The secret is... enthusiasm (E)

A Little Light Bondage by Sorceress2000, via Lunar Black

Enthusiasm expresses wants and needs, and wants and needs impose will. Enthusiasm is the collection of many little daily gestures and words that expresses my Goddess' dominance, and her enjoyment of our D/s relational dynamics. And the fun she has playing with her toy... me.

Enthusiasm is my Goddess...

...giving me a harsh look and barking "Where's your collar, Bitch!" if I take any undue time to offer her the locking collar upon my arrival home each day. It happens very seldom... but when it does...

...pointing at her feet, where she wants me to sit, when she is ready to smoke and wants me to hold the ashtray for her;

...telling me what she wants or what she needs, and it is absolutely clear in the tone of her voice, that she is expecting, without a shadow of a doubt, that I will do it for her or get it for her;

...taking hold of my hair or my collar, pulling me in close to her, exhaling her cigarette smoke in my mouth;

...suddenly grabbing me by the hair while I'm sitting at her feet on the floor, and walking me over to the other end of the living room, leaving me on all fours, and serving up 24 strokes with the paddle, followed by 24 strokes with the cane;

...deciding that I will serve as furniture, and putting her legs up on my shoulders when I am at her feet on the floor, or telling me I must sleep at a 90 degree angle to her so that she can lay her legs up over my torso to sleep more comfortably, or ordering me to sit behind her so she can recline against me while we watch TV;

...bursting out "I really want to hurt you!" during lovemaking, and she brings me to a thunderous orgasm as I simultaneously whimper from the nipple torture;

...finalizing plans to bring me out to have a tattoo identifying me as her property;

...telling me "You're getting tied up tonight!" and after binding my wrists to the headboard of the bed, leaving me bound until the time the morning alarm goes off;

...sitting on my stomach while I am bound, and marking my chest with dominantly possessive drawings and notes with different colored Sharpies, which will remain visible for 3-5 days.

Enthusiasm is... the secret to the magic of D/s. At least for us it is.

Iconic picture of Prodomme Mistress Juliet Taylor (who seems to have retired), found on Women with Whips

The invisible leash (E)

Mistress & Slave, fine art print by Brian Gibbs (RedBubble), found originally on Lunar Black

Recent changes to my professional life, and a related huge increase in commuting distance, has led to very long work days for me. I don't have any issues whatsoever with the work commitment... a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. But I am saddened by having less time to spend with my Goddess. Not only actual physical time, but prime quality time. When I get home 12-13 hours after having left for work, I'm afraid that my energy level may not be all that it could be. Certainly not every single day. But that’s something I’m aware of, and during the commute back, I’ll mentally prepare to be the very best I can for my Goddess. And I’ll strive to catch up and exceed her expectations on my days off.

That being said, my biggest worries are actually elsewhere. Two of the greatest threats to any relationship, vanilla or D/s, are what I call the two Ds: disconnection and doubt. Lack of prime quality I’m-so-into-you-and-I-can’t-be-without-you-for-a-single-second time, over days, and weeks, and months, can take its toll. It creates gaps in each other’s live. It leaves needs that inevitably get filled in other ways, sometimes even by other people.

In addition, extended periods away from those we love also create a creeping sense of doubt. Where are they? What are they doing? Who are they with? Do they really have to be there? Can they really not be here with me? While good communications, and a commitment to openness and transparency, can help tremendously in minimizing this creeping feeling of doubt, and the threat it represents to trust, it remains that relationship trust is a fine crystal wine glass that once cracked, or chipped, will never, ever be the same.

So will that in mind, a little over a week ago, I offered to my Goddess the use of a smart phone tracking app… that would allow her to track my locations and movements at all times. Whether the app is running in the background of my smart phone, or my Goddess pings me for confirmation of my location and status, or I provide regular status updates, she will know where I am, and what I’m likely to be doing, at all times that cell phone signal is available.

