"... when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
-- When Harry met Sally

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
-- Carl Jung

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Desire and appreciation (E)

Artwork courtesy of http://malesubmissionart.com

Over the time that we've been blogging, many people have taken the time to leave a comment or send us an email about the artwork we use. The feedback has been wonderful, and it has made the trouble of finding artwork for each post well worth the effort. Choosing appropriate artwork can be a surprisingly challenging task, and it can often take almost as long as it takes to write the post. It has to be relevant to the main point/theme of the post, it hopefully matches up to a certain extent with some of the main activities, and it certainly must capture the emotions or energy of the post. In addition, if the author of the artwork can be identified, and I know this individual makes a living from their art, I will also shoot them a quick email to ask them for permission to use the artwork. Whew! Lots of work... but again, the feedback of our readers make it all worth it.

Occasionally, very rarely, the process runs in the opposite direction. I'll see artwork that will immediately inspire some thoughts or reflections, and I'll literally start developing a post around it. Today is one of those instances. Visiting one of my favorite websites, Male Submission Art, I found not only a superb photograph (2/18/2010) that took my breath away, but I was once more impressed by maymay's impactful and deep comments. While his comments about this picture go far beyond the passage I copied below, I was particularly touched by what he had to say on desire:

"...what I like most about the photograph is the evident desire exuding from both models... Desire is a complex beast; it’s difficult to succinctly and accurately communicate what it is that we want. Worse, if you enjoy occupying certain social roles, such as submissive masculinity, cultural preconceptions about what you are allowed to want so strongly influence so many people that actually getting what you want is made even harder. And if that weren’t enough, many people often perceive frustration from wanting-and-not-getting as anger or entitlement on your part when, in fact, such frustration is simply the innate human drive towards equal opportunity."

And I think this passage made an impact on me because of my own difficulties in expressing my submissive side for many years, despite the fact that I began having these feelings at a very young age, and they have been part of my life, of who I am, every single day of my life. In retrospect, this was made even more challenging because of the respect and admiration I've received for my strong RL personality. So finding the right opportunities, and the right people, to share my submissive desires with, never mind living them out, had been something that had truly become a journey.

Which leads me to my Goddess. Through the lenses of such reflections and considerations, she is for me, more than ever, the rarest of jewels. Among the truly remarkable elements of our relationship is that element of desire. The fact that I could express those desires, and that I would find acceptance and understanding from her, is simply wonderful. Beyond that, I found someone who wanted me for who I was, including those desires. That is what SHE desires. Desiring someone is hot, being desired by someone is even hotter. It is the enthusiasm she has for possessing me, the joy she expresses reveling in my service and attention, her desire to be dominant to me with the intensity I want to submit to her, all these things that create that "equal opportunity", opposite but complimentary, different but just as fulfilling, that make this relationship so exceptional.

All I can say is that I wish upon all of you that have searched so hard and waited for so long, that you get your opportunity to reach that moment of bliss at one point. And never give up looking.


  1. Such insightful and incredible post...you are NOT alone in this. Thank you for your comments.


  2. A lovely post, indeed, so I'm thrilled to have written a few words that may have sparked it.

    all these things that create that "equal opportunity", opposite but complimentary, different but just as fulfilling, that make this relationship so exceptional.

    That's what I've taken to calling "equality, not sameness." Thanks for sharing. Hopefully this post's presence will help a few other submissive people, whether they be men, women, or genderqueer people, realize that they can desire and have their desire fulfilled, too.

  3. CH and mm,

    This comes a little late (RL has been crazy), but thank you for dropping by, for your wonderful feedback, and sharing your thoughts.

    And mm, keep up the great work on your MSA site. Nobody does it better than you do.