Artwork courtesy of http://lunarblack.tumblr.com/ My pleasure belongs to my Goddess. She loves being in control, and she especially enjoys being in control of when and how often I have orgasms. She loves being the only source of my sexual pleasures. My sexual satisfaction belong to her.
Several recent posts on the blogosphere, some by very respected bloggers such as Lady Grey, Mistress Milliscent (10/10/2010)Ms. Marie, saratoga (and here), Aarkey, and many more, have discussed chastity from several different perspectives. Chastity with or without chastity devices. Chastity and chastity devices as part of relationships.
Enforced chastity through the use of devices, like the CB-series of devices, or some of the beautiful pieces from Ms. Lori, are not part of our play. It doesn't make what we do any better or any worse than what other people do, it's just our way.
Chastity for me is hard. Very hard. And my Goddess knows that. I'm an everyday, or every second day kind of guy. And while BDSM scenes are extremely satisfying and fulfilling for me, and I have a need for such play on nearly as regular a basis, they are not conducive to me wanting sexual release. Heavy subspace and orgasms don't mix very well for me. I'm simply not in the same headspce. But it remains that in-between play time/sessions, my Goddess turns me on to no end, all the time, and the D/s-based nature of our relational dynamics only heightens how excited I am around her, and when I think of her. So waiting three or four days for release requires much self-discipline on my part, and if we close in on a week, I can feel myself edgy, irritable, and desperate.
Am I ever tempted to cheat? To sneak an orgasm while she's away? Yes. All. The. Time. Except, perhaps, the day after she brought me to a universe-shaking orgasm. But I don't cheat. I don't because I know how much she enjoys bringing me to climax, whether it is during sex (which is never without significant BDSM components), if she makes me have an orgasm while she watches, or if she forces me to reach climax during play. I would be devastated to have gotten an orgasm on my own earlier, and not be able to give my Goddess the satisfaction on my pleasure at the very moment she wants it. And I never really know when she'll want it, so I have to remain ready or prepared.
Chastity for us is about my devotion to her. It's about my Goddess controlling the relationship and controlling my urges and desires. It's about me being totally true to her, and fulfilling her wants, desires, and needs when and where she asks.
The hardest moment of the week to remain chaste? After sexual servitude. In the hours or days after my Goddess requires me to bring her to climax once or several times, in a variety of ways. There are few things that display as powerfully her dominance over me and my submission to her as the moment after I have sated her sexual hunger and she tells me after she's done, "Nothing for you today. You have to wait." During my time providing sexual service to my Goddess, the excitement grows in me as she becomes increasingly aroused, and seeing her reach climax almost brings me to the edge each time. But more often than not, the joy of seeing and feeling her have powerful orgasms is all I get, beyond the intense satisfaction of having quenched her desires.
While chastity devices would seem very erotic, and I can certainly see the appeal both in terms of how excited I would be to have something like that locked on me (the constriction, the restraint), and the freedom they provide (definitely removes the temptation), I doubt they will be part of our play anytime soon. The trouble and cost of finding the right fit, and hygiene issues (I am an obsessive clean-freak) outweigh in my mind what they would bring me in terms of additional pleasure. And my Goddess loves to see, and control, my struggle to remain true and devoted to her. It works for us. For now.
Could I go longer than a week or so? Surely if necessary, and if My Goddess requires it. At the same time, I expect that she would start having as hard a time I as would after a while, since my release is such an important part of her play. I think there are many similarities between Lady Grey and my Goddess in regards to this facet of our dynamics.
So there you have it... chastity... how it plays into our relational dynamics...