My Goddess has received my offer with much enthusiasm, and the introduction of this “Invisible Leash” into our lives has been very successful up to now, although I think that she will be experimenting with a number of other apps to see which one will give her the level of control she desires.

Her frequent checks on my location and status, and my regular updates of the same, have kept us discreetly in close touch throughout the course of each day. Each ping, each check, each update, is a reminder of our caring for each other, of our love of each other, and a reinforcement of our D/s relational dynamics.

The quasi-constant contact is likely reassuring and comforting for my Goddess. It is reassuring for me too, since I feel that we remain ever-present in each other’s mind. In fact, a few times after responding to her checking in requests, I reached up to the Eternity Collar permanently fixed around my neck, touched the ungiving stainless steel, and enjoyed the warm feeling of remembrance of my belonging to my Goddess.

My hope is that the “Invisible Leash” will help maintain our incredible sense of connection, and stave off, if not eliminate, the creeping feelings of doubt that increasingly come up as relationships age. And besides, it’s so hot when my Goddess is in a controlling mood…

The leash, and other sacred rituals (E)

The Red Boots, by Silver Jane, via Lunar Black

In these difficult economic times for us, I haven't given my Goddess a lot of time or many opportunities for her to express her domination. She has been so patient with my very long days and weeks at work, so generous with her unconditional support, and so wonderful in making the most of our few moments together.

That said, there are a number of our sacred rituals that are part of our lives that are as constant as the rising and setting cycle of the sun every day, and I am so grateful to my Goddess for keeping these going, and for her continued enjoyment of them, always maintaining a certain level of positive tension in our D/s dynamics.

Recently, my Goddess asked me to re-install the long "house leash" to the bed. The first thing I did the next morning was to clip one end of the 50' leash to the foot of the bed, and clip the other end to my locked leather collar. Upon her waking up later that morning, she found the leash, and pulled me in to her, wherever I was in our home, so I could begin my day of service to her.

Speaking of the locked leather collar, it is still one of my most cherished pleasures that every night, upon my return home, as surely as the tides move in and out twice a day, the D/s dynamics of our relationship are celebrated as I kneel before my Goddess, offering her my locking leather collar. She places it around my neck and locks it in place, where it remains until I need to shower before leaving for work the next morning. It means so much to me that she feels as strongly about this symbolic display domination and submission, owning and belonging, as I do.

When I'm still home at the time my Goddess wakes up in the morning, I have unerringly taken the opportunity for our favorite morning ritual. I'll prepare her one of her favorite coffees, bring it to her side, kneel before her as I lay it on the table, light her cigarette, and hold the ashtray up for her. If we still have a little time, I will take take each of her feet, and cover them with hundreds of little tender kisses.

When time allows in the morning, I make an additional offering of presenting myself to her at wake-up time with nipple clamps or nipples rings on, wearing little else than those, my locked leather collar, my ever-present eternity collar, and some underwear or sleeping shorts. She delights in my willingness to suffer for her, and she can never resist the temptation of reaching out to tug on the nipple clamps or rings to tease me and elicit gentle moans for me that she so enjoys.

I make it a point of doing some domestic duties such as cleaning, washing dishes, and straightening out the house before she gets up, although it is never quite enough, and I must schedule my time better to keep our humble castle in better shape for my Goddess.

Often in the evening, in addition to the locking leather collar, my Goddess will enjoy placing locking leather wrist cuffs and ankle cuffs on me, whether there is any play to follow or not. It's just an ownership thing, and she knows how much I love to honor by having many tangible, symbolic signs of my belonging to her.

While the locking leather items may not go on if we are having friends or family over, I do try to fulfill my Goddess' expectations of being the serving host, and this subtle part of our relationship dynamics, is especially exciting as it goes relatively unnoticed by our visitors.

Of course, variations are numerous, and play may or may not follow our rituals. However, these rituals are the foundations that keep our love and D/s dynamics strong, constant, unshakable, and full of positive tension that keep us both in a state of always wanting to get back to each other, always wanting to be with each other, and always wanting to do more with/for each other.

