Rituals and symbolic gestures (E)

Image courtesy of Cuckold Chronicle via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

I always find it fascinating to observe, and reflect on, the evolution of rituals and symbolic gestures in D/s relationships. From actions that begin rather innocently and become daily or weekly protocols, to things are given a significant amount of forethought and implemented as definitive symbols of domination or submission, D/s rituals and symbolism have inevitably evolve over time.

I look back with much pride and delight on what has come to be since Goddess Selena collared me several years back. The deepening of our relationship and interactions has been reflected in the D/s rituals, protocols, and habits we have developed. These actions, gestures, behaviors, and overall D/s dynamics have also helped keep us grounded through the vagaries of everyday life, in addition to providing us very enjoyable time with each other.

Image courtesy of Lunar Black - Desire for Submission and More...

So here is a list that I would describe as a dozen of our most significant rituals and symbols of Goddess Selena’s dominance over me, and my submission to her.

1- I wear an Eternity Collar 24/7/365. Goddess Selena retains the special tools for it (which she tells me she lost), and for all practical purposes, it can only be eventually removed if/when she decides it.

2- Goddess Selena places and locks an additional collar around my neck whenever I come back home from the outside world, and it does not come off until I must leave her presence again.

3- On any morning that we have time for it, "Coffee & Clamps!" is how we start the day. I must prepare and serve Goddess Selena her coffee (and refills), and I must be wearing nipple clamps until she is done with her morning coffee. I must also be leashed so she can keep me close by while she enjoys her coffee(s) and cigarette(s). The “Coffee & Clamps!” ritual usually does not end until her third coffee of the morning, and the nipple clamps only come off then.

4- I must be on the floor at Goddess Selena’s feet, holding an ashtray, any time she wants to smoke.

5- Any time I greet my Goddess (i.e.: when she wakes up in the morning or when I return from work), I must kneel before her and kiss each of her feet in an adoring manner.

6- On any morning that there is an expectation that Goddess Selena will sleep in later than me (which is the case most of the time), I must wear have the long house leash locked to my leather or rubber collar (whichever one she locked around my neck previously) so she knows I remain in the house. She will tug on the leash when she wakes up, pulling me in to her and letting me know she is ready for our “Coffee & Clamps!” ritual.

7- At her whim, when we have time to watch some of her favorite TV shows together, she will place me in bondage and use me as furniture for the duration of the evening. Usually, I while remain in bondage through the night’s sleep.

8- When at home, I must fetch, prepare, and serve all drinks, meals, and snacks for Goddess Selena. I remain at her beck and call for anything else she may require at any time.

9- Once Goddess Selena has locked a second collar (in additional to the permanent Eternity Collar) around my neck upon my return from the outside world, she keeps the keys, and only she can unlock/remove the collar, at the time of her choosing. This means that if the weather is right, I may have to run errands outside the house for her with the locked collar hidden under appropriate clothing.

10- The location of my Smart Phone can be tracked by Goddess Selena through a provider-based GPS system at all times. She can verify and keep track of my location at any time, and if necessary, I must account for my movements to her at any time if I did not warn her beforehand.

11- I must submit to Goddess Selena’s sexual and dominant needs at any time.

12- My own sexual/submissive needs are only met at the convenience and whims of Goddess Selena. This includes not ever providing myself pleasure until/unless she tells me.

Image courtesy of My Private F.

I will be interesting to see how these rituals, protocols, and habits will change over time. This post is as much an opportunity for benchmarking and looking back in the future as it is about thinking about where we are at the present time. Perhaps in a year, there will be another post, starting off with a link to this entry, talking about what else we have added to what we do each day as part of our D/s relational dynamics.

Image found on Thy Shall Love Thy Mistress, original source is uncertain.

More about feet (E)

Image: a recent purchase by Goddess Selena

I thought the best way to follow-up my last post would be to... talk some more about feet. My Goddess' gorgeous feet in particular.

In addition to the on-my-knees foot kissing welcome my Goddess requires every time I get back to her after any kind of absence (coming back from work or from an errand), or first thing in the morning, she has also expected me to paint her toe nails on the weekend, every second week or so. While that has involved a bit of a learning curve, with lots of improvement yet to come, I think my technique has been steadily getting better.

