"... when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
-- When Harry met Sally
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
-- Carl Jung
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
1. Time without beginning or end; infinite time.
2. The state or quality of being eternal.
A restraining or identifying band of leather, metal, or plastic put around the neck
Definitions adapted from the Free Online Dictionary
Something new arrived in the mail for us today. Something we had talked about for a long time. Something my Goddess ordered me to purchase a little less than two weeks ago.
We received the Eternity Collar that my Goddess chose for me. Stainless steel, black (the "Phantom Line"), 3/8" thick, heavy, absolutely ungiving, and kept in place by an allen screw that can only be removed by the thin allen keys that came with it (my Goddess has already made the allen keys disappear). I will be unable to remove it without asking my Goddess to remove it for me. Something I don't think she's planning on doing any time soon. In fact, she later said something like, "Get used to it... it'll be there for a very long time."
Shortly after we came home, my Goddess unlocked the padlock of the chain that had remained continuously around my neck for the last 13 months and change, apart from a few plane flights and courthouse visits, and replaced it with the Eternity Collar. Upon pulling away from me after placing and closing the Eternity Collar around my neck, and lining up the screw just right to lock it into place, my Goddess broke into the most joyous, satisfied, and dominant smile I have ever seen on her.The Eternity Collar really is a superb piece. Making its presence felt around my neck by its weight and its rigidity, it perfectly symbolizes my attachment and belonging to my Goddess, her ownership of me, and the strength of the ties that bind us. It certainly makes very tangible the expression "owned and collared".
While we were both very tired this evening, the sight of the Eternity Collar around my neck got my Goddess rather excited, and she told me to make sure I don't make any plans for tomorrow evening... because she most definitely has some.
In the meantime, inspired by what she saw, my Goddess still wanted to assert some measure of dominance, and she locked some leather cuffs on me, and I will undoutedly remain bound until she decides to release me in the morning.
"If one understands eternity as timelessness, and not as an unending timespan, then whoever lives in the present lives for all time." ~ Ludwig Wittgenstein
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
"Suspension Love", by Ladenadenoire, via Lunar Black.
Following up on my Goddess' post, here are a few of the things that I'm looking forward to once we regain our privacy:
- A return to the full compliment of daily rituals.
- No more limits on my Goddess' expression of her dominance: more opportunities for impromtu bondage and BDSM and servitude.
- My Goddess will be placing the locking leather collar much earlier each evening.
- No more worries about noise caused by paddles, canes, or me (which will likely significantly increase the frequency of these activities).
- Watching my Goddess' favorite TV shows while she keeps me in bondage; sexual servitude may be required at any time.
- Spending more time leashed to my Goddess' side.
- More nights sleeping in bondage next to my Goddess.
- Playing my Goddess' favorite board games while she keeps me in bondage.
- No more worries about prep, noise, or clean-up during strap-on play (which will likely significantly increase the frequency of this activity).
- A large closet that can serve as a make-shift mini-dungeon.
The anticipation has been rising for a while now. In both of us.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
The tangible feeling of her control, her ownership, and my belonging to her through the sensation of the locked cuffs is incredibly special. I absolutely love it whenever she asks me to wear bondage gear under my clothing. I just can't stop thinking about it, reaching for it, thinking of what happened when she had used it on me last, and anticipating what may come. Knowing that my Goddess is excited thinking about the fact that I am wearing, for her, bondage gear that I can't remove is just so totally hot.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Well, it doesn't take much convincing for my Goddess and I to try out a new toy, especially if we don't have something like it in our collection. We found the idea of a toy that combined two of our favorite items, an O-Ring gag and nipple clamps, very appealing. So as soon as we got a chance, we took the item out of its box, and gave it a field test.
More on their ball gags: Ball Gags
More on their bondage stuff: Bondage Toys
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
I love road trips with my Goddess. I love our overnight stays. There's something exotic and exciting about spending time somewhere new, no matter how humble the accommodation or ordinary the excuse. We both always look forward to the inspiration that strange hotel rooms provide us with, and inevitably, because of the anticipation and excitement, some kind of scene always breaks out. And because some kind of scene pretty much always happens, the anticipation and excitement is always very high when we have to be on the road.
