I love hotels (E)

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It started with a card game... (E)

Artwork courtesy of http://punkbunny223.deviantart.com/, via http://thoushalllovethymistress.tumblr.com/

Sometimes there are hours that my Goddess and I share together that are so intense that despite my best efforts, I can't remember all of what went on. There was just too much happening and the subspace was just too deep. Of course, that's not such a bad thing. In fact it's the result of really good things. I guess I can't remember all the details because some parts were so awesome that I can't remember the less intense ones, or the transitional sections. This post is about such hours spent together...

I do remember that... it all started with a card game. Running an errand a little earlier in the evening, I came back from the store with a card game based on one of our favorite board games. My Goddess loves games... in part because of the challenge and competition, and in part because it means that I spend the game in bondage. Locked collar, locked and clipped wrist cuffs, locked and clipped ankle cuffs, my Goddess gets no end of joy having us play games while I'm tied up, and struggling with the simplest movements. She also always enjoys asking me for little things during that time, like getting her drinks or lighting her cigarettes, just to see me struggle for her. The tangible sense of control and ownership is unbelievably hot for both of us.

I do remember that... a bit after the game, my Goddess had me lie down on the bed and rolled me onto my front. She sat on my lower back, reached under my chest with her hands, and tortured my nipples with her long, sharp nails. When she does that, I do try get my upper body up on my elbows because I know she wants to have unrestricted access to the nipples. One of our favorite positions, my Goddess loves feeling my reactions as I lie vulnerable and pinned down under her, helpless to stop her. She can also do some very intense NT from this position, and play with me as long and as hard as she wants. The body-on-body contact, my gentle squirming between her legs, my moans proportional to the pain she inflicts, they are all enough to bring her to climax. There's nothing quite as hot as suffering for the sexual satisfaction of my Goddess.

I do remember that... my Goddess added the blindfold at some point, and decided she was in the mood for some caning. With the heavy violet plastic cane. She mercifully started the first dozen strokes gradually. But she rapidly got enamored of the streaks she left on my backside, and instead of calling an end to the caning when she took me to the edge of what I could take, she eased off the intensity a bit, and built up the crescendo again. Between the peaks in intensity , I felt her hands against the skin of my backside, cooling, soothing, recomforting. Then more strokes... sharp, heavy, intense. She commented on the color and the pattern. And on how they would look the day after. As much as having me in bondage was an expression of her control over me, this kind of caning is a demonstration of her power and dominance over me.

I do remember that... my Goddess was in the mood for some smoke and breath play. The symbolism and the sensuality of her control of my breathing, of her giving me her breath, or taking mine away, always fosters a sense of surrender that is particularly deep. Doing some of it while she was smoking made it all the more tangible and intense.

I do remember that... the breathplay wasn't all that my Goddess was in the mood for while she was smoking. She returned to NT for a little heat play. Teasing my nipples with varying level of heat from the tip of her burning cigarette. I could see none of it, but I felt the passes, slow and fast, close and closer. The surrender deepened as she teased me with the potentially extreme pain of burning. Of course, she had no need for the latter. The threat of it, and a few very close passes where I felt the intense heat without any contact, created all the reactions she needed for her excitement and satisfaction. Hot in so many ways...

I do remember that... my Goddess loves to gaze into my eyes when I am deep in subspace. When she is done sadistically playing with her toy, it is always a special moment when she places me in a comfortable position and slowly removes my blindfold. As my mind and my eyes begin to focus on the reality of the then and there, it's just magical to have the first thing they focus on be her beautiful and dominantly smiling face. There's such intimacy in that gaze, such a sense of belonging and ownership...

I do remember that... my Goddess didn't leave me much time for post-play recovery... She had other needs that required my attention. And as quickly as I could gather my thoughts and wits about me, the next thing I focused on was the sexual service my Goddess needed. In every way she required it...

I do remember that... I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and that I had to take very small steps because I still had all the cuffs on me, and I wanted neither to trip and fall, or make noise that could wake up my Goddess. I evenutally returned to the bed, and spent the rest of the night in bondage close to her...

Desperate for a caning (E)

"Dark Princess" by kassiusgladius, found on Lunar Black

Her... not me. She wanted to play with the cane. No, she was desperate to give me a caning...

I love it when my Goddess is in the mood for the cane. I can't say I ever look forward to a caning per se. It hurts. Sometimes, it really hurts.

Of course, it's unbelievably hot and sexy, in a D/s, BDSM kind of way. But what I really look forward to is to submit to a caning from my Goddess. Once the cuffs have been locked and clipped, or I've been otherwise bound, and she has ordered me into position, I love how her dominance grows as my submissiveness deepens... I love the exchange of energy as I gradually surrender more and more, and she gets increasingly empowered... I love the flow of that uniquely D/s force that surrounds us and overtakes us as the veil of subspace moves over me and as she gets sexually and emotionally excited and turned on by hurting me. Hard or soft... fast or slow... long or short... simply because she's in the mood for it... simply because we wants it... simply because she feels like expressing her power and dominance...

