The freedom not to be free (E)

"I'll keep you", from http://mangademon333.deviantart.com

"... I don't know how these guys do it, and how these women let them do it. I know where he [Endymion] is all the time, and what he's doing."

I overheard this comment from my Goddess to someone very close to us as they caught part of a television show that dealt with cheating.

I thought that was hot. I loved hearing her say that. It was a powerful reminder of our bond of love, our enjoyment of each other's company, our D/s relationship, and of our lifestyle.

I don't have the least interest in being away from my Goddess for any reason. Every moment is happier, more intense, funnier, richer, more enjoyable, and more interesting for sharing it with her. I certainly have no interest in straying... why would I risk what I'd be hoping for all my life? I am deeply in love with her, and uncurably addicted to her. Any time spent doing something without her, never mind time with another woman, would be time away from my Goddess, and that's simply not a good trade-off. It would be a waste of opportunity. The opportunity to spend more time with her.

In addition, between my mainstream collar, which cannot be removed and has clear symbolism once made visible, and the locked ankle cuffs that I am often asked to wear under long pants, there are physical and visual barriers that would take the air out of any attempted adventurous interlude.

I love being hers. I love even more that she loves that I am hers. The control she has over where I am and what I'm doing at anytime is an implicit part of our D/s dynamics, and reinforces them. It isn't done in distrust, but it makes trust implicit and almost 100% verifiable for her, and I see it has a sign of how much she cares. The loss of freedom is insignificant and forgotten in contrast to the gain of sharing and happiness.

Where some might see loss, limits, and constraints, I see the reaching of a dream, two people that can't be away from each other, and an intense flow of feelings of owning and belonging. Now that I am where I've wanted to be all my life, why would I be upset at not having the luxury of leaving it?

The prospect to exploring further and deeper with my Goddess, hand-in-hand on our common journey, is immensely more appealing me than any scenario that would not include her. And that's why not only do I not mind the situation, I think it's really hot.