The Goddess wants to play - Part 2 (E)

Courtesy of Who's Sorry Now? via Lunar Black - Desire for Submission and More...

Hmmm… Where was I in our delightful scene… More than time for me to finish what was started a while back.

Ah, yes… The hogtie. Arms behind my back, restrained by metal handcuffs. Ankles bound together by several loops of rope. Feet near my backside, legs bound there by a short length of rope anchored to the chain of the handcuffs. I feel the metal of the cuffs digging sharply into my wrists. The pressure of the rope around my ankles is also noticeable, but much more forgiving. I feel the tension of the bondage in my legs, my back, and my arms, and yet, my body and mind let go and relax. I give in to the hogtie, and surrender to my Goddess, who is towering over me, enjoying immensely my helplessness as she plays bondage artist.

The hogtie is one of my favorite bondage positions, despite not being all that comfortable. Somehow, the dichotomy of the tension of the position itself and the deeper state of subspace it carries me into, forcing me into surrender and letting go of all, work together in intensifying the emotions and reactions of the power exchange between us. One of those things that definitely, as Paltego from Femdom Resources would say, pushes my buttons.

Goddess Selena gives each one of the ties a little tug. She teases me that everything is nice and tight.

“You’re not going anywhere…” She says playfully, pulling on my hair, and then running her nails down my back.

Courtesy of The English Mansion

She leaves me for a minute. In the depths of subspace, I have flashbacks of other moments left alone hogtied. Our first apartment… hogtied and isolated in our bondage closet while she enjoyed a favorite TV show. Our last house, hogtied on the bed while she takes a shower and gets ready to go out.

I drift back from my reverie when I feel Goddess Selena’s weight next to me on the bed. A sharp edge comes across in a short curve near the top of my shoulder blade. Between the sharp etchings and the focused vibes I get from my Goddess, I make out through the veil of subspace that she is drawing expressions of ownership and love with Sharpie markers on my back. Markings are always swoon-inducing for days afterwards…

Goddess Selena leaves me again for a few instants, and returns with her iPhone. She takes a few pictures of the markings and teases me about them. She puts the phone down on the night table, and releases the tie between the handcuffs and the rope keeping my ankles bound. She rolls me over on my back and arms, and helps me move up into a 45-degree sitting position against the headboard, with a few pillows behind me.

I’m out of the hogtie, but with my wrists and ankles still bound, and the blindfold still on, I can tell she’s not quite done. I hear a what seems to be a plastic bag with some soft-sounding items in it drop next to me. I feel Goddess Selena pinch some skin underneath my penis, and then, some light pressure that doesn’t dissipate despite the fact that she is no longer touching me. Then I feel her pinch a spot on my scrotum, and she lets go of it, leaving once more a light pressure point that remains. She comes back to the penis, and places a third clothespin. And back to the scrotum, for a fourth clothespin. She continues, alternating between the two areas, finding new spots to place a mix of wooden and plastic clothespin, each one more sensitive than the last. I think I can tell the difference between the clothespins, as I vaguely remember the wooden ones being a little stronger but creating more of a dull pain, while the plastic ones are a little sharper, if not quite as strong. Each a source of pain in their own way.

The clothespin scene gets even a little more intense on its own, as I slowly get an erection. The skin of my penis and the upper part of my scrotum get more taunt, making the feeling of the clothespins ever-sharper. Several minutes later, including I don’t know, maybe 12 or 15 or 18 clothespins, Goddess Selena is slapping at some of them, and tugging at others. I arch my back as waves of warmth and pain are radiating from my groin area. Then a singular jolt of pain runs through my entire body as my Goddess removes one of the clothespins and the blood flows back to the skin that had been constricted. And then she removes another to the same effect. I strain against the bondage and I can feel her dominance envelop me as she sadistically proceeds to remove each of the clothespins and enjoys my reactions to her play.

After the last one, I fall back limp against the bed as after-waves of pain still resonate from my groin. For good measure, Goddess Selena grabs my penis and scrotum in her hands and pulls then in different directions, and her hands feel cold against the pain and the warmth of the blood still rushing back to the deprived spots.

She runs her nails along my thighs, and unexpectedly, gives me a deep, passionate, erotically dominant, I-fucking-own-you kiss on the lips. After a surprised pause, I desperately try to answer back with my lips but she is already gone.

Courtesy of Divine Bitches via Mistress Lilyana

Goddess Selena spends a little while caressing me, holding me, occasionally kissing me, and asking how I am. She eventually removes the blindfold. A little more caressing, and she releases me from the bondage that had kept me at her mercy. Once she is satisfied I am gradually gathering my wits while slowly climbing out of subspace, we kiss again, deeply, passionately.

She takes my hand and gently drags me to our screen enclosed back patio, after we got partially dressed. It’s nearly midnight, and a light breeze is giving the air just a hint of coolness. My Goddess is in the mood for an after-scene cigarette. After a few drags, she grabs the middle ring of my locked leather collar, pulls me down to her a bit, and she gives me a smoky kiss. More (big) buttons pushed. A few more times she repeated the gesture, giving our scene a still fetishy cool-down.

From Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress (no longer active)

We went back inside, and soon lay down for sleep. Just before we dozed off, she told me to lie at an angle to her. She then lies down at a nearly perpendicular angle to me, and from her sleeping-on-her-back position, she places one leg over the back of my thighs and the other over my lower back (I was on my belly). Then she pulls me tight under her knees. And we fell asleep with my Goddess dominantly making herself comfortable using me as a leg/knee rest for the night.

