Subspace awakening (E)

Image courtesy of Girls Rule, Subs Drool via Femdom Resource

I wake up this morning in a delightful subspacey daze. I spent the night serving as sleeping furniture for Goddess Selena, after our first “together” day in a while. What is a “together” day for us? No work, no obligations, “Coffee & Clamps!” in the morning, time at home where Goddess Selena keeps me collared and leashed and often at her feet when I’ll not on domestic duties, a late lunch date followed by some whimsical shopping and a movie, generally me doing things for her, and in between talking and laughing about everything in the world.

My subspacey awakening is intensified by the erotically D/s sensations and symbolism of the heavy leather collar locked around my neck, and the prospect of another, if different, “together” day. In those few seconds or minutes it takes to transition into consciousness and alertness, my emotional make-up of the moment brings about a torrent of flashbacks to the last time Goddess Selena let the phoenix of her dominance rise and consume both of us.

Image courtesy of Musings of a Mistress via Mistress Lilyana

After locking leather wrist and ankle cuffs on me, Goddess Selena strapped a blindfold around my head and ordered me on all fours on the bed. She quickly followed up with a long and increasingly stern caning that, about halfway through, had me break into a very light sweat, the unmistakable sign that I had crossed from the real world into subspace. I plunged further into the depths of subspace as she continued with another 30, perhaps 40 strokes from the two canes she was switching between every few dozen strokes. Satisfied with where she had taken me, Goddess Selena admired the colors and patterns of the marks she had etched on me, and ran her hands over my back to feel my quick, shallow breathing, the warmth and humidity of my skin, and the deep quiet moans coming from inside me.

Enjoying what she saw and felt, Goddess Selena wasted no time making changes to my bondage, and before I fully noticed the transition, I was restrained spread-eagle on our bed. Still blindfolded, her verbal teasing and humiliation made me focus on her voice as if I was looking at the sun from deep in a mine shaft. My attention shifted from the song of her dominant siren voice to the intoxicating aroma I rapidly recognized when she placed the panties she had been wearing that day over my nose. I took deep breaths, indulging in the powerful and sweet smell of Goddess Selena’s essence. I drifted ever deeper into subspace as Goddess Selena’s voice, her smell, and the sensations she felt like subjecting me to overwhelmed me.

Source: cdn-nl1.imagefap.com 

Images from the rest of our intimate D/s play time flash randomly, without order or sequence. Her nails digging into my nipples. Her lips touching mine so that she can exhale the drag she took from her cigarette. Her nails dragging and catching along the shaft of my semi-erect penis and the soft skin of my scrotum. Her orders to open my mouth when she needs to ash her cigarette. The tip of her lit cigarette brushing against my nipples. Her sitting on my hips, torturing my nipples, and riding my arched body until she reached orgasm. My back curving up as I react to the various exquisite sensations of pains she creates. My wrists and ankles straining against the locked leather cuffs and straps keeping me bound to the bed. The day-old panties still mostly over my nose. The images go back-and-forth as my emotional memories try to keep up.

I am back into the now. Now this morning. Locked heavy leather collar. Leash. Coffee and nipple clamps. Holding an ashtray while at her feet. Lots of affection and kisses. Catching up on house duties. Preparing for the week ahead.

Moments of our lives that slow down time as the memories bubble back to the surface of conscious thought…

Pull, by razriel. From Deviant Art. Found on Geek Domme and Mistress Lilyana.

Moment of the day: Etchings of desires (E)

Image courtesy of Cream & Sugar via Disenchanted Lullabies

It's very early in the morning, still dark outside. I've barely been awake for 60, maybe 90 seconds. I walk into the bathroom to start getting ready for the work day. I turn on the light over the mirror. As I wait for my eyes to adapt to the intensity of the light before opening them, I reach over with one hand to the area on the opposite arm just above the wrist. I feel ridges. Five of them. Rope marks... still etching my flesh from having my wrists bound over night. I slowly open my eyes as they are ready for the light. I now see the marks on the arm I am running my fingers over, and on the other arm reaching over. The rope marks are beautiful. I get that familiar feeling of warm-desperate-submissive-clingy-adoration for my Goddess inside me. For just a little while longer I will be able to see and feel the desire and will of my Goddess to make me hers... to keep me as her toy... to control her boy... to dominate her boy...

