"... when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
-- When Harry met Sally
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
-- Carl Jung
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Crazy busy week. RL really getting in the way of writing. But...
Still had the now traditional weekend marking session last weekend. Lying in bed, hands tied above my head, feet tied to the foot of the bed, my Goddess took her hot pink Sharpie and went to work.
She wrote "Selena" on the upper right chest. She wrote her real name on the upper left chest. Under each was a little heart, with a small arrow leading to the word "MINE" in the middle of my chest. The whole design was about 14" X 8". On my lower stomach my Goddess wrote "PET" in between two little hearts. About 6" X 2". The whole artwork was just beautiful...
Of course, I didn't see it right away. After she was done, and did a little NT, my Goddess looked over her artwork as she enjoyed a cigarette, taking time to tease me with her smoking. Then she re-mounted my chest, did some harder NT and some CBT. The CBT was intense enough for my squirming to start exciting her, and as she felt she needed to get to a higher level, she stood up on the bed, looked down at me, gyrated her hips in a very suggestive manner, moved up on the bed, and came back down, covering my face as she sat down on it.
I did my best to orally satisfy my Goddess. As the tension was building and my Goddess was getting closer and closer to her climax, she pinched my nostril to get me to work harder and faster. Within a few seconds, a tremendous orgasm came over her, and I felt her tremble against me as she laid back over my chest...
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Busy day around the house yesterday, with lots of chores, duties, and things to do.
As is the tradition when my Goddess and I are at home but not spending the whole time together, she will clip my house leash to the central D-ring of my locked leather collar. The house leash is 50' long, tied to one of the posts of the bed, and it is holds much significance, and more than a little affection, for both of us.
The symbolism of the leash is multi-faceted. It is an instrument of control... easily allowing my Goddess to control or direct my actions, or know where I am or what I'm doing. It is a signal for service... my Goddess giving it a few tugs, or pulling it in until I appear, and this is usually followed by a request for something. It is a brush for the expression of my Goddess' dominance... giving me room, or taking it away, but always in a position to decide which it will be.
In a slapstick comedy kind of way, the leash can also be a real hazard. While I'm busy doing something, if I complete a turn instead of undoing it, the leash will wrap around my ankles. Sometimes I'll get up from a sitting position or one where I'm bent over, and realize that I can't straighten up any more because I accidentally stepped on the leash. Or that my Goddess stepped on the leash.
I have to be careful not to have the leash swing inside the oven if I'm putting something in or taking it out. I try to hold the leash in one hand to control it better if I'm moving something heavy or vacuuming. I try to keep the leash over my shoulder when I'm washing dishes or cleaning counter tops.
The leash will get caught in the straps of my locked leather ankle cuffs or locked leather wrist cuffs. The leash will get caught over furniture and under doors, around chairs and through whatever may be on the floor, shortening my range and forcing me to come back and fix it. My Goddess had a good laugh yesterday when the leash found some jeans that had fallen to the floor, the leash looped around them, and as I was off to prepare some coffee for her, the jeans made their way across the room.
The washing machine is the single furthest thing in the house for me when I'm wearing the leash. I can just barely reach over to its controls, and to pull clothes out to transfer them to the dryer, I have to make sure the leash is on my right side, not the left, otherwise I'll be left short. Washing machine duty can also be the most surprising. Occasionally, I don't notice that the leash got caught somewhere until the last second, and focused on the tasks at hand, I'll get jerked just a few feet short of usual range. I then feel like one of those cartoon dog characters running after someone or something, and then landing on their backs after getting to the end of their leash.
But all the trouble is well worth it when I see the wonderful and deliciously dominant smile of my Goddess when I show up before her, after she has summoned me with the leash. It's well worth the trouble knowing that my Goddess needs me for something when she pulls on the leash. It's worth even more than any trouble when my Goddess uses the leash to pull me in close to her, and I can feel, no, I am overwhelmed by, her control and her dominance.
And I'd more than happy to wear the leash just for the pleasure, and moments of humor, it provides my Goddess.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
When reality and fantasy collide...
My Goddess readies me for sleep, bound and under her control. Ankles locked in a spreader-bar, the spreader-bar attached to the foot of the bed. Wrists are in locked leather cuffs and tied to the headboard of the bed. The traditional locked leather collar is on, and so is a blindfold. Around my hips is a harness, locked in multiple points, that has my penis strapped into place, unable to get hard, and a dildo that reaches deep within me. My Goddess makes sure her pet is secure next to her for the night, kisses me gently, and falls asleep with her head on my chest and one leg across my hips...
I come back from drawing my Goddess' bath, and she orders me to lie on the bed face down. She clips my locked wrist cuffs and locked ankle cuffs together to put me in a hogtie position. She adds a blindfold. She tells me not to go anywhere... she wants me right there when she's done... whenever that may be...
