Rituals and symbolic gestures (E)

Image courtesy of Cuckold Chronicle via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

I always find it fascinating to observe, and reflect on, the evolution of rituals and symbolic gestures in D/s relationships. From actions that begin rather innocently and become daily or weekly protocols, to things are given a significant amount of forethought and implemented as definitive symbols of domination or submission, D/s rituals and symbolism have inevitably evolve over time.

I look back with much pride and delight on what has come to be since Goddess Selena collared me several years back. The deepening of our relationship and interactions has been reflected in the D/s rituals, protocols, and habits we have developed. These actions, gestures, behaviors, and overall D/s dynamics have also helped keep us grounded through the vagaries of everyday life, in addition to providing us very enjoyable time with each other.

Image courtesy of Lunar Black - Desire for Submission and More...

So here is a list that I would describe as a dozen of our most significant rituals and symbols of Goddess Selena’s dominance over me, and my submission to her.

1- I wear an Eternity Collar 24/7/365. Goddess Selena retains the special tools for it (which she tells me she lost), and for all practical purposes, it can only be eventually removed if/when she decides it.

2- Goddess Selena places and locks an additional collar around my neck whenever I come back home from the outside world, and it does not come off until I must leave her presence again.

3- On any morning that we have time for it, "Coffee & Clamps!" is how we start the day. I must prepare and serve Goddess Selena her coffee (and refills), and I must be wearing nipple clamps until she is done with her morning coffee. I must also be leashed so she can keep me close by while she enjoys her coffee(s) and cigarette(s). The “Coffee & Clamps!” ritual usually does not end until her third coffee of the morning, and the nipple clamps only come off then.

4- I must be on the floor at Goddess Selena’s feet, holding an ashtray, any time she wants to smoke.

5- Any time I greet my Goddess (i.e.: when she wakes up in the morning or when I return from work), I must kneel before her and kiss each of her feet in an adoring manner.

6- On any morning that there is an expectation that Goddess Selena will sleep in later than me (which is the case most of the time), I must wear have the long house leash locked to my leather or rubber collar (whichever one she locked around my neck previously) so she knows I remain in the house. She will tug on the leash when she wakes up, pulling me in to her and letting me know she is ready for our “Coffee & Clamps!” ritual.

7- At her whim, when we have time to watch some of her favorite TV shows together, she will place me in bondage and use me as furniture for the duration of the evening. Usually, I while remain in bondage through the night’s sleep.

8- When at home, I must fetch, prepare, and serve all drinks, meals, and snacks for Goddess Selena. I remain at her beck and call for anything else she may require at any time.

9- Once Goddess Selena has locked a second collar (in additional to the permanent Eternity Collar) around my neck upon my return from the outside world, she keeps the keys, and only she can unlock/remove the collar, at the time of her choosing. This means that if the weather is right, I may have to run errands outside the house for her with the locked collar hidden under appropriate clothing.

10- The location of my Smart Phone can be tracked by Goddess Selena through a provider-based GPS system at all times. She can verify and keep track of my location at any time, and if necessary, I must account for my movements to her at any time if I did not warn her beforehand.

11- I must submit to Goddess Selena’s sexual and dominant needs at any time.

12- My own sexual/submissive needs are only met at the convenience and whims of Goddess Selena. This includes not ever providing myself pleasure until/unless she tells me.

Image courtesy of My Private F.

I will be interesting to see how these rituals, protocols, and habits will change over time. This post is as much an opportunity for benchmarking and looking back in the future as it is about thinking about where we are at the present time. Perhaps in a year, there will be another post, starting off with a link to this entry, talking about what else we have added to what we do each day as part of our D/s relational dynamics.

Image found on Thy Shall Love Thy Mistress, original source is uncertain.

Of collars and bondage, and ownership and belonging (E)

"Dominate Your Man Today" by Horus-Goddess

Over the weekend, 36 uninterrupted hours of wearing the locked leather collar... around the home, and on two errands outside the home. I intoxincatingly belonged to my Goddess...

An evening with my wrists and ankles bound, entertaining my Goddess... playing board games, watching television, doing whatever little thing she required of me. And after all the time we've been together, My Goddess' mischevious smile and her sense of enjoyment watching me hobble around the house has never diminished...

