The Goddess wants to play - Part 1 (E)

Courtesy of Leather Femdom via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress (no longer active)

After a whole afternoon of hinting at her desire for some play, it was not a surprise later that evening when Goddess Selena sent me to lie down in our bed and wait for her. It wasn’t long before she sat on my chest to pin me down, buckled a blindfold to take away my sight, locked handcuffs around my wrists, and fastened the chain of the handcuffs to the headboard of the bed. Restrained and vulnerable… that’s how she wanted me. I immediately felt her dominant glee and satisfaction come over me as the tension of the power exchange rose steadily.

Teasing me not to go anywhere, Goddess Selena went off on the first of what would be several trips over the course of the evening to find goodies that would serve her dominant purposes. Within two or three minutes, she returned and sat on me again, this time closer to my hips. She gave her own hips a shake, either to tease me, to remind me of how I was in her control, or to signify her excitement.

I heard the sound of the lighter being clicked several times, and then the first drop of wax landed on my chest. My startled moment was her moment of glee as she felt my chest rise and my hips rub under her. She moved the candle over different areas of my upper body, getting reactions of different intensities depending on where the drops landed. The wax was actually quite hot, and the heat impacted sharply. She seemed to enjoy my squirming, although I was limited in my movements, my hands bound overhead and her bodyweight keeping me down.

Courtesy of Gynarchy via The Heart's Dark Desires

Drifting further into subspace, I barely noticed when Goddess Selena reached over, and released the tie between the handcuffs and the headboard. As she moved off my hips, she ordered me to get on my hands and knees on the bed. She began with a flurry of little taps from the rattan cane. As soon as she told me to keep count aloud however, the strokes came in much harder and stingier. I had barely reached ten when she switched to the much heavier purple lexan cane. I had difficulty staying in place for the next ten as Goddess Selena didn’t let up despite the more severe striking implement. Despite her evident radiant enjoyment of the caning and my reactions to her ministrations, she decided then that it was time to switch things up again.

Part 2 in a few days: markings, hogtie, clothespins, subspace kissing, and more.

Courtesy of The Heart's Dark Desires
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We’ve been a social media hiatus, as you have likely noticed. Please accept our apologies if you’ve left comments or reached out to us. I’ll try to catch up over the next few weeks. I’ll also try to clean-up the links.

A big thanks to Ferns for the warm feeling she gave Goddess Selena and me recently. In a short exchange of tweets a few days ago, she mentioned that we had been “super quiet all over the place.” We’re sad that it has been indeed the case. But it’s feels nice that someone noticed.

Goddess Selena had left the handcuffs on overnight, and while she was still sleeping, I wrote most of this post, and began my morning activities, with my wrists still bound. I was quickly reminded how awkward typing is in handcuffs, and how dangerous simple activities like pouring cereal, and having breakfast, become. And yet, it brought back some of the D/s tension from the evening before, if only by proxy.

Absence makes the dominant heart grow hungrier - part one (E)

Picture courtesy of Justin Thai, found originally on Stylish Femdom

It has been a very long time since the last post.  No, no… don’t be concerned.  Life sometimes gets in the way of blogging.  My apologies for the absence.  I will try my best to catch-up over the next week or so as I’ve had an irresistible urge in the past few weeks to return to the blog to share thoughts and highlights of our humble and kinky lives.  And I know you’ve missed us…  J

Several weeks ago, after a 6-day absence from home, Goddess Selena returned with an intense need to express her dominance.  She had been home for barely a few hours before I was bound, blindfolded, on all-fours on our bed, and she was standing next to me with her two favorite canes, a traditional thin switch and a hard lexan purple cane.  She teased me, hurt me, and then totally owned me with what must have been 50 or 60 strokes.  I felt the tell-tale signs of deep subspace mid-way through as I relaxed against the bondage, and the skin on my back broke into a light sweat of surrender.

While my backside was still hot and tingly, and my mind engulfed in her power, Goddess Selena had me lie down on the bed and marked me as “Selena’s Bitch 4ever” with a Sharpie pen.  I could feel her beaming in dominant satisfaction through every inch of my body.

