"... when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
-- When Harry met Sally

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
-- Carl Jung

Friday, July 31, 2009

Bath time (E)

Image courtesy of http://www.aprilrainshowers.com/

I guess my sense of function or purpose makes me rather picky in how I worship my Goddess. I love footplay, and lavishing kisses all over her is very enjoyable for me, but somehow, I've never been a fan of doing those things for very long periods of time. Depending on how she reacts, or on her mood, after a few minutes I move on to other sensual pleasures for her. She may also interrupt me to ask (command?) sexual servitude, or to give the scene a totally different direction. I'm not worried for me... I'd be happy to oblige with worship in whatever way, and for however long, my Goddess would desire. I'm more worried for her... Is she getting bored past the first few minutes?

So there's something very appealing for me, and very satisfying, in giving my Goddess a bath. There's a real sense of servitude, of purpose, of tangible worship through active participation in caring for her in such a way. It's a sensual and intimate experience, full of tender touches and subtle expressions. It also brings to life a beautiful scene full of D/s symbolism... the submissive giving, working, and caring for, and the dominant receiving, enjoying, and being taken care of. Like so many things in life, maybe it's the combination of several elements that makes such moments so rich within the context of D/s: worship, making her life better/easier, providing/receiving pleasurable sensations, and servitude. And I can't forget that it's also yet another opportunity to spend some time in very close physical proximity to each other.

A bath drawn for my Goddess,
A chance to lavish care and tenderness.
Water at just the right temperature,
A favorite fragrance filling the room,
She is just magnificient laying there.
The water makes her beautiful skin glisten,
And the bubbles tantalizingly flow
Over and around sacred areas.
I kneel by the side of the tub
Almost naked with locked collar and leash,
Anxious for the honor of serving
And caring for the One I love.
Adding some body wash to the loofah,
I gently start scrubbing her left hand,
And slowly work my way to her shoulder.
I repeat the same of the right side
Before moving on to her chest and torso.
Delicately I draw small circles around
Her breasts standing out of the water,
And I move down towards her hips.
One foot, five toes, up to the knee,
Finishing up with the thigh,
One leg is done, and then I move
To the other, washing it as meticulously.
Next I wash her hair, beautiful and soft,
Massaging her scap as I run my fingers
Through her strands and around her neck,
And I'm mesmerized as she brings her head
Under the surface, her hair flowing gently
With the movement of the water.
I place a rolled up towel onto the tub edge
So she can lie her head back comfortably.
I begin to wash her face delicately,
Forehead, temples, cheeks, chin, nose,
Neck, between the mouth and nose, and ears,
Each surface distinctly soft in its own way.
Finally, the most intimate parts are left,
And they get no less attention than the rest,
No less care, and just as much gentleness.
After quick rinse under the shower,
I await my Goddess with our best towel,
Carefully but quickly drying her
So that she doesn't get cold.
The smile on her face and the kiss on my lips
Are wonderful expressions of gratitude.
What pleasure and what privilege it was
To share such tender and erotic moments,
Trying to take care of my Goddess
In such a hedonistic manner,
Attending to her comfort and health.
If only I could have time to do this for her
Every single day, it would only be
But a small gesture of worship and tribute
For all that she does, and all that she is for me.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

A Day at the County Fair (S)

So, I am going to try to explain this simile in my head between my new life with dymion and the county fair. Yes, this could get ugly. I will spare you the part of the discussion about my fear of clowns or how men with unusually small hands remind me of "carnies" and thus I could never date them...a little off subject, I think, so we will skip that terrifying aspect of the county fair.

ANYWAY, you know that moment when you first make it to the fairgrounds? You see all the lights, hear the kids scream as the roller coaster goes by...smell the funnel cake...Ah, the honeymoon period...that time when it seems magical just to be part of the action! Similar to life, it is when your partner can do NO WRONG. He's sexy, charming, witty, considerate, and just a plain joy to be around. Nothing bothers you.

However, in every other relationship I have had, I knew the fair would soon leave town...they are traveling kind of folk, you know? ANYWAY, even though I currently may think them precious, I could tell what actions or habits of previous boyfriends would someday annoy me. Just as I could tell that by the end of the weekend, I would have a splitting headache from the noise and too much cotton candy and be ready to wave goodbye to the caravan as it headed to another county...I also may regret telling the bearded lady to email me anytime...oops...off topic.

