Exploration - thoughts and quotes (E)

Artwork courtesy of http://missblackmamba.tumblr.com/

"We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." ~ T.S. Elliot

“Exploration is really the essence of the human spirit.” ~ Frank Borman

“Creative people who can't help but explore other mental territories are at greater risk, just as someone who climbs a mountain is more at risk than someone who just walks along a village lane.” ~ R.D. Laing

“I prefer to explore the most intimate moments, the smaller, crystallized details we all hinge our lives on.” ~ Rita Dove

The most rewarding exploration is the universe inside of us... share the journey with the one you love... don't be afraid to talk, to share, to celebrate, to love... never take the magic for granted... never stop feeding the love...

A whole new level (E)

Artwork courtesy of http://snail.meilk.com via Lunar Black

The last post by Goddess Selena received a number of comments, public and private, that were absolutely fascinating. And they were all the more engaging since we had been thinking about doing short videos for quite a while. Now before you all start holding your breath for the first one to appear, it's important to understand that especially after the feedback we received, we would want to do this right.

Among the comments left on our blog, Queen and Slave indicated that the idea of short videos that would allow the flow of images, words, and viewer/reader imagination would be attractive to them.

"Kathryn" felt strongly enough about it to come out of lurking to support the idea of seeing the "magic" that Selena and I share on "a whole new level". She continues:

"Seeing your dynamic like that would simply be amazing. It'd also be really useful, because my boyfriend and I are just starting exploring all this, and out of all the blogs we've read, yours is the one that resonates with our dynamic the most. So it would be great to see from a comparison/idea-sharing and provoking point of view too."

"Steve" said:

"From reading your blogs I would think your videos would be done tastefully, classy and give us a further glimpse into a real world aspect of this dynamic. I know there are many who have struggled, myself being one, with introducing their partners to all of this. "

Her Majesty's Plaything followed up in a similar direction, writing:

"I think it would be wonderful for you and Dymion to share your interaction on video with us! I for one would welcome it. I feel I have gotten to know both of you through mutual sharing in the blogosphere and watching you together on video would definitely kick it up a notch!"

These thoughts, and the wonderful comments that were left about our blog put in relief our ideals about such an experience, but also reiterated some of my worries about adding short videos. Sharing the view we have from our D/s journey could be a positive experience for many people. And I'm not talking about those just looking for more wanking material! But there are worries. Could we really capture the magic in a visual format? While both of us are pretty creative, neither one of us are experienced videographers. Would the clips turn out to be too boring and disappointing for some? Or too explicit and perhaps too BDSM-porn for others? Clearly, our writing has set expections very high. Our challenge would be to blend/integrate just being ourselves, since that's the key ingredient of our "magic", with something that would be a bit more structured in a way that would be allow for the possibility of learning, inspiring fantasy and reality, and perhaps some level of contrasting approach/technique/mood.

The written word is an extraordinary medium. This is why even the best movie is at a disadvantage relative to the book on which it is based. The further challenge of capturing in images something that is so based on energy, on mood, on attitude, is rather intimidating. And ensuring a certain level of anonymity in a manner that won't take away from the video but would still minimize the risk of real-life exposure is just as daunting. Although we do have some ideas...

So this has firmed our resolve to move ahead with this project, but it's likely going to take us a little time to come up with imagery that is true to who we are, and that hopefully captures at least a bit of who are are and what we do. I doubt it'll look very professional, but perhaps what we lack in finish we'll make up in a style that is uniquely us. More private play party than porn video, more energy and dynamics than toy and technique demonstration, more D/s than exhibitionism.

Who knows... this may be for us also a whole new level in the expression of our sexuality and sensuality. If we can avoid being too self-conscious of the medium, this could be a new way, or the next way, in which we can celebrate our love for each other, our distinctive sexual orientations, our extraordinary fit of opposites, and a lifestyle that is sensually beautiful, intensely intimate, powerfully intoxicating, and wonderfully rewarding,

And we'll count on you, our dedicated and oh-so-flattering readers, to let us know how we're doing on the filmmaking.

P.S.: Many thanks to Queen & Slave, to Kathryn, to Steve, to HMP, and to others who communicated with us. Your feedback, your compliments, and your insights and hopes all foster a sense of community, and provide us with a driving sense of mission to continue to share this part of our lives.

Random funny stories lead to fantasies (S)

I have a new job in a rural, town with several new, rural, coworkers. They know nothing of the activities dymion and I took part in while living in a large metropolis across the country. To them, I seem like a normal young lady adjusting to country life out of the big city. Well, you can take the girl out of the leather and latex, but you just can't take the leather and latex out of the girl.

A Story -- Two days ago, my boss was looking around the wharehouse and said to me..."do you know where we could get any rubber curtains?" I thought for a moment and said, "yes." My other coworker who seems to sense dymion and I may not be all as we seem just started laughing. Of course, they were seeking the curtains that protect a walk-freezer or lab type atmosphere, but for the rest of the day I was envisioning my dream dungeon...Yes, the mind wandered...