She followed up by taking out our largest insert able, and assaulted me anally in an irresistibly erotic and dominant way.  I was awash in wave after deeper wave of subspace, and at each higher level of sensations and surrender she brought me to a moment of nexus where I didn’t know if I could handle any more yet I didn’t want her to stop. Goddess Selena took her time to slowly run through virtually all of the vibrator’s settings before she felt the need to move on.

Without pause, Goddess Selena proceeded to remove just enough ties to allow us to make love with an intensity, if not a savagery, that I had not felt in a long time.  From the violence of our thrusting against each other to the intense nipple torture she loves to submit me to during our lovemaking, it was absolutely overwhelming on all levels.  Several minutes after we had ended, my mind was still moving and dizzy, like the sensation one gets stopping suddenly after turning around and around and around.

We went to sleep shortly thereafter, and Goddess Selena left me in bondage overnight.

Artwork courtesy of The Heart's Dark Desires

Humor in D/s and BDSM (E)

On New Year's Eve Day, after a few hours of "Coffee & Clamps!", my Goddess was in the mood to enjoy a brief caning at my expense. This was also an opportunity to bring out once more our "Holiday Cane." This is a hard red-and-white, twisted plastic cane, about 28" long, that we had gotten a few years ago, and that typically sees a fair amount of action over the holiday season.

My Goddess ordered me into a corner of the living room. I was already at her feet at that time, so I simply crawled over on all-fours as she pushed me over firmly with one of her knees. Once in the corner, I opened a cabinet where the canes are kept, and handed her the cane she requested, the Holiday Cane.

I presented myself to her in her favorite caning position, on my knees and elbows. She began by rubbing the cane over both sides of my backside, as something of a mental warm-up. And once the rubbing stopped, and the cane left my skin, the caning began.

She began with a few relatively mild strokes, despite the rigidity of the cane, but by the time I counted six, the strokes were coming in quite heavily. By the way, yes, I do count the strokes because during our caning play, sooner or later, my Goddess will ask me for a count. And if the number I give her feels inaccurate to her, well, let's just say that I'll be in big trouble...

And then stroke #7 came down. Heavy. #8. Heavier... that one had that reverberating-through-my-body feel to it. And then #9. CRACK! Even heavier than #8, with a burning sensation, but in the teeth-grinding-eyes-tightly-shut moment of the body reverberations, there was the realization of what had just happened. The cane was broken. We both heard the cracking sound, and the sound of the runaway 4-5" piece sliding on across the wood floor. We both started laughing, my Goddess quite heartily, me through the still heated sensations that had extended through my body beyond my backside.

Once we recovered a bit of decorum, my Goddess clearly was not done with me, and resumed. A bit more tentatively at first, getting a measure of what she had to work with. And then, as she ramped up the intensity, it happened again on stroke #14. The reverberating sensation from the point of impact, and... the cracking sound of the cane breaking once more, this time a 1.5-2" piece of the cane going off sliding across the floor. My Goddess had such a good laugh... joyful, defiantly evil, and dominantly satisfied. I also could not resist laughing, even if it was through the increasingly thick veil of subspace.

14 strokes was too short of a caning for my Goddess, though, and she continued until she reached 20. The rest of the cane held together. Once she was done, in her enthusiasm, I wasn't off my knees yet that my Goddess grabbed her phone and tweeted: "I just broke my candy cane on @SelenasDymion in 20 swats. I'll miss that festive little weapon, but I rock!"

Humor can be such an important and joyous part of BDSM play and a D/s relationship. Whether it's laughter during play itself or around a predicament, there's a magic about it in the eyes of my Goddess. And for me, it just intensifies the emotions, the sensations, and the subspace. The humor can be the result of a deliciously embarrassing situation, a physical or emotional response or moment that is wonderful and new, or just a totally quirky and unexpected event or moment, such as what happened to us just then.

Now, I have 10 months to find my Goddess another cane suitable for the holidays...

