Recent purchases - 1 (E)

New Eternity Collar and new locking leather collar

There are few things in life that are as exciting for kink-oriented folks as getting new toys to play with and new items to fetish-obsess over. We might have had a long blogging hiatus these past few months, but we were definitely adding to our collection during that time.

My ever-present Eternity Collar, locked around my neck for all of the past two-and-a-half years, except for maybe a total of 72 hours (airports and occasional high-security checks, and out-patient surgery), was starting to show some wear.

Old Eternity Collar (and a pretty rigid 2" locking leather collar)

Not structurally, of course… Stainless steel is pretty sturdy against human flesh.  But the black coating finish on my Phantom Eternity Collar (seen above), started chipping against the daily impact of locks, rings, and leashes.  While neither one us could be disappointed since we had put the metal collar through a lot in well over two years, the increasingly numerous aesthetic flaws eventually got Goddess Selena in the mood for a new Eternity Collar, and she wanted to get me one that might grow old a little more gracefully.  So back to the Eternity Collars site we went, and she chose a collar from their Vivid line. Beyond the frosted metallic effect, which is very cool, this collar looked like it could take some slight dings over time and not show them so readily.

New "Vivid" Eternity Collar

Goddess Selena seems quite pleased with the purchase, and the change of scenery.  And now with the new Eternity Collar and the old one, I guess this would give her the option, when she feels especially controlling, to temporarily lock on the older one too on certain outings when a locking leather collar might not be appropriate.  I'm sure she would enjoy the control of knowing the heavier and more restrictive feel around my neck, and that she would get excited hearing the occasional ringing sounds of the two steel collars moving against each other.  She so loves hearing metal pieces cling together when I’m in bondage...

New locking leather collar (back view of the same collar shown in the first picture of this post)

Speaking of wear… when used every day, even the best leather collars will start to show their age in time.  We have found out that with daily use in the evening and overnight, and nearly around the clock on weekends and on days off, a great quality leather collar will last nearly two years before stretch or texture or material or skin issues come up.  So it was time for a new locking leather collar too.  We came across an absolutely splendid collar on an eBay store called Goth Fashions, and it had all the elements that Goddess Selena likes to see in my collars.  It has three layers of leather, including a finished inner layer, three large D-rings, and of course, it locks.  This is by far the heaviest collar I have ever worn on a regular basis, and at 2.5", also the widest.  And it has been an absolute D/s thrill.  Where most of my previous collars were subtle reminders of my submission to Goddess Selena (unless she was tugging on them or an attached leash), this collar is a blunt and powerful presence reflecting my D/s commitment to Goddess Selena.  It is heftily and dominantly there every minute of that it's locked on me, a very tangible physical extension of Goddess Selena’s control.  I feel it all the time, and that is totally intoxicating, in a D/s kind of way.

And just to close out this post, one of my favorite pictures of Goddess Selena pulling me in (older locking leather collar).

It's the little things... (E)

Image courtesy of S.I.N. via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

The little things in a relationship really do matter. There's a quote that goes something like "It's not what you say, it's not even what you do, it's how you make people feel that matters." And that's just so true in the relationship Goddess Selena and I share.

The feeling of warmth, affection, love, caring, positive co-dependence, loyalty, trust, and D/s permeates every aspect of our relationship, and every thought that I have involving my beloved Goddess. The nature of this blog being what it is, I won't bore you all with mushy stuff, but I thought I would take a few minutes to share a few of the little things (D/s oriented) that in their own way represent and define our dynamics.

I am presently away on a 4-day 3-night road trip. Like usual, Goddess Selena expects updates of what I'm doing and where I am at all times. She can also check on my location, providing her an idea of what I'm likely to be doing, through the tracking service that locks on to the position of my smart phone. It makes me feel special that she cares that much about what I'm up to, and that she wants to stay in touch throughout the day. Of course, the D/s control and ownership thing is really hot too. Done within a loving and trusting relationship, it makes me feel warm, wanted, cared for, and loved. And submissive and owned.

Image courtesy of the always stunning Mistress Eleise de Lacy via Femdom-SM

The latter is reinforced by the fact that my Goddess still expects me to wear a collar, in addition to my permanent Eternity Collar, at all times I'm in my hotel room. As a reminder. And I must text or call her for permission to remove it if/when I need to leave the room. The asking for permission and the granting of the permission at a distance of several hundred miles is a wonderfully powerful exercise of her dominance over me, and a demonstration of my submission to her. Our relationship is always switched on, even when far away from each other, and our D/s dynamics are always in play.

Our lives are full of rituals that are made up of little things. "Coffee and Clamps!" on mornings when neither one of us works, or will be going into work later. I'll be sitting at her feet regularly throughout the day (and at all times she smokes... I'm required to hold her ashtray from that position) when we stay at home. I'll be in bondage close to her, and often serve as furniture, when we have quiet time watching television for a stretch. I'll be in a submissive and controlled position when we go to bed, with or without bondage. I'll present myself for her to place and lock a leather collar around my neck any time I return home, and submissively ask her to remove it before I leave.

The expectations of my domestic duties. The kissing her feet daily. The caning/paddling/flogging I receive after we play competitive board games, one of our favorite hobbies; even when I win, she has a reason to have a go at my backside, and if I lose, well, she'll definitely be having fun. The painting of her toe nails on the weekends. The dynamics of our decision-making... she wants to know what I think and what I suggest we do, but the final decision is always hers alone to make.

