"... when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
-- When Harry met Sally

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
-- Carl Jung

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Purple Room - A Love Story (S)

Courtesy of deviantart.com
I have been debating for a long time whether to share the story of the Purple Room. It is deeply personal to me and my dymion, but for some reason I feel I need to share.

dymion and I had our first sexual encounter and the first taste of our bdsm lifestyle together in my old bedroom. The walls were a very dark shade of purple. We spent an entire weekend lost in each other in that Purple Room. We rarely came up for air and only separated for necessary RL stuff.

Since that time, our activities have escalated...limits have been pushed, mind blowing orgasms and emotional subspaces have been achieved, but it all began in that Purple Room. Moments like these, frozen in time, help me through the rough times we all encounter through our daily lives.

The Purple Room - now a state of mind for me - is always in my heart. It is a place to escape. I have never told him, but anytime I get super stressed I take myself back to one specific moment I remember vivdly. I was laying on the bed and he was standing over me. We were completely free of the constraint of clothes and I thought he was the most awesome sight. I couldn't wait to touch him, feel him, and experience an intimacy I had been longing for in the many weeks before. That moment started my whole new life with my love, my sub, my prince, my pet...my dymion. I think I knew then I would never be without him again.

It is good to appreciate those moments as we all take this highly sensitive and often misunderstood path. Regardless of those things you must hide from the people around you and the judgements that might arise, special times remind you of the sensations, excitement, and significance of the things that are really important.

So, this may not be my hottest post...I could make it hotter if I gave you the details of that first night in the Purple Room, but that isn't the point I wish to make. I just know that The Purple Room is something I will reflect upon until I am old and gray and quite frankly at 90 years old, I know it will spark the same feelings, the same excitement, and the same appreciation of my love. All hail purple!

Monday, September 28, 2009

New toys - part 1: pushing limits (E)

Artwork courtesy of
Flat Earth Social Club

Inspired by months of fun with my collar and leash, my Goddess has been wanting to get me a leash for my genitals. She figured that she would enjoy parading me around the house by it, and that it would allow her an extra measure of control over me when the mood came to her.

We hadn't really had much time to go shopping for non-essentials recently, but we did yesterday, and of course, looking to make her inspiration a reality was a temptation we couldn't resist. Among the very many things that we came across, we found a very cool C & B restraint with a D-ring that was just what my Goddess was looking for. And while it wasn't in the plans, little further browsing led to a 30" plexiglass/hard plastic violet cane also catching her eye.

While we often rush back home to try out our new finds, I had no thoughts of any immediate play while we were driving home until my Goddess told me she was in the mood for a nap with her best devilish smile. Remembering yesterday's pre-nap activities, I suddendly started feeling both a rush of adrenaline, and that feeling of my heart melting when my Goddess expresses her need for dominating me.

Once we got home, it didn't take very long before my Goddess had me in the C & B restraint, and attached a short leash to it. After also placing and locking my traditional collar around my neck, she pulled on the leash attached to the C & B restraint, and led me around the bedroom in a flagrant and oh-so dominant manner. Proud, satisfied, with a wicked smile reflecting her power over me, my Goddess was having entirely too much fun at that moment...

The walk ended when she had me climb back onto the bed, and attached the short leash to the top of the headboard of the bed... a new position for us. I was kneeling on the bed facing the wall, and the shortness of the leash attached to my genitals did not allow me to do much else, such as sitting back or going on all fours. While realizing my vulnerability in this new position, my Goddess came up behind me and placed a blindfold over my eyes, multiplying many-fold my sense of vulnerability. A slight gasp escaped me, and as subspace further came over me, she quickly tied my hands in front of me to the top of the headboard. I had very little room to move...

Predictably, my Goddess could not help herself from reaching for the new cane right away. She was evidently gentle with it at first, but its heft and its focused contact area were most definitely felt. After a few strokes on each side of my backside, she switched to other tools, but to be perfectly honest, I couldn't tell which ones with certainty. In a vulnerable and not very comfortable position, hands and genitals bound, and without sight, her first round with the cane already made me break into a light sweat, a tell-tale sign that limits were on the horizon... I was already deep into subspace, and she had barely started...

I think that the crop was next, and I'm pretty sure I remember the hard paddle, but I can't say how much of each. It did not take my Goddess much time to increase the intensity, and the strokes were coming down heavy. I felt the tug of the leash on every stroke from whatever movement I made in reaction. Mixed into the subspace, the physical sensations, and the overwhelming sense of surrender were the vibes I could feel coming from my Goddess that I can only describe as the joy and satisfaction of her dominance. The most intoxicating feeling in the world is the one I get when I feel her enjoying herself through me.

There was a brief pause, and as I was barely gathering my thoughts again, my Goddess lit a cigarette and tossed the lighter onto one of the bedside tables. Whether one would call it a gesture of superiority, defiance, empowerment, or total control, I could feel her dominance just in the noise that the lighter made hitting the table. She came back over to my side of the bed, blew a drag of smoke toward me, and resumed with the violet cane. Single harder strokes on one side and then the other, mutiple short strokes aiming for the same spot, going back to harder single strokes alternating sides, my Goddess kept at it until my backside had colors that satisfied her and showed memorable marks, and my reactions made her happy.