An unexpected phone call provides only short notice that some girlfriends are coming over for coffee and a brief social call. My Goddess pulls me by my leash to the bedroom closet, places the blindfold over my eyes, binds my wrists together behind my back, binds my ankles together, and leaves me on the floor next to her shoes and boots. She tells me to be a good pet and to be quiet or she have to put on the gag too, and kisses me gently on the cheek. The door to the closet is shut, and she goes away to answer the door. I hear some muffled voices far away, some laughs, and I drift away into subspace thinking about my Goddess and longing for the time she will be back for me.
My Goddess and I are rarely ever apart. It is only on the rare occasion that I will need to run an errand without her. But the last time I did, my Goddess felt it took too much time. She's not blaming me for dillydallying, but she does want to make sure I come back to her as soon as possible. So she places the nipples rings on me. Their severity insures that I do what I have to do as rapidly, yet safely, as possible, and that I think about nothing else but returning to her. I do come back in record time. I present myself on my knees before her for the removal of the nipple rings. She says "right after the next cigarette..."
A phone call comes in for my Goddess. A social call from an old friend. She grabs my leash, pulls me over and makes me walk on all fours next to her. She makes herself comfortable on the sofa and puts her feet up on the ottoman. She gestures to me that she wants her feet kissed during the time of the call. This will last the entire call. The only interruption to the worshiping of her feet is when I have to hold the ashtray while she smokes...
A favorite television show comes on while we relax in bed. My Goddess binds my wrists to the headboard of the bed, and my ankles to the foot of the bed. She sits over my face, alternating smothering and oral servitude over the course of the program.
My Goddess steps out of the shower, and I am patting her dry with a towel. She grabs my hair and forces me to my knees. She looks down on me as she reaches for my nipples. She wants a whimper... She needs a whimper... Just because she can... Just because I'm hers...
D/s stream of consciousness... lovemaking while gagged... a quiet evening of board games while wrists and ankles are bound in rope... caning or paddling before leaving the house for an outing... oral servitude on demand... strap-on play over lunch break... wearing the locked collar while out shopping...
Monday, January 18, 2010
Bondage, markings, caning, domestic servitude, oral and sexual servitude...
- In the last 76 hours, I've been without my locked leather collar maybe 4 hours. Maybe 12 hours without the ankle cuffs.
- We actually went out for dinner last night, and my Goddess insisted that I wear my locked leather collar. I tried my best to conceal it under my cold weather clothing at a very vanilla and busy restaurant. She took it off before today's shower, and left it off since we were going to be in public quite a bit for a few hours. But as is our ritual, it went back on this evening when we returned from shoppping, and will remain in place until I prepare for work in the morning.
- I had to wear my locking leather ankle cuffs all day today, including our lunch at a restaurant, and during our shopping this afternoon. They are still on, and will remain in place until I prepare for work in the morning (they may go back after the shower).
- My nipples are very sore from NT over the weekend, and lovemaking last night. At one point during sex, she whispered to me "I want to hurt [you]".
- I have some skin burns where my ankle cuffs rub against the front of the ankles.
- I could feel some sensitivity to my backside yesterday, almost 2 days after the caning.
- The markings my Goddess drew on me are faded but still visible 72 hours, and 2 showers, later.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
The weekend came upon us, and my Goddess' marks on me from the previous weekend had faded out. You'll remember from a post two weeks ago, describing the intensely powerful experience we shared when she first used a hot pink Sharpie to mark me with words and symbols of possession and ownership, of her dominance and her love, she said my body would never again be without marks or etchings from her. Well, it was time to renew them...
My Goddess ordered me to lie down on my side of the bed after she placed a blindfold on me. She placed leather cuffs around my ankles, tied my wrists to the headboard of the bed, clipped my ankle cuffs together, and clipped those to the footboard of the bed. I was bound, immobilized, and vulnerable... just like my Goddess likes me. The wave of my Goddess' dominance washing over me, and being put in bondage and prepped for what was going to follow, started me drifting in subspace as that peaceful feeling brought about by the serenity of surrender set in. My Goddess went to her side of the bed to pick-up the Sharpie, climbed over me, and straddled my hips. Before getting down to her artwork, she couldn't resist teasing, hurting, and torturing my nipples. What she did felt so incredible... erotically pleasurable, deliciously painful, sensations that hurt so much but felt so good. One of those moments that I didn't think I could take any more but didn't want her to stop.