Courtesy of Fluffy Art

The Goddess wants to play - Part 1 (E)

Courtesy of Leather Femdom via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress (no longer active)

After a whole afternoon of hinting at her desire for some play, it was not a surprise later that evening when Goddess Selena sent me to lie down in our bed and wait for her. It wasn’t long before she sat on my chest to pin me down, buckled a blindfold to take away my sight, locked handcuffs around my wrists, and fastened the chain of the handcuffs to the headboard of the bed. Restrained and vulnerable… that’s how she wanted me. I immediately felt her dominant glee and satisfaction come over me as the tension of the power exchange rose steadily.

Teasing me not to go anywhere, Goddess Selena went off on the first of what would be several trips over the course of the evening to find goodies that would serve her dominant purposes. Within two or three minutes, she returned and sat on me again, this time closer to my hips. She gave her own hips a shake, either to tease me, to remind me of how I was in her control, or to signify her excitement.

I heard the sound of the lighter being clicked several times, and then the first drop of wax landed on my chest. My startled moment was her moment of glee as she felt my chest rise and my hips rub under her. She moved the candle over different areas of my upper body, getting reactions of different intensities depending on where the drops landed. The wax was actually quite hot, and the heat impacted sharply. She seemed to enjoy my squirming, although I was limited in my movements, my hands bound overhead and her bodyweight keeping me down.

Courtesy of Gynarchy via The Heart's Dark Desires

Drifting further into subspace, I barely noticed when Goddess Selena reached over, and released the tie between the handcuffs and the headboard. As she moved off my hips, she ordered me to get on my hands and knees on the bed. She began with a flurry of little taps from the rattan cane. As soon as she told me to keep count aloud however, the strokes came in much harder and stingier. I had barely reached ten when she switched to the much heavier purple lexan cane. I had difficulty staying in place for the next ten as Goddess Selena didn’t let up despite the more severe striking implement. Despite her evident radiant enjoyment of the caning and my reactions to her ministrations, she decided then that it was time to switch things up again.

Part 2 in a few days: markings, hogtie, clothespins, subspace kissing, and more.

Courtesy of The Heart's Dark Desires
- - - - - - - - - -

We’ve been a social media hiatus, as you have likely noticed. Please accept our apologies if you’ve left comments or reached out to us. I’ll try to catch up over the next few weeks. I’ll also try to clean-up the links.

A big thanks to Ferns for the warm feeling she gave Goddess Selena and me recently. In a short exchange of tweets a few days ago, she mentioned that we had been “super quiet all over the place.” We’re sad that it has been indeed the case. But it’s feels nice that someone noticed.

Goddess Selena had left the handcuffs on overnight, and while she was still sleeping, I wrote most of this post, and began my morning activities, with my wrists still bound. I was quickly reminded how awkward typing is in handcuffs, and how dangerous simple activities like pouring cereal, and having breakfast, become. And yet, it brought back some of the D/s tension from the evening before, if only by proxy.

Subspace awakening (E)

Image courtesy of Girls Rule, Subs Drool via Femdom Resource

I wake up this morning in a delightful subspacey daze. I spent the night serving as sleeping furniture for Goddess Selena, after our first “together” day in a while. What is a “together” day for us? No work, no obligations, “Coffee & Clamps!” in the morning, time at home where Goddess Selena keeps me collared and leashed and often at her feet when I’ll not on domestic duties, a late lunch date followed by some whimsical shopping and a movie, generally me doing things for her, and in between talking and laughing about everything in the world.

My subspacey awakening is intensified by the erotically D/s sensations and symbolism of the heavy leather collar locked around my neck, and the prospect of another, if different, “together” day. In those few seconds or minutes it takes to transition into consciousness and alertness, my emotional make-up of the moment brings about a torrent of flashbacks to the last time Goddess Selena let the phoenix of her dominance rise and consume both of us.

Image courtesy of Musings of a Mistress via Mistress Lilyana

After locking leather wrist and ankle cuffs on me, Goddess Selena strapped a blindfold around my head and ordered me on all fours on the bed. She quickly followed up with a long and increasingly stern caning that, about halfway through, had me break into a very light sweat, the unmistakable sign that I had crossed from the real world into subspace. I plunged further into the depths of subspace as she continued with another 30, perhaps 40 strokes from the two canes she was switching between every few dozen strokes. Satisfied with where she had taken me, Goddess Selena admired the colors and patterns of the marks she had etched on me, and ran her hands over my back to feel my quick, shallow breathing, the warmth and humidity of my skin, and the deep quiet moans coming from inside me.

Enjoying what she saw and felt, Goddess Selena wasted no time making changes to my bondage, and before I fully noticed the transition, I was restrained spread-eagle on our bed. Still blindfolded, her verbal teasing and humiliation made me focus on her voice as if I was looking at the sun from deep in a mine shaft. My attention shifted from the song of her dominant siren voice to the intoxicating aroma I rapidly recognized when she placed the panties she had been wearing that day over my nose. I took deep breaths, indulging in the powerful and sweet smell of Goddess Selena’s essence. I drifted ever deeper into subspace as Goddess Selena’s voice, her smell, and the sensations she felt like subjecting me to overwhelmed me.