Instead of being restraining, our rituals are means for liberation, and they reinforce our love and commitment to each other. To paraphrase Amy Gregory from an article I read a long time ago, rituals resonate within us, they comfort us, and what they communicate to us is even more important than actually performing them. Rituals may be intimidating to some, but they don't have to be big events. They are about connecting, they about celebration, and I think that my Goddess and I will continue to find solace in them.

Image courtesy of Miss and pet

6 weeks of the Eternity Collar (E)

Image courtesy of http://m-gameboy2.tumblr.com/

It's been almost six weeks since my Goddess has placed the Eternity Collar around my neck, and screwed it closed. And its impact has been all we could have asked for.

Its heft and rigidity are constant reminders to me of what it represents: my submission to my Goddess, her ownership of me, my status as her toy, her pet, her boy.

Its presence, and the thought that I cannot remove it on my own without a very significant amount of trouble, are constant reminders to my Goddess of her dominance and control over me, and of my belonging to her. I am hers.

While there was a bit of self-consciousness on my part at the beginning, despite the pride of wearing it for my Goddess, that's totally gone now, and I don't mind in the least who sees it. The powerful symbolism and the physical reminder of our D/s dynamics are all that remain.

While the eternity collar in black (Phantom Line) is a classic piece that blends in fairly well with casual clothing and goes unnoticed under more business/formal attire, it is more much difficult to miss when if I leave the neck of a shirt unbuttoned, or if I wear something with a lower neckline (T-shirt, anything with a crew neck).

In a funny anecdote, I was getting my haircut recently at a barber shop, and the lady cutting my hair needed to trim the hair on the back of my neck. She took hold of the eternity collar to move it out of the way, and said, "Oh my God! That thing weighs a ton!" She did ask where I got it. I simply replied that it was a gift from my beloved, and it was a symbol of the strength of our love and relationship...

Interestingly, nobody else has said anything else about the eternity collar.

There is so much about of the eternity collar that I love. I love it when my Goddess grabs a hold of the eternity collar to pull me in for a kiss, to tell me something dominant or dirty, or to simply remind me of who holds the reins. I love it when we make love, and the D-ring of the locked leather collar my Goddess put on me in the early evening dings loudly against the eternity collar. I love it when my Goddess catches a glimpse of the eternity collar, and she flashes one of her dominant "I own you, Bitch!" smiles. I love it when I'm apart from my Goddess for a short while, and I feel the eternity collar around my neck, and I bring a hand to it, and feel its strength and its size and its warmth. And I feel the texture of the hinge or the edges where the allen screw keeps it locked around my neck.

And most of all, I love it that my Goddess feels so strongly about our relationship, and the nature/dynamics of our relationship, that she wanted to have as imposing a piece as the eternity collar placed around my neck, in all that it is, and in all that it represents.


Image courtesy of www.meninpain.com via Miz Helena

Game night (E)

Image courtesy of Herrin Domino and Piotrushka (tumblr site not active anymore)

A little quiet time presented itself to us this weekend, and my Goddess was in the mood for some trivia. But as some of you might recall from much earlier posts, playing table games in our household tends to be significantly, hmmm, interesting, than what most people have in mind when they pull out the game board and place the pieces...

My Goddess and I enjoyed a wonderfully romantic dinner out, and did a little shopping before coming back home. During that time out, I had on locking leather ankle cuffs, a little tangible reminder of my Goddess' control and ownership of me. Upon returning home, I removed my clothes, and she added the locking the leather collar and locking leather wrist cuffs, she clipped the ankle cuffs together, and finally she clipped the wrist cuffs together.

As usual in this setup, it was challenging for me to get on and off our relatively high bed, and run for errands, and my Goddess always enjoys every second of watching me struggle moving around when I'm in bondage.

I managed to find a stable position on the bed, cross-legged, and we setup the game board, pieces, and cards. In addition to the traditional challenge of the game, my Goddess' rules were that if I missed a question, I would get four strokes of the cane for each point it was worth. For the normal course of this particular game, I could be in line for 120 strokes or more if the game went badly for me.