On my side, my limits were getting closer and closer. I broke into yet another light sweat. My movements were getting a little more accentuated, despite my best efforts. And yet, I didn't want to give up. I wanted to give her everything I had, everything I could, everything I was. Instead of trying to relax to deal with the pain my Goddess was inflicting upon me, I focused on relaxing to get into the waves of pain, to ride them, to enjoy them. I think this allowed me to go a little further than I had in the past. But the moment of the end came, without me being able to control it, when the last impact made my body jerk a little extra, and I toppled from my kneeling position, twisting off to the side because of the bondage.

My Goddess had gotten what she wanted...

Sunday, September 27, 2009

The little (BDSM-y) things (E)

Artwork courtesy of Flat Earth Social Club... reminding me of moments when my Goddess calls me her toy...

I've enjoyed reading in the comments of the last few days how much some of you appreciate the value of the little things that make a relationship so special. At the same time, going back to my Goddess' posts, she is far too modest in the description and feelings of what she has done for me lately. So among all the little things she does that I enjoy so much, here are a few of the BDSM-oriented little things, most of which have only happened or come into their own in the last two weeks, that not only keep me in a constant state of intoxicated love and submissiveness to her, but increase my passion and addiction to her each and every day...

  1. She wakes me up in the middle of the night with some NT and CBT because she needs me to provide her with sexual service...
  2. She enjoyed me kissing her feet so much a few mornings ago, something that I did only when the mood seemed right, that she told me that kissing her feet was now a required part of our morning ritual...
  3. She wakes me up in the middle of the night with some NT and CBT because... well, just because I'm there, and I'm her toy, and she feels like hurting me, and she wants to hear and feel my reactions...
  4. She finds an opportunity every single day to pull me in by the leash very close to her and telling me "mine!"...
  5. She decided that we couldn't have our weekend afternoon nap without me having some colors and and some marks on my bottom, so she warmed me up with a variety of paddles, and then used the cane until she was happy with her artwork...
  6. She very rarely misses an opportunity to remind me of her control over me with some impromptu NT, regardless of where we are or what we are doing...
  7. She always makes me feel that she enjoys the placing and locking of the leather collar on me each day, and me wearing the collar until the next time we leave our house, at least as much as I do...
  8. And I just melt when, after she's locked the collar and I start pulling away slowly, she reaches over quickly to grab a hold of one of the D-rings, and she pulls me back in for a kiss... or two... or a dozen...
  9. When she corrects me with playful dominant indignity that she's always right...
  10. Anytime she pulls on my hair... just because...

When I'm missing her, "...I simply remember my favorite things..."

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Thank You To Our Readers (S)

Artwork courtesy of deviantart.com

I got some very nice comments on my last blog entry and I wanted to say thank to all of you. For dymion and myself, it is nothing short of awesome to share our experiences with those who care to read. As with many of you, dymion and I have RL challenges that require us to maintain secrecy surrounding our dynamics. When you have something so magical you often want to scream it from highest tower, but unfortunately, circumstances simply don't allow it. Knowing others understand our journey is quite a comforting feeling. Please know many of you inspire us just as much as you have said we inspire you.

Friday, September 25, 2009

My Loving Submissive: He takes care of me (S)


My pet has written many beautiful things about me in recent entries and our readers’ comments have been very gracious and complimentary as well. I felt compelled to interject some modesty into these ongoing conversations.

Lately, I haven’t felt like the best Domme for my prince and pet, dymion. I took him on a long vacation that didn’t give us a lot of opportunities to play. Upon returning to our home, I came down with an illness that has made me a little less active and awfully needy. He deserves so much more attention than he has gotten from me the last couple of weeks.

But, these times do allow for a greater appreciation of our overall dynamics. I am so thankful to have my pet right by my side through all my bad days as well as my good. I am flattered that he still finds inspiration in our activities when they have been very few and far between lately.

I realize that I am very lucky to have someone in my life that finds the sexiness in being forced to watch Dancing with the Stars with me. By the way, I must share that there were a few moments where I fell asleep and he had to later brief me on the parts that I missed proving he truly was paying attention because he knew it was important to me.

I felt safe when, during my illness, he tucked me into bed, brought me things I wanted in the middle of the night, got me coffee in the wee small hours of the morning when I couldn’t sleep anymore, and the list goes on and on. He is truly on call for me no matter what.

So down time can be good for a D/s relationship. You discover you are truly happy just being physically together, glancing at one another out of the corner of your eye, and holding hands as you drift off to sleep. This is when you realize how real and genuine the relationship truly is. We may not be rock stars in a 3-hour scene every night, but little events…little gestures…little thoughts and appreciations…all these things keep healthy relationships such as ours charged and ready go.