Image: "Silver Dazzle" on Goddess Selena's toe nails

I must admit, I've been enjoying this latest additional duty. Of course, I enjoy everything that involves taking care of my Goddess. But beyond that, there is something very erotically submissive about being at her feet, sitting on the floor, and attending to her. And making her feel beautiful. Another small duty that reinforces our D/s dynamics.

My Goddess exercising her dominance over me... rituals reinforcing the nature of our D/s relationship... submitting to the needs and desires of my Goddess... definitely good times. Hot, fun, symbolically powerful, and often bringing about a small dose of subspace for me, this recent emphasis on foot play has been a wonderful addition in our lives.

Image courtesy of Slaves of the Goddess

You never know when something new... (E)

B. Polaczek via he stoops to worship

... will come along.

A few weeks ago, my Goddess decided that I should kneel before her and kiss her feet whenever I get back to her after we've been apart for a while.

So since her decree, I've gotten on my knees before her and kissed her feet with much reverence any time I come back from work, return from an errand, or see her awake for the first time in the morning.

In retrospect, for a couple whose D/s relational dynamics already include a number of daily rituals, it may be surprising that this simple and straightforward recent addition was only introduced several years into our relationship. And yet, I see it as a very positive thing, beyond the enjoyment my Goddess gets from it, above the thrill I feel doing it, and on level with the very powerful symbolism of the gesture.

Found on i'm Her husband and She is in charge

As modest of a physical action as it may seem to some, especially as it relates to some of our other activities, I see it as an encouraging sign that we're still growing, still exploring, still open to looking for things (large or small) that may appeal to us, and still willing to make changes. OK, so we're still relatively early and young into our relationship... a few years are not a few decades. And yet, we all know that it's all too easy to get into deep ruts in a matter of months.

My Goddess felt so strongly about this, and we have very enthusiastically embraced this 2-3 times a day ritual. For something that so powerfully reinforces our D/s dynamics, it's kind of surprising that we lived without it for so long. That being said, extended foot kissing has always been one of our favorite activities, and comes up several times a week.

You never know what you'll come across if you just keep exploring. And with minds wide open, a relationship never needs to grow old.

Image courtesy of Let the Sin Begin

I love hotels (E)

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Predicament love making (E)

Image courtesy of http://soumis.tumblr.com/ via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

My Goddess places the leather collar around my neck. She is sitting on the bed, and I am kneeling before her. She very deliberately clicks the lock in the back of the collar. The wrist cuffs are next. Gently but firmly, she straps them around one wrist, and then the other. She reaches for the small locks, and clicks those in place. Finally, the ankle cuffs go on, and those are locked on also.

She asks for the double-ended clips. I start standing up to fetch them, but a curt "Ah!" from my Goddess stops me in my track. I get back my knees instinctively... I should have known. The carpet is very rough on my knees while I crawl over to the toy bag on all-fours, but I still return to her as quickly as possible.

My Goddess clips the wrist cuffs together in front of me, and then the ankle cuffs. I remain on my knees as she reclines against the headboard. I reach for one of her naked feet with my bound hands, and pull it toward me. I begin kissing each of her toes gently. I do it a second time before moving to the top of her foot. She tells me that she loves feeling my "little nose" as I'm covering her foot with kisses. After a dozen kisses over her foot, I come back to the toes. I kiss each one of them, and then again in the reverse order. I go back to the top of the foot for another dozen kisses. I finish with two more passes over the toes. I move on to the other foot. I do the same pattern. She remarks upon the softness of my nose again, rubbing against her skin while I inundate her foot with kisses.

I can feel my Goddess totally in the zone. I'm also in the zone, but in a zone at the opposite end of the spectrum. She moves away from the headboard and toward me. From my kneeling position, I move my head forward as her hips move close to me. She opens her legs, and puts her feet on my shoulders. I gently begin to lap at her. She lies back completely, but on her way down, she takes hold of my hair, pulling me in just a bit deeper into her. It is barely just a few minutes before she reaches a thunderous orgasm.

Upon reaching the peak of her climax, my Goddess pushes on my head slightly so that I can no longer reach her with my tongue. She crosses her legs behind my neck, forcing my head to lie against her lower abs. I can feel the power of the tremors racking her body.