We picked our tiles for the first round, and each ordered them in order of our preference (from hardest/least comfortable field of knowledge = 1 point, to easiest/most comfortable field of knowledge = 4 points). She was up first (of course... she's the Goddess), and correctly answered her question. Then it was my turn... and I didn't know the answer... Crap...

I awkwardly made my way to the edge of the bed, swung my legs over the edge, and leaned over until my feet reached the floor. I hobbled to the end of the bed, where I leaned onto my hands and stuck my backside out to present a nice easy target for my Goddess. That question was worth 1 point, so I got 4 strokes. Not that many to start, but she made sure they counted...

I struggled back onto the bed, and the game continued. I got the next three questions to move into the lead (saving myself 36 strokes), and on the next round, I missed the 1-point question again. Off the bed, another 4 strokes. Next question, worth 2 points. I had no idea. Off the bed, another 8 strokes. I correctly answered the next two questions to maintain my lead (and saving myself 28 strokes).

In the third round, I missed the first question once more. So again, off the bed, and another 4 strokes. I correctly answered the next two questions, allowing me to complete going around the board and win the game, saving me any more strokes. Of course, my Goddess was disappointed, and to a certain extent, so was I, although I'm not sure if she was more disappointed at coming in a close second, or at the fact that the caning was done for now. It is worth noting, however, that in the past, the end of the game has never meant that she couldn't decide that I needed more caning...

She was, in fact, in the mood to hurt me a little more, and after we finished putting the game away, I stretched out on my belly, up to my elbows, as we chatted, and then she decided to climb onto my back for some scratching, some biting, and reaching underneath with her hands for some heavy NT over the course of about 10 minutes. As usual, my moans and squirmy movements excited her immensely, as she sat on my lower back, leaned over me, and had fun hurting me.

For some, it may beg the question, why did I not let her win? Simply, she expects me to do my best. We are both very good at trivia, and she would not at all appreciate me throwing the game, either to get more strokes or for her ego. Those are games we don't play. Nor do I ever intentionally mess up in my service to her in order to get "punishment". There's something dishonest about those kinds of mind games. Disappointing her, or incurring her wrath, would be terribly shameful for me, and not in the least something I would aim to get some pleasure from. In addition, my Goddess is way too smart not to see this kind of manipulation from a mile away.

Playful moments reinforcing the D/s dynamics of our relationship... under conditions of control (bondage, special rules) dictated by her mood... and her enjoyment of her power over me by subjecting me to sensation/impact play (caning, NT) that allowed her to physically express her dominance over my body and my mind... What a wonderful way it was to wrap-up the weekend!

Image courtesy of Eagerlicker via Dishevelled Domina

Our Solace Returns: why this is good (E)

"Suspension Love", by Ladenadenoire, via Lunar Black.

Following up on my Goddess' post, here are a few of the things that I'm looking forward to once we regain our privacy:

1. A return to the full compliment of daily rituals.
2. No more limits on my Goddess' expression of her dominance: more opportunities for impromtu bondage and BDSM and servitude.
3. My Goddess will be placing the locking leather collar much earlier each evening.
4. No more worries about noise caused by paddles, canes, or me (which will likely significantly increase the frequency of these activities).
5. Watching my Goddess' favorite TV shows while she keeps me in bondage; sexual servitude may be required at any time.
6. Spending more time leashed to my Goddess' side.
7. More nights sleeping in bondage next to my Goddess.
8. Playing my Goddess' favorite board games while she keeps me in bondage.
9. No more worries about prep, noise, or clean-up during strap-on play (which will likely significantly increase the frequency of this activity).
10. A large closet that can serve as a make-shift mini-dungeon.

The anticipation has been rising for a while now. In both of us.

