"... when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
-- When Harry met Sally

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
-- Carl Jung

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Owning the "s" in D/s: a pictorial essay (E)

Images courtesy of Dark Angel Dreams via Dishevelled Domina

During moments of reflections this week, I realized once more how important it was for me to be proactive in, and committed to, my submission to my Goddess if I was really to give her the opportunity to express and exercise her dominance over me. No matter how well a D/s relationship is going, no matter how strong the D/s dynamics are, sometimes life gets in the way. And it's easy to drift into a bit of indifference, or worse, to fall into the trap of wondering what our partners are doing wrong, and to forget about the part we own in the relationship. So I decided that it was as good a time as any to re-own more fully the "s" in our D/s relationship.

Image courtesy of Slave in Training via Girls Rule, Sub Drools

In my mind, that means a few things. To be more openly enthusiastic with my submission. To be more communicative with my needs. To be more expressive with my submission, my love, and my affection toward her. To let go of the outside world when we do get time together. Not only does it make no sense that my Goddess would react positively while I am pre-occupied intellectually and emotionally with other things, I know by experience that her level of enjoyment and fulfillment in our relationship and our activities is directly proportional to my reactions, my engagement, my enthusiasm, and the depth of my submission.

Image courtesy of Alternative Female Domination via GeekDomme

I know how my Goddess reacts to my offering of my submission. She loves to take control, to take advantage, and to seize any opportunity to dominate me in whatever manner she is in the mood for.

Image courtesy of Cruella via GeekDomme

Of course, all this is easier said than done. Being aware of these things is essential to success, but awareness is not sufficient. Only when thought is a precursor to action is success possible. If I do everything I can to set the mood, and fuel her hunger for dominance, she will be more than happy to take everything I have to offer. And then some. So it is up to me to step things up.

Image courtesy of Minha Mente Impura via GeekDomme

Before anybody starts worrying about us, don't. We are doing quite well. Busy but well. Our daily rituals keep the D/s dynamics flowing freely and easily, even during those times we wish we had the time and the energy to increase/elevate the frequency and intensity of our activities. After all, we are who and what we are.

Image courtesy of Slaves of the Goddess

Finally, lest it would seem that I have selfish motives here, it should be made clear that this is not all about me. This is about my contribution to my Goddess' happiness, her fulfillment, and the quality and intensity of our lives in our chosen lifestyle.

Image courtesy of Fine Erotica

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Recap: It's been a while between posts (E)

Image courtesy of Femdom Resource, credited to Strawberry Mistress' Tumblr

As it is usually after the case after a long period of not posting, I am bursting with a smorgasbord of thoughts, visions, and emotions. So here goes...

I would have gone to do some errands this morning, but it wasn't really possible. My Goddess went to bed last night without unlocking the leash she attached to my locked leather collar earlier, keeping me confined (in the best possible way!) to our home, and close to her. Late yesterday afternoon, she had gone for a nap, and being both terribly tired and not feeling too well, she got up just for a short time during the evening, and went back to sleep for good.

It may help to understand that this particular leash is a 50' long, 3/16" thick steel cable that is attached to a brass structure of our bed. Typically, she'll attach it to my ever-present locked leather collar when she goes for a nap and she expects me to be doing some housework, which was the case yesterday.

Here are some posts about the original house leash, adventures in leashing, and about the leash and other rituals.

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Without a doubt, my favorite recent find on Twitter is a very cute and funny clip put up by Miss Ginger Millay:

Shit Girls Say to Dominatrices

Interestingly enough, while I was watching the clip with my Goddess, she told "she's just your style." Not quite sure what my Goddess meant by that, although I guess she was remarking on Miss Ginger's humor and fun enthusiasm.

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Hottest (in a D/s kind of way) conversation of the last month with my Goddess:

In a discussion about money matters last weekend, my Goddess brought a quick end to the back and forth of the talk by interjecting "Oh, that's right... I own you." Well, that did it. Case closed, she wins, and in my momentary pause, I get hit by a little wave of subspace.

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Hottest texts of the last month:

"You're getting tied up tonight!"

I'm still amazed, and delighted, that several years into our relationship, I still get butterflies in my stomach and get all subspacey when she tells me that. And of course, I usually spend the rest of the day suffering from a total loss of focus.

Spending time in bondage in the care of my Goddess, with or without other BDSM activities, always justifies the emotional ramp-up, and reinforces both our D/s dynamics and the lasting imagery/imprint of those moments.

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Back of the topic of leashes, dissatisfied with the cell phone tracking apps we had been using, we upgraded to a monthly service that allows my Goddess to track my every movement... at all times and with great accuracy. In addition, she can load up addresses and days/times of my week's work schedule. Notifications come in to her cell phone if I'm not where I'm supposed to be at those times.

It has been a source of great D/s enjoyment for her... upon her first notification (she hadn't reset the schedule and location when I was out of town at a trade show), she texted me "Oh, I'm going to enjoy this!"

On my side, I'm glad to provide my Goddess with that level of control (and pleasure). I had written a post a while back called The invisible leash in which I talked about the D/s dynamics of the decision to have her be able to track my location 24 hours a day.

It's kind of interesting that, contrary to the normal feelings that may arise in non-D/s relationships, having less freedom and submitting to more control is increasingly appealing to me as our D/s relationship grows over time.

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I so have to clean up our blog's links. It's been so long... a number of links are no longer valid, and I have so many more to add. Be that as it may, I'd like to point out that shortly after this post goes live, I'll add the following photo sites:
Geek Domme
Felm Cyber
Please keep you slave on a leach
Slave in Training

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And finally, an image that could be of me while my Goddess is busy taking a shower, or otherwise busy and needing me out of the way but behaving.

Image courtesy of zzzdragonbdsm via Strawberry Mistress' Tumblr