work gradually harder and faster, particularly enjoying the delightful nectar of her previous orgasms.

Yet another orgasm runs through my Goddess’ body. I feel her shaking has she still has a hold of my hair, this time to keep my tongue from getting anywhere close to her. But the trembling stops after a minute or two, and she needs more. She takes a hold of my nipples, and pulls me over her. The sexual servitude is not yet over, nor is the end of my hurt. In this position, instead of holding on to my hair, my Goddess controls the pace and intensity through torturing my nipples.

She was just insatiable on this morning, and by the time it finished, we had lost count of the number of her orgasms, I was in subspace and yet incredibly turned on (not a usual combination for me), and my Goddess, feeling generous on this particular morning, allowed be release.

I just love a woman who wakes up and knows what she wants in the morning…

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Primal need for D/s (E)

Artwork courtesy of www.malesubmissionart.com

As you can tell by the lack of posts over the last little while, RL has left us with very little time for formal D/s activities, or for reflection and/or writing about what's been going on.

This situation has left us increasingly hungry, with each passing day, to return to our usual levels of intensity and activity. And yet, to a certain extent, it has brought increasing attention and significance to some of the little things.

The placing and locking of the leather collar around my neck in the evening has become almost a ceremony. I no longer have time to get my collar... my Goddess keeps it handy herself, pulls it out at the first opportunity, and puts it on me. I can feel her pressing need to put the collar on me. I can feel her relief when she locks it and she knows I am hers without question for the night.

In the busy, and very open public settings that we find ourselves, small duties such as getting my Goddess food or drinks, or preparing them for her, seem innocuous to all those around us, and yet, these actions have become so important as they as among the only ones that are possible under the circumstances.

As one of only a handful of commands that is given, and that can be followed, during the course of these days, a quiet "Get me my coffee, Bitch!" in private is even more powerful right now than if my Goddess was barking it to me while in leather, with stiletto heels and holding a crop.

We are both feeling this deep, deep need to return to a more active and demonstrative level of D/s. There is a certain level of withdrawal. The D/s tension is there, the roles are transparent to us, if opaque to others, and D/s whispers are now loud and heavy in their significance. But we can feel that this primal need in each of us, such an essential part of who we are and how we express our sexuality to each other, is not quite being fulfilled while things are so busy and out of sorts for us these days.

But it''s just a matter of time before life returns to something more normal. If you can ever call life, or us, normal...