"... when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
-- When Harry met Sally
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
-- Carl Jung
Friday, December 30, 2011
My exploration of Twitter over the past few months has brought me to some fascinating places in terms of people and media. In particular, it's been interesting to see where Twitterscape and the blogosphere intersect, and where they don't. With no pretention of comprehensiveness or anything else than personal opinion, here are a few my favorite people, pics, and clips I wanted to share:
Favorite Tweeter: Dirk Hooper (@dirkhooper)
Website: Dirk Hooper Photography
A prolific tweeter and networker, Dirk seems like a very nice guy, easy and pleasant to communicate with. Some of his photography is quite stunning, and I'm particularly taken by the emotions of the moment he manages to capture in many of his pictures. His work is not strictly femdom, but even some of the non-femdom stuff is eye-catching. His blog's Fetishweek feature has been a cool read.
Favorite Fetish Tweeter: Teri Horne (@BootLadyTeri23)
Blog: Booted up
Teri also has a website, but I've been mainly taken aback by her many daily tweets on boot fashion or celebrities in boots. Absolutely superb. If you have a thing for boots, you have to check her blog regularly. Teri also tweets on glove fashion (she has a blog for that too).
Favorite Video from a tweet: Cigarette service
Website: Vinyl Queen
Tumblr: Worship Me
I never knew the legendary Vinyl Queen kept a Tumblr site. But I found out about it when she tweeted about a new post she put up back in October. A short but beautiful scene, where she is playful and yet totally in control. Absolutely unforgettable. And an intense flashback to some similar play between my Goddess and I.
Image from the Vinyl Queen Tumblr site
Saturday, December 17, 2011
So there we were at a family function this afternoon. I was in the living room, chatting with the husband of one of my Goddess' cousins. My Goddess walks into the room, snaps her fingers at me, and gestures me to join her, hinting that we have to step outside for her to smoke.
The fellow I was talking with begins to laugh as I stand up to join my Goddess and jokes "You've been summoned!"
He turns to her and exclaims "Now, that's good training!"
Not missing a beat, my Goddess replies: "You bet that's good training. You think they come out of the box that way?"
I felt a rush, a little wave of subspace, and quietly and proudly followed my Goddess out the front door.
Image courtesy of http://www.underherfeet.com/ via Slaves of the Goddess
Sunday, November 27, 2011
In the plethora of images in print and on the web related to BDSM in general, and female domination in particular, most are action-shots depicting an activity, a fetish, or perhaps a moment from a scene. While many are hot and enticing, most of them leave me somewhat unsatisfied. They feel not quite complete. In part, I think it's because they capture a certain physicality of what is depicted, but little else. Of course, I may be asking for too much from a single image.
However, occasionally, there are pictures that capture much more than a physical moment... they capture an emotional one. And that makes them rich and powerful, and they open the floodgates to remembrances of emotions lived before. The image that opens this post is one of them.
It brought back a flood of memories and emotions from some playtime my Goddess and I had a few weeks back, which I refer to in my last post, the product review on the Blue Spiral glass dildo. We had gone out a date where she looked absolutely stunning in a pin-stripe jacket over a nice white top, sexy dark grey tights, and her hot black high-heel boots. We had a wonderful dinner at a local Mexican restaurant, and when we returned home, it was clear she was feeling dominantly feisty.
Upon our return, after the daily placement and locking of my leather collar, my Goddess told me to fetch the leather wrist and ankle cuffs. She had them strapped and locked on my limbs in record time. Then she told me to pull out a leather blindfold, and to wait for her in bed, naked, on my stomach. My rapidly rising anticipation could barely keep up with the speed at which things were unfurling.
Once my Goddess walked into the bedroom, she quickly slipped and buckled the blindfold over my head, attached the wrist cuffs to the headboard of the bed and the ankle cuffs, about 30" apart, to the footboard of the bed. She sat on my lower back, reached under my chest, and began to torment my nipples with her fingers and her nails. Already sinking into subspace rapidly, I dropped even faster as I lay there bound and helpless, the pain from my Goddess teasing my nipples focused and amplified by the absence of distraction without sight. Her weight pressing down on me added even further to limiting my movements and my sense of helplessness.
Abruptly, she got off me, and walked away from the bed. The echoes of the sensations of the NT and her sitting on me,the feeling of her head and hair over my shoulder, eased the transition to the stark isolation of being alone and bound in the bedroom somewhat suddenly.
But it wasn't long before my Goddess returned. As I felt her to the side of the bed, a cold sensation came up my spine, over my shoulder, up my neck, and to my lips. Deep into subspace, I couldn't focus on what it was that she was teasing me with until she gently forced it beyond my lips and barely into my mouth. I then recognized the shape of the glass dildo that had been on her bedside table for many weeks, waiting to be used when the time and the mood was just right.
She pulled it out of my mouth, circling my lips again with it. I felt my Goddess standing next to me for a short while before she sat on the bed. A few seconds later, her fingers gently began lubricating a path for the Blue Spiral glass dildo down below. It wasn't long before I felt the pressure of the dildo against my anal opening, and I tried to relax best I could. Through little turning and in-and-out movements, my Goddess teasingly and skillfully worked the dildo inside me. In brief moments of focus as I kept feeling waves of subspace and deep intimacy wash over me, I could feel and hear her playful enjoyment to my reactions, to my movements, to my sounds.
Surprisingly quickly, the glass dildo was all the way in, and then she delighted in pulling it out a bit and pushing it back in to the hilt, and turning it inside me with the small knob/handle that is one of the characteristics of the Blue Spiral. Her movements took more amplitude and my reactions grew greater, and the latter grew even more as my Goddess' enthusiasm inspired her into more forceful movements.
She diminished of the intensity of the anal play over a few minutes, and then she stopped all together. Once more, rather abruptly, she got off the bed, told me not to lose the dildo, and walked away from me. I suddenly got worried through the fog of subspace that the glass dildo would slip out, but to my great surprise, it did not. In retrospect, the head of the dildo being quite a bit larger than the shaft, the dildo stayed in without any effort on my part.
