The Goddess wants to play - Part 2 (E)

Courtesy of Who's Sorry Now? via Lunar Black - Desire for Submission and More...

Hmmm… Where was I in our delightful scene… More than time for me to finish what was started a while back.

Ah, yes… The hogtie. Arms behind my back, restrained by metal handcuffs. Ankles bound together by several loops of rope. Feet near my backside, legs bound there by a short length of rope anchored to the chain of the handcuffs. I feel the metal of the cuffs digging sharply into my wrists. The pressure of the rope around my ankles is also noticeable, but much more forgiving. I feel the tension of the bondage in my legs, my back, and my arms, and yet, my body and mind let go and relax. I give in to the hogtie, and surrender to my Goddess, who is towering over me, enjoying immensely my helplessness as she plays bondage artist.

The hogtie is one of my favorite bondage positions, despite not being all that comfortable. Somehow, the dichotomy of the tension of the position itself and the deeper state of subspace it carries me into, forcing me into surrender and letting go of all, work together in intensifying the emotions and reactions of the power exchange between us. One of those things that definitely, as Paltego from Femdom Resources would say, pushes my buttons.

Goddess Selena gives each one of the ties a little tug. She teases me that everything is nice and tight.

“You’re not going anywhere…” She says playfully, pulling on my hair, and then running her nails down my back.

Courtesy of The English Mansion

She leaves me for a minute. In the depths of subspace, I have flashbacks of other moments left alone hogtied. Our first apartment… hogtied and isolated in our bondage closet while she enjoyed a favorite TV show. Our last house, hogtied on the bed while she takes a shower and gets ready to go out.

I drift back from my reverie when I feel Goddess Selena’s weight next to me on the bed. A sharp edge comes across in a short curve near the top of my shoulder blade. Between the sharp etchings and the focused vibes I get from my Goddess, I make out through the veil of subspace that she is drawing expressions of ownership and love with Sharpie markers on my back. Markings are always swoon-inducing for days afterwards…

Goddess Selena leaves me again for a few instants, and returns with her iPhone. She takes a few pictures of the markings and teases me about them. She puts the phone down on the night table, and releases the tie between the handcuffs and the rope keeping my ankles bound. She rolls me over on my back and arms, and helps me move up into a 45-degree sitting position against the headboard, with a few pillows behind me.

I’m out of the hogtie, but with my wrists and ankles still bound, and the blindfold still on, I can tell she’s not quite done. I hear a what seems to be a plastic bag with some soft-sounding items in it drop next to me. I feel Goddess Selena pinch some skin underneath my penis, and then, some light pressure that doesn’t dissipate despite the fact that she is no longer touching me. Then I feel her pinch a spot on my scrotum, and she lets go of it, leaving once more a light pressure point that remains. She comes back to the penis, and places a third clothespin. And back to the scrotum, for a fourth clothespin. She continues, alternating between the two areas, finding new spots to place a mix of wooden and plastic clothespin, each one more sensitive than the last. I think I can tell the difference between the clothespins, as I vaguely remember the wooden ones being a little stronger but creating more of a dull pain, while the plastic ones are a little sharper, if not quite as strong. Each a source of pain in their own way.

The clothespin scene gets even a little more intense on its own, as I slowly get an erection. The skin of my penis and the upper part of my scrotum get more taunt, making the feeling of the clothespins ever-sharper. Several minutes later, including I don’t know, maybe 12 or 15 or 18 clothespins, Goddess Selena is slapping at some of them, and tugging at others. I arch my back as waves of warmth and pain are radiating from my groin area. Then a singular jolt of pain runs through my entire body as my Goddess removes one of the clothespins and the blood flows back to the skin that had been constricted. And then she removes another to the same effect. I strain against the bondage and I can feel her dominance envelop me as she sadistically proceeds to remove each of the clothespins and enjoys my reactions to her play.

After the last one, I fall back limp against the bed as after-waves of pain still resonate from my groin. For good measure, Goddess Selena grabs my penis and scrotum in her hands and pulls then in different directions, and her hands feel cold against the pain and the warmth of the blood still rushing back to the deprived spots.

She runs her nails along my thighs, and unexpectedly, gives me a deep, passionate, erotically dominant, I-fucking-own-you kiss on the lips. After a surprised pause, I desperately try to answer back with my lips but she is already gone.

Courtesy of Divine Bitches via Mistress Lilyana

Goddess Selena spends a little while caressing me, holding me, occasionally kissing me, and asking how I am. She eventually removes the blindfold. A little more caressing, and she releases me from the bondage that had kept me at her mercy. Once she is satisfied I am gradually gathering my wits while slowly climbing out of subspace, we kiss again, deeply, passionately.

She takes my hand and gently drags me to our screen enclosed back patio, after we got partially dressed. It’s nearly midnight, and a light breeze is giving the air just a hint of coolness. My Goddess is in the mood for an after-scene cigarette. After a few drags, she grabs the middle ring of my locked leather collar, pulls me down to her a bit, and she gives me a smoky kiss. More (big) buttons pushed. A few more times she repeated the gesture, giving our scene a still fetishy cool-down.

From Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress (no longer active)

We went back inside, and soon lay down for sleep. Just before we dozed off, she told me to lie at an angle to her. She then lies down at a nearly perpendicular angle to me, and from her sleeping-on-her-back position, she places one leg over the back of my thighs and the other over my lower back (I was on my belly). Then she pulls me tight under her knees. And we fell asleep with my Goddess dominantly making herself comfortable using me as a leg/knee rest for the night.

Courtesy of Fluffy Art

What I love the most about being Goddess Selena's submissive (E)

Artwork courtesy of Freya's Fancy, found on Girls Rule, Subs Drool

I'm not a huge fan of Fetlife. Several years ago I eventually became a little tired, perhaps even irritated, with it. Too many discussions focusing on definitions again and again. Too many threads started with an agenda of provocation. Too many posts that read like fake and/or bad wank fodder. But I occasionally return to see what's going, even if it may be several months between visits. Despite my complaints, it is certainly unparalleled in scale as a BDSM social network and resource.

Yesterday morning, on one of these occasional visits, a post in one of the well moderated discussion groups I tend to favor, Submissive men and women who love them, struck my fancy. The OP asked: "Tell me what you love the most about being a dominant woman's sub?"

I smiled and began giving a bit of thought to the question. And then I reflected on what I love the most about Goddess Selena's submissive today in contrast to what I loved in our earlier days, the evolution of our relationship, and how our relational dynamics and our activities have evolved over time. Because so much has happened over the time we've been together, impacting so many facets of our lives. The nation’s economic downturn. Geographic relocation. Changes in employment. The significant time demands of our jobs. Significant health issues.

And I decided that I loved the stability and centering that our D/s relationship has given us. While the frequency and duration of our formal playtime and BDSM games have always been susceptible to the overall time we have together and the energy we have at those moments, I feel that the spirit of the commitment we made to each other at the time of Goddess Selena collaring me has never wavered. In part because of our caring and love for each other both through our respective D/s roles, and regardless of those roles. And in part because of the daily rituals, and their related activities, we have come to cherish so much. To quote one of my favorite Ferns expressions, these rituals and activities have been continually "close-making."

Artwork courtesy of JLB, found on Dommes and Subs and Switches, Oh My...

So this post gave me a warm feeling over the course of a few minutes of introspection. And it reminded me of the Glenda Cloud quote “Change is inevitable. Growth is intentional.” 

And as to the original Fetlife post, with much satisfaction I replied:

What I love the most about being Goddess Selena's submissive? I can't really bring myself to give just one thing. It wouldn't do justice to what makes me so happy about being her submissive. With that disclaimer out of the way...
1- Being the focus of attention of a beautiful, sexy, smart, and dominant woman.
2- Making the life of someone I love and serve better.
3- Belonging to her... the warm feeling of being her boy, pet, play toy.
4- The nature of the daily banter between a witty dominant woman and her submissive.
5- The daily rituals we have that reinforce our D/s relational dynamics.
6- Being the object of her dominant and sexual desires.
7- Being with someone who appreciates, respects, and loves me as I am and for whom I am.
8- The rush of the tension and dynamics of a relationship where power exchange plays a big part.
9- Knowing that she finds her own enjoyment in the physical, mental, and emotional sensations she gives me.

"Me and my mistress" by zephyrianboom, found on Lunar Black

Recent purchases - 1 (E)

New Eternity Collar and new locking leather collar

There are few things in life that are as exciting for kink-oriented folks as getting new toys to play with and new items to fetish-obsess over. We might have had a long blogging hiatus these past few months, but we were definitely adding to our collection during that time.

My ever-present Eternity Collar, locked around my neck for all of the past two-and-a-half years, except for maybe a total of 72 hours (airports and occasional high-security checks, and out-patient surgery), was starting to show some wear.

Old Eternity Collar (and a pretty rigid 2" locking leather collar)

Not structurally, of course… Stainless steel is pretty sturdy against human flesh.  But the black coating finish on my Phantom Eternity Collar (seen above), started chipping against the daily impact of locks, rings, and leashes.  While neither one us could be disappointed since we had put the metal collar through a lot in well over two years, the increasingly numerous aesthetic flaws eventually got Goddess Selena in the mood for a new Eternity Collar, and she wanted to get me one that might grow old a little more gracefully.  So back to the Eternity Collars site we went, and she chose a collar from their Vivid line. Beyond the frosted metallic effect, which is very cool, this collar looked like it could take some slight dings over time and not show them so readily.

New "Vivid" Eternity Collar

Goddess Selena seems quite pleased with the purchase, and the change of scenery.  And now with the new Eternity Collar and the old one, I guess this would give her the option, when she feels especially controlling, to temporarily lock on the older one too on certain outings when a locking leather collar might not be appropriate.  I'm sure she would enjoy the control of knowing the heavier and more restrictive feel around my neck, and that she would get excited hearing the occasional ringing sounds of the two steel collars moving against each other.  She so loves hearing metal pieces cling together when I’m in bondage...