BY THE WAY, I did always love the freak show...the deviant I am...I admired the uniqueness of it all and the bravery of the men, women, and children who sat proudly on display. Never thought of them as freaks or monsters...just honest. Much like the freak show experience, our bdsm lifestyle certainly adds an amount of rush to our mix, but - again - even the world's tiniest man or the goat with three heads or even lobster boy just don't shock or amuse most of us after seeing them over and over and over again! Sooner or later, you stop going if the exhibits don't change and what you found mesmerizing no longer appeals. Bummer.

ANYWAY, so dymion and I just made it to 7 months...after five months he moved in with me and my roomates...the world's tiniest, most cuddly creatures. Living together..enjoying the bdsm lifestyle 24/7...spending evey free moment in one another's presence...that is the true challenge of whether or not you can keep the butterflies going or the rides running or the world's fattest women eating...

ANYWAY...I am still not bored, not annoyed, and very into him physically and emotionally. I am amazed that this isn't a honeymoon period and this isn't the county fair that will be heading out to discover the next rural town in 48 hours...this is it....this is our life. I am so flattered that I still inspire him to write almost everyday...though I do feel a bit behind on this blog. I am so thrilled we can talk about absolutely anything.. from work.. to past relationships.. to politics.. to sex.. to bdsm.. to environmental issues..to culture.. and especially, OUR future.

So cool that I have so many roller coasters to ride, funnel cakes to eat, tractor pulls to watch, rings to toss, balloons to pop, prize winning cows to pet, and bearded ladies to exchange emails with (off subject again, I think) for many years to come.

I will end with this. When I was in college I was a pretty musical person...also pretty pessimitic about long-term relationships. I wrote a lot of songs, though I didn't share many with my band mate in fear of criticism or ridicule. ANYWAY, I wrote one about the Honeymoon Period called "Ferris Wheel." Brace yourselves...it isn't that good, but it made a lot of sense to me at the time and I think I can finally answer the question I alway posed to myself...

Relationships are like a Ferris Wheel

The ups and down have some appeal
It's scary when you get too high
But you'll hang on, do your best to try.
You know it's short...the rush will end...
But will you beg to ride again?

Yep...I'll ride this one over and over again. The fair isn't leaving "Selena County" anytime soon.

Domestic servitude in the morning (E)

  • Prepared coffee and cigarette for my Goddess, holding her ashtray.
  • Repeated about half an hour later.
  • My Goddess clipped my house leash (50') to my collar.
  • Waited for my Goddess to be hungry for breakfast.
  • Picked-up dirty laundry around the house.
  • Put in a wash of laundry (darks).
  • Put away clean dishes.
  • Filled and turned-on dishwasher.
  • Organized garbage and recycling.
  • Pulled in for a kiss and smoking by my Goddess, held her ashtray.
  • Transfered wash (darks) to the dryer.
  • Put in a second wash of laundry (colors).
  • My Goddess felt sleepy, so she layed down for a nap; I have instructions to wake her up in one hour.
  • Put away miscellaneous things lying around.
  • Cleaned/bleached kitchen countertops.
  • Checked on food and water for the pets.
  • Folded, hung, and put away clothes (darks) from the dryer.
  • Transfered wash (colors) to the dryer.
  • Put in another wash of laundry (whites).
  • Prepared coffee.
  • Woke up my Goddess from her nap, served her coffee in bed.
  • Smoked together, with me holding her ashtray.
  • Folded, hung, and put away clothes (colors) from the dryer.
  • Transfered wash (whites) to the dryer.
  • Showered and got ready to go out to eat with my Goddess.
  • And then we were inseparable for the rest of the day...

Let me bring some clarification... I don't enjoy cleaning around the house anymore than anyone else does. I certainly don't have a reputation for keeping tidy quarters. However, there's something extremely satisfying about doing it for my Goddess. Of course, I'd prefer to be by her side, sharing moments of affection, involved in intellectual discussions or pursuits, or engaged in BDSM play of whatever mood she may be in. But if she is going to be relaxing alone on her side, and I want to do something useful with my time while confined to the house (can't forget the locked collar and 50' leash), then I feel good about spending time tidying up our living environment. I know a clean house (OK... some progress toward a clean house) makes her life easier and more pleasant. Her satisfaction in finding things where they should be, having everything clean, folded or put away, in not having to move things or search for them, is all the reward I need to be motivated to attend to my domestic duties.

And the bonus is seeing my Goddess smile when she notices what I've done. I may, or may not, even be further rewarded with a kiss, a hug, and some encouraging words. Knowing what I've done for her, and that I did it for her, a warm smile and a simple acknowledgement from my Goddess is all that I could ever want to stay motivated to keep her/our house as neat and functional as I ever can.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

The joys of her sadism... (E)

Artwork courtesy of http://malesubmissionart.com/

... or how I'm probably not really a masochist.