Once tied to the chair by his arms and ankles so he coulnd't get away, dymion would be rolled through the black rubber curtains. To his amazement he would find himself surrounded by toys, furniture, soft rugs on the floor, candles, and an arsenal of crops, whips, canes, and so much more. One short look around would end quickly with a blindfold and then the fun would begin. After being release from the chair temporarily, I would ask him to strip his clothes completely off and stand in the middle of the room to wait for me. He would hear me circle him occasionally making noices with my flogger or bullwhip. I would smoke and occasional blow the smoke in his eyes and mouth so he could inhale my essence and long for me. I would kiss his forhead and then command him to his knees on the bearskin road. This, of course, is when the camera starts recording. I am not sure what I am going to do, but I certainly want to be able to relive it over and over and over again.

Which brings me to a question... if dymion and I began recording some of our scenes... would you, our readers, like to watch? We wouldn't show our faces, but we could share our actions, our reactions, and the loving care that we give to one another. Possibly ideas for young couples who may learn you can love one another even in these unique circumstances. Probably would not be too dirty, but it would be real and certainly hot.

Does that interest anyone? Why? What would you hope to find? Kind of curious... dymion and I often talk about it... about sharing our life at another level entirely, even if there would still be an element of anonymity. We would love to hear from you.

Of candles and clothespins (E)

Image courtesy of Thumper's Portfolio, found through http://dishevelleddomina.tumblr.com/

Locked leather collar on... wrists locked and clipped in leather cuffs... same for the ankles... blindfold on... lying on my back on the bed... my Goddess leaves me for a few moments to rummage through our toys.

The rapid descent into subspace began the second my Goddess asked for the bondage gear. Each new piece she put on me, locked, and clipped brought me down another flight of stairs into the depths of subspace. And then there's the wait. The delicious anxiety and excitement of the wait. What is she in the mood for? What is she looking for? What will she come back with? What plans does she have for her pet?

My Goddess returned to my side, sat on my mid-section facing toward my legs, and began some CBT. Those nails... god I love those nails... scratching, digging, and cutting into me. I can't avoid reacting. I am slammed by the dominant vibe coming from my Goddess having fun hurting me.

She stops for an instant. And then I feel her fingers pinching a fold of skin. As she lets go, I start feeling the pressure of what can only be a clothespin. It's not all that unpleasant at the beginning, but rapidly the sensation becomes increasingly sharp. I soon forget about the first clothespin as the second is applied in the same manner. And a third. And more. I lose count...

Around the testicules, along my shaft, my Goddess has fun finding sensitive areas that induces a reaction she would enjoy. The clothespins may be creating a pretty pattern, or not, I have no idea. But I could feel her enjoyment to my vulnerablity and my reactions and the sounds I made, even without a word.being spoken on either side.

After a little while of my Goddess combining CBT and clothespin art, suddenly, she stops. No more nails, no more clothespins, no more tugging on the clothespins. Silence. Numbness. Sharpness. And then, she begins to remove the clothespins. One-by-one. And each one coming off creates a searing sensations that, despite the bondage, has my hips come off the bed. She loves it. The air is permeated with the fragrance of her dominance. Her inner sadist was out and having a great time.

After the last clothespin comes off, my Goddess gets off my mid-section, and I hear her flick a lighter. Maybe 10-15 seconds later, I fell her lean over me. No smoking happening. By the time I made the realization that she wasn't smoking, I fell the first drop of wax crash against my chest.

She had been dying to do some wax play for weeks, and the opportunity and time had not come up. Now was an opportune time. My Goddess moves the candle around, dropping wax in an area that ranged from the upper chest and shoulders down to the bottom of the rib cage. Of course, the highlight moments were the hits on, or close to, the nipples. I get shudders now just recalling the intense sensation of a direct hit on one of the nipples. And it seemed to me that the wax from that candle melted especially hot.

The impact of the heat almost makes it feel like the wax continues to sink below the skin before it cools off and solidifies. It is a sharp, deep sensation that reverberates through my body as it becomes duller in its epicenter. As with the clothepins, my mind doesn't move off the searing pain because the latter dissipates, but because there's another drop that hits a few seconds later. And another one.

Wax play is always very special in its own way. Under the skillful hands and devious mind of my Goddess, it's an activity that inevitably brings me into what I've called before the Nexus, a terribly wonderful point at which I don't know if I can take any more, but I so don't want it to stop. And she is just so adept at taking me there. She loves taking me there. I say that because I can feel how much fun she has taking me there.

Shortly after blowing out the candle, my Goddess removes my blindfold, unclips the cuffs and removes some of the larger chunks of wax that had formed. But that minute or so was enough downtime. During all this play, my Goddess had worked herself into a frenzy of sexual excitement. And she needs me to quench her hunger. So as quickly as I gather my wits about me, coming out of the fog of subspace, I switch from being a passive play toy to an active role of sexual servitude. And so the night went on...

Over the course of the next few days, I kept finding more wax on my body, despite my best efforts to catch all of it before getting into the shower the morning after. Wax play is always messy. No matter how careful you try to be, you always keep finding little bits of wax on yourself for a few days, and around your play area for a few weeks. But each time I find another little piece of wax somewhere, I can't help but to smile, and recall the sensations and the imagery of those extraordinarily intense, but fleeting, moments spent in the dominant loving care of my Goddess.