He is there because I am his Goddess and he is my pet. He is there because we are in love and know that at any moment just around the corner a new adventure could begin. It is an awesome way to live your life. I am not that type of Domme that feels that my sub should kiss my feet because I allow him in my life (though it is pretty hot when he does). I am the type of Domme that recognizes that same fortune in finding him and appreciate every bit of submission he offers and every bit of love he expresses. What we have is real, genuinely hot, and deeper than any relationship I have ever experienced in my life. My fantasies truly only consist of him. I dream of no one else. He will always be mine. I can’t be without him and luckily I suspect he feels exactly the same way.

Anyway, I wanted to take just a moment to say how much I appreciate my dymion and all he does for me, but I also wanted to send much warm gratitude for all those who read and comment on our blog. It is a great feeling to share with others and also to read your thoughts and feelings. We are an elite group of people who have discovered a magical lifestyle and I think we should all feel fortunate to be on this journey with our partners.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

The collar - redux (E)

Artwork courtesy of
Flat Earth Social Club

Being a proudly collared submissive...

Being kept locked in my leather collar every moment that my Goddess and I are alone, away from the eyes of others... unless with others that share similar interest in D/s and BDSM activities...

What does the collar represent? What does it mean?

In simple terms, it is a reflection of the flow of the D/s nature of our relationship. And obviously, the fact that we engage in a relationship that is power-oriented. Power-oriented in the context of domination and submission. Not only sexual D/s, but relational D/s.

I think that it reflects a deep sense of trust and commitment between my Goddess and I. Trust to give myself to her, mind, body, and soul. Commitment from me to support, serve, please, fulfill, explore, and surrender to my Goddess. Commitment from her to support, take care of, push limits, fulfill, discover, and take the lead.

It reflects a tangible sense of my belonging to her, and my Goddess' ownership of me, and the emotional comfort we find in each other through such dynamics.

It reflects a commitment to the expression of an alternative sexuality. Not better, not worse, than whatever is the norm, whatever may be called the norm. Just transcending traditional sexuality into something that permeates every aspect and every moment of our lives together.

It reflects an open expression of kink in both of us, an acceptation of our nature, our desires, our fantasies, our needs, and our selves.

Finally, it reflects my intense desire to do all that I can for my Goddess, that I always want to be in her presence, that I want to belong in her life and belong to her. And I hope it also reflects her wish and desire always keep me that close in her life, and never to let me go.

And besides all that, it's just fucking hot for both of us when my Goddess grabs, tugs, or pulls on my collar or leash to bring me closer to her, or because she wants something...

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Forced to watch... for her pleasure (E)

Artwork courtesy of
Flat Earth Social Club

"Dancing with the Stars" started its new season this week. Now this may have been exciting for some people, and left others indifferent. But it turned out to be important to me because it was important for my Goddess. She's a big fan of the show, you see... so that meant I was going to watch it, whether I wanted to or not. My Goddess was going to make sure of that...

Well before the first night, it was made clear to me that we were going to enjoy the show together. So when the big night arrived, my Goddess tied my hands, ordered me onto the bed as she pulled me up my leash and collar, had me lean back against pillows proped up next to the headboard, and used me as her recliner. She sat between my legs, leaned her naked back against my chest, and made herself comfortable on this improvised piece of furniture.

My bound hands were placed in front of her, creating a wonderfully natural hug. The warmth and softness of her body against me, the vulnerability of my immobilization, the weight of her upper body pressing on me, the aromatic fragrance of her hair right next to my face, my erection trapped against her occasionally shifting lower back, and her dictating how we were to spend the next two hours of the evening, all made for a very sensually submissive experience for me. Shortly before the end of the show, my Goddess fell asleep on me for a while, and that made for a short bout of subspace, as my position and my desire not to wake her put me in a completely helpess predicament.

Watching the second evening's show was very similar, apart from the fact that my Goddess left my hands unbound, which allowed me to caress her skin and play with her hair. And a little past the halfway part of the show, this gentle objectification had turned her on to the point that she wanted some sexual service, which I was quite happy to provide. From my position behind her, I caressred and teased her breasts with one hand, and I reached over to her most intimate parts with the other hand, and twice brought her to climax.

Today, my Goddess was not feeling well, so we did not engage in any play, and I had quiet evening of domestic servitude, but as I tucked her to sleep after the show, my Goddess still found the energy to remind me of something that is such an important part of our D/s dynamics, and that I never tire of hearing. As I pulled away from a gentle good night kiss, she grabbed the leash, pulled me close to her, looked me into the eyes, and gently whispered "mine, mine, mine, mine, mine..."

Ball-gag on an early, early morning interlude (E)

Artwork courtesy of Flat
Earth Social Club

The pain from the CBT just seared through my body and brought me quickly into consciousness despite being completely in the dark. It felt like I'd just gone to sleep. But my Goddess is leaning over me, hungry, dominant, indifferent to interrupting my sleep. She wants me... my reactions to the pain she's inflicting... my service to her wants and needs...