Or is it just a matter of perspective? Or a matter of definition?

I absolutely love it when my Goddess inflicts pain. I am addicted to her hurting me. Not because of the sensations I feel, but because she enjoys it. She loves my reactions... she loves the sounds I make... she loves the changes in my breathing... she loves the way I squirm... she loves the way my head falls back... she loves my facial expressions... she loves the way I sometimes bite my lower lip...

I know these things because over time, I've felt how I've spurred her on as I realized I was unintentionally doing those things. I don't need to do any of those, or fake anything... my Goddess just makes these things happen when she's is the mood to hurt me. Her reactions to my reactions are just so phenomenal. I can literally feel the hunger grow inside of her, the fire burn hotter, when she starts playing with me, when she starts hurting me, and the more I react, the more she hurts me.

I can't describe it as anything else than erotic pain. I don't think I would put up with it if my Goddess wouldn't enjoy it so much. I certainly wouldn't be able to handle anywhere to as much of it if I wouldn't feel that it was such an intense experience for her. And the more powerful it becomes for her, the more I am willing to give to her... or to take for her. As much as surrender happens when I submit my body and mind to her, the surrender continues, becomes deeper, as I submit to an increasing amount, and intensity, of pain, and when she wants to inflict more of it.

There comes an extraordinary moment, a magical moment, of intersection between our individual trajectories when I get to the point where I don't think I can take any more, and yet, I don't want her to stop, and my Goddess gets to the point of climax taking me to that edge. This, for me, is the moment where the nexus takes place or opens. This is the ultimate moment of connection from two very different paths, one of dominance and one of submission, one of inflicting pain and one of receiving it. It is an absolutely incredible moment of us joining as one for me to be right teetering on the edge, wondering if I can resist any longer asking her to slow down or ease off just a bit, and when my Goddess just reaches her climax doing whatever it is she is doing. Then, for a few more seconds, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind I can take just a little more to see her through. I'm having flashbacks just writing about it...

My nipples were pretty sore from some of yesterday's activities. It still didn't prevent my Goddess from another two rounds of CBT and nipple play during the course of today. What seemed like her usual teasing, tormenting, and torturing left me reacting more intensely and more abruptely than what is usually the norm for me because of the extra sensitivity. Somehow, this just made my Goddess hungrier for more. I only realized how worked up she had become after I was fighting so hard to hold on as she alternated between torturing my nipples with her fingers and her nails, and biting them. The pain was just so intense, and yet, when I could focus back on reality between her quick changes, moving from one method to another, I realized how overwhemed my Goddess had become.

I don't think there is anything quite as powerfully erotic for me within the world of BDSM as the power exchange that comes from suffering and enduring pain for, and until, the sexual fulfillment of my Goddess...

Thursday, July 23, 2009

The weekday morning ritual (E)

dictionary.reference.com: ritual: any practice or pattern of behavior regularly performed in a set manner.

freeonlinedictionary.com: ritual: a state or condition characterized by the presence of established procedure or routine.

The purposes of rituals are varied; they include compliance with religious obligations or ideals, satisfaction of spiritual or emotional needs of the practitioners, strengthening of social bonds, demonstration of respect or submission, stating one's affiliation, obtaining social acceptance or approval for some event — or, sometimes, just for the pleasure of the ritual itself...

Due to their symbolic nature, there are hardly any limits to the kind of actions that may be incorporated into a ritual...

Ritual serves diverse purposes including, but not limited to: worship, ... atonement, dedication, education...

Alongside the personal dimensions of worship and reverence, rituals can have a more basic social function in expressing, fixing and reinforcing the shared values and beliefs of a society...

Rituals can aid in creating a firm sense of group identity. Humans have used rituals to create social bonds and even to nourish interpersonal relationships...


On weekdays when both my Goddess and I go to work, I am the first one to wake up and get out of bed. I am always wearig my locked collar, which has normally been on since my return home the previous evening. Depending on my Goddess' mood the night before, I may be wearing locked leather wristcuffs and ankle cuffs, and they may, or may not, be clipped.

My first task is to prepare her coffee. Once that's done, I bring it back to the bedroom, turn on the television, place the coffee mug on her side table, and I gently wake her up from the side of the bed, on my knees.

As my Goddess awakens from her sleep, she makes herself comfortable sitting upright in bed, reclining on a pillow up against the headboard of the bed. As she takes her first sip of coffee, I light two cigarettes, handing one to her. Sitting on the floor by her side, I hold an ashtray which I keep comfortably within her reach until she is done. During that time, I turn on her hair rollers to warm up.