Of collars and bondage, and ownership and belonging (E)

"Dominate Your Man Today" by Horus-Goddess

Over the weekend, 36 uninterrupted hours of wearing the locked leather collar... around the home, and on two errands outside the home. I intoxincatingly belonged to my Goddess...

An evening with my wrists and ankles bound, entertaining my Goddess... playing board games, watching television, doing whatever little thing she required of me. And after all the time we've been together, My Goddess' mischevious smile and her sense of enjoyment watching me hobble around the house has never diminished...

I spent overnight sleeping in bondage next to my Goddess... Limited in my movements, which inevitably kept me in various positions of contact with her. Couldn't get away... Didn't want to get away...

This morning, my Goddess removed my leather collar and the four locked cuffs before leaving for work, she told me she expected the house to be straightened out and significantly neater when she returned. Nothing makes cleaning up around the house as enjoyable as when my Goddess is expecting it, and will notice it.

As a side note, the arrival of the cooler weather is delightfully promising of more frequent, but discreet, outdoors kinky play. Jackets, fleeces, and sweaters are great to hide the locked leather collar during daytime errands or excursions with my Goddess; occasionally, the locked wrist cuffs may also be on. The return of long pants will have my Goddess locking ankle cuffs before I leave for work.

The warmth under the leather. The texture and the firmness of the leather. The ungiving of the secure locks. The restraints of the clips and ties. Sensuality... exchange of power... dominance and submission... vulnerability and trust... control, and surrender... belonging and ownership... Each from our particular position, we so enjoy these little moments full of symbolism and excitement.

Stream of consciousness (E)

Image courtesy of http://malesubmissionart.com/

Just so incredibly busy... far too much time away from the One that means everything to me...

Tension building up... fed by the lack of each other's physical presence... of each other's affection... of each other's wit and humor... of opportunities for our D/s dynamics...

Finally... a day spent together... and yet, we were never alone enough... places to go, things to do, people to be with...

The late night came... finally just the two of us...

She smelled so good... felt so soft... tasted so good... sounded so hot...

She needed more... more of me... to feel... to hurt... to own...

It was all too brief... but so totally stellar-intense...

The freedom not to be free (E)

"I'll keep you", from http://mangademon333.deviantart.com

"... I don't know how these guys do it, and how these women let them do it. I know where he [Endymion] is all the time, and what he's doing."

I overheard this comment from my Goddess to someone very close to us as they caught part of a television show that dealt with cheating.

I thought that was hot. I loved hearing her say that. It was a powerful reminder of our bond of love, our enjoyment of each other's company, our D/s relationship, and of our lifestyle.

I don't have the least interest in being away from my Goddess for any reason. Every moment is happier, more intense, funnier, richer, more enjoyable, and more interesting for sharing it with her. I certainly have no interest in straying... why would I risk what I'd be hoping for all my life? I am deeply in love with her, and uncurably addicted to her. Any time spent doing something without her, never mind time with another woman, would be time away from my Goddess, and that's simply not a good trade-off. It would be a waste of opportunity. The opportunity to spend more time with her.

In addition, between my mainstream collar, which cannot be removed and has clear symbolism once made visible, and the locked ankle cuffs that I am often asked to wear under long pants, there are physical and visual barriers that would take the air out of any attempted adventurous interlude.

I love being hers. I love even more that she loves that I am hers. The control she has over where I am and what I'm doing at anytime is an implicit part of our D/s dynamics, and reinforces them. It isn't done in distrust, but it makes trust implicit and almost 100% verifiable for her, and I see it has a sign of how much she cares. The loss of freedom is insignificant and forgotten in contrast to the gain of sharing and happiness.

Where some might see loss, limits, and constraints, I see the reaching of a dream, two people that can't be away from each other, and an intense flow of feelings of owning and belonging. Now that I am where I've wanted to be all my life, why would I be upset at not having the luxury of leaving it?

The prospect to exploring further and deeper with my Goddess, hand-in-hand on our common journey, is immensely more appealing me than any scenario that would not include her. And that's why not only do I not mind the situation, I think it's really hot.