My Goddess bound my wrists the previous evening, as we sat down to watch television together. She loves using me as furniture as we watch TV, and she particularly enjoys doing that while there is an element of bondage present. In this case, I sat at the corner of the sofa after she bound my wrists together. She sat close against me, reclining on me, and my bound hands over and around her put me in a forced hugging-her-from-behind position for the duration of the time we remained in the living room.

We both so enjoy these moments of closeness, even more so because of the D/s elements added to them.

After a few hours, before we went to bed, my Goddess tightened the column tie for the night, making sure it was tight enough to be secure and inescapable, but not so tight it would cut circulation.

While we slept, I could feel her occasionally grabbing hold of the binding, pulling it close to her, simultaneously symbolically stating "Mine!", and reminding me I was under her control and that I couldn't go anywhere without her letting me go. And that's a feeling that I keep with me all the time...

Image courtesy of Slaves of the Goddess

New marks for the weekend (E)

Artwork courtesy of Vaview

The weekend came upon us, and my Goddess' marks on me from the previous weekend had faded out. You'll remember from a post two weeks ago, describing the intensely powerful experience we shared when she first used a hot pink Sharpie to mark me with words and symbols of possession and ownership, of her dominance and her love, she said my body would never again be without marks or etchings from her. Well, it was time to renew them...

My Goddess ordered me to lie down on my side of the bed after she placed a blindfold on me. She placed leather cuffs around my ankles, tied my wrists to the headboard of the bed, clipped my ankle cuffs together, and clipped those to the footboard of the bed. I was bound, immobilized, and vulnerable... just like my Goddess likes me. The wave of my Goddess' dominance washing over me, and being put in bondage and prepped for what was going to follow, started me drifting in subspace as that peaceful feeling brought about by the serenity of surrender set in. My Goddess went to her side of the bed to pick-up the Sharpie, climbed over me, and straddled my hips. Before getting down to her artwork, she couldn't resist teasing, hurting, and torturing my nipples. What she did felt so incredible... erotically pleasurable, deliciously painful, sensations that hurt so much but felt so good. One of those moments that I didn't think I could take any more but didn't want her to stop.

I felt my Goddess shift of her weight as she leaned over me, and then felt the sharp tip of the Sharpie against my skin. First of the left side of my chest, and then on the right side. The whole process took just 2 or 3 minutes, but they were delightful minutes of sensual anticipation. It's always special to have my Goddess sit on or against any part of me, and being the center of her dominant attention. But I also had visions of previous artwork my Goddess had drawn on me going through my mind, and I couldn't wait to find out what she was in the mood for.

The markings were done, and as has become the custom, my Goddess took a break to have a cigarette while she enjoyed her artwork. Her smoking time also included teasing me with her smoke, and a little bit of heat play with my nipples.

Once she finished smoking, my Goddess went to our toy cabinet, and I felt her return with the sting of one of the floggers. I gathered at that point she wasn't quite done leaving marks on me, although these would be of an entirely different nature. My Goddess started with the flogger on my thighs, and then moved up to my privates, albeit more gently, and then higher up on my mid-section and chest.

She paused for a moment, and released me partially from the bondage. My hands were untied from the headboard of the bed, and while she left my ankle cuffs clipped together, she unclipped them from the footboard of the bed, and she ordered me to turn onto my front. She then switched to a heavier flogger, and worked over my backside and back from a variety of directions with great sharpness and accuracy. The sensations and reactions from the flogging got us both into a climbing spiral of intensity. The strokes elicited increasing movements and moans from me, and that feedback fed my Goddess' lust to get more of them.