I felt my Goddess shift of her weight as she leaned over me, and then felt the sharp tip of the Sharpie against my skin. First of the left side of my chest, and then on the right side. The whole process took just 2 or 3 minutes, but they were delightful minutes of sensual anticipation. It's always special to have my Goddess sit on or against any part of me, and being the center of her dominant attention. But I also had visions of previous artwork my Goddess had drawn on me going through my mind, and I couldn't wait to find out what she was in the mood for.
The markings were done, and as has become the custom, my Goddess took a break to have a cigarette while she enjoyed her artwork. Her smoking time also included teasing me with her smoke, and a little bit of heat play with my nipples.
Once she finished smoking, my Goddess went to our toy cabinet, and I felt her return with the sting of one of the floggers. I gathered at that point she wasn't quite done leaving marks on me, although these would be of an entirely different nature. My Goddess started with the flogger on my thighs, and then moved up to my privates, albeit more gently, and then higher up on my mid-section and chest.
She paused for a moment, and released me partially from the bondage. My hands were untied from the headboard of the bed, and while she left my ankle cuffs clipped together, she unclipped them from the footboard of the bed, and she ordered me to turn onto my front. She then switched to a heavier flogger, and worked over my backside and back from a variety of directions with great sharpness and accuracy. The sensations and reactions from the flogging got us both into a climbing spiral of intensity. The strokes elicited increasing movements and moans from me, and that feedback fed my Goddess' lust to get more of them.
My Goddess interrupted the rising emotions by ordering me to go on all fours. Despite the light tapping my Goddess started with, I immediately recognized the heaviness of our rigid purple plastic cane. The warm-up didn't last very long, and hard sharp strokes were soon coming down on my backside, literally from one hip to the other. Totally lost in subspace, in my surrender to my Goddess' dominance, in the overwhelming sensations shaking me to my core, after maybe two dozen strokes I couldn't stay still receiving the blows my Goddess was giving me. Far from disappointing her, my squirming fuels her fire, and she won't stop until she is satisfied that I can't handle any more of what she's dishing out.
After a few strokes of the cane that almost caused me to roll over, my Goddess commented on the additional beautiful marks she had left on me, and I felt her soft and cool hand touch the warm flesh where she had exerted her dominance and power over. I laid down on my side, my mind lost in the depths of subspace. My Goddess sat on the bed close to me, removed my blindfold, and deeply looked into my eyes with love and ownership, and began to gently caress me.
Oh yeah... I almost forgot... the artwork. On the left side of my chest: Owned and Collared (5" X 5"). And on the right: "Selena", with a little heart underneath, and below that, "Her Pet" (5" X 6").
Miscellaneous time-keeping: coming up on 40 hours of wearing my locked leather collar... and almost as long wearing the ankle cuffs... despite 2 quick errands in public yesterday... good thing for cold weather. And of course, the locked chain has still not been removed... 28 days and counting.
Friday, January 15, 2010
It's been 26 days since my Goddess purchased, and locked around my neck, a beautiful chain that is kept in place by a small shiny lock that matches the chain perfectly. I've worn it for all 26 days, 24/7. My Goddess has the only keys to the lock in her possession, and short of exceptional circumstances such as air travel, medical issues, or other major situations when it could be a problem, she's told me she's not intending on taking it off. Ever.
That's so hot...
I'm sad that this has meant that the original necklace my Goddess collared me with has remained on my bedside table. It's a beautiful piece that is clearly D/s in intent, and its design makes it relatively easy to conceal under a shirt or sweater. The problem was that it was a delicate piece, it was starting to show some wear, and it had to be removed once or twice a day so not to be damaged.
And that is what motivated the purchase of the chain. While less subtle, the heavier chain can still be concealed fairly easily, it is much less likely to be damaged, regardless of activities, and even if it does get damaged (which is difficult to imagine, in view of its hardy construction), it would be relatively inexpensive to replace.
This new locking chain has not been affected by our ritual of my Goddess placing my locking leather collar around my neck as soon as we both get home each day. It is more than sturdy enough to withstand the occasional light impact with the D-rings of the leather collar, something that was a concern with the more delicate necklace. So during my time at home with my Goddess, I've been wearing both the locking chain and locking collar over the course of the last month.
In additional to the heavier weight around my neck, the new locking chain has proven to be a bonus to my Goddess as it is easier to reach and tug on, if the leather collar isn't connected to a leash. It has come in useful to my Goddess during our lovemaking for control and very light breath play. And while we go around in public, such as shopping in large malls, it has brought little moments of pride and joy to my Goddess as she will occasionally reach around the back of my neck, pull the chain up so that the lock slips over my shirt or sweater, and then it becomes visible to anyone who would look carefully enough.
Wearing the locked chain 24/7, knowing that it cannot be removed unless my Goddess chooses to, has been an additional element of control that has further reinforced the D/s dynamics of our relationship, and deepened the bonds of belonging and ownership between us. It has also deepened or intensified what I would call the serenity of surrender, a peaceful and happy place to be in for me.