Collar and cuffs (E)

Artwork courtesy of http:/lunarblack.tumblr.com; artist unknown.

The nightly collaring ritual is always so special to us. I had a few posts (here and here) on this subject over the last few weeks.

Every few days or few weeks, though, my Goddess needs more. Tonight was one of those times. She requested that I bring her the locking leather wrist cuffs after she placed the locking leather collar around my neck.

She didn't order me to get them in a haughty and bitchy and condescending manner. She wasn't planning to immobilize me for some pain and torture. She wasn't looking forward to enjoy watching me struggle in bondage overnight.

No, she just told me she needed them. She told me that she wanted me locked into them so that she could keep me nearby. Keep me close. Keep me from going away.

I felt, and I knew, that apart from the actual light bondage keeping me near her, there was a need for her to demonstrate her ownership of me, both for her and for me. The symbolism far outweighed the actions. There was something soft about the control she exerted, something tender about the power she exercised.

And it was just as dominant on her part as locking the cuffs around my wrists for any other reason. It reinforced the D/s dynamics of our relationship just as much. Not through severity or strictness or force. But rather, through subtlety, nuance, and range.

Blogging about our D/s relationship (E)

Artwork courtesy of Lunar Black

One of the many joys my Goddess and I share is this blog. The fact that we both write entries. The fact that we get really excited when we know the other is writing and about to post an entry. The fact that we can't wait to read what the other has written.

Part of that joy is the simple fact that we share in the duties and rewards of running a blog that has a pretty loyal readership. Another part of it is the opportunity to read thoughts, perspectives, and impressions of the other in ways that are different from what we get when we talk. There is something about the monologue of the blog that sometimes structures what we have to say in a more organized manner. Yet another part is an opportunity to express words that might be awkward to say verbally, but once they're out, they help us explore and push into new areas..

While I write more entries than my Goddess, our excitement over everything related to our blog is shared equally. I think this excitement over what we each put in here is a good reflection of our relationship... open, sharing, exploring, warm, exciting, trusting.

Not to say anything bad about the relationships that others are involved in, but I'm always saddened when I read that one of the partners is writing a blog, and their partner either doesn't read the blog, or doesn't know it exists. His' and her's blogs are very cool. But for those for whom blog writing is an unwillingly solo exercise within a relationship, I can only think of what is missed by the absent partner. What a missed opportunity to get into the head of their loved one! What a missed opportunity to have a better understanding of how their partner feels, and what makes them tick! Especially since some of the bloggers out there are good writers that show depth, insight, and understanding.

I know, I know... there are lots of flakes out there. But for those, it doesn't take too long before the BS comes to the surface.

Again, no disrespect intented. There are some couples out there that clearly have something really special going on. It's evident by the way their partner writes about them, the amount of time they've been together, and/or the fact that they seem to have a good family thing going on. But there's often an element of bittersweetness, or perhaps melancholy, that is apparent in reading some of those one-partner blogs.

My point today is that I enjoy and appreciate tremendously my Goddess and I sharing this blog. It is one more element that makes our dynamics so special, and I hope it reflects those special dynamics. It also reinforces those dynamics as the exercise of writing some of our rituals, routines, and interactions has formalized them.

I enjoy the duties of the blog. I enjoy the feedback we get. I especially enjoy my Goddess' involvement in it, and her excitement over everything I write. And for us, I couldn't possibly imagine us doing it any other way.

Morning-after foot worship (E)

Artwork courtesy of http://bendoverloverboy.tumblr.com/

I was trying to take small, slow steps preparing my Goddess' coffee so that I wouldn't wake her up. And also because small, slow steps take less of a toll on my skin when I'm wearing locked ankle cuffs that are clipped together with a 4-inch clip.

After a very memorable evening, and some even more memorable play, my Goddess left the clipped and locked ankle cuffs on me, as well as the locked wrist cuffs, when we went to sleep. Of course, the usual locked collar had been around my neck for hours already, and I don't think there will ever be a night that she'll Iet me go to sleep without it.