Business taken care of, a few sights taken in, a great meal at a restaurant, a drink at a bar on the way back, I held my Goddess closely in the elevator, occasionally kissing the side of her neck gently, and we walked back to our room holding hands. Once inside, we took off our jackets, and got more comfortable. As our ritual goes every evening, I retrieved the locking leather collar and presented it to my Goddess. She quickly took the collar, buckled it around my neck, and locked it in place.
"Get me your cuffs!" she said right after. Hmmm... inspiration strikes again? Or is it that overnight stays at hotels mandate stricter dress codes? In any case, I did not want to keep her waiting, and brought them back to her quickly. In no time, after I removed a few more layers of clothing, the wrist cuffs and the ankle cuffs were in place and locked.
My Goddess looked radiantly and divinely dominant, sitting on the side of the bed, with me kneeling below her. I could not help but to take up one of her feet in my hands and start kissing gently her toes, the top of her foot, and the arch of her foot, many, many times. She reclined back, resting her upper body on her elbows, enjoying the tender sensations of my foot worship. As I began licking her toes, I heard a deep moan come from her, and I noticed her throw her head back. She was as lost in the moment as I was...
Several minutes of foot worship and delicately massaging her toes with my tongue later, my Goddess rose from her trance, grabbed the central D-ring of my collar, and pulled me up onto the bed. Clearly, she was ready to play a more active dominant role.
Sadly, the subspace I was in at the time, and that further deepened as the evening went on, has blurred heavily in my mind the sequence of events that followed. However, here are some of the highlights that left indelible marks, pun partly intended...
It had been a little while since my Goddess had had a chance to wield any of the canes. I remember her using at least two of them, and she pushed me with both her beloved violet hard-plastic cane and the rattan one. She increased the tempo and the intensity until I could no longer remain on all-fours on the bed, twisting blindfolded and bound while the reverberations took over my body completely, and then echoed out. And then she grabbed the second cane, and in less than two dozen strokes, brought me back into the same physical and mental state.
I also recall my Goddess cooing over the improvised bondage position she put me in a bit later. She used an extra pair of ankle cuffs as anchors around the bed posts at the head of the bed. The size of the bed, and the shortness of the anchor points stretched out my arms fully, to the point that my head was also up on the headboard. She commented that she couldn't remember ever having me quite so stretched out this way. I could feel her glee through the subspace and the blindfold. Very proud of her artwork, she took a number of pictures for her to keep enjoying my predicament at other times.
In this position, and with my ankles cuffed together, I was open and vulnerable to a number delicious little tortures she so delights in putting me through. CBT, NT, scratching (her nails were particularly sharp that evening), some flogging... anything to see me writhe and squirm, to hear me moan and exhale, to feel me trembling under her touch...
Still being a bit sore from the previous evening of lovemaking, my Goddess was not looking for sexual servitude from me, but rather, what she calls entertainment. When she tells me, "Entertain me!", I know that I am expected to bring myself to climax while she continues to play with me. There is an incredible sense of control on her side, and surrender on mine, when she makes such a request.
I can feel how empowering it is for her to have me do this, and for her to control the pace, the duration, and the intensity through the pain she causes. There's something so incredibly submissive about being ordered to reach climax on demand for the entertainment of my Goddess.
After cleaning up and preparing to go to bed, my Goddess left my cuffs on, and we went to sleep while I was still partly bound. She loves holding on to my cuffs while falling asleep, and I love both the sensation of being in her control, and the feeling that she doesn't want to let me go.
Image courtesy of http://www.young-goddess.com/ via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
My Goddess places the leather collar around my neck. She is sitting on the bed, and I am kneeling before her. She very deliberately clicks the lock in the back of the collar. The wrist cuffs are next. Gently but firmly, she straps them around one wrist, and then the other. She reaches for the small locks, and clicks those in place. Finally, the ankle cuffs go on, and those are locked on also.
She asks for the double-ended clips. I start standing up to fetch them, but a curt "Ah!" from my Goddess stops me in my track. I get back my knees instinctively... I should have known. The carpet is very rough on my knees while I crawl over to the toy bag on all-fours, but I still return to her as quickly as possible.