Source: cdn-nl1.imagefap.com 

Images from the rest of our intimate D/s play time flash randomly, without order or sequence. Her nails digging into my nipples. Her lips touching mine so that she can exhale the drag she took from her cigarette. Her nails dragging and catching along the shaft of my semi-erect penis and the soft skin of my scrotum. Her orders to open my mouth when she needs to ash her cigarette. The tip of her lit cigarette brushing against my nipples. Her sitting on my hips, torturing my nipples, and riding my arched body until she reached orgasm. My back curving up as I react to the various exquisite sensations of pains she creates. My wrists and ankles straining against the locked leather cuffs and straps keeping me bound to the bed. The day-old panties still mostly over my nose. The images go back-and-forth as my emotional memories try to keep up.

I am back into the now. Now this morning. Locked heavy leather collar. Leash. Coffee and nipple clamps. Holding an ashtray while at her feet. Lots of affection and kisses. Catching up on house duties. Preparing for the week ahead.

Moments of our lives that slow down time as the memories bubble back to the surface of conscious thought…

Pull, by razriel. From Deviant Art. Found on Geek Domme and Mistress Lilyana.

Absence makes the dominant heart grow hungrier - part one (E)

Picture courtesy of Justin Thai, found originally on Stylish Femdom

It has been a very long time since the last post.  No, no… don’t be concerned.  Life sometimes gets in the way of blogging.  My apologies for the absence.  I will try my best to catch-up over the next week or so as I’ve had an irresistible urge in the past few weeks to return to the blog to share thoughts and highlights of our humble and kinky lives.  And I know you’ve missed us…  J

Several weeks ago, after a 6-day absence from home, Goddess Selena returned with an intense need to express her dominance.  She had been home for barely a few hours before I was bound, blindfolded, on all-fours on our bed, and she was standing next to me with her two favorite canes, a traditional thin switch and a hard lexan purple cane.  She teased me, hurt me, and then totally owned me with what must have been 50 or 60 strokes.  I felt the tell-tale signs of deep subspace mid-way through as I relaxed against the bondage, and the skin on my back broke into a light sweat of surrender.

While my backside was still hot and tingly, and my mind engulfed in her power, Goddess Selena had me lie down on the bed and marked me as “Selena’s Bitch 4ever” with a Sharpie pen.  I could feel her beaming in dominant satisfaction through every inch of my body.

She followed up by taking out our largest insert able, and assaulted me anally in an irresistibly erotic and dominant way.  I was awash in wave after deeper wave of subspace, and at each higher level of sensations and surrender she brought me to a moment of nexus where I didn’t know if I could handle any more yet I didn’t want her to stop. Goddess Selena took her time to slowly run through virtually all of the vibrator’s settings before she felt the need to move on.

Without pause, Goddess Selena proceeded to remove just enough ties to allow us to make love with an intensity, if not a savagery, that I had not felt in a long time.  From the violence of our thrusting against each other to the intense nipple torture she loves to submit me to during our lovemaking, it was absolutely overwhelming on all levels.  Several minutes after we had ended, my mind was still moving and dizzy, like the sensation one gets stopping suddenly after turning around and around and around.

We went to sleep shortly thereafter, and Goddess Selena left me in bondage overnight.

Artwork courtesy of The Heart's Dark Desires

"You don't make the rules..." (E)

Picture found on Femdom Resource

During some playful banter last night, Goddess Selena responded to a teasing remark from me by snapping back, “You don’t make the rules in this house!”

The mood that immediately ensued reminded me that I had wanted to find some time since last weekend for a post about how, in the days leading to then, my Goddess was on a noticeably more dominant streak. This translated into her being more teasing, more demanding, and expressing strict expectations of upcoming tasks. This time period also included an active return on Twitter, where she shared some of what was going on through her series of “It’s good 2B the Goddess…” tweets.

Image courtesy of Miss and pet (Tumblr account no longer active)

Our physical interactions were more intense as well. Goddess Selena took particular joy in us having the opportunity to have “Coffee & Clamps!” on three mornings (in four days), leaving my nipples little time to recover in between each session. Over the weekend, she unabashedly jumped on me after binding my wrists to the headboard of the bed. Without regards to my already exceedingly sensitive and sore nipples, she proceeded to bite, scratch, pinch, and torture them with a savage sensuality that I had not felt radiate from her in quite some time. The flow of energy between her dominance and the combination of my excitement and deepening surrender went back-and-forth, and grew with each exchange. The more I moaned and squirmed, the more she wanted to hurt me. The crescendo grew more powerful and louder over several minutes, and she refused to ease off until I reached a massive climax.

Image courtesy of Ms. Savannah Sly's Tumblr, found on Femdom Resource

Following long moments of closeness (while I’m trying to avoid any pressure against my chest) to wind down the incredible pitch of intensity from the previous few minutes, we fell asleep in each other’s arms. It was a deep, happy sleep that only comes from such moments of pushing ourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Rituals and symbolic gestures (E)

Image courtesy of Cuckold Chronicle via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

I always find it fascinating to observe, and reflect on, the evolution of rituals and symbolic gestures in D/s relationships. From actions that begin rather innocently and become daily or weekly protocols, to things are given a significant amount of forethought and implemented as definitive symbols of domination or submission, D/s rituals and symbolism have inevitably evolve over time.

I look back with much pride and delight on what has come to be since Goddess Selena collared me several years back. The deepening of our relationship and interactions has been reflected in the D/s rituals, protocols, and habits we have developed. These actions, gestures, behaviors, and overall D/s dynamics have also helped keep us grounded through the vagaries of everyday life, in addition to providing us very enjoyable time with each other.

Image courtesy of Lunar Black - Desire for Submission and More...

So here is a list that I would describe as a dozen of our most significant rituals and symbols of Goddess Selena’s dominance over me, and my submission to her.

