Restraint... without restraints (E)

Artwork courtesy of Neshemadarkangel and Lunar Black

It was a few nights ago. I woke up briefly in the middle of the night, a BDSM scene vividly fresh in my mind from the dream that was interrupted. My reality was sleeping on my right side, at a slight angle relative to my Goddess, with her right leg over my thighs, the left one over my waist, and my left arm across her torso, held tight at the wrist and forearm by her hands.

I was restrained... virtually bound immobile by her limbs. I had woken up because of the slight discomfort (how long had I been in this position?), but being trapped in such a manner was so erotically charged in a D/s kind of way that I didn't want to move. And I didn't want to risk waking up my Goddess.

I felt the weight of her legs pinning me down. I felt the tension one of her hands and the weight of her left arm exerted in keeping the tension in my arm. The D/s sensuality of the immobility gave way, after deciding to try to fall back to sleep without moving, to a deep sense of surrender. And then subspace. Have you ever fallen asleep drifting into subspace? It's a very deep, very submissive, very peaceful sinking into sleep.

Sleep was overtaking me again. In those brief twilight moments, I had flashbacks to one of the last times my Goddess had me bound and stretched in a large closet that served as a small makeshift dungeon. Blindfolded, wrists bound to the upper clothes rack, ankles bound together, my ankles and knees bearing my weight. She left me there, waiting in the dark, for her return from taking a shower. She would later open the door and check on me briefly to make sure I was OK. After a pull on the nipple clamps, a delicate kiss on the lips, and a teasing warning not to go anywhere, she closed the door again, and once more left me in isolation while she was off to do her make-up.

I drifted into sleep for perhaps a few seconds or few minutes, but peeked into consciousness again just long enough to have brief remembrances of scenes when I dozed off while my Goddess had left me in a hogtie for an extended period of time. Again taken back to one of those falling asleep while bound and disoriented in subspace moments. I can't describe it. Some of those overwhelmingly powerful feelings and emotions that make such an impact on us that we try to recapture, re-experience, re-feel, re-live them again and again.

The discomfort passed. I fell asleep for good. I was woken up only several hours later by my alarm. Neither one of us had moved.

Artwork courtesy of Famio and the Museum of Female Domination Art

All over the place (E)

Image courtesy of Loves to Lick via Dishevelled Domina

This quiet morning of staying at home after several weeks of work without a day off is leaving me in a rather unusual kind of mood. My body is enjoying the change of gear and the knowledge that the day will be without hugely pressing issues to attend to and resolve, yet my mind is still racing, with thoughts and mental images all over the place.

I woke up first, and I am still the only one up, in the calm of the early morning, looking forward to spending a delightful and much needed day with my Goddess. Behind the apparent stillness of waiting for a second dawn to break, I am full of anticipation for the rising of my Goddess, a morning at her feet, our “Coffee & Clamps!” ritual, and spending the entire day at her side, doing whatever she’s in the mood for.

Since getting up, I’ve also had this deep, visceral yearning for her to hurt me, in a BSDM/different loving and attention kind of way (wink to Gloria Brame). Being so busy over the last several weeks has given us little time for much more than our rituals. These have been as wonderful and as deeply felt as ever before, continuing to reinforce our D/s relational dynamics, and providing a sense of center in the two of us, our love, and our bond. But I haven’t offered much of an outlet to my Goddess for her affection and her dominance.

Our course, this can change quickly with us, and I know my Goddess has been excitedly waiting for this first day I am completely hers is quite a while.

And true to my present erratic and overdriven mental state, let me share some a number of random and memorable Twitter finds of the past few weeks.

Stunning Twitter images:

From @MayaSinstress. Her website can be found here.


From @MistressKatyaNY. Her website can be found here.

Favorite Twitter quotes:
“Sometimes I read things that others have written and am inspired and jealous, both in equal measure. I love that.” From @Ferns_. Her blog can be found here.

"It's the submissives that show to others what type of Dom owns them." ~ Anonymous.
From @AllThingsKink. Their website can be found here.

Stunning Twitter fetish video: from @GoddessSativa. Her website can be found here.
Bootlovers.com #72: Goddess Sativa in her custom purple crotch high boots!