Image courtesy of www.young-goddess.com via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

The secret is... enthusiasm (E)

A Little Light Bondage by Sorceress2000, via Lunar Black

Enthusiasm expresses wants and needs, and wants and needs impose will. Enthusiasm is the collection of many little daily gestures and words that expresses my Goddess' dominance, and her enjoyment of our D/s relational dynamics. And the fun she has playing with her toy... me.

Enthusiasm is my Goddess...

...giving me a harsh look and barking "Where's your collar, Bitch!" if I take any undue time to offer her the locking collar upon my arrival home each day. It happens very seldom... but when it does...

...pointing at her feet, where she wants me to sit, when she is ready to smoke and wants me to hold the ashtray for her;

...telling me what she wants or what she needs, and it is absolutely clear in the tone of her voice, that she is expecting, without a shadow of a doubt, that I will do it for her or get it for her;

...taking hold of my hair or my collar, pulling me in close to her, exhaling her cigarette smoke in my mouth;

...suddenly grabbing me by the hair while I'm sitting at her feet on the floor, and walking me over to the other end of the living room, leaving me on all fours, and serving up 24 strokes with the paddle, followed by 24 strokes with the cane;

...deciding that I will serve as furniture, and putting her legs up on my shoulders when I am at her feet on the floor, or telling me I must sleep at a 90 degree angle to her so that she can lay her legs up over my torso to sleep more comfortably, or ordering me to sit behind her so she can recline against me while we watch TV;

...bursting out "I really want to hurt you!" during lovemaking, and she brings me to a thunderous orgasm as I simultaneously whimper from the nipple torture;

...finalizing plans to bring me out to have a tattoo identifying me as her property;

...telling me "You're getting tied up tonight!" and after binding my wrists to the headboard of the bed, leaving me bound until the time the morning alarm goes off;

...sitting on my stomach while I am bound, and marking my chest with dominantly possessive drawings and notes with different colored Sharpies, which will remain visible for 3-5 days.

Enthusiasm is... the secret to the magic of D/s. At least for us it is.

Iconic picture of Prodomme Mistress Juliet Taylor (who seems to have retired), found on Women with Whips

Under her spell - part 2 (E)

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Collar redux... and more locking jewelry (E)

Artwork courtesy of Nanshakh (http://www.nanshakh.com/)

My Goddess and I were out perhaps two hours yesterday, and as soon as we returned, the locking leather collar went back on. That puts the present running total at 62 hours out of the last 64.

My Goddess has not been feeling well these last few days, but she did have a little cabin fever, so we went out for a late lunch. After eating, we dropped by one of our favorite fetish shops, and picked up a beautiful metal locking neck chain for me. The idea behind the purchase was to get me a locking chain/collar that I could wear while working out. It has been a source of sadness for both of us that neither the leather collar or my mainstream collar/necklace could be used during athletic activities. Beyond the inappropriateness of the locking leather collar in vanilla settings, neither one of the collars would withstand the damage of working out for very long. Now, the new locking chain will forever be my companion in such activities, as it will much more resistant to perspiration, chlorine, and showering.

We tried the locking chain at the shop, had them shorten it by a few links, and within a few seconds of returning to the car with it, my Goddess placed it around my neck and locked it. At that time, I was already wearing my mainstream collar, so we returned home with me wearing both. Once home, I removed my mainstream collar, and my Goddess placed the locking leather collar on me. But as she was increasingly enthralled with the new locking chain on me, she chose not to remove it. And I have been wearing both my locking leather collar, and the locking chain, since that time (about 18 hours).

While we were in the fetish shop, my Goddess came across a new toy she couldn't resist getting... a "candy" cane. Shaped in the traditional cane form, about 24" long, it's made of two strands of plastic, one red and one white, twisted over each other. It looks like a a giant candy cane, but it's definitely meant for those who are naughty and not nice...

With some serious RL stress this week, and health issues, we haven't done much in terms of heavy playing. But I could tell last night during some light NT and CBT that between the new locking chain and the new cane, my Goddess' need to express her dominance in some more intense activities is about to boil over...