1- I wear an Eternity Collar 24/7/365. Goddess Selena retains the special tools for it (which she tells me she lost), and for all practical purposes, it can only be eventually removed if/when she decides it.

2- Goddess Selena places and locks an additional collar around my neck whenever I come back home from the outside world, and it does not come off until I must leave her presence again.

3- On any morning that we have time for it, "Coffee & Clamps!" is how we start the day. I must prepare and serve Goddess Selena her coffee (and refills), and I must be wearing nipple clamps until she is done with her morning coffee. I must also be leashed so she can keep me close by while she enjoys her coffee(s) and cigarette(s). The “Coffee & Clamps!” ritual usually does not end until her third coffee of the morning, and the nipple clamps only come off then.

4- I must be on the floor at Goddess Selena’s feet, holding an ashtray, any time she wants to smoke.

5- Any time I greet my Goddess (i.e.: when she wakes up in the morning or when I return from work), I must kneel before her and kiss each of her feet in an adoring manner.

6- On any morning that there is an expectation that Goddess Selena will sleep in later than me (which is the case most of the time), I must wear have the long house leash locked to my leather or rubber collar (whichever one she locked around my neck previously) so she knows I remain in the house. She will tug on the leash when she wakes up, pulling me in to her and letting me know she is ready for our “Coffee & Clamps!” ritual.

7- At her whim, when we have time to watch some of her favorite TV shows together, she will place me in bondage and use me as furniture for the duration of the evening. Usually, I while remain in bondage through the night’s sleep.

8- When at home, I must fetch, prepare, and serve all drinks, meals, and snacks for Goddess Selena. I remain at her beck and call for anything else she may require at any time.

9- Once Goddess Selena has locked a second collar (in additional to the permanent Eternity Collar) around my neck upon my return from the outside world, she keeps the keys, and only she can unlock/remove the collar, at the time of her choosing. This means that if the weather is right, I may have to run errands outside the house for her with the locked collar hidden under appropriate clothing.

10- The location of my Smart Phone can be tracked by Goddess Selena through a provider-based GPS system at all times. She can verify and keep track of my location at any time, and if necessary, I must account for my movements to her at any time if I did not warn her beforehand.

11- I must submit to Goddess Selena’s sexual and dominant needs at any time.

12- My own sexual/submissive needs are only met at the convenience and whims of Goddess Selena. This includes not ever providing myself pleasure until/unless she tells me.

Image courtesy of My Private F.

I will be interesting to see how these rituals, protocols, and habits will change over time. This post is as much an opportunity for benchmarking and looking back in the future as it is about thinking about where we are at the present time. Perhaps in a year, there will be another post, starting off with a link to this entry, talking about what else we have added to what we do each day as part of our D/s relational dynamics.

Image found on Thy Shall Love Thy Mistress, original source is uncertain.

Afternoon's reverie: bondage, bathing feet, and more (E)

Image courtesy of Fettish via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

My Goddess was having a much-needed afternoon nap, and I was busy catching up on some domestic duties around the house. I was wearing the heavy locking rubber collar, and it was locked to a very long steel cable leash that my Goddess could tug on if she woke up and needed anything from me. We had enjoyed our “Coffee & Clamps!” ritual that morning, traditional on non-work days, and I could still feel soreness in my nipples hours later. As I slaved at the kitchen sink hand-washing dishes (pun intended), I had a moment of daydreaming that took me back to the previous weekend, to a delightful scene my Goddess created for the two of us.

In the early evening, Goddess had made good with the bondage threats from earlier that day, requesting the locking leather wrist and ankle cuffs. Upon me bringing them to her, she made quick work of wrapping them around my limbs and locking them in place. She used 3” clips to bind my wrists together, and then did the same to my ankles. In addition to whatever else was to take place, she was going to be entertained by watching me struggle through the rest of the evening fetching her things awkwardly with my hands and ankles bound, and making lots of jingly noises as the now five locks (I had been wearing the locking rubber collar all day) would swing and chime on my every movement.

Shortly after locking me in the restraints, my Goddess demanded a foot bath and some balm for her feet right then and there. At the time, I was still sitting on the floor at her feet in the living room. I got up, and made my way to the bathroom with quick, short jingly steps to retrieve some eucalyptus-spearmint liquid bath soap, her favorite foot balm, a face cloth, and a towel. In a second stage, I improvised a bowl to serve as a foot bath, and I filled it with warm water.

Back sitting on the floor before her, I took each foot and gently scrubbed it with the washcloth. The unmistakable smell of the eucalyptus infused water gave this tender scene a very sensual tone. The combination of one of our favorite smells permeating the air, me on the floor washing, rinsing, and drying my Goddess’ feet while she was sitting comfortably higher up, and the bondage restraints, all created powerful mental images and memories that the afternoon’s reverie gravitated back to.

Image courtesy of Written in the Water via Geek Domme

After drying her feet, I massaged and kneaded them with a plum-based balm. Once the lotion was fully absorbed into her feet, she told me to get her some light socks, and after the jingly trip to the bedroom and back, I placed them over her feet.

Seemingly satisfied with my care of her feet, Goddess Selena reminded me that I still owed her 71 strokes from a recent loss I suffered at her hands in our version of kinky-Scrabble. So she ordered me on all-fours, grabbed a recently purchased leather-slapper, and went to work on my back side. For 71 strokes. Yes, I counted them. She always expects me to count them, and she checks with me every 10 strokes or so.

