Subspace awakening (E)

Image courtesy of Girls Rule, Subs Drool via Femdom Resource

I wake up this morning in a delightful subspacey daze. I spent the night serving as sleeping furniture for Goddess Selena, after our first “together” day in a while. What is a “together” day for us? No work, no obligations, “Coffee & Clamps!” in the morning, time at home where Goddess Selena keeps me collared and leashed and often at her feet when I’ll not on domestic duties, a late lunch date followed by some whimsical shopping and a movie, generally me doing things for her, and in between talking and laughing about everything in the world.

My subspacey awakening is intensified by the erotically D/s sensations and symbolism of the heavy leather collar locked around my neck, and the prospect of another, if different, “together” day. In those few seconds or minutes it takes to transition into consciousness and alertness, my emotional make-up of the moment brings about a torrent of flashbacks to the last time Goddess Selena let the phoenix of her dominance rise and consume both of us.

Image courtesy of Musings of a Mistress via Mistress Lilyana

After locking leather wrist and ankle cuffs on me, Goddess Selena strapped a blindfold around my head and ordered me on all fours on the bed. She quickly followed up with a long and increasingly stern caning that, about halfway through, had me break into a very light sweat, the unmistakable sign that I had crossed from the real world into subspace. I plunged further into the depths of subspace as she continued with another 30, perhaps 40 strokes from the two canes she was switching between every few dozen strokes. Satisfied with where she had taken me, Goddess Selena admired the colors and patterns of the marks she had etched on me, and ran her hands over my back to feel my quick, shallow breathing, the warmth and humidity of my skin, and the deep quiet moans coming from inside me.

Enjoying what she saw and felt, Goddess Selena wasted no time making changes to my bondage, and before I fully noticed the transition, I was restrained spread-eagle on our bed. Still blindfolded, her verbal teasing and humiliation made me focus on her voice as if I was looking at the sun from deep in a mine shaft. My attention shifted from the song of her dominant siren voice to the intoxicating aroma I rapidly recognized when she placed the panties she had been wearing that day over my nose. I took deep breaths, indulging in the powerful and sweet smell of Goddess Selena’s essence. I drifted ever deeper into subspace as Goddess Selena’s voice, her smell, and the sensations she felt like subjecting me to overwhelmed me.

Source: cdn-nl1.imagefap.com 

Images from the rest of our intimate D/s play time flash randomly, without order or sequence. Her nails digging into my nipples. Her lips touching mine so that she can exhale the drag she took from her cigarette. Her nails dragging and catching along the shaft of my semi-erect penis and the soft skin of my scrotum. Her orders to open my mouth when she needs to ash her cigarette. The tip of her lit cigarette brushing against my nipples. Her sitting on my hips, torturing my nipples, and riding my arched body until she reached orgasm. My back curving up as I react to the various exquisite sensations of pains she creates. My wrists and ankles straining against the locked leather cuffs and straps keeping me bound to the bed. The day-old panties still mostly over my nose. The images go back-and-forth as my emotional memories try to keep up.

I am back into the now. Now this morning. Locked heavy leather collar. Leash. Coffee and nipple clamps. Holding an ashtray while at her feet. Lots of affection and kisses. Catching up on house duties. Preparing for the week ahead.

Moments of our lives that slow down time as the memories bubble back to the surface of conscious thought…

Pull, by razriel. From Deviant Art. Found on Geek Domme and Mistress Lilyana.

Rituals and symbolic gestures (E)

Image courtesy of Cuckold Chronicle via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

I always find it fascinating to observe, and reflect on, the evolution of rituals and symbolic gestures in D/s relationships. From actions that begin rather innocently and become daily or weekly protocols, to things are given a significant amount of forethought and implemented as definitive symbols of domination or submission, D/s rituals and symbolism have inevitably evolve over time.

I look back with much pride and delight on what has come to be since Goddess Selena collared me several years back. The deepening of our relationship and interactions has been reflected in the D/s rituals, protocols, and habits we have developed. These actions, gestures, behaviors, and overall D/s dynamics have also helped keep us grounded through the vagaries of everyday life, in addition to providing us very enjoyable time with each other.

Image courtesy of Lunar Black - Desire for Submission and More...

So here is a list that I would describe as a dozen of our most significant rituals and symbols of Goddess Selena’s dominance over me, and my submission to her.

1- I wear an Eternity Collar 24/7/365. Goddess Selena retains the special tools for it (which she tells me she lost), and for all practical purposes, it can only be eventually removed if/when she decides it.