New locking leather collar (back view of the same collar shown in the first picture of this post)

Speaking of wear… when used every day, even the best leather collars will start to show their age in time.  We have found out that with daily use in the evening and overnight, and nearly around the clock on weekends and on days off, a great quality leather collar will last nearly two years before stretch or texture or material or skin issues come up.  So it was time for a new locking leather collar too.  We came across an absolutely splendid collar on an eBay store called Goth Fashions, and it had all the elements that Goddess Selena likes to see in my collars.  It has three layers of leather, including a finished inner layer, three large D-rings, and of course, it locks.  This is by far the heaviest collar I have ever worn on a regular basis, and at 2.5", also the widest.  And it has been an absolute D/s thrill.  Where most of my previous collars were subtle reminders of my submission to Goddess Selena (unless she was tugging on them or an attached leash), this collar is a blunt and powerful presence reflecting my D/s commitment to Goddess Selena.  It is heftily and dominantly there every minute of that it's locked on me, a very tangible physical extension of Goddess Selena’s control.  I feel it all the time, and that is totally intoxicating, in a D/s kind of way.

And just to close out this post, one of my favorite pictures of Goddess Selena pulling me in (older locking leather collar).

Absence makes the dominant heart grow hungrier - part one (E)

Picture courtesy of Justin Thai, found originally on Stylish Femdom

It has been a very long time since the last post.  No, no… don’t be concerned.  Life sometimes gets in the way of blogging.  My apologies for the absence.  I will try my best to catch-up over the next week or so as I’ve had an irresistible urge in the past few weeks to return to the blog to share thoughts and highlights of our humble and kinky lives.  And I know you’ve missed us…  J

Several weeks ago, after a 6-day absence from home, Goddess Selena returned with an intense need to express her dominance.  She had been home for barely a few hours before I was bound, blindfolded, on all-fours on our bed, and she was standing next to me with her two favorite canes, a traditional thin switch and a hard lexan purple cane.  She teased me, hurt me, and then totally owned me with what must have been 50 or 60 strokes.  I felt the tell-tale signs of deep subspace mid-way through as I relaxed against the bondage, and the skin on my back broke into a light sweat of surrender.

While my backside was still hot and tingly, and my mind engulfed in her power, Goddess Selena had me lie down on the bed and marked me as “Selena’s Bitch 4ever” with a Sharpie pen.  I could feel her beaming in dominant satisfaction through every inch of my body.

She followed up by taking out our largest insert able, and assaulted me anally in an irresistibly erotic and dominant way.  I was awash in wave after deeper wave of subspace, and at each higher level of sensations and surrender she brought me to a moment of nexus where I didn’t know if I could handle any more yet I didn’t want her to stop. Goddess Selena took her time to slowly run through virtually all of the vibrator’s settings before she felt the need to move on.

Without pause, Goddess Selena proceeded to remove just enough ties to allow us to make love with an intensity, if not a savagery, that I had not felt in a long time.  From the violence of our thrusting against each other to the intense nipple torture she loves to submit me to during our lovemaking, it was absolutely overwhelming on all levels.  Several minutes after we had ended, my mind was still moving and dizzy, like the sensation one gets stopping suddenly after turning around and around and around.

We went to sleep shortly thereafter, and Goddess Selena left me in bondage overnight.

Artwork courtesy of The Heart's Dark Desires

It's the little things... (E)

Image courtesy of S.I.N. via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

The little things in a relationship really do matter. There's a quote that goes something like "It's not what you say, it's not even what you do, it's how you make people feel that matters." And that's just so true in the relationship Goddess Selena and I share.

The feeling of warmth, affection, love, caring, positive co-dependence, loyalty, trust, and D/s permeates every aspect of our relationship, and every thought that I have involving my beloved Goddess. The nature of this blog being what it is, I won't bore you all with mushy stuff, but I thought I would take a few minutes to share a few of the little things (D/s oriented) that in their own way represent and define our dynamics.

I am presently away on a 4-day 3-night road trip. Like usual, Goddess Selena expects updates of what I'm doing and where I am at all times. She can also check on my location, providing her an idea of what I'm likely to be doing, through the tracking service that locks on to the position of my smart phone. It makes me feel special that she cares that much about what I'm up to, and that she wants to stay in touch throughout the day. Of course, the D/s control and ownership thing is really hot too. Done within a loving and trusting relationship, it makes me feel warm, wanted, cared for, and loved. And submissive and owned.

Image courtesy of the always stunning Mistress Eleise de Lacy via Femdom-SM

The latter is reinforced by the fact that my Goddess still expects me to wear a collar, in addition to my permanent Eternity Collar, at all times I'm in my hotel room. As a reminder. And I must text or call her for permission to remove it if/when I need to leave the room. The asking for permission and the granting of the permission at a distance of several hundred miles is a wonderfully powerful exercise of her dominance over me, and a demonstration of my submission to her. Our relationship is always switched on, even when far away from each other, and our D/s dynamics are always in play.

Our lives are full of rituals that are made up of little things. "Coffee and Clamps!" on mornings when neither one of us works, or will be going into work later. I'll be sitting at her feet regularly throughout the day (and at all times she smokes... I'm required to hold her ashtray from that position) when we stay at home. I'll be in bondage close to her, and often serve as furniture, when we have quiet time watching television for a stretch. I'll be in a submissive and controlled position when we go to bed, with or without bondage. I'll present myself for her to place and lock a leather collar around my neck any time I return home, and submissively ask her to remove it before I leave.