Well warmed up by the NT and CBT that she is so adept at, I am clearly expected to bring her pleasure. Already mentally in a cross-over state of sexually excited subspace, I gasp when my Goddess mounts me, and moves herself toward the top of my torso. She continues until her lower legs pin down my biceps, her hands reach the headboard of the bed, and then she lowers herself over my face, which is slightly elevated and forced forward because of the pillow under my head.

The fragance of her intimate parts... the vulnerability of the confinement... her forceful and determined course of action... my head is spinning, drunk from bathing in her dominant desires.

I provide her sexual servitude fast and hard, uncontrollably driven by my own hunger. But it still doesn't seem to be fast enough and hard enough. She reaches down with one hand to pinch my nose shut as she forces herself down lower on me. Frantically I accelerate the pace. I feel her fall into that terminal groove. I still go faster and harder, starting to feel that I may not be able to remain without air that much longer. Explosively, she reaches climax... she lets go... I gasp... I breathe... she sits back on my chest... warm... wet... trembling... But my Goddess is not done yet.

I know I'm in trouble when my Goddess reaches for the ball-gag. She wants to keep all those little sounds I make just for her... softly muffled for no one but her to enjoy. With the new sound effects available to her, she sits back lower near my hips and begins a new round of NT. She shares with me her objective... the whimper. She wants me to give up the whimper she finds so delicious, so exciting. So she teases and torments and tortures me, pushing me deeper into subspace as she increases the intensity of the NT. She will not stop until I give it up. But it isn't very long before my Goddess gets satisfaction. She gets her whimper, which comes out of me completely out of my control. Once more, her dominant desires will get anything she wants out of me.

In the last act of the play, I am granted release, which she wanted to feel as much as I needed it. After a brief clean-up, I realize I had been sleeping for barely two hours before this interlude. I lie down in bed again, my Goddess snuggles up close, her head on my chest, and we fall deeply asleep, until the sun was up high above the horizon and made the bedroom too bright to sleep in anymore.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Time to wake up (E)

Picture courtesy of Flat Earth Social Club

I wake up with my back arched, sharp pains coming from my nipples. My Goddess' sharp nails are at work on the nipple on the left side, her teeth are digging into the nipple on the right, and a loud moan escapes me, desperately, uncontrollably.

She woke up early and with her pet sleeping next to her, she cannot resist the temptation to play, to see what kind of reactions she can get from me while consciousness has yet to bring me into the new day.

The alternating NT and CBT draw me into a heavy fog of subspace as I fight to open my eyes. Even once I do, nothing comes into focus, overwhelmed by the sensations running through my body. I feel the waves of her pleasure and satisfaction, smiling at the control she exerts over me.

My Goddess brings her face right up to mine, the power of her dominance as tangible as the sensations she is causing. She reaches up to my collar, pulling my head right to the side of her own, her hair covering my face. Erotically, sensually, dominantly, she whispers into my ear but a single word...


Sunday, September 20, 2009

Collar and leash: follow-up (E)

Artwork courtesy of Flat Earth Social Club

It had been just a few days without the restraint of the collar and leash, but after barely 8 hours of wearing them, I am realizing the spell my Goddess weaves through them, and the power she holds by association.

For hours I've found myself reaching up and feeling the soft but ungiving texture of the material in which I am bound. I tug on the clip of the leash. I run my fingers past the D-rings to the locking buckle. I gently test the strength of the padlock in place. Nothing gives...

The collar is completely secure... I am totally captured... Prisoner of my Goddess' love and dominance... Hers totally... Hers forever...

Helpless to do anything about it, I am trapped within our home, trapped by her will and desires. The more I feel it, the more vulnerable I feel. A brief sense of panic shakes me, but it is replaced by a familiar and addictive tension that rises within me, as does a sweet surrender to the power of my Goddess.

I have a hard time keeping my hands away from the collar... I touch it, I feel it, I sense its unyielding strength around my neck. I have difficulty focusing as I softly drift in and out of subspace. Even with my Goddess a few rooms away, I feel her dominance cover me in its veil, engulf me, envelope me.

I will be off to bed soon, where my Goddess is already sleeping. Just lying next to her creates a feeling of intoxication. Just the anticipation of lying next to her creates that feeling of anticipation. And how magical will it feel when my Goddess unconsciously senses my presence in the bed, turns over to my side, runs her hand up my chest in her sleep, takes hold of the front D-ring of the collar with her index finder, and continues her night's sleep with me in her control?

The feeling of her ownership is tangible. I am her servant... her pet... her playtoy... hers to do as she will... under her spell...

The magic of the collar and leash (E)

Artwork courtesy of http://www.femdomartists.com/

One of life's lessons is that we never truly know how special something is until we lose it, or until we must live without it for a little while.

The ritual of my Goddess keeping me in locked collar at all times when we are at home has always been one of great significance for the two of us. We've felt intensely its symbolism, reflecting the special D/s dynamics of our relationship, demonstrating the power of her dominance over me and my submissiveness to her, and her ownership of me and my belonging to her.