I spent overnight sleeping in bondage next to my Goddess... Limited in my movements, which inevitably kept me in various positions of contact with her. Couldn't get away... Didn't want to get away...

This morning, my Goddess removed my leather collar and the four locked cuffs before leaving for work, she told me she expected the house to be straightened out and significantly neater when she returned. Nothing makes cleaning up around the house as enjoyable as when my Goddess is expecting it, and will notice it.

As a side note, the arrival of the cooler weather is delightfully promising of more frequent, but discreet, outdoors kinky play. Jackets, fleeces, and sweaters are great to hide the locked leather collar during daytime errands or excursions with my Goddess; occasionally, the locked wrist cuffs may also be on. The return of long pants will have my Goddess locking ankle cuffs before I leave for work.

The warmth under the leather. The texture and the firmness of the leather. The ungiving of the secure locks. The restraints of the clips and ties. Sensuality... exchange of power... dominance and submission... vulnerability and trust... control, and surrender... belonging and ownership... Each from our particular position, we so enjoy these little moments full of symbolism and excitement.

Symbolic objects: old ones and those to come (E)

Queen of Block Chairs, Lordess of Rusty Spoons, via Lunar Black

Last December, my Goddess locked a steel chain with a nickel plated padlock around my neck, and it has only come off three times since, for a total of perhaps 2-3 hours. Special circumstances, like going through airport metal detectors, warranted the temporary removal of what we referred to as my "mainstream collar", but it never came off otherwise. The fact that she retains all the keys to the padlock means that only she has been able to remove it, and if I'm not with her, I have no way to take it off. Which one day led to an interesting adventure when I had to access a local county courthouse...
The reason that I bring this up is that, to our great sadness, the mainstream collar will soon be coming to the end of its useful life. The constant contact with my skin has caused part of the nickel plating on one side of padlock to corrode away, and the finish of the chain has become dull and increasingly difficult to keep clean.

Granted, it wasn't made of materials made for constant wear. It wasn't very expensive, and in retrospect, I think we're both surprise it has lasted almost nine months. It has certainly done it's job, providing a secure and most sturdy alternative to the beautiful but delicate collar my Goddess chose to officially collar me with earlier that year.

Cuffs of Love (shown as a bracelet; mine has a longer purple string to be used as a necklace/collar)

This very first collar of ours, monogrammed with our initials, was a gorgeous piece, but it had started to show some wear, something that bothered us both on such a beautiful piece. It also presented a problem in principle since it would be removed for showering, for working out, and for sleep. The D-rings on the locking leather that my Goddess locks on me every night made us nervous with every ping of the impeccably polished miniature handcuffs' surfaces.

The answer was the locking chain and padlock. We had no worries of how it would fare under chemical or physical attack. Impossible for me to remove, it has symbolized my Goddess' control over me. The strength of the chain and the padlock itself has smbolized her ownership of me. Its ever-presence has symbolized the strength, importance, and 24/7 nature of our D/s dynamics. It has been visual reminder to both of us of our relationship and our love for each other. It has served as fetish prop as my Goddess has more than once grabbed it to pull me close to her both during play and at any time of the day she wanted. It has also served as a display of her dominance in public as she has been in the habit of playing with the chain during munches, leaving the padlock exposed for all to see as it was left resting outside my shirt.

Related to this last point, one of the benefits of the steel chain and padlock as a permanent collar was that, for the most part, it was discrete enough to wear in public without getting any attention, with the padlock under a T-shirt, and the chain normally well covered by a shirt.

I must also mention that both my Goddess and I have been incredibly turned on hearing the metal of mainstream collar clang against the D-rings of the leather collar I wear when at home, during play activities, sexual servitude, or lovemaking.

So here we arrive at a point when, over the course of the next few days or weeks, the chain and padlock will be retired in favor of an alternative of my Goddess' choice. The options are many. Perhaps another chain, or ring, with a padlock. Or without padlock. Perhaps something simple with a quasi-permanent locking feature. Perhaps an eternity collar.