Articles found through Twitter I enjoyed:

Found through @subguide: The Collar... BDSM Symbolism and Personal Meaning

Found through @subguide: The Importance of Journaling Your Submission

Found through @subguide: Slave Positions

Found through @DirkHooper: Her Pet Speaks

Found through @DirkHooper: BDSM: It’s less transgressive than you think

And not necessarily related to Twitter, I added three new blogs (I so have to clean up the inactive links!):
1- From Beneath the Rose
2- Hard Loving
3- A Goddess and her Boi Toy

Moment of the day (E)

Artwork courtesy of http://www.russianmistress.com/ via Miss and pet

Background:

Every morning that my Goddess and I leave for work at a similar time, we have a delightful ritual that we go through. It is a splendid, and very special, way for us to start off the day, renewing and reinforcing our D/s dynamics.

The alarm goes off on my bedside table. I get up, grab a few special items, and move to the kitchen to prepare my Goddess' coffee. While it's brewing, I clip the chrome and leather leash to my leather collar still locked from the previous evening... my Goddess enjoys holding on to, and tugging on, the leash to keep me close to her feet during morning coffee time. And I clip the clover clamps to my nipples... my Goddess loves to randomly tug on the chain to get my attention, or just because she enjoys the reaction she gets from me.

Once the coffee is ready, I bring it to a side table in the living room. I head back into the bedroom to wake up my Goddess gently, and let her know that everything is ready for her. Finally, I return to the living room and sit on the floor next to her usual spot on the sofa, while waiting for her to get up, go to the bathroom, and make her way next to me where, in a matter of a few minutes, my Goddess will enjoy her coffee, along with a cigarette, while watching some television before getting ready for the day.

Today's Moment of the Day:

Our ritual this morning pretty much followed the usual routine except for one variation... a small but oh-so-powerful twist that stayed with me all day.

As I went back the bedroom to wake up my Goddess after I prepared her coffee, she ordered me to remain next to the bed while she went to the bathroom. Upon her return, she firmly grabbed the leash, pulled it downwards to force me to get on all-fours, and walked toward the living room, pulling on the leash.

Immediately, I had a small wave of subspace come over me as I tried to keep up to my Goddess. I focused on her naked feet and ankles, extending below her bathrobe, as she led me on the leash. Once we got to our respective spots in the living room, she sat down on the sofa, and I sat on the floor at her feet. She shortened her hold on the leash, giving me just enough room to reach for the cigarettes.

And then the ritual got back on course. I lit her cigarette, gave it to her, reached for the ashtray, and held it while she enjoyed both her cigarette and her coffee, and watched a few minutes of television before getting ready for her work day.

Impact:

While our morning ritual is full of D/s symbolism and dynamics, this morning's seemingly simple additional gestures had a lasting impact on me throughout the day. Perhaps it was just the element of newness to a well-established ritual. Perhaps it was the suddenness and forcefulness of her actions, taking me by surprise. Perhaps it was the specific nature of her actions, triggering specific sentiments. Is there anything more quintessentially femdom in imagery and emotion than a submissive/slave being led on a leash by his beautiful dominant mistress? It is likely elements of all three. But I do know that it was wonderful to be swept by that small wave of subspace, to remain a bit tense anticipating what else may be coming up, to be in the control of my Goddess I crave so much. And I know that just as much as ever before, every little thing she does is magic...

The leash, and other sacred rituals (E)

The Red Boots, by Silver Jane, via Lunar Black

In these difficult economic times for us, I haven't given my Goddess a lot of time or many opportunities for her to express her domination. She has been so patient with my very long days and weeks at work, so generous with her unconditional support, and so wonderful in making the most of our few moments together.

That said, there are a number of our sacred rituals that are part of our lives that are as constant as the rising and setting cycle of the sun every day, and I am so grateful to my Goddess for keeping these going, and for her continued enjoyment of them, always maintaining a certain level of positive tension in our D/s dynamics.

Recently, my Goddess asked me to re-install the long "house leash" to the bed. The first thing I did the next morning was to clip one end of the 50' leash to the foot of the bed, and clip the other end to my locked leather collar. Upon her waking up later that morning, she found the leash, and pulled me in to her, wherever I was in our home, so I could begin my day of service to her.

Speaking of the locked leather collar, it is still one of my most cherished pleasures that every night, upon my return home, as surely as the tides move in and out twice a day, the D/s dynamics of our relationship are celebrated as I kneel before my Goddess, offering her my locking leather collar. She places it around my neck and locks it in place, where it remains until I need to shower before leaving for work the next morning. It means so much to me that she feels as strongly about this symbolic display domination and submission, owning and belonging, as I do.