The locked chain is a noticeable physical sensation that is a simple but powerful symbol of my Goddess' control over me, and a symbol of permanency, of dominance, of inevitability, and of commitment. And it has been a wonderful addition to both our collection of implements and our lifestyle.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
HNT Courtesy of Sexy Sadie
Welcome to e[lust] - your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #6? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!
♦ This Week’s Top Three Posts ♦
Late Arrival: An Airport Encounter - I saw a possible haven ahead: a pilot disappearing into the pilots’ lounge. I could think of nowhere else that would offer us even a modicum of privacy. Time to brazen it out. With her still walking obediently alongside, I pushed my way into the lounge.
The Condom Question. Confession #397 – Luckily, this time I had my wits about me enough to reply with a categorical, Yes a condom is absolutely necessary, darlin, but history has proven that, while I’m naked and horny, I can offer no more justification as to why such protection is paramount.
No more… - “I’m so sorry, I can’t…”. Words, words, so many words… reasons and reasoning and things and stuff and none of it made sense, and through all of it, disbelief, dread, a sickness of heart… I couldn’t quite believe what I was hearing.
◊ e[lust] Editress ◊
Sex as a Panacea - As I begged “faster” “harder” “more!” I felt my orgasm come on, a mere minute or two after we began with this combination. A thunderous orgasm overtook me as he kept up with the dildo and I with the Climax for the first big wave.
♦ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ♦
Bad Girl – I take off my coat and stand proudly before her in my black lace corset, suspenders, stockings and heels. She looks me up and down and smiles at me when she catches my stare. Desire is already zinging through my body.
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!
Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships
Domestic Violence on MTV’s ‘Teen Mom’
From Helper To Survivor
Good girl, bad girl…
If the Peg Fits
Insecurity, You can Kiss My Ass
Nothing is perfect, which is why there is communication
Regaining my Femme
All Rise For the Queen
Centre of Attention
Ending The Decade With Wes
Invading The Boy’s Club – #4
Lorraine’s Coming Out
My reputation precedes me
The Erotic Touch of a Stranger
Kink & Fetish
1st night out as sub
Being my Master’s Shoe Slut
Bondage and Being Ignored
Caning in the snow at New Year
Mind Games and Number Games
Much Ado About Punching
September 2010: A Slave’s Initiation
The Intimacy of Being Taken
The workhouse maid, punished
The Porn Reports, Part 1
Violence and BDSM
Yes, No, and Consent
“You’re a good little fuck toy”
News, Interviews, Politics & Humor
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Both my Goddess and I were not feeling 100% yesterday, likely from something we ate at a restaurant the previous evening. Nothing too terrible, just random moments throughout the day of not feeling at our best. I'm sure details on that kind of thing are unnecessary...
Sadly, it made us miss a private play party with some friends. But we were happy just to be together, and we spent the evening watching a movie. After the movie, I was pretty much over what had been ailing us all day, my Goddess seemed to be doing better, but it was getting really late, we were both getting really tired, and we began preparing to go to sleep.
And then, as suddenly as an earthquake that hits without warning, my Goddess was in a mood. As much as her energy was down earlier that evening, her dominant energy swelled up and swept through both of us in different ways, and the emotional landscape was radically changed in a matter of just a few seconds.
My Goddess asked me for the hot pink Sharpie. As I handed it to her, she got up from the bed, picked up one of our leather blindfolds, placed it over my eyes and buckled it. As I was lying on the bed on my back, she climbed onto my hips, and I heard the cap of the Sharpie come off.
My mind was racing. Last week's marking play was exceptionally exciting. It created such a powerful sense of ownership/belonging in me, and my Goddess enjoyed it so much she said I would never again be without markings. By Friday, the markings of the previous week had faded out, so I guess it was time again for my Goddess to re-identify her pet, her property.
She covered even more ground this time, including my left arm, but obviously I was only going to find out the specifics later. As soon as my Goddess was done, she teased me with some NT for a while, and then took a length of rope, did a column tie around my wrists, and slipped the chain attached at the top of the headboard of the bed through the binding so that my hand were restrained above my head.
My Goddess got off the bed (and me), seemed to look for something among our toys, came back quickly, straddling my stomach facing my legs, and did some CBT for a few seconds. Without any pause, I felt her apply some clothespins to different areas of my C & B, maybe half-a-dozen or so. She then took out the Sharpie again, wrote something around my pubic area, and decided to take a break.
So there I laid, blindfolded, hands bound to the top of the bed, marked, with clothespins on my privates. I already had my locked leather collar on from earlier in the day, as well as my locked leather ankle cuffs, which had been on continuously, with the exception of showering, since Thursday morning.
