I'm not a huge fan of Fetlife. Several years ago I eventually became a little tired, perhaps even irritated, with it. Too many discussions focusing on definitions again and again. Too many threads started with an agenda of provocation. Too many posts that read like fake and/or bad wank fodder. But I occasionally return to see what's going, even if it may be several months between visits. Despite my complaints, it is certainly unparalleled in scale as a BDSM social network and resource.
Yesterday morning, on one of these occasional visits, a post in one of the well moderated discussion groups I tend to favor, Submissive men and women who love them, struck my fancy. The OP asked: "Tell me what you love the most about being a dominant woman's sub?"
I smiled and began giving a bit of thought to the question. And then I reflected on what I love the most about Goddess Selena's submissive today in contrast to what I loved in our earlier days, the evolution of our relationship, and how our relational dynamics and our activities have evolved over time. Because so much has happened over the time we've been together, impacting so many facets of our lives. The nation’s economic downturn. Geographic relocation. Changes in employment. The significant time demands of our jobs. Significant health issues.
And I decided that I loved the stability and centering that our D/s relationship has given us. While the frequency and duration of our formal playtime and BDSM games have always been susceptible to the overall time we have together and the energy we have at those moments, I feel that the spirit of the commitment we made to each other at the time of Goddess Selena collaring me has never wavered. In part because of our caring and love for each other both through our respective D/s roles, and regardless of those roles. And in part because of the daily rituals, and their related activities, we have come to cherish so much. To quote one of my favorite Ferns expressions, these rituals and activities have been continually "close-making."
So this post gave me a warm feeling over the course of a few minutes of introspection. And it reminded me of the Glenda Cloud quote “Change is inevitable. Growth is intentional.”
And as to the original Fetlife post, with much satisfaction I replied:
What I love the most about being Goddess Selena's submissive? I can't really bring myself to give just one thing. It wouldn't do justice to what makes me so happy about being her submissive. With that disclaimer out of the way...
1- Being the focus of attention of a beautiful, sexy, smart, and dominant woman.
2- Making the life of someone I love and serve better.
3- Belonging to her... the warm feeling of being her boy, pet, play toy.
4- The nature of the daily banter between a witty dominant woman and her submissive.
5- The daily rituals we have that reinforce our D/s relational dynamics.
6- Being the object of her dominant and sexual desires.
7- Being with someone who appreciates, respects, and loves me as I am and for whom I am.
8- The rush of the tension and dynamics of a relationship where power exchange plays a big part.
9- Knowing that she finds her own enjoyment in the physical, mental, and emotional sensations she gives me.