I know I'm obsessing over the whole collar thing these days, but their symbolism, and their physical presence just continually intensify such deep and powerful feelings in each of us. And it brings me to the realization that the only thing more intoxicating than being completely, obsessively in love with my Goddess is the intoxication of being the object of her love, her dominance, her lust...

Pushing limits: going above and beyond... real hard (E)

My Goddess and I once more had a wonderful day off together, going around town for a couple of meals, and checking out a few of our favorite stores on Black Friday. We actually hit the retail stores later in the day so that the crowds were less unpleasant, and we took the opportunity to check out some of our favorite kinky stores in case there was anything that inspired us.

Underlying this was a deep D/s tension, left over in me from the mood I expressed yesterday morning in my post, and in my Goddess as she has been just so hungry over the course of the last two weeks. To fuel her fire even more, she was quite pleased with my clean-up of our makeshift dungeon, and the twinkle in her eyes at the time I showed it to her clearly told me it wouldn't be long before we would be making use of it.

Once we returned home in the evening, my Goddess didn't waste any time before letting me know some serious play was coming my way. The locking collar was on as soon as I could get undressed, with the locking leather wrist cuffs right after. She clipped my hands behind my back, teased me with a little NT, and grabbing one of D-rings on my collar, she led me down to our little dungeon.

Once there, my Goddess forced me to my knees under the upper rack, unclipped my leather wrist cuffs for a second, and re-clipped them about 24-inches apart to the upper rack. She left me alone for about a minute to contemplate my predicament, turning off the lights and shutting the door, and telling me not to go anywhere, as she went to pick-up a few more toys.

Upon her return, my Goddess quickly took away my sight with a blindfold, and proceeded to some serious NT and CBT. Totally vulnerable, unable to protect myself, she just dropped me heavily into subspace from the intensity of the play, and the power of her voice. With some pinching, scratching, digging in of her nails, and some heat play from her cigarette, she quickly got the whimpers from me she so enjoys, and she told how hot they were in her best dominant, sexy, and stern voice.

My Goddess left me for a second time, very briefly, to pick-up some more toys. I was way deep into subspace by then, my surrender to her unconditional. As she returned after maybe 30 seconds, my Goddess unclipped my wristcuffs and had me turn around on my knees so that now I faced the wall. She re-clipped my wristcuffs to the same upper rack, and now she had full access to my back while I was on my knees, arms stretched above my head. With the rather severe position, the blindfold , and the collar, I think just the restraining part of the scene would have had me in deep subspace by itself.

But my Goddess had much more on her mind. I soon started feeling her tapping me with the cane across my buttocks. She warmed me up nicely, but within just 2 or 3 minutes, I felt some of the hardest and sharpest strokes I've ever felt her give me. Because of the angle produced by me being on my knees, in some cases the strikes from the cane occasionally extended onto the back of my thighs, and those really, really hurt. With little room to move, my body still squirmed a bit from the afterschock of the cane strokes. My Goddess teased me with little things like "Where are you going? You can't go anywhere." As much as the actual play, the control my Goddess exerted over me, and the expression of her dominance in both actions and words, totally engulfed me in her power.

My Goddess finished up with the cane with what were without a doubt the hardest 2 or 3 blows I have ever received. I could feel the sting at the point of contact spread from there to my entire body. It was physically overwhelming, mentally intoxicating, spiritually amazing... my Goddess was leading the way into new territory for us. I was all hers at this point, and she was taking me somewhere new, wherever she wanted.

Adrift in subspace like perhaps I'd never been before, I barely noticed the transition until my Goddess told me "And now, you're really going to get fucked", and I felt the tip of our thickest dildo/vibrator against my anal opening. Again, I can't describe the power in her voice... dripping in dominance and joyful sadism... so hot, so sexy, so dominant, so intoxicating.