My Goddess came back onto the bed, sat by my side, and lit a cigarette. To further limit my movement, she put the ashtray on my chest. While she relaxed for a bit, and teased me with her smoke, she took some time to describe the markings she had placed on me. She wrote Selena in cursive letters on the left side of my chest (which turned out to be about 2" X 4"), drew a crescent moon and stars (in Greek mythology, Selene was the goddess of the moon, and Endymion was her lover) with "Her Pet" written underneath (3" X 3"). She wrote her real name on my left arm, with a little heart underneath (2" X 1"). And finally, she wrote "mine" on my pubic area with two arrows pointing to my penis (2" X 6"), very visible because the hair has not grown very much since the shaving scene from a while back.
It was simply magical to lie there bound, vulnerable, in the control of my Goddess, while she described each marking and smoked next to me. I was so hers... so totally hers.
My Goddess finished smoking, removed the ashtray from my chest, and climbed back up on my stomach, facing my legs. She did some CBT as she sensually moved her hips over and against me. She began removing the clothespins, and each one of my reactions excited her more, increasing the amplitude and intensity of her own movements.
After the clothespins were all off, I could feel my Goddess letting her excitement get the better of her, and she suddenly turned around, straddling my hips, and grinding against my hard and erect penis as she moved on to some NT. The chain-reaction that followed quickly went out of control. My reactions to her movements and the NT kept her excitement increasing further. Her movements and the pain she caused me increased my excitement, increased the intensity of my reactions, and caused me to squirm even more under her.
And then, she could take no more. She needed to climax NOW. She stood up briefly, turned around again (facing my torso), and dropped herself on me, covering me face. Suddenly, my nose and mouth were engulfed inside her, and frantically my tongue worked to bring her the relief she was so desperate for. Twice she lifted herself for just a moment for me to get some air, and within a matter of a few seconds after that, a thundering climax fell upon her, left her body shaking violently for well over a minute.
Wow... that was so fucking hot. In the complete control of my Goddess' dominance, vulnerable and available to anything she wanted, feeling an intense sense of belonging and ownership, sore from her torture, in deep, deep subspace, and excited to no end, I was so not expecting all this just an hour ago...
I realized during our post-play time that my Goddess was not expecting any of this to happen either. She had been looking forward to the private play party all week, and I think she felt bummed that we couldn't make it. As we prepared to go to sleep, she had just a little dominant twinkle that made her want to replace the markings that had faded, and then her dominant urges just totally took her over.
The sheer inspiration of what happened... the amazing turnaround in energy... the creativity that kept flowing... was absolutely incredible. And it has left me in quite a mood of my own this morning. Just dying to serve my Goddess in any way she wants, waiting on her on my hands and knees. Just dying to display my submission, my dedication, my love to my Goddess for the world to see. I have visions running through my mind of my Goddess leading me around on a leash while we go shopping later on this afternoon.
Wow... hmmm... alright... discretion, as the better part of valor, will prevail, and I'll slowly come down from last night's high, but it's just an reflection of the amazing level of energy flowing between us that just a little spark could set off such a chain of events, and that I'd still be so wired 12 hours later.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Woke up this morning in a just-can't-get-enough-of-my-Goddess kind of mood...
- Just can't spend enough time with her...
- Just can't be asked enough to do things for her...
- Just can't spend enough time worshiping and adoring her...
- Just can't have enough of her pulling on my hair and teasing me...
- Just can't be in bondage for her enough...
- Just can't feel enough of her ownership...
- Just can't have enough of her grabbing my locked collar and pulling me close to her...
- Just can't have enough of her control...
- Just can't have enough of her affection...
- Just can't have enough intimacy with her...
- Just can't have enough hurt from her...
- Just can't have enough love from her...
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
My Favorite Word...a quick stream-of consciousness evaluation of the word BOUND...
BOUND meaning a confinement.
BOUND meaning a predicament.
BOUND meaning a promise.
I just realized what a powerful word BOUND can be. So diverse is its meaning. It isn't just about a tangible situation, but also what each of those situations represent.
Dymion often finds himself bound in chains. Bound in cuffs. Bound in ropes. Bound any other creative way I can find to limit his movement and remove his control. Yes, that is really hot, but he and I also share this magical verb in other ways:
BOUND by love.
BOUND by commitment.
BOUND our life together.
To be BOUND is such a huge part of a 24/7 D/s lifestyle. BDSM is so deliciously symbolic of the ties that bind any relationship. Yep, one cannot deny the multi-dimensions of our kind of kink.
So, in summary, I dig the word BOUND and all it represents. Three cheers for Selena's new favorite word! Here is wishing we all find ourselves BOUND in the most delightful and meaningful ways.