My Goddess clips the wrist cuffs together in front of me, and then the ankle cuffs. I remain on my knees as she reclines against the headboard. I reach for one of her naked feet with my bound hands, and pull it toward me. I begin kissing each of her toes gently. I do it a second time before moving to the top of her foot. She tells me that she loves feeling my "little nose" as I'm covering her foot with kisses. After a dozen kisses over her foot, I come back to the toes. I kiss each one of them, and then again in the reverse order. I go back to the top of the foot for another dozen kisses. I finish with two more passes over the toes. I move on to the other foot. I do the same pattern. She remarks upon the softness of my nose again, rubbing against her skin while I inundate her foot with kisses.
I can feel my Goddess totally in the zone. I'm also in the zone, but in a zone at the opposite end of the spectrum. She moves away from the headboard and toward me. From my kneeling position, I move my head forward as her hips move close to me. She opens her legs, and puts her feet on my shoulders. I gently begin to lap at her. She lies back completely, but on her way down, she takes hold of my hair, pulling me in just a bit deeper into her. It is barely just a few minutes before she reaches a thunderous orgasm.
Upon reaching the peak of her climax, my Goddess pushes on my head slightly so that I can no longer reach her with my tongue. She crosses her legs behind my neck, forcing my head to lie against her lower abs. I can feel the power of the tremors racking her body.
As the waves of pleasure quiet down, my Goddess uncrosses her legs and lets me go. She sits upright in the bed, grabs hold of the central D-ring of the locked leather collar, and pulls me up and toward her. I try to climb onto the bed, but it is unusually high, and with my feet bound, I need to put my hands down on the bed, and a come up with a short hop.
She keeps pulling on the collar, and I am forced to adapt and change position quickly. She lies back, bringing me over her. I almost fall on top of her. I catch myself, planting my bound hands over her head. She smiles. The clipped wrist cuffs and ankle cuffs make for a very awkward position. She knows. She still wants me inside her. She reaches for my nipples... hard. Something else is very hard. She knows that too. And she wants it inside her. I slip my cuffed hands under her neck, right above her shoulders. With the slightly improved position, I gently slide inside her as she guides my penis in. She returns to teasing and hurting my nipples. The angle is still uncomfortable, and she loves it. She hurts me more. I try to find a better fit by moving my knees a bit, and crossing my feet, still clipped together. She has no patience for my maneuvering, and digs her nails into my nipples even harder. I exhale loudly and plunge into her almost fully.
I'm still in an awkward position, and my Goddess absolutely loves it. She shows no mercy, and gives me no choice. This is how she wants me to fuck her, and she increases the torment and the torture of my nipples. Clearly, I am expected to reach climax like this, and give her what she wants. That's OK because I so want to. I so have to.
I'll take from my Goddess' reactions that the position, and what I did, worked for her, although I know my predicament was a significant part of her enjoyment. On my side, despite some less than ideal positioning, it did not take much time to reach a massive orgasm (I'm almost feeling the tremors again just wrtting about it.)
I kept shaking as I bent my elbows and pressed my chest against her, with my cuffed hands still under her neck. I uncross my cuffed feet and once more try to find a comfortable position while my heart rate and breath slow down.
A few minutes later, after some cleaning up, and my Goddess enjoying my hobbled walk to the bathroom and back, both of us are spent, and ready to crash and fall asleep. She leaves the bondage gear on me. I lie on my side, facing my Goddess. Facing away from me, she snuggles, backing into me. She reaches over to pull my arms over her as we put the final touches on our spooning position. She securely grabs the D-rings of each wrist cuff, looping her thumbs through them, ensuring that I can't move very much, and we almost immediately drift off to sleep.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
Pulled from a deep in sleep, I barely notice any light coming from outside. I feel tension around my neck, and pressure on my right nipple that rapidly becomes a sharp pain. My Goddess is tugging on the central D-ring of the locked leather collar, pulling me closer to her, and what begins as nipple teasing fast becomes NT.
My mind is still foggy when my Goddess pushes me on my back and mounts my hips (without penetration). She reaches for more NT, taking occasional breaks to reach back for some CBT, or forward to take a hold of one of the D-rings on the collar.