I was taken out of subspace reverie by the smoke blown into my face by my Goddess. I had not heard her come back. Either she lit her cigarette in the next room, or I was so out of it that I didn't hear the lighter. Either way, she placed the cold metal ashtray on my back, sat on the bed next to my bound body, and enjoyed her cigarette, running her nails along my back, and occasionally, blowing more smoke in my direction. Every few drags, she would grab my hair, pull my head back and to the side, and exhale inside my mouth. When she does so, I know she expects me to take in all of her smoke, and I did my best not to let any escape until it was my turn to exhale. Twice during her smoke break, she brought the cigarette to my lips, forcing me to take a drag.
Barely a few seconds after my Goddess put out her cigarette in the ashtray on my back, I feel a sharp, hot impact on my lower back. It was the unmistakable impact of wax, heavy, hot, almost reverberating. By the smell, I could tell exactly which of the candles she was using too. This was one of those fragrant candles that we used to make the entire house smell nice. I think it was the cucumber-melon one. This would explain the intense heat of the drops that she was pouring across my back. The fragrance candles tend to have a higher oil content, and unless dropped from way high, they hit the skin much hotter. My Goddess regaled herself with the range of reactions I had to the drops, from deep moans in less sensitive areas like the back of my shoulders, to sharp inhales and exhales in more sensitive areas in fleshier parts like behind the kidneys.
One drop came down after another, sometimes in quick succession, sometimes with a few seconds in between. Sometimes she dropped them in a linear pattern, sometimes she dropped them in a seemingly random way. In between and during, my Goddess kept returning to teasing me and tormenting me with thrusts and turns of the dildo. If I would not have been so deeply lost in subspace, it might have all been overwhelming.
At one point, it all came to a gentle end. The hot wax stopped dripping. The glass dildo was gently removed. My Goddess ran her hands over my back, making something of a mess from the very soft wax. Oil-based scented candles tend to leave very soft, if not quite liquid, wax residue (easier but messier to remove.) And then, she tenderly caressed my hair and came in close to give me a long hug as part of the usual aftercare.
It is this very time that came back to me when I saw the picture opening this post. It spoke to me of a very special moment, full of intimacy and satisfaction. It felt like recovery from intense emotions and sensations. Of course, it has none of the toys or gear, or mess, from our playtime. But the look on the woman's face is just what I would have expected to see on my Goddess' face if I could have looked at her. And his body posture is just what I imagine mine would look like slowly coming out of subspace.
My mind wandering to that evening, I was reminded vividly of the intimacy of anal play with my Goddess. Of the energy she emanates when she expresses her dominance is such a physical way. Of how magical it is to feel her enjoyment during our playtime.
Image courtesy of Hello High Heels via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress
Sunday, November 20, 2011
A while after our first review for them, Kayla at EdenFantantasys generously offered us another product to field test and review. My Goddess and I settled on the Blue Spiral, a superb looking dildo that tweaked our curiosity.
My Goddess has a real passion for taking advantage of me with anal play. She loves the sounds I make, and my reactions to what she does to me. Our small collection of strap-ons and dildos are among her favorite items of our BDSM toy collection. On my side, I find submitting to her in anal play one of the most intimately submissive part of what we do, whether she simply delights in teasing me and tormenting with a dildo while I'm in bondage or she fucks me until she reaches orgasm wearing a strap-on. The Blue Spiral interested us because of its different shape and pattern, we did not yet have a glass dildo in our collection, and it was an opportunity to try out something just a bit different.
As usual, we were very excited when the item arrived by mail. Who doesn't get a rush checking the mailbox and finding a package that is likely going to be a sex toy? I brought it in, and waited for my Goddess to be ready for us to open it together. Once we pulled it out its package, we loved its heft, its feel, and its presentation.
The Blue Spiral came in a nice velvety-feeling bag with drawstrings. As you would expect from a glass item, it was heavy and very rigid. The head was significantly larger than the shaft, and all of its grooves were very smooth and sensual. There are four grooves length-wise along the head of the dildo, and the actual blue spiral around the shaft. And then, there's the little knob... Back to that later.
For those of you who like specs, here is a recap of the web page of the Blue Spiral:
Material: Pyrex glass; food-grade material, hypo-allergenic, latex free, non-porous, phthalates free
Texture: nubbed, swirled, textured head
Length: 5 3/4"
Insertable length: 3 3/4"
Circumference: 4 3/4"
Diameter: 1 1/2"
Weight: 9 oz
Once we examined it, and talked about all the possibilities, we placed the Blue Spiral back into its bag, and put it on my Goddess' bedside table so that it would be handy whenever she got in the mood to use it. But there it stayed for quite a while. Unfortunately, despite the excitement, the usual issues of health, work, and business road trips that have plagued us for much of this year (as witnessed by the scarcity of our posts) got in the way.
But two weekends ago, my Goddess and I went out on a date. She looked stunning wearing a pin-stripe jacket over a nice white top, sexy dark grey tights, and black high-heel boots. We had a wonderful dinner together, and when we returned home, she was in the mood for some extended playtime. This included some bondage while I was kept blindfolded, hot wax, NT, smoking play, and of course, our new Blue Spiral glass dildo. The full details of that session will be the subject of an upcoming post.
By the time my Goddess pulled the Blue Spiral, she had me blindfolded, lying on my stomach on the bed, with my wrists tied to the headboard, and my ankles tied to the footboard of the bed, feet about 30" apart. She ran the glass dildo over my back, up my neck, and over my lips. It was a mysterious sensation, one I did not recognize until she put it against my lips, and I felt the coolness and hardness of the glass. Knowing then what my Goddess had in her hands, my already high-level of anticipation heightened, and I dropped deeper into subspace.
It had been a while since we had done some anal play. I tried to remain relaxed so that I wouldn't give my Goddess too much trouble with her plans. But the Blue Spiral slipped in much easier than expected, especially considering that its head is a fair diameter. I think the shape of its head, along with the length-wise grooves and the smoothness of the glass, all contributed to making it easy for my Goddess to insert it.
