"... when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
-- When Harry met Sally

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
-- Carl Jung

Monday, January 2, 2012

The Eternity Collar: one year anniversary (E)

"Dymion's Eternity Collar" by Goddess Selena

Last Friday 3 days ago marked one year since my Goddess placed an Eternity Collar around my neck. I had wasted no time putting down our first impressions of the Eternity Collar in the
original post the very day it arrived and my Goddess put it on me. Back then I had written:

"The Eternity Collar really is a superb piece. Making its presence felt around my neck by its weight and its rigidity, it perfectly symbolizes my attachment and my belonging to my Goddess, her ownership of me, and the strength of the ties that bind us. It certainly makes very tangible the expression "owned and collared"."

In a
post six weeks after my Goddess first re-collared me with the Eternity Collar, I went on:

"Its heft and rigidity are constant reminders to me of what it represents: my submission to my Goddess, her ownership of me, my status as her toy, her pet, her boy.

...Its presence, and the thought that I cannot remove it on my own without a very significant amount of trouble, are constant reminders to my Goddess of her dominance and control over me, and of my belonging to her. I am hers...

... There is so much about of the eternity collar that I love. I love it when my Goddess grabs a hold of the eternity collar to pull me in for a kiss, to tell me something dominant or dirty, or to simply remind me of who holds the reins. I love it when we make love, and the D-ring of the locked leather collar my Goddess put on me in the early evening dings loudly against the eternity collar. I love it when my Goddess catches a glimpse of the eternity collar, and she flashes one of her dominant "I own you, Bitch!" smiles. I love it when I'm apart from my Goddess for a short while, and I feel the eternity collar around my neck, and I bring a hand to it, and feel its strength and its size and its warmth. And I feel the texture of the hinge or the edges where the allen screw keeps it locked around my neck.

And most of all, I love it that my Goddess feels so strongly about our relationship, and the nature/dynamics of our relationship, that she wanted to have as imposing a piece as the eternity collar placed around my neck, in all that it is, and in all that it represents."


A year after my Goddess affixed the Eternity Collar around my neck those words stand bigger, truer, and more vivid than ever. And the Eternity Collar it has remained in place, without interruptions, 24/7/365. It took a little getting used to, both physically and in terms of self-awareness. But now, it is part of me. Part of my body, part of my soul. And that is so very special to me because of the link to my Goddess. The Eternity Collar is there because she wants it so. The symbolism of our original collaring ceremony many years ago, the re-collaring with the Eternity Collar, the permanence of collar, all have been such powerful moments defining our love and our D/s relational dynamics.

My Goddess keeps playfully reminding me that she has no idea where the Allen keys to remove it might be. In fact, after 368 days of continuous wear, through workouts, showers, and just daily activities, who knows if it would come off with the Allen key by now. But it doesn't really matter. She has absolutely no intention of ever taking it off. I can only wonder what moments will come when sooner or later I encounter metal detectors at airports, or buildings that have them as a security measure. There have already been rather memorable moments with a much less imposing piece before (posted here). But I know they will only add to my Goddess' pleasure and her empowerment.
But I am so proud to be wearing the Eternity Collar my Goddess chose for me. I am so proud that she felt so strongly about my belonging to her, of her ownership of me, that she wanted such an imposing and definitive sign for us, and for the world to see if necessary. And for that, I am also so thankful.

"Dymion's Home Collars" by Goddess Selena

14 comments:

  1. Hi Dymion:

    Congratulations to you and Goddess Selena on Y/your one year anniversary! :-)

    Best

    hmp

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  2. And I lost the key again. ;). -Selena

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  3. HMP,

    Thanks for the congrats! One year of the Eternity Collar, several years since the original collaring, and she still has me thinking of her every second of the day! I am truly blessed!

    Thanks for dropping by!

    D

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  4. Hi,
    Is your collar black or is it photo effect? And did you have looks or remarks in your daily life in public as the collar looks quite apparent and that bdsm is becomming quite well known as is this collar?
    Congrats for you!

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  5. Ric C,

    The Eternity Collar is indeed black. It's their "Phantom" line.

    The only comments I've gotten over the course of the year have come from the hair stylists when I go to get my hair cut. They've remarked on how heavy it is, I've gotten a "Oh my God! It's metal!", I've been asked if it was uncomfortable (no), and I've been asked what it's about ("it's a symbol of our relationship... she wanted something that 'captured my strength' and I wear it as a sign of my love that I give only to her"). Not once has BDSM ever been mentioned, and nobody else has ever said a thing.