My movements and moans reacting to the pain she's causing is driving her crazy... in the best kind of way. She begins to gyrate her hips over mine. She increases the intensity of the NT. I can't help but to squirm a little more, to moan a little more. She gets more excited and grinds her hips harder and hurts me more. The cycle rapidly spirals out of control. She slumps over my chest. She grabs once more the central D-ring of the collar, and keeps hold of one nipple, which she hurts until a whimper escapes from me. A huge climax rips through her body, which feels amazing to me, lying beneath her. I feel her heart beat against my chest, her breathing fast and heavy against my body.
In a matter of a few minutes, like a tiger pouncing and devoring a prey to satisfy its hunger, my Goddess woke me up and hurt me until she reached climax.
She moves off me, and sits back against the head of the bed, looking down at me smug, dominant, smiling. But I can tell she's still hungry. I can almost tangibly feel the waves of her dominance and her sexual energy. I move over her legs, and bring my head down between her legs. Instantly she reacts to my tongue. She grabs my hair and pulls me in. The build-up is quick and incredibly intense. Again, in a matter of just a few minutes, she once more reaches a huge climax, shaking for over a minute after she pushed my head away from her.
Once she recovers, we hug, she gets off the bed and heads for the shower. That was it. This morning was all about her. And I was thoroughly delighted in this unexpected start to the week, despite the unequal score in orgasms (2-0).
Friday, October 29, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Just before she leaves for work, my Goddess comes back to the bedroom to unlock and remove the locking leather collar I wear overnight, and in fact, wear most of the time when we are both at home alone.
I sit cross-legged in bed, and she comes up on the bed behind me, on her knees. I feel her aiming the key for keyhole, and opening the lock. That opening click is as sad a moment for each of us as the closing click in the evening creates almost a full-body tingle.
My Goddess removes the lock, places it on the bed next to us, and begins unbuckling the collar. As she begins to tell me that I forgot to take care of something for her yesterday, she pulls on each end of the now unbuckled collar, tightening it around my neck. She increases the tension as she continues her sentence, restricting evermore my breathing with every word.
I'm as shocked at having forgotten to take care of that for her as I'm suprised at the unexpected breath play. The slip of mind was relatively minor, and my Goddess' reaction was mainly playful evilness.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
I'm sitting on the floor, holding the ashtray for my Goddess. I lit her cigarette and gave it to her. I'll be holding the ashtray for her until she's done. She's looking down on her pet with affection, but also with a sense of control... power... ownership... For all the mystique of a beautiful woman who makes smoking sexy, who makes you weak in the knees while she does it, there nothing quite like being in a position to look up at her while she is doing it...
My Goddess reaches over and pulls me in close to her by the chain she keeps locked around my neck at all times. She reaches up to me, like she's going to kiss me. She locks lips with me. She makes sure our lips are tightly sealed. She exhales the smoke of her cigarette. I can feel her dominance rise like the phoenix over the horizon. She's in a mood. I will be subject to much more later on.
Image courtesy of Code 831
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
I pulled down the laptop to the floor to show my Goddess something. I laid down in front of the computer, on my belly and elbows, and expected her to lie down next to me, in the same position, to look at what I wanted to show her.
She came over, unexpectedly sat on my lower back, laid down her torso along my back, extended her legs over mine, and looked over my shoulder on one side. Her hands went down to my sides. Her weight pinned me down, leaving me unable to move, vulnerable, one of our favorite positions for play.
I wanted to close my eyes. I wanted her to reach over with her hands, her fingers, her nails, and reach under my shirt, to the front, to tease, torment, and torture my nipples. I wanted her to sit back upright while she was doing NT and start grinding her hips against my lower back as she began to get excited by my moans, my squirming, my trying to escape her without really wanting to be successful. I wanted her to hurt me until she climaxed. I wanted her to...
We were spending a quiet evening with family, and some were present in the living room when I had something interesting to show my Goddess. I was very taken aback when she positioned herself over me. I really thought she'd come right next to me on the floor. Of course, she could not engage in the course of action that naturally ensues when she takes up the position that she did.
Of course, I did not close my eyes, nor did she do any NT, and no, she did not reach climax.
Just an exceedingly affectionate moment in the eyes of those who don't know.
Twenty-four hours later, I'm still having flashbacks to what wasn't. Today was too busy for us, we came back too late, and we were too tired, to follow up on this. Just the usual daily rituals and D/s dynamics for today. And so the hunger grows more consuming...
