What I'm wearing right now (E)

My Goddess texted me mid-afternoon yesterday that she was "in a mood." That usually means that she's feeling especially possessive and dominant. It's a not-so-subtle signal that I should be coming back home properly submissive and ready to do her bidding. She also knows that from the time she lets me know that she's "in a mood", my sense of anticipation grows exponentially until I find out what she has in mind.

We both came back home quite late, and after a short chat to catch up on our respective days at work, we headed to the bedroom ready to call it a day. My Goddess was quick to grab the metal handcuffs off her bedside table, and lock them around my wrists. Perhaps echos of Tuesday evening's overnight bondage. And at that moment, I found out what she had in mind: "Tattoos & Bondage!"

Once I was handcuffed, my Goddess made me lie on my stomach, and attached the cuffs to the headboard of the bed. She then sat on my lower back, and went to work. She took two Sharpies, and spent the next 10-15 minutes visually expressing herself. It was not a tattoo, obviously, but the content was just as heartfelt and powerfully evocative in the emotions it brought up. Dominant and possessive indeed!

After seeing what it looked like in the morning, I remembered vaguely a post I had written quite a while ago, Reminders of so many things:

"The symbolism of the markings goes far beyond the simple gestures and play of putting them on. Both my Goddess and I will be seeing them for days to come, and reminded of this little scene. Reminded of the significance of the markings. Reminded of the nature of our relationship. Reminded of our love for each other."

And those words are as true today as they were almost two years. So for the past 24 hours, I've been wearing my Goddess' markings with much pride, satisfaction, and a lasting feeling of subspace. And I know these deep feelings will remain with me over the course of the next few days, until the last vestiges of last night's expression of my Goddess' dominance and possessiveness finally wash off.

Kitara's Prize, by Chaypeta, via Lunar Black

Restraint... without restraints (E)

Artwork courtesy of Neshemadarkangel and Lunar Black

It was a few nights ago. I woke up briefly in the middle of the night, a BDSM scene vividly fresh in my mind from the dream that was interrupted. My reality was sleeping on my right side, at a slight angle relative to my Goddess, with her right leg over my thighs, the left one over my waist, and my left arm across her torso, held tight at the wrist and forearm by her hands.

I was restrained... virtually bound immobile by her limbs. I had woken up because of the slight discomfort (how long had I been in this position?), but being trapped in such a manner was so erotically charged in a D/s kind of way that I didn't want to move. And I didn't want to risk waking up my Goddess.

I felt the weight of her legs pinning me down. I felt the tension one of her hands and the weight of her left arm exerted in keeping the tension in my arm. The D/s sensuality of the immobility gave way, after deciding to try to fall back to sleep without moving, to a deep sense of surrender. And then subspace. Have you ever fallen asleep drifting into subspace? It's a very deep, very submissive, very peaceful sinking into sleep.

Sleep was overtaking me again. In those brief twilight moments, I had flashbacks to one of the last times my Goddess had me bound and stretched in a large closet that served as a small makeshift dungeon. Blindfolded, wrists bound to the upper clothes rack, ankles bound together, my ankles and knees bearing my weight. She left me there, waiting in the dark, for her return from taking a shower. She would later open the door and check on me briefly to make sure I was OK. After a pull on the nipple clamps, a delicate kiss on the lips, and a teasing warning not to go anywhere, she closed the door again, and once more left me in isolation while she was off to do her make-up.

I drifted into sleep for perhaps a few seconds or few minutes, but peeked into consciousness again just long enough to have brief remembrances of scenes when I dozed off while my Goddess had left me in a hogtie for an extended period of time. Again taken back to one of those falling asleep while bound and disoriented in subspace moments. I can't describe it. Some of those overwhelmingly powerful feelings and emotions that make such an impact on us that we try to recapture, re-experience, re-feel, re-live them again and again.

The discomfort passed. I fell asleep for good. I was woken up only several hours later by my alarm. Neither one of us had moved.

Artwork courtesy of Famio and the Museum of Female Domination Art

Interview (E)

I was recently interviewed by Meeshee of Meeshee Photography, Geisha Diaries, and Geisha Affair.

It was a pleasure doing the interview with her, and she was very pleasant in the post-interview process of putting everything together. She definitely had an interesting set of questions for me, primarily oriented toward introducing a non-BDSM audience to the lifestyle.

You can read the interview here. Hope you enjoy it!

All over the place (E)

Image courtesy of Loves to Lick via Dishevelled Domina

This quiet morning of staying at home after several weeks of work without a day off is leaving me in a rather unusual kind of mood. My body is enjoying the change of gear and the knowledge that the day will be without hugely pressing issues to attend to and resolve, yet my mind is still racing, with thoughts and mental images all over the place.

I woke up first, and I am still the only one up, in the calm of the early morning, looking forward to spending a delightful and much needed day with my Goddess. Behind the apparent stillness of waiting for a second dawn to break, I am full of anticipation for the rising of my Goddess, a morning at her feet, our “Coffee & Clamps!” ritual, and spending the entire day at her side, doing whatever she’s in the mood for.

