"... when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
-- When Harry met Sally

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
-- Carl Jung

Friday, April 2, 2010

Do Most Dommes Apologize? I Do. (S)


"sel & ed" image courtesy of photobucket

I owe a genuine apologize to my Dymion. Details aren't important, but I know I hurt his feelings (and not in a hot, degrading sort of way). He is absolutely the most important thing in my world and I never want to be the source of his distress. We are a team and we should be each other's loudest cheerleader. I have not done that in recent days. In fact, I have been somewhat of a terror to be with (again, not in a hot, degrading sort of way) Frankly, I have been doing all the emotional leaning, yet not taking my share of the weight when it was quite clear I needed to.

So, this brings up a topic for discussion. In a 24/7 D/s relationship, do Dommes ever have to apologize? The answer is, without a doubt, absolutely. Life happens in and out of the dungeon. Everything always comes back to respect, trust, and love. I want my Dymion to know he has all three from me...unconditionally.

Dominants cannot assume our submissive mates REALLY wants to take ALL of our shit...really....we aren't easy people to get along with sometimes. For those Dommes who feel every sub should suck it up and deal with our mood swings, double standards, or any of our other bullshit under any and all circumstances...um...well...(should I say it?) you might actually be wrong. Take a deep breath...I realize that might come as a shock. But seriously, I am not attacking, but rather asking you to learn from my recent misstep. Truth be told, though I try to personify awesomeness, I can be pretty annoying sometimes. I know this. I accept it. And, really, Dymion offers me unconditional acceptance and love regardless of my imperfections, but that doesn't mean I should take advantage of his patience and support and it CERTAINLY doesn't mean I should challenge his devotion. Again, details not important, but admittedly I have not made loving me as easy at it should be the last few days.

So, what is my point? I dont know. These are really the ramblings of a woman in the middle of the night who happens to be dominant and happens to be madly in love with her partner. I guess I just want to remind our readers and myself that a true lifestyle relationship recognizes that both parties are human first. Both need to be picked up when they are down and both need the opportunity to occasionally just have a grumpy day without being interrogated with, "what's your fucking problem?" until they would rather beat themselves than deal with our delightful attitudes. For those who know the joy of the lifestyle we all share...just remember to always be kind to your partners and realize that you are just as lucky to have them as they are to have you...male, female, dominant, or submissive...we are so fortunate to find someone standing next to us on this journey.

Ok! Off the soapbox... I promise hotter entries are soon to come. Dymion and I will certainly recover and be up and playing in no time. But for those of your disappointed this wasnt the typical entry about hot sex, beatings, blindfolds, chains, or any of our other normal deliciousness, I will remind you (in true Domme form), it is my fucking blog! I can get sappy for a moment if I want to!
But with a final touch of heartfelt seriousness...Thank you for reading my ramblings. I just pulled the covers over the shoulders of my precious, sleeping dymion and kissed him on the forehead. It is time to settle in next to him for some rest of my own. In the morning, I suppose he will notice this post so...MY DYMION...I love you...my wonderful pet...my perfect love. I hope you know I never meant to make you feel any less than fabulous. You are now and will always be the hottest, coolest guy ever! Thank you for giving me the honor of holding the key to your collar.

4 comments:

  1. Whether one is a Dominant, or not, when in the wrong one should apologize. I know that I have done My share of that exact thing when I mess up.

    Good for You for recognizing this, and taking action.

    My best,

    Aradia

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  2. The most important thing is that the two of you love each other. And an apologise between lovers is always a good thing.

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  3. Probably one of the most responsible femdom posts I have seen to date. As a Dominant you clearly understand the responsibility you hold to your submissive's mental and physical well being. To perceive yourself as perfect and thus without the need to ever apologize would be very dangerous.

    I suspect the difference between yourself and the mommydoms for whom such a question would never occur, lies in your core respect for the submissive's emotional maturity, where as they view submissive as having the emotional equivalent of an 8 year old boy, always in the wrong, thus mommy is always right.

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  4. Thank you all for your comments and support. It is wonderful to find like minded people. Sometimes it makes me feel better to rant when in distress like that. I really thought I might get a little grief from our followers for my emotional ramblings. However, it was such a pleasant suprise that my fellow kinksters were there to make me feel better. Again, much appreciated. I hope you all had a fabulous Easter weekend! For me, Dymion and I spent the holiday together so all is bliss.

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