Part 2: Dominating my pet (S)

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Part 1: Submitting to my Goddess (E)

Artwork courtesy of http://teased-n-denied.tumblr.com/

The first of two-parts. My Goddess challenged me to write about our play time two evenings ago. Then tomorrow, she'll write about the same scene, but without reading my post. Then we'll have fun comparing accounts.

"9 o'clock tonight. On your knees, next to the bed. Naked. Wait for me."

Those words came from my Goddess in the late morning, two days ago. Of course, it's one of those things you can't un-hear. It stays with you. The anticipation builds. Every glance we exchanged over the course of the day had a brighter twinkle. Every look at the other revealed a secretive, knowing smile. Time couldn't go by fast enough. This was at least as hot as the "You're getting tied up tonight!" of the previous week.

But the time finally came, and I was ready for my Goddess. On my knees. Next to the bed. Naked. With the locking leather collar on the bed, along with most of our toys in our large toy bag at the foot of the bed.

My Goddess walked in, fresh from her shower. She looked please. She sat on the side of the bed, put the collar around my neck, and locked it. The initial, and familiar feel of the leather collar is always such a joy after missing it for 12 to 16 hours. And the sound of the small lock clicking shut never loses its magic for me.

She placed leather wristcuffs on me, and locked those too. And clipped them together. Next, she reached for a leather blindfold, placed it around my head, tight and secure. Finally, she clipped a leash to the central ring of my collar, and told me that she was not going to walk to the other side of the bed. As I wondered what was to transpire at that point, my Goddess stood up, told me to get on all fours, straddled my back, and told me to be on my way. What a joy to have my Goddess sitting on my bare back! The physical sensation of her weight, the mental imagery of my Goddess ordering her pet to carry her, and the emotions that resulted from this symbolically powerful act, were all quite overwhelming.

My Goddess led me onto the bed, and told me to get on all fours. She pulled me into just the position she wanted. She ran her nails down my back and over my backside. She teased my nipples, and playfully moved on to some CBT.

She paused for just a moment, and then the first stroke from a flogger came down. My Goddess worked one flogger for a few strokes, and moved on to another flogger quite rapidly. She changed implements a few times, and by the third one, I was deep enough in subspace that I had trouble focusing enough to identify them. And besides, I didn't want to focus... I was letting go.

Speaking of subspace, while it started moving in on me in the morning, and gradually throughout the day, I had reached further milestones in subspace waiting for my Goddess to come in while I was on my knees naked, when she used me to "pony" her across the bedroom, and when she began sensation and impact play.

But my Goddess totally floored me when she interrupted what she was doing, came right next to me, grabbed my hair, pulled back my head, and teasingly asked:

"Does my pet want to get fucked tonight?"

Wow... What could I say? I certainly couldn't go against the wishes and desires of my Goddess...

So she did. And it was incredible. It always is. I've said a million times before, and I'll say it one more time now. Getting taken by my Goddess is such an intimate, magical, powerful, and symbolic act. The sensual application of lube around my opening. The hotness and anticipation of my Goddess preparing me with her fingers for what is to come. The gentle but firm pressure of the strap-on reaching deeper inside me. My Goddess finally reaching all the way inside me. My Goddess, once in all the way, gradually fucking me with more speed and more force. Faster, harder, deeper. She keeps building up. She reaches terminal velocity. Her orgasm is on its way no matter what. She loses control of the rhythm Her strokes are hard and long. She pulls in my hips with her hands, digging her nails inside them. And then a huge climax hits her.

After the trembling subsides, my Goddess pushes me on my side and orders me to lie down on my back. She straddles my stomach, still shaking a bit. I can feel her wetness against my skin. She reaches for my nipples, playing with them hard. She reaches back for some CBT, and hurts me until I get rock hard. She comes back to the nipples, and after almost getting a whimper from me, my Goddess unclips my wristcuffs from each, and reclips each of them to a ring on opposite sides of my locking leather collar. A classic position that she has only recently begun to appreciate and enjoy.