The minutes passed, and it was getting close to the time to wake up my Goddess. I wanted to make sure that everything was ready for her. When the time came, I gently woke her up from the side of the bed, kneeling on the floor, and then after she sat up against the pillows, I handed her the cup of coffee. A sip or two of coffee later, I lit her cigarette and gave it to her as I sat on the floor, making sure her ashtray was conveniently within her reach.

We chatted about the fantastic twelve hours we had just shared, looking back on it with enthusiasm and fondness. About 10 minutes later, my Goddess requested a refill of her coffee, and after slowly going over to get it and bringing it back to her (my ankles were still bound), I sat back down on the ground at her side, lit another cigarette for her, and we talked to more.

When my Goddess was done smoking, I came up on my knees, reached over the side of the bed, and I found her left foot, which I began kissing. I kissed each one of her toes, from the big toe to the small one, and back again, moved on to the top of her foot with many little kisses before coming back to her toes for two more passes. And then I moved on to the other foot for the same.

I just love worshipping my Goddess' feet. And she seems to truly enjoy it when I do. But there was something special about doing it that morning. I don't know if I was still in subspace from the play just a few hours previous, if I just had not had the opportunity to relax and focus on her feet like that for a while, or if it was just a mood thing. But the more intensely I kissed and licked her feet and toes, the more I needed it to do. With each pass, I kissed them more deeply, more passionately. Each time I finished a foot, I decided I would do it one more time on the other. I lost count after doing each foot half-a-dozen times. And I needed to do more... longer... deeper... more intensely. I couldn't get away from her feet... from her.

But eventually, nature called, and my Goddess needed to go use the bathroom. I broke away from her feet as she sat on the edge of the bed before getting up. As she changed position, one leg caressed the side of my face, and I couldn't stop myself from bringing my lips to the soft skin of her inner thighs as she paused before standing up. The gentle kiss slowed her down for a moment, and I kissed her again in the same spot. My Goddess leaned back, and I couldn't resist kissing the tender flesh of her inner thigh, from the inside of her knee to just a bit shy of her sacred feminine. Infatuated, intoxicated, I couldn't get away, and clearly, she didn't want me to stop.

Within a few minutes though, she really needed to go, and I pulled away from her. After she returned from the bathroom, my Goddess stood nearby, teasingly, dominantly. I was compelled to go to her, and I crawled over to her on all fours. I quickly made my way to her, and she ran her fingers through my hair once I reached her. As she pulled her hand away after a playing with my hair for a while, I moved my head against her leg, feeling her lean back against me.

After rubbing her leg against me for a few seconds, my Goddess straddled my head, and then moved over my back. She sat on the small of my back, and soon after, leaned back, her back against mine. She adjusted her position a bit, and then hit one of my favorite positions ever, an incredibly sensual, erotic, and dominant position. She reclined with all her weight on me, again her back against my back, with one leg up, her neck over my head, her head and hair past my head. I did my best to balance her while I was under her on all fours, supporting her, carrying her, my Goddess, my dominant Queen. To add to the beauty of the pose, she dropped her arms behind her, past my ribs, and harshy pinched my nipples, challenging me not move so much she would fall off.

I wish a photographer had been there to capture the moment, the pose, the symbolism in the position, freezing in time a moment of power exchange capturing our sexual and relational dynamics so exquisitely. Alas, it will have to suffice that it will be one of those moments and rainbow of emotions etched in my soul forever.

But all this was the morning follow-up after a very special evening with my Goddess. How did we get here? What happened previously to lead to this peak? Next post, friends... next post...

Forced to watch... for her pleasure (E)

Artwork courtesy of

Flat Earth Social Club

"Dancing with the Stars" started its new season this week. Now this may have been exciting for some people, and left others indifferent. But it turned out to be important to me because it was important for my Goddess. She's a big fan of the show, you see... so that meant I was going to watch it, whether I wanted to or not. My Goddess was going to make sure of that...