2- Goddess Selena places and locks an additional collar around my neck whenever I come back home from the outside world, and it does not come off until I must leave her presence again.

3- On any morning that we have time for it, "Coffee & Clamps!" is how we start the day. I must prepare and serve Goddess Selena her coffee (and refills), and I must be wearing nipple clamps until she is done with her morning coffee. I must also be leashed so she can keep me close by while she enjoys her coffee(s) and cigarette(s). The “Coffee & Clamps!” ritual usually does not end until her third coffee of the morning, and the nipple clamps only come off then.

4- I must be on the floor at Goddess Selena’s feet, holding an ashtray, any time she wants to smoke.

5- Any time I greet my Goddess (i.e.: when she wakes up in the morning or when I return from work), I must kneel before her and kiss each of her feet in an adoring manner.

6- On any morning that there is an expectation that Goddess Selena will sleep in later than me (which is the case most of the time), I must wear have the long house leash locked to my leather or rubber collar (whichever one she locked around my neck previously) so she knows I remain in the house. She will tug on the leash when she wakes up, pulling me in to her and letting me know she is ready for our “Coffee & Clamps!” ritual.

7- At her whim, when we have time to watch some of her favorite TV shows together, she will place me in bondage and use me as furniture for the duration of the evening. Usually, I while remain in bondage through the night’s sleep.

8- When at home, I must fetch, prepare, and serve all drinks, meals, and snacks for Goddess Selena. I remain at her beck and call for anything else she may require at any time.

9- Once Goddess Selena has locked a second collar (in additional to the permanent Eternity Collar) around my neck upon my return from the outside world, she keeps the keys, and only she can unlock/remove the collar, at the time of her choosing. This means that if the weather is right, I may have to run errands outside the house for her with the locked collar hidden under appropriate clothing.

10- The location of my Smart Phone can be tracked by Goddess Selena through a provider-based GPS system at all times. She can verify and keep track of my location at any time, and if necessary, I must account for my movements to her at any time if I did not warn her beforehand.

11- I must submit to Goddess Selena’s sexual and dominant needs at any time.

12- My own sexual/submissive needs are only met at the convenience and whims of Goddess Selena. This includes not ever providing myself pleasure until/unless she tells me.

Image courtesy of My Private F.

I will be interesting to see how these rituals, protocols, and habits will change over time. This post is as much an opportunity for benchmarking and looking back in the future as it is about thinking about where we are at the present time. Perhaps in a year, there will be another post, starting off with a link to this entry, talking about what else we have added to what we do each day as part of our D/s relational dynamics.

Image found on Thy Shall Love Thy Mistress, original source is uncertain.

Moment of the day: Etchings of desires (E)

Image courtesy of Cream & Sugar via Disenchanted Lullabies

It's very early in the morning, still dark outside. I've barely been awake for 60, maybe 90 seconds. I walk into the bathroom to start getting ready for the work day. I turn on the light over the mirror. As I wait for my eyes to adapt to the intensity of the light before opening them, I reach over with one hand to the area on the opposite arm just above the wrist. I feel ridges. Five of them. Rope marks... still etching my flesh from having my wrists bound over night. I slowly open my eyes as they are ready for the light. I now see the marks on the arm I am running my fingers over, and on the other arm reaching over. The rope marks are beautiful. I get that familiar feeling of warm-desperate-submissive-clingy-adoration for my Goddess inside me. For just a little while longer I will be able to see and feel the desire and will of my Goddess to make me hers... to keep me as her toy... to control her boy... to dominate her boy...

My Goddess bound my wrists the previous evening, as we sat down to watch television together. She loves using me as furniture as we watch TV, and she particularly enjoys doing that while there is an element of bondage present. In this case, I sat at the corner of the sofa after she bound my wrists together. She sat close against me, reclining on me, and my bound hands over and around her put me in a forced hugging-her-from-behind position for the duration of the time we remained in the living room.

We both so enjoy these moments of closeness, even more so because of the D/s elements added to them.

After a few hours, before we went to bed, my Goddess tightened the column tie for the night, making sure it was tight enough to be secure and inescapable, but not so tight it would cut circulation.

While we slept, I could feel her occasionally grabbing hold of the binding, pulling it close to her, simultaneously symbolically stating "Mine!", and reminding me I was under her control and that I couldn't go anywhere without her letting me go. And that's a feeling that I keep with me all the time...