After the amazing evening we had, with the hot and sensual strap-on play, and the marking, my Goddess decided to leave the locked wrist and ankle cuffs on overnight. But not only did she leave them on, but she clipped my ankle cuffs together, did the same for the wrist cuffs, and clipped these to the chain running from the top of the headboard. I was hers, and in her control, for the night.
I so love the feeling that my Goddess wants to keep me by her side and under her control. It's an intoxicating feeling, mixing elements of belonging, affection, ownership, attention, control, dominance, vulnerability, helplessness, and surrender. I do miss, however, the option of reaching over to get close to her, although most of the time she'll be the one staying close to me, often laying her head on my chest and one thigh over my hips.
Over the course of the night, after several hours I guess, I wasn't in a position to check on the time, my Goddess unclipped my wrist cuffs from the chain and from each other because she wanted to change positions.
The ankle cuffs stayed clipped, though, and in fact remained that way for about half the next day. This gave my Goddess the opportunity to teasingly chide me for my slow service during our usual morning rituals, and when she requested things that I needed to get. You can visualize the scene... needing to get her morning coffee in locked ankle cuffs, with a 4" clip keeping them together. Even with about an inch for the D-ring on each cuff, that makes for pretty short steps. And the need to minimize the movement of the cuffs while walking is not to be taken lightly. Long-term and active wearing of the leather ankle cuffs can be rough on the skin, and not being careful with stride length while walking can cause serious skin burn. Over time, I have developed little permanent scuff marks from it, marks of my Goddess' dominance that I absolutely adore, but I'm still pretty careful walking when the ankle cuffs are clipped because they can get very painful very quickly, especially once the skin is broken.
My Goddess and I are not much into humiliation in general. Just not something that appeals to either one of us, and it would be an awkward fit in our particular dynamics. However, she does enjoy teasing me and making fun of me when I'm under her control or in a predicament she puts me in. Examples of this in the past have included us taking time to smoke while I had nipples rings on that were really really hurting and had to come off right then and there, asking me "Aaah... what's wrong, Baby?" after a particularly intense reaction, or in this case, teasingly giving me a hard time for being so slow coming back from errands at the other end of the house while my ankles are bound.
By the morning, as is the tradition on non-working days while we are at home, I was also wearing what we affectionately call the house lease, a 50' length of rope clipped to my collar. With my ankles bound, my Goddess also took the opportunity to remind me of how slow I was in my movements by tugging on it faster than I could walk. I tried to stay focused on not spilling anything, and I couldn't help but smile at how much fun she was having.
That day was a stay at home day for us, and the locked ankle cuffs and the locked wrist cuffs stayed on all day. It's a given that my locked leather collar remained on since the moment we walked in the door the previous evening, as is the case every single day. In the mid-afternoon, my Goddess mercifully removed the clip from the ankle cuffs, since she didn't want to damage the skin to the point where it would bleed. But there would be no release from the cuffs, and the possibility of my Goddess deciding to restrain me further at any moment remained.
We had a wonderful day together. I was kept busy by domestic service around our home, including preparing meals, 4 loads of laundry, washing the dishes, some minor cleaning, and during the evening, my Goddess required sexual servitude.
Time to go sleep came back around, and while all the cuffs stayed on, they were not clipped together or tied to anything. But we did fall asleep in a spooning position, with my Goddess on the inside, and with my arms wrapped around her, and she took hold of the wrist cuffs with her hands. We fell asleep in that position, and it made for an even more restraining and controlling position, since the last thing I would want to do was wake my Goddess up with any sudden move.
Sadly, the morning came and we had to get ready for work. After 36 hours, give or take a bit, the cuffs and the collar came off. The release is always a sad moments for both of us, but I did enjoy the phantom sensations that lasted for an hour or two after the removal of the cuffs.
In an exchange of cell phone texts later that morning, when we made brief allusions to the cuffs, my Goddess reassured me that they would be back on soon...
Monday, January 4, 2010
After the magic of being taken by my Goddess, we actually wound down for a bit before going to sleep. Post-play, a very special and intimate time for us when we check on each other, and talk about what happened and what it did for each of us, we started talking about belonging and ownership, and how strap-on play affirms and reinforces those feelings. It wasn't long before our discussion came back to the tattoo that she is planning on me getting in a few months' time.
As we both got gradually more worked-up about discussing a permanent marking for me that would be a tribute to the dynamics of our relationship and our love for each other, an idea suddenly popped into my mind. I asked my Goddess if she would want to mark me right now if she could, and she responded that she would. I followed up "Well, it would be only temporary for now, but I would so love it if you would", turned over to my bedside table, brought out a Sharpie with hot pink ink (the sudden idea... I remembered that it was there), and offered it up to her.
