"... when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
-- When Harry met Sally

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
-- Carl Jung

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Little noisy steps (E)

Artwork courtesy of http://missblackmamba.tumblr.com

It's already almost 9:00 pm. We spent a good part of the day on the road. We get to the hotel room exhausted and hungry. My Goddess is in the mood for pizza, so we order in. By the time it arrives, and we eat, it's well past 10 o'clock, and we have to get up extra early in the morning to get a good start on the day.

It's a bit of a downer for my Goddess. She'd been looking forward to this for weeks. There's always something special about sex, or BDSM, in a different place. But she's just too tired, and her mind is already focused on the next day. I'm tired too, but I could play. I can always play. Or not. It's not my decision, and frankly, the role of the submissive in BDSM play is never as demanding as actively and intensely topping. If we do play, great, if not, then I know my Goddess will be ravenous for it the next evening.

I bring her my locking leather collar for our nightly ritual. She also wants the wrist cuffs and the ankle cuffs. In that order, she places each of them on me and locks them. Then she reaches for some clips, and clips my wrist cuffs together, and then my ankle cuffs. My Goddess tells me that the ankle cuffs will remain clipped over night. And then she sends me to get her a glass of water at the other end of the room. The sight and sound of my little noisy steps bring to her face the biggest smile. She loves seeing me in bondage struggling to do her bidding. At first she gets a predatory look in her eyes, and then she relaxes... things are as they should be.

I come back with her water, holding the glass in both cuffed hands, hobbling along as the clip strains against the D-rings of the ankle cuffs. Steps are limited to less than 6 inches, the length of the 4.5" clip, and whatever the room the D-rings allow. She slowly looks me up and down, enjoying that her pet is locked away, knowing that I cannot escape her, that she is in total control.

There's something intoxicating about feeling her dominance like that. In such a simple but powerful way. There's something to goes right to the core of domination and submission in being caught in a delicately vulnerable and inescapable predicament, in the control of the one I love and surrender to, to her great enjoyment and satisfaction. Over the years, I've had the privilege of some extraordinary experiences in D/s and BDSM... some of them very intense, and some would say a bit extreme. And yet, I would turn my back on all of it in exchange for the elegant simplicity of feeling trapped, captured, controlled at the hand of my beautiful, dominant, and loving Goddess, and feeling her empowerment of being able to do with me what she wants.

Before going to bed, she unclips my wrist cuffs... she wants us to sleep especially closely that night. Good to her word, she leaves the ankle cuffs clipped. And when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, the little noisy steps wake her gently, for just a few seconds, as she pops her head off the pillow just long enough to enjoy my predicament again. As I lay down in bed, she turns toward me, grabs the central D-ring of my collar, and falls asleep again in that position.

The morning brought more of the same, as the coffee maker was at the other end of the room, and I went back and forth a number of times to service her, but just as important, for her enjoyment.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Reminders of so many things (E)

Artwork courtesy of http://lunarblack.tumblr.com/

Markings had been on her mind for a while. And absent of our play for several weeks. I know that if it would be up to my Goddess, they would be a weekly ritual. At least.

After the ritual collaring for that evening, and the placing and locking of the leather wrist cuffs and ankle cuffs, my Goddess ordered me to lay down on the bed, on my back. Quickly, the wrist cuffs were clipped together, and then the ankle cuffs. The nightly collaring always deepens my sense of submission to my Goddess, and the extra bondage gear only amplifies that feeling. I also love it when I can feel her excitement and anticipation at locking me away, rendering me helpless.

Belong to her... vulnerable... pet... excited... owned... in her control... play toy... I can feel her hunger... all hers... what's next... doesn't matter... anything she wants... do what you want, my Goddess...

Just a few thoughts running through my mind between the time she orders me to lie down, and she has me bound to her liking. She goes into the closet to retrieve a blindfold. She wants to maintain, perhaps extend, the suspense. Once the blindfold on, my Goddess reconsiders my predicament for an instant, and unclips the wrist cuffs. She reattaches each wrist cuff to a side D-ring on my locking leather collar. Movement is further restrained.