My Goddess returns to NT and CBT, having fun while I was in this particularly helpless position. She goes harder with the nipples, and deeper with her nails on my testicules and penis. And then, she begins moving up my torso. She keeps at it until her sacred feminine is directly over my mouth, and then lowers herself onto to me. She pulses lightly up-and-down with her hips, creating a wave-lapping-against-the-shore kind of movement. As I am doing my best trying to bring my Goddess pleasure, I realize that with my wrists clipped as they are to my collar, her knees are pinning my arms down and keeping them in tension to the sides. This in turn is keeping my collar taut, and greatly limiting my head movement. I am almost totally immobile, and my Goddess is in total control. The internal vision and the emotions of the predicament, and once more, the symbolism, are almost as powerful as the actual physical sensations.

As my Goddess approaches climax, she reaches for my nostrils, pinches them shut, and lowers herself onto me completely. Under the pressure of bringing her to climax before I run out of air, my tongue darts around and licks her furiously, and it isn't long before my Goddess has another powerful orgasm.

She moves off my face, she slides down my torso while she's still trembling, and takes back the place she had sitting on my hips earlier. My Goddess resumes NT and CBT, even harder than before, while she is still trembling more, and is wetter then before. My nipples deliciously suffer at her hands until she gets a whimper from me.

That didn't take too long. Which is good because my Goddess wasn't done with me quite yet. A few seconds after the whimper, my Goddess is tugging on my collar to position me into more sexual servitude, and more orgasms. Including, eventually, one for me.

A Noteworthy Revelation (S)

In all the months I have been tying my precious pet to various things, finding new ways to torment him, and striving to get him to his ultimate subspace, a simple maneuver had escaped me until just recently. In a bed where I had no headboard to use or any easily accessible bed frames, I suddently realized I could tie his hands to the rings on his own collar to restrict movement. (Yes, I know you have probably all done this before, but I had seriously never really thought about it)

Anyway, when I had clipped his wrists to the extra rings on the sides of the collar, I looked at him with amazement...I'm sure the poor blind folded fella was perplexed at the silence as I simply sat and stared at how awesome he looked. He couldn't protect the delicate areas I love to touch, he really couldnt roll himself over easily. He was really forced to lay there, trust, and anticipate.

It was a simple, yet perfect, move. Suddenly, I was completely excited. Not just about the position, as hot as it was, but at the endless possible predicaments I continue to find to make scenes unique for the two of us. Once you think you tried it all something else right in front of your face appears and you realize, "wow, that's hot, too!"

I will be with dymion for the rest of my life...this wonderful man...and I can honestly say I have no worries of boredom. Every scene is a little different, every sound he makes effects me in a different way, every flogger, cane, crop, etc has just a tiny bit of a different feel in my hand and on his warm skin. 30 more years to come? 40 more years to come? Bring it on! The sex is awesome, the bondage is tight, and there is no sensation that will be left unfelt. The options are limitless and I don't mind the journey to find each and every one.

Life rocks and so does my darling pet, dymion. I love him and the life we are building together.

Lost into her: part 3 - other stuff (E)

Artwork by Morilla/doclusifer, courtesy of deviantart.net, through http://lunarblack.tumblr.com

After the caning... but was it before the hogtie or after? I don't know any more. I don't think I knew by the time I came out of subspace late the morning after. And I have no idea in what order the following happened. Just snippets, flash-images, and partial memories....

Lying on my back in the king-sized bed, blindfolded, hands bound over my head, ankles bound at the other end, my Goddess is sitting on my hips. She is artfully torturing my nipples with her nails, squeezing... pinching... pulling... twisting... As the pain increases, so do my reactions. Soft moans... deep exhales... gentle squirming. The sounds excite her. The movements turn her on. She grinds against me, teasing me since I'm not inside her. The more she hurts me, the more I struggle against the bondage and against her weight, and the more excited she gets and the more she grinds against me. After a few short minutes, the spiral is inescapable. She's reached terminal velocity, and the hot hurt-moan-squirm-grind cycle continues until she is literally hit by a huge climax. I feel her shaking for a minute or two as she lies onto my chest, post-orgasm.