As the waves of pleasure quiet down, my Goddess uncrosses her legs and lets me go. She sits upright in the bed, grabs hold of the central D-ring of the locked leather collar, and pulls me up and toward her. I try to climb onto the bed, but it is unusually high, and with my feet bound, I need to put my hands down on the bed, and a come up with a short hop.

She keeps pulling on the collar, and I am forced to adapt and change position quickly. She lies back, bringing me over her. I almost fall on top of her. I catch myself, planting my bound hands over her head. She smiles. The clipped wrist cuffs and ankle cuffs make for a very awkward position. She knows. She still wants me inside her. She reaches for my nipples... hard. Something else is very hard. She knows that too. And she wants it inside her. I slip my cuffed hands under her neck, right above her shoulders. With the slightly improved position, I gently slide inside her as she guides my penis in. She returns to teasing and hurting my nipples. The angle is still uncomfortable, and she loves it. She hurts me more. I try to find a better fit by moving my knees a bit, and crossing my feet, still clipped together. She has no patience for my maneuvering, and digs her nails into my nipples even harder. I exhale loudly and plunge into her almost fully.

I'm still in an awkward position, and my Goddess absolutely loves it. She shows no mercy, and gives me no choice. This is how she wants me to fuck her, and she increases the torment and the torture of my nipples. Clearly, I am expected to reach climax like this, and give her what she wants. That's OK because I so want to. I so have to.

I'll take from my Goddess' reactions that the position, and what I did, worked for her, although I know my predicament was a significant part of her enjoyment. On my side, despite some less than ideal positioning, it did not take much time to reach a massive orgasm (I'm almost feeling the tremors again just wrtting about it.)

I kept shaking as I bent my elbows and pressed my chest against her, with my cuffed hands still under her neck. I uncross my cuffed feet and once more try to find a comfortable position while my heart rate and breath slow down.

A few minutes later, after some cleaning up, and my Goddess enjoying my hobbled walk to the bathroom and back, both of us are spent, and ready to crash and fall asleep. She leaves the bondage gear on me. I lie on my side, facing my Goddess. Facing away from me, she snuggles, backing into me. She reaches over to pull my arms over her as we put the final touches on our spooning position. She securely grabs the D-rings of each wrist cuff, looping her thumbs through them, ensuring that I can't move very much, and we almost immediately drift off to sleep.

Taking what she wants (E)

Image courtesy of Anais and the Ninja

I can't express how much I love it when my Goddess takes what she wants from me.

This evening, we're both lying in bed. She's about to turn over to go to sleep, I'm still working on my laptop. She reaches over to grab the central D-ring on my leather collar, and she pulls me in for her good night kiss.

She doesn't release the hold... we kiss for a few minutes... tenderly, passionately, lovingly. I hold my upper body up on one elbow, and use the other hand to caress her soft skin all over. We never have enough of each other when we kiss, but eventually, she lets go of the collar. We break off the kissing delicately. She turns over, and pulls the covers over herself. I help arrange the covers a bit. And then, she's asleep.

The taking of the affection she needs... an expression of her dominance in its simplest form...

Morning-after foot worship (E)

Artwork courtesy of http://bendoverloverboy.tumblr.com/

I was trying to take small, slow steps preparing my Goddess' coffee so that I wouldn't wake her up. And also because small, slow steps take less of a toll on my skin when I'm wearing locked ankle cuffs that are clipped together with a 4-inch clip.

After a very memorable evening, and some even more memorable play, my Goddess left the clipped and locked ankle cuffs on me, as well as the locked wrist cuffs, when we went to sleep. Of course, the usual locked collar had been around my neck for hours already, and I don't think there will ever be a night that she'll Iet me go to sleep without it.

The minutes passed, and it was getting close to the time to wake up my Goddess. I wanted to make sure that everything was ready for her. When the time came, I gently woke her up from the side of the bed, kneeling on the floor, and then after she sat up against the pillows, I handed her the cup of coffee. A sip or two of coffee later, I lit her cigarette and gave it to her as I sat on the floor, making sure her ashtray was conveniently within her reach.

