"... when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
-- When Harry met Sally

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
-- Carl Jung

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Need for appreciation (E)

Artwork courtesy of Flat Earth Social Club

On a web forum that I check on from time to time, the subject of appreciation came up. More specifically, the topic was about naming 5 things that I need to feel appreciated, and identifying two things that I would like to see/have/receive more of... hmmm...

I enjoyed the reflection this topic led to, so I'm carrying some of those thoughts, revised, over to our blog.

First, I feel an awkwardness around the word "need". Obviously, feeling appreciated is good and healthy for me, it's part of our D/s dynamics, and positively reinforces the behavior I display and the actions I do for my Goddess. The awkwardness part is that I'd like to think that I my needs are minimal, and that I wouldn't impose my needs on my Goddess and on our relationship. But human nature being what it is, and the dynamics of a loving relationship being what they are, it's only normal that the energy and the needs flow both ways, even if in different ways.

That being said... 5 things I need to feel appreciated...

1- My Goddess takes advantage of my dedication and servitude to her. It makes me feel appreciated that she enjoys having me do things for her, the more the better. It's a great win-win situation.

2- My Goddess spends all the time she can with me. Outside of our respective professional work life, we are virtually inseparable. That makes me feel special and appreciated.

3- Letting me know how special I am to her, including saying what a good pet I am, that I'm her boy, that I belong to her, that I'm hot, that she loves using me as her toy, and my favorite, when she pulls me in close to her by my locked collar, looks me straight in the eyes, and says "Mine!"

4- Whenever my Goddess feels the urge to express her dominance. It makes me feel appreciated/wanted/needed when she plays with me whenever she wants, when she hurts me whenever she wants, when she dominates me whenever she wants, because she's in the mood, because it's part of how she expresses her sexuality, because it's part of who she is, because... well, just because. She doesn't need a reason.

5- When I feel my Goddess' enjoyment of our rituals and protocols. Our D/s relationship is 24/7, and she has never tired of enjoying the myriad of little rituals and protocols that make it 24/7 D/s, further reinforcing the dynamics. Her enjoyment of these rituals and protocols, her insistance on these rituals and protocols tells me that they are important to her, and that makes me feel appreciated.

What? No sex in this list? No. Sex is a wonderful and delightful by-product of our connection, our intimacy, the expression of our sexuality, and the nature of our D/s dynamics. It's not a reward. We couldn't possibly wrap our minds around sex as a reward and be true to ourselves. It would mean that it was really only pleasure for one person, an obligation, an imposition.

Points of improvement? None really. Beyond the fact that we never have enough of each other, never have enough of what we do for each other. The addictive nature of our relationship, of our play, of our dynamics, and of our love for each other, these all make it so that we can never seem to get enough of each other. Otherwise, there's nothing else I could wish for

Except... perhaps... that we remain together forever, and keep exploring on this incredible journey we share.

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