My Goddess had no trouble whatsoever in moving the glass dildo inside me, pulling it back, thrusting with it, or spinning it inside me. The end-knob/handle seemed to provide her with an ease of use that was far better than anything else we've had a chance to play with. 10 out of 10 for ease of use.
At one point, my Goddess went over to get a candle for wax play. I was not aware of that at the time, but before leaving my side, she did tease me not to let the Blue Spiral slip out. I got a little worried because I have a tendency to uncontrollably eject anal toys fairly quickly unless there is pressure kept on them. I was just hoping to relax enough so that most of it would still be in by the time she would return. To my great surprise, and relief, the glass dildo did not move. My guess is that the head is sufficiently large in contrast to the shaft that the body will close/tighten past the head, around the shaft, and it minimizes the body's natural tendency to push it out. That was a first for me!
The sensations from the glass dildo itself were awesome. The Blue Spiral isn't overly wide or long, but it's still quite pleasurable/enjoyable. I felt everything my Goddess did with it... the aforementioned thrusting, pulling back, turning, and spinning. Of course, the fact that she was doing it at least as much for her enjoyment as for mine made it all the more D/s fantastic.
I give it top marks for its size. We do have other dildos that are more intense, but they are either longer and/or larger, and nowhere as easy to handle. This one was lots of sensations in a fairly small dildo. Overall, this was an awesomely fun and easy toy to play with. Two thumbs up from me.
My Goddess absolutely loved it. She found it very easy to handle, and very easy to get the reactions out of me she loves so much. She enjoyed how smoothly it slipped in, how easy it was to move it around with the little end-knob/handle, and she loved how it would stay in me within needing to keep pressure on it all the time. She definitely gave it two thumbs up. And I must say that cleaning it up was a cinch. Hooray for glass!
Our gratitude to EdenFantantasys for giving us the opportunity to review their Blue Spiral, and for Kayla's patience with us. It turned out to be a superb piece that will undoubtably see regular action when the mood for anal play strikes my Goddess. Perhaps the best toy we have reviewed yet!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
My tweeting over the course of the last month or so has turned out to be a rather satisfying experience. In a similar way that praying or meditating several times a day will do wonders to cleanse the soul, the heart, and the mind, and reinforce important principles, so I have found it to be with tweeting about our relationship, our activities, and our moods. Taking a minute or two to reflect, formulate my thoughts into words, and send the tweet has given me a chance to focus on the wonderful love and D/s relational dynamics we have. Often at least once a day, sometimes twice a day or more.
It has given me the chance to playfully express and share the obsession I have about my Goddess. An obsession that is not abating in the least as we are several years into our relationship. Never let anyone tell you that the magic of a relationship inevitably fades after the first 6-12 months. With the right chemistry, a little TLC, a little effort, good communications, a sense of exploration, and lots of kissing, the magic can keep growing far past expectations.
It is not as deep a meditation or contemplation as I go through when I sit down to write a post here in our blog. But the ease and speed of sharing on Twitter has been rather attractive, and I have found it a nice way to share and let my Goddess know what I'm feeling on a regular basis.
We have not really talked about our use of Twitter. My Goddess has not imposed a number of daily tweets on me (although that could be hot!). But she does seem to enjoy the tweets when they come through, or when she catches up to them. And I absolutely love reading her tweets.
For me, tweeting is a different and complementary form of tribute to my ever-growing love for my Goddess, to my evermore addictive obsession with her. Despite the incredible challenges we have faced together, despite the many challenges that we have faced in health, work, and more, I am hopelessly devoted to her. She is unconditionally loving, affectionate, and supportive of me. She is smart, witty, funny, and creative. And of course, there's that whole sexy, hot, and dominant thing going on. How can I not adore her?
I don't tell my Goddess often enough how much I love her. How much I'm infatuated with her. How much I think of her all the time. How much I adore. How every little thing she does is magic. Hopefully my service and obedience to her, along with my blogging and tweeting, and the times that I do tell her verbally and try to shower her with affection, all give her a good sense of how much I love her, and appreciate everything she is for me.
Image courtesy of Fine Erotica via Slaves of the Goddess
Monday, October 10, 2011
Over on the right side of our blog... Upper right... Go head... Take a look... You'll notice something new... Our tweets...
To make up for the fact that it's been difficult to write good posts more than a few times a month (and we'll still work on posting here more often), we decided to see how the spur of the moment, stream of consciousness thing would work for us.
Sadly, no deep reflections, no hot pictures, no detailed descriptions. Just a what's-happening-in-the-moment, a what's-being-felt-in-the-moment kinda thing. In 140 characters or less. Should find time for that!
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Friday evening a week ago I asked my Goddess, "So... what are the plans for tomorrow?" Just one of those the-week-is-over-I-can't-wait-to spend-more-time-with-you moments.
She immediately exclaimed, "Coffee and clamps!" And she did so with the playfully evil, dominant smile that melts my heart and makes me weak in the knees.
Of course, our day-off morning ritual is a sacred part of our D/s relationship. I shared some of the basics at first in Morning Routine: The Daily 10, and provided some updates in Pushing Our Morning Ritual, in addition to occasionally providing references to our morning ritual in other posts.
I must admit, I found it heartwarming for my Goddess to remind me with so much enthusiasm how much she enjoys our D/s based interactions, play, and rituals, and how important they are to her. Of course, it was also tantalizingly subspacey for me to anticipate what was to come. I had a torrent of flashbacks running right then through my mind of key moments of the ritual... preparing her coffee, bringing it to her, and offering her the leash attached to my locked leather collar... sitting at her feet while she enjoys her coffee and a cigarette... holding the ashtray while she smokes... waiting for her to tell me "Coffee, Bitch!" when it comes time for a refill... and during all this time, wearing the nipple clamps she expects to see from the moment I present her with the very first cup of coffee, and keeping them on during the entire time of our morning ritual.
In fact, the clover clamps will remain until my Goddess finishes her third cup of coffee (she SO loves her coffee!) If she's feeling especially evil, and in the mood for a little more coffee (by now, the switch to decaf has already happened), she may even have a fourth cup before she removes the nipple clamps. Well before the third cup, the dull ache from the clamps has become a sharp pain that stabs my nipples with every movement I make.