The expectations of my domestic duties. The kissing her feet daily. The caning/paddling/flogging I receive after we play competitive board games, one of our favorite hobbies; even when I win, she has a reason to have a go at my backside, and if I lose, well, she'll definitely be having fun. The painting of her toe nails on the weekends. The dynamics of our decision-making... she wants to know what I think and what I suggest we do, but the final decision is always hers alone to make.

Artwork courtesy of Fluffy Bunny Domination

And then there's the wonderfully random stuff. Goddess Selena smoking provocatively when we're on our traditional Skype call each night I'm on a road trip. Teasing dominant texts out-of-the-blue. Nipple torture... all of a sudden... just because. Ink or Sharpie markings of D/s and/or love on my back when the mood strikes her.

Don't get me wrong... The big "official" scenes are fantastic. Protracted scenes with any combination of caning, paddling, flogging, hot wax, clothespins, strap-on play, heavy nipple torture, sharp objects, significant bondage and restraint, breath play, sexual servitude, and more, always take me into a state of deep subspace that I yearn to return to time and time again. Unless I'm still physically sore from the previous scene, I can never get enough of them. I think about these scenes often. Maybe even too much.

Image courtesy of Cybill Troy via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

But it's the continual warmth and glow of the little things that stays with me at all times, literally every moment of the day and night. They are the constant reminder of the beauty of our relationship, of the continual psychic touch of the other, of the strong yet flexible ties that bind us, and of the feelings that really matter.

Artwork courtesy of Fluffy Bunny Domination

Retiring a collar (E)

With much sadness, my Goddess and I retired the locking heavy rubber collar this past week. Purchased six months ago, it had seen fairly heavy use as one of two collars in rotation since that time. The “clanky” collar, as she called it, had become her choice about half the time as she loved the noise it made from the four large double-rings that rang against each other and against my permanently affixed Eternity Collar with any movement I made.

I rapidly became quite fond of it as well as the 2” width and its rigidity made it feel more severe than the leather collars. More severe meant that I definitely felt my Goddess’ dominance and control more explicitly and forcefully when she chose this collar over the others, and it created in me a deeper sense of submission and being owned.

We were forced to retire it as the slit that was used for the locking buckle split completely open, making it unusable. Using the next slit would make it far too tight to be used safely.

The advantage of heavy rubber collars over leather ones is that they are very low maintenance and exceedingly easy to clean and keep fresh, important considerations for us as my Goddess keeps a collar locked on me roughly 10-12 hours a day on work days, and around the clock on non-work days. Exceptions to the latter are only afforded for outings in public and working out.

Their disadvantages are that they can pick-up a bit of a smell if not cleaned on a regular basis, they wear out more readily, and they can/eventually break. Good quality leather collars will stretch out with wear, and they do require upkeep, but they will last for a very long time (years) with a bit of care.

We are certainly not disappointed with having purchased it earlier this year. And I would not be surprised to find another one in our lives in the future. For now, the locking purple leather collar will become the daily mainstay, with an older all-black locking leather collar serving as an occasional alternate, while my Goddess decides on our next collar purchase.

Public display of ownership (E)

Image courtesy of Slaves of the Goddess

Yesterday, my Goddess took the opportunity to display her ownership of me in public in a subtle manner that left me a bit submissively tingly all over, as much over how she did it as the unexpected way in which it came up.

One of the side effects of wearing my Eternity Collar since my Goddess first locked it around my neck over one-and-a-half year ago is that it sets off theft detection devices in many stores. No, don’t worry about seeing me behind bars anytime soon. I set off the detection devices walking into, as well as walking out of, the stores. On the way into stores, it normally elicits a look of surprise on the faces of staff at registers or near entrances, to which I normally respond by raising my hands and shoulders up in the air and providing an expression of “I have no idea why it did that.” On the way out of stores, the alarm going off usually means a trip back to the register for staff to re-swipe some of my purchases, occasionally emptying my pockets, and trying my best to look innocent. Often this is followed by a piece of advice from staff that most likely I’m wearing a piece of clothing that still has its original anti-theft tag.

Yesterday, after a wonderful romantic lunch together, My Goddess and I spent the afternoon doing some shopping in a nearby town. One of our stops was a favorite large bookstore, where we spent about 45 minutes. Yes, I set-off the alarm on the way in. When that happened, I looked in the direction of the young woman at one of the sales registers (she was the only staff in that area), threw up my hands, and we both shared a quizzical look on our faces at a distance of about 7-8 yards. My Goddess, who had gone in a few steps ahead of me, which she always does when we expect I’ll trigger the alarm, looked at me with her usual knowing smile, and we went about our business.

