Domination, Submission, and Love in Life & Dreams

All over the place (E)

2012-01-22T12:58:00.000-08:00

Image courtesy of Loves to Lick via Dishevelled Domina

This quiet morning of staying at home after several weeks of work without a day off is leaving me in a rather unusual kind of mood. My body is enjoying the change of gear and the knowledge that the day will be without hugely pressing issues to attend to and resolve, yet my mind is still racing, with thoughts and mental images all over the place.

I woke up first, and I am still the only one up, in the calm of the early morning, looking forward to spending a delightful and much needed day with my Goddess. Behind the apparent stillness of waiting for a second dawn to break, I am full of anticipation for the rising of my Goddess, a morning at her feet, our “Coffee & Clamps!” ritual, and spending the entire day at her side, doing whatever she’s in the mood for.

Since getting up, I’ve also had this deep, visceral yearning for her to hurt me, in a BSDM/different loving and attention kind of way (wink to Gloria Brame). Being so busy over the last several weeks has given us little time for much more than our rituals. These have been as wonderful and as deeply felt as ever before, continuing to reinforce our D/s relational dynamics, and providing a sense of center in the two of us, our love, and our bond. But I haven’t offered much of an outlet to my Goddess for her affection and her dominance.

Our course, this can change quickly with us, and I know my Goddess has been excitedly waiting for this first day I am completely hers is quite a while.

And true to my present erratic and overdriven mental state, let me share some a number of random and memorable Twitter finds of the past few weeks.

Stunning Twitter images:

From @MayaSinstress. Her website can be found here.

From @MistressKatyaNY. Her website can be found here.

Favorite Twitter quotes:
“Sometimes I read things that others have written and am inspired and jealous, both in equal measure. I love that.” From @Ferns_. Her blog can be found here.

"It's the submissives that show to others what type of Dom owns them." ~ Anonymous.
From @AllThingsKink. Their website can be found here.

Stunning Twitter fetish video: from @GoddessSativa. Her website can be found here.
Bootlovers.com #72: Goddess Sativa in her custom purple crotch high boots!

Articles found through Twitter I enjoyed:

Found through @subguide: The Collar... BDSM Symbolism and Personal Meaning

Found through @subguide: The Importance of Journaling Your Submission

Found through @subguide: Slave Positions

Found through @DirkHooper: Her Pet Speaks

Found through @DirkHooper: BDSM: It’s less transgressive than you think

And not necessarily related to Twitter, I added three new blogs (I so have to clean up the inactive links!):
1- From Beneath the Rose
2- Hard Loving
3- A Goddess and her Boi Toy

Humor in D/s and BDSM (E)

2012-01-18T08:18:00.000-08:00

On New Year's Eve Day, after a few hours of "Coffee & Clamps!", my Goddess was in the mood to enjoy a brief caning at my expense. This was also an opportunity to bring out once more our "Holiday Cane." This is a hard red-and-white, twisted plastic cane, about 28" long, that we had gotten a few years ago, and that typically sees a fair amount of action over the holiday season.

My Goddess ordered me into a corner of the living room. I was already at her feet at that time, so I simply crawled over on all-fours as she pushed me over firmly with one of her knees. Once in the corner, I opened a cabinet where the canes are kept, and handed her the cane she requested, the Holiday Cane.

I presented myself to her in her favorite caning position, on my knees and elbows. She began by rubbing the cane over both sides of my backside, as something of a mental warm-up. And once the rubbing stopped, and the cane left my skin, the caning began.

She began with a few relatively mild strokes, despite the rigidity of the cane, but by the time I counted six, the strokes were coming in quite heavily. By the way, yes, I do count the strokes because during our caning play, sooner or later, my Goddess will ask me for a count. And if the number I give her feels inaccurate to her, well, let's just say that I'll be in big trouble...

And then stroke #7 came down. Heavy. #8. Heavier... that one had that reverberating-through-my-body feel to it. And then #9. CRACK! Even heavier than #8, with a burning sensation, but in the teeth-grinding-eyes-tightly-shut moment of the body reverberations, there was the realization of what had just happened. The cane was broken. We both heard the cracking sound, and the sound of the runaway 4-5" piece sliding on across the wood floor. We both started laughing, my Goddess quite heartily, me through the still heated sensations that had extended through my body beyond my backside.

Once we recovered a bit of decorum, my Goddess clearly was not done with me, and resumed. A bit more tentatively at first, getting a measure of what she had to work with. And then, as she ramped up the intensity, it happened again on stroke #14. The reverberating sensation from the point of impact, and... the cracking sound of the cane breaking once more, this time a 1.5-2" piece of the cane going off sliding across the floor. My Goddess had such a good laugh... joyful, defiantly evil, and dominantly satisfied. I also could not resist laughing, even if it was through the increasingly thick veil of subspace.

14 strokes was too short of a caning for my Goddess, though, and she continued until she reached 20. The rest of the cane held together. Once she was done, in her enthusiasm, I wasn't off my knees yet that my Goddess grabbed her phone and tweeted: "I just broke my candy cane on @SelenasDymion in 20 swats. I'll miss that festive little weapon, but I rock!"

Humor can be such an important and joyous part of BDSM play and a D/s relationship. Whether it's laughter during play itself or around a predicament, there's a magic about it in the eyes of my Goddess. And for me, it just intensifies the emotions, the sensations, and the subspace. The humor can be the result of a deliciously embarrassing situation, a physical or emotional response or moment that is wonderful and new, or just a totally quirky and unexpected event or moment, such as what happened to us just then.

Now, I have 10 months to find my Goddess another cane suitable for the holidays...

Image courtesy of www.young-goddess.com via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

The Eternity Collar: one year anniversary (E)

2012-01-02T07:50:00.000-08:00

"Dymion's Eternity Collar" by Goddess Selena

Last Friday 3 days ago marked one year since my Goddess placed an Eternity Collar around my neck. I had wasted no time putting down our first impressions of the Eternity Collar in the original post the very day it arrived and my Goddess put it on me. Back then I had written:

"The Eternity Collar really is a superb piece. Making its presence felt around my neck by its weight and its rigidity, it perfectly symbolizes my attachment and my belonging to my Goddess, her ownership of me, and the strength of the ties that bind us. It certainly makes very tangible the expression "owned and collared"."

In a post six weeks after my Goddess first re-collared me with the Eternity Collar, I went on:

"Its heft and rigidity are constant reminders to me of what it represents: my submission to my Goddess, her ownership of me, my status as her toy, her pet, her boy.

...Its presence, and the thought that I cannot remove it on my own without a very significant amount of trouble, are constant reminders to my Goddess of her dominance and control over me, and of my belonging to her. I am hers...

... There is so much about of the eternity collar that I love. I love it when my Goddess grabs a hold of the eternity collar to pull me in for a kiss, to tell me something dominant or dirty, or to simply remind me of who holds the reins. I love it when we make love, and the D-ring of the locked leather collar my Goddess put on me in the early evening dings loudly against the eternity collar. I love it when my Goddess catches a glimpse of the eternity collar, and she flashes one of her dominant "I own you, Bitch!" smiles. I love it when I'm apart from my Goddess for a short while, and I feel the eternity collar around my neck, and I bring a hand to it, and feel its strength and its size and its warmth. And I feel the texture of the hinge or the edges where the allen screw keeps it locked around my neck.

And most of all, I love it that my Goddess feels so strongly about our relationship, and the nature/dynamics of our relationship, that she wanted to have as imposing a piece as the eternity collar placed around my neck, in all that it is, and in all that it represents."

A year after my Goddess affixed the Eternity Collar around my neck those words stand bigger, truer, and more vivid than ever. And the Eternity Collar it has remained in place, without interruptions, 24/7/365. It took a little getting used to, both physically and in terms of self-awareness. But now, it is part of me. Part of my body, part of my soul. And that is so very special to me because of the link to my Goddess. The Eternity Collar is there because she wants it so. The symbolism of our original collaring ceremony many years ago, the re-collaring with the Eternity Collar, the permanence of collar, all have been such powerful moments defining our love and our D/s relational dynamics.

My Goddess keeps playfully reminding me that she has no idea where the Allen keys to remove it might be. In fact, after 368 days of continuous wear, through workouts, showers, and just daily activities, who knows if it would come off with the Allen key by now. But it doesn't really matter. She has absolutely no intention of ever taking it off. I can only wonder what moments will come when sooner or later I encounter metal detectors at airports, or buildings that have them as a security measure. There have already been rather memorable moments with a much less imposing piece before (posted here). But I know they will only add to my Goddess' pleasure and her empowerment.
But I am so proud to be wearing the Eternity Collar my Goddess chose for me. I am so proud that she felt so strongly about my belonging to her, of her ownership of me, that she wanted such an imposing and definitive sign for us, and for the world to see if necessary. And for that, I am also so thankful.

"Dymion's Home Collars" by Goddess Selena

Twitter highlights: people, pics, and clips (E)

2011-12-30T21:02:00.000-08:00

Image from the Dirk Hooper Tumblr site

My exploration of Twitter over the past few months has brought me to some fascinating places in terms of people and media. In particular, it's been interesting to see where Twitterscape and the blogosphere intersect, and where they don't. With no pretention of comprehensiveness or anything else than personal opinion, here are a few my favorite people, pics, and clips I wanted to share:

Favorite Tweeter: Dirk Hooper (@dirkhooper)
Website: Dirk Hooper Photography
Blog
Tumblr

A prolific tweeter and networker, Dirk seems like a very nice guy, easy and pleasant to communicate with. Some of his photography is quite stunning, and I'm particularly taken by the emotions of the moment he manages to capture in many of his pictures. His work is not strictly femdom, but even some of the non-femdom stuff is eye-catching. His blog's Fetishweek feature has been a cool read.

Favorite Fetish Tweeter: Teri Horne (@BootLadyTeri23)
Blog: Booted up

Teri also has a website, but I've been mainly taken aback by her many daily tweets on boot fashion or celebrities in boots. Absolutely superb. If you have a thing for boots, you have to check her blog regularly. Teri also tweets on glove fashion (she has a blog for that too).

Favorite Video from a tweet: Cigarette service
Website: Vinyl Queen
Tumblr: Worship Me

I never knew the legendary Vinyl Queen kept a Tumblr site. But I found out about it when she tweeted about a new post she put up back in October. A short but beautiful scene, where she is playful and yet totally in control. Absolutely unforgettable. And an intense flashback to some similar play between my Goddess and I.

Image from the Vinyl Queen Tumblr site

Quote (and moment) of the day (E)

2011-12-17T17:48:00.000-08:00

Image courtesy of Balkan Brat Domination via Slaves of the Goddess

So there we were at a family function this afternoon. I was in the living room, chatting with the husband of one of my Goddess' cousins. My Goddess walks into the room, snaps her fingers at me, and gestures me to join her, hinting that we have to step outside for her to smoke.

The fellow I was talking with begins to laugh as I stand up to join my Goddess and jokes "You've been summoned!"

He turns to her and exclaims "Now, that's good training!"

Not missing a beat, my Goddess replies: "You bet that's good training. You think they come out of the box that way?"

I felt a rush, a little wave of subspace, and quietly and proudly followed my Goddess out the front door.

Image courtesy of http://www.underherfeet.com/ via Slaves of the Goddess

Playtime emotions and femdom imagery (E)

2011-11-27T20:39:00.000-08:00

Image courtesy of Written in the Water via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

In the plethora of images in print and on the web related to BDSM in general, and female domination in particular, most are action-shots depicting an activity, a fetish, or perhaps a moment from a scene. While many are hot and enticing, most of them leave me somewhat unsatisfied. They feel not quite complete. In part, I think it's because they capture a certain physicality of what is depicted, but little else. Of course, I may be asking for too much from a single image.

However, occasionally, there are pictures that capture much more than a physical moment... they capture an emotional one. And that makes them rich and powerful, and they open the floodgates to remembrances of emotions lived before. The image that opens this post is one of them.

It brought back a flood of memories and emotions from some playtime my Goddess and I had a few weeks back, which I refer to in my last post, the product review on the Blue Spiral glass dildo. We had gone out a date where she looked absolutely stunning in a pin-stripe jacket over a nice white top, sexy dark grey tights, and her hot black high-heel boots. We had a wonderful dinner at a local Mexican restaurant, and when we returned home, it was clear she was feeling dominantly feisty.

Upon our return, after the daily placement and locking of my leather collar, my Goddess told me to fetch the leather wrist and ankle cuffs. She had them strapped and locked on my limbs in record time. Then she told me to pull out a leather blindfold, and to wait for her in bed, naked, on my stomach. My rapidly rising anticipation could barely keep up with the speed at which things were unfurling.

Once my Goddess walked into the bedroom, she quickly slipped and buckled the blindfold over my head, attached the wrist cuffs to the headboard of the bed and the ankle cuffs, about 30" apart, to the footboard of the bed. She sat on my lower back, reached under my chest, and began to torment my nipples with her fingers and her nails. Already sinking into subspace rapidly, I dropped even faster as I lay there bound and helpless, the pain from my Goddess teasing my nipples focused and amplified by the absence of distraction without sight. Her weight pressing down on me added even further to limiting my movements and my sense of helplessness.

Abruptly, she got off me, and walked away from the bed. The echoes of the sensations of the NT and her sitting on me,the feeling of her head and hair over my shoulder, eased the transition to the stark isolation of being alone and bound in the bedroom somewhat suddenly.

But it wasn't long before my Goddess returned. As I felt her to the side of the bed, a cold sensation came up my spine, over my shoulder, up my neck, and to my lips. Deep into subspace, I couldn't focus on what it was that she was teasing me with until she gently forced it beyond my lips and barely into my mouth. I then recognized the shape of the glass dildo that had been on her bedside table for many weeks, waiting to be used when the time and the mood was just right.

She pulled it out of my mouth, circling my lips again with it. I felt my Goddess standing next to me for a short while before she sat on the bed. A few seconds later, her fingers gently began lubricating a path for the Blue Spiral glass dildo down below. It wasn't long before I felt the pressure of the dildo against my anal opening, and I tried to relax best I could. Through little turning and in-and-out movements, my Goddess teasingly and skillfully worked the dildo inside me. In brief moments of focus as I kept feeling waves of subspace and deep intimacy wash over me, I could feel and hear her playful enjoyment to my reactions, to my movements, to my sounds.

Surprisingly quickly, the glass dildo was all the way in, and then she delighted in pulling it out a bit and pushing it back in to the hilt, and turning it inside me with the small knob/handle that is one of the characteristics of the Blue Spiral. Her movements took more amplitude and my reactions grew greater, and the latter grew even more as my Goddess' enthusiasm inspired her into more forceful movements.

She diminished of the intensity of the anal play over a few minutes, and then she stopped all together. Once more, rather abruptly, she got off the bed, told me not to lose the dildo, and walked away from me. I suddenly got worried through the fog of subspace that the glass dildo would slip out, but to my great surprise, it did not. In retrospect, the head of the dildo being quite a bit larger than the shaft, the dildo stayed in without any effort on my part.

I was taken out of subspace reverie by the smoke blown into my face by my Goddess. I had not heard her come back. Either she lit her cigarette in the next room, or I was so out of it that I didn't hear the lighter. Either way, she placed the cold metal ashtray on my back, sat on the bed next to my bound body, and enjoyed her cigarette, running her nails along my back, and occasionally, blowing more smoke in my direction. Every few drags, she would grab my hair, pull my head back and to the side, and exhale inside my mouth. When she does so, I know she expects me to take in all of her smoke, and I did my best not to let any escape until it was my turn to exhale. Twice during her smoke break, she brought the cigarette to my lips, forcing me to take a drag.

Barely a few seconds after my Goddess put out her cigarette in the ashtray on my back, I feel a sharp, hot impact on my lower back. It was the unmistakable impact of wax, heavy, hot, almost reverberating. By the smell, I could tell exactly which of the candles she was using too. This was one of those fragrant candles that we used to make the entire house smell nice. I think it was the cucumber-melon one. This would explain the intense heat of the drops that she was pouring across my back. The fragrance candles tend to have a higher oil content, and unless dropped from way high, they hit the skin much hotter. My Goddess regaled herself with the range of reactions I had to the drops, from deep moans in less sensitive areas like the back of my shoulders, to sharp inhales and exhales in more sensitive areas in fleshier parts like behind the kidneys.

One drop came down after another, sometimes in quick succession, sometimes with a few seconds in between. Sometimes she dropped them in a linear pattern, sometimes she dropped them in a seemingly random way. In between and during, my Goddess kept returning to teasing me and tormenting me with thrusts and turns of the dildo. If I would not have been so deeply lost in subspace, it might have all been overwhelming.

At one point, it all came to a gentle end. The hot wax stopped dripping. The glass dildo was gently removed. My Goddess ran her hands over my back, making something of a mess from the very soft wax. Oil-based scented candles tend to leave very soft, if not quite liquid, wax residue (easier but messier to remove.) And then, she tenderly caressed my hair and came in close to give me a long hug as part of the usual aftercare.

It is this very time that came back to me when I saw the picture opening this post. It spoke to me of a very special moment, full of intimacy and satisfaction. It felt like recovery from intense emotions and sensations. Of course, it has none of the toys or gear, or mess, from our playtime. But the look on the woman's face is just what I would have expected to see on my Goddess' face if I could have looked at her. And his body posture is just what I imagine mine would look like slowly coming out of subspace.

My mind wandering to that evening, I was reminded vividly of the intimacy of anal play with my Goddess. Of the energy she emanates when she expresses her dominance is such a physical way. Of how magical it is to feel her enjoyment during our playtime.

Image courtesy of Hello High Heels via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

Product review: Blue Spiral (E)

2011-11-20T09:52:00.000-08:00

Well... this review has been a long time coming. But finally, here it is.

A while after our first review for them, Kayla at EdenFantantasys generously offered us another product to field test and review. My Goddess and I settled on the Blue Spiral, a superb looking dildo that tweaked our curiosity.

My Goddess has a real passion for taking advantage of me with anal play. She loves the sounds I make, and my reactions to what she does to me. Our small collection of strap-ons and dildos are among her favorite items of our BDSM toy collection. On my side, I find submitting to her in anal play one of the most intimately submissive part of what we do, whether she simply delights in teasing me and tormenting with a dildo while I'm in bondage or she fucks me until she reaches orgasm wearing a strap-on. The Blue Spiral interested us because of its different shape and pattern, we did not yet have a glass dildo in our collection, and it was an opportunity to try out something just a bit different.

As usual, we were very excited when the item arrived by mail. Who doesn't get a rush checking the mailbox and finding a package that is likely going to be a sex toy? I brought it in, and waited for my Goddess to be ready for us to open it together. Once we pulled it out its package, we loved its heft, its feel, and its presentation.

The Blue Spiral came in a nice velvety-feeling bag with drawstrings. As you would expect from a glass item, it was heavy and very rigid. The head was significantly larger than the shaft, and all of its grooves were very smooth and sensual. There are four grooves length-wise along the head of the dildo, and the actual blue spiral around the shaft. And then, there's the little knob... Back to that later.

For those of you who like specs, here is a recap of the web page of the Blue Spiral:

Material: Pyrex glass; food-grade material, hypo-allergenic, latex free, non-porous, phthalates free
Texture: nubbed, swirled, textured head
Color: blue/clear
Length: 5 3/4"
Insertable length: 3 3/4"
Circumference: 4 3/4"
Diameter: 1 1/2"
Weight: 9 oz

Once we examined it, and talked about all the possibilities, we placed the Blue Spiral back into its bag, and put it on my Goddess' bedside table so that it would be handy whenever she got in the mood to use it. But there it stayed for quite a while. Unfortunately, despite the excitement, the usual issues of health, work, and business road trips that have plagued us for much of this year (as witnessed by the scarcity of our posts) got in the way.

But two weekends ago, my Goddess and I went out on a date. She looked stunning wearing a pin-stripe jacket over a nice white top, sexy dark grey tights, and black high-heel boots. We had a wonderful dinner together, and when we returned home, she was in the mood for some extended playtime. This included some bondage while I was kept blindfolded, hot wax, NT, smoking play, and of course, our new Blue Spiral glass dildo. The full details of that session will be the subject of an upcoming post.

By the time my Goddess pulled the Blue Spiral, she had me blindfolded, lying on my stomach on the bed, with my wrists tied to the headboard, and my ankles tied to the footboard of the bed, feet about 30" apart. She ran the glass dildo over my back, up my neck, and over my lips. It was a mysterious sensation, one I did not recognize until she put it against my lips, and I felt the coolness and hardness of the glass. Knowing then what my Goddess had in her hands, my already high-level of anticipation heightened, and I dropped deeper into subspace.

It had been a while since we had done some anal play. I tried to remain relaxed so that I wouldn't give my Goddess too much trouble with her plans. But the Blue Spiral slipped in much easier than expected, especially considering that its head is a fair diameter. I think the shape of its head, along with the length-wise grooves and the smoothness of the glass, all contributed to making it easy for my Goddess to insert it.

My Goddess had no trouble whatsoever in moving the glass dildo inside me, pulling it back, thrusting with it, or spinning it inside me. The end-knob/handle seemed to provide her with an ease of use that was far better than anything else we've had a chance to play with. 10 out of 10 for ease of use.

At one point, my Goddess went over to get a candle for wax play. I was not aware of that at the time, but before leaving my side, she did tease me not to let the Blue Spiral slip out. I got a little worried because I have a tendency to uncontrollably eject anal toys fairly quickly unless there is pressure kept on them. I was just hoping to relax enough so that most of it would still be in by the time she would return. To my great surprise, and relief, the glass dildo did not move. My guess is that the head is sufficiently large in contrast to the shaft that the body will close/tighten past the head, around the shaft, and it minimizes the body's natural tendency to push it out. That was a first for me!

