Pillow note (E)

"Drow Love" by Darkest Drow, via Lunar Black

"BTW, I expect a collar on you every night when you get home - MINE! Not the usual one, but you have others to choose from".

~ Handwritten note left on my pillow when I came back home the day that my Goddess left for her business trip.

Every day when I came back home, after placing a leather collar around my neck, I took a picture and texted it to her, showing her that it was on, that I was home, and the time I had returned. I kept it on until I had to shower for work the next morning.

The reference to "the usual one" is about the traditional locking leather collar that only my Goddess can place around my neck, lock, and unlock. I am forbidden to handle that one in any way except offering to her.

The reference to "Mine!" is about who I belong to.

Upon her return from her trip, my Goddess found me wearing an alternate collar, which pleased her. But she rapidly had me fetch the locking leather one, and changed out the collars. The click of the lock on the usual collar was so immensely satisfying for both of us.

The joys of control at a distance! Such simple gestures, such deep symbolism. She is just the hottest!

Reminder (E)

An Abuse of Power, by Caregan, via Lunar Black

I am loved,
owned,
& collared.

Selena

...Pink Sharpie marking my Goddess made on my chest last night... between rounds of heavy nipple play... taking advantage of the fact I was bound in wrist and ankle cuffs.

A reminder for me to see every day (until it washes off in 3-4 days) while she's away on a business trip this week...

The leash, and other sacred rituals (E)

The Red Boots, by Silver Jane, via Lunar Black

In these difficult economic times for us, I haven't given my Goddess a lot of time or many opportunities for her to express her domination. She has been so patient with my very long days and weeks at work, so generous with her unconditional support, and so wonderful in making the most of our few moments together.

That said, there are a number of our sacred rituals that are part of our lives that are as constant as the rising and setting cycle of the sun every day, and I am so grateful to my Goddess for keeping these going, and for her continued enjoyment of them, always maintaining a certain level of positive tension in our D/s dynamics.

Recently, my Goddess asked me to re-install the long "house leash" to the bed. The first thing I did the next morning was to clip one end of the 50' leash to the foot of the bed, and clip the other end to my locked leather collar. Upon her waking up later that morning, she found the leash, and pulled me in to her, wherever I was in our home, so I could begin my day of service to her.

Speaking of the locked leather collar, it is still one of my most cherished pleasures that every night, upon my return home, as surely as the tides move in and out twice a day, the D/s dynamics of our relationship are celebrated as I kneel before my Goddess, offering her my locking leather collar. She places it around my neck and locks it in place, where it remains until I need to shower before leaving for work the next morning. It means so much to me that she feels as strongly about this symbolic display domination and submission, owning and belonging, as I do.

When I'm still home at the time my Goddess wakes up in the morning, I have unerringly taken the opportunity for our favorite morning ritual. I'll prepare her one of her favorite coffees, bring it to her side, kneel before her as I lay it on the table, light her cigarette, and hold the ashtray up for her. If we still have a little time, I will take take each of her feet, and cover them with hundreds of little tender kisses.

When time allows in the morning, I make an additional offering of presenting myself to her at wake-up time with nipple clamps or nipples rings on, wearing little else than those, my locked leather collar, my ever-present eternity collar, and some underwear or sleeping shorts. She delights in my willingness to suffer for her, and she can never resist the temptation of reaching out to tug on the nipple clamps or rings to tease me and elicit gentle moans for me that she so enjoys.

I make it a point of doing some domestic duties such as cleaning, washing dishes, and straightening out the house before she gets up, although it is never quite enough, and I must schedule my time better to keep our humble castle in better shape for my Goddess.

Often in the evening, in addition to the locking leather collar, my Goddess will enjoy placing locking leather wrist cuffs and ankle cuffs on me, whether there is any play to follow or not. It's just an ownership thing, and she knows how much I love to honor by having many tangible, symbolic signs of my belonging to her.

While the locking leather items may not go on if we are having friends or family over, I do try to fulfill my Goddess' expectations of being the serving host, and this subtle part of our relationship dynamics, is especially exciting as it goes relatively unnoticed by our visitors.

Of course, variations are numerous, and play may or may not follow our rituals. However, these rituals are the foundations that keep our love and D/s dynamics strong, constant, unshakable, and full of positive tension that keep us both in a state of always wanting to get back to each other, always wanting to be with each other, and always wanting to do more with/for each other.

Instead of being restraining, our rituals are means for liberation, and they reinforce our love and commitment to each other. To paraphrase Amy Gregory from an article I read a long time ago, rituals resonate within us, they comfort us, and what they communicate to us is even more important than actually performing them. Rituals may be intimidating to some, but they don't have to be big events. They are about connecting, they about celebration, and I think that my Goddess and I will continue to find solace in them.