As she takes a few more sips of her coffee while she watches television, I go over to the bathroom, where I prepare her bath, turning on the water, and pouring her favorite bubble bath concoction into the rising water. I go back to her, wait until my Goddess is ready to get up, or until the bath will be adequately filled with water, assist her out of bed, accompany her to the bathtub, and make sure she has everything she needs.

If my Goddess does need anything, I will take care of it. But more often than not, she doesn't, and I usually return to bed, with her permission, to catch a few more minutes of sleep. During that time, my Goddess will clean-up, get dressed, do her hair, put on her make-up, and put her handbag or purse together for the day.

Before she leaves, my Goddess will come over to where I'm sleeping, unlock my collar and remove it. She is the only one who can put on and lock, or remove and unlock, my collar. While I may remove the cuffs once she leaves, I am forbidden to remove (or put on, for that matter) my collar myself. I will then accompany her to the door, making sure that my Goddess has everything she needs for the day, exchange kisses, and ask her to drive safely, as we hold hands until the last possible moment.


Within the D/s dynamics of our relationship, the purposes of this morning ritual definitely include compliance with obligations and ideals, satisfaction of spiritual and emotional needs, strengthening of our bond and connection, demonstration of respect and submission, seeking acceptance and approval, and just for the pleasure of the ritual itself. There are clearly dimensions of worship and reverence. Our ritual expresses and reinforces the D/s roles we hold within our relationship, and reinforces the dynamics of that relationship. And through that, as it nourishes our bond, our connection, it strengthens the relationship itself. There is no better way to start the day...

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

My Goddess having entirely too much fun (E)

Picture courtesy of http://malesubmissionart.com/

Not that this household needs another length of rope, but two evenings ago, My Goddess and I were shopping for essentials, and she picked out a beautiful green rope that would cover most of the length of our home. Inspired by a conversation that had come up just recently, she expressed a desire to have me by her side whenever she desired, without having to run around to find me, or having to call out to me and risk me not hearing because of surrounding noises.

I'm not in the habit of wandering away from my Goddess. I want... I need... to be by her side every moment that I can. She is just that special to me, and I celebrate every minute that I can be with her. But occasionally I may need to catch up on household tasks, work-related matters, writing, or a number of other things. Not my first-choices, but life must go on.

In addition, I can never leave the confines of our home once we've settled in for the day because of the very noticeable leather ring collar that my Goddess keeps locked around my neck from the time we come back home for the day to the time we get ready for work. And she also often places locked leather wrist cuffs and ankle cuffs on me to wear.

But it wasn't enough for my Goddess. She wanted me back to her, with minimal effort, absolutely any time she desired it. And she needed a rope of a decent length for her purpose.

When we returned home with our purchases, it was late in the evening and my Goddess needed to get ready for sleep. I had some things to put away before joining her, but I knew what the priority was. So I went into our makeshift dungeon, pulled out a large clip that had an inch D-ring on the opposite side, and knotted the end of our new rope to the D-ring. Then, I went to see my Goddess with the offering.

The mischeviously playful smile that she greeted me with when I presented the new rope and attachment to her made my heart melt. She sheer glee and delight on her face made me weak on the inside and triggered that feeling of descent into subspace. My Goddess quickly strapped on and locked my collar, and with the most erotic combination of giggling and evil intentions, clipped the rope to the middle D-ring on my collar. She evidently was overjoyed at the sight, and quite pleased with our new play toy.

Still with a huge smile on her face and a sparkle in her eye, she sent me on my way to finish my household duties. But I don't think I made it halfway down the main hall before my Goddess felt the need to test out our new device, and pulled on the rope to bring me back to her. All she wanted this time was kiss.

During my time putting away purchases, my Goddess had fun pulling me back to her every few minutes for whatever small request she could think of. She couldn't get enough of her new toy, and neither could I. There's something very tangibly powerful about being pulled in by the collar for a request, a task, or a duty. And each time, her playfully wicked smile would just further increase my sense of submission, of surrender, of belonging, and of her ownership of me. Moments that overwhelmingly make me feel like I would do absolutely anything for her.

It didn't take much time last evening after I got home for her to put on my collar and clip the rope to it. As usual, I was at her beck and call, but again, the feeling was all the more real being at the end of a rope she kept looped around her wrist. And her smile never diminished.

During the course of the evening, my Goddess warned me, with much enthusiasm, that this would become a regular part of our rituals. I had no complaint to offer...