Life circumstances brought an end to a very long streak of days (triple-digits) when I wore my locked collar for 10-12 hours a day or more, and almost around the clock on days-off. Not to worry... nothing serious... just RL obligations. But within just a day or two, the absence of the collar was powerfully felt by both of us. While I wore my mainstream-passable ceremonial collar from my collaring throughout, the heaviness, the restraint, and the inescapability of the very BDSM-looking leather collar with D-rings and locking buckle with lock (to which my Goddess keeps the keys in her possession or hidden) I wear at home was very much missed.

There wasn't any leash attached to me either, which my Goddess clips to the front D-ring, and tugs on any time she requires me for something. The leash limits my mobility, gives my Goddess a tangible sense of my physical presence even when I'm not in the same room, and is an immediate call to service, all elements that made us miss our regular home routine even more.

Needless to say, the pull of the ritual intensified as the days went by, and upon the return to our normal lives, the collar quickly went back on, and the leash was clipped on immediately thereafter. Now my Goddess is napping while I am busy with domestic servitude, and I am awaiting the tug that will mean that she desires me by her side once more.

Somehow, the magic of the collar and leash returning is one of those little things that makes us feel like everything is right with the universe again... At least within the context our D/s relationship and the extraordinary feelings we have for each other...

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Special moments on another stop-over (E)

Artwork courtesy of www.femdomartists.com

Not much time this morning, so all you get is this report format.

Ravenous dominant hunger emanating from my Goddess...

My hands-tied to the headboard, vulnerable to her hands and her whims...

My Goddess sitting on my stomach, enjoying my every squirm and moan from the NT...

Ordered on all fours, a warm-up with the crop, the flogger, and the flexible paddle, my Goddess enjoying the patterns, warmth, and colors she drew from my backside...

The hard paddle almost dropped me, my Goddess so enjoyed getting such surrender from me...

The cane did drop me, temporarily, my Goddess' will and desires triumphant over my mind and body...

My Goddess taking me with the strap-on, using me for her pleasure, fucking me as she pleased until she reached climax and slumped over me...

The night in bondage, struggling, helpless, but so happy in submission and belonging to my Goddess...

Domination and submission... pain and pleasure... ownership and belonging... two souls in sync... two hearts in love... another stop-over on an extraordinary journey...

Friday, September 11, 2009

I can never get enough of... (E)

Picture courtesy of http://malesubmissionart.com/

I can never get enough of her touch, of her gaze, of her voice, of her warmth, of how she smells, of how she tastes...

I can never get enough of her tenderness, of her affection, of her mischeviousness...

I can never get enough of her wit, of her charm, of her humor, of her intelligence...

I can never get enough of her energy, of her sexyness, of her eroticism, of her hunger...

I can never get enough of her enjoyment of me, of her wanting to hurt me, of her dominance...

I can never get enough of how she makes me feel, of how she makes me feel like I belong to her and yet am the most precious thing in the universe to her...

I can never get enough of her time, of her attention, of her care, of her love...

Sorry... just one of those days where I'm overflowing with love and emotions for my Goddess, and I wish I could broadcast to the entire world what I'm feeling inside. I am so totally addicted to her, and I never want that to change...

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Weekend report (E)

Artwork courtesy of the great Laurent Lebeau

"So, please stand by... He will be ordered to share a full report with our readers on Tuesday morning. Wish me luck... or better yet, wish HIM luck. It will be one long, adventurous ride."
-- My Goddess' last post before the weekend.

I will take it, in view of the fact that I completed only yesterday my last post on the start of the weekend, that my Goddess has generously given me a little more time to come up with my weekend report. So before I disappoint her any further, here is a quick rundown of the activities of the weekend, not counting our usual rituals and the 24/7 dynamics of our D/s relationship.
  • Spanking: crop, flexible paddle, hard paddle, cane.
  • Strap-on and anal play.
  • Oral service.
  • Breath play.
  • Sexual servitude.
  • CBT... lots of it.
  • NT... even more of it.
  • Foot worship.
  • BDSM munch.
  • Private play party.
  • Release for me... twice.
  • Many, many, many orgasms for her.
  • Spent every single second together, or in the immediate vicinity.
And among the many things that made this an absolutely mind-blowing weekend, my Goddess has developed a real fetish for me keeping my leash on while we made love. The additional sense of control she had with it excited her to no end, and I could feel her dominance rise every time she tugged on the leash or pulled me in toward her.

My Goddess simply makes me feel like the luckiest man (submissive?) in the world. And I love her beyond description for that, and for so many other reasons...

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

The start of the long weekend - part 3 (E)

Drawing courtesy of
Zimmerman and

My Goddess ordered me to turn onto my back. She had just had two powerful orgasms, and she moved up alongside me for some tender touches and caresses. I blown away by the sexual and dominant energy I was feeling from her, and an intense vibe that she wanted more, that she needed more. Even with the blindfold on, I could feel and smell the moisture from her skin, and the warmth and wetness of her intimate parts. I couldn't help but to beg my Goddess to taste her, to service her, to bring me as close to that moisture and warmth as she could, and she was more than happy to oblige.