Image courtesy of Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress via Geek Domme

While I got the feeling she enjoyed the paddling she dished out, she was somewhat disappointed that the leather slapper failed to leave impressions of the little stars that are cut-out of one side of it. Perhaps she’ll need more strokes the next time, or go harder, or we’ll have to get a wooden paddle with those shapes cut-out, in order for her to get the joy of little stars marking my backside.

I spent the rest of the evening at my Goddess’ feet, all cuffs still locked on and clipped, getting up occasionally when she needed a drink or a snack while we watched television, and holding the ashtray when she needed to smoke. Of course, whenever I fetched anything for her, she enjoyed my awkward struggle holding things with my wrists bound, my short-quick steps with my ankles bound, and all the noise my many swinging locks produced.

When it came time to go to bed, my Goddess left me restrained in the same way I had spent the evening, and she had me sleep nearly perpendicular to her so she could place her legs over my legs and back, using me as a body-pillow. She tends to sleep very deeply, and very well, that way.

As I woke up in the morning, I felt the locked cuffs restraining me before I had even opened my eyes. I remembered the delightful time we had the evening before, and I remained subspacey the rest of the morning.

Image courtesy of Cricketed's Blog

Recap: It's been a while between posts (E)

Image courtesy of Femdom Resource, credited to Strawberry Mistress' Tumblr

As it is usually after the case after a long period of not posting, I am bursting with a smorgasbord of thoughts, visions, and emotions. So here goes...

I would have gone to do some errands this morning, but it wasn't really possible. My Goddess went to bed last night without unlocking the leash she attached to my locked leather collar earlier, keeping me confined (in the best possible way!) to our home, and close to her. Late yesterday afternoon, she had gone for a nap, and being both terribly tired and not feeling too well, she got up just for a short time during the evening, and went back to sleep for good.

It may help to understand that this particular leash is a 50' long, 3/16" thick steel cable that is attached to a brass structure of our bed. Typically, she'll attach it to my ever-present locked leather collar when she goes for a nap and she expects me to be doing some housework, which was the case yesterday.

Here are some posts about the original house leash, adventures in leashing, and about the leash and other rituals.


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Without a doubt, my favorite recent find on Twitter is a very cute and funny clip put up by Miss Ginger Millay:

Shit Girls Say to Dominatrices

Interestingly enough, while I was watching the clip with my Goddess, she told "she's just your style." Not quite sure what my Goddess meant by that, although I guess she was remarking on Miss Ginger's humor and fun enthusiasm.

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Hottest (in a D/s kind of way) conversation of the last month with my Goddess:

In a discussion about money matters last weekend, my Goddess brought a quick end to the back and forth of the talk by interjecting "Oh, that's right... I own you." Well, that did it. Case closed, she wins, and in my momentary pause, I get hit by a little wave of subspace.

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Hottest texts of the last month:

"You're getting tied up tonight!"

I'm still amazed, and delighted, that several years into our relationship, I still get butterflies in my stomach and get all subspacey when she tells me that. And of course, I usually spend the rest of the day suffering from a total loss of focus.

Spending time in bondage in the care of my Goddess, with or without other BDSM activities, always justifies the emotional ramp-up, and reinforces both our D/s dynamics and the lasting imagery/imprint of those moments.

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Back of the topic of leashes, dissatisfied with the cell phone tracking apps we had been using, we upgraded to a monthly service that allows my Goddess to track my every movement... at all times and with great accuracy. In addition, she can load up addresses and days/times of my week's work schedule. Notifications come in to her cell phone if I'm not where I'm supposed to be at those times.

It has been a source of great D/s enjoyment for her... upon her first notification (she hadn't reset the schedule and location when I was out of town at a trade show), she texted me "Oh, I'm going to enjoy this!"

On my side, I'm glad to provide my Goddess with that level of control (and pleasure). I had written a post a while back called The invisible leash in which I talked about the D/s dynamics of the decision to have her be able to track my location 24 hours a day.

It's kind of interesting that, contrary to the normal feelings that may arise in non-D/s relationships, having less freedom and submitting to more control is increasingly appealing to me as our D/s relationship grows over time.

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I so have to clean up our blog's links. It's been so long... a number of links are no longer valid, and I have so many more to add. Be that as it may, I'd like to point out that shortly after this post goes live, I'll add the following photo sites:
Geek Domme
Felm Cyber
Please keep you slave on a leach
Slave in Training

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And finally, an image that could be of me while my Goddess is busy taking a shower, or otherwise busy and needing me out of the way but behaving.

Image courtesy of zzzdragonbdsm via Strawberry Mistress' Tumblr

Playtime, blogs, and tweets (E)

Artwork courtesy of Written in the Water via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

After I shared my new post with Goddess Selena Saturday night, we both began exchanging some tweets with our friend Mistress Lilyana regarding a comment she tweeted about an article that my Goddess contributed for Geisha Diaries. We then spent some time together looking at some pictures from blogs, Twitter, Fetlife, and considering potential new kinky purchases (looks like a cupping set is in our future).

It was getting late, and we headed off to the bedroom to go to sleep. Or so I thought. It wasn't long that Goddess Selena was on top of me, bound my hands and attached them to the headboard of the bed, blindfolded me, pulled out the spreader bar, and locked my ankles into the cuffs at each end of it. And after she locked my ankles in the spreader bar, realised that I stil had my briefs on, so she took the scissors to them. Wow... In no time flat, I was restrained and captured, unable (and of course, unwilling) to escape whatever she had planned for me.