We chatted about the fantastic twelve hours we had just shared, looking back on it with enthusiasm and fondness. About 10 minutes later, my Goddess requested a refill of her coffee, and after slowly going over to get it and bringing it back to her (my ankles were still bound), I sat back down on the ground at her side, lit another cigarette for her, and we talked to more.

When my Goddess was done smoking, I came up on my knees, reached over the side of the bed, and I found her left foot, which I began kissing. I kissed each one of her toes, from the big toe to the small one, and back again, moved on to the top of her foot with many little kisses before coming back to her toes for two more passes. And then I moved on to the other foot for the same.

I just love worshipping my Goddess' feet. And she seems to truly enjoy it when I do. But there was something special about doing it that morning. I don't know if I was still in subspace from the play just a few hours previous, if I just had not had the opportunity to relax and focus on her feet like that for a while, or if it was just a mood thing. But the more intensely I kissed and licked her feet and toes, the more I needed it to do. With each pass, I kissed them more deeply, more passionately. Each time I finished a foot, I decided I would do it one more time on the other. I lost count after doing each foot half-a-dozen times. And I needed to do more... longer... deeper... more intensely. I couldn't get away from her feet... from her.

But eventually, nature called, and my Goddess needed to go use the bathroom. I broke away from her feet as she sat on the edge of the bed before getting up. As she changed position, one leg caressed the side of my face, and I couldn't stop myself from bringing my lips to the soft skin of her inner thighs as she paused before standing up. The gentle kiss slowed her down for a moment, and I kissed her again in the same spot. My Goddess leaned back, and I couldn't resist kissing the tender flesh of her inner thigh, from the inside of her knee to just a bit shy of her sacred feminine. Infatuated, intoxicated, I couldn't get away, and clearly, she didn't want me to stop.

Within a few minutes though, she really needed to go, and I pulled away from her. After she returned from the bathroom, my Goddess stood nearby, teasingly, dominantly. I was compelled to go to her, and I crawled over to her on all fours. I quickly made my way to her, and she ran her fingers through my hair once I reached her. As she pulled her hand away after a playing with my hair for a while, I moved my head against her leg, feeling her lean back against me.

After rubbing her leg against me for a few seconds, my Goddess straddled my head, and then moved over my back. She sat on the small of my back, and soon after, leaned back, her back against mine. She adjusted her position a bit, and then hit one of my favorite positions ever, an incredibly sensual, erotic, and dominant position. She reclined with all her weight on me, again her back against my back, with one leg up, her neck over my head, her head and hair past my head. I did my best to balance her while I was under her on all fours, supporting her, carrying her, my Goddess, my dominant Queen. To add to the beauty of the pose, she dropped her arms behind her, past my ribs, and harshy pinched my nipples, challenging me not move so much she would fall off.

I wish a photographer had been there to capture the moment, the pose, the symbolism in the position, freezing in time a moment of power exchange capturing our sexual and relational dynamics so exquisitely. Alas, it will have to suffice that it will be one of those moments and rainbow of emotions etched in my soul forever.

But all this was the morning follow-up after a very special evening with my Goddess. How did we get here? What happened previously to lead to this peak? Next post, friends... next post...

A new ritual (E)

Artwork courtesy of Flat Earth Social Club

My Goddess and I have a number of rituals that take place during the course of the day. Some of them happen at very specific moments of the day in terms of time, such as our morning rituals, and others will happen in a more circumstancial manner, such as when we get back home for a day's work.

These rituals are both powerful in their symbolism, and effective in creating and maintaining the mood and the energy of the D/s flow of our relationship. They are gestures of service, respect, and/or worship on my part, and reinforcement of my Goddess' role and power on hers.

Several of the moment-specific rituals happen first thing in the morning, every morning. On weekday mornings, the routine mainly goes like this:

• I wake up 5-10 minutes before my Goddess;
• I prepare her coffee;
• I get back to the bedroom;
• I turn on the television at a favorite channel;
• I wake her up gently;
• I offer the coffee to her;
• I sit on the floor next to her side of the bed;
• I light her cigarette and hand it to her;
• I hold her ashtray;
• during smoking time, we chat about how we slept, and what's coming up during the day;
• once we are done smoking, I draw her bath;
• while she is finishing her coffee, I turn on any appliance she requests for the care of her hair;
• and finally, I offer my Goddess to help with anything that might make her preparation for the new day faster and easier.