The reality of the morning that followed was everything I anticipated, and more. Sometimes, predictibility is not a bad thing at all... It gets the butterflies going in your stomach, it gets a little wave of subspace washing over you, and it keeps your mind racing for hours and hours.
Oh... I almost forgot. And then, when it came time to remove the nipple clamps, my Goddess twisted them, pulled on them, pushed them to the sides, and only after tormenting my nipples like this for an extra minute or two did she finally remove them. But she wasn't done yet. She then used her fingers and nails to do even more NT, and continued until I could no longer hold back a whimper from the delicious pain she inflicted upon me. This is also an essential part of our morning ritual. It makes her happy. Especially the whimper.
We are both off from work today. My Goddess is still spleeping at the moment, but I can't wait for her to wake up and tell me, "Coffee, Bitch!" so that we can do this all over again.
Image courtesy of Pantyhose Supremacy via Lunar Black
Sunday, September 18, 2011
So... I had a few errands to run this morning. Since I always wake up quite a bit earlier than my Goddess, the idea was that I would be out of the house and back before she got up. Wearing the locked leather collar would not be an issue this early in the morning in this wet and cold weather.
Two things changed the plans. The first are the bound hands. Last night, before going to sleep, my Goddess asked for some rope, and bound my wrists with a simple 7-coil column tie for the night. The tie was constraining and inescapable, with just enough room to allow for some movement during sleep and to never cut off circulation. Once my wrists were tied, she ordered me into one of her favorite sleeping positions. I was to be on my side facing her, and place my thighs under her knees as she lay on her back. Then, she grabbed the area of rope between my wrists, pulled it over to her chest, and gently fell asleep.
The previous evening, I was placed in a very similar situation but with metal handcuffs instead of rope. Much earlier in the evening, right after dinner, my Goddess had asked for the handcuffs so that I would be bound during our TV watching. She also took the opportunity to use me as furniture. I sat in the corner of the sofa, she lay back against me, and she had me loop my arms around her, so that I had no choice but to hold her and hug her throughout our time watching television. For as long as she wanted. The only interruptions came when she wanted to smoke, at which point I moved to the floor at her feet and held the ashtray. And my Goddess left the handcuffs on for the night's sleep.
This morning, she woke up briefly as I was going to get out of bed. I thought that she would remove the rope keeping my wrists bound, but she told me that we would catch up on errands later. She wanted me here, at home, when she woke up. With that, she fell back to sleep, and I quietly walked away from the bedroom.
So here I am at home, prisoner of my Goddess' love and dominance. My long house leash is attached to my locked leather collar (so that she can tug and pull me in if she needs anything), with my ever-present Eternity Collar below/under, my wrists are tied in a beautiful column tie, and I am catching up to our blog... slowly. The tightness of the column tie only allows me to type with one hand. You probably have no idea how challenging it is to select text for cut-and-paste into Word for final spell-checking (I find Blogger's annoying), or for hyperlinking with just one hand, unless you've been placed in that predicament. Just opening the laptop was a bit of a challenge (fingers only on one side until I could open the laptop far enough to wedge my left elbow to leverage the top and bottom open.)
I will try to do more productive things around the house, but the range of things I can do is rather limited. Even taking down my underwear and pulling them back on after using the toilet is a mini-ordeal. Try pulling up the back of your underwear with only 1-1.25" between your wrists. Hand-washing dishes is impossible.
I went to wake up my Goddess at her appointed cut-off time, but she decided to sleep-in a little longer, so I ended up another hour in partial bondage. It gave me time to nearly finish this post.
Once my Goddess did get up for our morning ritual, I let her know that I would be unable to present her with her coffee with the nipple clamps (as is the routine) while my wrists were still bound. She looked at me with a wonderfully dominant grin, and decided that was alright. "I'm enjoying my rope" she told me playfully.
I love being in bondage for my Goddess' enjoyment. I love being in her control. I love being her play toy. Of course, part of it is about how it fulfills my need for submission, for my submission to her, for her attention, for my Goddess to express and display her dominance toward me. But even more, I love to make her smile. I love to make her feel that I belong to her. I love to make her feel sexy. I love to give her the opportunity to express and display her dominance. I love to make her feel that I am totally devoted to her. I love to make her feel that I would do anything for her, and do it with all my heart. And this is why we so enjoy anything we do together.
Image courtesy of Femdom Proper via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress
PS: If you try the overnight wrist bondage with a column tie, make sure there is sufficient room once you secure the knot in order make sure that it will not cut-off circulation even as the arm positions change during sleep. More coils gives you more flexibility while keeping the tie secure. And if you try going overnight with handcuffs, make sure they have a locking mechanism, otherwise pressure on them may inadvertendly click them too tight, which may affect circulation. Play hard but play safe...
Friday, September 9, 2011
Enthusiasm expresses wants and needs, and wants and needs impose will. Enthusiasm is the collection of many little daily gestures and words that expresses my Goddess' dominance, and her enjoyment of our D/s relational dynamics. And the fun she has playing with her toy... me.
Enthusiasm is my Goddess...
...giving me a harsh look and barking "Where's your collar, Bitch!" if I take any undue time to offer her the locking collar upon my arrival home each day. It happens very seldom... but when it does...
...pointing at her feet, where she wants me to sit, when she is ready to smoke and wants me to hold the ashtray for her;
...telling me what she wants or what she needs, and it is absolutely clear in the tone of her voice, that she is expecting, without a shadow of a doubt, that I will do it for her or get it for her;
...taking hold of my hair or my collar, pulling me in close to her, exhaling her cigarette smoke in my mouth;
...suddenly grabbing me by the hair while I'm sitting at her feet on the floor, and walking me over to the other end of the living room, leaving me on all fours, and serving up 24 strokes with the paddle, followed by 24 strokes with the cane;
...deciding that I will serve as furniture, and putting her legs up on my shoulders when I am at her feet on the floor, or telling me I must sleep at a 90 degree angle to her so that she can lay her legs up over my torso to sleep more comfortably, or ordering me to sit behind her so she can recline against me while we watch TV;
...bursting out "I really want to hurt you!" during lovemaking, and she brings me to a thunderous orgasm as I simultaneously whimper from the nipple torture;
...finalizing plans to bring me out to have a tattoo identifying me as her property;
...telling me "You're getting tied up tonight!" and after binding my wrists to the headboard of the bed, leaving me bound until the time the morning alarm goes off;
...sitting on my stomach while I am bound, and marking my chest with dominantly possessive drawings and notes with different colored Sharpies, which will remain visible for 3-5 days.