Now that was torture... and not of the hot, subspacey, D/s kind.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
If you haven't read part one, go do it now... this is the continuation of the same evening...
Winding down somewhat, my Goddess does not want to close out such powerful time together without leaving us both with something to remember... markings.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Three evenings ago... Where to start... I'm not sure...
I'm not even sure how it started... in what order things happened... if I'm remembering everything...
Deep, deep subspace. Intoxicated, infatuated, entranced. Totally under her spell. And it made us both so happy.
A leather blindfold is placed over my eyes. My Goddess tells me to get on all fours on the bed. A few seconds later, the first sharp and stingy strikes of the latex flogger comes down on my backside... on the back of my thighs... on my lower back... on the side on my thighs... Maybe two dozen strokes later, my Goddess switches to the swatters. Both of them. Double-swats, consecutive swats, up-and-down-and-all-around my backside. Then she switches again. This time to a suede flogger. Or did she do this one before the swatters? Can't tell anymore. She's going at it, at me, pretty vigorously. But she complains that it doesn't seem to have as much of an effect on me as she as she'd like. It does. On so many levels, it does. I'm just trying my best to hang in there to let my Goddess enjoy herself. I've lost count. Her target areas feel warm. There a stinging echo that lasts beyond one strike to blend into the next one. I'm drifting in subspace...
I realize she stopped well after the last strike of the purple suede flogger.My Goddess orders me to lie on my back. She clips my wrist cuffs to the D-rings on my locked collar. It's one of those very open and somewhat awkward positions that leaves me very vulnerable. She also clips my ankle cuffs together. Still blinfolded, I suddenly pick-up the delightful smell of her skin next to my nose. Close. Very close. I feel something touch my lips. It's one of her nipples. I reach out with my tongue and wet the tip. She leaves it there. Slowly I run my tongue around her the nipple and over it. She lowers her breast. I have no choice but to take in part of it in my mouth. I keep gently licking the nipple. She lowers her breast even more, and it now covers my mouth completely and part of my nose. My breathing can be heard as the air is funneled through smaller openings. She lowers her breast still more, and pinches my nose shut with her fingers. My tongue is working around the nipple in my mouth frantically. At the same time, I try to relax. I've surrendered completely to her. She's in total control. After a certain amount of time (10 seconds? 15? 30?) that I can't even begin to try to guess, she lifts her chest up and I take in a huge breath.
Leaving me just the time for four or five breaths, my Goddess returns to my mouth with her other breast. She lets me tease the nipple a bit, lowers the breast, I lick more forcefully, and then she drops her chest to cover my mouth and part of my nose again. After a few seconds of my tongue playing with her nipples, once more she pinches my nostrils shut, just in case her breast was not enough (it was). Can't breathe through either my mouth or my nose. She keeps me without breathing longer this time. Waiting until I just start to struggle to breathe, she says in a haughtily playful tone, "There are worse ways to die..." And then, she releases her hold on my breath.
To be continued...
Monday, October 4, 2010
Over the weekend, 36 uninterrupted hours of wearing the locked leather collar... around the home, and on two errands outside the home. I intoxincatingly belonged to my Goddess...
An evening with my wrists and ankles bound, entertaining my Goddess... playing board games, watching television, doing whatever little thing she required of me. And after all the time we've been together, My Goddess' mischevious smile and her sense of enjoyment watching me hobble around the house has never diminished...
I spent overnight sleeping in bondage next to my Goddess... Limited in my movements, which inevitably kept me in various positions of contact with her. Couldn't get away... Didn't want to get away...
This morning, my Goddess removed my leather collar and the four locked cuffs before leaving for work, she told me she expected the house to be straightened out and significantly neater when she returned. Nothing makes cleaning up around the house as enjoyable as when my Goddess is expecting it, and will notice it.
As a side note, the arrival of the cooler weather is delightfully promising of more frequent, but discreet, outdoors kinky play. Jackets, fleeces, and sweaters are great to hide the locked leather collar during daytime errands or excursions with my Goddess; occasionally, the locked wrist cuffs may also be on. The return of long pants will have my Goddess locking ankle cuffs before I leave for work.