My Goddess interrupted the rising emotions by ordering me to go on all fours. Despite the light tapping my Goddess started with, I immediately recognized the heaviness of our rigid purple plastic cane. The warm-up didn't last very long, and hard sharp strokes were soon coming down on my backside, literally from one hip to the other. Totally lost in subspace, in my surrender to my Goddess' dominance, in the overwhelming sensations shaking me to my core, after maybe two dozen strokes I couldn't stay still receiving the blows my Goddess was giving me. Far from disappointing her, my squirming fuels her fire, and she won't stop until she is satisfied that I can't handle any more of what she's dishing out.

After a few strokes of the cane that almost caused me to roll over, my Goddess commented on the additional beautiful marks she had left on me, and I felt her soft and cool hand touch the warm flesh where she had exerted her dominance and power over. I laid down on my side, my mind lost in the depths of subspace. My Goddess sat on the bed close to me, removed my blindfold, and deeply looked into my eyes with love and ownership, and began to gently caress me.

Oh yeah... I almost forgot... the artwork. On the left side of my chest: Owned and Collared (5" X 5"). And on the right: "Selena", with a little heart underneath, and below that, "Her Pet" (5" X 6").

Miscellaneous time-keeping: coming up on 40 hours of wearing my locked leather collar... and almost as long wearing the ankle cuffs... despite 2 quick errands in public yesterday... good thing for cold weather. And of course, the locked chain has still not been removed... 28 days and counting.

Marks of love (E)

Artwork courtesy of Flat Earth Social Club

After the magic of being taken by my Goddess, we actually wound down for a bit before going to sleep. Post-play, a very special and intimate time for us when we check on each other, and talk about what happened and what it did for each of us, we started talking about belonging and ownership, and how strap-on play affirms and reinforces those feelings. It wasn't long before our discussion came back to the tattoo that she is planning on me getting in a few months' time.

As we both got gradually more worked-up about discussing a permanent marking for me that would be a tribute to the dynamics of our relationship and our love for each other, an idea suddenly popped into my mind. I asked my Goddess if she would want to mark me right now if she could, and she responded that she would. I followed up "Well, it would be only temporary for now, but I would so love it if you would", turned over to my bedside table, brought out a Sharpie with hot pink ink (the sudden idea... I remembered that it was there), and offered it up to her.

A beautiful, more than slightly evil smile came upon her, and I felt her excitement and her dominance (still super-high from the strap-on play) rise like a huge surf on the horizon. She took the Sharpie and pulled it away from me forcefully, and I felt her mind running through possibilities, and thinking about areas on my body to place her markings. After just a few seconds of thought, my Goddess, pushed my left shoulder down, jumped from her spot next to me on the bed, and mounted my hips. It was way too late already for me to take back my offer, but it was done in earnest, and I was more than delighted at her reaction.

As I looked up at her beautiful, mischievous face, I dipped back into surrender and subspace. There was something so erotic, so D/s, so "us" about my Goddess straddling my hips, leaning over me, and marking me to her liking with a permanent marker. As long as my skin didn't develop an allergic reaction to the ink...

The few minutes my Goddess spent marking me were absolutely sublime. In a different kind of way from usual, my body was the canvas for the expression of her dominance. I loved the pride she took in marking her toy, her pet, her possession. I was so excited to have my Goddess express her ownership of me in such a manner.

My Goddess finally, and sadly, finished her artwork. She spent some time on both the left side of my chest and the right. I loved the expression of satisfaction she had looking over what she had created, and I was dying to see it myself. She gave me permission to go to the bathroom to check out what she had done.

When I came up to the mirror, I think I skipped a breath when I saw the beauty and significance of what she had done. On the right side of my chest, my Goddess had drawn a padlock, with her initial on the lock, and with a chain running off each side of the lock. The whole drawing is about 3" X 1.5". On the left side of my chest, covering about 5" X 3", she wrote her name in heavy cursive letter, and drew a heart under it.

She wrote her name on me... she wrote her name on me... I think I'm still a little subspacey over it. I know it will happen again... my Goddess told me so this evening over dinner. She really enjoyed that. We both did... and we're still enjoying it today, despite some very slight blurring from wearing clothes over it.

Now, we're just waiting to see how long the artwork will last before it washes off...