The sensations from the glass dildo itself were awesome. The Blue Spiral isn't overly wide or long, but it's still quite pleasurable/enjoyable. I felt everything my Goddess did with it... the aforementioned thrusting, pulling back, turning, and spinning. Of course, the fact that she was doing it at least as much for her enjoyment as for mine made it all the more D/s fantastic.

I give it top marks for its size. We do have other dildos that are more intense, but they are either longer and/or larger, and nowhere as easy to handle. This one was lots of sensations in a fairly small dildo. Overall, this was an awesomely fun and easy toy to play with. Two thumbs up from me.

My Goddess absolutely loved it. She found it very easy to handle, and very easy to get the reactions out of me she loves so much. She enjoyed how smoothly it slipped in, how easy it was to move it around with the little end-knob/handle, and she loved how it would stay in me within needing to keep pressure on it all the time. She definitely gave it two thumbs up. And I must say that cleaning it up was a cinch. Hooray for glass!

Our gratitude to EdenFantantasys for giving us the opportunity to review their Blue Spiral, and for Kayla's patience with us. It turned out to be a superb piece that will undoubtably see regular action when the mood for anal play strikes my Goddess. Perhaps the best toy we have reviewed yet!

My Goddess: my Love... my Obsession (E)

2011-10-30T09:35:00.000-07:00

Image courtesy of Femdom Empire via Yes, Misstress... An Addiction to Submission

My tweeting over the course of the last month or so has turned out to be a rather satisfying experience. In a similar way that praying or meditating several times a day will do wonders to cleanse the soul, the heart, and the mind, and reinforce important principles, so I have found it to be with tweeting about our relationship, our activities, and our moods. Taking a minute or two to reflect, formulate my thoughts into words, and send the tweet has given me a chance to focus on the wonderful love and D/s relational dynamics we have. Often at least once a day, sometimes twice a day or more.

It has given me the chance to playfully express and share the obsession I have about my Goddess. An obsession that is not abating in the least as we are several years into our relationship. Never let anyone tell you that the magic of a relationship inevitably fades after the first 6-12 months. With the right chemistry, a little TLC, a little effort, good communications, a sense of exploration, and lots of kissing, the magic can keep growing far past expectations.

It is not as deep a meditation or contemplation as I go through when I sit down to write a post here in our blog. But the ease and speed of sharing on Twitter has been rather attractive, and I have found it a nice way to share and let my Goddess know what I'm feeling on a regular basis.

We have not really talked about our use of Twitter. My Goddess has not imposed a number of daily tweets on me (although that could be hot!). But she does seem to enjoy the tweets when they come through, or when she catches up to them. And I absolutely love reading her tweets.

For me, tweeting is a different and complementary form of tribute to my ever-growing love for my Goddess, to my evermore addictive obsession with her. Despite the incredible challenges we have faced together, despite the many challenges that we have faced in health, work, and more, I am hopelessly devoted to her. She is unconditionally loving, affectionate, and supportive of me. She is smart, witty, funny, and creative. And of course, there's that whole sexy, hot, and dominant thing going on. How can I not adore her?

I don't tell my Goddess often enough how much I love her. How much I'm infatuated with her. How much I think of her all the time. How much I adore. How every little thing she does is magic. Hopefully my service and obedience to her, along with my blogging and tweeting, and the times that I do tell her verbally and try to shower her with affection, all give her a good sense of how much I love her, and appreciate everything she is for me.

Image courtesy of Fine Erotica via Slaves of the Goddess

Twitter (E)

2011-10-10T04:51:00.000-07:00

Artwork courtesy of Lunar Black

Over on the right side of our blog... Upper right... Go head... Take a look... You'll notice something new... Our tweets...

To make up for the fact that it's been difficult to write good posts more than a few times a month (and we'll still work on posting here more often), we decided to see how the spur of the moment, stream of consciousness thing would work for us.

Sadly, no deep reflections, no hot pictures, no detailed descriptions. Just a what's-happening-in-the-moment, a what's-being-felt-in-the-moment kinda thing. In 140 characters or less. Should find time for that!

Enjoy!

Coffee and clamps! (E)

2011-10-08T07:30:00.000-07:00

"Lordess of Rusty Spoons" via Lunar Black

Friday evening a week ago I asked my Goddess, "So... what are the plans for tomorrow?" Just one of those the-week-is-over-I-can't-wait-to spend-more-time-with-you moments.

She immediately exclaimed, "Coffee and clamps!" And she did so with the playfully evil, dominant smile that melts my heart and makes me weak in the knees.

Of course, our day-off morning ritual is a sacred part of our D/s relationship. I shared some of the basics at first in Morning Routine: The Daily 10, and provided some updates in Pushing Our Morning Ritual, in addition to occasionally providing references to our morning ritual in other posts.

I must admit, I found it heartwarming for my Goddess to remind me with so much enthusiasm how much she enjoys our D/s based interactions, play, and rituals, and how important they are to her. Of course, it was also tantalizingly subspacey for me to anticipate what was to come. I had a torrent of flashbacks running right then through my mind of key moments of the ritual... preparing her coffee, bringing it to her, and offering her the leash attached to my locked leather collar... sitting at her feet while she enjoys her coffee and a cigarette... holding the ashtray while she smokes... waiting for her to tell me "Coffee, Bitch!" when it comes time for a refill... and during all this time, wearing the nipple clamps she expects to see from the moment I present her with the very first cup of coffee, and keeping them on during the entire time of our morning ritual.

In fact, the clover clamps will remain until my Goddess finishes her third cup of coffee (she SO loves her coffee!) If she's feeling especially evil, and in the mood for a little more coffee (by now, the switch to decaf has already happened), she may even have a fourth cup before she removes the nipple clamps. Well before the third cup, the dull ache from the clamps has become a sharp pain that stabs my nipples with every movement I make.

The reality of the morning that followed was everything I anticipated, and more. Sometimes, predictibility is not a bad thing at all... It gets the butterflies going in your stomach, it gets a little wave of subspace washing over you, and it keeps your mind racing for hours and hours.

Oh... I almost forgot. And then, when it came time to remove the nipple clamps, my Goddess twisted them, pulled on them, pushed them to the sides, and only after tormenting my nipples like this for an extra minute or two did she finally remove them. But she wasn't done yet. She then used her fingers and nails to do even more NT, and continued until I could no longer hold back a whimper from the delicious pain she inflicted upon me. This is also an essential part of our morning ritual. It makes her happy. Especially the whimper.

We are both off from work today. My Goddess is still spleeping at the moment, but I can't wait for her to wake up and tell me, "Coffee, Bitch!" so that we can do this all over again.

Image courtesy of Pantyhose Supremacy via Lunar Black

She wants me home when she wakes up (E)

2011-09-18T10:20:00.000-07:00

Image courtesy of FLR - The Future of Relationship via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

So... I had a few errands to run this morning. Since I always wake up quite a bit earlier than my Goddess, the idea was that I would be out of the house and back before she got up. Wearing the locked leather collar would not be an issue this early in the morning in this wet and cold weather.

Two things changed the plans. The first are the bound hands. Last night, before going to sleep, my Goddess asked for some rope, and bound my wrists with a simple 7-coil column tie for the night. The tie was constraining and inescapable, with just enough room to allow for some movement during sleep and to never cut off circulation. Once my wrists were tied, she ordered me into one of her favorite sleeping positions. I was to be on my side facing her, and place my thighs under her knees as she lay on her back. Then, she grabbed the area of rope between my wrists, pulled it over to her chest, and gently fell asleep.

The previous evening, I was placed in a very similar situation but with metal handcuffs instead of rope. Much earlier in the evening, right after dinner, my Goddess had asked for the handcuffs so that I would be bound during our TV watching. She also took the opportunity to use me as furniture. I sat in the corner of the sofa, she lay back against me, and she had me loop my arms around her, so that I had no choice but to hold her and hug her throughout our time watching television. For as long as she wanted. The only interruptions came when she wanted to smoke, at which point I moved to the floor at her feet and held the ashtray. And my Goddess left the handcuffs on for the night's sleep.

This morning, she woke up briefly as I was going to get out of bed. I thought that she would remove the rope keeping my wrists bound, but she told me that we would catch up on errands later. She wanted me here, at home, when she woke up. With that, she fell back to sleep, and I quietly walked away from the bedroom.

So here I am at home, prisoner of my Goddess' love and dominance. My long house leash is attached to my locked leather collar (so that she can tug and pull me in if she needs anything), with my ever-present Eternity Collar below/under, my wrists are tied in a beautiful column tie, and I am catching up to our blog... slowly. The tightness of the column tie only allows me to type with one hand. You probably have no idea how challenging it is to select text for cut-and-paste into Word for final spell-checking (I find Blogger's annoying), or for hyperlinking with just one hand, unless you've been placed in that predicament. Just opening the laptop was a bit of a challenge (fingers only on one side until I could open the laptop far enough to wedge my left elbow to leverage the top and bottom open.)

I will try to do more productive things around the house, but the range of things I can do is rather limited. Even taking down my underwear and pulling them back on after using the toilet is a mini-ordeal. Try pulling up the back of your underwear with only 1-1.25" between your wrists. Hand-washing dishes is impossible.

I went to wake up my Goddess at her appointed cut-off time, but she decided to sleep-in a little longer, so I ended up another hour in partial bondage. It gave me time to nearly finish this post.

Once my Goddess did get up for our morning ritual, I let her know that I would be unable to present her with her coffee with the nipple clamps (as is the routine) while my wrists were still bound. She looked at me with a wonderfully dominant grin, and decided that was alright. "I'm enjoying my rope" she told me playfully.

I love being in bondage for my Goddess' enjoyment. I love being in her control. I love being her play toy. Of course, part of it is about how it fulfills my need for submission, for my submission to her, for her attention, for my Goddess to express and display her dominance toward me. But even more, I love to make her smile. I love to make her feel that I belong to her. I love to make her feel sexy. I love to give her the opportunity to express and display her dominance. I love to make her feel that I am totally devoted to her. I love to make her feel that I would do anything for her, and do it with all my heart. And this is why we so enjoy anything we do together.

Image courtesy of Femdom Proper via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

PS: If you try the overnight wrist bondage with a column tie, make sure there is sufficient room once you secure the knot in order make sure that it will not cut-off circulation even as the arm positions change during sleep. More coils gives you more flexibility while keeping the tie secure. And if you try going overnight with handcuffs, make sure they have a locking mechanism, otherwise pressure on them may inadvertendly click them too tight, which may affect circulation. Play hard but play safe...

The secret is... enthusiasm (E)

2011-09-09T03:51:00.000-07:00

A Little Light Bondage by Sorceress2000, via Lunar Black

Enthusiasm expresses wants and needs, and wants and needs impose will. Enthusiasm is the collection of many little daily gestures and words that expresses my Goddess' dominance, and her enjoyment of our D/s relational dynamics. And the fun she has playing with her toy... me.

Enthusiasm is my Goddess...

...giving me a harsh look and barking "Where's your collar, Bitch!" if I take any undue time to offer her the locking collar upon my arrival home each day. It happens very seldom... but when it does...

...pointing at her feet, where she wants me to sit, when she is ready to smoke and wants me to hold the ashtray for her;

...telling me what she wants or what she needs, and it is absolutely clear in the tone of her voice, that she is expecting, without a shadow of a doubt, that I will do it for her or get it for her;

...taking hold of my hair or my collar, pulling me in close to her, exhaling her cigarette smoke in my mouth;

...suddenly grabbing me by the hair while I'm sitting at her feet on the floor, and walking me over to the other end of the living room, leaving me on all fours, and serving up 24 strokes with the paddle, followed by 24 strokes with the cane;

...deciding that I will serve as furniture, and putting her legs up on my shoulders when I am at her feet on the floor, or telling me I must sleep at a 90 degree angle to her so that she can lay her legs up over my torso to sleep more comfortably, or ordering me to sit behind her so she can recline against me while we watch TV;

...bursting out "I really want to hurt you!" during lovemaking, and she brings me to a thunderous orgasm as I simultaneously whimper from the nipple torture;

...finalizing plans to bring me out to have a tattoo identifying me as her property;

...telling me "You're getting tied up tonight!" and after binding my wrists to the headboard of the bed, leaving me bound until the time the morning alarm goes off;

...sitting on my stomach while I am bound, and marking my chest with dominantly possessive drawings and notes with different colored Sharpies, which will remain visible for 3-5 days.

Enthusiasm is... the secret to the magic of D/s. At least for us it is.

Iconic picture of Prodomme Mistress Juliet Taylor (who seems to have retired), found on Women with Whips

Resources update (E)

2011-09-06T21:00:00.000-07:00

Image courtesy of Fine Erotica

Just took a little time over the weekend to do a much-needed update of the resources on this blog.

We're quite proud of the resources on this blog. And you, the readers, have given us many compliments about the art we choose for our blog entries, something we take to heart. The links to blogs, photography sites, specialty sites, and commercial sites are meant to provide inspiration and understanding, bring to light a range of fetishes and lifestyle choices, share some beautiful BDSM artwork, and list educational resources. And yeah... I guess some of it may be good wanking material.

It is by no means a comprehensive list. There are a number of fetishes and lifestyle choices that are not represented here, primarily because we're not into them... no disrespect intended to those that are. Even among those things we are interested in, or participate in, it would be foolish to even think that, in these times of exponential growth of the internet, it would be possible to document them all.

So as we come across material that we enjoy and/or appreciate, just like taking pictures of things that catch our eye on a road trip, we try to make note of what we like, put it somewhere we'll remember, and share with those that may have a similar interest.

This weekend's clean-up was about deleting sites that had been closed, sites that had become inactive and had lost their interest for us, and adding some new sites. The pictures that book-end this entry are from some of our recently added links. If you catch any link that is not active anymore on our blog, we'd like for you to let us know. The number of links listed has become a little unwieldy, and very large for us to manage, and we may not always notice in a timely manner.

We know that not all of you have websites or blogs, and among those of you that do, not all of you keep a list of resources related to femdom relationships, femdom play, and femdom activities. If you come across anything of note and you won't list it yourself, please feel free to leave us a comment listing the link, or send us an email. We won't guarantee that we'll list it if we feel it is an awkward fit for us, but we'll certainly consider it. We especially want to hear from you if you have a blog or website of (femdom) interest, and you'd like us to list you. We love highlighting things, new and old, that may be of interest to our readers.

In the meantime, we hope you keep enjoying our blog, and its resources, and if you have any feedback, or thoughts you want to share with us, go ahead and drop-in for a while.

Image courtesy of I am Mistress Becca

New collar (E)

2011-09-03T21:54:00.000-07:00

Image courtesy of The Sum of Me

I still recall vividly the day I was collared by my Goddess. It was a very special moment that I remember with much pride, warmth, and humbleness. A few short weeks after that turning point in our lives, it was determined that I would always wear a locked leather collar when I was with her in the house.

Several years later, the meaning of our very private collaring ceremony, and later, of our daily collaring, so that I am collared in her presence at all times (when away from the public), is as significant and meaningful as it has ever been. My commitment to my Goddess, her well-being, her happiness, and her fulfillment, remains unwavering. The sense of warmth, of purpose, and of belonging I feel being my Goddess' collared submissive/toy/pet is as powerful and intense as ever.

Our locking leather collar was a classic design. It was all black leather. Made from a one-piece strap, it was 1.25" wide, had 3 D-rings, and it had a locking buckle. The collar was elegantly classic (in a BDSM kind of way), firm, ungiving, strong yet flexible... all qualities shared by the person to whom it was a tribute to... my Goddess.

But it had to be retired recently after well over two years. Wear and increasing difficulties in cleaning it thoroughly led us to the decision to find another locking leather collar.

The collar had a good life, saw much use, and was an important part of our lives. There were short evenings and nights when I wore it only five or six hours. There were also long weekends when I wore it over 80 hours out of a possible 84 hours or so. It was always on when we were home together, and often it was worn for fetish events. Occasionally it was worn for quick errands (alone) or discreet outings (with my Goddess) on cold weather days.

On days when both my Goddess and I were at home, the collar often had a leashed attached to it. There were many, many moments when my Goddess grabbed the middle D-ring to pull me close to her and said to me in no uncertain way "Mine!"

There were times when my Goddess fell asleep next to me holding on to the middle D-ring. There were other times when she clipped my cuffed wrists to the side D-rings in order to get my hands and arms out of the way as she tortured my nipples with her lit cigarette, used several small and large clothespins for some CBT, dropped hot wax all over my chest, applied temporary tattoos, wrote notes of dominant and possessive love over my chest and back, or decided to do some facesitting.

So often I ran my fingers over the locking buckle and lock, feeling how secure they were, playing with them, tugging on them, and reveling in my Goddess' control.

Now, we have a new collar. Black and purple (the latter being my Goddess' favorite color), it is made from two straps. The top, wider (1.25") strap is black, and the bottom, narrower strap (1.00") is dark purple. It has a fixed central D-ring, and two more floating D-rings. It has purple stitching. And of course, it has a locking buckle. It is made from softer leather, but the two straps composing it and the finished lining make it a bit heavier. It isn't quite as firm as the previous one, but just as ungiving.

We both really like it, and it certainly feels like a worthy replacement. And it will certainly be interesting to see what new collection of moments will come to be during the course of the next few years with this new collar.

Image courtesy of Slaves of the Goddess

Moment of the day: Etchings of desires (E)

2011-07-24T06:58:00.000-07:00

Image courtesy of Cream & Sugar via Disenchanted Lullabies

It's very early in the morning, still dark outside. I've barely been awake for 60, maybe 90 seconds. I walk into the bathroom to start getting ready for the work day. I turn on the light over the mirror. As I wait for my eyes to adapt to the intensity of the light before opening them, I reach over with one hand to the area on the opposite arm just above the wrist. I feel ridges. Five of them. Rope marks... still etching my flesh from having my wrists bound over night. I slowly open my eyes as they are ready for the light. I now see the marks on the arm I am running my fingers over, and on the other arm reaching over. The rope marks are beautiful. I get that familiar feeling of warm-desperate-submissive-clingy-adoration for my Goddess inside me. For just a little while longer I will be able to see and feel the desire and will of my Goddess to make me hers... to keep me as her toy... to control her boy... to dominate her boy...

My Goddess bound my wrists the previous evening, as we sat down to watch television together. She loves using me as furniture as we watch TV, and she particularly enjoys doing that while there is an element of bondage present. In this case, I sat at the corner of the sofa after she bound my wrists together. She sat close against me, reclining on me, and my bound hands over and around her put me in a forced hugging-her-from-behind position for the duration of the time we remained in the living room.

We both so enjoy these moments of closeness, even more so because of the D/s elements added to them.

After a few hours, before we went to bed, my Goddess tightened the column tie for the night, making sure it was tight enough to be secure and inescapable, but not so tight it would cut circulation.

While we slept, I could feel her occasionally grabbing hold of the binding, pulling it close to her, simultaneously symbolically stating "Mine!", and reminding me I was under her control and that I couldn't go anywhere without her letting me go. And that's a feeling that I keep with me all the time...

Image courtesy of Slaves of the Goddess

The invisible leash (E)

2011-07-17T09:48:00.000-07:00

Mistress & Slave, fine art print by Brian Gibbs (RedBubble), found originally on Lunar Black

Recent changes to my professional life, and a related huge increase in commuting distance, has led to very long work days for me. I don't have any issues whatsoever with the work commitment... a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. But I am saddened by having less time to spend with my Goddess. Not only actual physical time, but prime quality time. When I get home 12-13 hours after having left for work, I'm afraid that my energy level may not be all that it could be. Certainly not every single day. But that’s something I’m aware of, and during the commute back, I’ll mentally prepare to be the very best I can for my Goddess. And I’ll strive to catch up and exceed her expectations on my days off.

That being said, my biggest worries are actually elsewhere. Two of the greatest threats to any relationship, vanilla or D/s, are what I call the two Ds: disconnection and doubt. Lack of prime quality I’m-so-into-you-and-I-can’t-be-without-you-for-a-single-second time, over days, and weeks, and months, can take its toll. It creates gaps in each other’s live. It leaves needs that inevitably get filled in other ways, sometimes even by other people.

In addition, extended periods away from those we love also create a creeping sense of doubt. Where are they? What are they doing? Who are they with? Do they really have to be there? Can they really not be here with me? While good communications, and a commitment to openness and transparency, can help tremendously in minimizing this creeping feeling of doubt, and the threat it represents to trust, it remains that relationship trust is a fine crystal wine glass that once cracked, or chipped, will never, ever be the same.

So will that in mind, a little over a week ago, I offered to my Goddess the use of a smart phone tracking app… that would allow her to track my locations and movements at all times. Whether the app is running in the background of my smart phone, or my Goddess pings me for confirmation of my location and status, or I provide regular status updates, she will know where I am, and what I’m likely to be doing, at all times that cell phone signal is available.

My Goddess has received my offer with much enthusiasm, and the introduction of this “Invisible Leash” into our lives has been very successful up to now, although I think that she will be experimenting with a number of other apps to see which one will give her the level of control she desires.

Her frequent checks on my location and status, and my regular updates of the same, have kept us discreetly in close touch throughout the course of each day. Each ping, each check, each update, is a reminder of our caring for each other, of our love of each other, and a reinforcement of our D/s relational dynamics.

The quasi-constant contact is likely reassuring and comforting for my Goddess. It is reassuring for me too, since I feel that we remain ever-present in each other’s mind. In fact, a few times after responding to her checking in requests, I reached up to the Eternity Collar permanently fixed around my neck, touched the ungiving stainless steel, and enjoyed the warm feeling of remembrance of my belonging to my Goddess.