The warmth under the leather. The texture and the firmness of the leather. The ungiving of the secure locks. The restraints of the clips and ties. Sensuality... exchange of power... dominance and submission... vulnerability and trust... control, and surrender... belonging and ownership... Each from our particular position, we so enjoy these little moments full of symbolism and excitement.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Little did I know my Goddess was planning to write about our "Sexy Interlude" from a few evenings ago. This entry will give you the opportunity to contrast the same interlude from her dominant perspective and from mine.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
A couple of nights ago we made it happen. When he returned from the shower I was dressed in a matching bra/panty set smelling sweetly of oranges from soap and perfume. I laid on the bed and slowly watched him walk in. The smell and warmth of his skin was pretty overwhelming. I wanted him close. I needed to kiss. I needed to be the center of his universe for just a little while. Within seconds his locking collar was back around his neck....MINE.
Now let's see:
1) Blindfold (check!)
2) Rope (check!)
3) Hankerchief (check!)
4) Clothes Pins (check!)
5) Naked Pet (check!)
I am sure you can use your own imagination as to where the props came into the interlude. But I will elaborate a bit more. Once completely secured in his rope, I mounted his stomach pushing my body against his. SOOOO WARM. The light caresses soon turned to penetration in a position we don't often explore. I was on top of him. His hands were tied in over his head, his legs were tightly bound to the dresser at the end of the bed. He was defenseless to my desires. So, I stayed there, found an excellent position, and began moving rhythmically at my own pace. Eventually I reached climax.
- SOOOOO WARM!
- the rhythmic waves we created
- awesome noises from my pet
- the visual of seeing my darling dymion helpless (and I suspect loving every bit of it).
In. fact, I know he loved it. When I reached orgasm I laid down next to his bound body and gave him his orders for the night. He was to bring himslef to climax lying on his back, feet tied tight, and blindfolded. This is an unusual request coming from me. Dymion has never reached orgasm in that position. But he didn' want to disappoint me. So with the pressure high to keep the Goddess happy he worked hard on the effort. I occasionally helped him by bestowing intense pain on many of his sensitive spots and reminding him softly that he was doing this for me and only me. There wasn't much waiting after that.
This may just sound like another scene to those who actively play, but I can reassure you that this was one extraordinarily HOT INTERLUDE. Maybe it wasn't 3 hours in a professional dungeon, but for those few minutes it was just him and me... alone... together... beautiful... Dominant...Submissive... Doing the deviance that deviants do....and with a lotta love!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
As a follow-up to my first part on relational needs, I wanted to return to Willard F. Harley Jr.'s book "His Needs, Her Needs." One of the key points he tries to make is the following:
"Become aware of each other's emotional needs and learn to meet them."
In a sub-section titled "His needs are not her needs", he says that he's been able to classify ten major emotional needs:
4- domestic support
5- family commitment
6- financial support
7- honesty and openness
8- physical attraction
9- recreational companionship
10- sexual fulfillment
In innumerable interviews done over the course of more than 15 years, Harley discovered why it was so difficult for men and women to meet the needs that are so important to the other. When he asked couples to list needs according to their own priorities, the men listed them one way and women the opposite way. "Of the ten basic emotional needs, the five listed as most important by men were usually the five least important for women, and vice-versa."
So clearly there lies three major obstacles for two individuals to be happy together:
1- identifying the other's needs
2- understanding the other's needs
3- fulfilling the other's needs
But before going further, I'm curious to know: How are the ten emotional needs influenced or affected by the dynamics of a D/s relationship? A femdom one in particular? Do the power dynamics permeate through all ten of the emotional needs? Most of them? Just a few of them? Or only sexual fulfillment?
So the four questions I put out there for you today are the following:
1- What are the five top emotional needs in your relationship for you?
2- What are the five top emotional needs of your partner?
3- If you are living in a relation that you consider to have a strong D/s component, how are these emotional needs influenced/affected by the D/s dynamics?
I'm sure the answers vary as much from one specific D/s couple to another as the lists of emotional needs do from one vanilla couple to another. But considering the basic premise of the difficulty in having a man and a woman in a relationship having a similar list of priorities, and the belief that most people in the lifestyle have that a D/s dynamics adds a whole new layer of complexity to the relationship, it seems particularly important for us to wade through this attentively, otherwise there is really no chance on either side for happiness.