Enthusiasm is... the secret to the magic of D/s. At least for us it is.
Iconic picture of Prodomme Mistress Juliet Taylor (who seems to have retired), found on Women with Whips
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Just took a little time over the weekend to do a much-needed update of the resources on this blog.
We're quite proud of the resources on this blog. And you, the readers, have given us many compliments about the art we choose for our blog entries, something we take to heart. The links to blogs, photography sites, specialty sites, and commercial sites are meant to provide inspiration and understanding, bring to light a range of fetishes and lifestyle choices, share some beautiful BDSM artwork, and list educational resources. And yeah... I guess some of it may be good wanking material.
It is by no means a comprehensive list. There are a number of fetishes and lifestyle choices that are not represented here, primarily because we're not into them... no disrespect intended to those that are. Even among those things we are interested in, or participate in, it would be foolish to even think that, in these times of exponential growth of the internet, it would be possible to document them all.
So as we come across material that we enjoy and/or appreciate, just like taking pictures of things that catch our eye on a road trip, we try to make note of what we like, put it somewhere we'll remember, and share with those that may have a similar interest.
This weekend's clean-up was about deleting sites that had been closed, sites that had become inactive and had lost their interest for us, and adding some new sites. The pictures that book-end this entry are from some of our recently added links. If you catch any link that is not active anymore on our blog, we'd like for you to let us know. The number of links listed has become a little unwieldy, and very large for us to manage, and we may not always notice in a timely manner.
We know that not all of you have websites or blogs, and among those of you that do, not all of you keep a list of resources related to femdom relationships, femdom play, and femdom activities. If you come across anything of note and you won't list it yourself, please feel free to leave us a comment listing the link, or send us an email. We won't guarantee that we'll list it if we feel it is an awkward fit for us, but we'll certainly consider it. We especially want to hear from you if you have a blog or website of (femdom) interest, and you'd like us to list you. We love highlighting things, new and old, that may be of interest to our readers.
In the meantime, we hope you keep enjoying our blog, and its resources, and if you have any feedback, or thoughts you want to share with us, go ahead and drop-in for a while.
Image courtesy of I am Mistress Becca
Saturday, September 3, 2011
I still recall vividly the day I was collared by my Goddess. It was a very special moment that I remember with much pride, warmth, and humbleness. A few short weeks after that turning point in our lives, it was determined that I would always wear a locked leather collar when I was with her in the house.
Several years later, the meaning of our very private collaring ceremony, and later, of our daily collaring, so that I am collared in her presence at all times (when away from the public), is as significant and meaningful as it has ever been. My commitment to my Goddess, her well-being, her happiness, and her fulfillment, remains unwavering. The sense of warmth, of purpose, and of belonging I feel being my Goddess' collared submissive/toy/pet is as powerful and intense as ever.
Our locking leather collar was a classic design. It was all black leather. Made from a one-piece strap, it was 1.25" wide, had 3 D-rings, and it had a locking buckle. The collar was elegantly classic (in a BDSM kind of way), firm, ungiving, strong yet flexible... all qualities shared by the person to whom it was a tribute to... my Goddess.
But it had to be retired recently after well over two years. Wear and increasing difficulties in cleaning it thoroughly led us to the decision to find another locking leather collar.
The collar had a good life, saw much use, and was an important part of our lives. There were short evenings and nights when I wore it only five or six hours. There were also long weekends when I wore it over 80 hours out of a possible 84 hours or so. It was always on when we were home together, and often it was worn for fetish events. Occasionally it was worn for quick errands (alone) or discreet outings (with my Goddess) on cold weather days.
On days when both my Goddess and I were at home, the collar often had a leashed attached to it. There were many, many moments when my Goddess grabbed the middle D-ring to pull me close to her and said to me in no uncertain way "Mine!"
There were times when my Goddess fell asleep next to me holding on to the middle D-ring. There were other times when she clipped my cuffed wrists to the side D-rings in order to get my hands and arms out of the way as she tortured my nipples with her lit cigarette, used several small and large clothespins for some CBT, dropped hot wax all over my chest, applied temporary tattoos, wrote notes of dominant and possessive love over my chest and back, or decided to do some facesitting.
So often I ran my fingers over the locking buckle and lock, feeling how secure they were, playing with them, tugging on them, and reveling in my Goddess' control.
Now, we have a new collar. Black and purple (the latter being my Goddess' favorite color), it is made from two straps. The top, wider (1.25") strap is black, and the bottom, narrower strap (1.00") is dark purple. It has a fixed central D-ring, and two more floating D-rings. It has purple stitching. And of course, it has a locking buckle. It is made from softer leather, but the two straps composing it and the finished lining make it a bit heavier. It isn't quite as firm as the previous one, but just as ungiving.
We both really like it, and it certainly feels like a worthy replacement. And it will certainly be interesting to see what new collection of moments will come to be during the course of the next few years with this new collar.
Image courtesy of Slaves of the Goddess
Sunday, July 24, 2011
It's very early in the morning, still dark outside. I've barely been awake for 60, maybe 90 seconds. I walk into the bathroom to start getting ready for the work day. I turn on the light over the mirror. As I wait for my eyes to adapt to the intensity of the light before opening them, I reach over with one hand to the area on the opposite arm just above the wrist. I feel ridges. Five of them. Rope marks... still etching my flesh from having my wrists bound over night. I slowly open my eyes as they are ready for the light. I now see the marks on the arm I am running my fingers over, and on the other arm reaching over. The rope marks are beautiful. I get that familiar feeling of warm-desperate-submissive-clingy-adoration for my Goddess inside me. For just a little while longer I will be able to see and feel the desire and will of my Goddess to make me hers... to keep me as her toy... to control her boy... to dominate her boy...