Recently, a new ritual has taken its place in our routine. About two weeks ago, out of the blue, just after smoking time and before going off to draw my Goddess' bath, I was inspired to kneel at the side of the bed and I started to gently kiss her feet. Tender little kisses... many tender little kisses... one for each toe... and back again in reverse order... a dozen or so over the top of her foot... moving toward the ankle... and back with another dozen... going over her toes again... and then moving on to the other foot...

My Goddess liked that. In fact, she really liked it. So much did she enjoy it that she told me right then and there that she wanted this to become part of our morning ritual. "We have to do that every morning", she said.

Kissing my Goddess' feet. So simple... so symbolic... so sensual... so significant... so D/s... I missed it only once since, at the start of a day when we both had much on our mind, and the following morning she sternly reminded me that I had missed the previous morning. I felt terrible. There is no worse feeling than to disappoint one's Goddess.

Those few moments of kissing my Goddess' feet are so magical. They are sensual moments, when I feel the softness our her skin, and smell the sweet natural fragrance of her body and her feet. They are submissive moments, when I kneel before her to serve and bring her delicate sensual pleasure. They are moments of worship, when I pay respect and tribute to her role and her power in our relationship. They are moments of reflections, when I empty my mind and think of nothing else but how wonderful she is as my friend, my dominant, my love, and my soulmate. They are moments of excitement, when the action of kissing her feet and the sensations I get bring about flashbacks of moments, play, and scenes that we have shared recently. They are also moments of excitement when I remember other recent foot-related imagery, such as my Goddess wearing her spiked heel boots to work on a previous day.

All that during a short period of less than two minutes. But even more important, kissing my Goddess' feet has become a key part of a routine that re-establishes and maintains the order of things in our relationship each and every day. It is a ritual that confirms and reinforces my place and her place, my role and her role, my service and her acceptance of that service. It is a ritual that resets at a high level the D/s energy first thing in the morning, for the whole morning, until we need to go each our own way for our professional lives. It is a ritual that makes its mark until the time we both get back from work and pick up where we left.

A simple ritual that is so charged symbolically, simple gestures that are so meaningful and so impactful, and now, kissing my Goddess' feet every morning is a part of our D/s lives that we can't live without.

The little (BDSM-y) things (E)

Artwork courtesy of Flat Earth Social Club... reminding me of moments when my Goddess calls me her toy...

I've enjoyed reading in the comments of the last few days how much some of you appreciate the value of the little things that make a relationship so special. At the same time, going back to my Goddess' posts, she is far too modest in the description and feelings of what she has done for me lately. So among all the little things she does that I enjoy so much, here are a few of the BDSM-oriented little things, most of which have only happened or come into their own in the last two weeks, that not only keep me in a constant state of intoxicated love and submissiveness to her, but increase my passion and addiction to her each and every day...

1. She wakes me up in the middle of the night with some NT and CBT because she needs me to provide her with sexual service...
2. She enjoyed me kissing her feet so much a few mornings ago, something that I did only when the mood seemed right, that she told me that kissing her feet was now a required part of our morning ritual...
3. She wakes me up in the middle of the night with some NT and CBT because... well, just because I'm there, and I'm her toy, and she feels like hurting me, and she wants to hear and feel my reactions...
4. She finds an opportunity every single day to pull me in by the leash very close to her and telling me "mine!"...
5. She decided that we couldn't have our weekend afternoon nap without me having some colors and and some marks on my bottom, so she warmed me up with a variety of paddles, and then used the cane until she was happy with her artwork...
6. She very rarely misses an opportunity to remind me of her control over me with some impromptu NT, regardless of where we are or what we are doing...
7. She always makes me feel that she enjoys the placing and locking of the leather collar on me each day, and me wearing the collar until the next time we leave our house, at least as much as I do...
8. And I just melt when, after she's locked the collar and I start pulling away slowly, she reaches over quickly to grab a hold of one of the D-rings, and she pulls me back in for a kiss... or two... or a dozen...
9. When she corrects me with playful dominant indignity that she's always right...
10. Anytime she pulls on my hair... just because...

When I'm missing her, "...I simply remember my favorite things..."