Be that as it may, it marks an exciting moment for both us. We're moving on to our third mainstream collar... that's a special kind of tangible time-frame. Forever this steel collar and chain and padlock will be associated with memories and sentiments and experiences and emotions and togetherness, and so will the new item in the future.

Will my Goddess decide to up the ante and go with something more subtly severe? Something simply different? Or something different altogether. It's exciting to think of what may come... of the new object that will be associated with a new set of Proustian remembrances. And the reinforcement of the symbolism that it too will hold. Definitively a story to be continued...

Daily collaring (E)

Artwork courtesy of Razriel, via Lunar Black and http://deviantart.net/

I wait on my knees next to the bed. I hold my locking leather collar, ready to hand it over to my Goddess. The lock and the key lie on her bedside table.

She walks in, climbs onto the bed and turns toward me. A gentle smile comes to her beautiful face. Her eyes twinkle.

My Goddess takes the collar, and waits for me to lay my head on her lap. She wraps the collar around my neck. She buckles it. She reaches for the lock, hooks it through the locking buckle, and clicks it shut. She moves the key out of sight.

Her hands come down to the sides of my head. She lifts my head as I raise it up. She doesn't let go. There's quiet beauty, tranquility, and peace in her gaze. Tenderly we kiss.

We've been waiting all day for this moment. My Goddess misses seeing my leather collar on me when I don't have it on. I miss its physical presence and the unique tactile sensations of wearing it. We both feel its significance when I'm wearing it, and we both feel that something important is missing in our lives when I'm not.

The placing of the collar for the evening, and for the night... A protocol of great depth and significance for us. Beyond any other.

And no matter what else might be going on in our life, everything is made right again by the two of us sharing of this beautiful, solemn, and powerful daily ritual once more.

The power and intimacy of the strap-on: early writings (E)

Despite the fact that our strap-on play has kept getting more amazing, more powerful, and more intimate with each experience, I've always felt that this early text, dating from before the start of this blog, was one of my best efforts at trying to describe and express what "the strap-on experience" was for me.

Strap-on play has always represented one of the ultimate symbolic scenes of submitting to a dominant woman for me. An incredible visual of power exchange and surrender, there are few acts that represent dominance and submission for me, even within BDSM, like the taking of a male submissive by a dominant woman.

The intimacy and the D/s significance of fulfilling this particular fantasy made it so that this was something I wasn't sure I would ever experience, and frankly, was pretty sure I wouldn't want to share with anybody that wasn't someone that I had an absolutely extraordinary connection with.

As it should have become apparent by now, I have found that extraordinary connection, that extraordinary dominant in my sublime Goddess Selena. My lover, my friend, my domme, my soulmate, my One, it was but a matter of time before our relationship, and our menu of play, would lead to this ultimate act of submission to her.

Several weeks back, we had our first strap-on scene, and it was everything I could have ever imagined... and more. The power of our D/s relationship, and the depth of our R/L relationship, the trust between us, our level of intimacy, just made it so right that I would offer this to her, and that she would be the one, the only one ever, to take me.

We replayed the strap-on scene several times since, always in combination with other BDSM elements leading up to it, including one or more of the following: nipple play, paddling, bondage, smoke play, smothering, and wax play. I have never had a scene with her that wasn't absolutely mind-blowing, and that didn't bring me into deep, deep subspace, a tribute to her skills and abilities as a dominant woman, her enjoyment of her role as my domme, and a reflection of her caring and understanding of me. I have never had a scene that finished with strap-on play that wasn't simply one of those scenes that, if I were to never engage in BDSM play ever again, it would be the fulfillment and experience of a lifetime.

But our most recent scene together, our last evening together before she embarks on some travel for a while, was absolutely spectacular, and one of the greatest experiences of my life. And she has shared with me how much she enjoyed it too, how much it has meant to her.

We had started off the evening in our usual way, with Selena putting leather wrist and ankle cuffs on me, locking them, and placing my collar on, and locking it too. After clipping my wrists together, and doing the same to my ankles, my Goddess looked me over with a delightfully possessive sense of satisfaction. We then played a few rounds of Scrabble to decompress from our day at work, one of our favorite rituals. While in bondage and reflecting on my next word play, my Goddess took advantage of my position on the floor to come over, lie on top of my back, and she started to torture my nipples. This is one of our favorite positions as I'm quite helpless to stop her from doing pretty much anything she wants, at whatever intensity she wants.