When I'm still home at the time my Goddess wakes up in the morning, I have unerringly taken the opportunity for our favorite morning ritual. I'll prepare her one of her favorite coffees, bring it to her side, kneel before her as I lay it on the table, light her cigarette, and hold the ashtray up for her. If we still have a little time, I will take take each of her feet, and cover them with hundreds of little tender kisses.

When time allows in the morning, I make an additional offering of presenting myself to her at wake-up time with nipple clamps or nipples rings on, wearing little else than those, my locked leather collar, my ever-present eternity collar, and some underwear or sleeping shorts. She delights in my willingness to suffer for her, and she can never resist the temptation of reaching out to tug on the nipple clamps or rings to tease me and elicit gentle moans for me that she so enjoys.

I make it a point of doing some domestic duties such as cleaning, washing dishes, and straightening out the house before she gets up, although it is never quite enough, and I must schedule my time better to keep our humble castle in better shape for my Goddess.

Often in the evening, in addition to the locking leather collar, my Goddess will enjoy placing locking leather wrist cuffs and ankle cuffs on me, whether there is any play to follow or not. It's just an ownership thing, and she knows how much I love to honor by having many tangible, symbolic signs of my belonging to her.

While the locking leather items may not go on if we are having friends or family over, I do try to fulfill my Goddess' expectations of being the serving host, and this subtle part of our relationship dynamics, is especially exciting as it goes relatively unnoticed by our visitors.

Of course, variations are numerous, and play may or may not follow our rituals. However, these rituals are the foundations that keep our love and D/s dynamics strong, constant, unshakable, and full of positive tension that keep us both in a state of always wanting to get back to each other, always wanting to be with each other, and always wanting to do more with/for each other.

Instead of being restraining, our rituals are means for liberation, and they reinforce our love and commitment to each other. To paraphrase Amy Gregory from an article I read a long time ago, rituals resonate within us, they comfort us, and what they communicate to us is even more important than actually performing them. Rituals may be intimidating to some, but they don't have to be big events. They are about connecting, they about celebration, and I think that my Goddess and I will continue to find solace in them.

Image courtesy of Miss and pet

Nipple clamp motivation (E)

Artwork via danbooru.donmai.us

A few weeks back, my Goddess and I woke up from a wonderful night's sleep in each other's arms. Before going to sleep, she had placed the locking leather wrist cuffs on me, in addition to my locking leather collar. I just had that overwhelming sense that she felt like displaying a little extra control, a little extra ownership.

I love those little moments when my Goddess displays her need for dominance, even when those small gestures may be more symbolic in nature. It makes me feel needed. It makes me feel like I'm part of her essential balance. It feels good to have subtle physical manifestations reinforcing the reality of the D/s dynamics of our relationship.

As we woke up, we both had that feeling of wanting to stay close to each other. There was a tangible connection, even beyond what we normally feel most of the time, that we weren't willing to give up just yet. But we had a busy morning ahead of us, and we had to get the day in gear.

After our morning routine, the feeling of needing to be close was still heavy on us. The up side was that the work we needed to do in the next few hours was primarily preparation out of our home office. We didn't have to leave until later that morning.

We went back to the bedroom briefly, where my Goddess placed a pair of nipple clamps on me. She teasing tugged on the chain to make sure there were on right, that I was feeling them, and that she had my attention. And then we went into our office for work.

The nipple clamps that were chosen were by no means the harshest ones we possess, but they were just right for what she had in mind. Once in our office, my Goddess told me the clamps would not be removed until I had finished my share of the work that had to be done that morning. She said it in such a delightfully, teasingly dominant manner that just melted my heart. An evil little predicament to provide her some sadistic pleasure and a measure of control.

The thought of taking my time on the project never came to me. This project was going to take well over an hour, perhaps close to two, and I had no idea how long I would be able to keep the nipple clamps on. Of course, if they got to be too much, I could always beg for some mercy, but then, that might or might not change anything, apart from providing my Goddess with a little extra sadistic satisfaction.

During the time I was working, my Goddess came over to occasionally reach under my t-shirt to gently pull on the clamps, or pull on my hair, or kiss me suggestively. Little diversion tactics to increase the discomfort, the helplessness, and the hotness of the predicament. But I got the assigned project done in about an hour and a quarter. It was time too because the clamps were really, really starting to hurt. Everything movement somehow made them feel heavier.

I turned to my Goddess to let her know that I was done. She looked at me with an expression that showed that she was delight with the playful scene, but sad that it was over. Or was it?

Just before she took the clamps, off, she decided that we would step outside to have a cigarette. A wonderful excuse for her to prolong the torment just a few more minutes...