Well before the first night, it was made clear to me that we were going to enjoy the show together. So when the big night arrived, my Goddess tied my hands, ordered me onto the bed as she pulled me up my leash and collar, had me lean back against pillows proped up next to the headboard, and used me as her recliner. She sat between my legs, leaned her naked back against my chest, and made herself comfortable on this improvised piece of furniture.

My bound hands were placed in front of her, creating a wonderfully natural hug. The warmth and softness of her body against me, the vulnerability of my immobilization, the weight of her upper body pressing on me, the aromatic fragrance of her hair right next to my face, my erection trapped against her occasionally shifting lower back, and her dictating how we were to spend the next two hours of the evening, all made for a very sensually submissive experience for me. Shortly before the end of the show, my Goddess fell asleep on me for a while, and that made for a short bout of subspace, as my position and my desire not to wake her put me in a completely helpess predicament.

Watching the second evening's show was very similar, apart from the fact that my Goddess left my hands unbound, which allowed me to caress her skin and play with her hair. And a little past the halfway part of the show, this gentle objectification had turned her on to the point that she wanted some sexual service, which I was quite happy to provide. From my position behind her, I caressred and teased her breasts with one hand, and I reached over to her most intimate parts with the other hand, and twice brought her to climax.

Today, my Goddess was not feeling well, so we did not engage in any play, and I had quiet evening of domestic servitude, but as I tucked her to sleep after the show, my Goddess still found the energy to remind me of something that is such an important part of our D/s dynamics, and that I never tire of hearing. As I pulled away from a gentle good night kiss, she grabbed the leash, pulled me close to her, looked me into the eyes, and gently whispered "mine, mine, mine, mine, mine..."

Available for hurt (E)

Picture courtesy of http://malesubmissionart.com/

I think that one of the most magical parts of the D/s dynamics of our relationship is the constant high level of energy that it engenders, and the continual ebb and flow of power that inspires those little spur-of-the-moment acts of domination. Being available for hurt at any time, anywhere, is just such an intoxicating feeling...

Sitting on the floor at my Goddess' feet watching a movie, she reaches over to torment my nipples or puts her hands around my throat to gently make my breathing a little more labored...

Driving the car, my Goddess reaches across to dig her nails into the inside of my thigh and squeezes...

Discussing with friends at a munch, my Goddess pulls my arm a bit toward her and runs her nails up and down the forearm, leaving visible grooves in the skin for a few minutes.

Gentle good night kisses turning into long passionate kisses turning into sexual service, with or without interludes of CBT and nipple play.

Lying on the bed on my belly watching television before going to sleep, my Goddess comes over to sit on my back, and from there she proceeds to torment and torture my nipples, deeply scratches my chest, and leaves bit marks on my back and shoulders.

Md-afternoon naps rarely don't have me bound completely for a variety of little hurts and sexual servitude.

In fact, with paddles, floggers, nipple clamps, strap-on dildo, ropes, blindfolds, gags, and bondage gear in the bedroom, in addition to everything we have in our playroom down the hall, I never know what may transpire from going back to the bedroom, even for just a few minutes.

I often don't catch the end of movies we watch as I end up bound and blinfolded to a chair, or in subspace from some other delighful torments I suffer at my Goddess' hands.

There are just so many moments and so many intense experiences... I just couldn't possibly list them all... But they are wonderful parts of our days, all the more delicious for being unplanned and unexpected.

Don't get me wrong... I just melt when I feel (or I'm told) that my Goddess is in the mood and there's an extended session coming up that may last several hours. Each and everyone of them are so intense, so memorable, so life-affirming. And the anticipation for them has never diminished in all the time we've been together. But in between those powerful play times, the unforeseen, the unexpected, the inspired out of nowhere moments that come up daily, and sometimes several times a day, are an integral part of the magic of our dynamics, and they keep the energy level so high all the time.

Anytime... anywhere... in what ever manner she desires... I so love being available for hurt for my Goddess...