A bit later, at a time I thought I had everything covered, and that my Goddess was getting ready to go to sleep, she pulled me in one more time for another good night kiss. But as is often the case with our good night kisses, it became much more than a gentle kiss on the lips or the forehead, and within a few minutes, I was providing my Goddess with one last important service for the day...

Another night in bondage (E)

Picture courtesy of http://malesubmissionart.com/

I knew something special was coming when my Goddess told me to make sure that I took care of everything I needed to do before going to bed... It was made clear to me that once lying down, I would not be able, or be allowed, to leave her side.

My locked collar had already been in place since earlier that evening. As soon as I came in to join her in bed, she placed leather wristcuffs on me, which she locked, and told me to make myself comfortable. I followed her instructions with a sense of excitement, but there was also a certain level of underlying erotic D/s tension as I wasn't quite sure of the extent of what she had in mind.

Her intentions became clear when she brought over the spreader bar, and placed each of my ankles in the cuffs attached to it. Within a matter of seconds, my Goddess had locked my ankles into the spreader bar at the foot of the bed, and came back to the top of the bed, where she tied my wristcuffs to the top of the headboard, leaving some slack in the rope for my hands to drop down a bit, thereby diminishing the tension in my shoulders.

Once bound in this manner, my Goddess reached over, kissed me gently but passionately on the lips, wished me a good night's sleep, and layed her head on my chest, with her right arm wrapped over my torso, and she placed her right thigh over my hips.

And then we fell asleep... a profound, wonderful sleep. With my Goddess keeping me right next to her side, not wanting me to leave her. With me, captured body and soul, right next to her, not wanting (or able) to leave her. Belonging and owning, dominance and submission, our want and our need to be in immediate physical proximity was expressed in real life on this beautiful and powerful canvas, so much symbolism brought to life in a simple and yet overwhelming way.

More than ever before I felt that you never want to let me go, my Goddess. And please know, my Love, that I never want to leave your side... and I never want you to let me go.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Sexual servitude (E)

Picture courtesy of http://malesubmissionart.com

"I. Want. Sexual. Servitude."

I can't think of anything that my Goddess can tell me that will get me as completely and totally focused on her. Not that I'm a slacker when it comes to paying attention to her needs, stated or unstated. I try to think ahead whenever possible, and when she does ask for something, I do my best to do it well and quickly.

But sexual service is an opportunity to create a highlight in my Goddess' day. It's an opportunity to make her day better, to help her forget all the bad stuff about her day, and to create a diferent mood, serene and satisfied. It's also about giving... giving her pleasure, of course, but also giving her me for her use.

It is also one of those very symbolic actions in a femdom D/s relationship that is just so powerful. Within the context of the dynamics of our relationship, there are small actions that bring the dynamics to life, and there are big actions that bring the dynamics to life. All of them are meaningful. But sexual service is one of those big actions. In part because of what she receives, and in part because the only expectation of gratification I have is the incredible energy she has when I'm serving her in this way, and the satisfaction of the sexual fulfillment I bring to her. My own release, when it comes, if it comes, if she allows it, is a bonus.

A few evenings ago, laying in bed, relaxing, we starting kissing gently. My locked wrist and ankle cuffs had already been put in place for the night, and as usual, my locked collar went on earlier that evening, pretty much as soon as it was determined I would not need to leave the house for the evening. The kissing was one of those end of the day thank-you-for-being-in-my-life-you-make-everything-better-I-love-you-so-much-let-me-kiss-you-now-in-case-I-fall-asleep kind of kissing. But tenderness was quickly replace by some tension, positive tension, and then tension became this wonderful wave of energy that came over us. Gentle contact of the lips gradually gave way to something much more passionate, much more intimate. And then between breaths, she pulled her head slightly away, she looked straight into my eyes, and then she said it... "I. Want. Sexual. Servitude."

I was still lost gazing into her beautiful eyes, still a little overstimulated from our kissing, when I realized what she'd asked me. And then I melted. I felt this wave of submission and surrender wash over me. Slowly, I moved around on the bed to assume a better position. And then, I did what I was asked...

Even within the context of everything we do, it was an exceptional evening. She could simply not get enough. Not nearly. She just needed everything I could give her, and more. And it's not like we had been quiet for a long time. The last day that I had not serviced her, and/or that we had not had sex, probably went back at least two weeks. But her hunger was palpable, insatiable, and I did my best to satisfy her time and again, never the same way twice. And her orgasms seemed like they were getting more intense each time we would add one more.