In relation to D/s dynamics, I think that this element is a huge part of our play. This mutal admiration plays out in opposite direction, as her admiration for me makes me a more attractive target for her dominant desires. The fact that she sees so much in me makes it more enticing for her to control me, to dominate me, and to own me.
On my side, my admiration for her makes it easy for me to want to serve her and worship her. When given the opportunity, getting things ready or doing things for her gives me a sense of higher purpose. It's easy to want to treat my Goddess well because I admire her so much. Appreciating how wonderful, smart, funny, caring, beautiful and sexy she is, and how important she is in my life, the distance between admiration and worship is not great. Add to that the element of her dominance, and the emotional need of admiration is one that is not only an important one for us, but one that keeps up close together, and one that has become colored by the D/s dynamics of our relationship.
Am I meeting all her needs in this area? How can one ever be sure? I think I'm doing a decent job, although I keep looking for ways to do better and do more. In view of how much I admire her, it's just a matter of making sure she knows how I feel.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Do you have any idea what's going to happen? Neither do I. Well, a general idea, of course... but not exactly. Be that as it may, my Goddess will have some options...
- 3 paddles (1 hard plexiglass, 1 leather, 1 leather with metal rod inside);
- 2 swatters
- 3 floggers (1 small-latex, 1 medium-purple suede, 1 large-leather);
- 1 leather crop
- 3 canes (1 x 30" rattan, 1 x 24" twisted hard plastic, 1 x 30" purple lexan)
- 1 x 1.25" locking leather collar (the one my Goddess locks on me every night to go to sleep)
- 1 x 2.5" locking collar
- 2 sets of locking wrist cuffs
- 2 sets of locking ankle cuffs
- 2 x 30" bendable metal padded ties
- 2 leather blindfolds
- 3 gags (1 x ball gag, 1 x leather gag (large), 1 x O-ring gag)
- 2 dog leashes (1 x 24" medium links, 1 x 30" large links)
- 1 x 50' rope leash (clip-on)
- ropes (35', 25', 2 x 12.5', 2 x 6')
- a dozen small locks
- 10 double-ended clips
- 2 Wartenberg wheels (extremely sharp)
- 50 wood clothespins (full-size)
- 30 plastics clothes pins (full-size)
- 25 plastics clothes pins (small)
- 1 set of sounds (8)
- Testicule stretcher
- Gates of Hell
- Cock harness
- 1 Betty's Jelly Bumble Bee strap-on (8.5")
- 1 leather harness for strap-on play
- 1 dildo (6") for strap-on harness
- 1 dildo (9" with bead pattern)
- 1 large anal vibrator
- 1 prostate massager
- 1 thin vibrator
- latex gloves
And it's hard to believe, but we're leaving some other stuff behind...
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
I'm a short hair kind a guy. I've always liked it that way. As soon as my hair reaches the top of my ear, or that I can spot that it's long enough to not stand up on its own, it's time to swing by the barber's place.
The drawback, of course, is that this routine doesn't allow my Goddess to indulge in one of her favorite activities, hair pulling. Sadly, my sense of the functional doesn't always present her with the opportunity to reach for my hair when the mood strikes her. And we both miss that.
There's something very powerful about having my Goddess grab a hand full of my hair, and bringing me close to her, directing me in the direction she wants, or keeping me still.
She may want to look deep into my eyes, hungry to exert her dominance over me. She may want to make sure I'm totally focused on her while she tells me what she wants, what she wants to do to me, or she just teases me. She may want to have a kiss right then and there. She may want to exhale a drag of her cigarette into my mouth. She may want to direct me to pleasure her. She may want to use my hair as a lead to have me follow her. Or she may simply want to hurt me, one of those little moments of benevolent sadism.
Control... physical and mental. Dominance of her will and desires over mine. A display of her ownership of me. Such a simple action, such a powerful reaction.
Just a few days ago, I was sharing with my Goddess that I was planning on getting my hair cut as soon as I found a little time to go to the barber's. I was totally taken aback when she said no. My Goddess made it clear to me that I wasn't to cut my hair in the next two weeks. We do have some opportunities coming up for some extended play, and it looks like some serious hair-pulling is in the plans, among many other things.
I've been thinking of what is to come, and what may come, incessantly since that moment...