Image courtesy of Miss and pet

Foot worship: Rush and excitement (E)

Artwork courtesy of Lunar Black

My Goddess looked absolutely splendid lying on the bed, up on one elbow watching some television, relaxing after a long day. She had told me to refresh her drink, and I was hobbling back to hand it to her. Yes… hobbling.

A bit earlier, when we had come back, she had placed and locked my leather collar around my neck, and she had demanded that I bring her the leather wrist cuffs and ankle cuffs, which she promptly locked on me. The hobbling part was because she clipped the wrist cuffs together and the ankle cuffs together. Oh, how she loves to watch me struggle, puttering around to serve her. And while this inevitably leaves me feeling awkward, I am always happy to entertain my Goddess. The sexiness of her smile of superiority, the mischievousness energy of her having the upper hand, and her dominant giggles, are totally intoxicating.

After preparing her drink the first time, we engaged in one of our favorite card games. We played without me knowing whether she would punish me for winning or for losing. It didn’t really matter because by the time we finished, she needed a new drink, and that’s when I returned, with short hobbling steps, and found her on the bed, irresistibly, dominantly, lying there, and enjoying the spectacle of my minor predicament.

After placing the drink on the side table, my Goddess told me that she needed a foot rub. I instantly felt a rush come over me, and butterflies in my stomach. I could not return to the bottom of the bed fast enough. I fell to my knees, and reached over for one of her feet, not far away from the edge of the bed.

I thoroughly worked over my Goddess’ feet, cupping and kneading the pad of her heels, rubbing and stroking her arches, kneading the forefoot areas, individually massaging and gently stretching her toes, and generally trying to relax every part of her feet.

By then, my Goddess was laying on both her elbows, with her head back, her beautiful hair dropping down freely. She truly looked divine. I could not help but to move in closer, and I gently started reaching for her toes with my tongue. With the first licks, I heard a deep moan come from her, and then a bit of a shiver, and I knew that I had to get a bit more intimate in worshipping her feet.

My tongue made its way under, over, around, and in-between each of her toes. Her deep guttural exhales and moans urged me to go on. Next, I took in different combinations of my Goddess’ toes into my mouth, savoring each of them like delicate, tasty morsels of fine food, and again running my tongue over them, in a half-caress, half-massage kind of way. We were both entranced...

After taking care of both feet, the look in her eyes told me something had been started that would not be stopped. I could feel my Goddess’ need, her hunger. I climbed, as gracefully as I could manage in the clipped cuffs, onto the bed, and began to kiss her beautiful and smooth legs up and down. After a few passes, I settled lower between her legs, pushed my arms under and around the back of her thighs and over to her belly, where my hands reached hers.

As busy as it had been up to now, my tongue’s duties were not over yet. Delicately, I reached in with it, alternating slow and quick movements, teasing more gently and licking more forcefully, and I did my best to quell my Goddess’ hunger. It wasn’t long before she reached a thunderous climax. I moved up and held her in my arms as the post-orgasm trembling diminished to occasional shudders.

Once she had recovered, my Goddess pushed me away a bit, pulled my T-shirt over my head, unclipped my wrist cuffs, and reached for my nipples. This is the usual sign that it is time for more traditional love making, albeit under the condition of the delicious hurt she enjoys inflicting. Through the nipple torture she had so much fun with, she dictated the pace, and eventually the intensity, of an absolutely massive orgasm that wasn’t long in coming.

Image from http://yourbootblack.tumblr.com/ via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

6 weeks of the Eternity Collar (E)

Image courtesy of http://m-gameboy2.tumblr.com/

It's been almost six weeks since my Goddess has placed the Eternity Collar around my neck, and screwed it closed. And its impact has been all we could have asked for.

Its heft and rigidity are constant reminders to me of what it represents: my submission to my Goddess, her ownership of me, my status as her toy, her pet, her boy.

Its presence, and the thought that I cannot remove it on my own without a very significant amount of trouble, are constant reminders to my Goddess of her dominance and control over me, and of my belonging to her. I am hers.

While there was a bit of self-consciousness on my part at the beginning, despite the pride of wearing it for my Goddess, that's totally gone now, and I don't mind in the least who sees it. The powerful symbolism and the physical reminder of our D/s dynamics are all that remain.

While the eternity collar in black (Phantom Line) is a classic piece that blends in fairly well with casual clothing and goes unnoticed under more business/formal attire, it is more much difficult to miss when if I leave the neck of a shirt unbuttoned, or if I wear something with a lower neckline (T-shirt, anything with a crew neck).