    I am fairly discreet with it. At work, when not wearing a tie, I wear T-shirts that go up high enough to cover it... most of the time. That being said, it has peaked through occasionally, and I'm sure work colleagues have noticed. I know family and friends have definitely noticed it. Whether people are afraid to say or ask about its D/s significance, or they just have no idea and it's just a bit excentric to them, that's hard to tell.

    So overall, it's worked well for us. Fact of the matter is, people have remarked on my attentiveness to my Goddess, my servitude to her, and her attitude toward me much more readily. That's been harder to hide. But still no D/s or BDSM type comments from the vanilla crowd.

    Thanks for the congrats, and thank you for taking the time to comment. I hope this answers everything for you. If not, drop by again.

    Dymion

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  6. Very kind to have so well answered.I do understand the feeling that the collar might gives you as well as for your Goddess to see it around your neck. I'll keep in mind that we could do the same one day...

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  7. Do forgive Me for knot sending My wishes on this wonderful occasion, butt better late than never..

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  8. Ric C,

    You're very welcome. I'm happy it gave you food for thought.

    Dymion

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  9. Sir,

    How nice of you to drop by and to offer us your nice wishes! Late is never an issue with you... Always glad to hear from you!

    Hope everything good with you.

    Dymion

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  10. Thanks for sharing your experience with this collar.
    What I would like to know is: Did you have difficulties getting used to it? Did it hurt when you were lying in bed? Or in any other position?
    There are anatomically shaped collars, e.g.
    Talena, and I wonder if they are worth their hefty price (almost 200 Euros with locking option).

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  11. Tamara,

    Welcome to our blog! Thank you for your questions. Let me try answer each one of them.

    Getting to use to it: no, not really. It does take a little getting used to because of its weight and rigidity. Which is good, right? It would not be as much of a reminder of its symbolism if I'd put it on and forget forever that it's there. Was it difficult? No, not at all. It does take a bit of adaptation, such as a minute or two of focus to wash during each shower, it may bounce slightly during certain types of exercises/work-outs, it may press slightly against the collarbone with a tight collared shirt and tie, and depending on one's work situation, it may require clothing that provides a bit more discretion. However, I would say that it was not hard at all to get used to it, and within a few weeks, it was simply a wonderfully comforting presence and reminder of the love and dedication, in a D/s kind of way, my Goddess and I have for each other.

    Did/does it hurt lying in bed: No. Typically, the angle from the shoulder to the jaw leaves plenty of space for it to rest (side), and so does the space between the upperback and the back of the skull (back). And because it has some heft of its own, it will create its own groove against a pillow or a mattress. Doing yoga or other floor exercises, lying on my back, I may have to move the front of it into a different angle very occasionally. As mentioned earlier, it may have a bit of a bounce during high-impact aerobic exercising, but I seem to notice that less as I've worn it. It has never hurt me. Unless my Goddess pulled on it abruptly to get my attention...

    Anatomically-shaped (AS) collars: not having tried those, I can't say if they are worth the extra price. With either those or the Eternity Collar, sizing would be critically important. Too small is not safe, too large will have too much movement, and in the case of the AS collars, where they rest on the body could be an issue. I would imagine the AS could be even more comfortable if you have a perfect fit, but I'm also thinking that in the course of normal daily activities, if there is any movement of the collar, the bends of the collar could be a bit misaligned, which would require readjusting the position a few times. With a circular collar, that's never an issue.

    Without experience with AS collars or empirical evidence related to them, I would think that with the correct fit/sizing, they would be less noticeable to the user than a circular collar through most of the day in a standing or sitting position. I can't see that they would be any better in lying position or in activities with much impact. In view of the fact that I did not find the Eternity Collar difficult to get used to, I'm not convinced I would spend the extra money for AS collars if my present one needed to be removed and replaced by another collar. But this is just me. And perhaps I might want to try one of the AS collars one day.

    I hope this was helpful to you. And thank you for visiting our blog.

    Best of luck. Let us know how your experiment turns out.

    Dymion

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  12. Thank you very much for your detailled and helpful reply. I think you made some good points about anatomically shaped collars.

    I wish you many more happy years together

    Tamara

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  13. My pleasure Tamara. I will follow-up on your lastest email inquiry shortly. I apologize for the delay.

    D

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