Last week, we had one of those moments. The final click of the locks and clips (the usual collar, wrist cuffs, and ankle cuffs) had barely finished resonating that I was ordered onto the bed on all-fours. A blindfold was added. And in a matter of seconds, the first taps of the hard-plastic violet cane came down on my backside.

The taps didn't last long. We couldn't have gone much beyond double-digits hits before they became bonafide strokes. My Goddess played with me, varying the intensity, throwing some hard stokes in with the gentler ones, and some gentle strokes amidst the hard ones. She could tell when I was bearing down for a crescendo, and surprised me by holding back on some strokes. And then when I was relaxing and getting into a groove, she would come down with a stroke whose swoosh I heard, but only too late, as the velocity of the cane had done its damage. The mindfuckery contributed as much to the experience as did the pain.

My mind started slipping away... drifting... the tether of reality pulling back on it when I received strokes I can only describe as searing . Those strokes came down hard, sharp, lasting, deep. They caused reactions I could no longer control... legs partially straightening as the shock of the impact ran through my body... some forceful exhales... a light sweat breaking on my forehead and over my back. ..

The unpredictable pacing and intensity continued. Somewhere between hits, my Goddess was enjoying the brush strokes on the canvas. Seriously... seriously, is there anything BDSM-hotter than your loving dominant partner cooing at the marks they've inflicted, and how beautiful they'll be the next day? Than feeling the joy and excitement in her voice when she tells you playfully how much she's enjoying the colors and patterns she's painting on your body?

As my own reactions became quite a bit more, well, vocal and physical, my Goddess decided that she was done. She quickly climbed onto the bed, pushed me on my side, caressed me gently for a few moments, and removed the blindfold. But now, she was so excited that she just tossed the cane to the side, grabbed my hair with one hand and the D-ring of my collar with the other, reclined onto her back, and pulled my head into her sacred feminine area.

While she was done with the caning, clearly she was not done yet with me. She had other needs that had come up, and that I was required to meet...

Totally lost into her: part 1 (E)

Artwork courtesy of Bishop through the Museum of Femdom Art

We finally made it to our hotel room, both of us edgy and excited at what was coming.

My Goddess looked stunning in her knee-high black high-heel boots, knee-length skirt, red shirt, and black vest. We had had the whole day to ourselves, and a fun evening. But I had no illusions about what was to follow. My Goddess had been in the mood all week, and had even mentioned a few times in the previous days that she felt an overdue need to "beat the shit" out of me. Playfully, of course.

After putting down the bags and taking off my coat, I reached into our toy bag for my locking leather collar, and I offered it promptly to my Goddess. It's always the first thing on the agenda. Once the collar in place and locked, I removed my Goddess' boots slowly, almost in a ritualistic manner. After pulling off one boot, I gently kissed her foot in respect/adoration, inhaling the wonderful fragrance that was a combination of the aroma of the boot and the sweet, delicate smell of her foot encased in the boot for the past many hours. I repeated the action with the other side, and then moved up her leg with tender little kisses.

My Goddess told me to find her some ice, so I immediately got up, put on clothing that would cover my collar, and left the room with the ice bucket. Already, I was slipping into subspace as I walked the hallways looking for the ice machine. Anticipation... excitement... surrender... intoxication... all mixed in to give me a high that had me feeling a bit lightheaded.

I returned within just a few minutes, and my Goddess was waiting for me, sitting on the bed, in her black nylons, panties, and bra. I paused... got closer... we kissed... passionately. I poured her drink, and then without further delay, she ordered me to lie down on the bed.

We had both been looking forward to this for several days. And when the moment came, I was totally lost into her. My surrender was complete almost before we had begun. Drifting in subspace from the very beginning, the activities are clear in my mind, the sensations and emotions crisply etched, but the sequence is blurry. Akin a dream that we need to recompose from a set of vivid images without being able to remember the exact flow.

I do remember that the caning came early on.

Once I was on the bed, as my Goddess ordered, she quickly proceeded to place and lock the leather wrist cuffs and ankle cuffs on me. The wrist cuffs were clipped together, as were the ankle cuffs. The blindfold came on next. Or did it go on first? I'm not sure anymore. But I remember the warmth inside of me, being the center of attention of my Goddess. And as she further restrained my body, she more completely captured my mind as I became more vulnerable, as I became increasingly helpless and in her control.