In a funny anecdote, I was getting my haircut recently at a barber shop, and the lady cutting my hair needed to trim the hair on the back of my neck. She took hold of the eternity collar to move it out of the way, and said, "Oh my God! That thing weighs a ton!" She did ask where I got it. I simply replied that it was a gift from my beloved, and it was a symbol of the strength of our love and relationship...

Interestingly, nobody else has said anything else about the eternity collar.

There is so much about of the eternity collar that I love. I love it when my Goddess grabs a hold of the eternity collar to pull me in for a kiss, to tell me something dominant or dirty, or to simply remind me of who holds the reins. I love it when we make love, and the D-ring of the locked leather collar my Goddess put on me in the early evening dings loudly against the eternity collar. I love it when my Goddess catches a glimpse of the eternity collar, and she flashes one of her dominant "I own you, Bitch!" smiles. I love it when I'm apart from my Goddess for a short while, and I feel the eternity collar around my neck, and I bring a hand to it, and feel its strength and its size and its warmth. And I feel the texture of the hinge or the edges where the allen screw keeps it locked around my neck.

And most of all, I love it that my Goddess feels so strongly about our relationship, and the nature/dynamics of our relationship, that she wanted to have as imposing a piece as the eternity collar placed around my neck, in all that it is, and in all that it represents.


Image courtesy of www.meninpain.com via Miz Helena

Game night (E)

Image courtesy of Herrin Domino and Piotrushka (tumblr site not active anymore)

A little quiet time presented itself to us this weekend, and my Goddess was in the mood for some trivia. But as some of you might recall from much earlier posts, playing table games in our household tends to be significantly, hmmm, interesting, than what most people have in mind when they pull out the game board and place the pieces...

My Goddess and I enjoyed a wonderfully romantic dinner out, and did a little shopping before coming back home. During that time out, I had on locking leather ankle cuffs, a little tangible reminder of my Goddess' control and ownership of me. Upon returning home, I removed my clothes, and she added the locking the leather collar and locking leather wrist cuffs, she clipped the ankle cuffs together, and finally she clipped the wrist cuffs together.

As usual in this setup, it was challenging for me to get on and off our relatively high bed, and run for errands, and my Goddess always enjoys every second of watching me struggle moving around when I'm in bondage.

I managed to find a stable position on the bed, cross-legged, and we setup the game board, pieces, and cards. In addition to the traditional challenge of the game, my Goddess' rules were that if I missed a question, I would get four strokes of the cane for each point it was worth. For the normal course of this particular game, I could be in line for 120 strokes or more if the game went badly for me.

We picked our tiles for the first round, and each ordered them in order of our preference (from hardest/least comfortable field of knowledge = 1 point, to easiest/most comfortable field of knowledge = 4 points). She was up first (of course... she's the Goddess), and correctly answered her question. Then it was my turn... and I didn't know the answer... Crap...

I awkwardly made my way to the edge of the bed, swung my legs over the edge, and leaned over until my feet reached the floor. I hobbled to the end of the bed, where I leaned onto my hands and stuck my backside out to present a nice easy target for my Goddess. That question was worth 1 point, so I got 4 strokes. Not that many to start, but she made sure they counted...

I struggled back onto the bed, and the game continued. I got the next three questions to move into the lead (saving myself 36 strokes), and on the next round, I missed the 1-point question again. Off the bed, another 4 strokes. Next question, worth 2 points. I had no idea. Off the bed, another 8 strokes. I correctly answered the next two questions to maintain my lead (and saving myself 28 strokes).

In the third round, I missed the first question once more. So again, off the bed, and another 4 strokes. I correctly answered the next two questions, allowing me to complete going around the board and win the game, saving me any more strokes. Of course, my Goddess was disappointed, and to a certain extent, so was I, although I'm not sure if she was more disappointed at coming in a close second, or at the fact that the caning was done for now. It is worth noting, however, that in the past, the end of the game has never meant that she couldn't decide that I needed more caning...

She was, in fact, in the mood to hurt me a little more, and after we finished putting the game away, I stretched out on my belly, up to my elbows, as we chatted, and then she decided to climb onto my back for some scratching, some biting, and reaching underneath with her hands for some heavy NT over the course of about 10 minutes. As usual, my moans and squirmy movements excited her immensely, as she sat on my lower back, leaned over me, and had fun hurting me.