My Goddess turned on the vibrating/pulsing functions of the vibrator, and quickly went to work on me. This was a new position for anal play for us, and a particularly intense one at that. It's one thing to be on all-fours on the bed, or lying on my belly, or lying on my back for anal play, it's a whole other thing to be on my knees spread apart by about 18 inches (and they were hurting a bit by then from both my weight and a some slight carpet burn), with my arms stretched out above my head, hands bound 24 inches apart. The anal play was phenomenal, even though the position was starting to take its toll on me. Despite being totally lost in subspace, by now without a doubt deeper than I had ever been before, I still had a moment of lucidity when I realized that I found myself up against the wall as my Goddess continued the anal play. My chest against the wall, my head against the wall, on my knees, my arms above me (and slightly behind me by then), my moans got so loud that my Goddess threatened to gag me. Of course, hearing her voice telling me she was going to do one more dominantly evil thing to me just added fuel to the fire. With every thrust of the dildo, I could feel the will of my Goddess overtaking me even more.

But something went wrong. I started feeling light headed, and that feeling of losing control was not a BDSM thing, it was a physical thing. It came up really quick on me, and i could feel myself slipping. I called out a safeword to slow down the scene, and followed up immediately by calling out another safeword to end the scene. I don't know quite what happened. I thought I had eaten a good meal just before. Although I'm pretty sure the scene hadn't gone an hour in length, maybe I was dehydrated from the intense play. Maybe I hyperventilated during the anal play. Maybe I didn't eat enough and my blood sugar plummeted from the play and its excitement. Or maybe it just wasn't a peak day for my body. Even great athletes aren't up to setting new records on any given day.

But regardless of why the scene had to come to a sudden end, at the moment it was called, and arguably for several minutes previously, my Goddess had taken me somewhere I'd never been before in terms of subspace, surrender, submission, and physical and mental intensity. NEVER. EVER. The severe bondage position... the hard NT & CBT... the very intense caning... the very rough anal play in a difficult position... the thick mood of dominance and submission... my Goddess' words and tone of voice... everything... absolutely everything... just made this the most intense scene ever for me.

I feel terrible that it had to come to an end that way, much more for my Goddess than for myself. The way the scene crashed in a matter of seconds, it scared the living daylights out of her. I should have communicated better during the scene. We were both building momentum so fast and so hard, and we should have exchanged more. I got lost in the scene, and should have mentioned we were going somewhere I hadn't felt before. It's easy to say that the dominant controls the scene, but the sub is the first one who can provide the feedback. And I got careless.

I was shaken after the scene ended, but had almost recovered before going to sleep. This morning, I relive the emotions of the scene with the peace and satisfaction of having made new discoveries, of having gone beyond where I had ever been before, even if I bumped into some new limits.

On my Goddess' side, I know she was shaken much more deeply, and has remained troubled since the scene ended. I hope that it won't discourage her from pushing limits in the future again. Obviously, pushing limits and expanding boundaries may not go smoothly all of the time. When one hasn't been down a certain road, it's more likely to get lost on it. But once one has made it through there, it's much easier to navigate that road in the future. Together, when we feel that kind of intensity coming on, we'll just have to up the feedback loop a few notches.

I have no second thoughts or bad feelings whatsoever about last night's scene. How can I? After what we reached... after where we went... I am, however, disappointed that I could not see it through for my Goddess, and sad that it scared her.

To a large extent, for myself, I'm kind of looking back at it like a mountaineer would look back at a higher peak that he had to turn away from because of bad weather. But the peak that was reached yesterday is one I will cherish forever.

When it just happens... part 1 (E)

Artwork courtesy of Flat Earth Social Club

We came back home from dinner last night after a pretty rough day at work for me. My Goddess allowed me to dispense from my traditional duties of preparing dinner, feeling that I needed a little break to ease out of work mode. It was wonderful to have some downtime to relax, get a chance to talk things out, and slowly forget about work stress and getting back to just the two of us.

Upon our return, as is our ritual, I took off most of my clothing, and brought my Goddess my collar and lock for placement around my neck. This time though, after the ritual of the placement and locking was completed, without allowing me to get up and asking her if there were any requests she had of me, my Goddess ordered to get a leather blindfold out of our toy chest, which I went to get crawling on my hands and knees. Suddenly, a wave of our dominance washed over me, and that delightful feeling of submissive anticipation set in my stomach as I brought the blindfold back to her, and she took away my sight.