Once we were done with our browsing, and we had finalized our selection, we headed off to pay. The same young woman that we had made eye contact with at the entrance was manning the only sales register available. She was perhaps early to mid-20s in age. She was very pretty, wore glasses, had multiple facial and ear piercings, and had a significant number of tattoos. My Goddess and I exchanged pleasantries with her as she processed the purchases and payment. And then, as we were about to leave, to prepare for the inevitable, I reminded her that I was the one who set-off the alarm on my way in, so I was likely to trigger it again on my way out. I apologized in advance, and told her that I seemed to have that effect on their theft detection device. The young woman said that sometimes such things happened, and provided me with the theory of the still hidden clothing tag that had never been removed. My Goddess chimed in that I did set-off alarms in many stores, and that I was kind of special that way.

After a round of laughs to this last comment, unexpectedly, my Goddess reached under the t-shirt and polo shirt I was wearing, exposed my Eternity Collar to the young woman by holding it about half-way up my neck, and said:

“His collar is probably what’s causing it.”

The young woman paused, looked with fascination at my heavy metal collar, and smiled.

Image courtesy of An Addiction to Submission, with the original source possibly being Femdom Empire

The three of us said goodbye, and my Goddess and I headed for the exit. I triggered the alarm as expected, we both turned to the young woman at the register, all three of us smiled, and my Goddess and I finally left the store.

As we walked away, I teased my Goddess on her boldness. She replied, with a big smile, that she just felt like it. I could tell she enjoyed showing-off. Showing off her possession… her pet… her toy… her control… her power…

While neither one of us could be sure the young woman we exchanged with would recognize the Eternity Collar, or know its significance, this very random moment provided both of us with a bit of an exhibitionist thrill. And who knows… maybe it left the young woman at the bookstore with a lasting, knowing smile too.

In a fortuitous bit of coincidence, this noteworthy event happened yesterday just as this is the first weekend in over a month that I have a few moments for a blog post. The timing could not have been more perfect.

Photo of Mistress Mischelle courtesy of Love Thy Mistress

What I'm wearing right now (E)

My Goddess texted me mid-afternoon yesterday that she was "in a mood." That usually means that she's feeling especially possessive and dominant. It's a not-so-subtle signal that I should be coming back home properly submissive and ready to do her bidding. She also knows that from the time she lets me know that she's "in a mood", my sense of anticipation grows exponentially until I find out what she has in mind.

We both came back home quite late, and after a short chat to catch up on our respective days at work, we headed to the bedroom ready to call it a day. My Goddess was quick to grab the metal handcuffs off her bedside table, and lock them around my wrists. Perhaps echos of Tuesday evening's overnight bondage. And at that moment, I found out what she had in mind: "Tattoos & Bondage!"

Once I was handcuffed, my Goddess made me lie on my stomach, and attached the cuffs to the headboard of the bed. She then sat on my lower back, and went to work. She took two Sharpies, and spent the next 10-15 minutes visually expressing herself. It was not a tattoo, obviously, but the content was just as heartfelt and powerfully evocative in the emotions it brought up. Dominant and possessive indeed!

After seeing what it looked like in the morning, I remembered vaguely a post I had written quite a while ago, Reminders of so many things:

"The symbolism of the markings goes far beyond the simple gestures and play of putting them on. Both my Goddess and I will be seeing them for days to come, and reminded of this little scene. Reminded of the significance of the markings. Reminded of the nature of our relationship. Reminded of our love for each other."

And those words are as true today as they were almost two years. So for the past 24 hours, I've been wearing my Goddess' markings with much pride, satisfaction, and a lasting feeling of subspace. And I know these deep feelings will remain with me over the course of the next few days, until the last vestiges of last night's expression of my Goddess' dominance and possessiveness finally wash off.

Kitara's Prize, by Chaypeta, via Lunar Black

Quote (and moment) of the day (E)

Image courtesy of Balkan Brat Domination via Slaves of the Goddess

So there we were at a family function this afternoon. I was in the living room, chatting with the husband of one of my Goddess' cousins. My Goddess walks into the room, snaps her fingers at me, and gestures me to join her, hinting that we have to step outside for her to smoke.

The fellow I was talking with begins to laugh as I stand up to join my Goddess and jokes "You've been summoned!"

He turns to her and exclaims "Now, that's good training!"

Not missing a beat, my Goddess replies: "You bet that's good training. You think they come out of the box that way?"

I felt a rush, a little wave of subspace, and quietly and proudly followed my Goddess out the front door.

Image courtesy of http://www.underherfeet.com/ via Slaves of the Goddess

In captivity... highlights of game night (E)

"Male Slave Bound Helpless" by Andrey Samacerv via Femdom Artists

Putting down images and emotions that she etched in my mind before the fog of subspace and the passage of time blur the specific details...

Captured... collared... wrists bound and ankles bound... blinfolded on and off... I couldn't keep up with her challenges... I couldn't bring down the number of strokes... the penguins just wouldn't stay on the iceberg... 7 strokes here... 19 strokes there... I lost track of the other numbers... she demanded I be on all-fours... sat on my back... sometimes the paddle... sometimes the cane...

My Goddess ordered me to lay down on my back on the sofa.... I struggled to get on... my breathing became more laborious as time passed while she sat on my mid-section for the duration... I was just another layer of the sofa under her... she lit a cigarette... put the ashtray on my chest... teased me with her smoke... teased my nipples with the burning tip... ordered me to open my mouth... tasted her ashes... I was her furniture and ashtray for the time it took her to smoke...