Artwork courtesy of Fluffy Bunny Domination

And then there's the wonderfully random stuff. Goddess Selena smoking provocatively when we're on our traditional Skype call each night I'm on a road trip. Teasing dominant texts out-of-the-blue. Nipple torture... all of a sudden... just because. Ink or Sharpie markings of D/s and/or love on my back when the mood strikes her.

Don't get me wrong... The big "official" scenes are fantastic. Protracted scenes with any combination of caning, paddling, flogging, hot wax, clothespins, strap-on play, heavy nipple torture, sharp objects, significant bondage and restraint, breath play, sexual servitude, and more, always take me into a state of deep subspace that I yearn to return to time and time again. Unless I'm still physically sore from the previous scene, I can never get enough of them. I think about these scenes often. Maybe even too much.

Image courtesy of Cybill Troy via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

But it's the continual warmth and glow of the little things that stays with me at all times, literally every moment of the day and night. They are the constant reminder of the beauty of our relationship, of the continual psychic touch of the other, of the strong yet flexible ties that bind us, and of the feelings that really matter.

Artwork courtesy of Fluffy Bunny Domination

Power exchange and control: Leashed overnight (E)

Image courtesy of leplumeau via Anais and le Ninja diaries

After an unexpected day off from work that included our beloved "Coffee & Clamps!" morning ritual, a full day of leash play, painting my Goddess’ toe nails (a dark, sparkly purple), much foot kissing, lots of time spent at her feet (with or without holding an ashtray for her), and preparing her meals and getting her beverages and other assorted domestic duties, Goddess Selena decided that I should be kept locked to the leash overnight.

Image courtesy of Devotion, passion and sensuality via An Addiction to Submission

I had a small wave off subspace wash over me as she looked into my eyes with a sense of power and satisfaction. I always get that thrilling wave of subspace come over me whenever my Goddess expresses her dominance overtly, however big or small the gesture or the action. It may be a simple of a snap of her fingers and her pointing to her feet, indicating that she wants to smoke and I have to assume a position holding the ashtray while at her feet, or sending me out of the house for errands ignoring the fact that my locked leather collar is still on. In this particular instance, leaving my leash locked to my locked leather collar overnight, the power exchange elements were symbolically ownership and control, and the physical manifestations would be that she would know exactly where I was going to be overnight and in the morning until she woke up. I was not going to venture out of the house at any time, I was going to be relatively nearby at all times (this leash is a 50’ x 1/8” steel cable), and she was going to reel me in to her to tell me that she was up and ready for “Coffee & Clamps!” in the morning.

Image courtesy of Young Goddess (now closed) via Femdom Resource

As I drifted into sleep, laying on my front and positioned diagonally across the bed so that Goddess Selena could put up one leg over my legs and her other leg over my lower back, her favorite sleeping position and a very controlling one at that, I had mental flashbacks to two great articles or posts I had read recently. The first thing that popped into my head as I closed my eyes and the subspace subsided, was just a fragment: “…men are fetishists, and women are into power exchange.” This quote comes from a splendidly thoughtful article Why Do Men Crave Bondage? written by Dalton Ott. Of course, the quote I extracted does not do justice to the piece, and it is not even the central focus of the piece. But it definitely captured some essence of the moment, and indeed the whole preceding day.

On a side note, I am quite sure I will address and comment on Mr. Ott’s powerful article in a post in the future. In the meantime, if you take a look at it, be forewarned that the stunningly beautiful photographs of extreme bondage will not be to everyone’s taste, and may be too much for some.

The other thought fragments that popped into my mind as I relaxed into the helplessness of both the sleeping position and the limited range of movement I would have in the morning (and likely through most of the next day) were from a blog post by one of my favorite bloggers, Aarkey. In a recent post, Identity - Part 1 - Myers-Briggs, Aarkey commented that “I learned to find that powerless pretty hot too…” He later continued: “A set of established rules, rituals, protocols - it helps manage expectations, and for me, that makes life much clearer and easier.”

Image courtesy of Alles was ich liebe via  An Addiction to Submission

Now, as I write these words before returning to my domestic duties while Goddess Selena is still sleeping, I have that warm, subspacey feeling of my Goddess’ control as the leash is limiting my movement options, and making the presence of my locked leather collar even more evident than usual. I have visual and emotional flashbacks of those little gestures and actions mentioned previously (and for some reason, right now, of Goddess Selena grabbing my hair and pulling my head back to press her lips against mine and shotgunning smoke into my mouth and lungs). And I have the anticipation of another wonderful day of domination and submission, but also a day full of love and caring, and humor, and wit, and just generally sharing life with my soul mate.

Image courtesy of he stoops to worship via An Addiction to Submission

Retiring a collar (E)

With much sadness, my Goddess and I retired the locking heavy rubber collar this past week. Purchased six months ago, it had seen fairly heavy use as one of two collars in rotation since that time. The “clanky” collar, as she called it, had become her choice about half the time as she loved the noise it made from the four large double-rings that rang against each other and against my permanently affixed Eternity Collar with any movement I made.

I rapidly became quite fond of it as well as the 2” width and its rigidity made it feel more severe than the leather collars. More severe meant that I definitely felt my Goddess’ dominance and control more explicitly and forcefully when she chose this collar over the others, and it created in me a deeper sense of submission and being owned.

We were forced to retire it as the slit that was used for the locking buckle split completely open, making it unusable. Using the next slit would make it far too tight to be used safely.

The advantage of heavy rubber collars over leather ones is that they are very low maintenance and exceedingly easy to clean and keep fresh, important considerations for us as my Goddess keeps a collar locked on me roughly 10-12 hours a day on work days, and around the clock on non-work days. Exceptions to the latter are only afforded for outings in public and working out.