Once the blindfold in place, my Goddess ordered me on all fours on the bed. Following that, she moved off the bed and soon came back with a chain, which she clipped from my collar to the top of the headboard. I was right where she wanted me.

The anticipation rose, as did the feeling of subspace, as I heard my Goddess rummage through our toy chest. Within maybe a minute, I felt the impact of the hard plastic violet cane on my backside. Gently at first, many little taps came down, and gradually she built up the intensity as she moved the strikes around. Then there were a few moments of pause before I realized with the next strike that my Goddess has switched to the flexible rattan cane. Once more she rained many little taps upon me, and slowly increased the intensity into harder, sharper blows.

My Goddess alternated back and forth between the two canes as I slipped further into submission and subspace. I could feel the waves of her dominant energy rise and wash over me as I reacted to the increasing harshness of the blows. I can't describe how intoxicating and addictive it is to feel the vibes of her dominant satisfaction when I feel her enjoying hurting me.

She took a short break for a cigarette, not missing the opportunity to tease me with it as I was vulnerable and kept in place by the collar and chain. She came in close, blew smoke in my face, and just let me drift into subspace as she took her time enjoying my predicament.

My Goddess then changed things up again by using her belt on my backside. A beautiful, studded leather belt, it came down on me heavy but with less sharpness than the canes had. But this lasted just a short while before she returned to the canes. At this point, I was so lost into her, into her dominance, and into subspace, that I can't remember which one of the canes she used.

But she continued on, and did so with a purpose... it was as if my Goddess was looking for a specific reaction... a reaction from me that would hit her dominant G-spot. Heavy blows, sharp blows, each getting a deep gasp from me, each getting larger movement from me, fighting the binding that kept me in position. I tried to stay steady, but the strain against the chain was obvious. And she continued on until she was satisfied, until she got the reaction she wanted out of me.

During the pause, I felt my backside warm and tingling all over. My mind was totally adrift in subspace, and my Goddess had brought me into the "I'll do anything for you you" zone.

And then, in a quick moment of lucidity, I heard her open a bottle of lotion...

Part 2: Impact testing (E)

Artwork courtesy of Sardax based on a portrait of Madame Ingrid

After finishing smoking, my Goddess unclipped the leather wrist cuffs from the top of the headboard of the bed, and untied my leather ankle cuffs from the footboard of the bed. She ordered me to get on all fours, on the bed, and while I still had my hands and feet bound, and remained blindfolded, I felt her get off the bed, and walk toward the foot of the bed.

Drifting heavily in subspace from the wax play, I stood on the bed, on knees and elbows, my mind clear, awash in the dominant mood of my Goddess, when I felt the first strokes of the crop on my backside. Sharp, loud strokes landed cleanly as she took us into the next part of our scene.

I was so lost into the moment that I had no idea what the stroke count was. At least half-a-dozen, maybe a dozen, until my Goddess switched out to the purple cane. Within a few strokes with the latter, I broke into a very light sweat, the usual sign that the pain from caning or paddling is taking me into another level of pain/pleasure and mindspace. My Goddess teasingly cooed that she is so terrible with the whole warm-up thing... she just doesn't have patience for it...

Another few strokes of the hard cane came down before my Goddess switched out once more, this time to the traditional springy cane. While not as heavy a feeling as the hard cane, the blows from this one were sharper, had a little more sting. She continued to enjoy my reactions of a little squirming, loud exhales, and trying to relax between the blows. I so wanted to take what she was dishing out because of the vibes of sadistic and dominant enjoyment I was feeling from her. I wanted to make her happy, I wanted to be her toy to do with as she pleased, I wanted to be there for anything that she wanted me to do. I didn't want her to stop... ever...

My mental submissive frenzy met reality sooner than later when one of her strokes just overwhelmed me and dropped me to my side. The impact shook my body, but I tried to get back to my position as quickly as I could. During that time, my Goddess reached over to grab the larger hard paddle, and started up on my backside with that one, a bit more gently at the beginning, as if to find her aim. And then she dropped me again.

