"... when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
-- When Harry met Sally

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
-- Carl Jung

Thursday, July 23, 2009

The weekday morning ritual (E)

dictionary.reference.com: ritual: any practice or pattern of behavior regularly performed in a set manner.

freeonlinedictionary.com: ritual: a state or condition characterized by the presence of established procedure or routine.

The purposes of rituals are varied; they include compliance with religious obligations or ideals, satisfaction of spiritual or emotional needs of the practitioners, strengthening of social bonds, demonstration of respect or submission, stating one's affiliation, obtaining social acceptance or approval for some event — or, sometimes, just for the pleasure of the ritual itself...

Due to their symbolic nature, there are hardly any limits to the kind of actions that may be incorporated into a ritual...

Ritual serves diverse purposes including, but not limited to: worship, ... atonement, dedication, education...

Alongside the personal dimensions of worship and reverence, rituals can have a more basic social function in expressing, fixing and reinforcing the shared values and beliefs of a society...

Rituals can aid in creating a firm sense of group identity. Humans have used rituals to create social bonds and even to nourish interpersonal relationships...


On weekdays when both my Goddess and I go to work, I am the first one to wake up and get out of bed. I am always wearig my locked collar, which has normally been on since my return home the previous evening. Depending on my Goddess' mood the night before, I may be wearing locked leather wristcuffs and ankle cuffs, and they may, or may not, be clipped.

My first task is to prepare her coffee. Once that's done, I bring it back to the bedroom, turn on the television, place the coffee mug on her side table, and I gently wake her up from the side of the bed, on my knees.

As my Goddess awakens from her sleep, she makes herself comfortable sitting upright in bed, reclining on a pillow up against the headboard of the bed. As she takes her first sip of coffee, I light two cigarettes, handing one to her. Sitting on the floor by her side, I hold an ashtray which I keep comfortably within her reach until she is done. During that time, I turn on her hair rollers to warm up.

As she takes a few more sips of her coffee while she watches television, I go over to the bathroom, where I prepare her bath, turning on the water, and pouring her favorite bubble bath concoction into the rising water. I go back to her, wait until my Goddess is ready to get up, or until the bath will be adequately filled with water, assist her out of bed, accompany her to the bathtub, and make sure she has everything she needs.

If my Goddess does need anything, I will take care of it. But more often than not, she doesn't, and I usually return to bed, with her permission, to catch a few more minutes of sleep. During that time, my Goddess will clean-up, get dressed, do her hair, put on her make-up, and put her handbag or purse together for the day.

Before she leaves, my Goddess will come over to where I'm sleeping, unlock my collar and remove it. She is the only one who can put on and lock, or remove and unlock, my collar. While I may remove the cuffs once she leaves, I am forbidden to remove (or put on, for that matter) my collar myself. I will then accompany her to the door, making sure that my Goddess has everything she needs for the day, exchange kisses, and ask her to drive safely, as we hold hands until the last possible moment.


Within the D/s dynamics of our relationship, the purposes of this morning ritual definitely include compliance with obligations and ideals, satisfaction of spiritual and emotional needs, strengthening of our bond and connection, demonstration of respect and submission, seeking acceptance and approval, and just for the pleasure of the ritual itself. There are clearly dimensions of worship and reverence. Our ritual expresses and reinforces the D/s roles we hold within our relationship, and reinforces the dynamics of that relationship. And through that, as it nourishes our bond, our connection, it strengthens the relationship itself. There is no better way to start the day...

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