My Goddess sits on my hips, and begins to torment and torture my nipples. A familiar position, but also one of our favorites. The more she hurts me, the more I helplessly squirm under her. An occasional moan escapes. All of it excites her, empowers her, makes her hungrier for more. It doesn't take long before the dominoes fall: she increases the intensity of the pain to the point where my reactions excite her so much that she reaches climax. I know... it never ceases to amaze me that simply between her enjoyment of hurting me, her excitement, feeling me squirm, and hearing the deep moans that unintentionally escape me, she can reach orgasm. It's so fucking hot.

But the real purpose of this evening has yet to be revealed: the markings. My Goddess has been feeling particularly possessive these last few days. Time for some physical evidence. She reaches into one of our bedroom drawers for a rather elaborate set of temporary tattoos. No Sharpies tonight. She goes into the bathroom to get a a cup of water. She returns to sit on my hips again, and goes to work. Only once she started cleaning my skin did I piece together this new development. Until then, I had been too lost in deepening subspace.

Between some tweaking of my nipples and some CBT, she places one temporary tattoo on my right chest, and one on my left chest. She releases the clips binding my wrist cuffs to my collar, clips the wrist cuffs together once more, and has me turn on my front. And places a third temporary tattoo on the left side of my upper back.

The meticulous care she takes in placing them is a reflection of the attention and care she gives me in everything . The symbolism of the markings goes far beyond the simple gestures and play of putting them on. Both my Goddess and I will be seeing them for days to come, and reminded of this little scene. Reminded of the significance of the markings. Reminded of the nature of our relationship. Reminded of our love for each other.

The tattoos have been applied, and have dried. She removes the blindfold, and the first thing my sight falls upon is her beaming smile. A dominant and possessive smile of satisfaction. She takes hold of the central D-ring of my collar, pulls me in close to her face, and tells me emphatically "Mine!"

She pulls me in for a hug. I loop my bound hands around her as we are both sitting on the bed. She unclips my wrist cuffs and lays back. She pulls me over her. She must have me inside her. We make passionate and painful love. She won't have it any other way. Her nails are all over my arms, my back, my nipples. Her hand goes around my throat. She squeezes for a few moments. She returns to the nipples. We continue the exchange of energy and sensations... dominance and submission... pleasure and pain... ownership and belonging... until climax is unavoidable.

And for days after, we are reminded...

Monday, June 28, 2010

Making up for lost time (E)

Artwork courtesy of http://www.sankakucomplex.com/

Real-life has been incredibly busy, and has left me little time to write. But my Goddess and I have beeen afforded an unusual amount of time and privacy to catch up on more formal play in the past week, something we had been looking forward to for quite a while. My Goddess had been dying for some really intense extended play. I'll share some of the details of those moments over the course of the next few days.

In the meantime, all you get are a few highlights:
  • my Goddess marking me for her personal pleasure and ownership;
  • lots of bondage;a caning session that made my knees give out from an all-fours position;
  • did I mention lots of bondage?
  • some wax play;
  • sexual servitude almost every evening;
  • several nights sleeping in bondage;
  • CBT & clothespins;
  • a few evenings painful lovemaking (well, both painful and pleasurable for me, all pleasure for my Goddess);
  • lots of NT;
  • the usual domestic servitude;
  • and some spectacular sex during a violent thunderstorm, where the flashes of the lighting strikes lit up the room and my Goddess' facial expressions while she was enjoying both hurting me and our lovemaking.
It had been a while since we were so intensely active for so many days in a row, beyond our daily D/s dynamics, and it was mind-blowingly spectacular. More to come. I was too busy with that too to write much. Priorities, you know...

Monday, June 21, 2010

A different kind of moan (E)

Artwork courtesy of http://ruero.com/ via http://thoushalllovethymistress.tumblr.com/

It started like most other evenings...

My Goddess came into the bedroom from a refreshing shower. I was waiting for her on my knees, next to the bed, with the locking leather collar before me, and the lock and key on the side of the bed. Our nightly ritual...

She sat on the edge of the bed, smelling fragrant and looking beautiful. I bent forward and put my head on her lap. She placed the collar around my neck, made sure the buckle was in the right position, gently hooked the small lock through the locking buckle, and the magical click marked yet another night of me wearing the definitive sign of her ownership.

She lifted my head to give me a kiss, and tell me once more how special our daily collaring ritual was for her.

And then she was in the mood for something more...