I never keep count, but recalling 2-3 orgasms one way, 3-4 orgasms another way, another 2-3 yet in another manner, we must have been closing in on ten, or had past ten, I don't know, when her body kept shaking for several minutes after she had reached her latest orgasm. In between, I kept gently caressing her to see whether I needed to go on or not. I would gently run my hand over her skin, sometimes briefly over erogenous zones, to see how her body would respond. Until the before-last orgasm, there was no hesitation... within a minute or two, she was hungry for more. As time went on, the down period extended a bit, but then there was that climax that left her shaking for perhaps 3 or 4 minutes, even after I'd stop the stimulation and switched to caressing.

But she needed one more after that, and that was to be the last. Good thing too... I thought she would hurt herself from her body trembling again for several minutes. No more stimulation, no more passes over erogenous zones, no more caressing... she was totally overstimulated.

I moved in for a hug. I held her in my arms as the trembling slowly quieted down. I could feel her heart beating against my chest, her breathing still a bit fast going by my ear, a drop of sweat coming off her head and landing against my shoulder, rolling down the upper part of my back. We stayed like this for a few minutes, although it felt like time had completely stopped around us, and then I gently laid her down on her side, on her side of the bed.

She really wanted to smoke after that, so we did. I then tucked her under the covers, and she was immediately asleep. The following day, referring to her falling asleep so qquickly after we were done, she said "I was such a guy..."

I always tremendously enjoy bringing my Goddess pleasure, and sexual service is always such a privilege for me. I must say that I went to sleep extremely satisfied myself. Satisfied from what I could bring to her... give to her... do for her.

P.S.: In case anyone is wondering, yes, my Goddess did allow me release in there, somewhere in the middle. It was absolutely mind-blowing, like it is everytime she allows it. But like usual, that was an unexpected bonus. But I had to get back to my Goddess. I might have been done for the night, but she wasn't. The evening was all about my Goddess... as it should be... as I live for.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

"So... what was your favorite part?" (E)

Drawing courtesy of http://malesubmissionart.com/

As my Goddess and I wind down after an extended play session, and I'm slowly coming out of subspace, we usually share thoughts about what has happened. Sensations, feelings, emotions, and almost inevitably, highlights.

Last Saturday was no different. As my Goddess shared in her last post, we had some powerfully intense times, and the range of activities she put me through was surpassed only by the range of those sensations, feelings, and emotions I went through. Through bondage, sexual service, nipple torture, flogging, CBT, paddling, and culminating with strap-on play, my headspace went from belonging to surrender, from submitting to her needs and desires to totally being hers for absolutely anything she wanted.

Each one of the activities and experiences was a highlight. I would have been fulfilled and overwhelmed with any one of them. The sequence and combination was a beautiful expression of her mood and desires of the moment, and a powerful expression of her dominance over me.

My answer to the question "so... what was your favorite part?" during the post-play maelstrom of thoughts, visions, feelings, and emotions running through my head, was the strap-on play. It always is. I cannot describe the intensity of what I feel when she takes me, from slowly penetrating me, to moving in and out rythmically and increasingly faster as her nails dig into my hips, to savagely banging her hips against my backside as she fucks me until she reaches orgasm. Just the mental playback is making me slip back a bit into subspace as I write this. The powerful symbolism of this expression of dominance and submission, of belonging and ownership, and of giving and surrendering to my Goddess remains for me the ultimate expression of our D/s selves.

But the real answer to the question is ultimately... her. She is the favorite part of our play... of our time together... of anything we do together... of my life. It's her attitude, her creativity, her mood, her voice, her touch, her teasing, her caring, her energy, her dominance, her love. If anyone has ever been blessed with the perfect partner, the perfect mistress, and beyond the D/s component of our relationship, the perfect soulmate and the perfect love, it is me.

My favorite part of what we did was you, my love. You were the best part of our play, just as you are the best part of my life.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Saturdays Rock (S)

Picture courtesy of http://malesubmisionart.com/
I took an amazing journey on Saturday never leaving the comfort of my bed or the loving arms of my beloved. I have an amazing boyfriend, lover, soulmate, best friend, and submissive in dymion. He trusts me completely, loves me unconditonally, and allows me to express myself however I wish. He is such a passionate partner, so honest, so expressive. One would never guess that a man that can let go and embrace his submissiveness so sincerely would also have such a talent for a bit of role reversal.