The intimacy of being taken (E)

Artwork courtesy of Flat Earth Social Club

"Can I beat you up later?"

Hot, hot words from my Goddess while we were out having dinner... She looked beautiful, as always, and the smile she had across the table simply melted my heart... and got it racing... and started that magical feeling of anticipatory subspace...

I couldn't stop thinking too that she had been meaning to break open our new replacement strap-on for a while...

After dinner and a wonderful evening out together, we returned home where we relaxed by catching up on emails and fetish boards while watching some television. Then, rather suddenly, my Goddess told me I had to get ready... I had to get ready because I wouldn't be able to go anywhere once I returned. As subspace set-in, I started having flashbacks of different kinds of bondage and different positions, each one more vulnerable than the other for the pleasure of my Goddess.

I did return quickly, and my Goddess promptly requested that I bring the leather locking wrist and ankle cuffs, and a blindfold. My locking collar had been in place since our return home, and in a matter of a minute or two, the wrist cuffs were in place, locked, and clipped together, and so were the ankle cuffs. Shortly after, the blindfold was buckled over my eyes and my head, engulfing me deeper into subspace.

My Goddess ordered me to lie down on my back on the bed. Once I did that, she reached over to clip my wrist cuffs to a chain at the top of the headboard of the bed. She came over to the side of the bed I was on, teased my nipples a bit with her beautiful long nails, did some light, playful CBT, and returned to play with my nipples a little harder. She reached over to my bedside table to find one of our favorite lotions, and started spreading it and massaging it over my body, with a little more emphasis over my privates and my chest. A little more was used to lube my anal area as my Goddess tantalizingly teased me around the opening, and gently inserted a finger to spread the lotion inside. And then she left...

Ankles cuffed together, wrists cuffed together and chained to the bed, blindfolded, I was totally vulnerable to the mood and whims of my Goddess. These short interludes of mental isolation in bondage, even with the sounds of my Goddess scurrying about in the same room or the next, are always incredibly submissively erotic. The anticipation, the vulnerability, the headspace... I can never tell how long she's away from me. The enjoyment of the fall into deeper subspace offset by the desperate longing for my Goddess to return by my side creates a powerful tension that elevates the D/s energy several notches.

But return my Goddess did. She unclipped the ankle cuffs, moved onto the bed, and almost immediately I felt the tip of her strap-on press against my anal opening. The pressure increased gently and gradually, and I instinctively lifted my feet off the bed to give her what felt like a better angle. Within a few seconds, the head of the strap-on pushed through, and I had a first shudder run through my body. At that point I noticed that my Goddess had turned on the vibrating function, which always helps with the initial penetration. But somehow, it was still difficult for me to relax, and unintentionally, I was resisting her. My merciful Goddess, knowing my reactions and my abilities so well, gently pulled out, and tried again.

This time, I was hers completely. The breakthrough again sent a shudder through my body, and the strap-on truly felt like an extension of my Goddess. She was in a gentle and very sensual mood, and I felt that in the way she very gradually teased and pushed the strap-on all the way inside me. And it was inside before I had realized it, no small feat in view of the fact that this favorite strap-on of ours is 8.5", with a good width.

Once my Goddess had completely penetrated me, she began to focus more fully on herself. Her movements were gentle at moments, powerful at others. Long thrusts, fast thrusts, each brought out a moan or a reaction from me, which only served to excite my Goddess, and encouraged her to enjoy herself more. She changed the pace, changed the depth, and mixed in with the waves of subspace washing over me, was this huge dominant vibe coming from my Goddess that she was just so enjoying taking me.

After several minutes of this most intimate, and for me, powerfully symbolic of all femdom activities, I felt my Goddess hit terminal velocity. It's in the rhythm, the pace, the movement... just a groove that is inevitably leading her shortly to orgasm. At that point there was no gentleness... just deep, hard thrusts... faster and faster... until my Goddess reached a huge climax.

Awesome... just totally, fucking, awesome... After the peak of her climax, my Goddess leaned forward onto my chest while she was getting post-orgasm tremors. I could feel them with her body against mine, and I would have brought my hands down to hold her if they hadn't been chained over my head.

