"... when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
-- When Harry met Sally

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
-- Carl Jung
Showing posts with label nexus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nexus. Show all posts

Friday, July 16, 2010

Of candles and clothespins (E)

Image courtesy of Thumper's Portfolio, found through http://dishevelleddomina.tumblr.com/

Locked leather collar on... wrists locked and clipped in leather cuffs... same for the ankles... blindfold on... lying on my back on the bed... my Goddess leaves me for a few moments to rummage through our toys.

The rapid descent into subspace began the second my Goddess asked for the bondage gear. Each new piece she put on me, locked, and clipped brought me down another flight of stairs into the depths of subspace. And then there's the wait. The delicious anxiety and excitement of the wait. What is she in the mood for? What is she looking for? What will she come back with? What plans does she have for her pet?

My Goddess returned to my side, sat on my mid-section facing toward my legs, and began some CBT. Those nails... god I love those nails... scratching, digging, and cutting into me. I can't avoid reacting. I am slammed by the dominant vibe coming from my Goddess having fun hurting me.

She stops for an instant. And then I feel her fingers pinching a fold of skin. As she lets go, I start feeling the pressure of what can only be a clothespin. It's not all that unpleasant at the beginning, but rapidly the sensation becomes increasingly sharp. I soon forget about the first clothespin as the second is applied in the same manner. And a third. And more. I lose count...

Around the testicules, along my shaft, my Goddess has fun finding sensitive areas that induces a reaction she would enjoy. The clothespins may be creating a pretty pattern, or not, I have no idea. But I could feel her enjoyment to my vulnerablity and my reactions and the sounds I made, even without a word.being spoken on either side.

After a little while of my Goddess combining CBT and clothespin art, suddenly, she stops. No more nails, no more clothespins, no more tugging on the clothespins. Silence. Numbness. Sharpness. And then, she begins to remove the clothespins. One-by-one. And each one coming off creates a searing sensations that, despite the bondage, has my hips come off the bed. She loves it. The air is permeated with the fragrance of her dominance. Her inner sadist was out and having a great time.

After the last clothespin comes off, my Goddess gets off my mid-section, and I hear her flick a lighter. Maybe 10-15 seconds later, I fell her lean over me. No smoking happening. By the time I made the realization that she wasn't smoking, I fell the first drop of wax crash against my chest.

She had been dying to do some wax play for weeks, and the opportunity and time had not come up. Now was an opportune time. My Goddess moves the candle around, dropping wax in an area that ranged from the upper chest and shoulders down to the bottom of the rib cage. Of course, the highlight moments were the hits on, or close to, the nipples. I get shudders now just recalling the intense sensation of a direct hit on one of the nipples. And it seemed to me that the wax from that candle melted especially hot.

The impact of the heat almost makes it feel like the wax continues to sink below the skin before it cools off and solidifies. It is a sharp, deep sensation that reverberates through my body as it becomes duller in its epicenter. As with the clothepins, my mind doesn't move off the searing pain because the latter dissipates, but because there's another drop that hits a few seconds later. And another one.

Wax play is always very special in its own way. Under the skillful hands and devious mind of my Goddess, it's an activity that inevitably brings me into what I've called before the Nexus, a terribly wonderful point at which I don't know if I can take any more, but I so don't want it to stop. And she is just so adept at taking me there. She loves taking me there. I say that because I can feel how much fun she has taking me there.

Shortly after blowing out the candle, my Goddess removes my blindfold, unclips the cuffs and removes some of the larger chunks of wax that had formed. But that minute or so was enough downtime. During all this play, my Goddess had worked herself into a frenzy of sexual excitement. And she needs me to quench her hunger. So as quickly as I gather my wits about me, coming out of the fog of subspace, I switch from being a passive play toy to an active role of sexual servitude. And so the night went on...

Over the course of the next few days, I kept finding more wax on my body, despite my best efforts to catch all of it before getting into the shower the morning after. Wax play is always messy. No matter how careful you try to be, you always keep finding little bits of wax on yourself for a few days, and around your play area for a few weeks. But each time I find another little piece of wax somewhere, I can't help but to smile, and recall the sensations and the imagery of those extraordinarily intense, but fleeting, moments spent in the dominant loving care of my Goddess.

