"... when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
-- When Harry met Sally

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
-- Carl Jung

Monday, May 10, 2010

Mainstream kink (E)

Picture from http://interviewmagazine.com/music/madonna/. I found it originally in Aarkey's blog.

It's funny how even the smallest snippet of kink in mainstream media can get us excited. Whether it's in books, movies, magazines, music, or on TV, who, among us, doesn't take a moment to stop and pause, and stare, to see how much is revealed, how well it's done, and whether it's done with a certain amount of respect or in derision.

All too often, of course, we end up disappointed. First, what is shown never feels like enough. Second, more often than not, it feels superficial. Third, derision is more often the mood than respect, or something that feels cutting edge.

That is, of course, when kink isn't put in the context of a murder investigation or psychologically abherrant behavior. Now don't get me wrong. I'm a big fan of the original CSI, and Lady Heather. But it would have been nice to have just one episode with some BDSM play where some of those involved didn't die.

I guess I can live with superficial. It may be better than nothing at all. But sometimes, I wonder what people are thinking. For example, I enjoy the stunning fetish fashion in Christina Aguilera's latest video, Not Myself Tonight, as much as anyone, but what exactly are they doing?


And why does she have to be feeling outside of herself in order to do, well, do something that has elements of BDSM? There's still an implication that she's doing something taboo, or worse, something wrong.

At the end of the day, my excitement at seeing flashes of kink in the mainstream is almost always shot down by how it's presented and what is implied. For every well-done Madonna shoot, or the surprising Mr. & Mrs. Willis shoot in W last summer...

... there's an awkward effort like the movie "Walk All Over Me"...

At the end of the day, that brief, almost stolen, thrill of finding kink in mainstream media comes with a reminder of how far society is from accepting what that imagery represents. The excitement of the moment is deflated by the reminder that I must keep relatively secret how I feel and who I am. And the extent of the extraordinary love I share with my Goddess must remain unknown to all but a few select acquaintances.

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