While I was still on my knees, my Goddess reached down to my nipples for some teasing and torture. I closed my eyes. She quickly increased the intensity. Involuntary sounds came from deep within me. Letting go with one hand, she grabbed the main D-ring of my collar and pulled me in for a kiss. We locked lips, not so tenderly, and she reached into my mouth with her tongue. We kept on kissing as she returned her hand so that she could torment both nipples once more.

Still locked in our kiss, she squeezed my nipples sharply with her nails. I moaned loudly, our kiss uninterrupted. I opened my eyes slightly at the surprise of the sound of my moan resonating inside her mouth. I felt a tremor go through her body. I could feel her becoming more empowered from caqpturing the sounds I was making inside her. I could feel her dominance rise. She hurt me even more, and would not let me breakaway from the kiss. She wanted to feel it again. And again. It was like she was feeding on this slightly different sensation, but she was feeding out of control.

She finally let go of my nipples, grabbed the central D-ring of my collar again with one hand, and pulled on my hair with the other. I had no choice but to follow her as she laid back on the bed, and forced my head into her sacred feminine area. The eroticism and dominance of her own actions totally overwhelmed her, and I spent an undetermined amount of time, that I could not even take a guess at, sexual servicing my Goddess, who had become completely insatiable.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The metal detector (E)

My first reaction is... ah, shit... I forgot that these guys have this big ass metal detector. New Courthouse. But I really need these forms from one of the clerks this afternoon.

Here goes...

Guard: "Please remove all metal objects and cell phone and put them in there. Wait for me to wave you through."

I empty my pockets, and put my keys, wallet, cell phone, and change into the small bin.

Me: "I'm really sorry about this, but there's a problem... my neck chain... it can't be removed."

Guard: "What?"

Me: "The chain around my neck... it can't be removed..."

Guard: "Why?"

Me: "It's locked."

Guard: "What?"

Me: "The chain... it's locked... only my wife has the key... and she's at work."

A second guard, standing at the entrance of a nearby room chatting with someone, comes over.

Guard 2: "What's going on?"

Guard 1: "He can't take off his chain."

Guard 2: "What?"

Guard 1: "He can't take off the chain around his neck."

The second guard looks at me gravely.

Guard 2: "You have to."

Me: "I can't. It's got a small padlock." I show him. "Only my wife has the key."

A third guard comes over from the same nearby room.

Guard 3: "What's the problem?"

Guard 1: "He can't take off his chain."

Guard 3: "What?"

Guard 2: "It's locked."

I show him the chain and padlock.

Guard 3: "It's locked?"

Guard 2: "It's locked."

Total silence. They look at each other. They look at me. Guard 2 looks at me pretty contemptuously.

Me: "It's a romantic thing..."

More silence.

Me: "It's very symbolic.... it makes us feel close."

Yet more silence.

Guard 1: "Go through. If it goes off, we'll use the wand."

I go through. The alarm goes off. They run the wand over me. It rings over the padlock part of the chain.

Guard 1: "St'alright. You're good."

I pick up my belongings from the basket that went through the X-Ray machine.

Me: "Thank you, gentlemen. You all have a great day."

I could feel their stares following me from behind.

Walking away, I felt part naughty, part exhibitionist. Despite the lack of disclosure, I definitely felt like my Goddess' possession. It made me feel very warm inside. I felt close to her, even if she was a few miles away at work. I felt no shame whatsoever. In a strange kind of way, instead of being embarassed, I felt proud. I belonged. I belonged to her.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Sleeping in bondage: a technical guide (E)

Artwork courtesy of Lunar Black.

One of our favorite bloggers, Ferns, dropped by to leave a comment related to sleeping in bondage on our last post. First off, if you've never read her blog, run, don't walk, to Dommes Chronicles
. Her writing translates a passion, a sense of urgency, and a feeling of hunger that is simply exceptional. One of the D/s best blogs out there.

She commented on the difficulties and the challenges of sleeping with a submissive in bondage. Despite the advantages and the D/s eroticism of it, it doesn't quite work for her. It wasn't the first time that someone had issues with the actual logistics of sleeping next to someone in bondage, so I thought I would share the technicalities of our two favorite positions when my Goddess decides that I will spend the night in bondage.