Their disadvantages are that they can pick-up a bit of a smell if not cleaned on a regular basis, they wear out more readily, and they can/eventually break. Good quality leather collars will stretch out with wear, and they do require upkeep, but they will last for a very long time (years) with a bit of care.

We are certainly not disappointed with having purchased it earlier this year. And I would not be surprised to find another one in our lives in the future. For now, the locking purple leather collar will become the daily mainstay, with an older all-black locking leather collar serving as an occasional alternate, while my Goddess decides on our next collar purchase.

Public display of ownership (E)

Image courtesy of Slaves of the Goddess

Yesterday, my Goddess took the opportunity to display her ownership of me in public in a subtle manner that left me a bit submissively tingly all over, as much over how she did it as the unexpected way in which it came up.

One of the side effects of wearing my Eternity Collar since my Goddess first locked it around my neck over one-and-a-half year ago is that it sets off theft detection devices in many stores. No, don’t worry about seeing me behind bars anytime soon. I set off the detection devices walking into, as well as walking out of, the stores. On the way into stores, it normally elicits a look of surprise on the faces of staff at registers or near entrances, to which I normally respond by raising my hands and shoulders up in the air and providing an expression of “I have no idea why it did that.” On the way out of stores, the alarm going off usually means a trip back to the register for staff to re-swipe some of my purchases, occasionally emptying my pockets, and trying my best to look innocent. Often this is followed by a piece of advice from staff that most likely I’m wearing a piece of clothing that still has its original anti-theft tag.

Yesterday, after a wonderful romantic lunch together, My Goddess and I spent the afternoon doing some shopping in a nearby town. One of our stops was a favorite large bookstore, where we spent about 45 minutes. Yes, I set-off the alarm on the way in. When that happened, I looked in the direction of the young woman at one of the sales registers (she was the only staff in that area), threw up my hands, and we both shared a quizzical look on our faces at a distance of about 7-8 yards. My Goddess, who had gone in a few steps ahead of me, which she always does when we expect I’ll trigger the alarm, looked at me with her usual knowing smile, and we went about our business.

Once we were done with our browsing, and we had finalized our selection, we headed off to pay. The same young woman that we had made eye contact with at the entrance was manning the only sales register available. She was perhaps early to mid-20s in age. She was very pretty, wore glasses, had multiple facial and ear piercings, and had a significant number of tattoos. My Goddess and I exchanged pleasantries with her as she processed the purchases and payment. And then, as we were about to leave, to prepare for the inevitable, I reminded her that I was the one who set-off the alarm on my way in, so I was likely to trigger it again on my way out. I apologized in advance, and told her that I seemed to have that effect on their theft detection device. The young woman said that sometimes such things happened, and provided me with the theory of the still hidden clothing tag that had never been removed. My Goddess chimed in that I did set-off alarms in many stores, and that I was kind of special that way.

After a round of laughs to this last comment, unexpectedly, my Goddess reached under the t-shirt and polo shirt I was wearing, exposed my Eternity Collar to the young woman by holding it about half-way up my neck, and said:

“His collar is probably what’s causing it.”

The young woman paused, looked with fascination at my heavy metal collar, and smiled.

Image courtesy of An Addiction to Submission, with the original source possibly being Femdom Empire

The three of us said goodbye, and my Goddess and I headed for the exit. I triggered the alarm as expected, we both turned to the young woman at the register, all three of us smiled, and my Goddess and I finally left the store.

As we walked away, I teased my Goddess on her boldness. She replied, with a big smile, that she just felt like it. I could tell she enjoyed showing-off. Showing off her possession… her pet… her toy… her control… her power…

While neither one of us could be sure the young woman we exchanged with would recognize the Eternity Collar, or know its significance, this very random moment provided both of us with a bit of an exhibitionist thrill. And who knows… maybe it left the young woman at the bookstore with a lasting, knowing smile too.

In a fortuitous bit of coincidence, this noteworthy event happened yesterday just as this is the first weekend in over a month that I have a few moments for a blog post. The timing could not have been more perfect.

Photo of Mistress Mischelle courtesy of Love Thy Mistress

New collar (E)

My new locking rubber collar, with my ever-present Eternity Collar below

My Goddess and I received a new collar for me this week: a superb locking rubber collar, higher and firmer than my usual leather collars. Despite being more rigid and more severe than the leather collars I have worn on a daily basis, it is still surprisingly comfortable, if more restrictive.

My Goddess loved it right away. There is something ironic about how a more imposing collar creates an impression of even greater submission. Upon first seeing it, she admired its more "ornamental" appearance. I think she enjoyed that it did not only serve very functional and symbolic purposes, but it also had a beauty to it, somehow enhancing my submissiveness in how decorative it looked.

She is clearly also quite enamored with the delightful ringing sounds the four attached rings produce with my every movement. My Goddess has "a thing" for watching me, or hearing me, being submissive around the house. Dominant entertainment, I guess...

On my side, I am glad to wear a piece with such symbolism that brings my Goddess enjoyment. Inevitably, this increases even further her sense of dominance and control over me. The latter, of course, makes me feel ever more submissive and subservient to her. The ying-and-yang of ownership and belonging...


Image courtesy of Make Me Yours via Girls Rule, Subs Drool

Since I must always be wearing a locking collar at home, and on some outings when circumstances allow, I know that it will see a fair amount of use. The daily collaring is one of our favorite rituals, and now there is a new collar in the rotation. My Goddess has made me wear the new locking rubber collar ever since it has come in. I know it is not the end of the leather collars, however, since we both love and enjoy them so much.