Laid out on my back on the bed, blindfolded, my hands and feet bound at opposite ends, my Goddess takes a break. She comes back to me and blows the first drag of her cigarette into my face. A shiver goes down my spine. She sits next to me, and teases me with her smoke. Some face-blowing... later a forced inhale... later still exhaling into my mouth as she kissed me. Each one leaves me trembling. As much from the fetish action as from her dominance, and my vulnerability to her whims. She moves lower down, still at my side, and I feel her stretch and keep in place the nipple on my right side. Within seconds, I feel intense heat close to it. I don't know how close... And then it gets even hotter. But I stay still, and exhale deeply as the heat gets continually more intense. Her hand has moved off my chest, but I still feel the searing heat around my nipple. I drop down a few more notches in subspace. I am so her toy... for whatever she wants. She repeats on the left side...

I hear the clothespins fall out of the bag. Same position... blindfolded, hands bound at one end of the bed, and ankles bound at the other end of the bed. But it seems to me this was in a different orientation. My Goddess applies the first few clothepins around my testicles and along the shaft of the penis. She loves making pretty patterns with them. She also likes squeezing them, shaking them, and pulling gently on them. But she enjoys even more removing them. Once she applied a dozen or so (one doesn't count very well while in subspace, so I have really no idea), and teased me for a few minutes, my Goddess starts removing them in the order she put them on. I can feel her satisfaction and excitement as she hears the deep exhale, and the occasional upward hip movement at each one of the clothespins taken off. The sharpness of the pain, and the almost searing sensation of a clothespin removed is sweet agony, and almost gets a girlish giggle out of her. A dozen times...

Bound as I am, I can't escape my Goddess. And she is desperately horny. She climbs onto me, and sits on my face. I am plunged into the ambrosia of her most private areas. I feverishly move my tongue to bring her the pleasure I can feel she wants so badly. I also time my breaths as she smothers me for 5 to 10 seconds at a time when she lets her full weight down on my face. She gets closer to climax. The intervals get longer. I can feel her grinding down on me more forcefully. My tongue is working harder and faster. She goes a little higher, and she lets me catch a few breaths, but I can't interrupt what I'm doing. My Goddess pinches my nostrils and sits back down on my face. I lick at her furiously. Her climax is so big she literally falls off me. She recovers by my side. When the trembling subsides, she pulls on the leash attached to the locked leather collar. She forces me to turn onto my belly. She changes her angle to me slightly, and then pulls on the leash some more. My head is way up in-between my legs. She moves down a little closer. She is not done yet. She's not sated. A few minutes later, my Goddess has had another 2 orgasms.

After everything that happened, after some winding down, after the blindfold had been removed (but not the clipped wrist cuffs or clipped ankle cuffs, and certainly not the locked collar), we finished with me kissing her feet. And licking her toes. It was a wonderful end to a spectacular evening. Gentle, intimate, tender, caring, there is something so relaxing to both of us in foot worship. Once that ended after perhaps 10 minutes, we lay down to go to sleep, sometime around 3 AM, my Goddess leaving me in bondage. As tired as we were, we still couldn't fall asleep. She felt so good next to me, and she thought/felt the same. So she unclipped my wrist cuffs (but not the ankle cuffs... challenge!) and we made love. She had another 2 orgasms, and she allowed me release.

And then, finally, after some light cleaning up, my Goddess clipped my wrist cuffs together again, and we fell asleep. Deeply. And very close to each other.

We'll have to remember this hotel...

Totally lost into her: part 2 - tied up (E)

Artwork courtesy of Flat Earth Social Club

Sometime after the unforgiving ecstasy of cane...

