"... when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
-- When Harry met Sally

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
-- Carl Jung

Monday, May 2, 2011

Answer to Lady Grey: Comment on human furniture play (E)

Image courtesy of cctdc via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

"As far as the human furniture thing goes, how do you feel while in that position? I know how it makes me feel to use Karl as a footstool or coffee table, and he's described it as a deep feeling of subspace as time passes, and says that he almost goes into a trance to maintain his position. The longer it lasts, the more turned on he gets by my indifference (there's that word again) to his discomfort and the fact that there's no timetable involved, no point at which he can be certain that it will end. How does that compare with what you feel, and does Selena torment you in other ways while you are in that situation, and/or punish you for wobbling or not maintaining the position she wants you in? I must confess that I do both." Comment/questions from Lady Grey in a recent post.

I find that our human furniture play breaks down in one of two types of scenarios. The first type of human furniture play tends to require effort, or there is an element of predicament-type discomfort. It may be the muscle fatigue building while I try not to move under the tension (supporting some part of her weight and/or mine), a localized pain such as a heel against a soft spot of my body, or a position that may make breathing or moving more challenging. This kind of furniture play is very subspace-inducing because of the discomfort/pain, and the elements of active dominance, control, and sadistic enjoyment, on my Goddess’ side.

The second type of furniture play doesn’t require that much effort or cause discomfort/pain, but it may still be very powerful in setting or maintaining a D/s mood. Examples of this may be my Goddess placing her bare feet against my back or on one of my thighs while I’m at her feet on the floor, reclining on/against me while we watch some of her favorite TV shows (usually there is some bondage involved), or requesting that I be in certain positions while we sleep so that she can lay on me in whatever manner she desires (her head on my chest, with or without bondage, or part of my body under her knees). This kind of furniture play reinforces the sense of ownership/belonging, service, and being her available for her use.

In both cases, the physical contact, the uncertainty of the duration, the D/s imagery of the positions, and the D/s tension of the interaction, are all large parts of the dynamics that give this aspect of our play a tremendous appeal to us.

Punishment is not a big part of our furniture play, or our D/s dynamics generally. My Goddess hurts me, in whatever form, for her enjoyment and satisfaction because, well, she just enjoys it and gets a thrill from my reactions to it. Certain predicaments she places me in, or challenges she imposes on me, may lead to more/fewer or more/less intense strokes (paddle/cane/flogger), but otherwise, it is a discretionary decision based on her mood and how excited she gets by my unintentional reactions. Neither one of us are fans of the possible manipulations that may arise from performance-based punishment. Not to say that it can’t be done right or that other people can’t make it an integral part of their dynamics. It’s just not something that holds that much appeal to us and our dynamics are of a different nature.

While some types of rituals or scenes are more likely to bring about furniture play, it seems to me that apart from scheduled favorite TV shows, or when it comes time for going to bed to sleep, it happens as spur-of-the moment inspiration on our part (mainly my Goddess’). Like bondage, like spontaneous hurting, like predicament situations, furniture play blends in and flows and from our D/s dynamics and the natural exercise of my Goddess’ domination and my submission to her.

Artwork courtesy of Shohei Yamashiro via Lunar Black


  1. Thank you for your extensive and thoughtful answer. Here's a coincidence - I had just about finished a blog entry of my own on this subject, but was awaiting your promised answer before ending it. Today, when your answer did appear, I had to laugh at the fact that we both chose the exact same photo to start our postings! Great minds think alike, or something like that.

    Anyway, I'll post my views on this subject in a day or so, and I hope you don't mind that I'm going to quote you. I did find it interesting that Selena doesn't exact any specific punishment for any failures of yours in your role as furniture.

    I'm not quite sure what you mean by the "manipulations that may arise from performance based punishment". Could you speak more on that, as it's an area that I use quite often and find no negative aspects involved. Again, thank you for your answer.

  2. Dear Lady Grey,

    I do apologize for taking so long to put this together... I have had very little discretionary time these last few weeks. But it's a wonderful coincidence that we are both posting on this subject nearly at the same time. You are more than welcome to quote any part of this post you would like. And if I keep you waiting again at another time, which I hope I don't, don't hesitate to email us to check on what's going on.

    Both of us using the same picture is priceless... I guess we have similar mental imagery of furniture play, even if it's from opposite sides of the fence.

    Selena's style of domination is more tempestuous tigress than school teacher, more inspiration than method, more sadistic fun than mean. She seems to enjoy seeing my effort and suffering in any predicament, just because it's fun for her. If she feels like dishing "punishment", on its own or after a bout of human furniture play, or after anything else, she'll do so for her enjoyment, not as a reprimand or a reward.

    No offense was meant by my comment on "performance-based punishment" toward any one. Being involved in the public scene for a long time, we've witnessed a lot of histrionics by subs not quite giving a full effort in order to get extra or specific "punishment", or otherwise manipulating the outcome of the scene, and we stay away from those situations. The randomness and unpredictibility of my Goddess' actions keep me honest and without any sense of control over how she'll exert her dominance, and she doesn't put me in a position where I might even be tempted to influence her course of action. However, we also know that other people can work the punishment facet properly, without any manipulation, and we're happy it works for them.

    Always great chatting with you, and we'll always be happy to continue chatting with you through our blogs or by email.


  3. Thank you for the clarification of the "manipulation" thing. You're certainly correct when you say that there are those who seek a punishment by purposely failing to please their Dom. Luckily, my husband has no such inclination, as he's not a pain or punishment freak. That makes it much juicier when I am "forced" to give him one and/or the other:) Knowing that he's made the best possible effort in order to avoid a potential punishment is very, shall we say, gratifying.

    As always, my best to both of you.