The purpose of this piece was for me to have a collar that was easier to clean after a long day (or two... or three...) of domestic duties around the house. In fact, I could even take a shower with this thick rubber collar on without needing my Goddess to remove it. We both very much love my locking leather collars, but I always have misgivings about doing heavier work and breaking a sweat while wearing them. And cleaning leather collars can be a tedious process.

Now depending on plans for how I may best serve her, my Goddess can select the collar of her choice, and leave it on me, locked, for as long as she wants. Or until I need to go in to work...



Image courtesy of Under Feet via Girls Rule, Subs Drool

Recap: It's been a while between posts (E)

Image courtesy of Femdom Resource, credited to Strawberry Mistress' Tumblr

As it is usually after the case after a long period of not posting, I am bursting with a smorgasbord of thoughts, visions, and emotions. So here goes...

I would have gone to do some errands this morning, but it wasn't really possible. My Goddess went to bed last night without unlocking the leash she attached to my locked leather collar earlier, keeping me confined (in the best possible way!) to our home, and close to her. Late yesterday afternoon, she had gone for a nap, and being both terribly tired and not feeling too well, she got up just for a short time during the evening, and went back to sleep for good.

It may help to understand that this particular leash is a 50' long, 3/16" thick steel cable that is attached to a brass structure of our bed. Typically, she'll attach it to my ever-present locked leather collar when she goes for a nap and she expects me to be doing some housework, which was the case yesterday.

Here are some posts about the original house leash, adventures in leashing, and about the leash and other rituals.


 - - - - -

Without a doubt, my favorite recent find on Twitter is a very cute and funny clip put up by Miss Ginger Millay:

Shit Girls Say to Dominatrices

Interestingly enough, while I was watching the clip with my Goddess, she told "she's just your style." Not quite sure what my Goddess meant by that, although I guess she was remarking on Miss Ginger's humor and fun enthusiasm.

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Hottest (in a D/s kind of way) conversation of the last month with my Goddess:

In a discussion about money matters last weekend, my Goddess brought a quick end to the back and forth of the talk by interjecting "Oh, that's right... I own you." Well, that did it. Case closed, she wins, and in my momentary pause, I get hit by a little wave of subspace.

 - - - - -

Hottest texts of the last month:

"You're getting tied up tonight!"

I'm still amazed, and delighted, that several years into our relationship, I still get butterflies in my stomach and get all subspacey when she tells me that. And of course, I usually spend the rest of the day suffering from a total loss of focus.

Spending time in bondage in the care of my Goddess, with or without other BDSM activities, always justifies the emotional ramp-up, and reinforces both our D/s dynamics and the lasting imagery/imprint of those moments.

 - - - - -

Back of the topic of leashes, dissatisfied with the cell phone tracking apps we had been using, we upgraded to a monthly service that allows my Goddess to track my every movement... at all times and with great accuracy. In addition, she can load up addresses and days/times of my week's work schedule. Notifications come in to her cell phone if I'm not where I'm supposed to be at those times.

It has been a source of great D/s enjoyment for her... upon her first notification (she hadn't reset the schedule and location when I was out of town at a trade show), she texted me "Oh, I'm going to enjoy this!"

On my side, I'm glad to provide my Goddess with that level of control (and pleasure). I had written a post a while back called The invisible leash in which I talked about the D/s dynamics of the decision to have her be able to track my location 24 hours a day.

It's kind of interesting that, contrary to the normal feelings that may arise in non-D/s relationships, having less freedom and submitting to more control is increasingly appealing to me as our D/s relationship grows over time.

 - - - - -

I so have to clean up our blog's links. It's been so long... a number of links are no longer valid, and I have so many more to add. Be that as it may, I'd like to point out that shortly after this post goes live, I'll add the following photo sites:
Geek Domme
Felm Cyber
Please keep you slave on a leach
Slave in Training

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And finally, an image that could be of me while my Goddess is busy taking a shower, or otherwise busy and needing me out of the way but behaving.

Image courtesy of zzzdragonbdsm via Strawberry Mistress' Tumblr

She wants me home when she wakes up (E)

Image courtesy of FLR - The Future of Relationship via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

So... I had a few errands to run this morning. Since I always wake up quite a bit earlier than my Goddess, the idea was that I would be out of the house and back before she got up. Wearing the locked leather collar would not be an issue this early in the morning in this wet and cold weather.

Two things changed the plans. The first are the bound hands. Last night, before going to sleep, my Goddess asked for some rope, and bound my wrists with a simple 7-coil column tie for the night. The tie was constraining and inescapable, with just enough room to allow for some movement during sleep and to never cut off circulation. Once my wrists were tied, she ordered me into one of her favorite sleeping positions. I was to be on my side facing her, and place my thighs under her knees as she lay on her back. Then, she grabbed the area of rope between my wrists, pulled it over to her chest, and gently fell asleep.

The previous evening, I was placed in a very similar situation but with metal handcuffs instead of rope. Much earlier in the evening, right after dinner, my Goddess had asked for the handcuffs so that I would be bound during our TV watching. She also took the opportunity to use me as furniture. I sat in the corner of the sofa, she lay back against me, and she had me loop my arms around her, so that I had no choice but to hold her and hug her throughout our time watching television. For as long as she wanted. The only interruptions came when she wanted to smoke, at which point I moved to the floor at her feet and held the ashtray. And my Goddess left the handcuffs on for the night's sleep.

This morning, she woke up briefly as I was going to get out of bed. I thought that she would remove the rope keeping my wrists bound, but she told me that we would catch up on errands later. She wanted me here, at home, when she woke up. With that, she fell back to sleep, and I quietly walked away from the bedroom.