I was lying on the bed on my front. My Goddess unclipped the locked leather wrist cuffs, and moved my arms alongside my body. Moving down to my feet, she took hold of the clipped ankle cuffs. She brought them toward my backside, making my legs bend at the knees. She then took hold of my left hand, lifted it up, and clipped the wrist cuff to the left ankle cuff. Finally, my Goddess clipped the right wrist cuff to the right ankle cuff.

And there I was, on the bed, hogtied, in the total control of my Goddess, completely vulnerable, totally in her control.

The hogtie is a very special experience for both of us. My Goddess loves how little I can move, she loves how helpless I am, she loves how helplessly open I am to whatever she wants to do to me, even if it's doing nothing.

On the other side of it, the hogtie is the source of some of my deepest subspace experiences. The feeling of strict and ungiving, yet relatively comfortable bondage, immobile and vulnerable, with just a bit of tension, creates an uncommonly deep sense of surrender, and a powerful feeling of dependance on, and trust in, my Goddess.

I don't know how long my Goddess kept me in that position. It could have been 10 minutes, or it could have been two hours. Something in between, I'm sure.

I remember her nearby warmth, hovering teasingly over me. I remember the reassurance of her physcial presence when she scratched me or pinched me or bit me or kissed me or hurt me. I remember feeling light, almost detached from my body. I remember the comfort of being in my Goddess' care. I remember being absolutely hers. Bound, but bound to her. Beyond my body being bound in leather and metal, my mind and my soul were bound by her love and dominance.

It might have looked from the outside like I was in immobilizing bondage with my Goddess dominantly, victoriously standing over me, but the reality of the emotions and sensations was an almost overwhelming lightness of being... a spiritual joining of my Goddess and I, hand-in-hand, soul-to-soul, moving down a path without place or time, with the familiar and recognizable behind us, and the exciting but still undiscovered before us...

Totally lost into her: part 1 (E)

Artwork courtesy of Bishop through the Museum of Femdom Art

We finally made it to our hotel room, both of us edgy and excited at what was coming.

My Goddess looked stunning in her knee-high black high-heel boots, knee-length skirt, red shirt, and black vest. We had had the whole day to ourselves, and a fun evening. But I had no illusions about what was to follow. My Goddess had been in the mood all week, and had even mentioned a few times in the previous days that she felt an overdue need to "beat the shit" out of me. Playfully, of course.

After putting down the bags and taking off my coat, I reached into our toy bag for my locking leather collar, and I offered it promptly to my Goddess. It's always the first thing on the agenda. Once the collar in place and locked, I removed my Goddess' boots slowly, almost in a ritualistic manner. After pulling off one boot, I gently kissed her foot in respect/adoration, inhaling the wonderful fragrance that was a combination of the aroma of the boot and the sweet, delicate smell of her foot encased in the boot for the past many hours. I repeated the action with the other side, and then moved up her leg with tender little kisses.

My Goddess told me to find her some ice, so I immediately got up, put on clothing that would cover my collar, and left the room with the ice bucket. Already, I was slipping into subspace as I walked the hallways looking for the ice machine. Anticipation... excitement... surrender... intoxication... all mixed in to give me a high that had me feeling a bit lightheaded.

I returned within just a few minutes, and my Goddess was waiting for me, sitting on the bed, in her black nylons, panties, and bra. I paused... got closer... we kissed... passionately. I poured her drink, and then without further delay, she ordered me to lie down on the bed.

We had both been looking forward to this for several days. And when the moment came, I was totally lost into her. My surrender was complete almost before we had begun. Drifting in subspace from the very beginning, the activities are clear in my mind, the sensations and emotions crisply etched, but the sequence is blurry. Akin a dream that we need to recompose from a set of vivid images without being able to remember the exact flow.

I do remember that the caning came early on.

Once I was on the bed, as my Goddess ordered, she quickly proceeded to place and lock the leather wrist cuffs and ankle cuffs on me. The wrist cuffs were clipped together, as were the ankle cuffs. The blindfold came on next. Or did it go on first? I'm not sure anymore. But I remember the warmth inside of me, being the center of attention of my Goddess. And as she further restrained my body, she more completely captured my mind as I became more vulnerable, as I became increasingly helpless and in her control.