My hope is that the “Invisible Leash” will help maintain our incredible sense of connection, and stave off, if not eliminate, the creeping feelings of doubt that increasingly come up as relationships age. And besides, it’s so hot when my Goddess is in a controlling mood…

Moment of the day (E)

2011-07-07T20:32:00.000-07:00

Artwork courtesy of http://www.russianmistress.com/ via Miss and pet

Background:

Every morning that my Goddess and I leave for work at a similar time, we have a delightful ritual that we go through. It is a splendid, and very special, way for us to start off the day, renewing and reinforcing our D/s dynamics.

The alarm goes off on my bedside table. I get up, grab a few special items, and move to the kitchen to prepare my Goddess' coffee. While it's brewing, I clip the chrome and leather leash to my leather collar still locked from the previous evening... my Goddess enjoys holding on to, and tugging on, the leash to keep me close to her feet during morning coffee time. And I clip the clover clamps to my nipples... my Goddess loves to randomly tug on the chain to get my attention, or just because she enjoys the reaction she gets from me.

Once the coffee is ready, I bring it to a side table in the living room. I head back into the bedroom to wake up my Goddess gently, and let her know that everything is ready for her. Finally, I return to the living room and sit on the floor next to her usual spot on the sofa, while waiting for her to get up, go to the bathroom, and make her way next to me where, in a matter of a few minutes, my Goddess will enjoy her coffee, along with a cigarette, while watching some television before getting ready for the day.

Today's Moment of the Day:

Our ritual this morning pretty much followed the usual routine except for one variation... a small but oh-so-powerful twist that stayed with me all day.

As I went back the bedroom to wake up my Goddess after I prepared her coffee, she ordered me to remain next to the bed while she went to the bathroom. Upon her return, she firmly grabbed the leash, pulled it downwards to force me to get on all-fours, and walked toward the living room, pulling on the leash.

Immediately, I had a small wave of subspace come over me as I tried to keep up to my Goddess. I focused on her naked feet and ankles, extending below her bathrobe, as she led me on the leash. Once we got to our respective spots in the living room, she sat down on the sofa, and I sat on the floor at her feet. She shortened her hold on the leash, giving me just enough room to reach for the cigarettes.

And then the ritual got back on course. I lit her cigarette, gave it to her, reached for the ashtray, and held it while she enjoyed both her cigarette and her coffee, and watched a few minutes of television before getting ready for her work day.

Impact:

While our morning ritual is full of D/s symbolism and dynamics, this morning's seemingly simple additional gestures had a lasting impact on me throughout the day. Perhaps it was just the element of newness to a well-established ritual. Perhaps it was the suddenness and forcefulness of her actions, taking me by surprise. Perhaps it was the specific nature of her actions, triggering specific sentiments. Is there anything more quintessentially femdom in imagery and emotion than a submissive/slave being led on a leash by his beautiful dominant mistress? It is likely elements of all three. But I do know that it was wonderful to be swept by that small wave of subspace, to remain a bit tense anticipating what else may be coming up, to be in the control of my Goddess I crave so much. And I know that just as much as ever before, every little thing she does is magic...

Bring Back the Romance (and the cuffs!) (S)

2011-06-22T18:50:00.000-07:00

We have succumbed to our work life lately. More time with laptops, phone calls to make, and just in general we have been preoccupid with vanilla life. At first, it was depressing me. But now, I see it as an opportunity for growth.

I had a particular wake up call last week that has really made me think. I realized I needed to stop worrying about my lack of activity as it pertains to me and really focus on what that was doing to him. My conclusion -- This down time is going to give me a chance to make a fresh start in our deliciously romantic BDMS lifestyle.

Dymion has been so patient though I know his desire and attraction for me have not waivered. He has waited for his Goddess to workout her stress and health issues without complaint. Damn, he is the most wonderful man. I miss the smile he gets when he know something sinister is not far off on the horizon. I love the look of vacantness when he finds his subspace. I love that adoringingly gentle look in his eyes when a scene ends and it is just the two of us holding one another quietly. I need these things back...for both of us. It is who we are and how we connect. I am putting all my efforts in bringing us back to the days of pure delight and intrigue. I am quite confident we will get there.

I would be interested to hear if any of our readers have ever gone through these phases. I know it has nothing to do with losing interest, life just gets in the way. So, how did you bounce back? I know we are all different, but I have noticed that many of our readers are like us...couples who love each other madly and find an intimacy in BDSM/power exchange that cannot be matched by any other rituals. So talk to me...help me work through this and help me get back to the days where my dymion was paralyzingly obsessed with his Goddess.

One final point, Dymion and I have not once doubted we belong together through the down times. I just love him more than ever and I want to make our other connection even stronger.

Product review and field test! (E)

2011-06-20T06:02:00.000-07:00

The good folks over at EdenFantantasys contacted us a while back to do a product review. After a few emails back-and-forth, where they graciously offered us a product of our choice among a number their offerings in exchange for a review, we selected a splendid vibrator called the Silky G, in their section on G-spot vibrators, produced by a company called evolved. A vibrator, you ask? A little "vanilla" for us, you may think. Well, no, not really. This was an opportunity for us to select a product that was primarily to provide another avenue of pleasure for my Goddess. And besides, our collection of BDSM toys is fairly extensive so there isn’t a lot we are dying to get that we don’t have already.
Indeed, having something to help me provide my Goddess with pleasure through her G-Spot held a great appeal to both of us. First, anything to provide her with stimulation, joy, and satisfaction is important to me. After all, among my many duties in serving my Goddess, her sexual pleasure and the quenching her desires are critically important. Second, my Goddess reacts very readily to clitoral stimulation, but G-Spot stimulation has been much more of a challenge for a number of reasons. What better way for us to explore this area than to get something that is specially designed for that. Sharing our impressions and comments, and providing a review of the Silky G in exchange for the opportunity to play with an item that seemed to open new orgasmic avenues for my Goddess, was a deal we couldn’t pass up.

Of course, we were very excited when the item arrived by mail. There is a distinctive sense of anticipation one gets when waiting for items of a sexual nature by mail. And as soon as it arrived, we quickly took the item out of its package, and we were very impressed by the presentation.

The Silky G comes in a superb box that really makes it look like it is going to be something special. The box is metal, with a see-through top, and with two metal clips keeping it shut. This is definitely one of most distinguished storage we have for any of our toys.

When we took the actual vibrator out of the box, clearly this wasn’t your run-of-mill vibrator. Its unique shape, velvety texture, and good size give it a distinctive feel, and a pair of AA batteries gave it a rather good heft.

The full specs are available here, but the quick version is as follows:
- Food-grade material / Latex free / Phthalates free / Hypo-allergenic
- Length: 7 1/2"
- Insertable length: 6"
- Circumference: 4 1/4"
- Diameter: 1 1/4"
- Speed settings: 3

This review has been a long time in coming. But between business road trips, health issues, and tornado warnings, my Goddess and I haven’t had much time to ourselves of late, and even less time to write, as you may have noticed. However, I must say that once the moment came, the Silky G was an unqualified success.

On that particular evening, my Goddess' hunger was overwhelming. After some foot-kissing, it was clear that she was looking for more... much more. A first round of oral servitude quenched her desires but for the time it took for her to recover from her massive orgasm. This was the opportunity to move from the living room to the bedroom, where the Silky G, and some newly acquired lube, was on a bedside table. Moving from clitoral to G-spot stimulation, we were both curious to see if we would get anywhere... my Goddess is much, much easier to satisfy through he former than the latter. But the Silky G did not disappoint. Shortly after I had moved from the first speed to the second, well before I ever got to the third, our new toy proved worth the long wait and anticipation.

Of course, it is difficult to say that what is good for one person will be good to another, in such matters. But the Silky G, worked very well on someone particularly challenging to satisfy when it comes to G-spot stimulation , and I am delighted that I have another tool with which to serve my Goddess.

Our gratitude to EdenFantantasys for giving us the opportunity to review their Silky G vibrator, and for their patience with us. You can find the Silky G's page here. On this page, you’ll also find a funny video about the Silky G, and the impact it may have on a relationship...

In captivity... highlights of game night (E)

2011-05-06T06:22:00.000-07:00

"Male Slave Bound Helpless" by Andrey Samacerv via Femdom Artists

Putting down images and emotions that she etched in my mind before the fog of subspace and the passage of time blur the specific details...

Captured... collared... wrists bound and ankles bound... blinfolded on and off... I couldn't keep up with her challenges... I couldn't bring down the number of strokes... the penguins just wouldn't stay on the iceberg... 7 strokes here... 19 strokes there... I lost track of the other numbers... she demanded I be on all-fours... sat on my back... sometimes the paddle... sometimes the cane...

My Goddess ordered me to lay down on my back on the sofa.... I struggled to get on... my breathing became more laborious as time passed while she sat on my mid-section for the duration... I was just another layer of the sofa under her... she lit a cigarette... put the ashtray on my chest... teased me with her smoke... teased my nipples with the burning tip... ordered me to open my mouth... tasted her ashes... I was her furniture and ashtray for the time it took her to smoke...

She walked away from the sofa for a minute... came back and began her to draw messages and symbols of her love for me, her dominance over me... from the top of my chest to my privates... I would remain marked and identified as her property for days to come...

The aftercare was tender... warm... close... so incredibly close to her... belonged to her... she cherished her possession, her property, her pet, her toy... so incredibly close...

Artwork courtesy of Shohei Yamashiro from Slug on Leather via Lunar Black

Answer to Lady Grey: Comment on human furniture play (E)

2011-05-02T06:50:00.000-07:00

Image courtesy of cctdc via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

"As far as the human furniture thing goes, how do you feel while in that position? I know how it makes me feel to use Karl as a footstool or coffee table, and he's described it as a deep feeling of subspace as time passes, and says that he almost goes into a trance to maintain his position. The longer it lasts, the more turned on he gets by my indifference (there's that word again) to his discomfort and the fact that there's no timetable involved, no point at which he can be certain that it will end. How does that compare with what you feel, and does Selena torment you in other ways while you are in that situation, and/or punish you for wobbling or not maintaining the position she wants you in? I must confess that I do both." Comment/questions from Lady Grey in a recent post.

I find that our human furniture play breaks down in one of two types of scenarios. The first type of human furniture play tends to require effort, or there is an element of predicament-type discomfort. It may be the muscle fatigue building while I try not to move under the tension (supporting some part of her weight and/or mine), a localized pain such as a heel against a soft spot of my body, or a position that may make breathing or moving more challenging. This kind of furniture play is very subspace-inducing because of the discomfort/pain, and the elements of active dominance, control, and sadistic enjoyment, on my Goddess’ side.

The second type of furniture play doesn’t require that much effort or cause discomfort/pain, but it may still be very powerful in setting or maintaining a D/s mood. Examples of this may be my Goddess placing her bare feet against my back or on one of my thighs while I’m at her feet on the floor, reclining on/against me while we watch some of her favorite TV shows (usually there is some bondage involved), or requesting that I be in certain positions while we sleep so that she can lay on me in whatever manner she desires (her head on my chest, with or without bondage, or part of my body under her knees). This kind of furniture play reinforces the sense of ownership/belonging, service, and being her available for her use.

In both cases, the physical contact, the uncertainty of the duration, the D/s imagery of the positions, and the D/s tension of the interaction, are all large parts of the dynamics that give this aspect of our play a tremendous appeal to us.

Punishment is not a big part of our furniture play, or our D/s dynamics generally. My Goddess hurts me, in whatever form, for her enjoyment and satisfaction because, well, she just enjoys it and gets a thrill from my reactions to it. Certain predicaments she places me in, or challenges she imposes on me, may lead to more/fewer or more/less intense strokes (paddle/cane/flogger), but otherwise, it is a discretionary decision based on her mood and how excited she gets by my unintentional reactions. Neither one of us are fans of the possible manipulations that may arise from performance-based punishment. Not to say that it can’t be done right or that other people can’t make it an integral part of their dynamics. It’s just not something that holds that much appeal to us and our dynamics are of a different nature.

While some types of rituals or scenes are more likely to bring about furniture play, it seems to me that apart from scheduled favorite TV shows, or when it comes time for going to bed to sleep, it happens as spur-of-the moment inspiration on our part (mainly my Goddess’). Like bondage, like spontaneous hurting, like predicament situations, furniture play blends in and flows and from our D/s dynamics and the natural exercise of my Goddess’ domination and my submission to her.

Artwork courtesy of Shohei Yamashiro via Lunar Black

Coloring Outside the Lines (S)

2011-04-27T19:46:00.000-07:00

Image courtesy of http://www.sodahead.com/

When I was a little girl I loved to color. However, I wasn't one of those kids who could color the frog purple or a tree pink. In was appalled by my friends when they would color smurfs red...I cringe just thinking about it! That simply didnt make sense. Yes, I was a practical child.

So it is funny to me how much (as an adult) I enjoy coloring my new canvas, dymion. There are no lines to follow or characters to bring to life...simply flesh awaiting my creativity. Dymion and I are still debating what type of true tattoo he will get to honor me (suggestions anyone?), but in the meantime I enjoy trying out various options. In fact, we purchased a multi-color set of sharpies to make it even more vibrant and provide me more possibilities. So, maybe once a week as of late, I have tied him to the bed and started my temporary masterpieces...hearts, my name, locks and chains, sweet sentiments to remind him he is special...stuff like that.

A few days ago I came up with my best yet. I drew the Earth on his thigh with bright blues and oranges. Around the globe it read "Selena is my world". That about sums it up, right? I highly recommend this activity. It's way cooler than my old Smurf coloring book.

A vision of dominance and love (E)

2011-04-24T18:33:00.000-07:00

Image courtesy of models Shakti & Leo

She is sitting on the sofa, comfortably wedged in the corner of it, on the right side, wearing a loosely fitting pink bath robe. I am sitting at her feet, on the floor, cross-legged, just a bit to her left. Our morning ritual is not yet done.

In addition to my ever-present Eternity Collar, I am wearing nothing but my locking leather collar, a pair of clover clamps on my nipples, a shiny metal and leather dog leash, and underwear.

My Goddess removes the foot that was resting on the inside of my right thigh, places it on the floor, and crosses her legs. She pulls on the leash attached to the main D-ring of the locked leather collar a little tighter, pulling me in closer to her. She rests her right hand holding the leash on top of her knee. Her wrist is through the leather handle, and she has a turn or two of the chain around her hand to keep a gentle but firm tension on the leash.

She moves very slightly away from the corner of the sofa as she crosses her legs, bringing herself a little closer to me. That must be when she took up the slack, and more, in the leash's chain. And forced me to move my upper body up against the leg that is resting on the floor. Her other leg is coming across in front of me just a bit.

I turn slightly toward her, and I see the vision of my Goddess sitting above me in such a sublimely dominant manner. I notice her beautiful hand laying on her knee just next to my face, holding the leash, and I gently kiss her hand with all the adoration I can muster.

In one of those moments frozen in time, I feel my mind's eye pulling away from where I am, and visualizing the scene from the other end of the room. I so wish the moment would be captured in a picture or a drawing.

The mood of the morning ritual... the warmth of the interaction... the glow of the splendor of my Goddess' dominance... the energy my submissive reverence was feeding her... If ever I was to commission a portrait or drawing from someone like Sardax, or one of the other great femdom artists, as a gift to my beloved Goddess, this is one of the scenes I would want to have immortalized.

NEXT: a response to Lady Grey's comment on human furniture from the last post...

Can't make out the artist on the latter artwork, but it seems I first saw this image on the cover of a Centurian magazine back in the very early 80s. I'm pretty sure the mark on the lower right isn't original.

A quick recap of the last few weeks (E)

2011-04-22T18:59:00.000-07:00

Artwork courtesy of the one and only Sardax (http://www.sardax.com/)

So much is happening... so little time to write...

Lots of servitude... oral, sexual, and anything else my Goddess needs/requires... including cooking, washing, and cleaning...

Morning rituals every day except those I have to be out of the house before my Goddess wakes up... always wrapping up with some serious NT, and often with a short session with a leather paddle or a cane... and I never tire of my Goddess holding out her empty cup of coffee at me and teasingly commanding, "Coffee, Bitch!"

Many nights going to sleep with my wrists bound to the bed... so my Goddess can have me next to her when she falls asleep... and knows where I'll be all night...

Painting my Goddess' toe nails... a new activity for us... I'm horrible at it, but learning and improving...

Spending an increasing amount of time as furniture... sitting at my Goddess' feet and serving as a footrest when she watches some television...

Extraordinarly hot and intense and painful love making... always on her terms...

Spending virtually every single minute at home with my Goddess wearing the locking leather collar... the rare times I have failed to bring it to her for placing around my neck in the very first minutes we are both home has earned me some rather pointed remarks...

And I can feel my Goddess building up to a more formal session any time now... just a few days ago, she was telling me that she was looking forward to finding a day when she could keep me bound for the entire day...

The weeks and the months and the years are going by faster than we realize, faster than we would like. Yet, thankfully, the intensity and the passion and the love keep growing. And our daily D/s dynamics are more firmly entrenched than ever before.

Bound to sleep (E)

2011-04-08T20:42:00.000-07:00

Artwork courtesy of Snail Meilk via Lunar Black

On all but three nights over nearly the past two weeks, my Goddess has made sure that I go to bed when she does, at which time she has tied my wrists to the headboard of the bed. That way I'm available to her if she feels like causing a little pain. Or if she wants to cuddle. Or if she just wants to fall asleep with her head against my chest. And then I remain next to her through the night.

Or until she decides to release me sometime before the morning comes around...

The new routine (ritual?) also prevents me from getting distracted with work, the internet, TV, or anything else that might keep me away from her. While I'm usually pretty focused on my Goddess most of the time, this has definitely brought about a certain level of behavior modification in terms of my habits and my schedule around her needs.

I think my Goddess is seriously enjoying this new additional step in control over her toy. I love that even after these years together, she keeps wanting to extend and expand her dominance, she wants to keep me ever closer, ever more under her control. This new ritual further reinforces, and adds to, our respective senses of ownership and belonging, and our daily D/s dynamics, and I can't adequately express how extraordinarily close this brings us together and keeps us together.

She's just the awesomest...

Artwork courtesy of The New Bootblack's Oubliette

Pushing our morning ritual (E)

2011-04-03T10:08:00.000-07:00

Artwork by johnny via Nasty Blog

Yesterday morning, shortly after she woke up, I prepared and served my Goddess her morning coffee in the living room. I had on my locked leather collar, a metal and leather dog leash, and pressure nipple rings. That's in addition to the eternity collar which, of course, is always present.

As soon as I kneeled before her to hand her the coffee, my Goddess grabbed the dog leash and pulled me in close to her, tugging the leash lightly to each side, showing me she was clearly in control.

I sat at her feet, lit her cigarette, handed it to her, reached for the ashtray, and held it at a convenient distance for her. After she finished smoking, I reached for one of her feet, and began to kiss it gently, each toe individually, and back, and all over the top of her foot. I came back to the toes, and did the routine over twice more. Then I moved on to her other foot for hundreds more little kisses over her toes and top of her foot.

During this time, my Goddess gave the dog leash a pull every once in a while just to remind me that she was holding it, and that I was all hers. She also took the opportunity to tug on the nipple rings, smiling devilishly as the sensations in my nipples went from heavy discomfort to defnite pain.

Seconds later, I was lying on the floor, with my Goddess' feet covering my face. I deeply inhaled the sweet smell of her feet, and began kissing their undersides. She moved her feet slightly as I continued delighting in kissing and smelling them. In an absolutely intoxicating moment, my Goddess got her feet just right over my face and pressed down, covering my mouth and nose, and restricted my breathing for a few seconds. She released me shortly and I returned to adoring her feet.

My Goddess told me she was done with her coffee and needed another one, so I got to my feet, took her cup, and quickly made my way to the kitchen to prepare it. I returned, offered her the fresh cup of coffee, and sat at her feet to once me light her cigarette and hold the ashtray.

After she was done smoking again, with Goddess holding the leash, we moved to another corner of the living room where one of our leather paddles was on a shelf. I remained on all-fours while my Goddess sat on my back, facing the opposite direction I was, and she began to take the paddle to my backside.

The intensity of her strokes increased quickly. As the impact and reverberations of the paddle strokes made it more difficult for me to stay steady, my Goddess reminded me that she was counting on me to keep her from falling off. Some of the strokes really, REALLY stung, and as usual, she pushed me pretty hard. I was moving even deeper into subspace feeling her warmth and her weight on my back, feeling her trapping me between her legs, feeling her hold the leash, and feeling the rising intensity of the paddling.

With the last stroke, my Goddess moved off me, pulled my face close to her own through the leash, and her face was just radiant, exploding with joy, satisfaction, and dominance. It was just such a rewarding moment, and I closed my eyes to freeze in my mind the emotional, visual, and mental landscape that had been created.

A little while later, preparing to get in the shower before going to work, I felt my backside still very warm, and as I turn to see it in the mirror, I noticed the deep shade of pink that it still was.

What was an amazing way to begin the day...

P.S.: For a second day in a row, this morning we pushed the morning ritual again. It was very similar to yesterday, except that my Goddess added a few strokes to the paddling, and I got a chance to get some of her coffee... from her mouth to mine...

Artwork by wico via www.bdsm-artzone.de

Predicament in service (E)

2011-03-26T06:30:00.000-07:00

Artwork courtesy of Severin, via Lunar Black

A weekend morning a little while ago...

After our morning ritual of me serving My Goddess her coffee, lighting her cigarette, and holding the ashtray for her while remaining on the floor at her feet, she comfortably set up in the living room to catch up on some work matters on her laptop.