She walked away from the sofa for a minute... came back and began her to draw messages and symbols of her love for me, her dominance over me... from the top of my chest to my privates... I would remain marked and identified as her property for days to come...

The aftercare was tender... warm... close... so incredibly close to her... belonged to her... she cherished her possession, her property, her pet, her toy... so incredibly close...

Artwork courtesy of Shohei Yamashiro from Slug on Leather via Lunar Black

6 weeks of the Eternity Collar (E)

Image courtesy of http://m-gameboy2.tumblr.com/

It's been almost six weeks since my Goddess has placed the Eternity Collar around my neck, and screwed it closed. And its impact has been all we could have asked for.

Its heft and rigidity are constant reminders to me of what it represents: my submission to my Goddess, her ownership of me, my status as her toy, her pet, her boy.

Its presence, and the thought that I cannot remove it on my own without a very significant amount of trouble, are constant reminders to my Goddess of her dominance and control over me, and of my belonging to her. I am hers.

While there was a bit of self-consciousness on my part at the beginning, despite the pride of wearing it for my Goddess, that's totally gone now, and I don't mind in the least who sees it. The powerful symbolism and the physical reminder of our D/s dynamics are all that remain.

While the eternity collar in black (Phantom Line) is a classic piece that blends in fairly well with casual clothing and goes unnoticed under more business/formal attire, it is more much difficult to miss when if I leave the neck of a shirt unbuttoned, or if I wear something with a lower neckline (T-shirt, anything with a crew neck).

In a funny anecdote, I was getting my haircut recently at a barber shop, and the lady cutting my hair needed to trim the hair on the back of my neck. She took hold of the eternity collar to move it out of the way, and said, "Oh my God! That thing weighs a ton!" She did ask where I got it. I simply replied that it was a gift from my beloved, and it was a symbol of the strength of our love and relationship...

Interestingly, nobody else has said anything else about the eternity collar.

There is so much about of the eternity collar that I love. I love it when my Goddess grabs a hold of the eternity collar to pull me in for a kiss, to tell me something dominant or dirty, or to simply remind me of who holds the reins. I love it when we make love, and the D-ring of the locked leather collar my Goddess put on me in the early evening dings loudly against the eternity collar. I love it when my Goddess catches a glimpse of the eternity collar, and she flashes one of her dominant "I own you, Bitch!" smiles. I love it when I'm apart from my Goddess for a short while, and I feel the eternity collar around my neck, and I bring a hand to it, and feel its strength and its size and its warmth. And I feel the texture of the hinge or the edges where the allen screw keeps it locked around my neck.

And most of all, I love it that my Goddess feels so strongly about our relationship, and the nature/dynamics of our relationship, that she wanted to have as imposing a piece as the eternity collar placed around my neck, in all that it is, and in all that it represents.


Image courtesy of www.meninpain.com via Miz Helena

The joys of control at a distance (E)

A few weeks back, my Goddess was feeling particularly controlling and possessive. As I dropped her off at work, she requested that I go back home, put on the ankle cuffs, lock them on, and wear them until we were together again at the end of the day.

Shortly after I returned home, I received a text message asking me if I had done what she had asked. I sent her the picture above...

She got such a kick out of the picture! There they were, exactly as she had demanded. The little things that make her (and me) happy...

The tangible feeling of her control, her ownership, and my belonging to her through the sensation of the locked cuffs is incredibly special. I absolutely love it whenever she asks me to wear bondage gear under my clothing. I just can't stop thinking about it, reaching for it, thinking of what happened when she had used it on me last, and anticipating what may come. Knowing that my Goddess is excited thinking about the fact that I am wearing, for her, bondage gear that I can't remove is just so totally hot.

Aaah... the little joys of another day in the life of a loving D/s couple...

Collar stories - 2 (E)

Artwork courtesy of Detours

It's pretty obvious for anyone that has read a handful of our posts that my Goddess and I place a very high significance on the symbolism of the locked leather collar that she places around my neck every evening, and that she removes the next time we prepare to go to work. Or before the next shower, if we have a day off. Or before someone comes over to the house.

During the last few weeks, I've been driving my Goddess to work early in the morning before coming back home and getting ready myself. And most mornings, my Goddess has been having us leave the house before removing the collar.

With the advent of the cooler weather and heavier clothes, it has been easier to keep the collar, its D-rings, and the hanging lock in back, relatively hidden from sight when leaving the house. In fact, if someone knew it was there, and looked for it, they would catch a glimpse of it sooner or later because it can't be hidden perfectly unless I wear a turtleneck and a scarf.

But the collar has stayed on because both of us enjoy the sight and the significance of the locked leather collar so much, and it extents part of my Goddess' control and ownership of me another 15-20 minutes. It is unlikely anybody will have a good enough look at it to make out what it is, except maybe the drive-thru person serving us my Goddess' morning cappucino (and they normally don't have much time to chat).

Just before dropping off my Goddess, I park the car very close to her work for a minute or so, we look around briefly in case anyone is looking at us, I lean over her lap, she removes the lock and unbuckles the collar, and we have a kiss before resuming our trip to the front door of her workplace.