My Goddess ordered me on all fours on the bed. She ran her fingers and nails over my body, down my back, over my ass, down my leg, and back up. She grabbed my hair and gave it a tug, as if to say "mine", as if to remind me that she could do anything she wanted.

I recognized the heavy plastic violet cane on the first stroke. I think it's my Goddess' favorite. She took her time building up the intensity... relatively... for her. But eventually the strokes came down heavy, sharp, and stinging. Some of them resonated through my body for a few seconds after the impact. But I had let go early on, and between that and the warm-up, I was able to take more strokes than usual. Which made her proud. And what a feeling that was. She was proud of what I had taken for her. There are few feelings as satisfying for me as that of meeting my Goddess' expectations, of making her happy. Of her being proud of my submission, and enjoying herself expressing her dominance.

She remarked on the beautiful marks she was leaving on my backside. Strokes of dark colors on the canvas of my body, deep brush strokes on the fabric of my soul. I wanted to give her more. She wanted to give me more. And she did. But she noticed not too long after that I had broken into a bit of a sweat. By now, my Goddess knows that means that I'm getting close to my limits. So she wrapped up with a few memorable strokes, and she caressed me, telling me how good I had been.

So deep into subspace, I really can't recall what came next. Was it my Goddess playing with an ice cube, dripping the cold drops over my body? Was it the hogtie? Was it the smoking scene? Was it the sexual servitude in bondage? Was it the Nipple torture? Was it the CBT?

And when did they come? How did we move from one to another? I don't know. I couldn't tell 24 hours after it happened, as I still was in subspace, with my mind swirling in mental imagery, phanthom sensations, and an acute sense of belonging. And I still haven't strung it together.

So I'll share some of the highlights piecemeal. But I've run out of time for now, and this entry is already plenty long, so I'll have to do it in part 2, in the next blog entry.

When it just happens... part 1 (E)

Artwork courtesy of Flat Earth Social Club

We came back home from dinner last night after a pretty rough day at work for me. My Goddess allowed me to dispense from my traditional duties of preparing dinner, feeling that I needed a little break to ease out of work mode. It was wonderful to have some downtime to relax, get a chance to talk things out, and slowly forget about work stress and getting back to just the two of us.

Upon our return, as is our ritual, I took off most of my clothing, and brought my Goddess my collar and lock for placement around my neck. This time though, after the ritual of the placement and locking was completed, without allowing me to get up and asking her if there were any requests she had of me, my Goddess ordered to get a leather blindfold out of our toy chest, which I went to get crawling on my hands and knees. Suddenly, a wave of our dominance washed over me, and that delightful feeling of submissive anticipation set in my stomach as I brought the blindfold back to her, and she took away my sight.

Once the blindfold in place, my Goddess ordered me on all fours on the bed. Following that, she moved off the bed and soon came back with a chain, which she clipped from my collar to the top of the headboard. I was right where she wanted me.

The anticipation rose, as did the feeling of subspace, as I heard my Goddess rummage through our toy chest. Within maybe a minute, I felt the impact of the hard plastic violet cane on my backside. Gently at first, many little taps came down, and gradually she built up the intensity as she moved the strikes around. Then there were a few moments of pause before I realized with the next strike that my Goddess has switched to the flexible rattan cane. Once more she rained many little taps upon me, and slowly increased the intensity into harder, sharper blows.

My Goddess alternated back and forth between the two canes as I slipped further into submission and subspace. I could feel the waves of her dominant energy rise and wash over me as I reacted to the increasing harshness of the blows. I can't describe how intoxicating and addictive it is to feel the vibes of her dominant satisfaction when I feel her enjoying hurting me.

She took a short break for a cigarette, not missing the opportunity to tease me with it as I was vulnerable and kept in place by the collar and chain. She came in close, blew smoke in my face, and just let me drift into subspace as she took her time enjoying my predicament.

My Goddess then changed things up again by using her belt on my backside. A beautiful, studded leather belt, it came down on me heavy but with less sharpness than the canes had. But this lasted just a short while before she returned to the canes. At this point, I was so lost into her, into her dominance, and into subspace, that I can't remember which one of the canes she used.

But she continued on, and did so with a purpose... it was as if my Goddess was looking for a specific reaction... a reaction from me that would hit her dominant G-spot. Heavy blows, sharp blows, each getting a deep gasp from me, each getting larger movement from me, fighting the binding that kept me in position. I tried to stay steady, but the strain against the chain was obvious. And she continued on until she was satisfied, until she got the reaction she wanted out of me.

During the pause, I felt my backside warm and tingling all over. My mind was totally adrift in subspace, and my Goddess had brought me into the "I'll do anything for you you" zone.

And then, in a quick moment of lucidity, I heard her open a bottle of lotion...