Image courtesy of femdomtime.com, found again through http://dishevelleddomina.tumblr.com

The freedom not to be free (E)

"I'll keep you", from http://mangademon333.deviantart.com

"... I don't know how these guys do it, and how these women let them do it. I know where he [Endymion] is all the time, and what he's doing."

I overheard this comment from my Goddess to someone very close to us as they caught part of a television show that dealt with cheating.

I thought that was hot. I loved hearing her say that. It was a powerful reminder of our bond of love, our enjoyment of each other's company, our D/s relationship, and of our lifestyle.

I don't have the least interest in being away from my Goddess for any reason. Every moment is happier, more intense, funnier, richer, more enjoyable, and more interesting for sharing it with her. I certainly have no interest in straying... why would I risk what I'd be hoping for all my life? I am deeply in love with her, and uncurably addicted to her. Any time spent doing something without her, never mind time with another woman, would be time away from my Goddess, and that's simply not a good trade-off. It would be a waste of opportunity. The opportunity to spend more time with her.

In addition, between my mainstream collar, which cannot be removed and has clear symbolism once made visible, and the locked ankle cuffs that I am often asked to wear under long pants, there are physical and visual barriers that would take the air out of any attempted adventurous interlude.

I love being hers. I love even more that she loves that I am hers. The control she has over where I am and what I'm doing at anytime is an implicit part of our D/s dynamics, and reinforces them. It isn't done in distrust, but it makes trust implicit and almost 100% verifiable for her, and I see it has a sign of how much she cares. The loss of freedom is insignificant and forgotten in contrast to the gain of sharing and happiness.

Where some might see loss, limits, and constraints, I see the reaching of a dream, two people that can't be away from each other, and an intense flow of feelings of owning and belonging. Now that I am where I've wanted to be all my life, why would I be upset at not having the luxury of leaving it?

The prospect to exploring further and deeper with my Goddess, hand-in-hand on our common journey, is immensely more appealing me than any scenario that would not include her. And that's why not only do I not mind the situation, I think it's really hot.

Desperate for a caning (E)

"Dark Princess" by kassiusgladius, found on Lunar Black

Her... not me. She wanted to play with the cane. No, she was desperate to give me a caning...

I love it when my Goddess is in the mood for the cane. I can't say I ever look forward to a caning per se. It hurts. Sometimes, it really hurts.

Of course, it's unbelievably hot and sexy, in a D/s, BDSM kind of way. But what I really look forward to is to submit to a caning from my Goddess. Once the cuffs have been locked and clipped, or I've been otherwise bound, and she has ordered me into position, I love how her dominance grows as my submissiveness deepens... I love the exchange of energy as I gradually surrender more and more, and she gets increasingly empowered... I love the flow of that uniquely D/s force that surrounds us and overtakes us as the veil of subspace moves over me and as she gets sexually and emotionally excited and turned on by hurting me. Hard or soft... fast or slow... long or short... simply because she's in the mood for it... simply because we wants it... simply because she feels like expressing her power and dominance...

Last week, we had one of those moments. The final click of the locks and clips (the usual collar, wrist cuffs, and ankle cuffs) had barely finished resonating that I was ordered onto the bed on all-fours. A blindfold was added. And in a matter of seconds, the first taps of the hard-plastic violet cane came down on my backside.

The taps didn't last long. We couldn't have gone much beyond double-digits hits before they became bonafide strokes. My Goddess played with me, varying the intensity, throwing some hard stokes in with the gentler ones, and some gentle strokes amidst the hard ones. She could tell when I was bearing down for a crescendo, and surprised me by holding back on some strokes. And then when I was relaxing and getting into a groove, she would come down with a stroke whose swoosh I heard, but only too late, as the velocity of the cane had done its damage. The mindfuckery contributed as much to the experience as did the pain.

My mind started slipping away... drifting... the tether of reality pulling back on it when I received strokes I can only describe as searing . Those strokes came down hard, sharp, lasting, deep. They caused reactions I could no longer control... legs partially straightening as the shock of the impact ran through my body... some forceful exhales... a light sweat breaking on my forehead and over my back. ..

The unpredictable pacing and intensity continued. Somewhere between hits, my Goddess was enjoying the brush strokes on the canvas. Seriously... seriously, is there anything BDSM-hotter than your loving dominant partner cooing at the marks they've inflicted, and how beautiful they'll be the next day? Than feeling the joy and excitement in her voice when she tells you playfully how much she's enjoying the colors and patterns she's painting on your body?

As my own reactions became quite a bit more, well, vocal and physical, my Goddess decided that she was done. She quickly climbed onto the bed, pushed me on my side, caressed me gently for a few moments, and removed the blindfold. But now, she was so excited that she just tossed the cane to the side, grabbed my hair with one hand and the D-ring of my collar with the other, reclined onto her back, and pulled my head into her sacred feminine area.

While she was done with the caning, clearly she was not done yet with me. She had other needs that had come up, and that I was required to meet...