We aren't "switches". It is just an occasional deviation from our normal dynamics. Every six weeks or so I have the urge to step out of my comfort zone and into the sub role. Dymion is, as always, there to satisfy my craving. Allowing my dymion to top is a total turn on for me and a different kind of bonding experience for both of us (no pun intended). As much as I adore dominating him, I cannot express how awesome he is when we turn the tables. I could not stop climaxing...it was the voice, the movements, the teasing and torment. Totally hot... But also inspirational. After achieving orgasm #4, I was ready to retaliate for all the wonderful deviant things he had done to me.

Which brings me to phase two of that beautiful Saturday... revenge. There was bondage, strap-on play, spanking, CBT, and more. We got out the paddle, crop, flogger... I suddenly had visions of myself as a Hindu goddess with 6 arms flying. Unfortunately, in reality, I had to take it one stroke at a time. No matter, this interlude brought me to orgasm #6. Anxious to return the favor from earlier in the day, I had a lot of fun with the scene and certainly tried to make it memorable for my prince. I think I was successful.

Were we finished?... um... no. One must end with a bang... which we did. Orgasm #7. As mentioned in prior posts, another great talent that dymion posseses. Will the wonders never cease?

I can't imagine ever tiring of his sounds, his touch, the smell of his skin... all the beautiful parts of my prince. I want more for the next 30-40 years. I want every day to be like Saturday. In our golden years I have vowed to strap him to his wheelchair and continue all our beatiful rituals... I fully intend to fulfill that obligation.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Sugasm #169: Readings

Often, the next best thing to blogging is to read what other people blog about. Selena and I have had fun reading some of the links that appear in Sugasm from week to week, so to be fair to those folks, here is the latest collection, including one of our posts.

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #170? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Clothespin Communion “Surrender to the sensation.”
Remembering the Pain “And it really was that bad.”
Short And Sweet “Why don’t you turn over”

Sugasm Editor
Fetish Fridays: Financial Submission

Editor’s Choice
More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm
(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Evey Can Haz?
The Ghost of Sex Toys Past (Part One of Three)
“Boy, Girl, or In-between?” Princess Frida’s Fabulous Talk, and My Thoughts
“Work” Confession #297

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Busty beauty Jenny McClain
Flash Spanking Videos
Leighton Meester Sex Tape
Thrashed on their bared buttocks
Waiting for Tonight

Sex Humor
Fat Sex and Why It’s Good

BDSM & Fetish
Don’t Have Mercy on Me, Baby
Formalities, and, on second thought, greetings
The Going Away Present
He gave them pain like balm, and they begged him for it
High School Bully Part 3
Home Alone?
Mollena Williams added to 100 Divas
A Night In Bondage
Under instruction
The war of the sexes

Sex Poetry
At the movies….

News, Reviews & Interviews
The Independent lists “the ten best sex toys.” I fly into a rage.
Take Me Out to the Sapphic Sex Romp
Vibratex Pandora
The Wily Old Crocodile: An Interview with Eosuchus

Sex Advice
Anal Sex for Beginners
New At Sex Is Magazine: Foods That Enhance Your Sex Drive
Q&A with Dr.Ruthie - Asking for Better Sex
Starting At The Bottom: An Intro to Anal Play, Part 2

Erotic Writing & Experiences
Amber gives me a blowjob..in person!
From Behind
Its Morning…(The Last Time)
Just fucking.
A Matter of Taste
May i feel said he
New Man at the Lesbos Palace
The Problem with Thongs
The Raise
Randy: the new big cock
Stranger Fuck & Plough
Whore, Adulteress, Sinner
You can leave your hat on

Friday, July 10, 2009

Available for hurt (E)

Picture courtesy of http://malesubmissionart.com/

I think that one of the most magical parts of the D/s dynamics of our relationship is the constant high level of energy that it engenders, and the continual ebb and flow of power that inspires those little spur-of-the-moment acts of domination. Being available for hurt at any time, anywhere, is just such an intoxicating feeling...

Sitting on the floor at my Goddess' feet watching a movie, she reaches over to torment my nipples or puts her hands around my throat to gently make my breathing a little more labored...

Driving the car, my Goddess reaches across to dig her nails into the inside of my thigh and squeezes...

Discussing with friends at a munch, my Goddess pulls my arm a bit toward her and runs her nails up and down the forearm, leaving visible grooves in the skin for a few minutes.

Gentle good night kisses turning into long passionate kisses turning into sexual service, with or without interludes of CBT and nipple play.

Lying on the bed on my belly watching television before going to sleep, my Goddess comes over to sit on my back, and from there she proceeds to torment and torture my nipples, deeply scratches my chest, and leaves bit marks on my back and shoulders.

Md-afternoon naps rarely don't have me bound completely for a variety of little hurts and sexual servitude.