She straddled my waist, and rapidly moved her way up until she covered my face. Her sweet fragrance totally enveloped me, and my first taste of her was, like it usually is, just magical. My Goddess, already excited and empowered by an extensive spanking session and pleasuring herself by taking me, was forceful and in no mood to be patient. She smothered me as I began to lap at her clitoris, and she pushed down with her weight as if I wasn't working hard or fast enough. I caught breaths in-between her pushes and her movements, limited in my own movement by her knees over my forearms. We worked up a hectic pace as she fell into a new groove, and once the inevitable climax started appearing on the horizon, my Goddess pinched my nostrils, getting me to work frantically to bring her a powerful orgasm even more quickly. She was in total control.

My Goddess' orgasm was tremendous, for her as well as for me, and I gasped for air as she let me breathe again. It was incredible to feel her contractions and her trembling from so close. She sat back on my chest for a minute to recover, and before her shaking had stopped and her breathing returned anywhere close to normal, she moved up to cover me again for more of the same. In a matter of just a minute or two, another huge climax threw her body into waves of contractions and shudders, and she collapsed backwards over my torso, making me feel her heartbeat and her heavy breathing against my stomach.

As my Goddess returned to reality, she told me that she wanted one more thing from me... a whimper. The rare and unusual sound of my whimper from a few days ago had excited her to no end, and she so wanted to hear it from me again. She sat upright on my chest once more, and immediately reached for my nipples. I was physically and emotionally drained from the spanking, the anal play, and the oral service, but I could not fake a whimper even if I knew how. As I totally belong to her, "the whimper" also belongs to her, as she is the only one who can extract from me. And so she attacked my nipples fiercely and intensely, and before I knew it, or knew how she did it, there it was, meak, high-pitched, and deeply, deeply satisfying to her. Behind the darkness of the blindfold, I could just imagine the wicked smile that my Goddess would have looking down at me.

She slumped forward, pushed herself down my body, and rested her head on my upper chest as we both laid there, almost immobile, totally bound together in domination and submission, and in the lastest adventure our journey has brought us on.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

The start of the long-weekend - part 2 (E)

Image courtesy of

A few moments of reprieve followed. By the time I began to gather my thoughts in reality, I heard my Goddess making some familiar preparations. She took a short break to smoke by herself next to me as I laid on my front on the bed, still attached by my collar and the chain to the headboard. Missing the sight of my beautiful Goddess indulging in smoking without me being able to see her, without being able to enjoy the mannerism that make it such a strong fetish element for me. was torture in itself.

As my Goddess finished her cigarette and got up, the sounds I was hearing made it evident that there was going to be another part to our play time, and that it was going to involve some anal play. The snap of her favorite bottle of lotion opening, the click and hum of the vibrator as she was testing it, the delicate sound of her rubbing lotion on it... all of them caused a familiar tingle inside of me that my Goddess was intent on either taking me, or putting me through some anal torture/play for her satisfaction.

She ordered me back on all fours, and proceeded to preparing me for what was to come. A gentle dab around my opening gave me a shiver, and I gasped as she penetrated me with one of her fingers, carefully spreading the lube all around inside me as far as she could reach. I could not help but to start coordinating my breathing and some moans with her movements. My Goddess then pulled out her finger, and positioned herself in a way that would both give her access to me and provide her with the pleasure she was hungry for. Gently she penetrated me with the vibrator, the one with the largest diameter we have (a good medium girth, maybe 1.5 - 2 inches), and turned it on, helping it slide in gradually but firmly.

My Goddess' assertion of power during the penetration part was intoxicating, her dominance palpable, and her desire for her own pleasure overwhelming. Despite the gentleness with which she does belies the fact that she is in total control, and my surrender to her complete. Once in fully, the pace of her movements quickened, and the amplitude of her movements increased in a very determined way. The sensations created fireworks worth of feelings and emotions, and behind the blindfold, a variety of visuals of femdom poses of power flashed through my mind.

Within a short period of time, my Goddess found her rythm of resonnance, and then there was nothing to stop her. Faster... harder... deeper... pulling me into her, buidling the crescendo into a massive climax for her, and leaving me lost in the intense sensations and flow of dominant energy she was externalizing. As she was still trembling from her orgasm, she laid over the top of my back, and we both started to catch our breaths as our heart rate started slowing down.

Unbelievably, my Goddess still wasn't quite done, and backing up a bit away from me on the bed, she pleasured herself with another vibrator as she keep playing with the one that was still inside me, building up again incredible sensations in me. It took just a short while for her to reach climax once more, and in this new variation on a theme, I enjoyed immensely enjoyed being in such a manner. I just can't get enough of any play that inspires and provides my Goddess with such pleasure.

Friday, September 4, 2009

The start of the long weekend - part 1 (E)

Artwork courtesy of

I so love that woman...

The excitement running through me after reading my Goddess' blog entry was overwhelming. True to her word, she couldn't wait to get our "days-off" started, and we did so with a wonderful romantic dinner at one of my favorite restaurants. As delightful as that was, she couldn't wait to take me back home, and I couldn't wait either. We had many things to celebrate...