Since getting up, I’ve also had this deep, visceral yearning for her to hurt me, in a BSDM/different loving and attention kind of way (wink to Gloria Brame). Being so busy over the last several weeks has given us little time for much more than our rituals. These have been as wonderful and as deeply felt as ever before, continuing to reinforce our D/s relational dynamics, and providing a sense of center in the two of us, our love, and our bond. But I haven’t offered much of an outlet to my Goddess for her affection and her dominance.

Our course, this can change quickly with us, and I know my Goddess has been excitedly waiting for this first day I am completely hers is quite a while.

And true to my present erratic and overdriven mental state, let me share some a number of random and memorable Twitter finds of the past few weeks.

Stunning Twitter images:

From @MayaSinstress. Her website can be found here.


From @MistressKatyaNY. Her website can be found here.

Favorite Twitter quotes:
“Sometimes I read things that others have written and am inspired and jealous, both in equal measure. I love that.” From @Ferns_. Her blog can be found here.

"It's the submissives that show to others what type of Dom owns them." ~ Anonymous.
From @AllThingsKink. Their website can be found here.

Stunning Twitter fetish video: from @GoddessSativa. Her website can be found here.
Bootlovers.com #72: Goddess Sativa in her custom purple crotch high boots!

Articles found through Twitter I enjoyed:

Found through @subguide: The Collar... BDSM Symbolism and Personal Meaning

Found through @subguide: The Importance of Journaling Your Submission

Found through @subguide: Slave Positions

Found through @DirkHooper: Her Pet Speaks

Found through @DirkHooper: BDSM: It’s less transgressive than you think

And not necessarily related to Twitter, I added three new blogs (I so have to clean up the inactive links!):
1- From Beneath the Rose
2- Hard Loving
3- A Goddess and her Boi Toy

Humor in D/s and BDSM (E)

On New Year's Eve Day, after a few hours of "Coffee & Clamps!", my Goddess was in the mood to enjoy a brief caning at my expense. This was also an opportunity to bring out once more our "Holiday Cane." This is a hard red-and-white, twisted plastic cane, about 28" long, that we had gotten a few years ago, and that typically sees a fair amount of action over the holiday season.

My Goddess ordered me into a corner of the living room. I was already at her feet at that time, so I simply crawled over on all-fours as she pushed me over firmly with one of her knees. Once in the corner, I opened a cabinet where the canes are kept, and handed her the cane she requested, the Holiday Cane.

I presented myself to her in her favorite caning position, on my knees and elbows. She began by rubbing the cane over both sides of my backside, as something of a mental warm-up. And once the rubbing stopped, and the cane left my skin, the caning began.

She began with a few relatively mild strokes, despite the rigidity of the cane, but by the time I counted six, the strokes were coming in quite heavily. By the way, yes, I do count the strokes because during our caning play, sooner or later, my Goddess will ask me for a count. And if the number I give her feels inaccurate to her, well, let's just say that I'll be in big trouble...

And then stroke #7 came down. Heavy. #8. Heavier... that one had that reverberating-through-my-body feel to it. And then #9. CRACK! Even heavier than #8, with a burning sensation, but in the teeth-grinding-eyes-tightly-shut moment of the body reverberations, there was the realization of what had just happened. The cane was broken. We both heard the cracking sound, and the sound of the runaway 4-5" piece sliding on across the wood floor. We both started laughing, my Goddess quite heartily, me through the still heated sensations that had extended through my body beyond my backside.

Once we recovered a bit of decorum, my Goddess clearly was not done with me, and resumed. A bit more tentatively at first, getting a measure of what she had to work with. And then, as she ramped up the intensity, it happened again on stroke #14. The reverberating sensation from the point of impact, and... the cracking sound of the cane breaking once more, this time a 1.5-2" piece of the cane going off sliding across the floor. My Goddess had such a good laugh... joyful, defiantly evil, and dominantly satisfied. I also could not resist laughing, even if it was through the increasingly thick veil of subspace.

14 strokes was too short of a caning for my Goddess, though, and she continued until she reached 20. The rest of the cane held together. Once she was done, in her enthusiasm, I wasn't off my knees yet that my Goddess grabbed her phone and tweeted: "I just broke my candy cane on @SelenasDymion in 20 swats. I'll miss that festive little weapon, but I rock!"

Humor can be such an important and joyous part of BDSM play and a D/s relationship. Whether it's laughter during play itself or around a predicament, there's a magic about it in the eyes of my Goddess. And for me, it just intensifies the emotions, the sensations, and the subspace. The humor can be the result of a deliciously embarrassing situation, a physical or emotional response or moment that is wonderful and new, or just a totally quirky and unexpected event or moment, such as what happened to us just then.

Now, I have 10 months to find my Goddess another cane suitable for the holidays...