In fact, with paddles, floggers, nipple clamps, strap-on dildo, ropes, blindfolds, gags, and bondage gear in the bedroom, in addition to everything we have in our playroom down the hall, I never know what may transpire from going back to the bedroom, even for just a few minutes.

I often don't catch the end of movies we watch as I end up bound and blinfolded to a chair, or in subspace from some other delighful torments I suffer at my Goddess' hands.

There are just so many moments and so many intense experiences... I just couldn't possibly list them all... But they are wonderful parts of our days, all the more delicious for being unplanned and unexpected.

Don't get me wrong... I just melt when I feel (or I'm told) that my Goddess is in the mood and there's an extended session coming up that may last several hours. Each and everyone of them are so intense, so memorable, so life-affirming. And the anticipation for them has never diminished in all the time we've been together. But in between those powerful play times, the unforeseen, the unexpected, the inspired out of nowhere moments that come up daily, and sometimes several times a day, are an integral part of the magic of our dynamics, and they keep the energy level so high all the time.

Anytime... anywhere... in what ever manner she desires... I so love being available for hurt for my Goddess...

Friday, July 3, 2009

Let's Talk About Sex (S)

picture courtesy of http://malesubmissionart.com/
This is just one girl's opinion, but I don't understand the one night stand. How is this a satisifying experience? How can you enjoy such an intimate act with someone you don't know intimately. To quote Alicia Silverstone in "Clueless" when referring to her reasoning for maintaining her virginity, "You have seen how picky I am about my shoes and they only go on my feet."

Though it has always been wonderful between us, in the last few days I have had some amazing sexual experiences with my dymion. Though the act itself is immensely pleasurable, it is the level of closeness, the intensity of the love, and the ability to trust one another so completely that makes him the most awesome sexual partner I have ever had.

I am totally addicted. I always want more...I always want to be closer to him....I need to be closer to him. It is never enough. He proudly offers his sexual servitude to me anytime I want it. What a rush! How ever would someone get that thrill or that high when the deepest knowledge you have of your partner is what his/her favorite drink seems to be when at the bar (the place you just met him/her before ending up taking him home).

For me the appeal is truly the connection. Not to say that dymion is not a talented lover. He has such amazing hands, great reactions, and he knows exactly how to be just gentle enough or just rough enough at just the right times. However, that is part of that connection, the knowedge of one another's needs, and the desire to make your partner as satisifed with the experience as you are.

I would urge anyone considering a one-night stand tonight to step back and think about these things. If you really like sex that much, you are so desperate for the ultimate encounter, and feel in need of release from the sexual tension in your body....spend some quiet time at home taking care of yourself. Now that you have cleared your head, vow to find your "one". The person you can share all of your wants, needs, and fantasies with. Find that person and go absolutely crazy on one another. I promise you it is very much worth the wait.

Though dymion was unfortunately not my first, he is certainly my "one". He is the only man who has taken me to these levels of excitement and ecstacy. I attribute it to his selflessness, his commitment, his abilities, but most of all, the love we share together.

Sure, as lifestyle bdsm-ers we make it "spicy vanilla" with hints of sadism, submission, and mind play, but it is that love that makes him the best ever and the only one I could ever allow to touch me again in this lifetime. He is my sub and thus belongs to me, but I happily and with no apprehension allow him to hold my heart in his hands and take me to places I have never been.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

A night in bondage (E)

Drawing courtesy of http://malesubmissionart.com

A full night in bondage,
Lying next to my Goddess.
Locked collar around my neck,
Double-column rope tightly wound
Around my wrists and my ankles,
Nowhere to go but to remain
Silently bound right next to her.
She never wants me to leave her side,
and I never want to leave her side.
Symbolism made reality,
Reality brought to life from
Dreams and desires, wants and needs.
Deep satisfying sleep punctuated
By moments of intoxicating consciousness,
Warm touches and feelings of belonging.
Please my Goddess never let me go,
And I will never leave you,
For the bounds that tie me to you
Go far beond the physical,
Regardless of their manifestation
And expression in real life.
The morning came and sadly
So did release from the restraints,
Sweet sorrow to give them up,
Even if just for a few hours.
But throughout the day
I'll be thinking of you and I'll be missing you,
Constanstly reflecting upon
What we've become
And what we've yet to be.
The next moment of us being together
Is the only thing I can think about,
The only thing that drives me,
The sheer joy of seeing your eyes
And your smile, and hearing your voice,
And feeling your touch.
The bindings and the belonging never leave
Because our love for each other
And our faith in each other
Can never be taken undone.