Was that glee I was feeling coming from her? Was that giggling I was hearing? Laughing? I couldn't tell. And yet, the sadistic mood was impossible to miss, the energy impossible to ignore. I was lost in her dominance, lost in her power, vulnerable to anything she wanted, and I would do anything to give my Goddess everything she wanted.

I didn't really realize it at the time, but my Goddess continued switching back-and-forth between the two kinds of canes and the hard paddle... just a few strokes of each... continually increasing the intensity bit by bit. And then, she asked me to help her out with some comparison testing. I had to tell her which ones of the strokes hurt more...

First, she came down with a hard stroke from the hard violet cane. Once more the impact had me roll out of position, the shock running throughout my body. Even if I would not have been able to get back up, I had to... I couldn't let my Goddess down in the middle of her test. Next came a hard stroke with the regular cane. Again, I failed to maintain my position. The pain was radiating through my body from the spot where it had landed. Again I got up into position on my elbows and knees. Finally, a huge blow from the hard paddle landed... it shook my entire body to the core... it took me a few seconds to even realize I was laying on my side.

I didn't have to say anything... My Goddess had her answer. I wasn't even capable of getting back up immediately, and before the waves coursing through my body started to dissipate sufficiently for me to attempt getting back into position, my Goddess laid a hand on my hip to keep me down. Her appetite was sated... for now...

She came down next to me, gently caressing her pet in appreciation of the moments of pleasure I had provided her. After a few minutes of close and warm contact, as the fog of subspace slowly began to lift, my Goddess unclipped my wrist cuffs and my ankle cuffs, and made sure I was on my way to recovery. Another minute or two later, she removed my blindfold, and the incredible sights of her shining eyes and her wickedly beautiful smile fell upon me, and I moved in closer for her to hold me tighter.

My Goddess left the locked wrist cuffs and ankle cuffs, along my the locked collar, of course, on me throughout the course of the evening, through my usual domestic service (dinner, dishes, laundry, relaxation) and overnight, until I needed to get ready for work in the morning.

Total dominance, total ownership, total submission, total belonging... Within our intensely passionate love for each other. The most incredible feelings I could imagine...

New toys - part 1: pushing limits (E)

Artwork courtesy of
Flat Earth Social Club

Inspired by months of fun with my collar and leash, my Goddess has been wanting to get me a leash for my genitals. She figured that she would enjoy parading me around the house by it, and that it would allow her an extra measure of control over me when the mood came to her.

We hadn't really had much time to go shopping for non-essentials recently, but we did yesterday, and of course, looking to make her inspiration a reality was a temptation we couldn't resist. Among the very many things that we came across, we found a very cool C & B restraint with a D-ring that was just what my Goddess was looking for. And while it wasn't in the plans, little further browsing led to a 30" plexiglass/hard plastic violet cane also catching her eye.

While we often rush back home to try out our new finds, I had no thoughts of any immediate play while we were driving home until my Goddess told me she was in the mood for a nap with her best devilish smile. Remembering yesterday's pre-nap activities, I suddendly started feeling both a rush of adrenaline, and that feeling of my heart melting when my Goddess expresses her need for dominating me.

Once we got home, it didn't take very long before my Goddess had me in the C & B restraint, and attached a short leash to it. After also placing and locking my traditional collar around my neck, she pulled on the leash attached to the C & B restraint, and led me around the bedroom in a flagrant and oh-so dominant manner. Proud, satisfied, with a wicked smile reflecting her power over me, my Goddess was having entirely too much fun at that moment...

The walk ended when she had me climb back onto the bed, and attached the short leash to the top of the headboard of the bed... a new position for us. I was kneeling on the bed facing the wall, and the shortness of the leash attached to my genitals did not allow me to do much else, such as sitting back or going on all fours. While realizing my vulnerability in this new position, my Goddess came up behind me and placed a blindfold over my eyes, multiplying many-fold my sense of vulnerability. A slight gasp escaped me, and as subspace further came over me, she quickly tied my hands in front of me to the top of the headboard. I had very little room to move...