Image courtesy of Slaves of the Goddess

In captivity... highlights of game night (E)

"Male Slave Bound Helpless" by Andrey Samacerv via Femdom Artists

Putting down images and emotions that she etched in my mind before the fog of subspace and the passage of time blur the specific details...

Captured... collared... wrists bound and ankles bound... blinfolded on and off... I couldn't keep up with her challenges... I couldn't bring down the number of strokes... the penguins just wouldn't stay on the iceberg... 7 strokes here... 19 strokes there... I lost track of the other numbers... she demanded I be on all-fours... sat on my back... sometimes the paddle... sometimes the cane...

My Goddess ordered me to lay down on my back on the sofa.... I struggled to get on... my breathing became more laborious as time passed while she sat on my mid-section for the duration... I was just another layer of the sofa under her... she lit a cigarette... put the ashtray on my chest... teased me with her smoke... teased my nipples with the burning tip... ordered me to open my mouth... tasted her ashes... I was her furniture and ashtray for the time it took her to smoke...

She walked away from the sofa for a minute... came back and began her to draw messages and symbols of her love for me, her dominance over me... from the top of my chest to my privates... I would remain marked and identified as her property for days to come...

The aftercare was tender... warm... close... so incredibly close to her... belonged to her... she cherished her possession, her property, her pet, her toy... so incredibly close...

Artwork courtesy of Shohei Yamashiro from Slug on Leather via Lunar Black

Answer to Lady Grey: Comment on human furniture play (E)

Image courtesy of cctdc via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

"As far as the human furniture thing goes, how do you feel while in that position? I know how it makes me feel to use Karl as a footstool or coffee table, and he's described it as a deep feeling of subspace as time passes, and says that he almost goes into a trance to maintain his position. The longer it lasts, the more turned on he gets by my indifference (there's that word again) to his discomfort and the fact that there's no timetable involved, no point at which he can be certain that it will end. How does that compare with what you feel, and does Selena torment you in other ways while you are in that situation, and/or punish you for wobbling or not maintaining the position she wants you in? I must confess that I do both." Comment/questions from Lady Grey in a recent post.

I find that our human furniture play breaks down in one of two types of scenarios. The first type of human furniture play tends to require effort, or there is an element of predicament-type discomfort. It may be the muscle fatigue building while I try not to move under the tension (supporting some part of her weight and/or mine), a localized pain such as a heel against a soft spot of my body, or a position that may make breathing or moving more challenging. This kind of furniture play is very subspace-inducing because of the discomfort/pain, and the elements of active dominance, control, and sadistic enjoyment, on my Goddess’ side.

The second type of furniture play doesn’t require that much effort or cause discomfort/pain, but it may still be very powerful in setting or maintaining a D/s mood. Examples of this may be my Goddess placing her bare feet against my back or on one of my thighs while I’m at her feet on the floor, reclining on/against me while we watch some of her favorite TV shows (usually there is some bondage involved), or requesting that I be in certain positions while we sleep so that she can lay on me in whatever manner she desires (her head on my chest, with or without bondage, or part of my body under her knees). This kind of furniture play reinforces the sense of ownership/belonging, service, and being her available for her use.

In both cases, the physical contact, the uncertainty of the duration, the D/s imagery of the positions, and the D/s tension of the interaction, are all large parts of the dynamics that give this aspect of our play a tremendous appeal to us.

Punishment is not a big part of our furniture play, or our D/s dynamics generally. My Goddess hurts me, in whatever form, for her enjoyment and satisfaction because, well, she just enjoys it and gets a thrill from my reactions to it. Certain predicaments she places me in, or challenges she imposes on me, may lead to more/fewer or more/less intense strokes (paddle/cane/flogger), but otherwise, it is a discretionary decision based on her mood and how excited she gets by my unintentional reactions. Neither one of us are fans of the possible manipulations that may arise from performance-based punishment. Not to say that it can’t be done right or that other people can’t make it an integral part of their dynamics. It’s just not something that holds that much appeal to us and our dynamics are of a different nature.

While some types of rituals or scenes are more likely to bring about furniture play, it seems to me that apart from scheduled favorite TV shows, or when it comes time for going to bed to sleep, it happens as spur-of-the moment inspiration on our part (mainly my Goddess’). Like bondage, like spontaneous hurting, like predicament situations, furniture play blends in and flows and from our D/s dynamics and the natural exercise of my Goddess’ domination and my submission to her.

Artwork courtesy of Shohei Yamashiro via Lunar Black