A beautiful, more than slightly evil smile came upon her, and I felt her excitement and her dominance (still super-high from the strap-on play) rise like a huge surf on the horizon. She took the Sharpie and pulled it away from me forcefully, and I felt her mind running through possibilities, and thinking about areas on my body to place her markings. After just a few seconds of thought, my Goddess, pushed my left shoulder down, jumped from her spot next to me on the bed, and mounted my hips. It was way too late already for me to take back my offer, but it was done in earnest, and I was more than delighted at her reaction.
As I looked up at her beautiful, mischievous face, I dipped back into surrender and subspace. There was something so erotic, so D/s, so "us" about my Goddess straddling my hips, leaning over me, and marking me to her liking with a permanent marker. As long as my skin didn't develop an allergic reaction to the ink...
The few minutes my Goddess spent marking me were absolutely sublime. In a different kind of way from usual, my body was the canvas for the expression of her dominance. I loved the pride she took in marking her toy, her pet, her possession. I was so excited to have my Goddess express her ownership of me in such a manner.
My Goddess finally, and sadly, finished her artwork. She spent some time on both the left side of my chest and the right. I loved the expression of satisfaction she had looking over what she had created, and I was dying to see it myself. She gave me permission to go to the bathroom to check out what she had done.
When I came up to the mirror, I think I skipped a breath when I saw the beauty and significance of what she had done. On the right side of my chest, my Goddess had drawn a padlock, with her initial on the lock, and with a chain running off each side of the lock. The whole drawing is about 3" X 1.5". On the left side of my chest, covering about 5" X 3", she wrote her name in heavy cursive letter, and drew a heart under it.
She wrote her name on me... she wrote her name on me... I think I'm still a little subspacey over it. I know it will happen again... my Goddess told me so this evening over dinner. She really enjoyed that. We both did... and we're still enjoying it today, despite some very slight blurring from wearing clothes over it.
Now, we're just waiting to see how long the artwork will last before it washes off...
Sunday, January 3, 2010
"Can I beat you up later?"
Hot, hot words from my Goddess while we were out having dinner... She looked beautiful, as always, and the smile she had across the table simply melted my heart... and got it racing... and started that magical feeling of anticipatory subspace...
I couldn't stop thinking too that she had been meaning to break open our new replacement strap-on for a while...
After dinner and a wonderful evening out together, we returned home where we relaxed by catching up on emails and fetish boards while watching some television. Then, rather suddenly, my Goddess told me I had to get ready... I had to get ready because I wouldn't be able to go anywhere once I returned. As subspace set-in, I started having flashbacks of different kinds of bondage and different positions, each one more vulnerable than the other for the pleasure of my Goddess.
I did return quickly, and my Goddess promptly requested that I bring the leather locking wrist and ankle cuffs, and a blindfold. My locking collar had been in place since our return home, and in a matter of a minute or two, the wrist cuffs were in place, locked, and clipped together, and so were the ankle cuffs. Shortly after, the blindfold was buckled over my eyes and my head, engulfing me deeper into subspace.
My Goddess ordered me to lie down on my back on the bed. Once I did that, she reached over to clip my wrist cuffs to a chain at the top of the headboard of the bed. She came over to the side of the bed I was on, teased my nipples a bit with her beautiful long nails, did some light, playful CBT, and returned to play with my nipples a little harder. She reached over to my bedside table to find one of our favorite lotions, and started spreading it and massaging it over my body, with a little more emphasis over my privates and my chest. A little more was used to lube my anal area as my Goddess tantalizingly teased me around the opening, and gently inserted a finger to spread the lotion inside. And then she left...
Ankles cuffed together, wrists cuffed together and chained to the bed, blindfolded, I was totally vulnerable to the mood and whims of my Goddess. These short interludes of mental isolation in bondage, even with the sounds of my Goddess scurrying about in the same room or the next, are always incredibly submissively erotic. The anticipation, the vulnerability, the headspace... I can never tell how long she's away from me. The enjoyment of the fall into deeper subspace offset by the desperate longing for my Goddess to return by my side creates a powerful tension that elevates the D/s energy several notches.
But return my Goddess did. She unclipped the ankle cuffs, moved onto the bed, and almost immediately I felt the tip of her strap-on press against my anal opening. The pressure increased gently and gradually, and I instinctively lifted my feet off the bed to give her what felt like a better angle. Within a few seconds, the head of the strap-on pushed through, and I had a first shudder run through my body. At that point I noticed that my Goddess had turned on the vibrating function, which always helps with the initial penetration. But somehow, it was still difficult for me to relax, and unintentionally, I was resisting her. My merciful Goddess, knowing my reactions and my abilities so well, gently pulled out, and tried again.