How can we describe the intimacy and the magic of scenes such as these? The powerful symbolism of my Goddess taking me... the intense sensations on both sides... the dominance and the surrender... Strap-on play is always so special to us. I would have it as part of our daily rituals, if there was any way we could handle it on a daily basis...

Later on, after my Goddess released me from my bondage and removed my blindfold, I cleaned up, and got her a snack as she requested (I can vouch for how hard she was working). Then just before we went to sleep, my Goddess once more clipped my ankle cuffs together, my wrist cuffs together, and clipped those to the chain dangling from the headboard of the bed. She told me to lie on my stomach, and I fell asleep bound, with my Goddess laying close to me, partly on my side and my back.

Marks of ownership and belonging (E)

Artwork courtesy of Flat Earth Social Club

Yesterday, my Goddess and I were trading loving and sexy texts on our cellphones throughout the course of the day, and some of the texts got incredibly, dominantly hot when they turned to the subject of ownership marks.

It all started innocuously enough, and then it quickly turned to the reminder that she plans on having me tattooed next year, something that we have talked about several times in the past. I can't describe how scorching hot the idea of my Goddess having me tattooed is.

And then, I had a few moments of subspace at work (thankfully, I was alone in my office at that time), thinking about the tattoo, and other incidental markings from our play... I was reminded of the very small but now almost permament marks on my ankles from our use of locked ankle cuffs... I was reminded of marks that stay a day or two after caning or paddling... I was reminded of scratches and bruises that I have from BDSM play, and what we refer to as "spicy vanilla" sex... I was reminded of my nipples, sore on most days... I was reminded of the collar marks around my neck that last for an hour or so each day after my Goddess removes my collar before I get ready for work, after it's been in place and locked for the previous 12 hours or more, since I had returned home the previous evening...

I had to get back to reality and the business at hand, but after sharing with my Goddess how much I was looking forward to the tattoo, I kept a subspace glow inside me all day. It made me feel wonderful inside that she wants me to wear such a mark for her, a sign of her ownership of me, and I so want to wear such a mark for her, a sign of my belonging to her.

The little (BDSM-y) things (E)

Artwork courtesy of Flat Earth Social Club... reminding me of moments when my Goddess calls me her toy...

I've enjoyed reading in the comments of the last few days how much some of you appreciate the value of the little things that make a relationship so special. At the same time, going back to my Goddess' posts, she is far too modest in the description and feelings of what she has done for me lately. So among all the little things she does that I enjoy so much, here are a few of the BDSM-oriented little things, most of which have only happened or come into their own in the last two weeks, that not only keep me in a constant state of intoxicated love and submissiveness to her, but increase my passion and addiction to her each and every day...

1. She wakes me up in the middle of the night with some NT and CBT because she needs me to provide her with sexual service...
2. She enjoyed me kissing her feet so much a few mornings ago, something that I did only when the mood seemed right, that she told me that kissing her feet was now a required part of our morning ritual...
3. She wakes me up in the middle of the night with some NT and CBT because... well, just because I'm there, and I'm her toy, and she feels like hurting me, and she wants to hear and feel my reactions...
4. She finds an opportunity every single day to pull me in by the leash very close to her and telling me "mine!"...
5. She decided that we couldn't have our weekend afternoon nap without me having some colors and and some marks on my bottom, so she warmed me up with a variety of paddles, and then used the cane until she was happy with her artwork...
6. She very rarely misses an opportunity to remind me of her control over me with some impromptu NT, regardless of where we are or what we are doing...
7. She always makes me feel that she enjoys the placing and locking of the leather collar on me each day, and me wearing the collar until the next time we leave our house, at least as much as I do...
8. And I just melt when, after she's locked the collar and I start pulling away slowly, she reaches over quickly to grab a hold of one of the D-rings, and she pulls me back in for a kiss... or two... or a dozen...
9. When she corrects me with playful dominant indignity that she's always right...
10. Anytime she pulls on my hair... just because...

When I'm missing her, "...I simply remember my favorite things..."

Marks of love/submission (E)

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