I moved on to some domestic duties while she was busy. At that very moment, I was reminded of the recent outstanding post by Lady Grey on The Appeal of Disinterest. The priority for me that morning was to catch up on washing clothes. However, complicating things for me was the fact that I had the 50' house leash attached to my locking leather collar, to remain easily accessible to her, and I was still in light bondage from the night before. My wrists were bound and locked by leather cuffs, and so were my ankles.

It was difficult enough to provide my Goddess with spill-free coffee service while in bondage, but I discovered a whole new level of required dedication and patience when it came to doing the laundry.

With my hands cuffed and clipped with a 3" double-ended clip, there was no way I could hold the clothes hamper, so I had to take up just a few pieces of clothes in my hands at a time. Since I could not grab a whole lot of clothes at once, that required me to do several trips between the laundry room and the bedroom, moving slowly and with many little steps because of my cuffed ankles.

While my Goddess was focused on her work, she did look up occasionally to enjoy my struggle, smiling that beautiful, evil little smile of satisfaction that only comes from seeing me in a predicament at her hands.

It wasn't long before I felt my ankle cuffs chaff the skin under them, and soon I would be feeling the turn of the cuffs on every little step. A little later, the wrist cuffs also began to take their toll, as I struggled against them to take up more clothes at a time in order to minimize the number of painful trips between rooms.

It was great relief when I got the first wash going, and I could move to other less movement-intensive duties. Later on, transferring clothes from the washer to the dryer wasn't so bad despite limited hand range, but it also meant that I was going to begin another set of trips between the bedroom and the laundry room...

Some submissives think that real dedication to their mistress is being able to handle the punishment she dishes out. Well, I have a new test of dedication for you all: cuffed hands... 3" clip... bath towel... folding it neatly... placing it over over clean bath towels but under the clean hand towels without messing up the stack...

OMG... folding clothes and the multiple trips in the clipped ankle cuffs over to the right drawers and shelves was a major exercise in frustration and patience. But I since loved doing it because it was in service to my Goddess, because she enjoys having me do housework for her, and because of the joy she gets seeing me struggle in bondage.

I never mentioned a word of how challenging that was to my Goddess, and reading this post will be the first time she finds out. I hate whining immensely in others, and even more so from me, so I certainly wasn't about to do any complaining. But now that my Goddess knows, I expect that it will probably only encourage her to do it more often.

P.S.: My Goddess had such a hearty laugh reading the post this morning. The visual of me trying to fold towels with my hands bound, and placing them without knocking over stacks of other towels, just so tickled her funny bone. She regrets not seeing it, and she told me we'll definitely have to do this again just so she can watch!

Last night's markings (E)

2011-03-20T09:30:00.000-07:00

Selena's Boy

Forever!!

[small padlock]

Locked for Life

The front right chest had, in the same pink Sharpie:

Selena's Toy

Beautiful Boy

[Small heart shape]

A little smudged after a night's sleep but the one on my back still comes out clearly. I'll be wearing these until they wash/fade out later this week...

I love belonging to my Goddess!

Pillow note (E)

2011-03-19T08:19:00.000-07:00

"Drow Love" by Darkest Drow, via Lunar Black

"BTW, I expect a collar on you every night when you get home - MINE! Not the usual one, but you have others to choose from".

~ Handwritten note left on my pillow when I came back home the day that my Goddess left for her business trip.

Every day when I came back home, after placing a leather collar around my neck, I took a picture and texted it to her, showing her that it was on, that I was home, and the time I had returned. I kept it on until I had to shower for work the next morning.

The reference to "the usual one" is about the traditional locking leather collar that only my Goddess can place around my neck, lock, and unlock. I am forbidden to handle that one in any way except offering to her.

The reference to "Mine!" is about who I belong to.

Upon her return from her trip, my Goddess found me wearing an alternate collar, which pleased her. But she rapidly had me fetch the locking leather one, and changed out the collars. The click of the lock on the usual collar was so immensely satisfying for both of us.

The joys of control at a distance! Such simple gestures, such deep symbolism. She is just the hottest!

Reminder (E)

2011-03-14T20:30:00.000-07:00

An Abuse of Power, by Caregan, via Lunar Black

I am loved,
owned,
& collared.

Selena

...Pink Sharpie marking my Goddess made on my chest last night... between rounds of heavy nipple play... taking advantage of the fact I was bound in wrist and ankle cuffs.

A reminder for me to see every day (until it washes off in 3-4 days) while she's away on a business trip this week...

The leash, and other sacred rituals (E)

2011-03-12T06:43:00.000-08:00

The Red Boots, by Silver Jane, via Lunar Black

In these difficult economic times for us, I haven't given my Goddess a lot of time or many opportunities for her to express her domination. She has been so patient with my very long days and weeks at work, so generous with her unconditional support, and so wonderful in making the most of our few moments together.

That said, there are a number of our sacred rituals that are part of our lives that are as constant as the rising and setting cycle of the sun every day, and I am so grateful to my Goddess for keeping these going, and for her continued enjoyment of them, always maintaining a certain level of positive tension in our D/s dynamics.

Recently, my Goddess asked me to re-install the long "house leash" to the bed. The first thing I did the next morning was to clip one end of the 50' leash to the foot of the bed, and clip the other end to my locked leather collar. Upon her waking up later that morning, she found the leash, and pulled me in to her, wherever I was in our home, so I could begin my day of service to her.

Speaking of the locked leather collar, it is still one of my most cherished pleasures that every night, upon my return home, as surely as the tides move in and out twice a day, the D/s dynamics of our relationship are celebrated as I kneel before my Goddess, offering her my locking leather collar. She places it around my neck and locks it in place, where it remains until I need to shower before leaving for work the next morning. It means so much to me that she feels as strongly about this symbolic display domination and submission, owning and belonging, as I do.

When I'm still home at the time my Goddess wakes up in the morning, I have unerringly taken the opportunity for our favorite morning ritual. I'll prepare her one of her favorite coffees, bring it to her side, kneel before her as I lay it on the table, light her cigarette, and hold the ashtray up for her. If we still have a little time, I will take take each of her feet, and cover them with hundreds of little tender kisses.

When time allows in the morning, I make an additional offering of presenting myself to her at wake-up time with nipple clamps or nipples rings on, wearing little else than those, my locked leather collar, my ever-present eternity collar, and some underwear or sleeping shorts. She delights in my willingness to suffer for her, and she can never resist the temptation of reaching out to tug on the nipple clamps or rings to tease me and elicit gentle moans for me that she so enjoys.

I make it a point of doing some domestic duties such as cleaning, washing dishes, and straightening out the house before she gets up, although it is never quite enough, and I must schedule my time better to keep our humble castle in better shape for my Goddess.

Often in the evening, in addition to the locking leather collar, my Goddess will enjoy placing locking leather wrist cuffs and ankle cuffs on me, whether there is any play to follow or not. It's just an ownership thing, and she knows how much I love to honor by having many tangible, symbolic signs of my belonging to her.

While the locking leather items may not go on if we are having friends or family over, I do try to fulfill my Goddess' expectations of being the serving host, and this subtle part of our relationship dynamics, is especially exciting as it goes relatively unnoticed by our visitors.

Of course, variations are numerous, and play may or may not follow our rituals. However, these rituals are the foundations that keep our love and D/s dynamics strong, constant, unshakable, and full of positive tension that keep us both in a state of always wanting to get back to each other, always wanting to be with each other, and always wanting to do more with/for each other.

Instead of being restraining, our rituals are means for liberation, and they reinforce our love and commitment to each other. To paraphrase Amy Gregory from an article I read a long time ago, rituals resonate within us, they comfort us, and what they communicate to us is even more important than actually performing them. Rituals may be intimidating to some, but they don't have to be big events. They are about connecting, they about celebration, and I think that my Goddess and I will continue to find solace in them.

Image courtesy of Miss and pet

Foot worship: Rush and excitement (E)

2011-02-12T15:02:00.000-08:00

Artwork courtesy of Lunar Black

My Goddess looked absolutely splendid lying on the bed, up on one elbow watching some television, relaxing after a long day. She had told me to refresh her drink, and I was hobbling back to hand it to her. Yes… hobbling.

A bit earlier, when we had come back, she had placed and locked my leather collar around my neck, and she had demanded that I bring her the leather wrist cuffs and ankle cuffs, which she promptly locked on me. The hobbling part was because she clipped the wrist cuffs together and the ankle cuffs together. Oh, how she loves to watch me struggle, puttering around to serve her. And while this inevitably leaves me feeling awkward, I am always happy to entertain my Goddess. The sexiness of her smile of superiority, the mischievousness energy of her having the upper hand, and her dominant giggles, are totally intoxicating.

After preparing her drink the first time, we engaged in one of our favorite card games. We played without me knowing whether she would punish me for winning or for losing. It didn’t really matter because by the time we finished, she needed a new drink, and that’s when I returned, with short hobbling steps, and found her on the bed, irresistibly, dominantly, lying there, and enjoying the spectacle of my minor predicament.

After placing the drink on the side table, my Goddess told me that she needed a foot rub. I instantly felt a rush come over me, and butterflies in my stomach. I could not return to the bottom of the bed fast enough. I fell to my knees, and reached over for one of her feet, not far away from the edge of the bed.

I thoroughly worked over my Goddess’ feet, cupping and kneading the pad of her heels, rubbing and stroking her arches, kneading the forefoot areas, individually massaging and gently stretching her toes, and generally trying to relax every part of her feet.

By then, my Goddess was laying on both her elbows, with her head back, her beautiful hair dropping down freely. She truly looked divine. I could not help but to move in closer, and I gently started reaching for her toes with my tongue. With the first licks, I heard a deep moan come from her, and then a bit of a shiver, and I knew that I had to get a bit more intimate in worshipping her feet.

My tongue made its way under, over, around, and in-between each of her toes. Her deep guttural exhales and moans urged me to go on. Next, I took in different combinations of my Goddess’ toes into my mouth, savoring each of them like delicate, tasty morsels of fine food, and again running my tongue over them, in a half-caress, half-massage kind of way. We were both entranced...

After taking care of both feet, the look in her eyes told me something had been started that would not be stopped. I could feel my Goddess’ need, her hunger. I climbed, as gracefully as I could manage in the clipped cuffs, onto the bed, and began to kiss her beautiful and smooth legs up and down. After a few passes, I settled lower between her legs, pushed my arms under and around the back of her thighs and over to her belly, where my hands reached hers.

As busy as it had been up to now, my tongue’s duties were not over yet. Delicately, I reached in with it, alternating slow and quick movements, teasing more gently and licking more forcefully, and I did my best to quell my Goddess’ hunger. It wasn’t long before she reached a thunderous climax. I moved up and held her in my arms as the post-orgasm trembling diminished to occasional shudders.

Once she had recovered, my Goddess pushed me away a bit, pulled my T-shirt over my head, unclipped my wrist cuffs, and reached for my nipples. This is the usual sign that it is time for more traditional love making, albeit under the condition of the delicious hurt she enjoys inflicting. Through the nipple torture she had so much fun with, she dictated the pace, and eventually the intensity, of an absolutely massive orgasm that wasn’t long in coming.

Image from http://yourbootblack.tumblr.com/ via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

6 weeks of the Eternity Collar (E)

2011-02-07T23:22:00.000-08:00

Image courtesy of http://m-gameboy2.tumblr.com/

It's been almost six weeks since my Goddess has placed the Eternity Collar around my neck, and screwed it closed. And its impact has been all we could have asked for.

Its heft and rigidity are constant reminders to me of what it represents: my submission to my Goddess, her ownership of me, my status as her toy, her pet, her boy.

Its presence, and the thought that I cannot remove it on my own without a very significant amount of trouble, are constant reminders to my Goddess of her dominance and control over me, and of my belonging to her. I am hers.

While there was a bit of self-consciousness on my part at the beginning, despite the pride of wearing it for my Goddess, that's totally gone now, and I don't mind in the least who sees it. The powerful symbolism and the physical reminder of our D/s dynamics are all that remain.

While the eternity collar in black (Phantom Line) is a classic piece that blends in fairly well with casual clothing and goes unnoticed under more business/formal attire, it is more much difficult to miss when if I leave the neck of a shirt unbuttoned, or if I wear something with a lower neckline (T-shirt, anything with a crew neck).

In a funny anecdote, I was getting my haircut recently at a barber shop, and the lady cutting my hair needed to trim the hair on the back of my neck. She took hold of the eternity collar to move it out of the way, and said, "Oh my God! That thing weighs a ton!" She did ask where I got it. I simply replied that it was a gift from my beloved, and it was a symbol of the strength of our love and relationship...

Interestingly, nobody else has said anything else about the eternity collar.

There is so much about of the eternity collar that I love. I love it when my Goddess grabs a hold of the eternity collar to pull me in for a kiss, to tell me something dominant or dirty, or to simply remind me of who holds the reins. I love it when we make love, and the D-ring of the locked leather collar my Goddess put on me in the early evening dings loudly against the eternity collar. I love it when my Goddess catches a glimpse of the eternity collar, and she flashes one of her dominant "I own you, Bitch!" smiles. I love it when I'm apart from my Goddess for a short while, and I feel the eternity collar around my neck, and I bring a hand to it, and feel its strength and its size and its warmth. And I feel the texture of the hinge or the edges where the allen screw keeps it locked around my neck.

And most of all, I love it that my Goddess feels so strongly about our relationship, and the nature/dynamics of our relationship, that she wanted to have as imposing a piece as the eternity collar placed around my neck, in all that it is, and in all that it represents.

Image courtesy of www.meninpain.com via Miz Helena

Game night (E)

2011-01-11T10:07:00.000-08:00

Image courtesy of Herrin Domino and Piotrushka (tumblr site not active anymore)

A little quiet time presented itself to us this weekend, and my Goddess was in the mood for some trivia. But as some of you might recall from much earlier posts, playing table games in our household tends to be significantly, hmmm, interesting, than what most people have in mind when they pull out the game board and place the pieces...

My Goddess and I enjoyed a wonderfully romantic dinner out, and did a little shopping before coming back home. During that time out, I had on locking leather ankle cuffs, a little tangible reminder of my Goddess' control and ownership of me. Upon returning home, I removed my clothes, and she added the locking the leather collar and locking leather wrist cuffs, she clipped the ankle cuffs together, and finally she clipped the wrist cuffs together.

As usual in this setup, it was challenging for me to get on and off our relatively high bed, and run for errands, and my Goddess always enjoys every second of watching me struggle moving around when I'm in bondage.

I managed to find a stable position on the bed, cross-legged, and we setup the game board, pieces, and cards. In addition to the traditional challenge of the game, my Goddess' rules were that if I missed a question, I would get four strokes of the cane for each point it was worth. For the normal course of this particular game, I could be in line for 120 strokes or more if the game went badly for me.

We picked our tiles for the first round, and each ordered them in order of our preference (from hardest/least comfortable field of knowledge = 1 point, to easiest/most comfortable field of knowledge = 4 points). She was up first (of course... she's the Goddess), and correctly answered her question. Then it was my turn... and I didn't know the answer... Crap...

I awkwardly made my way to the edge of the bed, swung my legs over the edge, and leaned over until my feet reached the floor. I hobbled to the end of the bed, where I leaned onto my hands and stuck my backside out to present a nice easy target for my Goddess. That question was worth 1 point, so I got 4 strokes. Not that many to start, but she made sure they counted...

I struggled back onto the bed, and the game continued. I got the next three questions to move into the lead (saving myself 36 strokes), and on the next round, I missed the 1-point question again. Off the bed, another 4 strokes. Next question, worth 2 points. I had no idea. Off the bed, another 8 strokes. I correctly answered the next two questions to maintain my lead (and saving myself 28 strokes).

In the third round, I missed the first question once more. So again, off the bed, and another 4 strokes. I correctly answered the next two questions, allowing me to complete going around the board and win the game, saving me any more strokes. Of course, my Goddess was disappointed, and to a certain extent, so was I, although I'm not sure if she was more disappointed at coming in a close second, or at the fact that the caning was done for now. It is worth noting, however, that in the past, the end of the game has never meant that she couldn't decide that I needed more caning...

She was, in fact, in the mood to hurt me a little more, and after we finished putting the game away, I stretched out on my belly, up to my elbows, as we chatted, and then she decided to climb onto my back for some scratching, some biting, and reaching underneath with her hands for some heavy NT over the course of about 10 minutes. As usual, my moans and squirmy movements excited her immensely, as she sat on my lower back, leaned over me, and had fun hurting me.

For some, it may beg the question, why did I not let her win? Simply, she expects me to do my best. We are both very good at trivia, and she would not at all appreciate me throwing the game, either to get more strokes or for her ego. Those are games we don't play. Nor do I ever intentionally mess up in my service to her in order to get "punishment". There's something dishonest about those kinds of mind games. Disappointing her, or incurring her wrath, would be terribly shameful for me, and not in the least something I would aim to get some pleasure from. In addition, my Goddess is way too smart not to see this kind of manipulation from a mile away.

Playful moments reinforcing the D/s dynamics of our relationship... under conditions of control (bondage, special rules) dictated by her mood... and her enjoyment of her power over me by subjecting me to sensation/impact play (caning, NT) that allowed her to physically express her dominance over my body and my mind... What a wonderful way it was to wrap-up the weekend!

Image courtesy of Eagerlicker via Dishevelled Domina

Morning attack! (E)

2011-01-09T09:55:00.000-08:00

"My arms wrap around you, pulling the hard plains of your body against my own. Lips trail down the side of your neck as I inhale your scent. Hands roam over you, a tug of your head as I pull your hair. Lips claiming your jaw, teeth biting. Nails dig into flesh. Pressing hips against you. Hungry for the man you are. For the man I know you are. Starved for the feel of your body inside of me."

"[G]ood morning, Lover "

Image and caption courtesy of Masochistic Beauty

Still in a fog from the deep sleep I was in, I feel sharp pain around my nipples, and my loins getting warm, tightening. A moan escapes me as I'm trying to get my wits about me and realize my Goddess is right next to me doing some NT... tugging on the central D-ring of my locked leather collar... raking her long, sharp nails around my privates and occasionally digging them in... grabbing hold of the eternity collar... going back to the NT...

As I'm slowly waking up to the delicious torment of the sensation play, my Goddess climbs up onto my hips and begins to grind down and gyrate against my rock-hard penis. No penetration, she just wants to feel me like this and hurt me for a while. She increases the intensity of the NT, making me squirm more under her. It excites her... it feeds her... it fuels her need to hurt me more. My Goddess dials up the intensity, the cycle keeps spiraling up in excitement and in pain. I feel the rawness of her sexual hunger, of her domination over my body. The hurt... my movement and my moans... her own movements, rubbing and grinding against me... she hurts me more...

This is one those moments frozen in time that seems to last forever while you are engaged in it. It still gives me shivers two days later as I write about it.

If I wouldn't have dipped into subspace so quickly, my Goddess might have brought me to the edge of climax. But this was all about her. It continues until that magical nexus when I don't think I can take anymore pain but I don't want her to stop for anything in the world. Somewhere in the cycle, at the nexus, my moans stop and she gets a whimper. How she loves the whimper! She lives for the whimper! And then a huge climax tears through her body. I can feel the reverberations as she slumps forward and trembles against my chest for a minute or two.

After the last of the tremors, my Goddess sits upright again, and moves up my torso until she lines up her hips over my head. I'm desperate to taste her, to bring her pleasure again, to have her assume such a dominant position over me, and to feel the tremors and reverberations of her climax against me once more.

I begin to reach in with my tongue, exploring gently, teasing, stimulating. I feel her already well on her way to another orgasm. I slow down a bit, but it doesn't make a difference. I slow down some more, and do more teasing with the tip of my tongue, but my Goddess is having none of it. She brings herself lower onto my face, and reaches down with her fingers to pinch my nostrils shut. I begin to work much more quickly, intensely, frantically. She has reached terminal velocity on her way to climax. She keeps me from breathing until she reaches orgasm, which is just a matter of seconds. As her climax literally shakes her off my face onto a sitting position on my chest, I take in a big inhale to catch up on the oxygen, and then I enjoy once again feeling the tremors of my Goddess' orgasm echoing through my body.

As my Goddess recovers, she moves off to my side, and tell me, "Entertain me!". That's our signal that she's had all the stimulation she can handle for the time being, but that she expects me to bring myself to climax in her presence. She's very close, lying along my right side, holding her torso up on her left elbow. She starts torturing my left nipple with her right hand as I begin to stroke my penis. Then she moves her head closer, and bites down on the right nipple. She begins a new pain-pleasure cycle for me with her long and sharp nails on one side, and her teeth on the other. More pain for me... more squirming and more moans and more movement for me... more excitement for her... and higher up we go in the spiral...

It really didn't take long. I don't know how long it took, but I know it couldn't have been more than a matter of just a couple of minutes. Somewhere climbing the pain-pleasure spiral, I absolutely explode and make a huge mess. Over my legs and stomach, over her leg and hip, over the bed. Wow... Just wow...

I reach for a couple of towels. We wipe down and wipe off. We kiss. We hug. We snuggle. And then we get up to get ready for work.

Good morning to you too, my Love!

Enjoying the end of one year and looking forward to the next one (E)

2010-12-31T22:00:00.000-08:00

Image courtesy of www.ruero.com via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

I've noticed my Goddess feeling particularly feisty of late.

We've had less time than usual for intense play during the last month because of work and health issues. But I can feel my Goddess so hungry she's about to explode. She's excited that we'll be regaining our privacy soon when we move into a new house. She's just beaming every time she takes a look at me wearing the Eternity Collar.

I feel my Goddess even more dominant than usual on everyday things, reminding me of how things need to be go and how they need to be done. She's found opportunities to hurt me, in a good way of course, almost every day of late. She's been recently demanding more attention, more affection, and more service. She keeps talking about what she's planning on doing to me the next time we have a little quiet time.