Upon our return home, I promptly provided my Goddess with the icy, cold beverage she requires at all times, and in no time flat, I was naked, my collar was placed around my neck and locked. She ordered me onto the bed, straddled my hips, and she began with some NT, only stopping after a few minutes to put a leather blindfold on me. The last view I had was the intoxicating view of her beautiful face with her eyes nearly closed as the power of her dominance over me and the enjoyment of my pain was rising inside of her. The celebrations were about to continue...

After another minute or two of NT, my Goddess ordered me to get on all fours, and she clipped my collar to a chain that she had attached to the top of the headboard. I was now without sight, and limited in my movements. As I sank deeper into subspace, my Goddess announced that we were about to begin the spanking, and clearly, she had a specific number in mind...

The very first stroke came down unexpectedly hard. I view of the number of strokes that were coming, I had thought that I would benefit from a bit more of a warm-up, but my Goddess was not in the mood for a warm-up (she rarely is), and well... that's obviously her call. After another 3 or 4 strokes, the last of those really, really hurting, my Goddess cooed in the most dominantly playful and evil tone of voice "I guess I should have warmed you up, uh? ... Nah...".

I remember the flexible paddle, the hard paddle, the crop, and the cane, and there might have been more... I just couldn't tell in the maelstrom of my subspace, her dominance, and overwhelming sensations. My Goddess changed implements every 5 or 6 strokes, bringing each grouping of strokes to a crescendo that really hurt and made it difficult for me to keep my position. I would have dropped to my knees more than once, if I hadn't already been on my knees. I nearly collapsed to the bed as she built up to each one of those peaks. Three of the peaks led me to break-out in a sweat, a tell-tale sign that my limits were being pushed.

As my Goddess was nearing her objective for the evening (as is our ritual, I called out the stroke number as it landed), she switched back to the cane for the last few strokes. In part because she wanted to end in a spectacularly intense manner, but also because she was still delighted with one of the earlier strokes she had given me with the cane, a stroke that immediately drew a beautiful welt she found most satisfying.

She finished her count with the cane, and I was deeply, deeply into subspace, mentally floating peacefully on a calm sea without waves, despite the intensity of the sensations and the incredible flow of dominant and submissive energy going back and forth. But my Goddess was far from done...

P.S.: And this morning, as I was writing most of this entry, I was having the most powerful mental and visual flashbacks, with erotic and deeply submissive feelings swirling inside of me. I was also deeply in withdrawal, fighting hard against the temptation to run over to my Goddess, interrupt her sleep, and beg her, plead with her, to do it all over again.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Our Days Off Are Here! (S)

Photo courtesy of Mistress CJ on photobucket

I am so excited returning home from work tonight. I keep thinking I have FOUR WHOLE DAYS with my pet. This is our first Labor Day weekend living together. I am most honored to have a plaything offering himself to me during my time off.

This is my tentative menu:
Romantic Dinners, Leash and Collar for hours on end, lots of sexual servitude, constant waiting on me hand and foot, definitely some spanking action, bondage nightly, and taking him at my every whim. Of course, I am sure other things will arise that will blog worthy.

Most importantly, we will be spending EVERY WAKING MINUTE together. We are inseparable, my pet and I. I need him there to cater to me, play with me, and above all else, love me in any way I see fit.

So, please stand by...He will be ordered to share a full report with our readers on Tuesday morning. Wish me luck...or better yet, wish HIM luck. It will be one long, adventurous ride.

Quotes: reflections and understanding (E)

Image courtesy of Ugari
and the Museum of Femdom Art

"Slavehood is a vocation, comparable and equal in every way to any religious calling."
-- J. Mikael Togneri in Spirituality In Slavehood

"There are rituals of lust and joy and pain and fear. These, forced to extremes, meld in the mind, and in that melding they may make or dissolve our egos, bodies, or spirits."
-- Raven Greywalker (Lilith)

"The BDSM ritual may be predominantly sexual in expression, however the goal is not gratification per se, but ecstasy. BDSM is, above and beyond a physical need, the psyche's effort to make sex a sacrament. Only through the understanding and acceptance of the sacramental value of submission will slavehood be true. By the same token, of course, it also becomes holy."
-- J. Mikael Togneri in Spirituality In Slavehood

"In a sense, you will find that it does not matter what stance you take in bondage and discipline games. Either role done well transcends into the other, and to be done well both require trust."
-- Lady Ravinia

"I have found alternating roles to yield the most intense results as this develops the dynamic of master and slave within. As within, so without. This mirroring between interior and exterior culminates in an orgasm of transcendance in which one is no longer defined by the limitations of an either/or neither/nor universe."
-- Raven Greywalker (Lilith)

"BDSM rituals often include the actions that induce altered states of consciousness and ecstasy, which is a "complex emotion containing elements of joy, terror, triumph, surrender and empathy."
-- Terrence McKenna

"Religious practice contains a number of sado-masochistic elements, from penance, confession and forgiveness, to servitude, abstinence and flagellation… The reason BDSM looks so much like a religious act is quite simply that it is a religious act."
--J. Mikael Togneri in Spirituality In Slavehood

"Pain in itself is only sensation and it is our attitudes of resistance to it, and fear, that make it uncomfortable. These attitudes are conditioning and can be released, or simply traded for more fulfilling attitudes. Acceptance and gratitude. Offer it love, instead."
--Mystress Angelique Serpent in Why Seek Painful Experiences?