My Goddess bound my wrists the previous evening, as we sat down to watch television together. She loves using me as furniture as we watch TV, and she particularly enjoys doing that while there is an element of bondage present. In this case, I sat at the corner of the sofa after she bound my wrists together. She sat close against me, reclining on me, and my bound hands over and around her put me in a forced hugging-her-from-behind position for the duration of the time we remained in the living room.
We both so enjoy these moments of closeness, even more so because of the D/s elements added to them.
After a few hours, before we went to bed, my Goddess tightened the column tie for the night, making sure it was tight enough to be secure and inescapable, but not so tight it would cut circulation.
While we slept, I could feel her occasionally grabbing hold of the binding, pulling it close to her, simultaneously symbolically stating "Mine!", and reminding me I was under her control and that I couldn't go anywhere without her letting me go. And that's a feeling that I keep with me all the time...
Image courtesy of Slaves of the Goddess
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Recent changes to my professional life, and a related huge increase in commuting distance, has led to very long work days for me. I don't have any issues whatsoever with the work commitment... a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. But I am saddened by having less time to spend with my Goddess. Not only actual physical time, but prime quality time. When I get home 12-13 hours after having left for work, I'm afraid that my energy level may not be all that it could be. Certainly not every single day. But that’s something I’m aware of, and during the commute back, I’ll mentally prepare to be the very best I can for my Goddess. And I’ll strive to catch up and exceed her expectations on my days off.
That being said, my biggest worries are actually elsewhere. Two of the greatest threats to any relationship, vanilla or D/s, are what I call the two Ds: disconnection and doubt. Lack of prime quality I’m-so-into-you-and-I-can’t-be-without-you-for-a-single-second time, over days, and weeks, and months, can take its toll. It creates gaps in each other’s live. It leaves needs that inevitably get filled in other ways, sometimes even by other people.
In addition, extended periods away from those we love also create a creeping sense of doubt. Where are they? What are they doing? Who are they with? Do they really have to be there? Can they really not be here with me? While good communications, and a commitment to openness and transparency, can help tremendously in minimizing this creeping feeling of doubt, and the threat it represents to trust, it remains that relationship trust is a fine crystal wine glass that once cracked, or chipped, will never, ever be the same.
So will that in mind, a little over a week ago, I offered to my Goddess the use of a smart phone tracking app… that would allow her to track my locations and movements at all times. Whether the app is running in the background of my smart phone, or my Goddess pings me for confirmation of my location and status, or I provide regular status updates, she will know where I am, and what I’m likely to be doing, at all times that cell phone signal is available.
My Goddess has received my offer with much enthusiasm, and the introduction of this “Invisible Leash” into our lives has been very successful up to now, although I think that she will be experimenting with a number of other apps to see which one will give her the level of control she desires.
Her frequent checks on my location and status, and my regular updates of the same, have kept us discreetly in close touch throughout the course of each day. Each ping, each check, each update, is a reminder of our caring for each other, of our love of each other, and a reinforcement of our D/s relational dynamics.
The quasi-constant contact is likely reassuring and comforting for my Goddess. It is reassuring for me too, since I feel that we remain ever-present in each other’s mind. In fact, a few times after responding to her checking in requests, I reached up to the Eternity Collar permanently fixed around my neck, touched the ungiving stainless steel, and enjoyed the warm feeling of remembrance of my belonging to my Goddess.
My hope is that the “Invisible Leash” will help maintain our incredible sense of connection, and stave off, if not eliminate, the creeping feelings of doubt that increasingly come up as relationships age. And besides, it’s so hot when my Goddess is in a controlling mood…
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Every morning that my Goddess and I leave for work at a similar time, we have a delightful ritual that we go through. It is a splendid, and very special, way for us to start off the day, renewing and reinforcing our D/s dynamics.
The alarm goes off on my bedside table. I get up, grab a few special items, and move to the kitchen to prepare my Goddess' coffee. While it's brewing, I clip the chrome and leather leash to my leather collar still locked from the previous evening... my Goddess enjoys holding on to, and tugging on, the leash to keep me close to her feet during morning coffee time. And I clip the clover clamps to my nipples... my Goddess loves to randomly tug on the chain to get my attention, or just because she enjoys the reaction she gets from me.
Once the coffee is ready, I bring it to a side table in the living room. I head back into the bedroom to wake up my Goddess gently, and let her know that everything is ready for her. Finally, I return to the living room and sit on the floor next to her usual spot on the sofa, while waiting for her to get up, go to the bathroom, and make her way next to me where, in a matter of a few minutes, my Goddess will enjoy her coffee, along with a cigarette, while watching some television before getting ready for the day.
Today's Moment of the Day:
Our ritual this morning pretty much followed the usual routine except for one variation... a small but oh-so-powerful twist that stayed with me all day.
As I went back the bedroom to wake up my Goddess after I prepared her coffee, she ordered me to remain next to the bed while she went to the bathroom. Upon her return, she firmly grabbed the leash, pulled it downwards to force me to get on all-fours, and walked toward the living room, pulling on the leash.
Immediately, I had a small wave of subspace come over me as I tried to keep up to my Goddess. I focused on her naked feet and ankles, extending below her bathrobe, as she led me on the leash. Once we got to our respective spots in the living room, she sat down on the sofa, and I sat on the floor at her feet. She shortened her hold on the leash, giving me just enough room to reach for the cigarettes.
And then the ritual got back on course. I lit her cigarette, gave it to her, reached for the ashtray, and held it while she enjoyed both her cigarette and her coffee, and watched a few minutes of television before getting ready for her work day.