I have the advantage of being a fair bit taller than my Goddess, so in the first position, we've found this spooning position where she's inside me, I have my bottom arm under her neck and around her upper chest, and she pulls my top arm under her breast. She snuggles against me inside of my bound wrists. It helps to have a clip of at least 3", providing with the D-rings of the cuffs about 5" or so of spare room between the wrist cuffs. A clip in the 4.5" range, or even better, the use of a chain of a similar length, may allow for a even more comfortable position.

My top hand reaches almost around her lower breast, the hand from the lower arm reaches up to fit against her higher biceps, and the clip/link/chain normally crosses back across and in-between her breasts. My ankles are bound/clipped together, but unattached to anything, and this allows them to help with the spooning

Because of our difference in size/height, I can have my arms at that height on her torso, and still have her backside fit in perfectly into my hips. Most of the time, I can go all night like this, but depending on her head position, my bottom arm may go numb after a few hours, and we may have to change position.

I can see definitely see a problem with partners that are closer in height in this position, though.

In the second position, my Goddess will tie my hands to the headboard of the bed (individually, or bind my wrists together, and then tie them to the headboard), and tie my ankles (bound together, or not, or with a spreader bar) to the foot of the bed. Then she will lay down 3/4 on me, with her head on my chest, her top arm across my chest, and her top thigh coming across my hips. I can usually go the whole night in this position, unless I have a desperate urge to pee after a few hours, or if the arm position is a little too strict. Of course, this also gives her the opportunity, as she is often in the mood in the middle of the night, to bite one nipple and torture the other one with her nails.

These are the two positions that we have been quite successful with for overnight bondage. Totally hot, and totally subspace inducing for me.

Depending on body sizes, shapes, weight, and flexibility, mileage may vary...

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Shopping items for tomorrow (E)

Artwork courtesy of http://www.femdomartists.com/; can't quite make out the original artist.

After a week or so of my Goddess making sure that I go to sleep with my locking leather wrist cuffs and locking leather ankle cuffs, in addition to my usual locking leather collar, tonight she decided to clip the wrist cuffs together overnight, as well as the ankle cuffs.

Of course, having me spend the night in bondage is nothing new, but due to a number of circumstances and reasons, it had just not come up during the last few months. It quickly reminded me a few minutes ago how slow and laborious a trip to the bathroom can be with wrists and ankles bound.

Right after clipping my cuffs together, two-by-two, my Goddess took advantage of my position lying belly-down on the bed to get into one of her favorite positions and activities. She sat on my lower back, brought her hands under my chest, and began some pretty intense NT while I was bound, and trapped under her without possibility of escape. Not that I would try to escape... it's also one of my favorite predicaments, as wickedly painful as it can get (and it was).

She also told me that tomorrow, I have to go out and purchase a candle. It's been a very long time since our last wax play, and she's definitely in the mood for it. Has been for while now. And some temporary tattoos. She wants to have fun marking my body again.

I would be happy to get all deep on you about what these activities mean, and what they represent in our D/s dynamics, but my forearms are cramping up. The challenge of writing on a laptop while in bed with my wrists bound together, without making noise (locks swinging and hitting the edges and surface of the laptop), while next to my Goddess sleeping being what it is, I will end this post here, and try to gently stretch my forearms before falling asleep.

PS: And while typing in bondage is really hot, I must admit that I mentally cursed at every spelling mistake I had to go over with my hands in this awkward position...

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

The sounds of belonging and ownership (E)

Artwork courtesy of http://bringonxtoys.tumblr.com/

I can't describe the joy on my Goddess' face when she hears me walking around while wearing my locked leather collar, a pair of locked leather wrist cuffs, and a pair of locked leather ankle cuffs. And the 24/7 locked chain around my neck.

She loves the visuals of me wearing all those items. She loves the feel of being able to grab a D-ring to pull me to her. She loves being able to grab a clip or two and instantly restrain my movement drastically. She loves holding on to the cuff when we're close or when we sleep. She loves the ungiving feeling of the leather against my neck or one of my limbs. I know she enjoys the symbolism of it all. It's reassuring and empowering for her.

And the placing of those items on me each evening is a very special ritual for both of us.

But the sounds of having me in those items just drives her crazy. The sounds of the locks swinging around. The sounds of the locks clinging against the buckles. The sounds that I make when I walk, sit, lie, get up, turn, bend, or pretty much doing anything.

Those little sounds give her so much satisfaction. They make her so proud. They make her so happy.

And it makes me so happy to make her so happy.