My Goddess ordered me on all fours on the bed. She ran her fingers and nails over my body, down my back, over my ass, down my leg, and back up. She grabbed my hair and gave it a tug, as if to say "mine", as if to remind me that she could do anything she wanted.

I recognized the heavy plastic violet cane on the first stroke. I think it's my Goddess' favorite. She took her time building up the intensity... relatively... for her. But eventually the strokes came down heavy, sharp, and stinging. Some of them resonated through my body for a few seconds after the impact. But I had let go early on, and between that and the warm-up, I was able to take more strokes than usual. Which made her proud. And what a feeling that was. She was proud of what I had taken for her. There are few feelings as satisfying for me as that of meeting my Goddess' expectations, of making her happy. Of her being proud of my submission, and enjoying herself expressing her dominance.

She remarked on the beautiful marks she was leaving on my backside. Strokes of dark colors on the canvas of my body, deep brush strokes on the fabric of my soul. I wanted to give her more. She wanted to give me more. And she did. But she noticed not too long after that I had broken into a bit of a sweat. By now, my Goddess knows that means that I'm getting close to my limits. So she wrapped up with a few memorable strokes, and she caressed me, telling me how good I had been.

So deep into subspace, I really can't recall what came next. Was it my Goddess playing with an ice cube, dripping the cold drops over my body? Was it the hogtie? Was it the smoking scene? Was it the sexual servitude in bondage? Was it the Nipple torture? Was it the CBT?

And when did they come? How did we move from one to another? I don't know. I couldn't tell 24 hours after it happened, as I still was in subspace, with my mind swirling in mental imagery, phanthom sensations, and an acute sense of belonging. And I still haven't strung it together.

So I'll share some of the highlights piecemeal. But I've run out of time for now, and this entry is already plenty long, so I'll have to do it in part 2, in the next blog entry.

Morning-after foot worship (E)

Artwork courtesy of http://bendoverloverboy.tumblr.com/

I was trying to take small, slow steps preparing my Goddess' coffee so that I wouldn't wake her up. And also because small, slow steps take less of a toll on my skin when I'm wearing locked ankle cuffs that are clipped together with a 4-inch clip.

After a very memorable evening, and some even more memorable play, my Goddess left the clipped and locked ankle cuffs on me, as well as the locked wrist cuffs, when we went to sleep. Of course, the usual locked collar had been around my neck for hours already, and I don't think there will ever be a night that she'll Iet me go to sleep without it.

The minutes passed, and it was getting close to the time to wake up my Goddess. I wanted to make sure that everything was ready for her. When the time came, I gently woke her up from the side of the bed, kneeling on the floor, and then after she sat up against the pillows, I handed her the cup of coffee. A sip or two of coffee later, I lit her cigarette and gave it to her as I sat on the floor, making sure her ashtray was conveniently within her reach.

We chatted about the fantastic twelve hours we had just shared, looking back on it with enthusiasm and fondness. About 10 minutes later, my Goddess requested a refill of her coffee, and after slowly going over to get it and bringing it back to her (my ankles were still bound), I sat back down on the ground at her side, lit another cigarette for her, and we talked to more.

When my Goddess was done smoking, I came up on my knees, reached over the side of the bed, and I found her left foot, which I began kissing. I kissed each one of her toes, from the big toe to the small one, and back again, moved on to the top of her foot with many little kisses before coming back to her toes for two more passes. And then I moved on to the other foot for the same.

I just love worshipping my Goddess' feet. And she seems to truly enjoy it when I do. But there was something special about doing it that morning. I don't know if I was still in subspace from the play just a few hours previous, if I just had not had the opportunity to relax and focus on her feet like that for a while, or if it was just a mood thing. But the more intensely I kissed and licked her feet and toes, the more I needed it to do. With each pass, I kissed them more deeply, more passionately. Each time I finished a foot, I decided I would do it one more time on the other. I lost count after doing each foot half-a-dozen times. And I needed to do more... longer... deeper... more intensely. I couldn't get away from her feet... from her.