So here I am at home, prisoner of my Goddess' love and dominance. My long house leash is attached to my locked leather collar (so that she can tug and pull me in if she needs anything), with my ever-present Eternity Collar below/under, my wrists are tied in a beautiful column tie, and I am catching up to our blog... slowly. The tightness of the column tie only allows me to type with one hand. You probably have no idea how challenging it is to select text for cut-and-paste into Word for final spell-checking (I find Blogger's annoying), or for hyperlinking with just one hand, unless you've been placed in that predicament. Just opening the laptop was a bit of a challenge (fingers only on one side until I could open the laptop far enough to wedge my left elbow to leverage the top and bottom open.)

I will try to do more productive things around the house, but the range of things I can do is rather limited. Even taking down my underwear and pulling them back on after using the toilet is a mini-ordeal. Try pulling up the back of your underwear with only 1-1.25" between your wrists. Hand-washing dishes is impossible.

I went to wake up my Goddess at her appointed cut-off time, but she decided to sleep-in a little longer, so I ended up another hour in partial bondage. It gave me time to nearly finish this post.

Once my Goddess did get up for our morning ritual, I let her know that I would be unable to present her with her coffee with the nipple clamps (as is the routine) while my wrists were still bound. She looked at me with a wonderfully dominant grin, and decided that was alright. "I'm enjoying my rope" she told me playfully.

I love being in bondage for my Goddess' enjoyment. I love being in her control. I love being her play toy. Of course, part of it is about how it fulfills my need for submission, for my submission to her, for her attention, for my Goddess to express and display her dominance toward me. But even more, I love to make her smile. I love to make her feel that I belong to her. I love to make her feel sexy. I love to give her the opportunity to express and display her dominance. I love to make her feel that I am totally devoted to her. I love to make her feel that I would do anything for her, and do it with all my heart. And this is why we so enjoy anything we do together.

Image courtesy of Femdom Proper via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

PS: If you try the overnight wrist bondage with a column tie, make sure there is sufficient room once you secure the knot in order make sure that it will not cut-off circulation even as the arm positions change during sleep. More coils gives you more flexibility while keeping the tie secure. And if you try going overnight with handcuffs, make sure they have a locking mechanism, otherwise pressure on them may inadvertendly click them too tight, which may affect circulation. Play hard but play safe...

Moment of the day: Etchings of desires (E)

Image courtesy of Cream & Sugar via Disenchanted Lullabies

It's very early in the morning, still dark outside. I've barely been awake for 60, maybe 90 seconds. I walk into the bathroom to start getting ready for the work day. I turn on the light over the mirror. As I wait for my eyes to adapt to the intensity of the light before opening them, I reach over with one hand to the area on the opposite arm just above the wrist. I feel ridges. Five of them. Rope marks... still etching my flesh from having my wrists bound over night. I slowly open my eyes as they are ready for the light. I now see the marks on the arm I am running my fingers over, and on the other arm reaching over. The rope marks are beautiful. I get that familiar feeling of warm-desperate-submissive-clingy-adoration for my Goddess inside me. For just a little while longer I will be able to see and feel the desire and will of my Goddess to make me hers... to keep me as her toy... to control her boy... to dominate her boy...

My Goddess bound my wrists the previous evening, as we sat down to watch television together. She loves using me as furniture as we watch TV, and she particularly enjoys doing that while there is an element of bondage present. In this case, I sat at the corner of the sofa after she bound my wrists together. She sat close against me, reclining on me, and my bound hands over and around her put me in a forced hugging-her-from-behind position for the duration of the time we remained in the living room.

We both so enjoy these moments of closeness, even more so because of the D/s elements added to them.

After a few hours, before we went to bed, my Goddess tightened the column tie for the night, making sure it was tight enough to be secure and inescapable, but not so tight it would cut circulation.

While we slept, I could feel her occasionally grabbing hold of the binding, pulling it close to her, simultaneously symbolically stating "Mine!", and reminding me I was under her control and that I couldn't go anywhere without her letting me go. And that's a feeling that I keep with me all the time...

Image courtesy of Slaves of the Goddess

The invisible leash (E)

Mistress & Slave, fine art print by Brian Gibbs (RedBubble), found originally on Lunar Black

Recent changes to my professional life, and a related huge increase in commuting distance, has led to very long work days for me. I don't have any issues whatsoever with the work commitment... a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. But I am saddened by having less time to spend with my Goddess. Not only actual physical time, but prime quality time. When I get home 12-13 hours after having left for work, I'm afraid that my energy level may not be all that it could be. Certainly not every single day. But that’s something I’m aware of, and during the commute back, I’ll mentally prepare to be the very best I can for my Goddess. And I’ll strive to catch up and exceed her expectations on my days off.

That being said, my biggest worries are actually elsewhere. Two of the greatest threats to any relationship, vanilla or D/s, are what I call the two Ds: disconnection and doubt. Lack of prime quality I’m-so-into-you-and-I-can’t-be-without-you-for-a-single-second time, over days, and weeks, and months, can take its toll. It creates gaps in each other’s live. It leaves needs that inevitably get filled in other ways, sometimes even by other people.

In addition, extended periods away from those we love also create a creeping sense of doubt. Where are they? What are they doing? Who are they with? Do they really have to be there? Can they really not be here with me? While good communications, and a commitment to openness and transparency, can help tremendously in minimizing this creeping feeling of doubt, and the threat it represents to trust, it remains that relationship trust is a fine crystal wine glass that once cracked, or chipped, will never, ever be the same.