To borrow an expression from Serving B's comment to my last post, it extends the roller coaster ride just a little longer, and it will make the wait for the next ride just a little bit shorter.

And it makes you wonder... once fall and winter come along, if you go into a public venue with, let's say 200 people, how many might be there be with locked leather collars or locked leather cuffs or eternity-type collars/bracelets/anklets or with locked chastity devices on?

A little time of our own - part 2 (E)

Artwork courtesy of Cruella via Dishevelled Domina

If you haven't read part one, go do it now... this is the continuation of the same evening...

Bound, senses taken away, lost in subspace, I can feel my Goddess' dominance radiating and reaching me in an almost tangible way. I can hear the syren song of her power in every word she says... every gesture she makes... every action she takes...

She leaves me alone bound and immobile for a minute, and returns shortly. She begins to tease my nipples, moves down for some CBT, and comes back to the nipples more forcefully. I actually don't hear her light her cigarette, but it was clear that she had when I felt her first exhale is directed to my face. Subspace just keeps getting deeper. Her next drag comes right to my mouth as she grabs the central D-ring of my collar to make sure I don't move as her mouth covers mine. Some smoking play follows... forced inhales... forced smoking... punctuated by my Goddess doing some cigarette torture, tormenting my nipples with the tip of her lit cigarette. I try to stay still for her, despite the occasional searing heat approaching one nipple, and then the other, between breathing in her exhales, and some forced smoking. As she hits on so many smoking fetish buttons, I have vivid flashbacks running through my mind of imagery of her smoking, exhaling, and handling a cigarette at other times, when I could see her.

Winding down somewhat, my Goddess does not want to close out such powerful time together without leaving us both with something to remember... markings.

We both love markings, each for our own reasons. Playful and full of symbolism, even the temporary nature of the playful markings my Goddess will apply on me can make for some powerful emotions during play. They reinforce the dynamics of our everyday life. And they are vivid reminders for days after.

This time, it is a chain of roses around my right upper arm. A heart on the right side of my chest. And an "S" for Selena on my... member. As she applies it, she reminds me that it belonged to her anyways. And that I belonged to her.

Yes it does, my Love... and yes I do...

Of collars and bondage, and ownership and belonging (E)

"Dominate Your Man Today" by Horus-Goddess

Over the weekend, 36 uninterrupted hours of wearing the locked leather collar... around the home, and on two errands outside the home. I intoxincatingly belonged to my Goddess...

An evening with my wrists and ankles bound, entertaining my Goddess... playing board games, watching television, doing whatever little thing she required of me. And after all the time we've been together, My Goddess' mischevious smile and her sense of enjoyment watching me hobble around the house has never diminished...

I spent overnight sleeping in bondage next to my Goddess... Limited in my movements, which inevitably kept me in various positions of contact with her. Couldn't get away... Didn't want to get away...

This morning, my Goddess removed my leather collar and the four locked cuffs before leaving for work, she told me she expected the house to be straightened out and significantly neater when she returned. Nothing makes cleaning up around the house as enjoyable as when my Goddess is expecting it, and will notice it.

As a side note, the arrival of the cooler weather is delightfully promising of more frequent, but discreet, outdoors kinky play. Jackets, fleeces, and sweaters are great to hide the locked leather collar during daytime errands or excursions with my Goddess; occasionally, the locked wrist cuffs may also be on. The return of long pants will have my Goddess locking ankle cuffs before I leave for work.

The warmth under the leather. The texture and the firmness of the leather. The ungiving of the secure locks. The restraints of the clips and ties. Sensuality... exchange of power... dominance and submission... vulnerability and trust... control, and surrender... belonging and ownership... Each from our particular position, we so enjoy these little moments full of symbolism and excitement.

The freedom not to be free (E)

"I'll keep you", from http://mangademon333.deviantart.com

"... I don't know how these guys do it, and how these women let them do it. I know where he [Endymion] is all the time, and what he's doing."

I overheard this comment from my Goddess to someone very close to us as they caught part of a television show that dealt with cheating.

I thought that was hot. I loved hearing her say that. It was a powerful reminder of our bond of love, our enjoyment of each other's company, our D/s relationship, and of our lifestyle.

I don't have the least interest in being away from my Goddess for any reason. Every moment is happier, more intense, funnier, richer, more enjoyable, and more interesting for sharing it with her. I certainly have no interest in straying... why would I risk what I'd be hoping for all my life? I am deeply in love with her, and uncurably addicted to her. Any time spent doing something without her, never mind time with another woman, would be time away from my Goddess, and that's simply not a good trade-off. It would be a waste of opportunity. The opportunity to spend more time with her.

In addition, between my mainstream collar, which cannot be removed and has clear symbolism once made visible, and the locked ankle cuffs that I am often asked to wear under long pants, there are physical and visual barriers that would take the air out of any attempted adventurous interlude.

I love being hers. I love even more that she loves that I am hers. The control she has over where I am and what I'm doing at anytime is an implicit part of our D/s dynamics, and reinforces them. It isn't done in distrust, but it makes trust implicit and almost 100% verifiable for her, and I see it has a sign of how much she cares. The loss of freedom is insignificant and forgotten in contrast to the gain of sharing and happiness.