Whatever she did have planned for me included small (plastic) and large (plastic and wood) clothespins that she applied at her leisure over my penis and scrotum, and on my nipples. She took some time to enjoy a cigarette while she continued the sensation play with a Wartenberg wheel, running it over the tender flesh of my torso legs, and privates. She put aside the wheel just long enough to tease each of my nipples with the tip of her cigarette. After she was done smoking, she added a second wheel, making me squirm hard against my bondage.

Between runs of the Wartenberg wheels, she scratched and deeply etched my skin with her nails. The sensation play, the entirety of my universe while I was blindfolded and bound, was occasionally interrupted by my Goddess giving me some teasing kisses, which never lasted long enough for me to really kiss her back. I could feel how empowered she got enjoying my increasing desperation and frustration in not being able to kiss her back.

She removed the clothespins, and I was especially thankful for not having those small plastics clothespins searing certain areas of my scrotum anymore. I had a full body tremor with the removal of each one of those.

My Goddess took a short break as she went into the living room to retrieve a recent purchase, a small leather slapper with star indents. She had fun slapping the inside and outside of my thighs with it, and teasing me with very gentle taps against my testicles.


I could tell she so wanted to strike me with the slapper hard enough to leave little star marks on my skin. But the angle I presented bound on the bed, combined with the unwieldy nature of the bondage position (and equipment) I was in did not make that a possibility without interrupting the flow of the scene. I expect that this will only make for a higher level of intensity when she finally takes the slapper to my backside in the next day or so.

After the fairly heavy sensation play, and the light impact play, I was deep into subspace. I think my Goddess thought I had fallen asleep when she put away the slapper and began marking me with little symbols and words of dominance and love and ownership with one of the Sharpies.

She finished her artwork on my body, and after some caressing, she slowly removed my blindfold and looked into my eyes. I don't know what she was seeing on her side, but I was overwhelmed by the radiance of her beautiful face and dominant energy.

As she eased me out of my trance, we talked about what we had each most enjoyed about our playtime, talked about our evening's exploration of web kink, and talked about our day.

And then, before both of us fell asleep, my Goddess tweeted:

"@SelenasDymion is locked onto the spreader bar right now. I think it will remain overnight. Wouldnt want him wandering off, now would I?"

"You will submit" by IshaNee

What I'm wearing right now (E)

My Goddess texted me mid-afternoon yesterday that she was "in a mood." That usually means that she's feeling especially possessive and dominant. It's a not-so-subtle signal that I should be coming back home properly submissive and ready to do her bidding. She also knows that from the time she lets me know that she's "in a mood", my sense of anticipation grows exponentially until I find out what she has in mind.

We both came back home quite late, and after a short chat to catch up on our respective days at work, we headed to the bedroom ready to call it a day. My Goddess was quick to grab the metal handcuffs off her bedside table, and lock them around my wrists. Perhaps echos of Tuesday evening's overnight bondage. And at that moment, I found out what she had in mind: "Tattoos & Bondage!"

Once I was handcuffed, my Goddess made me lie on my stomach, and attached the cuffs to the headboard of the bed. She then sat on my lower back, and went to work. She took two Sharpies, and spent the next 10-15 minutes visually expressing herself. It was not a tattoo, obviously, but the content was just as heartfelt and powerfully evocative in the emotions it brought up. Dominant and possessive indeed!

After seeing what it looked like in the morning, I remembered vaguely a post I had written quite a while ago, Reminders of so many things:

"The symbolism of the markings goes far beyond the simple gestures and play of putting them on. Both my Goddess and I will be seeing them for days to come, and reminded of this little scene. Reminded of the significance of the markings. Reminded of the nature of our relationship. Reminded of our love for each other."

And those words are as true today as they were almost two years. So for the past 24 hours, I've been wearing my Goddess' markings with much pride, satisfaction, and a lasting feeling of subspace. And I know these deep feelings will remain with me over the course of the next few days, until the last vestiges of last night's expression of my Goddess' dominance and possessiveness finally wash off.

Kitara's Prize, by Chaypeta, via Lunar Black

Restraint... without restraints (E)

Artwork courtesy of Neshemadarkangel and Lunar Black

It was a few nights ago. I woke up briefly in the middle of the night, a BDSM scene vividly fresh in my mind from the dream that was interrupted. My reality was sleeping on my right side, at a slight angle relative to my Goddess, with her right leg over my thighs, the left one over my waist, and my left arm across her torso, held tight at the wrist and forearm by her hands.

I was restrained... virtually bound immobile by her limbs. I had woken up because of the slight discomfort (how long had I been in this position?), but being trapped in such a manner was so erotically charged in a D/s kind of way that I didn't want to move. And I didn't want to risk waking up my Goddess.

I felt the weight of her legs pinning me down. I felt the tension one of her hands and the weight of her left arm exerted in keeping the tension in my arm. The D/s sensuality of the immobility gave way, after deciding to try to fall back to sleep without moving, to a deep sense of surrender. And then subspace. Have you ever fallen asleep drifting into subspace? It's a very deep, very submissive, very peaceful sinking into sleep.

Sleep was overtaking me again. In those brief twilight moments, I had flashbacks to one of the last times my Goddess had me bound and stretched in a large closet that served as a small makeshift dungeon. Blindfolded, wrists bound to the upper clothes rack, ankles bound together, my ankles and knees bearing my weight. She left me there, waiting in the dark, for her return from taking a shower. She would later open the door and check on me briefly to make sure I was OK. After a pull on the nipple clamps, a delicate kiss on the lips, and a teasing warning not to go anywhere, she closed the door again, and once more left me in isolation while she was off to do her make-up.