So will that in mind, a little over a week ago, I offered to my Goddess the use of a smart phone tracking app… that would allow her to track my locations and movements at all times. Whether the app is running in the background of my smart phone, or my Goddess pings me for confirmation of my location and status, or I provide regular status updates, she will know where I am, and what I’m likely to be doing, at all times that cell phone signal is available.

My Goddess has received my offer with much enthusiasm, and the introduction of this “Invisible Leash” into our lives has been very successful up to now, although I think that she will be experimenting with a number of other apps to see which one will give her the level of control she desires.

Her frequent checks on my location and status, and my regular updates of the same, have kept us discreetly in close touch throughout the course of each day. Each ping, each check, each update, is a reminder of our caring for each other, of our love of each other, and a reinforcement of our D/s relational dynamics.

The quasi-constant contact is likely reassuring and comforting for my Goddess. It is reassuring for me too, since I feel that we remain ever-present in each other’s mind. In fact, a few times after responding to her checking in requests, I reached up to the Eternity Collar permanently fixed around my neck, touched the ungiving stainless steel, and enjoyed the warm feeling of remembrance of my belonging to my Goddess.

My hope is that the “Invisible Leash” will help maintain our incredible sense of connection, and stave off, if not eliminate, the creeping feelings of doubt that increasingly come up as relationships age. And besides, it’s so hot when my Goddess is in a controlling mood…

The joys of control at a distance (E)

A few weeks back, my Goddess was feeling particularly controlling and possessive. As I dropped her off at work, she requested that I go back home, put on the ankle cuffs, lock them on, and wear them until we were together again at the end of the day.

Shortly after I returned home, I received a text message asking me if I had done what she had asked. I sent her the picture above...

She got such a kick out of the picture! There they were, exactly as she had demanded. The little things that make her (and me) happy...

The tangible feeling of her control, her ownership, and my belonging to her through the sensation of the locked cuffs is incredibly special. I absolutely love it whenever she asks me to wear bondage gear under my clothing. I just can't stop thinking about it, reaching for it, thinking of what happened when she had used it on me last, and anticipating what may come. Knowing that my Goddess is excited thinking about the fact that I am wearing, for her, bondage gear that I can't remove is just so totally hot.

Aaah... the little joys of another day in the life of a loving D/s couple...

Collar stories - 2 (E)

Artwork courtesy of Detours

It's pretty obvious for anyone that has read a handful of our posts that my Goddess and I place a very high significance on the symbolism of the locked leather collar that she places around my neck every evening, and that she removes the next time we prepare to go to work. Or before the next shower, if we have a day off. Or before someone comes over to the house.

During the last few weeks, I've been driving my Goddess to work early in the morning before coming back home and getting ready myself. And most mornings, my Goddess has been having us leave the house before removing the collar.

With the advent of the cooler weather and heavier clothes, it has been easier to keep the collar, its D-rings, and the hanging lock in back, relatively hidden from sight when leaving the house. In fact, if someone knew it was there, and looked for it, they would catch a glimpse of it sooner or later because it can't be hidden perfectly unless I wear a turtleneck and a scarf.

But the collar has stayed on because both of us enjoy the sight and the significance of the locked leather collar so much, and it extents part of my Goddess' control and ownership of me another 15-20 minutes. It is unlikely anybody will have a good enough look at it to make out what it is, except maybe the drive-thru person serving us my Goddess' morning cappucino (and they normally don't have much time to chat).

Just before dropping off my Goddess, I park the car very close to her work for a minute or so, we look around briefly in case anyone is looking at us, I lean over her lap, she removes the lock and unbuckles the collar, and we have a kiss before resuming our trip to the front door of her workplace.

To borrow an expression from Serving B's comment to my last post, it extends the roller coaster ride just a little longer, and it will make the wait for the next ride just a little bit shorter.

And it makes you wonder... once fall and winter come along, if you go into a public venue with, let's say 200 people, how many might be there be with locked leather collars or locked leather cuffs or eternity-type collars/bracelets/anklets or with locked chastity devices on?

Hair control (E)

Artwork courtesy of Masochistic Beauty via Dischevelled Domina

I'm a short hair kind a guy. I've always liked it that way. As soon as my hair reaches the top of my ear, or that I can spot that it's long enough to not stand up on its own, it's time to swing by the barber's place.

The drawback, of course, is that this routine doesn't allow my Goddess to indulge in one of her favorite activities, hair pulling. Sadly, my sense of the functional doesn't always present her with the opportunity to reach for my hair when the mood strikes her. And we both miss that.

There's something very powerful about having my Goddess grab a hand full of my hair, and bringing me close to her, directing me in the direction she wants, or keeping me still.

She may want to look deep into my eyes, hungry to exert her dominance over me. She may want to make sure I'm totally focused on her while she tells me what she wants, what she wants to do to me, or she just teases me. She may want to have a kiss right then and there. She may want to exhale a drag of her cigarette into my mouth. She may want to direct me to pleasure her. She may want to use my hair as a lead to have me follow her. Or she may simply want to hurt me, one of those little moments of benevolent sadism.

Control... physical and mental. Dominance of her will and desires over mine. A display of her ownership of me. Such a simple action, such a powerful reaction.

Just a few days ago, I was sharing with my Goddess that I was planning on getting my hair cut as soon as I found a little time to go to the barber's. I was totally taken aback when she said no. My Goddess made it clear to me that I wasn't to cut my hair in the next two weeks. We do have some opportunities coming up for some extended play, and it looks like some serious hair-pulling is in the plans, among many other things.

