"... when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
-- When Harry met Sally

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
-- Carl Jung

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

My precious, precious Goddess (E)

Artwork courtesy of Flat Earth Social Club

So much of what makes a relationship work is fit. Of course, even when you do have a great fit between the partners, you still have to be patient and work at it. Real life creates emotions that will get each person out of sync with the other. Likes and dislikes can never be absolutely identical. Nobody has ESP and can read another person's mind. Everybody has "baggage".

While living a D/s relationship implies submission of one partner's will and desires, and the dominance of the other person's, it remains that the reality of it requires that "wants and needs" need to fit into a range of compatibility flexible enough to allow each person's ability of understanding, insights, patience, skills, and compassion to match up well enough to give the "work" part of the relationship a reasonable chance of success.

Things as such moods and emotions, likes and dislikes, habits, communications skills, frequency, intensity, areas of activity, and the willingness to explore, on the side of each partner, all need to be close enough for the "work" part to be manageable. Without out that, the struggle to make things work, to develop a relationship that will grow and be fulfilling over the long term can be stressful, overwhelming, and may be doomed to failure. And this is why my Goddess is so absolutely precious to me.

After the life experience I have had, after the relationships I have had, after the many, many years of involvement in BDSM I have had, I cannot describe the joy I have every single minute of the day for having my Goddess in my life, and being part of her's.

Sure, there are little things I might like more of, or less of. More of these things are related to real life matters than to our interaction. But it remains that the compatibility is so great, so magnificent, that I find the relationship itself beautifully effortless. The hardest part for us is not being able to be together every single second of the day.

Whatever difference we have in moods and emotions, likes and dislikes, habits, communications skills, frequency, intensity, areas of activity, and explore are so slight, so minor, that they overcoming them is never an issue. They just fit so comfortably within who we are.
It is so easy, and so fulfilling, to live our D/s relationship within this "fit" and within our individual abilities to accommodate each other.

Rituals without rules. Love without doubt. Trust without questions. Service without thought. Self-expression without shame. Exploration without boundaries. Fulfillment without any needs outside the other.

Words are inadequate to describe how my Goddess makes me feel. I could not possibly have scripted the perfection of my Goddess and our relationship in my wildest dreams before having met her. Never has anybody meant so much to me as a friend, as a lover, as a mistress, as a life-partner, and as a soulmate. And I can't imagine anyone more perfect, for me, than my Goddess.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Dymion:

    I am very happy for you! :-) What you say here is very true. Every loving relationship requires work but interests have to be compatible enough that the work part doesn't become Don Quixote jousting at windmills. The trick is to keep it going over a period of years, then decades. Her Majesty and I had exactly the kind of compatibility you describe here when we were dating and during the first few years of our marriage. Then "real life" had it's way with us. Jobs, stress, child birth, home ownership, moving, careers, internal and external changes and menopause all wreaked havoc on us. At one point it was touch and go. She lost interest. I became angry and frustrated. It took me seeing a pro and her realizing I was fading into oblivion before she put two and two together. She had to realize that the adoration and devotion I gave to her was not something she could take foregranted. I had to realize that an authentic Mistress/sub connection is something no amount of money can ever buy. We have both made compromises to get to where we are today. But 23 years in I can honestly say I am happier than ever and the foundation of our relationship is as solid as a rock! ;-)

    Best of luck to both of you on your journey! May it be a happy and successful one! :-)