While our morning ritual is full of D/s symbolism and dynamics, this morning's seemingly simple additional gestures had a lasting impact on me throughout the day. Perhaps it was just the element of newness to a well-established ritual. Perhaps it was the suddenness and forcefulness of her actions, taking me by surprise. Perhaps it was the specific nature of her actions, triggering specific sentiments. Is there anything more quintessentially femdom in imagery and emotion than a submissive/slave being led on a leash by his beautiful dominant mistress? It is likely elements of all three. But I do know that it was wonderful to be swept by that small wave of subspace, to remain a bit tense anticipating what else may be coming up, to be in the control of my Goddess I crave so much. And I know that just as much as ever before, every little thing she does is magic...
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
We have succumbed to our work life lately. More time with laptops, phone calls to make, and just in general we have been preoccupid with vanilla life. At first, it was depressing me. But now, I see it as an opportunity for growth.
I had a particular wake up call last week that has really made me think. I realized I needed to stop worrying about my lack of activity as it pertains to me and really focus on what that was doing to him. My conclusion -- This down time is going to give me a chance to make a fresh start in our deliciously romantic BDMS lifestyle.Dymion has been so patient though I know his desire and attraction for me have not waivered. He has waited for his Goddess to workout her stress and health issues without complaint. Damn, he is the most wonderful man. I miss the smile he gets when he know something sinister is not far off on the horizon. I love the look of vacantness when he finds his subspace. I love that adoringingly gentle look in his eyes when a scene ends and it is just the two of us holding one another quietly. I need these things back...for both of us. It is who we are and how we connect. I am putting all my efforts in bringing us back to the days of pure delight and intrigue. I am quite confident we will get there.
I would be interested to hear if any of our readers have ever gone through these phases. I know it has nothing to do with losing interest, life just gets in the way. So, how did you bounce back? I know we are all different, but I have noticed that many of our readers are like us...couples who love each other madly and find an intimacy in BDSM/power exchange that cannot be matched by any other rituals. So talk to me...help me work through this and help me get back to the days where my dymion was paralyzingly obsessed with his Goddess.
One final point, Dymion and I have not once doubted we belong together through the down times. I just love him more than ever and I want to make our other connection even stronger.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Indeed, having something to help me provide my Goddess with pleasure through her G-Spot held a great appeal to both of us. First, anything to provide her with stimulation, joy, and satisfaction is important to me. After all, among my many duties in serving my Goddess, her sexual pleasure and the quenching her desires are critically important. Second, my Goddess reacts very readily to clitoral stimulation, but G-Spot stimulation has been much more of a challenge for a number of reasons. What better way for us to explore this area than to get something that is specially designed for that. Sharing our impressions and comments, and providing a review of the Silky G in exchange for the opportunity to play with an item that seemed to open new orgasmic avenues for my Goddess, was a deal we couldn’t pass up.
Of course, we were very excited when the item arrived by mail. There is a distinctive sense of anticipation one gets when waiting for items of a sexual nature by mail. And as soon as it arrived, we quickly took the item out of its package, and we were very impressed by the presentation.
The Silky G comes in a superb box that really makes it look like it is going to be something special. The box is metal, with a see-through top, and with two metal clips keeping it shut. This is definitely one of most distinguished storage we have for any of our toys.
When we took the actual vibrator out of the box, clearly this wasn’t your run-of-mill vibrator. Its unique shape, velvety texture, and good size give it a distinctive feel, and a pair of AA batteries gave it a rather good heft.
The full specs are available here, but the quick version is as follows:
- Food-grade material / Latex free / Phthalates free / Hypo-allergenic
- Length: 7 1/2"
- Insertable length: 6"
- Circumference: 4 1/4"
- Diameter: 1 1/4"
- Speed settings: 3
This review has been a long time in coming. But between business road trips, health issues, and tornado warnings, my Goddess and I haven’t had much time to ourselves of late, and even less time to write, as you may have noticed. However, I must say that once the moment came, the Silky G was an unqualified success.
On that particular evening, my Goddess' hunger was overwhelming. After some foot-kissing, it was clear that she was looking for more... much more. A first round of oral servitude quenched her desires but for the time it took for her to recover from her massive orgasm. This was the opportunity to move from the living room to the bedroom, where the Silky G, and some newly acquired lube, was on a bedside table. Moving from clitoral to G-spot stimulation, we were both curious to see if we would get anywhere... my Goddess is much, much easier to satisfy through he former than the latter. But the Silky G did not disappoint. Shortly after I had moved from the first speed to the second, well before I ever got to the third, our new toy proved worth the long wait and anticipation.
Of course, it is difficult to say that what is good for one person will be good to another, in such matters. But the Silky G, worked very well on someone particularly challenging to satisfy when it comes to G-spot stimulation , and I am delighted that I have another tool with which to serve my Goddess.
Our gratitude to EdenFantantasys for giving us the opportunity to review their Silky G vibrator, and for their patience with us. You can find the Silky G's page here. On this page, you’ll also find a funny video about the Silky G, and the impact it may have on a relationship...
Friday, May 6, 2011
Artwork courtesy of Shohei Yamashiro from Slug on Leather via Lunar Black
Monday, May 2, 2011
"As far as the human furniture thing goes, how do you feel while in that position? I know how it makes me feel to use Karl as a footstool or coffee table, and he's described it as a deep feeling of subspace as time passes, and says that he almost goes into a trance to maintain his position. The longer it lasts, the more turned on he gets by my indifference (there's that word again) to his discomfort and the fact that there's no timetable involved, no point at which he can be certain that it will end. How does that compare with what you feel, and does Selena torment you in other ways while you are in that situation, and/or punish you for wobbling or not maintaining the position she wants you in? I must confess that I do both." Comment/questions from Lady Grey in a recent post.
I find that our human furniture play breaks down in one of two types of scenarios. The first type of human furniture play tends to require effort, or there is an element of predicament-type discomfort. It may be the muscle fatigue building while I try not to move under the tension (supporting some part of her weight and/or mine), a localized pain such as a heel against a soft spot of my body, or a position that may make breathing or moving more challenging. This kind of furniture play is very subspace-inducing because of the discomfort/pain, and the elements of active dominance, control, and sadistic enjoyment, on my Goddess’ side.
