Her scratching post (E)

Artwork courtesy of Brendan Bkr and the Museum of Femdom Art

It just drives me absolutely (submissively) crazy when my Goddess refers to me as her pet... it makes me proud, warm and fuzzy inside, and weak in the knees, all at once. With a small wave of subspace washing over me for a few minutes. Occasionally, she'll also call me her "toy"... same effect. Both terms reinforce my sense of belonging to her, reinforce my sense of the D/s dynamics of our relationship, and it really makes me feel wonderful that she feels like she "owns" me in such a manner.

But while she's never called me that, I often feel like her scratching post. I don't think a day goes by without my Goddess reaching over to inflict some NT, and often some CBT. And I love it. I really, really love it. Technically, I think being used as her scratching post reaffirms my role as her toy...

Even when my Goddess goes a little easier on me, it's often because I'm sore from the previous day's NT. You could say I'm living daily with pain... and it is absolutely intoxicating... an addiction I could not do without.

My release comes at a great price in terms of NT. But it makes the climax so intense that I won't even try to describe it. It is a full body and mind orgasm that leaves me shaking for several minutes, and with tremors up to 30 minutes later. And then my nipples are guaranteed to be sore for at least the next day or two. There may be other collateral damage to me caused by my Goddess allowing me release, but the NT is a constant.

Put aside some of our rituals, there are other moments when my Goddess will feel like exerting control and her dominance through causing me discomfort or pain daily: the occasional hair-pulling, tugging on my leash, pulling on my collar, scratching and pinching my thighs when I'm driving, or if we're in the movie theater, and scratching and digging her nails into my forearms if we are close to each other at informal social functions.

But NT and CBT is a daily constant, and despite my reactions, I never have enough of it. Must be those endorphins... One of these days, I'll probably have to write an entire post on the variety of ways, positions, and circumstances in which my Goddess inflicts NT on me. And I'm sure there's another post to be written just on CBT. In the meantime, I'll just be awaiting with impatience the next moment my Goddess feels like reaching over and using me as her scratching post, whether it's an official designation for me or not.