Where some might see loss, limits, and constraints, I see the reaching of a dream, two people that can't be away from each other, and an intense flow of feelings of owning and belonging. Now that I am where I've wanted to be all my life, why would I be upset at not having the luxury of leaving it?

The prospect to exploring further and deeper with my Goddess, hand-in-hand on our common journey, is immensely more appealing me than any scenario that would not include her. And that's why not only do I not mind the situation, I think it's really hot.

Reminders of so many things (E)

Artwork courtesy of http://lunarblack.tumblr.com/

Markings had been on her mind for a while. And absent of our play for several weeks. I know that if it would be up to my Goddess, they would be a weekly ritual. At least.

After the ritual collaring for that evening, and the placing and locking of the leather wrist cuffs and ankle cuffs, my Goddess ordered me to lay down on the bed, on my back. Quickly, the wrist cuffs were clipped together, and then the ankle cuffs. The nightly collaring always deepens my sense of submission to my Goddess, and the extra bondage gear only amplifies that feeling. I also love it when I can feel her excitement and anticipation at locking me away, rendering me helpless.

Belong to her... vulnerable... pet... excited... owned... in her control... play toy... I can feel her hunger... all hers... what's next... doesn't matter... anything she wants... do what you want, my Goddess...

Just a few thoughts running through my mind between the time she orders me to lie down, and she has me bound to her liking. She goes into the closet to retrieve a blindfold. She wants to maintain, perhaps extend, the suspense. Once the blindfold on, my Goddess reconsiders my predicament for an instant, and unclips the wrist cuffs. She reattaches each wrist cuff to a side D-ring on my locking leather collar. Movement is further restrained.

My Goddess sits on my hips, and begins to torment and torture my nipples. A familiar position, but also one of our favorites. The more she hurts me, the more I helplessly squirm under her. An occasional moan escapes. All of it excites her, empowers her, makes her hungrier for more. It doesn't take long before the dominoes fall: she increases the intensity of the pain to the point where my reactions excite her so much that she reaches climax. I know... it never ceases to amaze me that simply between her enjoyment of hurting me, her excitement, feeling me squirm, and hearing the deep moans that unintentionally escape me, she can reach orgasm. It's so fucking hot.

But the real purpose of this evening has yet to be revealed: the markings. My Goddess has been feeling particularly possessive these last few days. Time for some physical evidence. She reaches into one of our bedroom drawers for a rather elaborate set of temporary tattoos. No Sharpies tonight. She goes into the bathroom to get a a cup of water. She returns to sit on my hips again, and goes to work. Only once she started cleaning my skin did I piece together this new development. Until then, I had been too lost in deepening subspace.

Between some tweaking of my nipples and some CBT, she places one temporary tattoo on my right chest, and one on my left chest. She releases the clips binding my wrist cuffs to my collar, clips the wrist cuffs together once more, and has me turn on my front. And places a third temporary tattoo on the left side of my upper back.

The meticulous care she takes in placing them is a reflection of the attention and care she gives me in everything . The symbolism of the markings goes far beyond the simple gestures and play of putting them on. Both my Goddess and I will be seeing them for days to come, and reminded of this little scene. Reminded of the significance of the markings. Reminded of the nature of our relationship. Reminded of our love for each other.

The tattoos have been applied, and have dried. She removes the blindfold, and the first thing my sight falls upon is her beaming smile. A dominant and possessive smile of satisfaction. She takes hold of the central D-ring of my collar, pulls me in close to her face, and tells me emphatically "Mine!"

She pulls me in for a hug. I loop my bound hands around her as we are both sitting on the bed. She unclips my wrist cuffs and lays back. She pulls me over her. She must have me inside her. We make passionate and painful love. She won't have it any other way. Her nails are all over my arms, my back, my nipples. Her hand goes around my throat. She squeezes for a few moments. She returns to the nipples. We continue the exchange of energy and sensations... dominance and submission... pleasure and pain... ownership and belonging... until climax is unavoidable.

And for days after, we are reminded...

The sounds of belonging and ownership (E)

Artwork courtesy of http://bringonxtoys.tumblr.com/

I can't describe the joy on my Goddess' face when she hears me walking around while wearing my locked leather collar, a pair of locked leather wrist cuffs, and a pair of locked leather ankle cuffs. And the 24/7 locked chain around my neck.

She loves the visuals of me wearing all those items. She loves the feel of being able to grab a D-ring to pull me to her. She loves being able to grab a clip or two and instantly restrain my movement drastically. She loves holding on to the cuff when we're close or when we sleep. She loves the ungiving feeling of the leather against my neck or one of my limbs. I know she enjoys the symbolism of it all. It's reassuring and empowering for her.

And the placing of those items on me each evening is a very special ritual for both of us.

But the sounds of having me in those items just drives her crazy. The sounds of the locks swinging around. The sounds of the locks clinging against the buckles. The sounds that I make when I walk, sit, lie, get up, turn, bend, or pretty much doing anything.

Those little sounds give her so much satisfaction. They make her so proud. They make her so happy.

And it makes me so happy to make her so happy.