"A submissive washing dishes for his dominant, knowing that each soap bubble, each swirl of water is a gift, an honoring, may feel the humming resonance of a hunger, partially satisfied, deep in his spirit. A domme, caught up in the meditative precision of tying each knot precisely *so*, may feel an echo of cathedral walls around her, each motion guiding her, and those around her closer to the God they seek. A masochist, floating in the scintillations of painwaves as the whip falls against her time and time again, may begin to feel their cadence as the cadence of prayer. A hesitant sadist may, with the first hissing of his partner's breath, begin to understand the transformative power he wields with his [her] strap."
--quirk in BDSM and Spirituality

"This notion is at least one explanation of what we call the power exchange. It is also the reason that so many of us feel the sharp focus of illumination as we come away from a successful scene. DomSpace is less physical than the experience of subspace and considerably subtler, but it is every bit as powerful as the experience of subspace. So, what we are after in this exceptional act of passion and cruelty we call a scene is that oneness, that transcendence which is the same goal as religion, which is the same goal as vanilla sex."
--Rick Umbaugh

"For most of the world, domination is a sign of anger and suppression, yet in the context of a leather scene it can be an act of caring and affection. As children we were taught that submission is a sign of weakness, yet in our realm submission becomes a voluntary surrender of power and an act worthy of respect. To some, bondage is a cruel affliction to be fought against. In our community, it can be an experience of soaring freedom and release. Acts of discipline can be punishment, a source of fear and trauma, but when it is part of a "scene" it can be a framework of protocol for our play. We take pain, ordinarily something to be avoided at all cost and embrace it, transforming it into pleasure."
-- Hardy Haberman

Credit for finding the quotes goes to http://www.sensuoussadie.com/

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The Long Kiss Goodnight (S)

Picture courtesy of

I just wanted to kiss him goodnight. That was truly my innocent intent. I look over into his eyes, he smiles, and I rise to my knees to tower over him as we lay in our bed. As I come toward him and feel his warm breath on my neck, I look forward to the taste and warmth of his mouth. We kiss. Soft at first around the edges of his lips with a playful lick of the tongue on his front teeth. He bites a bit....I like that. Then it escalates. Our tongues intertwine and I hear soft sounds coming from my lungs as I breath in and out faster and faster. I never want it to end so I move in closer. His hands fall gently around my waist, while MY hands find their way to his neck to tug on his collar. He is SO mine. I pull him on top of me and we continue with long strokes of the tongue...deeper then shallow then deeper again. While his hands wander to my chest with soft caresses, mine wander to the same vicinity of his body with far more ferocity as I engage in some NT. I always mean to start more gently, but for some reason my fingers choose to be harsher than my head. He begins to make the sounds I love which makes me increase intensity faster and harder until I realize he his hitting his limits. Now I lower my hands anticipating the hardness I know I will feel down below. Again, I can't help but start CBT play with my nails until he squirms and moans for mercy. He puts his hands in mine, squeezes tightly and we are off on another journey of discovery...of pleasure...and of love. All this from just a single kiss.

Her favorite chair (E)

Artwork courtesy of the amazing Laurent Lebeau

My Goddess has a few favorite television shows... that I must watch with her. They wouldn't be my first choice in terms of subject matter, but it doesn't make a difference to her. I think she enjoys that I may not like to watch them (I remember her deliciously wicked smile at the thought...). But I must keep her company during that time, whether I enjoy the shows or not. If she's feeling especially dominant, or if she thinks I may really not enjoy the show, she may even place me in bondage next to her.

Fact of the matter is, I love every second of being with her, and we have fun watching and discussing the shows. But we are developing a new ritual while we watch where I will sit behind her, against the headboard of the bed with a pillow or two between me and the headboard, and she will sit back against me, between my legs. I so love to feel so much of her against me, and the weight of her body reclining against me. It's also an opportunity for me to caress her skin gently, play with her hair, plant a few delicate kisses on the side of her neck, and to enjoy how good she always smells.

This ritual has become her "favorite chair", and it is sublimely sensual. And it has become something I very much look forward to. Now I gladly remind her of when her favorite shows will come on. Am I trainable or what... :)

During last evening's show, we could not resist the temptation of starting to kiss during that time, and tender kisses turned into much more passionate ones. Within a few minutes, we missed a short part of the show as I was providing my Goddess with a variety of pleasures, and her energy and her vibes were just off the charts.

After the show, I massaged my Goddess to sleep with one of our favorite lotions, and in no time, she was fast asleep. A most satisfying end to another wonderful day...