"... when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
-- When Harry met Sally

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
-- Carl Jung

Sunday, January 26, 2014

What I love the most about being Goddess Selena's submissive (E)

Artwork courtesy of Freya's Fancy, found on Girls Rule, Subs Drool

I'm not a huge fan of Fetlife. Several years ago I eventually became a little tired, perhaps even irritated, with it. Too many discussions focusing on definitions again and again. Too many threads started with an agenda of provocation. Too many posts that read like fake and/or bad wank fodder. But I occasionally return to see what's going, even if it may be several months between visits. Despite my complaints, it is certainly unparalleled in scale as a BDSM social network and resource.

Yesterday morning, on one of these occasional visits, a post in one of the well moderated discussion groups I tend to favor, Submissive men and women who love them, struck my fancy. The OP asked: "Tell me what you love the most about being a dominant woman's sub?"

I smiled and began giving a bit of thought to the question. And then I reflected on what I love the most about Goddess Selena's submissive today in contrast to what I loved in our earlier days, the evolution of our relationship, and how our relational dynamics and our activities have evolved over time. Because so much has happened over the time we've been together, impacting so many facets of our lives. The nation’s economic downturn. Geographic relocation. Changes in employment. The significant time demands of our jobs. Significant health issues.

And I decided that I loved the stability and centering that our D/s relationship has given us. While the frequency and duration of our formal playtime and BDSM games have always been susceptible to the overall time we have together and the energy we have at those moments, I feel that the spirit of the commitment we made to each other at the time of Goddess Selena collaring me has never wavered. In part because of our caring and love for each other both through our respective D/s roles, and regardless of those roles. And in part because of the daily rituals, and their related activities, we have come to cherish so much. To quote one of my favorite Ferns expressions, these rituals and activities have been continually "close-making."

Artwork courtesy of JLB, found on Dommes and Subs and Switches, Oh My...

So this post gave me a warm feeling over the course of a few minutes of introspection. And it reminded me of the Glenda Cloud quote “Change is inevitable. Growth is intentional.” 

And as to the original Fetlife post, with much satisfaction I replied:

What I love the most about being Goddess Selena's submissive? I can't really bring myself to give just one thing. It wouldn't do justice to what makes me so happy about being her submissive. With that disclaimer out of the way...
1- Being the focus of attention of a beautiful, sexy, smart, and dominant woman.
2- Making the life of someone I love and serve better.
3- Belonging to her... the warm feeling of being her boy, pet, play toy.
4- The nature of the daily banter between a witty dominant woman and her submissive.
5- The daily rituals we have that reinforce our D/s relational dynamics.
6- Being the object of her dominant and sexual desires.
7- Being with someone who appreciates, respects, and loves me as I am and for whom I am.
8- The rush of the tension and dynamics of a relationship where power exchange plays a big part.
9- Knowing that she finds her own enjoyment in the physical, mental, and emotional sensations she gives me.

"Me and my mistress" by zephyrianboom, found on Lunar Black


  1. Hi Dymion:

    I really enjoyed reading this. I find it beneficial to think about the positive things in my life and remember to be grateful for them. Foremost among those is my marriage to Her Majesty. Amazing to think that we have been together for 27 years yet I am still madly in love with her. That's really saying something. I could relate to many of the items on your list.

    "Being with someone who appreciates, respects, and loves me as I am and for whom I am." really stands out for me. That is only a beginning but it is so important. On the days work schedule, family obligations or health issue force us to pause in our D/s relationship i remember I am blessed to be in a relationship with a woman who truly understands me and loves me for who I am.

    Great post!

  2. Dear HMP,

    Thanks for dropping by and taking the time to comment!

    Indeed, acceptance is so critically important.

    27 years! Absolutely awesome! It reminds me that I've been thinking quite a bit of late about the evolution of D/s and BDSM relationships. There is a lot of stuff out there about how to meet people, narratives of scenes and play sessions, sharing of fetishes, and definitions and categorizations, but not much about how long-term relations evolve and how the dynamics and activities change (or stay the same).

    I have to be in New York later this week, but perhaps next week we can touch base and see if we couldn't write something on this topic each on our side. Although Goddess Selena and I would probably qualify in the mid-term category. And perhaps even get some other people involved in long-standing D/s relationships to contribute.

    Glad you enjoyed the post!

    All the best to you and Your Majesty!


  3. This was super sweet, a lovely positive read (and I love that you used the term 'close-making' *smile*).


  4. Dear Ferns,

    So glad you enjoyed the post! I absolutely loved your expression "close-making." Bravo! And I was definitely looking for an opportunity to use it.

    Thank you for dropping by. All the best to you!


  5. Hi Dymion:

    Great idea! I would love to do a double post on longevity in D/s relationships. Let's definitely put out heads together on that one!

  6. Dear HMP,

    Awesome! Perhaps we can each come up with a set of questions, both questions we want to answer and and questions for each other, consolidate them, and then blog our our common answers.

    Send me an email at selena.endymion@gmail.com at your convenience, and we can start the process!

    All the Best to you and Your Majesty!


  7. The drawing are always intriguing.... especially in B&W. I think they leave more space for imagination xx