Needing more time (E)

Artwork courtesy of Kokuryuugan via Lunar Black

Just yesterday morning, my Goddess was having her daily fix of hurting me when she said "I need some long play time."

The prelude to the comment was just the usual bit of NT & CBT on the run, with my Goddess trying to get some of her favorite facial expressions and sounds out of me. We had far too little time to take things further, pressed by the pressure of getting ready for an early workday. But her tantalizing comment, full of hunger, left me excited, and with a growing hunger myself for the next time we can lose ourselves into each other for as long as we want.

And then I was reminded of a wonderful passage from Mistress Wynter's blog, where she writes:

"I love to watch a sub react to the things I do or say; I deeply enjoy being the treasure trove of your kink, expanding our repertoire of play, causing more pain, ferreting out more secrets and using those secrets against you, the sharing of dark pleasures, the dance between top and bottom, the give and take and give and take until both parties realize that time has both stopped and raced by and that all other issues in the world are, for the time being, of absolutely no importance. All that matters is what we are doing, cause and effect, need and absolution. It is a gift to be shared completely, to be taken from your partner and given back in kind. There really isn't anything else quite like it.

I also enjoy the process of learning my sub, finding those buttons, pushing them lightly or pressing on them like crazy until I learn all I can about the person under my control. Smiling as you react, grinning at your discomfort, laughing at your pain. It is a shared process and that is why I love it so much."

What an intoxincatingly beautiful passage!

Granted, she wrote it in the larger context of a blog entry by a professional dominatrix lamenting clients coming in to see her for scripted scenes. Scripted scenes, in any context, simply miss the point. It's like reading the last chapter of the book first, and missing the progression and denouement of the adventure. It's like watching a sporting event on DVR the day after and knowing how the game turns out. It replaces the magic of the connection by a by-the-numbers set of gestures. It would indeed be a terrible loss of opportunity for both her and the client, especially since she's a pro-domme with an outstanding reputation.

But my point is that whether a lifestyle context or a professional one, this passage goes to the core of the dynamic exchange between the domme and her sub. It captures in words some of the mood, energy, and D/s tension that I feel from, and with, my Goddess in our interactions.

And Mistress Wynter's passage came to life vividly as my Goddess was leaning over me, torturing reactions she loves so much out of me, enjoying the fleeting moment we had, and longing to freeze that moment in time for us to do our intimate dance without another care in the world.