Image courtesy of femdomtime.com, found again through http://dishevelleddomina.tumblr.com

Friday, November 20, 2009

When it just happens... part 2 (E)

Artwork courtesy of Flat Earth Social Club

Shortly after the unmistakable sound of the lotion bottle being opened, I felt my Goddess come back to the bed, and some pressure against my anal opening. Blindfolded, still adrift in subspace, I couldn't tell whether she had brought in a strap-on or a simple dildo. Not that it really mattered...


Slowly, but relentless, my Goddess was pushing and working the object into me. For what it was worth, I soon recognized the dildo when she turned on the pulsing/vibrating feature, all the better to penetrate me with.
Gradually, forcefully, my Goddess took me with it, exercising the power of her dominance over me.

Once it was all in, she ordered me flat onto the bed, on my belly, and she moved up over my legs a bit, until she was perfectly positioned over my backside. I could feel right away the power of her thrusts into me, and both the excitement and enjoyment they provided her. She leaned over my back and began to bite me in different places, and then reached around to my chest with her hands for a bit of NT, before sitting upright over me again.


Focused on her pleasure taking me, my Goddess hit a groove that I can only describe as harmonic resonance. Every thrust magnified the energy of the next. Like an avalanche picking up momentum, like the acceleration toward terminal velocity jumping out of a plane, my Goddess was building to her climax, fed by my reactions and by the physical sensations.

I knew the nexus was approaching when I felt her hands reach down around my hips and her nails dig into my tender flesh... when I felt her pulling me into her nearly as much as she was pushing into me... when her rhythm became more chaotic...

And then it hit her... Climax. With a capital "C"... Overwhelming for both of us, I kept moaning at the after-tremors I could feel through both the dildo and her legs. An amazing intersection for the two of us, the meeting of intense physical pleasure, dominance, submission, subspace, femdom imagery and power, surrender, conquest, and ecstasy.

As the trembling began to diminish, my Goddess slumped over my back, our breathing fell into rhythm, and it felt like both our hearts beat as one...

Saturday, August 1, 2009

CBT/NT and surreal headspace (E)


BDSM experiences can be so mind-altering in themselves that it shouldn't surprise anymore me that they would feel so surreal when they don't happen in a conventionally conscious and rational state of mind.

Still disoriented from barely being pulled out of unconsciousness, I felt my Goddess' nails tug at my left nipple as I had laid down for a nap with her an undetermined amount of time before. Very quickly I realized that I was in this very strange headspace where I couldn't wake up completely because I had somehow gone straight into subspace from sleeping. If what I was feeling was any indication of what had gone on before gathering my wits in some small part, my Goddess had been at it for a short while, her side by me, altering between CBT and torturing my nipples with a brand new set of nails that felt particularly sharp.

My Goddess is an absolute expert at bringing me to the edge of what I can handle with both activities. This time was no different. What was different, though, was this tenous hold I had on reality, unable to fully get to consciousness, not because I wanted to get back to sleep, but because I was deep into subspace by the time I was waking up.

This surreal, almost supernatural state just intensified when my Goddess brought me to the edge, torturing my left nipple with her nails, almost to the point wher I thought she would open a cut, and biting my right nipple hard. The pain was incredibly intense, the sensation absolutely exquisite, and I reached that magical moment of the nexus where I not only give myself totally to what my Goddess is doing to me, give myself totally to her, but somehow, as I reach that wall, it falls before me, and I want to give her more.

This went on for a quite a while... CBT... one nipple... the other... more CBT... back to both nipples simultaneously... and all over again... sometimes harder... sometimes taking me to the edge... sometimes something less... but generally increasing in intensity each round...

Then, after a few trips to the edge, my Goddess eased off. And she started caressing me. Gently... sometimes with her fingers... sometimes with her nails. Even more than before in an unfamiliar headspace, I felt like I was getting so relaxed, so limp, that I was going to go back to sleep. But in fact, as this strange feeling had overcome me, it started dissipating, and I started to get totally awake as subspace was slowly receeding. And then she kissed me, and I kissed her back... passionately... intensely... desperately...

A disorienting mix of a dream-like sequence and real-time subspace. Or was that real-time subspace intruding into a dream? Whichever it may be, it made for a particularly intense kind of experience, acutely focused yet disorienting, edgy yet relaxing, and of course painful yet wonderful. And mainly because my Goddess was in the mood for it...