I've been thinking of what is to come, and what may come, incessantly since that moment...

Totally lost into her: part 2 - tied up (E)

Artwork courtesy of Flat Earth Social Club

Sometime after the unforgiving ecstasy of cane...

I was lying on the bed on my front. My Goddess unclipped the locked leather wrist cuffs, and moved my arms alongside my body. Moving down to my feet, she took hold of the clipped ankle cuffs. She brought them toward my backside, making my legs bend at the knees. She then took hold of my left hand, lifted it up, and clipped the wrist cuff to the left ankle cuff. Finally, my Goddess clipped the right wrist cuff to the right ankle cuff.

And there I was, on the bed, hogtied, in the total control of my Goddess, completely vulnerable, totally in her control.

The hogtie is a very special experience for both of us. My Goddess loves how little I can move, she loves how helpless I am, she loves how helplessly open I am to whatever she wants to do to me, even if it's doing nothing.

On the other side of it, the hogtie is the source of some of my deepest subspace experiences. The feeling of strict and ungiving, yet relatively comfortable bondage, immobile and vulnerable, with just a bit of tension, creates an uncommonly deep sense of surrender, and a powerful feeling of dependance on, and trust in, my Goddess.

I don't know how long my Goddess kept me in that position. It could have been 10 minutes, or it could have been two hours. Something in between, I'm sure.

I remember her nearby warmth, hovering teasingly over me. I remember the reassurance of her physcial presence when she scratched me or pinched me or bit me or kissed me or hurt me. I remember feeling light, almost detached from my body. I remember the comfort of being in my Goddess' care. I remember being absolutely hers. Bound, but bound to her. Beyond my body being bound in leather and metal, my mind and my soul were bound by her love and dominance.

It might have looked from the outside like I was in immobilizing bondage with my Goddess dominantly, victoriously standing over me, but the reality of the emotions and sensations was an almost overwhelming lightness of being... a spiritual joining of my Goddess and I, hand-in-hand, soul-to-soul, moving down a path without place or time, with the familiar and recognizable behind us, and the exciting but still undiscovered before us...

Adventures in "leashing" (E)

Artwork courtesy of Laurent Lebeau

Busy day around the house yesterday, with lots of chores, duties, and things to do.

As is the tradition when my Goddess and I are at home but not spending the whole time together, she will clip my house leash to the central D-ring of my locked leather collar. The house leash is 50' long, tied to one of the posts of the bed, and it is holds much significance, and more than a little affection, for both of us.

The symbolism of the leash is multi-faceted. It is an instrument of control... easily allowing my Goddess to control or direct my actions, or know where I am or what I'm doing. It is a signal for service... my Goddess giving it a few tugs, or pulling it in until I appear, and this is usually followed by a request for something. It is a brush for the expression of my Goddess' dominance... giving me room, or taking it away, but always in a position to decide which it will be.

In a slapstick comedy kind of way, the leash can also be a real hazard. While I'm busy doing something, if I complete a turn instead of undoing it, the leash will wrap around my ankles. Sometimes I'll get up from a sitting position or one where I'm bent over, and realize that I can't straighten up any more because I accidentally stepped on the leash. Or that my Goddess stepped on the leash.

I have to be careful not to have the leash swing inside the oven if I'm putting something in or taking it out. I try to hold the leash in one hand to control it better if I'm moving something heavy or vacuuming. I try to keep the leash over my shoulder when I'm washing dishes or cleaning counter tops.

The leash will get caught in the straps of my locked leather ankle cuffs or locked leather wrist cuffs. The leash will get caught over furniture and under doors, around chairs and through whatever may be on the floor, shortening my range and forcing me to come back and fix it. My Goddess had a good laugh yesterday when the leash found some jeans that had fallen to the floor, the leash looped around them, and as I was off to prepare some coffee for her, the jeans made their way across the room.

The washing machine is the single furthest thing in the house for me when I'm wearing the leash. I can just barely reach over to its controls, and to pull clothes out to transfer them to the dryer, I have to make sure the leash is on my right side, not the left, otherwise I'll be left short. Washing machine duty can also be the most surprising. Occasionally, I don't notice that the leash got caught somewhere until the last second, and focused on the tasks at hand, I'll get jerked just a few feet short of usual range. I then feel like one of those cartoon dog characters running after someone or something, and then landing on their backs after getting to the end of their leash.

But all the trouble is well worth it when I see the wonderful and deliciously dominant smile of my Goddess when I show up before her, after she has summoned me with the leash. It's well worth the trouble knowing that my Goddess needs me for something when she pulls on the leash. It's worth even more than any trouble when my Goddess uses the leash to pull me in close to her, and I can feel, no, I am overwhelmed by, her control and her dominance.

And I'd more than happy to wear the leash just for the pleasure, and moments of humor, it provides my Goddess.

Chain of love (E)

Artwork courtesy of Stig

It's been 26 days since my Goddess purchased, and locked around my neck, a beautiful chain that is kept in place by a small shiny lock that matches the chain perfectly. I've worn it for all 26 days, 24/7. My Goddess has the only keys to the lock in her possession, and short of exceptional circumstances such as air travel, medical issues, or other major situations when it could be a problem, she's told me she's not intending on taking it off. Ever.

That's so hot...

I'm sad that this has meant that the original necklace my Goddess collared me with has remained on my bedside table. It's a beautiful piece that is clearly D/s in intent, and its design makes it relatively easy to conceal under a shirt or sweater. The problem was that it was a delicate piece, it was starting to show some wear, and it had to be removed once or twice a day so not to be damaged.

