My first reaction is... ah, shit... I forgot that these guys have this big ass metal detector. New Courthouse. But I really need these forms from one of the clerks this afternoon.Here goes...
Guard: "Please remove all metal objects and cell phone and put them in there. Wait for me to wave you through."
I empty my pockets, and put my keys, wallet, cell phone, and change into the small bin.
Me: "I'm really sorry about this, but there's a problem... my neck chain... it can't be removed."
Guard: "What?"
Me: "The chain around my neck... it can't be removed..."
Guard: "Why?"
Me: "It's locked."
Guard: "What?"
Me: "The chain... it's locked... only my wife has the key... and she's at work."
A second guard, standing at the entrance of a nearby room chatting with someone, comes over.
Guard 2: "What's going on?"
Guard 1: "He can't take off his chain."
Guard 2: "What?"
Guard 1: "He can't take off the chain around his neck."
The second guard looks at me gravely.
Guard 2: "You have to."
Me: "I can't. It's got a small padlock." I show him. "Only my wife has the key."
A third guard comes over from the same nearby room.
Guard 3: "What's the problem?"
Guard 1: "He can't take off his chain."
Guard 3: "What?"
Guard 2: "It's locked."
I show him the chain and padlock.
Guard 3: "It's locked?"
Guard 2: "It's locked."
Total silence. They look at each other. They look at me. Guard 2 looks at me pretty contemptuously.
Me: "It's a romantic thing..."
More silence.
Me: "It's very symbolic.... it makes us feel close."
Yet more silence.
Guard 1: "Go through. If it goes off, we'll use the wand."
I go through. The alarm goes off. They run the wand over me. It rings over the padlock part of the chain.
Guard 1: "St'alright. You're good."
I pick up my belongings from the basket that went through the X-Ray machine.
Me: "Thank you, gentlemen. You all have a great day."
I could feel their stares following me from behind.
Walking away, I felt part naughty, part exhibitionist. Despite the lack of disclosure, I definitely felt like my Goddess' possession. It made me feel very warm inside. I felt close to her, even if she was a few miles away at work. I felt no shame whatsoever. In a strange kind of way, instead of being embarassed, I felt proud. I belonged. I belonged to her.