What a great way to wrap-up the old year, and to look forward to the new one!

Warmest wishes from both of us for a Happy (and safe) New Year to everyone!

Eternity Collar (E)

2010-12-30T22:23:00.000-08:00

Image courtesy of http://sexual.tumblr.com/ via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

Eternity:
1. Time without beginning or end; infinite time.
2. The state or quality of being eternal.

Collar:
A restraining or identifying band of leather, metal, or plastic put around the neck

Definitions adapted from the Free Online Dictionary

Something new arrived in the mail for us today. Something we had talked about for a long time. Something my Goddess ordered me to purchase a little less than two weeks ago.

We received the Eternity Collar that my Goddess chose for me. Stainless steel, black (the "Phantom Line"), 3/8" thick, heavy, absolutely ungiving, and kept in place by an allen screw that can only be removed by the thin allen keys that came with it (my Goddess has already made the allen keys disappear). I will be unable to remove it without asking my Goddess to remove it for me. Something I don't think she's planning on doing any time soon. In fact, she later said something like, "Get used to it... it'll be there for a very long time."

Shortly after we came home, my Goddess unlocked the padlock of the chain that had remained continuously around my neck for the last 13 months and change, apart from a few plane flights and courthouse visits, and replaced it with the Eternity Collar. Upon pulling away from me after placing and closing the Eternity Collar around my neck, and lining up the screw just right to lock it into place, my Goddess broke into the most joyous, satisfied, and dominant smile I have ever seen on her.

The Eternity Collar really is a superb piece. Making its presence felt around my neck by its weight and its rigidity, it perfectly symbolizes my attachment and belonging to my Goddess, her ownership of me, and the strength of the ties that bind us. It certainly makes very tangible the expression "owned and collared".

While we were both very tired this evening, the sight of the Eternity Collar around my neck got my Goddess rather excited, and she told me to make sure I don't make any plans for tomorrow evening... because she most definitely has some.

In the meantime, inspired by what she saw, my Goddess still wanted to assert some measure of dominance, and she locked some leather cuffs on me, and I will undoutedly remain bound until she decides to release me in the morning.

"If one understands eternity as timelessness, and not as an unending timespan, then whoever lives in the present lives for all time." ~ Ludwig Wittgenstein

Our Solace Returns: why this is good (E)

2010-12-29T23:00:00.000-08:00

"Suspension Love", by Ladenadenoire, via Lunar Black.

Following up on my Goddess' post, here are a few of the things that I'm looking forward to once we regain our privacy:

A return to the full compliment of daily rituals.
No more limits on my Goddess' expression of her dominance: more opportunities for impromtu bondage and BDSM and servitude.
My Goddess will be placing the locking leather collar much earlier each evening.
No more worries about noise caused by paddles, canes, or me (which will likely significantly increase the frequency of these activities).
Watching my Goddess' favorite TV shows while she keeps me in bondage; sexual servitude may be required at any time.
Spending more time leashed to my Goddess' side.
More nights sleeping in bondage next to my Goddess.
Playing my Goddess' favorite board games while she keeps me in bondage.
No more worries about prep, noise, or clean-up during strap-on play (which will likely significantly increase the frequency of this activity).
A large closet that can serve as a make-shift mini-dungeon.

The anticipation has been rising for a while now. In both of us.

Our Solace Returns (S)

2010-12-24T01:25:00.000-08:00

artwork courtesy of wallpaper-s.org

(artist unknown)

Earlier this year, Dymion and I moved to a new town. Since then we have had roommates while seeking out a new place of our own. They are wonderful people, but with roommates comes lack of privacy. Well, I am happy to report we are making a change.

Dymion and I will be moving into a new little cozy cottage in the next couple of weeks. Since signing the lease I have been obsessed with getting back into old rituals. Here is my plan for our first Saturday morning in the new place:

When I wake up I will probably hear my boy tap, tap, tapping away on his laptop in the other room. I know I will look over to his side of the bed and see that he has been obedient and attached his leash to his collar before leaving the bedroom in case I need him. I will give it a little tug and he will immediately come back to wish me a warm, "Good Morning" and see if I need anything. I am awake, so he must tend to me.

First, the coffee. He will go make me fresh cup in our little kitchen and bring it to me in bed. He will set it on the bedside table warning me to be careful not to burn myself (he is always considerate like that). Then, he will sit on the floor at my feet and light our morning cigarettes. He will then hold the ashtray up for me while we chat about the plans for the day.

When we are finished he will take my feet in his warm hands and rub, kiss, and caress. I love the feeling of his tiny nose moving from toe to toe as he makes sure he doesnt miss a single spot. I know he will then look up at me with his beautiful eyes and simply smile that milliond dollar smile. I so love him.

At this point I will not be able to resist I will grab the leash and pull him up on the bed beside me. In the past this has led to various things: snuggling, maybe another short nap, possibly some light play or really hot morning sex. I am not sure which will take place on that very first Saturday, but there are no limits to what we can do. The important thing is that this will be the first of many more Saturdays to come and we are back to our old selves. Let the games begin.

So,there you have it. We are starting a new chapter. A new place to make more wonderful memories together. Just him and me. It may be a small, simple little house, but it will be my castle as Dymion always makes me the princess no matter where we are.

The joys of control at a distance (E)

2010-12-14T22:57:00.000-08:00

A few weeks back, my Goddess was feeling particularly controlling and possessive. As I dropped her off at work, she requested that I go back home, put on the ankle cuffs, lock them on, and wear them until we were together again at the end of the day.

Shortly after I returned home, I received a text message asking me if I had done what she had asked. I sent her the picture above...

She got such a kick out of the picture! There they were, exactly as she had demanded. The little things that make her (and me) happy...

The tangible feeling of her control, her ownership, and my belonging to her through the sensation of the locked cuffs is incredibly special. I absolutely love it whenever she asks me to wear bondage gear under my clothing. I just can't stop thinking about it, reaching for it, thinking of what happened when she had used it on me last, and anticipating what may come. Knowing that my Goddess is excited thinking about the fact that I am wearing, for her, bondage gear that I can't remove is just so totally hot.

Aaah... the little joys of another day in the life of a loving D/s couple...

Product review and field test! (E)

2010-12-12T21:27:00.000-08:00

The good folks over at theirtoys.com contacted us a few weeks ago to review one of their products. They provided us with the Fetish Fantasy O Ring Gag with Nipple Clamps for free, and asked that we share our impressions and comments.

Well, it doesn't take much convincing for my Goddess and I to try out a new toy, especially if we don't have something like it in our collection. We found the idea of a toy that combined two of our favorite items, an O-Ring gag and nipple clamps, very appealing. So as soon as we got a chance, we took the item out of its box, and gave it a field test.

The O-Ring gag buckles behind the head, and attached to this leather strap, about an inch off each side of the actual O-Ring are two chains, maybe 8-9 inches in length, that each lead to an adjustable, rubber-tipped nipple clamp.

For those not familiar with O-Ring gags, these create a unique sense of vulnerability, and are somewhat in a class of their own as gags. Not particularly useful for silencing, they do however cause some discomfort by their shape and positioning (which is a good thing in this context), and they leave the submissive's mouth open for a variety of little torments. In addition, there is a bit of a humiliating element as drooling is particularly difficult to avoid with this kind of gag.

To the gag is added a pair of nipple clamps, on chains that are on the short side for me, I would like to add. During our little sceme, my Goddess had fun pulling my hair, moving my head toward the back, thereby tugging on the nipple clamps.

While we haven't gotten to play with this angle, the shortness of the chains would inevitably keep the head and eyes of the submissive in a humble downward looking position. Looking up, from a kneeling position, would create the same NT as the hair-pulling did.

My Goddess and I are pretty demanding in terms of the quality of our play toys, especially our leather ones, so we found the leather buckling strap attached to the O-Ring a bit on the thin/light side. On the other hand, it does the job just fine. It buckles tight, it holds the O-Ring very steady, and it leaves a nice mark on the outside of the mouth which is a trademark sign left by the use of any decent gag. But if we'd have one suggestion for design improvement, it would be to use a thicker strap.

The adjustable nipple clamps are good for low and medium intensity nipple torture. The adjustment screws can greatly limit the intensity of the clamps, making these good for beginners. With the screws loosened to the point they don't offset the tension at all, the clamps are tight but certainly not the "hurtiest" out there. Perhaps similar to clover clamps, and nowhere as intense as alligator clips.

It'll be one of those toys that's pulled out when there is a mood for a little extra sadism, or when a little more of a predicament is called for. A quirky, unique, inexpensive, and fun combo toy that we definitely enjoyed.

More on their ball gags: Ball Gags
More on their bondage stuff: Bondage Toys

I love hotels (E)

2010-11-30T11:50:00.000-08:00

Image courtesy of http://nylonjane.com/

I love road trips with my Goddess. I love our overnight stays. There's something exotic and exciting about spending time somewhere new, no matter how humble the accommodation or ordinary the excuse. We both always look forward to the inspiration that strange hotel rooms provide us with, and inevitably, because of the anticipation and excitement, some kind of scene always breaks out. And because some kind of scene pretty much always happens, the anticipation and excitement is always very high when we have to be on the road.

Business taken care of, a few sights taken in, a great meal at a restaurant, a drink at a bar on the way back, I held my Goddess closely in the elevator, occasionally kissing the side of her neck gently, and we walked back to our room holding hands. Once inside, we took off our jackets, and got more comfortable. As our ritual goes every evening, I retrieved the locking leather collar and presented it to my Goddess. She quickly took the collar, buckled it around my neck, and locked it in place.

"Get me your cuffs!" she said right after. Hmmm... inspiration strikes again? Or is it that overnight stays at hotels mandate stricter dress codes? In any case, I did not want to keep her waiting, and brought them back to her quickly. In no time, after I removed a few more layers of clothing, the wrist cuffs and the ankle cuffs were in place and locked.

My Goddess looked radiantly and divinely dominant, sitting on the side of the bed, with me kneeling below her. I could not help but to take up one of her feet in my hands and start kissing gently her toes, the top of her foot, and the arch of her foot, many, many times. She reclined back, resting her upper body on her elbows, enjoying the tender sensations of my foot worship. As I began licking her toes, I heard a deep moan come from her, and I noticed her throw her head back. She was as lost in the moment as I was...

Several minutes of foot worship and delicately massaging her toes with my tongue later, my Goddess rose from her trance, grabbed the central D-ring of my collar, and pulled me up onto the bed. Clearly, she was ready to play a more active dominant role.

Sadly, the subspace I was in at the time, and that further deepened as the evening went on, has blurred heavily in my mind the sequence of events that followed. However, here are some of the highlights that left indelible marks, pun partly intended...

It had been a little while since my Goddess had had a chance to wield any of the canes. I remember her using at least two of them, and she pushed me with both her beloved violet hard-plastic cane and the rattan one. She increased the tempo and the intensity until I could no longer remain on all-fours on the bed, twisting blindfolded and bound while the reverberations took over my body completely, and then echoed out. And then she grabbed the second cane, and in less than two dozen strokes, brought me back into the same physical and mental state.

I also recall my Goddess cooing over the improvised bondage position she put me in a bit later. She used an extra pair of ankle cuffs as anchors around the bed posts at the head of the bed. The size of the bed, and the shortness of the anchor points stretched out my arms fully, to the point that my head was also up on the headboard. She commented that she couldn't remember ever having me quite so stretched out this way. I could feel her glee through the subspace and the blindfold. Very proud of her artwork, she took a number of pictures for her to keep enjoying my predicament at other times.

In this position, and with my ankles cuffed together, I was open and vulnerable to a number delicious little tortures she so delights in putting me through. CBT, NT, scratching (her nails were particularly sharp that evening), some flogging... anything to see me writhe and squirm, to hear me moan and exhale, to feel me trembling under her touch...

Still being a bit sore from the previous evening of lovemaking, my Goddess was not looking for sexual servitude from me, but rather, what she calls entertainment. When she tells me, "Entertain me!", I know that I am expected to bring myself to climax while she continues to play with me. There is an incredible sense of control on her side, and surrender on mine, when she makes such a request.

I can feel how empowering it is for her to have me do this, and for her to control the pace, the duration, and the intensity through the pain she causes. There's something so incredibly submissive about being ordered to reach climax on demand for the entertainment of my Goddess.

After cleaning up and preparing to go to bed, my Goddess left my cuffs on, and we went to sleep while I was still partly bound. She loves holding on to my cuffs while falling asleep, and I love both the sensation of being in her control, and the feeling that she doesn't want to let me go.

Image courtesy of http://www.young-goddess.com/ via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

Predicament love making (E)

2010-11-16T17:43:00.000-08:00

Image courtesy of http://soumis.tumblr.com/ via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

My Goddess places the leather collar around my neck. She is sitting on the bed, and I am kneeling before her. She very deliberately clicks the lock in the back of the collar. The wrist cuffs are next. Gently but firmly, she straps them around one wrist, and then the other. She reaches for the small locks, and clicks those in place. Finally, the ankle cuffs go on, and those are locked on also.

She asks for the double-ended clips. I start standing up to fetch them, but a curt "Ah!" from my Goddess stops me in my track. I get back my knees instinctively... I should have known. The carpet is very rough on my knees while I crawl over to the toy bag on all-fours, but I still return to her as quickly as possible.

My Goddess clips the wrist cuffs together in front of me, and then the ankle cuffs. I remain on my knees as she reclines against the headboard. I reach for one of her naked feet with my bound hands, and pull it toward me. I begin kissing each of her toes gently. I do it a second time before moving to the top of her foot. She tells me that she loves feeling my "little nose" as I'm covering her foot with kisses. After a dozen kisses over her foot, I come back to the toes. I kiss each one of them, and then again in the reverse order. I go back to the top of the foot for another dozen kisses. I finish with two more passes over the toes. I move on to the other foot. I do the same pattern. She remarks upon the softness of my nose again, rubbing against her skin while I inundate her foot with kisses.

I can feel my Goddess totally in the zone. I'm also in the zone, but in a zone at the opposite end of the spectrum. She moves away from the headboard and toward me. From my kneeling position, I move my head forward as her hips move close to me. She opens her legs, and puts her feet on my shoulders. I gently begin to lap at her. She lies back completely, but on her way down, she takes hold of my hair, pulling me in just a bit deeper into her. It is barely just a few minutes before she reaches a thunderous orgasm.

Upon reaching the peak of her climax, my Goddess pushes on my head slightly so that I can no longer reach her with my tongue. She crosses her legs behind my neck, forcing my head to lie against her lower abs. I can feel the power of the tremors racking her body.

As the waves of pleasure quiet down, my Goddess uncrosses her legs and lets me go. She sits upright in the bed, grabs hold of the central D-ring of the locked leather collar, and pulls me up and toward her. I try to climb onto the bed, but it is unusually high, and with my feet bound, I need to put my hands down on the bed, and a come up with a short hop.

She keeps pulling on the collar, and I am forced to adapt and change position quickly. She lies back, bringing me over her. I almost fall on top of her. I catch myself, planting my bound hands over her head. She smiles. The clipped wrist cuffs and ankle cuffs make for a very awkward position. She knows. She still wants me inside her. She reaches for my nipples... hard. Something else is very hard. She knows that too. And she wants it inside her. I slip my cuffed hands under her neck, right above her shoulders. With the slightly improved position, I gently slide inside her as she guides my penis in. She returns to teasing and hurting my nipples. The angle is still uncomfortable, and she loves it. She hurts me more. I try to find a better fit by moving my knees a bit, and crossing my feet, still clipped together. She has no patience for my maneuvering, and digs her nails into my nipples even harder. I exhale loudly and plunge into her almost fully.

I'm still in an awkward position, and my Goddess absolutely loves it. She shows no mercy, and gives me no choice. This is how she wants me to fuck her, and she increases the torment and the torture of my nipples. Clearly, I am expected to reach climax like this, and give her what she wants. That's OK because I so want to. I so have to.

I'll take from my Goddess' reactions that the position, and what I did, worked for her, although I know my predicament was a significant part of her enjoyment. On my side, despite some less than ideal positioning, it did not take much time to reach a massive orgasm (I'm almost feeling the tremors again just wrtting about it.)

I kept shaking as I bent my elbows and pressed my chest against her, with my cuffed hands still under her neck. I uncross my cuffed feet and once more try to find a comfortable position while my heart rate and breath slow down.

A few minutes later, after some cleaning up, and my Goddess enjoying my hobbled walk to the bathroom and back, both of us are spent, and ready to crash and fall asleep. She leaves the bondage gear on me. I lie on my side, facing my Goddess. Facing away from me, she snuggles, backing into me. She reaches over to pull my arms over her as we put the final touches on our spooning position. She securely grabs the D-rings of each wrist cuff, looping her thumbs through them, ensuring that I can't move very much, and we almost immediately drift off to sleep.

Chastity: what it means to us (E)

2010-11-12T10:14:00.000-08:00

Artwork courtesy of http://lunarblack.tumblr.com/

My pleasure belongs to my Goddess. She loves being in control, and she especially enjoys being in control of when and how often I have orgasms. She loves being the only source of my sexual pleasures. My sexual satisfaction belong to her.

Several recent posts on the blogosphere, some by very respected bloggers such as Lady Grey, Mistress Milliscent (10/10/2010)Ms. Marie, saratoga (and here), Aarkey, and many more, have discussed chastity from several different perspectives. Chastity with or without chastity devices. Chastity and chastity devices as part of relationships.

Enforced chastity through the use of devices, like the CB-series of devices, or some of the beautiful pieces from Ms. Lori, are not part of our play. It doesn't make what we do any better or any worse than what other people do, it's just our way.

Chastity for me is hard. Very hard. And my Goddess knows that. I'm an everyday, or every second day kind of guy. And while BDSM scenes are extremely satisfying and fulfilling for me, and I have a need for such play on nearly as regular a basis, they are not conducive to me wanting sexual release. Heavy subspace and orgasms don't mix very well for me. I'm simply not in the same headspce. But it remains that in-between play time/sessions, my Goddess turns me on to no end, all the time, and the D/s-based nature of our relational dynamics only heightens how excited I am around her, and when I think of her. So waiting three or four days for release requires much self-discipline on my part, and if we close in on a week, I can feel myself edgy, irritable, and desperate.

Am I ever tempted to cheat? To sneak an orgasm while she's away? Yes. All. The. Time. Except, perhaps, the day after she brought me to a universe-shaking orgasm. But I don't cheat. I don't because I know how much she enjoys bringing me to climax, whether it is during sex (which is never without significant BDSM components), if she makes me have an orgasm while she watches, or if she forces me to reach climax during play. I would be devastated to have gotten an orgasm on my own earlier, and not be able to give my Goddess the satisfaction on my pleasure at the very moment she wants it. And I never really know when she'll want it, so I have to remain ready or prepared.

Chastity for us is about my devotion to her. It's about my Goddess controlling the relationship and controlling my urges and desires. It's about me being totally true to her, and fulfilling her wants, desires, and needs when and where she asks.

The hardest moment of the week to remain chaste? After sexual servitude. In the hours or days after my Goddess requires me to bring her to climax once or several times, in a variety of ways. There are few things that display as powerfully her dominance over me and my submission to her as the moment after I have sated her sexual hunger and she tells me after she's done, "Nothing for you today. You have to wait." During my time providing sexual service to my Goddess, the excitement grows in me as she becomes increasingly aroused, and seeing her reach climax almost brings me to the edge each time. But more often than not, the joy of seeing and feeling her have powerful orgasms is all I get, beyond the intense satisfaction of having quenched her desires.

While chastity devices would seem very erotic, and I can certainly see the appeal both in terms of how excited I would be to have something like that locked on me (the constriction, the restraint), and the freedom they provide (definitely removes the temptation), I doubt they will be part of our play anytime soon. The trouble and cost of finding the right fit, and hygiene issues (I am an obsessive clean-freak) outweigh in my mind what they would bring me in terms of additional pleasure. And my Goddess loves to see, and control, my struggle to remain true and devoted to her. It works for us. For now.

Could I go longer than a week or so? Surely if necessary, and if My Goddess requires it. At the same time, I expect that she would start having as hard a time I as would after a while, since my release is such an important part of her play. I think there are many similarities between Lady Grey and my Goddess in regards to this facet of our dynamics.

So there you have it... chastity... how it plays into our relational dynamics...

Her needs on a Monday morning (E)

2010-11-08T21:22:00.000-08:00

Bound Men I, by Mind Abuse, via Lunar Black

Pulled from a deep in sleep, I barely notice any light coming from outside. I feel tension around my neck, and pressure on my right nipple that rapidly becomes a sharp pain. My Goddess is tugging on the central D-ring of the locked leather collar, pulling me closer to her, and what begins as nipple teasing fast becomes NT.

My mind is still foggy when my Goddess pushes me on my back and mounts my hips (without penetration). She reaches for more NT, taking occasional breaks to reach back for some CBT, or forward to take a hold of one of the D-rings on the collar.

My movements and moans reacting to the pain she's causing is driving her crazy... in the best kind of way. She begins to gyrate her hips over mine. She increases the intensity of the NT. I can't help but to squirm a little more, to moan a little more. She gets more excited and grinds her hips harder and hurts me more. The cycle rapidly spirals out of control. She slumps over my chest. She grabs once more the central D-ring of the collar, and keeps hold of one nipple, which she hurts until a whimper escapes from me. A huge climax rips through her body, which feels amazing to me, lying beneath her. I feel her heart beat against my chest, her breathing fast and heavy against my body.

In a matter of a few minutes, like a tiger pouncing and devoring a prey to satisfy its hunger, my Goddess woke me up and hurt me until she reached climax.