But eventually, nature called, and my Goddess needed to go use the bathroom. I broke away from her feet as she sat on the edge of the bed before getting up. As she changed position, one leg caressed the side of my face, and I couldn't stop myself from bringing my lips to the soft skin of her inner thighs as she paused before standing up. The gentle kiss slowed her down for a moment, and I kissed her again in the same spot. My Goddess leaned back, and I couldn't resist kissing the tender flesh of her inner thigh, from the inside of her knee to just a bit shy of her sacred feminine. Infatuated, intoxicated, I couldn't get away, and clearly, she didn't want me to stop.

Within a few minutes though, she really needed to go, and I pulled away from her. After she returned from the bathroom, my Goddess stood nearby, teasingly, dominantly. I was compelled to go to her, and I crawled over to her on all fours. I quickly made my way to her, and she ran her fingers through my hair once I reached her. As she pulled her hand away after a playing with my hair for a while, I moved my head against her leg, feeling her lean back against me.

After rubbing her leg against me for a few seconds, my Goddess straddled my head, and then moved over my back. She sat on the small of my back, and soon after, leaned back, her back against mine. She adjusted her position a bit, and then hit one of my favorite positions ever, an incredibly sensual, erotic, and dominant position. She reclined with all her weight on me, again her back against my back, with one leg up, her neck over my head, her head and hair past my head. I did my best to balance her while I was under her on all fours, supporting her, carrying her, my Goddess, my dominant Queen. To add to the beauty of the pose, she dropped her arms behind her, past my ribs, and harshy pinched my nipples, challenging me not move so much she would fall off.

I wish a photographer had been there to capture the moment, the pose, the symbolism in the position, freezing in time a moment of power exchange capturing our sexual and relational dynamics so exquisitely. Alas, it will have to suffice that it will be one of those moments and rainbow of emotions etched in my soul forever.

But all this was the morning follow-up after a very special evening with my Goddess. How did we get here? What happened previously to lead to this peak? Next post, friends... next post...

Signs of ownership (E)

Artwork courtesy of http://www.femdomartists.com/

Top 10 things that show/express/demonstrate my Goddess' ownership of me.

1- The locked chain around my neck... In the more than three months since it has been purchased, it's been off only twice, for a total of less than 2 hours. In one case, it was to get through a metal detector. Only she has the keys.

2- The locked leather collar... I wear it at all times at home when we don't have other people over. I must offer it to her any time we get back home, and it's on by the time we go to sleep every single night. Very occasionally, when the circumstances are right, she will require that I wear it when we go out.

3- Locked leather ankle cuffs under my pants... My Goddess will sometimes put them on me before a work day, or for some of our outings.

4- The house leash... During quiet times at home, a 50-ft leash is often clipped to my locked leather collar so that my Goddess can pull me back any time she needs something. Or just to tease me.

5- My Goddess writing on me... Using a hot pink Sharpie, sometimes she will write on my body little messages of ownership while I am bound. It takes 2-4 days before the writing washes off.

6- Overnight bondage... From just binding my hands with clipped and locked leather wrist cuffs, to binding my hands to the headboard, to full immobilization that include my hands being tied to the bed, my ankles locked in a spreader bar tied to the foot of the bed, and a blindfold, sometimes my Goddess is intent in keeping her pet right next to her overnight.

7- Gags... When my Goddess wants to make sure she is the only one that can enjoy the sounds I make when she hurts me.

8- Being her toy for pain... In public or in private, my Goddess loves to hurt me, whenever she feels like it. It displays her control and her dominance over me, and her ownership of me.

9- Strap-on play... For sex or simply to express her dominance, my Goddess loves to take me, whenever the mood strikes her.

10- Sexual servitude... I am on-call to provide sexual service to my Goddess anytime, anywhere, and in any manner she wants/needs. Enough said.

And I must say, it is truly sublime to belong to my Goddess.