Very quickly, even pushing my limits of what I endure for her, this play was not enough for her. My Goddess turned me over, sat on my hips, and resumed torturing my nipples by pinching, poking, pinching some more, caressing, and pinching yet some more, each time harder, until she came to climax. I cannot overstate the incredible flow of energy that moves between us as she causes such erotic and intoxicating pain in me and her enjoyment of my reactions to it. Is there anything so intoxicatingly erotic and powerful for a submissive as the sadistic enjoyment to the point of pleasure of one's Dominant?

Next came the blindfold. Being very sensitive to the stimulation of the senses, the placing of the blindfold is always an intense moment for me. The cliche of all the other senses being augmented is very much true in my case. Then, in the mood for retaliation and a little extra cruelty resulting from recent events, my Goddess placed a large leather gag in my mouth, something she doesn't do very often since she so enjoys the sounds I make under her dominant, loving, and not-always-tender care.

She then did something especially evil... she lit a cigarette. She knows how much I enjoy sharing smoking with her, and I do smoke almost only with her. This was both gentle and cruel torture to feel her there, enjoying smoking without me. The vision of her smoking I had in my mind, and the smell of her smoking next to me were quite overwhelming. She did add a little cigarette torture to my nipples, and the intense heat ran through my entire body each time she would do it, leading to those moments I refer to as reaching the Nexus, one of those incredible moments of total connection between my Goddess and me when I get to the point where I can't take anymore, but I don't want her to stop for anything in the world.

Finished with her cigarette, she turned me around, and clipped my collar to a leash that she had fixed to the bottom hinge of a door in our playroom. She added a little bit of paddling to our play, and since she's quite strong, I really felt it, even if she did not continue for very long. Obviously, she had other things in mind.

I could hear my Goddess shake some lotion onto her hand to lubricate her fingers, and in a matter of seconds, she was at work preparing me for what was to come, reaching deep into me, exploring, teasing, tormenting, and just overstimulating me from the inside.

A few seconds went by... Maybe a minute or two. While in retrospect, I now know my Goddess put on the strap-on at that point, I was too lost into subspace to notice or realize what she was doing.

She untied the leash from the door, reclipped the leash to my collar, and as I was, in cuffs, collar, blindfolded, and gagged, she led me on all fours from our playroom to the bedroom. My Goddess walked slowly enough for me to keep my head close to her right leg the whole time.

Once in the bedroom, she led me to the bed, and ordered me to climb onto it. With what little focus I could gather, I positioned myself appropriately, and my Goddess finetuned my position gently but firmly. And then it began... She slowly and gently pushed her strap-on inside me, little bit by little bit. Back and forth she went, gently, getting it a little deeper each time. Within just a minute or two, my Goddess had reached as far in as she could, enjoying all of my reactions, all of the sounds I made, each of them satisfying her and encouraging her on to more. She continued with small movements, thrusting further and pulling back repeatedly but not completely, making the movements larger in amplitude as I was reacting more intensely to her. Then she started increasing the speed with which she was doing this. And then she started to increase the power with which she was doing it. And then she did more of it... faster and harder than she ever had. And she made it last... longer than she ever had.

While we had had strap-on scenes before, and had had very intense and satisfying experiences doing them, the positioning on the bed, perhaps with the contribution of other factors, such as the change of room, the preceding activities, and the fact that this would be our last playtime for a while, made this scene even more incredibly powerful, intense, and yet intimate, than we had ever experienced before. The flow of energy from our power exchange was overwhelming. The sensation of surrender was overwhelming. The intensity with which she was taking me was overwhelming... she had never yet done it so forcefully or for so long. The closeness and intimacy of the whole scene was overwhelming. I was totally lost into my Goddess as she had reached deep into me, physically and mentally.

If I thought that our previous strap-on scenes had been exceptional, and had more than done justice to my vision of them as ultimate expressions of dominance and submission, that evening, we reached new highs... and new depths... and we have both been talking about it ever since...

A night in bondage (E)

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