For some, it may beg the question, why did I not let her win? Simply, she expects me to do my best. We are both very good at trivia, and she would not at all appreciate me throwing the game, either to get more strokes or for her ego. Those are games we don't play. Nor do I ever intentionally mess up in my service to her in order to get "punishment". There's something dishonest about those kinds of mind games. Disappointing her, or incurring her wrath, would be terribly shameful for me, and not in the least something I would aim to get some pleasure from. In addition, my Goddess is way too smart not to see this kind of manipulation from a mile away.

Playful moments reinforcing the D/s dynamics of our relationship... under conditions of control (bondage, special rules) dictated by her mood... and her enjoyment of her power over me by subjecting me to sensation/impact play (caning, NT) that allowed her to physically express her dominance over my body and my mind... What a wonderful way it was to wrap-up the weekend!

Image courtesy of Eagerlicker via Dishevelled Domina

Morning attack! (E)

"My arms wrap around you, pulling the hard plains of your body against my own. Lips trail down the side of your neck as I inhale your scent. Hands roam over you, a tug of your head as I pull your hair. Lips claiming your jaw, teeth biting. Nails dig into flesh. Pressing hips against you. Hungry for the man you are. For the man I know you are. Starved for the feel of your body inside of me."

"[G]ood morning, Lover "

Image and caption courtesy of Masochistic Beauty

Still in a fog from the deep sleep I was in, I feel sharp pain around my nipples, and my loins getting warm, tightening. A moan escapes me as I'm trying to get my wits about me and realize my Goddess is right next to me doing some NT... tugging on the central D-ring of my locked leather collar... raking her long, sharp nails around my privates and occasionally digging them in... grabbing hold of the eternity collar... going back to the NT...

As I'm slowly waking up to the delicious torment of the sensation play, my Goddess climbs up onto my hips and begins to grind down and gyrate against my rock-hard penis. No penetration, she just wants to feel me like this and hurt me for a while. She increases the intensity of the NT, making me squirm more under her. It excites her... it feeds her... it fuels her need to hurt me more. My Goddess dials up the intensity, the cycle keeps spiraling up in excitement and in pain. I feel the rawness of her sexual hunger, of her domination over my body. The hurt... my movement and my moans... her own movements, rubbing and grinding against me... she hurts me more...

This is one those moments frozen in time that seems to last forever while you are engaged in it. It still gives me shivers two days later as I write about it.

If I wouldn't have dipped into subspace so quickly, my Goddess might have brought me to the edge of climax. But this was all about her. It continues until that magical nexus when I don't think I can take anymore pain but I don't want her to stop for anything in the world. Somewhere in the cycle, at the nexus, my moans stop and she gets a whimper. How she loves the whimper! She lives for the whimper! And then a huge climax tears through her body. I can feel the reverberations as she slumps forward and trembles against my chest for a minute or two.

After the last of the tremors, my Goddess sits upright again, and moves up my torso until she lines up her hips over my head. I'm desperate to taste her, to bring her pleasure again, to have her assume such a dominant position over me, and to feel the tremors and reverberations of her climax against me once more.

I begin to reach in with my tongue, exploring gently, teasing, stimulating. I feel her already well on her way to another orgasm. I slow down a bit, but it doesn't make a difference. I slow down some more, and do more teasing with the tip of my tongue, but my Goddess is having none of it. She brings herself lower onto my face, and reaches down with her fingers to pinch my nostrils shut. I begin to work much more quickly, intensely, frantically. She has reached terminal velocity on her way to climax. She keeps me from breathing until she reaches orgasm, which is just a matter of seconds. As her climax literally shakes her off my face onto a sitting position on my chest, I take in a big inhale to catch up on the oxygen, and then I enjoy once again feeling the tremors of my Goddess' orgasm echoing through my body.

As my Goddess recovers, she moves off to my side, and tell me, "Entertain me!". That's our signal that she's had all the stimulation she can handle for the time being, but that she expects me to bring myself to climax in her presence. She's very close, lying along my right side, holding her torso up on her left elbow. She starts torturing my left nipple with her right hand as I begin to stroke my penis. Then she moves her head closer, and bites down on the right nipple. She begins a new pain-pleasure cycle for me with her long and sharp nails on one side, and her teeth on the other. More pain for me... more squirming and more moans and more movement for me... more excitement for her... and higher up we go in the spiral...

It really didn't take long. I don't know how long it took, but I know it couldn't have been more than a matter of just a couple of minutes. Somewhere climbing the pain-pleasure spiral, I absolutely explode and make a huge mess. Over my legs and stomach, over her leg and hip, over the bed. Wow... Just wow...

I reach for a couple of towels. We wipe down and wipe off. We kiss. We hug. We snuggle. And then we get up to get ready for work.

Good morning to you too, my Love!