The second type of furniture play doesn’t require that much effort or cause discomfort/pain, but it may still be very powerful in setting or maintaining a D/s mood. Examples of this may be my Goddess placing her bare feet against my back or on one of my thighs while I’m at her feet on the floor, reclining on/against me while we watch some of her favorite TV shows (usually there is some bondage involved), or requesting that I be in certain positions while we sleep so that she can lay on me in whatever manner she desires (her head on my chest, with or without bondage, or part of my body under her knees). This kind of furniture play reinforces the sense of ownership/belonging, service, and being her available for her use.
In both cases, the physical contact, the uncertainty of the duration, the D/s imagery of the positions, and the D/s tension of the interaction, are all large parts of the dynamics that give this aspect of our play a tremendous appeal to us.
Punishment is not a big part of our furniture play, or our D/s dynamics generally. My Goddess hurts me, in whatever form, for her enjoyment and satisfaction because, well, she just enjoys it and gets a thrill from my reactions to it. Certain predicaments she places me in, or challenges she imposes on me, may lead to more/fewer or more/less intense strokes (paddle/cane/flogger), but otherwise, it is a discretionary decision based on her mood and how excited she gets by my unintentional reactions. Neither one of us are fans of the possible manipulations that may arise from performance-based punishment. Not to say that it can’t be done right or that other people can’t make it an integral part of their dynamics. It’s just not something that holds that much appeal to us and our dynamics are of a different nature.
While some types of rituals or scenes are more likely to bring about furniture play, it seems to me that apart from scheduled favorite TV shows, or when it comes time for going to bed to sleep, it happens as spur-of-the moment inspiration on our part (mainly my Goddess’). Like bondage, like spontaneous hurting, like predicament situations, furniture play blends in and flows and from our D/s dynamics and the natural exercise of my Goddess’ domination and my submission to her.
Artwork courtesy of Shohei Yamashiro via Lunar Black
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
When I was a little girl I loved to color. However, I wasn't one of those kids who could color the frog purple or a tree pink. In was appalled by my friends when they would color smurfs red...I cringe just thinking about it! That simply didnt make sense. Yes, I was a practical child.
So it is funny to me how much (as an adult) I enjoy coloring my new canvas, dymion. There are no lines to follow or characters to bring to life...simply flesh awaiting my creativity. Dymion and I are still debating what type of true tattoo he will get to honor me (suggestions anyone?), but in the meantime I enjoy trying out various options. In fact, we purchased a multi-color set of sharpies to make it even more vibrant and provide me more possibilities. So, maybe once a week as of late, I have tied him to the bed and started my temporary masterpieces...hearts, my name, locks and chains, sweet sentiments to remind him he is special...stuff like that.
A few days ago I came up with my best yet. I drew the Earth on his thigh with bright blues and oranges. Around the globe it read "Selena is my world". That about sums it up, right? I highly recommend this activity. It's way cooler than my old Smurf coloring book.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
She is sitting on the sofa, comfortably wedged in the corner of it, on the right side, wearing a loosely fitting pink bath robe. I am sitting at her feet, on the floor, cross-legged, just a bit to her left. Our morning ritual is not yet done.
In addition to my ever-present Eternity Collar, I am wearing nothing but my locking leather collar, a pair of clover clamps on my nipples, a shiny metal and leather dog leash, and underwear.
My Goddess removes the foot that was resting on the inside of my right thigh, places it on the floor, and crosses her legs. She pulls on the leash attached to the main D-ring of the locked leather collar a little tighter, pulling me in closer to her. She rests her right hand holding the leash on top of her knee. Her wrist is through the leather handle, and she has a turn or two of the chain around her hand to keep a gentle but firm tension on the leash.
She moves very slightly away from the corner of the sofa as she crosses her legs, bringing herself a little closer to me. That must be when she took up the slack, and more, in the leash's chain. And forced me to move my upper body up against the leg that is resting on the floor. Her other leg is coming across in front of me just a bit.
I turn slightly toward her, and I see the vision of my Goddess sitting above me in such a sublimely dominant manner. I notice her beautiful hand laying on her knee just next to my face, holding the leash, and I gently kiss her hand with all the adoration I can muster.
In one of those moments frozen in time, I feel my mind's eye pulling away from where I am, and visualizing the scene from the other end of the room. I so wish the moment would be captured in a picture or a drawing.
The mood of the morning ritual... the warmth of the interaction... the glow of the splendor of my Goddess' dominance... the energy my submissive reverence was feeding her... If ever I was to commission a portrait or drawing from someone like Sardax, or one of the other great femdom artists, as a gift to my beloved Goddess, this is one of the scenes I would want to have immortalized.
NEXT: a response to Lady Grey's comment on human furniture from the last post...
Can't make out the artist on the latter artwork, but it seems I first saw this image on the cover of a Centurian magazine back in the very early 80s. I'm pretty sure the mark on the lower right isn't original.
Friday, April 22, 2011
So much is happening... so little time to write...
Lots of servitude... oral, sexual, and anything else my Goddess needs/requires... including cooking, washing, and cleaning...
Morning rituals every day except those I have to be out of the house before my Goddess wakes up... always wrapping up with some serious NT, and often with a short session with a leather paddle or a cane... and I never tire of my Goddess holding out her empty cup of coffee at me and teasingly commanding, "Coffee, Bitch!"
Many nights going to sleep with my wrists bound to the bed... so my Goddess can have me next to her when she falls asleep... and knows where I'll be all night...
Painting my Goddess' toe nails... a new activity for us... I'm horrible at it, but learning and improving...
Spending an increasing amount of time as furniture... sitting at my Goddess' feet and serving as a footrest when she watches some television...
Extraordinarly hot and intense and painful love making... always on her terms...
Spending virtually every single minute at home with my Goddess wearing the locking leather collar... the rare times I have failed to bring it to her for placing around my neck in the very first minutes we are both home has earned me some rather pointed remarks...
And I can feel my Goddess building up to a more formal session any time now... just a few days ago, she was telling me that she was looking forward to finding a day when she could keep me bound for the entire day...
The weeks and the months and the years are going by faster than we realize, faster than we would like. Yet, thankfully, the intensity and the passion and the love keep growing. And our daily D/s dynamics are more firmly entrenched than ever before.