She moves off me, and sits back against the head of the bed, looking down at me smug, dominant, smiling. But I can tell she's still hungry. I can almost tangibly feel the waves of her dominance and her sexual energy. I move over her legs, and bring my head down between her legs. Instantly she reacts to my tongue. She grabs my hair and pulls me in. The build-up is quick and incredibly intense. Again, in a matter of just a few minutes, she once more reaches a huge climax, shaking for over a minute after she pushed my head away from her.

Once she recovers, we hug, she gets off the bed and heads for the shower. That was it. This morning was all about her. And I was thoroughly delighted in this unexpected start to the week, despite the unequal score in orgasms (2-0).

Collar stories - 2 (E)

2010-10-29T21:09:00.000-07:00

Artwork courtesy of Detours

It's pretty obvious for anyone that has read a handful of our posts that my Goddess and I place a very high significance on the symbolism of the locked leather collar that she places around my neck every evening, and that she removes the next time we prepare to go to work. Or before the next shower, if we have a day off. Or before someone comes over to the house.

During the last few weeks, I've been driving my Goddess to work early in the morning before coming back home and getting ready myself. And most mornings, my Goddess has been having us leave the house before removing the collar.

With the advent of the cooler weather and heavier clothes, it has been easier to keep the collar, its D-rings, and the hanging lock in back, relatively hidden from sight when leaving the house. In fact, if someone knew it was there, and looked for it, they would catch a glimpse of it sooner or later because it can't be hidden perfectly unless I wear a turtleneck and a scarf.

But the collar has stayed on because both of us enjoy the sight and the significance of the locked leather collar so much, and it extents part of my Goddess' control and ownership of me another 15-20 minutes. It is unlikely anybody will have a good enough look at it to make out what it is, except maybe the drive-thru person serving us my Goddess' morning cappucino (and they normally don't have much time to chat).

Just before dropping off my Goddess, I park the car very close to her work for a minute or so, we look around briefly in case anyone is looking at us, I lean over her lap, she removes the lock and unbuckles the collar, and we have a kiss before resuming our trip to the front door of her workplace.

To borrow an expression from Serving B's comment to my last post, it extends the roller coaster ride just a little longer, and it will make the wait for the next ride just a little bit shorter.

And it makes you wonder... once fall and winter come along, if you go into a public venue with, let's say 200 people, how many might be there be with locked leather collars or locked leather cuffs or eternity-type collars/bracelets/anklets or with locked chastity devices on?

Best Costume Ever (S)

2010-10-28T20:38:00.000-07:00

In the spirit of Halloween, I thought I would share this photo. I LOVE this duck! I have seen the little SUB-a-dub-dub rubber ducky in several adult stores and yet have never broken down and purchased it. We always seem to spend our allotted playtime money on more "interactive" pieces for our toy box so I am certainly not complaining. However, someday I know I will make this duck mine...just as I did my Dymion.

Collar stories - 1 (E)

2010-10-28T12:03:00.000-07:00

Artwork courtesy of Lunar Black

Just before she leaves for work, my Goddess comes back to the bedroom to unlock and remove the locking leather collar I wear overnight, and in fact, wear most of the time when we are both at home alone.

I sit cross-legged in bed, and she comes up on the bed behind me, on her knees. I feel her aiming the key for keyhole, and opening the lock. That opening click is as sad a moment for each of us as the closing click in the evening creates almost a full-body tingle.

My Goddess removes the lock, places it on the bed next to us, and begins unbuckling the collar. As she begins to tell me that I forgot to take care of something for her yesterday, she pulls on each end of the now unbuckled collar, tightening it around my neck. She increases the tension as she continues her sentence, restricting evermore my breathing with every word.

Flashbacks come streaming into my mind at breakneck speed as that feeling of surrender takes over my mind and my body. Scenes and moments of control and bondage and breath play and isolation and immobility and dominance and submission... Hanging in our little make-shift dungeon... immobilized in bondage for the night... tied down for paddling... or for her strap-on...

She lets go of the collar as she ends her sentence and her chastising.

I'm as shocked at having forgotten to take care of that for her as I'm suprised at the unexpected breath play. The slip of mind was relatively minor, and my Goddess' reaction was mainly playful evilness.

It was one of those spur-of-the-moment inspired actions that can only come out of an environment where D/s is ever-present, flows freely, and anything is possible at any time.

I just would have enjoyed it more if it wouldn't have been the result of me forgetting something for her...

Taking what she wants (E)

2010-10-26T23:10:00.000-07:00

Image courtesy of Anais and the Ninja

I can't express how much I love it when my Goddess takes what she wants from me.

This evening, we're both lying in bed. She's about to turn over to go to sleep, I'm still working on my laptop. She reaches over to grab the central D-ring on my leather collar, and she pulls me in for her good night kiss.

She doesn't release the hold... we kiss for a few minutes... tenderly, passionately, lovingly. I hold my upper body up on one elbow, and use the other hand to caress her soft skin all over. We never have enough of each other when we kiss, but eventually, she lets go of the collar. We break off the kissing delicately. She turns over, and pulls the covers over herself. I help arrange the covers a bit. And then, she's asleep.

The taking of the affection she needs... an expression of her dominance in its simplest form...

Haunting smoking fetish moments & flashbacks (E)

2010-10-17T06:09:00.000-07:00

Image from Smoking Femme Fatale

I'm sitting on the floor, holding the ashtray for my Goddess. I lit her cigarette and gave it to her. I'll be holding the ashtray for her until she's done. She's looking down on her pet with affection, but also with a sense of control... power... ownership... For all the mystique of a beautiful woman who makes smoking sexy, who makes you weak in the knees while she does it, there nothing quite like being in a position to look up at her while she is doing it...

* * * * *

My Goddess reaches over and pulls me in close to her by the chain she keeps locked around my neck at all times. She reaches up to me, like she's going to kiss me. She locks lips with me. She makes sure our lips are tightly sealed. She exhales the smoke of her cigarette. I can feel her dominance rise like the phoenix over the horizon. She's in a mood. I will be subject to much more later on.

* * * * *

The nipple rings were really, REALLY hurting. I'm pretty good with NT, including a variety of nipple clamps, pins, and clips, but these pressure rings were really tight. I didn't know if I could go 10 minutes with them. My Goddess got 15 out of me. Then she knew by my reactions they had to come off. She asked me if I wanted them off. Unusual for me, I said yes. At that point, she said she would take them off... after her next cigarette. The mix of the subspace, the pain, the control, and her smoking was totally overwhelming. And I wasn't sure anymore I wanted her to finish quickly...

* * * * *

I'm in bondage on the bed, immobile. Feet cuffed and locked into a stretcher at the foot of the bed. Wrists and cuffed and locked and tied to headboard of the bed. Sight taken away by a blindfold. Other senses heightened by the bondage and the loss of seeing what is going on. My Goddess sits next to me, and blows smoke in my face. It is but the first part of what may come. Forced inhales? Heat play? Nipple torture? Forced smoking? Often it is all of them.

* * * * *

My Goddess returns to check in on me. I've been hanging in the closet during the time she was in the shower. Blindfolded, on my knees, with my wrists cuffed and locked to the high rack above my head. After even just a few minutes in isolated bondage, I can feel the warmth of her body and the aura of her dominance as she opens the door. She runs her nails over my skin, pulls on my hair, lifts my chin up to give me a kiss. She lights a cigarette. Teases me with it. Again, I don't know quite what she'll be in the mood for... could be forced inhales... heat play... nipple torture... forced smoking... it all depends on how much time she has before she leaves for work

* * * * *

We spend the evening over a board game... in the only way my Goddess will allow it... with me in bondage. She loves to see me naked for hours with my wrists bound together, and with my ankles bound together. She loves to see me struggling to throw a dice, place a tile, or pick-up a card. She loves to watch me while I hobble along slowly to get her a drink or get her a snack during the time of the game. She especially loves to watch me fumble to reach for the cigarettes, and light them when she says it's time. Later on, the game ends, she stands, and I move to all fours to prepare to stand up. She stops me. I sit back on my ankles. She stands over me. She pulls on my hair, snapping my head back. She's still holding her cigarette, and the ash is lenghtening. Will she or won't she...

Image courtesy of Code 831

The right stuff... at the wrong time (E)

2010-10-13T22:15:00.000-07:00

Artwork courtesy of Men in Pain, via Dishevelled Domina

I pulled down the laptop to the floor to show my Goddess something. I laid down in front of the computer, on my belly and elbows, and expected her to lie down next to me, in the same position, to look at what I wanted to show her.

She came over, unexpectedly sat on my lower back, laid down her torso along my back, extended her legs over mine, and looked over my shoulder on one side. Her hands went down to my sides. Her weight pinned me down, leaving me unable to move, vulnerable, one of our favorite positions for play.

I wanted to close my eyes. I wanted her to reach over with her hands, her fingers, her nails, and reach under my shirt, to the front, to tease, torment, and torture my nipples. I wanted her to sit back upright while she was doing NT and start grinding her hips against my lower back as she began to get excited by my moans, my squirming, my trying to escape her without really wanting to be successful. I wanted her to hurt me until she climaxed. I wanted her to...

STOP! REWIND!

We were spending a quiet evening with family, and some were present in the living room when I had something interesting to show my Goddess. I was very taken aback when she positioned herself over me. I really thought she'd come right next to me on the floor. Of course, she could not engage in the course of action that naturally ensues when she takes up the position that she did.

Of course, I did not close my eyes, nor did she do any NT, and no, she did not reach climax.

Just an exceedingly affectionate moment in the eyes of those who don't know.

Twenty-four hours later, I'm still having flashbacks to what wasn't. Today was too busy for us, we came back too late, and we were too tired, to follow up on this. Just the usual daily rituals and D/s dynamics for today. And so the hunger grows more consuming...

Now that was torture... and not of the hot, subspacey, D/s kind.

A little time of our own - part 2 (E)

2010-10-09T22:17:00.000-07:00

Artwork courtesy of Cruella via Dishevelled Domina

If you haven't read part one, go do it now... this is the continuation of the same evening...

Bound, senses taken away, lost in subspace, I can feel my Goddess' dominance radiating and reaching me in an almost tangible way. I can hear the syren song of her power in every word she says... every gesture she makes... every action she takes...

She leaves me alone bound and immobile for a minute, and returns shortly. She begins to tease my nipples, moves down for some CBT, and comes back to the nipples more forcefully. I actually don't hear her light her cigarette, but it was clear that she had when I felt her first exhale is directed to my face. Subspace just keeps getting deeper. Her next drag comes right to my mouth as she grabs the central D-ring of my collar to make sure I don't move as her mouth covers mine. Some smoking play follows... forced inhales... forced smoking... punctuated by my Goddess doing some cigarette torture, tormenting my nipples with the tip of her lit cigarette. I try to stay still for her, despite the occasional searing heat approaching one nipple, and then the other, between breathing in her exhales, and some forced smoking. As she hits on so many smoking fetish buttons, I have vivid flashbacks running through my mind of imagery of her smoking, exhaling, and handling a cigarette at other times, when I could see her.

Winding down somewhat, my Goddess does not want to close out such powerful time together without leaving us both with something to remember... markings.

We both love markings, each for our own reasons. Playful and full of symbolism, even the temporary nature of the playful markings my Goddess will apply on me can make for some powerful emotions during play. They reinforce the dynamics of our everyday life. And they are vivid reminders for days after.

This time, it is a chain of roses around my right upper arm. A heart on the right side of my chest. And an "S" for Selena on my... member. As she applies it, she reminds me that it belonged to her anyways. And that I belonged to her.

Yes it does, my Love... and yes I do...

A little time of our own - part 1 (E)

2010-10-08T10:45:00.000-07:00

Artwork courtesy of http://snail.meilk.com/ via Lunar Black

Three evenings ago... Where to start... I'm not sure...

I'm not even sure how it started... in what order things happened... if I'm remembering everything...

Deep, deep subspace. Intoxicated, infatuated, entranced. Totally under her spell. And it made us both so happy.

A leather blindfold is placed over my eyes. My Goddess tells me to get on all fours on the bed. A few seconds later, the first sharp and stingy strikes of the latex flogger comes down on my backside... on the back of my thighs... on my lower back... on the side on my thighs... Maybe two dozen strokes later, my Goddess switches to the swatters. Both of them. Double-swats, consecutive swats, up-and-down-and-all-around my backside. Then she switches again. This time to a suede flogger. Or did she do this one before the swatters? Can't tell anymore. She's going at it, at me, pretty vigorously. But she complains that it doesn't seem to have as much of an effect on me as she as she'd like. It does. On so many levels, it does. I'm just trying my best to hang in there to let my Goddess enjoy herself. I've lost count. Her target areas feel warm. There a stinging echo that lasts beyond one strike to blend into the next one. I'm drifting in subspace...

I realize she stopped well after the last strike of the purple suede flogger.My Goddess orders me to lie on my back. She clips my wrist cuffs to the D-rings on my locked collar. It's one of those very open and somewhat awkward positions that leaves me very vulnerable. She also clips my ankle cuffs together. Still blinfolded, I suddenly pick-up the delightful smell of her skin next to my nose. Close. Very close. I feel something touch my lips. It's one of her nipples. I reach out with my tongue and wet the tip. She leaves it there. Slowly I run my tongue around her the nipple and over it. She lowers her breast. I have no choice but to take in part of it in my mouth. I keep gently licking the nipple. She lowers her breast even more, and it now covers my mouth completely and part of my nose. My breathing can be heard as the air is funneled through smaller openings. She lowers her breast still more, and pinches my nose shut with her fingers. My tongue is working around the nipple in my mouth frantically. At the same time, I try to relax. I've surrendered completely to her. She's in total control. After a certain amount of time (10 seconds? 15? 30?) that I can't even begin to try to guess, she lifts her chest up and I take in a huge breath.

Leaving me just the time for four or five breaths, my Goddess returns to my mouth with her other breast. She lets me tease the nipple a bit, lowers the breast, I lick more forcefully, and then she drops her chest to cover my mouth and part of my nose again. After a few seconds of my tongue playing with her nipples, once more she pinches my nostrils shut, just in case her breast was not enough (it was). Can't breathe through either my mouth or my nose. She keeps me without breathing longer this time. Waiting until I just start to struggle to breathe, she says in a haughtily playful tone, "There are worse ways to die..." And then, she releases her hold on my breath.

To be continued...

Of collars and bondage, and ownership and belonging (E)

2010-10-04T10:49:00.000-07:00

"Dominate Your Man Today" by Horus-Goddess

Over the weekend, 36 uninterrupted hours of wearing the locked leather collar... around the home, and on two errands outside the home. I intoxincatingly belonged to my Goddess...

An evening with my wrists and ankles bound, entertaining my Goddess... playing board games, watching television, doing whatever little thing she required of me. And after all the time we've been together, My Goddess' mischevious smile and her sense of enjoyment watching me hobble around the house has never diminished...

I spent overnight sleeping in bondage next to my Goddess... Limited in my movements, which inevitably kept me in various positions of contact with her. Couldn't get away... Didn't want to get away...

This morning, my Goddess removed my leather collar and the four locked cuffs before leaving for work, she told me she expected the house to be straightened out and significantly neater when she returned. Nothing makes cleaning up around the house as enjoyable as when my Goddess is expecting it, and will notice it.

As a side note, the arrival of the cooler weather is delightfully promising of more frequent, but discreet, outdoors kinky play. Jackets, fleeces, and sweaters are great to hide the locked leather collar during daytime errands or excursions with my Goddess; occasionally, the locked wrist cuffs may also be on. The return of long pants will have my Goddess locking ankle cuffs before I leave for work.

The warmth under the leather. The texture and the firmness of the leather. The ungiving of the secure locks. The restraints of the clips and ties. Sensuality... exchange of power... dominance and submission... vulnerability and trust... control, and surrender... belonging and ownership... Each from our particular position, we so enjoy these little moments full of symbolism and excitement.

Sexy interlude: view from the bottom (E)

2010-10-03T09:00:00.000-07:00

Artwork courtesy of Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

Little did I know my Goddess was planning to write about our "Sexy Interlude" from a few evenings ago. This entry will give you the opportunity to contrast the same interlude from her dominant perspective and from mine.

I thought I was just returning to the bedroom to go to sleep. But my Goddess was in matching bra and panties, lying on her stomach, watching something on her computer. And she looked stunningly sexy.

On my way to getting next to her to see what she was watching, I grabbed the locking leather collar from the dresser so that I could offer it to her, as is our nightly ritual. She took the collar, placed it around my neck, locked it, and grabbed the front D-ring to pull me closer for a kiss.

We kept on kissing passionately for a minute or two. She smelled so good... her lips were so soft... her body was so warm... and having her next to me felt so good.

Bringing our kissing to a gentle stop, my Goddess softly but firmly told me to get her a blindfold. I went into our toy bag, and brought a leather blindfold back to her quickly. She put it on me, she told me to lie back, and she positioned me exactly as she wanted.

My Goddess got up, and took a few steps away from the bed. I heard her rummage through some stuff, and shortly after I felt the cool softness of rope going around my lower legs. She looped the rope about half-a-dozen times, and bound my ankles in a column tie. I then felt some tension on my legs as she tied the ends of the rope to something heavy past the foot of the bed, likely the dresser standing against the opposing wall.

As soon as my legs were secured, I felt my Goddess move up to tie my wrists with a very soft fabric, and place my hands over my head in a firm enough manner that I knew I was not to move them until such a time she told me I could.

Finally, she sat on top of my hips, and began to rub herself against me, and gyrate, in a most suggestive manner, getting me very excited and erect. She also began teasing and hurting my nipples, and as I was reacting to her NT, she became even more turned on herself. In no time at all, she lifted her hips, grabbed my member firmly, and lowered herself on it, and on me, and resumed her movements. Bound and very limited in movements, I could only lay back and enjoy the ride as my Goddess used me as she wanted, satisfying simultaneously her sexual urges and her need to hurt me.

Her first orgasm came quickly. Her post-orgasm trembling sent a powerful shudder through my body, but that was all I was going to get for now. She moved off me for a few moments and focused more on some sadistic teasing, running her nails deeply over my chest and my sides.

Rapidly my moans and my gentle squirming got her excited again, and she mounted me a second time. The NT was more intense this time, and as I moved more forcefully against the bondage, she came to a huge climax a second time, just barely taking more time than for the first one.

My Goddess leaned and rested over me. I could feel her chest heaving against mine, her breathing heavy and quick, and her heart racing. I can't express how satisfying it is to bring pleasure to my Goddess, even in a small way.

Once she recovered somewhat, my Goddess laid on the side next to me. One hand supporting her head, her body alongside mine, she began on CBT with her left hand, and moved back and forth between the CBT and some NT for a minute of two. She explained to me that she expected me to provide myself with an orgasm for her own enjoyment. And then she released my wrists from bondage.

This was a new position for me. On my back, legs tied tight, blindfolded, I hesitated for a moment. She said in a deliciously dominant voice, "You wouldn't want to disappoint me, would you?"

I began to touch myself as my Goddess returned more vigorously to torturing my nipples with her left hand, one side at a time. Each 30 seconds or so she would focus her efforts on one of the nipples, and then return to the other. After a few minutes of this, she dug her nails, and twisted and tortured the left nipple, and she brought her head close to my chest to begin biting the right one. Moans became whimpers, which excite her to no end. She squeezed harder on the left, bit down harder on the right, and with a loud whimper coming from deep inside, I absolutely exploded, uncontrollably shooting cum all over my stomach and her right hip and upper thigh.

The climax felt like it would never end. I couldn't help but to continue moving my left hand up and down until the intense waves of pleasures faded completely, and my Goddess had released my nipples from her delightful torment.

Totally spent, I just laid there, catching my breath, as I felt my Goddess leaning over my side, positively radiating in satisfaction and dominance, proud of her improvised little interlude that was such powerful release for both of us.

Please Pause for a Sexy Interlude (S)

2010-09-30T19:23:00.000-07:00

Dymion and I haven't had much time to play lately. Our living circumstances are not conducive to the privacy we really need to let go and explore. However, we have managed to supplement our activities with what I like to think of as deviant interludes.

A couple of nights ago we made it happen. When he returned from the shower I was dressed in a matching bra/panty set smelling sweetly of oranges from soap and perfume. I laid on the bed and slowly watched him walk in. The smell and warmth of his skin was pretty overwhelming. I wanted him close. I needed to kiss. I needed to be the center of his universe for just a little while. Within seconds his locking collar was back around his neck....MINE.

Now let's see:
1) Blindfold (check!)
2) Rope (check!)
3) Hankerchief (check!)
4) Clothes Pins (check!)
5) Naked Pet (check!)

I am sure you can use your own imagination as to where the props came into the interlude. But I will elaborate a bit more. Once completely secured in his rope, I mounted his stomach pushing my body against his. SOOOO WARM. The light caresses soon turned to penetration in a position we don't often explore. I was on top of him. His hands were tied in over his head, his legs were tightly bound to the dresser at the end of the bed. He was defenseless to my desires. So, I stayed there, found an excellent position, and began moving rhythmically at my own pace. Eventually I reached climax.

Climactic Factors:
- SOOOOO WARM!
- the rhythmic waves we created
- awesome noises from my pet
- the visual of seeing my darling dymion helpless (and I suspect loving every bit of it).

In. fact, I know he loved it. When I reached orgasm I laid down next to his bound body and gave him his orders for the night. He was to bring himslef to climax lying on his back, feet tied tight, and blindfolded. This is an unusual request coming from me. Dymion has never reached orgasm in that position. But he didn' want to disappoint me. So with the pressure high to keep the Goddess happy he worked hard on the effort. I occasionally helped him by bestowing intense pain on many of his sensitive spots and reminding him softly that he was doing this for me and only me. There wasn't much waiting after that.

