"... when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
-- When Harry met Sally

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
-- Carl Jung

Friday, July 17, 2009

Sexual servitude (E)


Picture courtesy of http://malesubmissionart.com

"I. Want. Sexual. Servitude."

I can't think of anything that my Goddess can tell me that will get me as completely and totally focused on her. Not that I'm a slacker when it comes to paying attention to her needs, stated or unstated. I try to think ahead whenever possible, and when she does ask for something, I do my best to do it well and quickly.

But sexual service is an opportunity to create a highlight in my Goddess' day. It's an opportunity to make her day better, to help her forget all the bad stuff about her day, and to create a diferent mood, serene and satisfied. It's also about giving... giving her pleasure, of course, but also giving her me for her use.

It is also one of those very symbolic actions in a femdom D/s relationship that is just so powerful. Within the context of the dynamics of our relationship, there are small actions that bring the dynamics to life, and there are big actions that bring the dynamics to life. All of them are meaningful. But sexual service is one of those big actions. In part because of what she receives, and in part because the only expectation of gratification I have is the incredible energy she has when I'm serving her in this way, and the satisfaction of the sexual fulfillment I bring to her. My own release, when it comes, if it comes, if she allows it, is a bonus.

A few evenings ago, laying in bed, relaxing, we starting kissing gently. My locked wrist and ankle cuffs had already been put in place for the night, and as usual, my locked collar went on earlier that evening, pretty much as soon as it was determined I would not need to leave the house for the evening. The kissing was one of those end of the day thank-you-for-being-in-my-life-you-make-everything-better-I-love-you-so-much-let-me-kiss-you-now-in-case-I-fall-asleep kind of kissing. But tenderness was quickly replace by some tension, positive tension, and then tension became this wonderful wave of energy that came over us. Gentle contact of the lips gradually gave way to something much more passionate, much more intimate. And then between breaths, she pulled her head slightly away, she looked straight into my eyes, and then she said it... "I. Want. Sexual. Servitude."

I was still lost gazing into her beautiful eyes, still a little overstimulated from our kissing, when I realized what she'd asked me. And then I melted. I felt this wave of submission and surrender wash over me. Slowly, I moved around on the bed to assume a better position. And then, I did what I was asked...

Even within the context of everything we do, it was an exceptional evening. She could simply not get enough. Not nearly. She just needed everything I could give her, and more. And it's not like we had been quiet for a long time. The last day that I had not serviced her, and/or that we had not had sex, probably went back at least two weeks. But her hunger was palpable, insatiable, and I did my best to satisfy her time and again, never the same way twice. And her orgasms seemed like they were getting more intense each time we would add one more.

I never keep count, but recalling 2-3 orgasms one way, 3-4 orgasms another way, another 2-3 yet in another manner, we must have been closing in on ten, or had past ten, I don't know, when her body kept shaking for several minutes after she had reached her latest orgasm. In between, I kept gently caressing her to see whether I needed to go on or not. I would gently run my hand over her skin, sometimes briefly over erogenous zones, to see how her body would respond. Until the before-last orgasm, there was no hesitation... within a minute or two, she was hungry for more. As time went on, the down period extended a bit, but then there was that climax that left her shaking for perhaps 3 or 4 minutes, even after I'd stop the stimulation and switched to caressing.

But she needed one more after that, and that was to be the last. Good thing too... I thought she would hurt herself from her body trembling again for several minutes. No more stimulation, no more passes over erogenous zones, no more caressing... she was totally overstimulated.

I moved in for a hug. I held her in my arms as the trembling slowly quieted down. I could feel her heart beating against my chest, her breathing still a bit fast going by my ear, a drop of sweat coming off her head and landing against my shoulder, rolling down the upper part of my back. We stayed like this for a few minutes, although it felt like time had completely stopped around us, and then I gently laid her down on her side, on her side of the bed.

She really wanted to smoke after that, so we did. I then tucked her under the covers, and she was immediately asleep. The following day, referring to her falling asleep so qquickly after we were done, she said "I was such a guy..."

I always tremendously enjoy bringing my Goddess pleasure, and sexual service is always such a privilege for me. I must say that I went to sleep extremely satisfied myself. Satisfied from what I could bring to her... give to her... do for her.

P.S.: In case anyone is wondering, yes, my Goddess did allow me release in there, somewhere in the middle. It was absolutely mind-blowing, like it is everytime she allows it. But like usual, that was an unexpected bonus. But I had to get back to my Goddess. I might have been done for the night, but she wasn't. The evening was all about my Goddess... as it should be... as I live for.

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