Image courtesy of www.young-goddess.com via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

The Eternity Collar: one year anniversary (E)

"Dymion's Eternity Collar" by Goddess Selena

Last Friday 3 days ago marked one year since my Goddess placed an Eternity Collar around my neck. I had wasted no time putting down our first impressions of the Eternity Collar in the original post the very day it arrived and my Goddess put it on me. Back then I had written:

"The Eternity Collar really is a superb piece. Making its presence felt around my neck by its weight and its rigidity, it perfectly symbolizes my attachment and my belonging to my Goddess, her ownership of me, and the strength of the ties that bind us. It certainly makes very tangible the expression "owned and collared"."

In a post six weeks after my Goddess first re-collared me with the Eternity Collar, I went on:

"Its heft and rigidity are constant reminders to me of what it represents: my submission to my Goddess, her ownership of me, my status as her toy, her pet, her boy.

...Its presence, and the thought that I cannot remove it on my own without a very significant amount of trouble, are constant reminders to my Goddess of her dominance and control over me, and of my belonging to her. I am hers...

... There is so much about of the eternity collar that I love. I love it when my Goddess grabs a hold of the eternity collar to pull me in for a kiss, to tell me something dominant or dirty, or to simply remind me of who holds the reins. I love it when we make love, and the D-ring of the locked leather collar my Goddess put on me in the early evening dings loudly against the eternity collar. I love it when my Goddess catches a glimpse of the eternity collar, and she flashes one of her dominant "I own you, Bitch!" smiles. I love it when I'm apart from my Goddess for a short while, and I feel the eternity collar around my neck, and I bring a hand to it, and feel its strength and its size and its warmth. And I feel the texture of the hinge or the edges where the allen screw keeps it locked around my neck.

And most of all, I love it that my Goddess feels so strongly about our relationship, and the nature/dynamics of our relationship, that she wanted to have as imposing a piece as the eternity collar placed around my neck, in all that it is, and in all that it represents."

A year after my Goddess affixed the Eternity Collar around my neck those words stand bigger, truer, and more vivid than ever. And the Eternity Collar it has remained in place, without interruptions, 24/7/365. It took a little getting used to, both physically and in terms of self-awareness. But now, it is part of me. Part of my body, part of my soul. And that is so very special to me because of the link to my Goddess. The Eternity Collar is there because she wants it so. The symbolism of our original collaring ceremony many years ago, the re-collaring with the Eternity Collar, the permanence of collar, all have been such powerful moments defining our love and our D/s relational dynamics.

My Goddess keeps playfully reminding me that she has no idea where the Allen keys to remove it might be. In fact, after 368 days of continuous wear, through workouts, showers, and just daily activities, who knows if it would come off with the Allen key by now. But it doesn't really matter. She has absolutely no intention of ever taking it off. I can only wonder what moments will come when sooner or later I encounter metal detectors at airports, or buildings that have them as a security measure. There have already been rather memorable moments with a much less imposing piece before (posted here). But I know they will only add to my Goddess' pleasure and her empowerment.
But I am so proud to be wearing the Eternity Collar my Goddess chose for me. I am so proud that she felt so strongly about my belonging to her, of her ownership of me, that she wanted such an imposing and definitive sign for us, and for the world to see if necessary. And for that, I am also so thankful.

"Dymion's Home Collars" by Goddess Selena

Twitter highlights: people, pics, and clips (E)

Image from the Dirk Hooper Tumblr site

My exploration of Twitter over the past few months has brought me to some fascinating places in terms of people and media. In particular, it's been interesting to see where Twitterscape and the blogosphere intersect, and where they don't. With no pretention of comprehensiveness or anything else than personal opinion, here are a few my favorite people, pics, and clips I wanted to share:

Favorite Tweeter: Dirk Hooper (@dirkhooper)
Website: Dirk Hooper Photography
Blog
Tumblr

A prolific tweeter and networker, Dirk seems like a very nice guy, easy and pleasant to communicate with. Some of his photography is quite stunning, and I'm particularly taken by the emotions of the moment he manages to capture in many of his pictures. His work is not strictly femdom, but even some of the non-femdom stuff is eye-catching. His blog's Fetishweek feature has been a cool read.

Favorite Fetish Tweeter: Teri Horne (@BootLadyTeri23)
Blog: Booted up

Teri also has a website, but I've been mainly taken aback by her many daily tweets on boot fashion or celebrities in boots. Absolutely superb. If you have a thing for boots, you have to check her blog regularly. Teri also tweets on glove fashion (she has a blog for that too).

Favorite Video from a tweet: Cigarette service
Website: Vinyl Queen
Tumblr: Worship Me

I never knew the legendary Vinyl Queen kept a Tumblr site. But I found out about it when she tweeted about a new post she put up back in October. A short but beautiful scene, where she is playful and yet totally in control. Absolutely unforgettable. And an intense flashback to some similar play between my Goddess and I.


Image from the Vinyl Queen Tumblr site