I drifted into sleep for perhaps a few seconds or few minutes, but peeked into consciousness again just long enough to have brief remembrances of scenes when I dozed off while my Goddess had left me in a hogtie for an extended period of time. Again taken back to one of those falling asleep while bound and disoriented in subspace moments. I can't describe it. Some of those overwhelmingly powerful feelings and emotions that make such an impact on us that we try to recapture, re-experience, re-feel, re-live them again and again.

The discomfort passed. I fell asleep for good. I was woken up only several hours later by my alarm. Neither one of us had moved.

Artwork courtesy of Famio and the Museum of Female Domination Art

Playtime emotions and femdom imagery (E)

Image courtesy of Written in the Water via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

In the plethora of images in print and on the web related to BDSM in general, and female domination in particular, most are action-shots depicting an activity, a fetish, or perhaps a moment from a scene. While many are hot and enticing, most of them leave me somewhat unsatisfied. They feel not quite complete. In part, I think it's because they capture a certain physicality of what is depicted, but little else. Of course, I may be asking for too much from a single image.

However, occasionally, there are pictures that capture much more than a physical moment... they capture an emotional one. And that makes them rich and powerful, and they open the floodgates to remembrances of emotions lived before. The image that opens this post is one of them.

It brought back a flood of memories and emotions from some playtime my Goddess and I had a few weeks back, which I refer to in my last post, the product review on the Blue Spiral glass dildo. We had gone out a date where she looked absolutely stunning in a pin-stripe jacket over a nice white top, sexy dark grey tights, and her hot black high-heel boots. We had a wonderful dinner at a local Mexican restaurant, and when we returned home, it was clear she was feeling dominantly feisty.

Upon our return, after the daily placement and locking of my leather collar, my Goddess told me to fetch the leather wrist and ankle cuffs. She had them strapped and locked on my limbs in record time. Then she told me to pull out a leather blindfold, and to wait for her in bed, naked, on my stomach. My rapidly rising anticipation could barely keep up with the speed at which things were unfurling.

Once my Goddess walked into the bedroom, she quickly slipped and buckled the blindfold over my head, attached the wrist cuffs to the headboard of the bed and the ankle cuffs, about 30" apart, to the footboard of the bed. She sat on my lower back, reached under my chest, and began to torment my nipples with her fingers and her nails. Already sinking into subspace rapidly, I dropped even faster as I lay there bound and helpless, the pain from my Goddess teasing my nipples focused and amplified by the absence of distraction without sight. Her weight pressing down on me added even further to limiting my movements and my sense of helplessness.

Abruptly, she got off me, and walked away from the bed. The echoes of the sensations of the NT and her sitting on me,the feeling of her head and hair over my shoulder, eased the transition to the stark isolation of being alone and bound in the bedroom somewhat suddenly.

But it wasn't long before my Goddess returned. As I felt her to the side of the bed, a cold sensation came up my spine, over my shoulder, up my neck, and to my lips. Deep into subspace, I couldn't focus on what it was that she was teasing me with until she gently forced it beyond my lips and barely into my mouth. I then recognized the shape of the glass dildo that had been on her bedside table for many weeks, waiting to be used when the time and the mood was just right.

She pulled it out of my mouth, circling my lips again with it. I felt my Goddess standing next to me for a short while before she sat on the bed. A few seconds later, her fingers gently began lubricating a path for the Blue Spiral glass dildo down below. It wasn't long before I felt the pressure of the dildo against my anal opening, and I tried to relax best I could. Through little turning and in-and-out movements, my Goddess teasingly and skillfully worked the dildo inside me. In brief moments of focus as I kept feeling waves of subspace and deep intimacy wash over me, I could feel and hear her playful enjoyment to my reactions, to my movements, to my sounds.

Surprisingly quickly, the glass dildo was all the way in, and then she delighted in pulling it out a bit and pushing it back in to the hilt, and turning it inside me with the small knob/handle that is one of the characteristics of the Blue Spiral. Her movements took more amplitude and my reactions grew greater, and the latter grew even more as my Goddess' enthusiasm inspired her into more forceful movements.

She diminished of the intensity of the anal play over a few minutes, and then she stopped all together. Once more, rather abruptly, she got off the bed, told me not to lose the dildo, and walked away from me. I suddenly got worried through the fog of subspace that the glass dildo would slip out, but to my great surprise, it did not. In retrospect, the head of the dildo being quite a bit larger than the shaft, the dildo stayed in without any effort on my part.

I was taken out of subspace reverie by the smoke blown into my face by my Goddess. I had not heard her come back. Either she lit her cigarette in the next room, or I was so out of it that I didn't hear the lighter. Either way, she placed the cold metal ashtray on my back, sat on the bed next to my bound body, and enjoyed her cigarette, running her nails along my back, and occasionally, blowing more smoke in my direction. Every few drags, she would grab my hair, pull my head back and to the side, and exhale inside my mouth. When she does so, I know she expects me to take in all of her smoke, and I did my best not to let any escape until it was my turn to exhale. Twice during her smoke break, she brought the cigarette to my lips, forcing me to take a drag.

Barely a few seconds after my Goddess put out her cigarette in the ashtray on my back, I feel a sharp, hot impact on my lower back. It was the unmistakable impact of wax, heavy, hot, almost reverberating. By the smell, I could tell exactly which of the candles she was using too. This was one of those fragrant candles that we used to make the entire house smell nice. I think it was the cucumber-melon one. This would explain the intense heat of the drops that she was pouring across my back. The fragrance candles tend to have a higher oil content, and unless dropped from way high, they hit the skin much hotter. My Goddess regaled herself with the range of reactions I had to the drops, from deep moans in less sensitive areas like the back of my shoulders, to sharp inhales and exhales in more sensitive areas in fleshier parts like behind the kidneys.