Predictably, my Goddess could not help herself from reaching for the new cane right away. She was evidently gentle with it at first, but its heft and its focused contact area were most definitely felt. After a few strokes on each side of my backside, she switched to other tools, but to be perfectly honest, I couldn't tell which ones with certainty. In a vulnerable and not very comfortable position, hands and genitals bound, and without sight, her first round with the cane already made me break into a light sweat, a tell-tale sign that limits were on the horizon... I was already deep into subspace, and she had barely started...

I think that the crop was next, and I'm pretty sure I remember the hard paddle, but I can't say how much of each. It did not take my Goddess much time to increase the intensity, and the strokes were coming down heavy. I felt the tug of the leash on every stroke from whatever movement I made in reaction. Mixed into the subspace, the physical sensations, and the overwhelming sense of surrender were the vibes I could feel coming from my Goddess that I can only describe as the joy and satisfaction of her dominance. The most intoxicating feeling in the world is the one I get when I feel her enjoying herself through me.

There was a brief pause, and as I was barely gathering my thoughts again, my Goddess lit a cigarette and tossed the lighter onto one of the bedside tables. Whether one would call it a gesture of superiority, defiance, empowerment, or total control, I could feel her dominance just in the noise that the lighter made hitting the table. She came back over to my side of the bed, blew a drag of smoke toward me, and resumed with the violet cane. Single harder strokes on one side and then the other, mutiple short strokes aiming for the same spot, going back to harder single strokes alternating sides, my Goddess kept at it until my backside had colors that satisfied her and showed memorable marks, and my reactions made her happy.

On my side, my limits were getting closer and closer. I broke into yet another light sweat. My movements were getting a little more accentuated, despite my best efforts. And yet, I didn't want to give up. I wanted to give her everything I had, everything I could, everything I was. Instead of trying to relax to deal with the pain my Goddess was inflicting upon me, I focused on relaxing to get into the waves of pain, to ride them, to enjoy them. I think this allowed me to go a little further than I had in the past. But the moment of the end came, without me being able to control it, when the last impact made my body jerk a little extra, and I toppled from my kneeling position, twisting off to the side because of the bondage.

My Goddess had gotten what she wanted...

The little (BDSM-y) things (E)

Artwork courtesy of Flat Earth Social Club... reminding me of moments when my Goddess calls me her toy...

I've enjoyed reading in the comments of the last few days how much some of you appreciate the value of the little things that make a relationship so special. At the same time, going back to my Goddess' posts, she is far too modest in the description and feelings of what she has done for me lately. So among all the little things she does that I enjoy so much, here are a few of the BDSM-oriented little things, most of which have only happened or come into their own in the last two weeks, that not only keep me in a constant state of intoxicated love and submissiveness to her, but increase my passion and addiction to her each and every day...

1. She wakes me up in the middle of the night with some NT and CBT because she needs me to provide her with sexual service...
2. She enjoyed me kissing her feet so much a few mornings ago, something that I did only when the mood seemed right, that she told me that kissing her feet was now a required part of our morning ritual...
3. She wakes me up in the middle of the night with some NT and CBT because... well, just because I'm there, and I'm her toy, and she feels like hurting me, and she wants to hear and feel my reactions...
4. She finds an opportunity every single day to pull me in by the leash very close to her and telling me "mine!"...
5. She decided that we couldn't have our weekend afternoon nap without me having some colors and and some marks on my bottom, so she warmed me up with a variety of paddles, and then used the cane until she was happy with her artwork...
6. She very rarely misses an opportunity to remind me of her control over me with some impromptu NT, regardless of where we are or what we are doing...
7. She always makes me feel that she enjoys the placing and locking of the leather collar on me each day, and me wearing the collar until the next time we leave our house, at least as much as I do...
8. And I just melt when, after she's locked the collar and I start pulling away slowly, she reaches over quickly to grab a hold of one of the D-rings, and she pulls me back in for a kiss... or two... or a dozen...
9. When she corrects me with playful dominant indignity that she's always right...
10. Anytime she pulls on my hair... just because...

When I'm missing her, "...I simply remember my favorite things..."

Special moments on another stop-over (E)

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