This time, I was hers completely. The breakthrough again sent a shudder through my body, and the strap-on truly felt like an extension of my Goddess. She was in a gentle and very sensual mood, and I felt that in the way she very gradually teased and pushed the strap-on all the way inside me. And it was inside before I had realized it, no small feat in view of the fact that this favorite strap-on of ours is 8.5", with a good width.
Once my Goddess had completely penetrated me, she began to focus more fully on herself. Her movements were gentle at moments, powerful at others. Long thrusts, fast thrusts, each brought out a moan or a reaction from me, which only served to excite my Goddess, and encouraged her to enjoy herself more. She changed the pace, changed the depth, and mixed in with the waves of subspace washing over me, was this huge dominant vibe coming from my Goddess that she was just so enjoying taking me.
After several minutes of this most intimate, and for me, powerfully symbolic of all femdom activities, I felt my Goddess hit terminal velocity. It's in the rhythm, the pace, the movement... just a groove that is inevitably leading her shortly to orgasm. At that point there was no gentleness... just deep, hard thrusts... faster and faster... until my Goddess reached a huge climax.
Awesome... just totally, fucking, awesome... After the peak of her climax, my Goddess leaned forward onto my chest while she was getting post-orgasm tremors. I could feel them with her body against mine, and I would have brought my hands down to hold her if they hadn't been chained over my head.
How can we describe the intimacy and the magic of scenes such as these? The powerful symbolism of my Goddess taking me... the intense sensations on both sides... the dominance and the surrender... Strap-on play is always so special to us. I would have it as part of our daily rituals, if there was any way we could handle it on a daily basis...
Later on, after my Goddess released me from my bondage and removed my blindfold, I cleaned up, and got her a snack as she requested (I can vouch for how hard she was working). Then just before we went to sleep, my Goddess once more clipped my ankle cuffs together, my wrist cuffs together, and clipped those to the chain dangling from the headboard of the bed. She told me to lie on my stomach, and I fell asleep bound, with my Goddess laying close to me, partly on my side and my back.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
On a web forum that I check on from time to time, the subject of appreciation came up. More specifically, the topic was about naming 5 things that I need to feel appreciated, and identifying two things that I would like to see/have/receive more of... hmmm...
I enjoyed the reflection this topic led to, so I'm carrying some of those thoughts, revised, over to our blog.
First, I feel an awkwardness around the word "need". Obviously, feeling appreciated is good and healthy for me, it's part of our D/s dynamics, and positively reinforces the behavior I display and the actions I do for my Goddess. The awkwardness part is that I'd like to think that I my needs are minimal, and that I wouldn't impose my needs on my Goddess and on our relationship. But human nature being what it is, and the dynamics of a loving relationship being what they are, it's only normal that the energy and the needs flow both ways, even if in different ways.
That being said... 5 things I need to feel appreciated...
1- My Goddess takes advantage of my dedication and servitude to her. It makes me feel appreciated that she enjoys having me do things for her, the more the better. It's a great win-win situation.
2- My Goddess spends all the time she can with me. Outside of our respective professional work life, we are virtually inseparable. That makes me feel special and appreciated.
3- Letting me know how special I am to her, including saying what a good pet I am, that I'm her boy, that I belong to her, that I'm hot, that she loves using me as her toy, and my favorite, when she pulls me in close to her by my locked collar, looks me straight in the eyes, and says "Mine!"
4- Whenever my Goddess feels the urge to express her dominance. It makes me feel appreciated/wanted/needed when she plays with me whenever she wants, when she hurts me whenever she wants, when she dominates me whenever she wants, because she's in the mood, because it's part of how she expresses her sexuality, because it's part of who she is, because... well, just because. She doesn't need a reason.
5- When I feel my Goddess' enjoyment of our rituals and protocols. Our D/s relationship is 24/7, and she has never tired of enjoying the myriad of little rituals and protocols that make it 24/7 D/s, further reinforcing the dynamics. Her enjoyment of these rituals and protocols, her insistance on these rituals and protocols tells me that they are important to her, and that makes me feel appreciated.
What? No sex in this list? No. Sex is a wonderful and delightful by-product of our connection, our intimacy, the expression of our sexuality, and the nature of our D/s dynamics. It's not a reward. We couldn't possibly wrap our minds around sex as a reward and be true to ourselves. It would mean that it was really only pleasure for one person, an obligation, an imposition.
Points of improvement? None really. Beyond the fact that we never have enough of each other, never have enough of what we do for each other. The addictive nature of our relationship, of our play, of our dynamics, and of our love for each other, these all make it so that we can never seem to get enough of each other. Otherwise, there's nothing else I could wish for.
Except... perhaps... that we remain together forever, and keep exploring on this incredible journey we share.