And that is what motivated the purchase of the chain. While less subtle, the heavier chain can still be concealed fairly easily, it is much less likely to be damaged, regardless of activities, and even if it does get damaged (which is difficult to imagine, in view of its hardy construction), it would be relatively inexpensive to replace.

This new locking chain has not been affected by our ritual of my Goddess placing my locking leather collar around my neck as soon as we both get home each day. It is more than sturdy enough to withstand the occasional light impact with the D-rings of the leather collar, something that was a concern with the more delicate necklace. So during my time at home with my Goddess, I've been wearing both the locking chain and locking collar over the course of the last month.

In additional to the heavier weight around my neck, the new locking chain has proven to be a bonus to my Goddess as it is easier to reach and tug on, if the leather collar isn't connected to a leash. It has come in useful to my Goddess during our lovemaking for control and very light breath play. And while we go around in public, such as shopping in large malls, it has brought little moments of pride and joy to my Goddess as she will occasionally reach around the back of my neck, pull the chain up so that the lock slips over my shirt or sweater, and then it becomes visible to anyone who would look carefully enough.

Wearing the locked chain 24/7, knowing that it cannot be removed unless my Goddess chooses to, has been an additional element of control that has further reinforced the D/s dynamics of our relationship, and deepened the bonds of belonging and ownership between us. It has also deepened or intensified what I would call the serenity of surrender, a peaceful and happy place to be in for me.

The locked chain is a noticeable physical sensation that is a simple but powerful symbol of my Goddess' control over me, and a symbol of permanency, of dominance, of inevitability, and of commitment. And it has been a wonderful addition to both our collection of implements and our lifestyle.

In bondage for a night... and a day... and another night (E)

Artwork courtesy of Famio through the Museum of Femdom Art

After the amazing evening we had, with the hot and sensual strap-on play, and the marking, my Goddess decided to leave the locked wrist and ankle cuffs on overnight. But not only did she leave them on, but she clipped my ankle cuffs together, did the same for the wrist cuffs, and clipped these to the chain running from the top of the headboard. I was hers, and in her control, for the night.

I so love the feeling that my Goddess wants to keep me by her side and under her control. It's an intoxicating feeling, mixing elements of belonging, affection, ownership, attention, control, dominance, vulnerability, helplessness, and surrender. I do miss, however, the option of reaching over to get close to her, although most of the time she'll be the one staying close to me, often laying her head on my chest and one thigh over my hips.

Over the course of the night, after several hours I guess, I wasn't in a position to check on the time, my Goddess unclipped my wrist cuffs from the chain and from each other because she wanted to change positions.

The ankle cuffs stayed clipped, though, and in fact remained that way for about half the next day. This gave my Goddess the opportunity to teasingly chide me for my slow service during our usual morning rituals, and when she requested things that I needed to get. You can visualize the scene... needing to get her morning coffee in locked ankle cuffs, with a 4" clip keeping them together. Even with about an inch for the D-ring on each cuff, that makes for pretty short steps. And the need to minimize the movement of the cuffs while walking is not to be taken lightly. Long-term and active wearing of the leather ankle cuffs can be rough on the skin, and not being careful with stride length while walking can cause serious skin burn. Over time, I have developed little permanent scuff marks from it, marks of my Goddess' dominance that I absolutely adore, but I'm still pretty careful walking when the ankle cuffs are clipped because they can get very painful very quickly, especially once the skin is broken.

My Goddess and I are not much into humiliation in general. Just not something that appeals to either one of us, and it would be an awkward fit in our particular dynamics. However, she does enjoy teasing me and making fun of me when I'm under her control or in a predicament she puts me in. Examples of this in the past have included us taking time to smoke while I had nipples rings on that were really really hurting and had to come off right then and there, asking me "Aaah... what's wrong, Baby?" after a particularly intense reaction, or in this case, teasingly giving me a hard time for being so slow coming back from errands at the other end of the house while my ankles are bound.

By the morning, as is the tradition on non-working days while we are at home, I was also wearing what we affectionately call the house lease, a 50' length of rope clipped to my collar. With my ankles bound, my Goddess also took the opportunity to remind me of how slow I was in my movements by tugging on it faster than I could walk. I tried to stay focused on not spilling anything, and I couldn't help but smile at how much fun she was having.

That day was a stay at home day for us, and the locked ankle cuffs and the locked wrist cuffs stayed on all day. It's a given that my locked leather collar remained on since the moment we walked in the door the previous evening, as is the case every single day. In the mid-afternoon, my Goddess mercifully removed the clip from the ankle cuffs, since she didn't want to damage the skin to the point where it would bleed. But there would be no release from the cuffs, and the possibility of my Goddess deciding to restrain me further at any moment remained.

We had a wonderful day together. I was kept busy by domestic service around our home, including preparing meals, 4 loads of laundry, washing the dishes, some minor cleaning, and during the evening, my Goddess required sexual servitude.

Time to go sleep came back around, and while all the cuffs stayed on, they were not clipped together or tied to anything. But we did fall asleep in a spooning position, with my Goddess on the inside, and with my arms wrapped around her, and she took hold of the wrist cuffs with her hands. We fell asleep in that position, and it made for an even more restraining and controlling position, since the last thing I would want to do was wake my Goddess up with any sudden move.

Sadly, the morning came and we had to get ready for work. After 36 hours, give or take a bit, the cuffs and the collar came off. The release is always a sad moments for both of us, but I did enjoy the phantom sensations that lasted for an hour or two after the removal of the cuffs.

In an exchange of cell phone texts later that morning, when we made brief allusions to the cuffs, my Goddess reassured me that they would be back on soon...