This may just sound like another scene to those who actively play, but I can reassure you that this was one extraordinarily HOT INTERLUDE. Maybe it wasn't 3 hours in a professional dungeon, but for those few minutes it was just him and me... alone... together... beautiful... Dominant...Submissive... Doing the deviance that deviants do....and with a lotta love!

Relational needs - Part 2 (E)

2010-09-26T11:35:00.000-07:00

Artwork courtesy of http://ridingwild.tumblr.com/

As a follow-up to my first part on relational needs, I wanted to return to Willard F. Harley Jr.'s book "His Needs, Her Needs." One of the key points he tries to make is the following:

"Become aware of each other's emotional needs and learn to meet them."

In a sub-section titled "His needs are not her needs", he says that he's been able to classify ten major emotional needs:
1- admiration
2- affection
3- conversation
4- domestic support
5- family commitment
6- financial support
7- honesty and openness
8- physical attraction
9- recreational companionship
10- sexual fulfillment

In innumerable interviews done over the course of more than 15 years, Harley discovered why it was so difficult for men and women to meet the needs that are so important to the other. When he asked couples to list needs according to their own priorities, the men listed them one way and women the opposite way. "Of the ten basic emotional needs, the five listed as most important by men were usually the five least important for women, and vice-versa."

So clearly there lies three major obstacles for two individuals to be happy together:
1- identifying the other's needs
2- understanding the other's needs
3- fulfilling the other's needs

But before going further, I'm curious to know: How are the ten emotional needs influenced or affected by the dynamics of a D/s relationship? A femdom one in particular? Do the power dynamics permeate through all ten of the emotional needs? Most of them? Just a few of them? Or only sexual fulfillment?

So the four questions I put out there for you today are the following:
1- What are the five top emotional needs in your relationship for you?
2- What are the five top emotional needs of your partner?
3- If you are living in a relation that you consider to have a strong D/s component, how are these emotional needs influenced/affected by the D/s dynamics?

4- How well are you bridging the gap to meet your partner's needs?

As a side note, you will find three polls on the upper right of our blog. I encourage each of you to take a few moments to fill out two of the three polls that would apply to you. Let's see what you come up with in terms of gender differences, and where people think there may be emotional needs that are altered in their nature by a D/s lifestyle or not.

I'm sure the answers vary as much from one specific D/s couple to another as the lists of emotional needs do from one vanilla couple to another. But considering the basic premise of the difficulty in having a man and a woman in a relationship having a similar list of priorities, and the belief that most people in the lifestyle have that a D/s dynamics adds a whole new layer of complexity to the relationship, it seems particularly important for us to wade through this attentively, otherwise there is really no chance on either side for happiness.

If you are going to fill out the polls (and I'd really like to you to do so), please do it now before reading further.

* * * * * * * * * *

So let me share with you some thoughts on how these ten emotional needs play into the relationship between my Goddess and I, and specifically what role D/s plays within each of those needs. Of course, this is meant only as an illustration of how one particular relationship works, and it's certainly not indicative of how any relationship should work.

Since this post is already getting pretty long and unyieldy, I will start with just one, and andI'll follow up with the other nine over the course of other blog entries in the future.

Admiration: A sentiment we both have for each other, and that we often express to each other. My Goddess is my biggest fan. She is quite vocal in her admiration of what I do in the real world, and of my personal qualities. I'm her biggest fan also, and I am unreservedly enthusiastic about both her accomplishments and her personal qualities, to her and to people around us.

In relation to D/s dynamics, I think that this element is a huge part of our play. This mutal admiration plays out in opposite direction, as her admiration for me makes me a more attractive target for her dominant desires. The fact that she sees so much in me makes it more enticing for her to control me, to dominate me, and to own me.

On my side, my admiration for her makes it easy for me to want to serve her and worship her. When given the opportunity, getting things ready or doing things for her gives me a sense of higher purpose. It's easy to want to treat my Goddess well because I admire her so much. Appreciating how wonderful, smart, funny, caring, beautiful and sexy she is, and how important she is in my life, the distance between admiration and worship is not great. Add to that the element of her dominance, and the emotional need of admiration is one that is not only an important one for us, but one that keeps up close together, and one that has become colored by the D/s dynamics of our relationship.

Am I meeting all her needs in this area? How can one ever be sure? I think I'm doing a decent job, although I keep looking for ways to do better and do more. In view of how much I admire her, it's just a matter of making sure she knows how I feel.

Toys for the road trip (E)

2010-09-24T12:00:00.000-07:00

Artwork courtesy of Dark Angel Designz, via Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

Do you have any idea what's going to happen? Neither do I. Well, a general idea, of course... but not exactly. Be that as it may, my Goddess will have some options...

Striking instruments:
- 3 paddles (1 hard plexiglass, 1 leather, 1 leather with metal rod inside);
- 2 swatters
- 3 floggers (1 small-latex, 1 medium-purple suede, 1 large-leather);
- 1 leather crop
- 3 canes (1 x 30" rattan, 1 x 24" twisted hard plastic, 1 x 30" purple lexan)

Bondage:
- 1 x 1.25" locking leather collar (the one my Goddess locks on me every night to go to sleep)
- 1 x 2.5" locking collar
- 2 sets of locking wrist cuffs
- 2 sets of locking ankle cuffs
- 2 x 30" bendable metal padded ties
- 2 leather blindfolds
- 3 gags (1 x ball gag, 1 x leather gag (large), 1 x O-ring gag)
- 2 dog leashes (1 x 24" medium links, 1 x 30" large links)
- 1 x 50' rope leash (clip-on)
- ropes (35', 25', 2 x 12.5', 2 x 6')
- a dozen small locks
- 10 double-ended clips

Implements:
- 2 Wartenberg wheels (extremely sharp)
- 50 wood clothespins (full-size)
- 30 plastics clothes pins (full-size)
- 25 plastics clothes pins (small)
- 1 set of sounds (8)
- Candle
- Testicule stretcher
- Gates of Hell
- Cock harness

Anal play:
- 1 Betty's Jelly Bumble Bee strap-on (8.5")
- 1 leather harness for strap-on play
- 1 dildo (6") for strap-on harness
- 1 dildo (9" with bead pattern)
- 1 large anal vibrator
- 1 prostate massager
- 1 thin vibrator
- latex gloves

And it's hard to believe, but we're leaving some other stuff behind...

Miss you more (S)

2010-09-16T19:15:00.000-07:00

Dymion has been working a lot lately. Gotta love a powerful man, right? The appeal for me is simple. I can watch him teach a class or serve on a panel. I can hear him discuss the hot topics in the world and be blown away by the wealth of knowledge he has and how he expresses it. I love how some people are annoyed by this as if it is egotistical. I love that some people are truly impressed all the information. I really love it when he truly reaches a student, a participant, or some listening to him.

But above all else, I love the fact that this amazing, well-spoken man belongs to me and would lick my boots at a moment's notice. He would work his magical hands and mouth to bring me to the ultimate climax anytime I need him to. He is 100% there for me. Always. He is a wonderful, smart, sexy, funny, loving man...but he is also a hell of great pet for his Goddess. I truly have the best of both worlds.

Thank you , Dymion for these last 20 months we have been together. I feel more lucky every single day.

Picture courtesy of Male Submission Art

Morning goodbye (E)

2010-09-14T09:43:00.000-07:00

Artwork courtesy of Madame Says, via Female Power

It's time to go to work... each on our side...

She must leave first, and comes over to see me while I'm sitting on the edge of the bed...

Standing next to me, she pulls me closer by taking hold of the permanently locked chain around my neck... she grabs my hair... snaps my head back... and gives me a kiss...

She releases my hair but leaves her hand there...

She slips her other hand down my chest, from the top, under my T-shirt...

She pulls on my chest hair... hard... and tells me she loves doing that...

Her fingers are searching for her target... she finds my right nipple...

She squeezes the nipple... adjusts her hold... gets a better position with her nails...

She pulls on my hair again... harder... cocking my head back even further... and increases the NT even more...

She tells me she'll miss me today... and kisses me again...

She releases both holds, and puts both hands around the base of my throat and neck... she squeezes gently... just to hear 3 or 4 labored breaths...

One more kiss while she enjoys listening to my breathing... and just like that, she's off...

I'll miss you too, my Love, I'll miss you too...

Relational needs - Part 1 (E)

2010-09-12T11:43:00.000-07:00

Artwork courtesy of Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress

Differences in the relational needs of partners have always been of interest to me. It has been especially fascinating to observe and find out more about differences in relational needs in D/s relationships, since there is, in addition to having the element of gender, the elements of dominance and submission, fetishes and kinks, and specific play activities and scenes.

Of course, there is no way to tackle such a huge subject in one blog entry. But I hope to push gradually further in this area over the course of several entries as time allows.

Let me start with my own adaptation, for the purpose of today's reflections, of a few elements in the introduction of Willard F. Harley Jr. 's book "His Needs, Her Needs", one of the most celebrated (vanilla) books on couples and marriage.

"(1) Couples fail to make each other happy, or (2) couples make each other unhappy. In the first case, couples are frustrated because their needs are not being met. In the second case, they're... hurting each other... the first cause of conflict, failure to care and the second, failure to protect."

"... Men tend to try to meet needs that they value and women do the same. The problem is that the needs of men and women are often very different and we waste effort trying to meet the wrong needs."

"Become aware of each other's emotional needs and learn to meet them."

These important and insightful comments are true for any type of relationship, vanilla or D/s. Especially for those in the lifestyle, as nowhere can the mismatch of needs be greater than in D/s relationships. Additional levels of activity, interaction, and intensity render these relationships particularly complex and challenging. A kindred spirit to share fantasies, aspirations, intense and unforgettable moments, and love, is rare and priceless, and to lose such a precious person to carelessness or ignorance would be a real shame.

Why am I focusing on "emotional needs" per se? Because ultimately differences in needs in time spent together, vanilla activities (family, work, hobbies, financial management, etc...), fetish and kinks, BDSM scenes and play, relational dynamics, and even the amount of love felt/perceived from the other partner can all lead to emotional resentment. Many differences in a couple can be avoided or worked out, but by the time emotional resentment sets in, it can be extremely difficult, if not impossible, to recover. The communication landscape becomes littered with minefields and obstacles, and the connection between the partners gradually diminishes or can be severed all together.

Do I have definitive answers for all femdom relationships? No, of course not. My Goddess and I are discovering and forming our own. Some of the answers to the magic of our dynamics are the result of our extraordinary fit, and we understand certain factors, after the fact, as they've been part of lives for a while. Some of the other answers come to us through communication and experimentation. Yet others will come as move further into our relationship, and delve deeper into who we are as individuals and as a couple. And all the while, expressing and fulfilling who we are as individuals and as a couple.

To be continued...

Hair control (E)

2010-09-09T09:39:00.000-07:00

Artwork courtesy of Masochistic Beauty via Dischevelled Domina

I'm a short hair kind a guy. I've always liked it that way. As soon as my hair reaches the top of my ear, or that I can spot that it's long enough to not stand up on its own, it's time to swing by the barber's place.

The drawback, of course, is that this routine doesn't allow my Goddess to indulge in one of her favorite activities, hair pulling. Sadly, my sense of the functional doesn't always present her with the opportunity to reach for my hair when the mood strikes her. And we both miss that.

There's something very powerful about having my Goddess grab a hand full of my hair, and bringing me close to her, directing me in the direction she wants, or keeping me still.

She may want to look deep into my eyes, hungry to exert her dominance over me. She may want to make sure I'm totally focused on her while she tells me what she wants, what she wants to do to me, or she just teases me. She may want to have a kiss right then and there. She may want to exhale a drag of her cigarette into my mouth. She may want to direct me to pleasure her. She may want to use my hair as a lead to have me follow her. Or she may simply want to hurt me, one of those little moments of benevolent sadism.

Control... physical and mental. Dominance of her will and desires over mine. A display of her ownership of me. Such a simple action, such a powerful reaction.

Just a few days ago, I was sharing with my Goddess that I was planning on getting my hair cut as soon as I found a little time to go to the barber's. I was totally taken aback when she said no. My Goddess made it clear to me that I wasn't to cut my hair in the next two weeks. We do have some opportunities coming up for some extended play, and it looks like some serious hair-pulling is in the plans, among many other things.

I've been thinking of what is to come, and what may come, incessantly since that moment...

Stream of consciousness (E)

2010-09-05T06:20:00.000-07:00

Image courtesy of http://malesubmissionart.com/

Just so incredibly busy... far too much time away from the One that means everything to me...

Tension building up... fed by the lack of each other's physical presence... of each other's affection... of each other's wit and humor... of opportunities for our D/s dynamics...

Finally... a day spent together... and yet, we were never alone enough... places to go, things to do, people to be with...

The late night came... finally just the two of us...

She smelled so good... felt so soft... tasted so good... sounded so hot...

She needed more... more of me... to feel... to hurt... to own...

It was all too brief... but so totally stellar-intense...

Little moments of benevolent sadism (E)

2010-08-30T06:40:00.000-07:00

Artwork courtesy of http://snail.meilk.com/ via http://lunarblack.tumblr.com

Benevolent:
1. marked by or disposed to doing good; organized for the purpose of doing good
2. marked by or suggestive of goodwill
~ http://www.merriam-webster.com/

Sadism:
1. sexual perversion in which gratification is obtained by the infliction of physical or mental pain on others (as on a love object)...
2. delight in cruelty
~ http://www.merriam-webster.com/

A pull of my hair at the movie theater... while we wait for the feature movie to start...

My Goddess placing locked wrist and ankle cuffs on me... just to have me struggle walking around and serving her...

Her nails digging into the inside of my thigh... in the car, as I'm driving us back home from some shopping...

My Goddess pulling me in close for a deep, sealed kiss... and exhaling a full drag of her cigarette into my mouth... as we take a short break outside...

Her fingers reaching up to my nipples for a little NT... in public or not... just to make sure my attention is on her....

My Goddess keeping me in bondage... as we watch some of her favorite TV shows together...

A hard slap on my backside any time she walks by...

My Goddess sitting onto my lower back when I'm resting or sleeping on my belly... and reaching around with her hands for some NT, her weight keeping me in position...

CBT waking me up in the morning... her nails scratching, stretching, and marking the skin of my privates... just to start the day with a little hurt...

My Goddess grabbing one of the D-rings of my locked leather collar... pulling it to her sacred feminine parts... and without a word, expecting sexual servitude that will quench the hunger of the moment...

Symbolic objects: old ones and those to come (E)

2010-08-28T22:40:00.000-07:00

Queen of Block Chairs, Lordess of Rusty Spoons, via Lunar Black

Last December, my Goddess locked a steel chain with a nickel plated padlock around my neck, and it has only come off three times since, for a total of perhaps 2-3 hours. Special circumstances, like going through airport metal detectors, warranted the temporary removal of what we referred to as my "mainstream collar", but it never came off otherwise. The fact that she retains all the keys to the padlock means that only she has been able to remove it, and if I'm not with her, I have no way to take it off. Which one day led to an interesting adventure when I had to access a local county courthouse...
The reason that I bring this up is that, to our great sadness, the mainstream collar will soon be coming to the end of its useful life. The constant contact with my skin has caused part of the nickel plating on one side of padlock to corrode away, and the finish of the chain has become dull and increasingly difficult to keep clean.

Granted, it wasn't made of materials made for constant wear. It wasn't very expensive, and in retrospect, I think we're both surprise it has lasted almost nine months. It has certainly done it's job, providing a secure and most sturdy alternative to the beautiful but delicate collar my Goddess chose to officially collar me with earlier that year.

Cuffs of Love (shown as a bracelet; mine has a longer purple string to be used as a necklace/collar)

This very first collar of ours, monogrammed with our initials, was a gorgeous piece, but it had started to show some wear, something that bothered us both on such a beautiful piece. It also presented a problem in principle since it would be removed for showering, for working out, and for sleep. The D-rings on the locking leather that my Goddess locks on me every night made us nervous with every ping of the impeccably polished miniature handcuffs' surfaces.

The answer was the locking chain and padlock. We had no worries of how it would fare under chemical or physical attack. Impossible for me to remove, it has symbolized my Goddess' control over me. The strength of the chain and the padlock itself has smbolized her ownership of me. Its ever-presence has symbolized the strength, importance, and 24/7 nature of our D/s dynamics. It has been visual reminder to both of us of our relationship and our love for each other. It has served as fetish prop as my Goddess has more than once grabbed it to pull me close to her both during play and at any time of the day she wanted. It has also served as a display of her dominance in public as she has been in the habit of playing with the chain during munches, leaving the padlock exposed for all to see as it was left resting outside my shirt.

Related to this last point, one of the benefits of the steel chain and padlock as a permanent collar was that, for the most part, it was discrete enough to wear in public without getting any attention, with the padlock under a T-shirt, and the chain normally well covered by a shirt.

I must also mention that both my Goddess and I have been incredibly turned on hearing the metal of mainstream collar clang against the D-rings of the leather collar I wear when at home, during play activities, sexual servitude, or lovemaking.

So here we arrive at a point when, over the course of the next few days or weeks, the chain and padlock will be retired in favor of an alternative of my Goddess' choice. The options are many. Perhaps another chain, or ring, with a padlock. Or without padlock. Perhaps something simple with a quasi-permanent locking feature. Perhaps an eternity collar.

Be that as it may, it marks an exciting moment for both us. We're moving on to our third mainstream collar... that's a special kind of tangible time-frame. Forever this steel collar and chain and padlock will be associated with memories and sentiments and experiences and emotions and togetherness, and so will the new item in the future.

Will my Goddess decide to up the ante and go with something more subtly severe? Something simply different? Or something different altogether. It's exciting to think of what may come... of the new object that will be associated with a new set of Proustian remembrances. And the reinforcement of the symbolism that it too will hold. Definitively a story to be continued...

God Only Knows What I'd Be Without You (S)

2010-08-21T19:54:00.000-07:00

image courtesy of malesubmissionart.com

Living conditions for dymion and I are still not ideal We simply dont have much private time to express ourselves in the ways we like to. It makes me a little sad that play must remain light. However, today he mentioned he has some business in another town in the coming weeks and maybe we could go to a hotel and spend the night making a weekend out of it.

I was SO EXCITED. Like a school girl who found the hottest date for the prom...that was how my heart raced. My mind began exploring predicaments, toys to take, how much time we had to fit in a wide array of activities. This moment showed me something fabulous about the current state of less privacy in our lives...that it, the mighty build up.

I now have a couple weeks to plan, dream, tease, and just plan look forward to the minute the hotel room door opens. It is at that moment I have my pet completely at my disposal for whatever I happen to be in the mood for. It is a private, tantalizing, exciting adventure we will always remember.

These situtations really take you back to the first kiss...first spank...or the first feel of a crop or rope in your hand. That night we will be back to the basics that helped us fall in love. So, maybe a little deprivation every once in a while should not be looked upon as if a couple isnt excited about the lifestyle anymore, but rather slow times allow build up of energy, passion, and creativity. When we finally get to that hotel room on that night we will once again be reminded of why we love each other and what happens from there will be mind-blowing...guaranteed.

Needing more time (E)

2010-08-13T16:32:00.000-07:00

Artwork courtesy of Kokuryuugan via Lunar Black

Just yesterday morning, my Goddess was having her daily fix of hurting me when she said "I need some long play time."

The prelude to the comment was just the usual bit of NT & CBT on the run, with my Goddess trying to get some of her favorite facial expressions and sounds out of me. We had far too little time to take things further, pressed by the pressure of getting ready for an early workday. But her tantalizing comment, full of hunger, left me excited, and with a growing hunger myself for the next time we can lose ourselves into each other for as long as we want.

And then I was reminded of a wonderful passage from Mistress Wynter's blog, where she writes:

"I love to watch a sub react to the things I do or say; I deeply enjoy being the treasure trove of your kink, expanding our repertoire of play, causing more pain, ferreting out more secrets and using those secrets against you, the sharing of dark pleasures, the dance between top and bottom, the give and take and give and take until both parties realize that time has both stopped and raced by and that all other issues in the world are, for the time being, of absolutely no importance. All that matters is what we are doing, cause and effect, need and absolution. It is a gift to be shared completely, to be taken from your partner and given back in kind. There really isn't anything else quite like it.

I also enjoy the process of learning my sub, finding those buttons, pushing them lightly or pressing on them like crazy until I learn all I can about the person under my control. Smiling as you react, grinning at your discomfort, laughing at your pain. It is a shared process and that is why I love it so much."

What an intoxincatingly beautiful passage!

Granted, she wrote it in the larger context of a blog entry by a professional dominatrix lamenting clients coming in to see her for scripted scenes. Scripted scenes, in any context, simply miss the point. It's like reading the last chapter of the book first, and missing the progression and denouement of the adventure. It's like watching a sporting event on DVR the day after and knowing how the game turns out. It replaces the magic of the connection by a by-the-numbers set of gestures. It would indeed be a terrible loss of opportunity for both her and the client, especially since she's a pro-domme with an outstanding reputation.

But my point is that whether a lifestyle context or a professional one, this passage goes to the core of the dynamic exchange between the domme and her sub. It captures in words some of the mood, energy, and D/s tension that I feel from, and with, my Goddess in our interactions.

And Mistress Wynter's passage came to life vividly as my Goddess was leaning over me, torturing reactions she loves so much out of me, enjoying the fleeting moment we had, and longing to freeze that moment in time for us to do our intimate dance without another care in the world.

It started with a card game... (E)

2010-08-02T22:48:00.000-07:00

Artwork courtesy of http://punkbunny223.deviantart.com/, via http://thoushalllovethymistress.tumblr.com/

Sometimes there are hours that my Goddess and I share together that are so intense that despite my best efforts, I can't remember all of what went on. There was just too much happening and the subspace was just too deep. Of course, that's not such a bad thing. In fact it's the result of really good things. I guess I can't remember all the details because some parts were so awesome that I can't remember the less intense ones, or the transitional sections. This post is about such hours spent together...