One drop came down after another, sometimes in quick succession, sometimes with a few seconds in between. Sometimes she dropped them in a linear pattern, sometimes she dropped them in a seemingly random way. In between and during, my Goddess kept returning to teasing me and tormenting me with thrusts and turns of the dildo. If I would not have been so deeply lost in subspace, it might have all been overwhelming.

At one point, it all came to a gentle end. The hot wax stopped dripping. The glass dildo was gently removed. My Goddess ran her hands over my back, making something of a mess from the very soft wax. Oil-based scented candles tend to leave very soft, if not quite liquid, wax residue (easier but messier to remove.) And then, she tenderly caressed my hair and came in close to give me a long hug as part of the usual aftercare.

It is this very time that came back to me when I saw the picture opening this post. It spoke to me of a very special moment, full of intimacy and satisfaction. It felt like recovery from intense emotions and sensations. Of course, it has none of the toys or gear, or mess, from our playtime. But the look on the woman's face is just what I would have expected to see on my Goddess' face if I could have looked at her. And his body posture is just what I imagine mine would look like slowly coming out of subspace.

My mind wandering to that evening, I was reminded vividly of the intimacy of anal play with my Goddess. Of the energy she emanates when she expresses her dominance is such a physical way. Of how magical it is to feel her enjoyment during our playtime.

Image courtesy of Hello High Heels via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

She wants me home when she wakes up (E)

Image courtesy of FLR - The Future of Relationship via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

So... I had a few errands to run this morning. Since I always wake up quite a bit earlier than my Goddess, the idea was that I would be out of the house and back before she got up. Wearing the locked leather collar would not be an issue this early in the morning in this wet and cold weather.

Two things changed the plans. The first are the bound hands. Last night, before going to sleep, my Goddess asked for some rope, and bound my wrists with a simple 7-coil column tie for the night. The tie was constraining and inescapable, with just enough room to allow for some movement during sleep and to never cut off circulation. Once my wrists were tied, she ordered me into one of her favorite sleeping positions. I was to be on my side facing her, and place my thighs under her knees as she lay on her back. Then, she grabbed the area of rope between my wrists, pulled it over to her chest, and gently fell asleep.

The previous evening, I was placed in a very similar situation but with metal handcuffs instead of rope. Much earlier in the evening, right after dinner, my Goddess had asked for the handcuffs so that I would be bound during our TV watching. She also took the opportunity to use me as furniture. I sat in the corner of the sofa, she lay back against me, and she had me loop my arms around her, so that I had no choice but to hold her and hug her throughout our time watching television. For as long as she wanted. The only interruptions came when she wanted to smoke, at which point I moved to the floor at her feet and held the ashtray. And my Goddess left the handcuffs on for the night's sleep.

This morning, she woke up briefly as I was going to get out of bed. I thought that she would remove the rope keeping my wrists bound, but she told me that we would catch up on errands later. She wanted me here, at home, when she woke up. With that, she fell back to sleep, and I quietly walked away from the bedroom.

So here I am at home, prisoner of my Goddess' love and dominance. My long house leash is attached to my locked leather collar (so that she can tug and pull me in if she needs anything), with my ever-present Eternity Collar below/under, my wrists are tied in a beautiful column tie, and I am catching up to our blog... slowly. The tightness of the column tie only allows me to type with one hand. You probably have no idea how challenging it is to select text for cut-and-paste into Word for final spell-checking (I find Blogger's annoying), or for hyperlinking with just one hand, unless you've been placed in that predicament. Just opening the laptop was a bit of a challenge (fingers only on one side until I could open the laptop far enough to wedge my left elbow to leverage the top and bottom open.)

I will try to do more productive things around the house, but the range of things I can do is rather limited. Even taking down my underwear and pulling them back on after using the toilet is a mini-ordeal. Try pulling up the back of your underwear with only 1-1.25" between your wrists. Hand-washing dishes is impossible.

I went to wake up my Goddess at her appointed cut-off time, but she decided to sleep-in a little longer, so I ended up another hour in partial bondage. It gave me time to nearly finish this post.

Once my Goddess did get up for our morning ritual, I let her know that I would be unable to present her with her coffee with the nipple clamps (as is the routine) while my wrists were still bound. She looked at me with a wonderfully dominant grin, and decided that was alright. "I'm enjoying my rope" she told me playfully.

I love being in bondage for my Goddess' enjoyment. I love being in her control. I love being her play toy. Of course, part of it is about how it fulfills my need for submission, for my submission to her, for her attention, for my Goddess to express and display her dominance toward me. But even more, I love to make her smile. I love to make her feel that I belong to her. I love to make her feel sexy. I love to give her the opportunity to express and display her dominance. I love to make her feel that I am totally devoted to her. I love to make her feel that I would do anything for her, and do it with all my heart. And this is why we so enjoy anything we do together.

Image courtesy of Femdom Proper via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

PS: If you try the overnight wrist bondage with a column tie, make sure there is sufficient room once you secure the knot in order make sure that it will not cut-off circulation even as the arm positions change during sleep. More coils gives you more flexibility while keeping the tie secure. And if you try going overnight with handcuffs, make sure they have a locking mechanism, otherwise pressure on them may inadvertendly click them too tight, which may affect circulation. Play hard but play safe...