I do remember that... it all started with a card game. Running an errand a little earlier in the evening, I came back from the store with a card game based on one of our favorite board games. My Goddess loves games... in part because of the challenge and competition, and in part because it means that I spend the game in bondage. Locked collar, locked and clipped wrist cuffs, locked and clipped ankle cuffs, my Goddess gets no end of joy having us play games while I'm tied up, and struggling with the simplest movements. She also always enjoys asking me for little things during that time, like getting her drinks or lighting her cigarettes, just to see me struggle for her. The tangible sense of control and ownership is unbelievably hot for both of us.

I do remember that... a bit after the game, my Goddess had me lie down on the bed and rolled me onto my front. She sat on my lower back, reached under my chest with her hands, and tortured my nipples with her long, sharp nails. When she does that, I do try get my upper body up on my elbows because I know she wants to have unrestricted access to the nipples. One of our favorite positions, my Goddess loves feeling my reactions as I lie vulnerable and pinned down under her, helpless to stop her. She can also do some very intense NT from this position, and play with me as long and as hard as she wants. The body-on-body contact, my gentle squirming between her legs, my moans proportional to the pain she inflicts, they are all enough to bring her to climax. There's nothing quite as hot as suffering for the sexual satisfaction of my Goddess.

I do remember that... my Goddess added the blindfold at some point, and decided she was in the mood for some caning. With the heavy violet plastic cane. She mercifully started the first dozen strokes gradually. But she rapidly got enamored of the streaks she left on my backside, and instead of calling an end to the caning when she took me to the edge of what I could take, she eased off the intensity a bit, and built up the crescendo again. Between the peaks in intensity , I felt her hands against the skin of my backside, cooling, soothing, recomforting. Then more strokes... sharp, heavy, intense. She commented on the color and the pattern. And on how they would look the day after. As much as having me in bondage was an expression of her control over me, this kind of caning is a demonstration of her power and dominance over me.

I do remember that... my Goddess was in the mood for some smoke and breath play. The symbolism and the sensuality of her control of my breathing, of her giving me her breath, or taking mine away, always fosters a sense of surrender that is particularly deep. Doing some of it while she was smoking made it all the more tangible and intense.

I do remember that... the breathplay wasn't all that my Goddess was in the mood for while she was smoking. She returned to NT for a little heat play. Teasing my nipples with varying level of heat from the tip of her burning cigarette. I could see none of it, but I felt the passes, slow and fast, close and closer. The surrender deepened as she teased me with the potentially extreme pain of burning. Of course, she had no need for the latter. The threat of it, and a few very close passes where I felt the intense heat without any contact, created all the reactions she needed for her excitement and satisfaction. Hot in so many ways...

I do remember that... my Goddess loves to gaze into my eyes when I am deep in subspace. When she is done sadistically playing with her toy, it is always a special moment when she places me in a comfortable position and slowly removes my blindfold. As my mind and my eyes begin to focus on the reality of the then and there, it's just magical to have the first thing they focus on be her beautiful and dominantly smiling face. There's such intimacy in that gaze, such a sense of belonging and ownership...

I do remember that... my Goddess didn't leave me much time for post-play recovery... She had other needs that required my attention. And as quickly as I could gather my thoughts and wits about me, the next thing I focused on was the sexual service my Goddess needed. In every way she required it...

I do remember that... I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and that I had to take very small steps because I still had all the cuffs on me, and I wanted neither to trip and fall, or make noise that could wake up my Goddess. I evenutally returned to the bed, and spent the rest of the night in bondage close to her...

Exploration - thoughts and quotes (E)

2010-07-28T20:10:00.000-07:00

Artwork courtesy of http://missblackmamba.tumblr.com/

"We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." ~ T.S. Elliot

“Exploration is really the essence of the human spirit.” ~ Frank Borman

“Creative people who can't help but explore other mental territories are at greater risk, just as someone who climbs a mountain is more at risk than someone who just walks along a village lane.” ~ R.D. Laing

“I prefer to explore the most intimate moments, the smaller, crystallized details we all hinge our lives on.” ~ Rita Dove

The most rewarding exploration is the universe inside of us... share the journey with the one you love... don't be afraid to talk, to share, to celebrate, to love... never take the magic for granted... never stop feeding the love...

A whole new level (E)

2010-07-27T19:44:00.000-07:00

Artwork courtesy of http://snail.meilk.com via Lunar Black

The last post by Goddess Selena received a number of comments, public and private, that were absolutely fascinating. And they were all the more engaging since we had been thinking about doing short videos for quite a while. Now before you all start holding your breath for the first one to appear, it's important to understand that especially after the feedback we received, we would want to do this right.

Among the comments left on our blog, Queen and Slave indicated that the idea of short videos that would allow the flow of images, words, and viewer/reader imagination would be attractive to them.

"Kathryn" felt strongly enough about it to come out of lurking to support the idea of seeing the "magic" that Selena and I share on "a whole new level". She continues:

"Seeing your dynamic like that would simply be amazing. It'd also be really useful, because my boyfriend and I are just starting exploring all this, and out of all the blogs we've read, yours is the one that resonates with our dynamic the most. So it would be great to see from a comparison/idea-sharing and provoking point of view too."

"Steve" said:

"From reading your blogs I would think your videos would be done tastefully, classy and give us a further glimpse into a real world aspect of this dynamic. I know there are many who have struggled, myself being one, with introducing their partners to all of this. "

Her Majesty's Plaything followed up in a similar direction, writing:

"I think it would be wonderful for you and Dymion to share your interaction on video with us! I for one would welcome it. I feel I have gotten to know both of you through mutual sharing in the blogosphere and watching you together on video would definitely kick it up a notch!"

These thoughts, and the wonderful comments that were left about our blog put in relief our ideals about such an experience, but also reiterated some of my worries about adding short videos. Sharing the view we have from our D/s journey could be a positive experience for many people. And I'm not talking about those just looking for more wanking material! But there are worries. Could we really capture the magic in a visual format? While both of us are pretty creative, neither one of us are experienced videographers. Would the clips turn out to be too boring and disappointing for some? Or too explicit and perhaps too BDSM-porn for others? Clearly, our writing has set expections very high. Our challenge would be to blend/integrate just being ourselves, since that's the key ingredient of our "magic", with something that would be a bit more structured in a way that would be allow for the possibility of learning, inspiring fantasy and reality, and perhaps some level of contrasting approach/technique/mood.

The written word is an extraordinary medium. This is why even the best movie is at a disadvantage relative to the book on which it is based. The further challenge of capturing in images something that is so based on energy, on mood, on attitude, is rather intimidating. And ensuring a certain level of anonymity in a manner that won't take away from the video but would still minimize the risk of real-life exposure is just as daunting. Although we do have some ideas...

So this has firmed our resolve to move ahead with this project, but it's likely going to take us a little time to come up with imagery that is true to who we are, and that hopefully captures at least a bit of who are are and what we do. I doubt it'll look very professional, but perhaps what we lack in finish we'll make up in a style that is uniquely us. More private play party than porn video, more energy and dynamics than toy and technique demonstration, more D/s than exhibitionism.

Who knows... this may be for us also a whole new level in the expression of our sexuality and sensuality. If we can avoid being too self-conscious of the medium, this could be a new way, or the next way, in which we can celebrate our love for each other, our distinctive sexual orientations, our extraordinary fit of opposites, and a lifestyle that is sensually beautiful, intensely intimate, powerfully intoxicating, and wonderfully rewarding,

And we'll count on you, our dedicated and oh-so-flattering readers, to let us know how we're doing on the filmmaking.

P.S.: Many thanks to Queen & Slave, to Kathryn, to Steve, to HMP, and to others who communicated with us. Your feedback, your compliments, and your insights and hopes all foster a sense of community, and provide us with a driving sense of mission to continue to share this part of our lives.

Random funny stories lead to fantasies (S)

2010-07-19T19:26:00.000-07:00

I have a new job in a rural, town with several new, rural, coworkers. They know nothing of the activities dymion and I took part in while living in a large metropolis across the country. To them, I seem like a normal young lady adjusting to country life out of the big city. Well, you can take the girl out of the leather and latex, but you just can't take the leather and latex out of the girl.

A Story -- Two days ago, my boss was looking around the wharehouse and said to me..."do you know where we could get any rubber curtains?" I thought for a moment and said, "yes." My other coworker who seems to sense dymion and I may not be all as we seem just started laughing. Of course, they were seeking the curtains that protect a walk-freezer or lab type atmosphere, but for the rest of the day I was envisioning my dream dungeon...Yes, the mind wandered...

Once tied to the chair by his arms and ankles so he coulnd't get away, dymion would be rolled through the black rubber curtains. To his amazement he would find himself surrounded by toys, furniture, soft rugs on the floor, candles, and an arsenal of crops, whips, canes, and so much more. One short look around would end quickly with a blindfold and then the fun would begin. After being release from the chair temporarily, I would ask him to strip his clothes completely off and stand in the middle of the room to wait for me. He would hear me circle him occasionally making noices with my flogger or bullwhip. I would smoke and occasional blow the smoke in his eyes and mouth so he could inhale my essence and long for me. I would kiss his forhead and then command him to his knees on the bearskin road. This, of course, is when the camera starts recording. I am not sure what I am going to do, but I certainly want to be able to relive it over and over and over again.

Which brings me to a question... if dymion and I began recording some of our scenes... would you, our readers, like to watch? We wouldn't show our faces, but we could share our actions, our reactions, and the loving care that we give to one another. Possibly ideas for young couples who may learn you can love one another even in these unique circumstances. Probably would not be too dirty, but it would be real and certainly hot.

Does that interest anyone? Why? What would you hope to find? Kind of curious... dymion and I often talk about it... about sharing our life at another level entirely, even if there would still be an element of anonymity. We would love to hear from you.

Of candles and clothespins (E)

2010-07-16T09:50:00.000-07:00

Image courtesy of Thumper's Portfolio, found through http://dishevelleddomina.tumblr.com/

Locked leather collar on... wrists locked and clipped in leather cuffs... same for the ankles... blindfold on... lying on my back on the bed... my Goddess leaves me for a few moments to rummage through our toys.

The rapid descent into subspace began the second my Goddess asked for the bondage gear. Each new piece she put on me, locked, and clipped brought me down another flight of stairs into the depths of subspace. And then there's the wait. The delicious anxiety and excitement of the wait. What is she in the mood for? What is she looking for? What will she come back with? What plans does she have for her pet?

My Goddess returned to my side, sat on my mid-section facing toward my legs, and began some CBT. Those nails... god I love those nails... scratching, digging, and cutting into me. I can't avoid reacting. I am slammed by the dominant vibe coming from my Goddess having fun hurting me.

She stops for an instant. And then I feel her fingers pinching a fold of skin. As she lets go, I start feeling the pressure of what can only be a clothespin. It's not all that unpleasant at the beginning, but rapidly the sensation becomes increasingly sharp. I soon forget about the first clothespin as the second is applied in the same manner. And a third. And more. I lose count...

Around the testicules, along my shaft, my Goddess has fun finding sensitive areas that induces a reaction she would enjoy. The clothespins may be creating a pretty pattern, or not, I have no idea. But I could feel her enjoyment to my vulnerablity and my reactions and the sounds I made, even without a word.being spoken on either side.

After a little while of my Goddess combining CBT and clothespin art, suddenly, she stops. No more nails, no more clothespins, no more tugging on the clothespins. Silence. Numbness. Sharpness. And then, she begins to remove the clothespins. One-by-one. And each one coming off creates a searing sensations that, despite the bondage, has my hips come off the bed. She loves it. The air is permeated with the fragrance of her dominance. Her inner sadist was out and having a great time.

After the last clothespin comes off, my Goddess gets off my mid-section, and I hear her flick a lighter. Maybe 10-15 seconds later, I fell her lean over me. No smoking happening. By the time I made the realization that she wasn't smoking, I fell the first drop of wax crash against my chest.

She had been dying to do some wax play for weeks, and the opportunity and time had not come up. Now was an opportune time. My Goddess moves the candle around, dropping wax in an area that ranged from the upper chest and shoulders down to the bottom of the rib cage. Of course, the highlight moments were the hits on, or close to, the nipples. I get shudders now just recalling the intense sensation of a direct hit on one of the nipples. And it seemed to me that the wax from that candle melted especially hot.

The impact of the heat almost makes it feel like the wax continues to sink below the skin before it cools off and solidifies. It is a sharp, deep sensation that reverberates through my body as it becomes duller in its epicenter. As with the clothepins, my mind doesn't move off the searing pain because the latter dissipates, but because there's another drop that hits a few seconds later. And another one.

Wax play is always very special in its own way. Under the skillful hands and devious mind of my Goddess, it's an activity that inevitably brings me into what I've called before the Nexus, a terribly wonderful point at which I don't know if I can take any more, but I so don't want it to stop. And she is just so adept at taking me there. She loves taking me there. I say that because I can feel how much fun she has taking me there.

Shortly after blowing out the candle, my Goddess removes my blindfold, unclips the cuffs and removes some of the larger chunks of wax that had formed. But that minute or so was enough downtime. During all this play, my Goddess had worked herself into a frenzy of sexual excitement. And she needs me to quench her hunger. So as quickly as I gather my wits about me, coming out of the fog of subspace, I switch from being a passive play toy to an active role of sexual servitude. And so the night went on...

Over the course of the next few days, I kept finding more wax on my body, despite my best efforts to catch all of it before getting into the shower the morning after. Wax play is always messy. No matter how careful you try to be, you always keep finding little bits of wax on yourself for a few days, and around your play area for a few weeks. But each time I find another little piece of wax somewhere, I can't help but to smile, and recall the sensations and the imagery of those extraordinarily intense, but fleeting, moments spent in the dominant loving care of my Goddess.

Image courtesy of femdomtime.com, found again through http://dishevelleddomina.tumblr.com

The freedom not to be free (E)

2010-07-09T09:25:00.000-07:00

"I'll keep you", from http://mangademon333.deviantart.com

"... I don't know how these guys do it, and how these women let them do it. I know where he [Endymion] is all the time, and what he's doing."

I overheard this comment from my Goddess to someone very close to us as they caught part of a television show that dealt with cheating.

I thought that was hot. I loved hearing her say that. It was a powerful reminder of our bond of love, our enjoyment of each other's company, our D/s relationship, and of our lifestyle.

I don't have the least interest in being away from my Goddess for any reason. Every moment is happier, more intense, funnier, richer, more enjoyable, and more interesting for sharing it with her. I certainly have no interest in straying... why would I risk what I'd be hoping for all my life? I am deeply in love with her, and uncurably addicted to her. Any time spent doing something without her, never mind time with another woman, would be time away from my Goddess, and that's simply not a good trade-off. It would be a waste of opportunity. The opportunity to spend more time with her.

In addition, between my mainstream collar, which cannot be removed and has clear symbolism once made visible, and the locked ankle cuffs that I am often asked to wear under long pants, there are physical and visual barriers that would take the air out of any attempted adventurous interlude.

I love being hers. I love even more that she loves that I am hers. The control she has over where I am and what I'm doing at anytime is an implicit part of our D/s dynamics, and reinforces them. It isn't done in distrust, but it makes trust implicit and almost 100% verifiable for her, and I see it has a sign of how much she cares. The loss of freedom is insignificant and forgotten in contrast to the gain of sharing and happiness.

Where some might see loss, limits, and constraints, I see the reaching of a dream, two people that can't be away from each other, and an intense flow of feelings of owning and belonging. Now that I am where I've wanted to be all my life, why would I be upset at not having the luxury of leaving it?

The prospect to exploring further and deeper with my Goddess, hand-in-hand on our common journey, is immensely more appealing me than any scenario that would not include her. And that's why not only do I not mind the situation, I think it's really hot.

Desperate for a caning (E)

2010-07-06T07:00:00.000-07:00

"Dark Princess" by kassiusgladius, found on Lunar Black

Her... not me. She wanted to play with the cane. No, she was desperate to give me a caning...

I love it when my Goddess is in the mood for the cane. I can't say I ever look forward to a caning per se. It hurts. Sometimes, it really hurts.

Of course, it's unbelievably hot and sexy, in a D/s, BDSM kind of way. But what I really look forward to is to submit to a caning from my Goddess. Once the cuffs have been locked and clipped, or I've been otherwise bound, and she has ordered me into position, I love how her dominance grows as my submissiveness deepens... I love the exchange of energy as I gradually surrender more and more, and she gets increasingly empowered... I love the flow of that uniquely D/s force that surrounds us and overtakes us as the veil of subspace moves over me and as she gets sexually and emotionally excited and turned on by hurting me. Hard or soft... fast or slow... long or short... simply because she's in the mood for it... simply because we wants it... simply because she feels like expressing her power and dominance...

Last week, we had one of those moments. The final click of the locks and clips (the usual collar, wrist cuffs, and ankle cuffs) had barely finished resonating that I was ordered onto the bed on all-fours. A blindfold was added. And in a matter of seconds, the first taps of the hard-plastic violet cane came down on my backside.

The taps didn't last long. We couldn't have gone much beyond double-digits hits before they became bonafide strokes. My Goddess played with me, varying the intensity, throwing some hard stokes in with the gentler ones, and some gentle strokes amidst the hard ones. She could tell when I was bearing down for a crescendo, and surprised me by holding back on some strokes. And then when I was relaxing and getting into a groove, she would come down with a stroke whose swoosh I heard, but only too late, as the velocity of the cane had done its damage. The mindfuckery contributed as much to the experience as did the pain.

My mind started slipping away... drifting... the tether of reality pulling back on it when I received strokes I can only describe as searing . Those strokes came down hard, sharp, lasting, deep. They caused reactions I could no longer control... legs partially straightening as the shock of the impact ran through my body... some forceful exhales... a light sweat breaking on my forehead and over my back. ..

The unpredictable pacing and intensity continued. Somewhere between hits, my Goddess was enjoying the brush strokes on the canvas. Seriously... seriously, is there anything BDSM-hotter than your loving dominant partner cooing at the marks they've inflicted, and how beautiful they'll be the next day? Than feeling the joy and excitement in her voice when she tells you playfully how much she's enjoying the colors and patterns she's painting on your body?

As my own reactions became quite a bit more, well, vocal and physical, my Goddess decided that she was done. She quickly climbed onto the bed, pushed me on my side, caressed me gently for a few moments, and removed the blindfold. But now, she was so excited that she just tossed the cane to the side, grabbed my hair with one hand and the D-ring of my collar with the other, reclined onto her back, and pulled my head into her sacred feminine area.

While she was done with the caning, clearly she was not done yet with me. She had other needs that had come up, and that I was required to meet...

Little noisy steps (E)

2010-06-30T18:00:00.000-07:00

Artwork courtesy of http://missblackmamba.tumblr.com

It's already almost 9:00 pm. We spent a good part of the day on the road. We get to the hotel room exhausted and hungry. My Goddess is in the mood for pizza, so we order in. By the time it arrives, and we eat, it's well past 10 o'clock, and we have to get up extra early in the morning to get a good start on the day.

It's a bit of a downer for my Goddess. She'd been looking forward to this for weeks. There's always something special about sex, or BDSM, in a different place. But she's just too tired, and her mind is already focused on the next day. I'm tired too, but I could play. I can always play. Or not. It's not my decision, and frankly, the role of the submissive in BDSM play is never as demanding as actively and intensely topping. If we do play, great, if not, then I know my Goddess will be ravenous for it the next evening.

I bring her my locking leather collar for our nightly ritual. She also wants the wrist cuffs and the ankle cuffs. In that order, she places each of them on me and locks them. Then she reaches for some clips, and clips my wrist cuffs together, and then my ankle cuffs. My Goddess tells me that the ankle cuffs will remain clipped over night. And then she sends me to get her a glass of water at the other end of the room. The sight and sound of my little noisy steps bring to her face the biggest smile. She loves seeing me in bondage struggling to do her bidding. At first she gets a predatory look in her eyes, and then she relaxes... things are as they should be.

I come back with her water, holding the glass in both cuffed hands, hobbling along as the clip strains against the D-rings of the ankle cuffs. Steps are limited to less than 6 inches, the length of the 4.5" clip, and whatever the room the D-rings allow. She slowly looks me up and down, enjoying that her pet is locked away, knowing that I cannot escape her, that she is in total control.

There's something intoxicating about feeling her dominance like that. In such a simple but powerful way. There's something to goes right to the core of domination and submission in being caught in a delicately vulnerable and inescapable predicament, in the control of the one I love and surrender to, to her great enjoyment and satisfaction. Over the years, I've had the privilege of some extraordinary experiences in D/s and BDSM... some of them very intense, and some would say a bit extreme. And yet, I would turn my back on all of it in exchange for the elegant simplicity of feeling trapped, captured, controlled at the hand of my beautiful, dominant, and loving Goddess, and feeling her empowerment of being able to do with me what she wants.

Before going to bed, she unclips my wrist cuffs... she wants us to sleep especially closely that night. Good to her word, she leaves the ankle cuffs clipped. And when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, the little noisy steps wake her gently, for just a few seconds, as she pops her head off the pillow just long enough to enjoy my predicament again. As I lay down in bed, she turns toward me, grabs the central D-ring of my collar, and falls asleep again in that position.

The morning brought more of the same, as the coffee maker was at the other end of the room, and I went back and forth a number of times to service her, but just as important, for her enjoyment.

Reminders of so many things (E)

2010-06-29T16:29:00.000-07:00

Artwork courtesy of http://lunarblack.tumblr.com/

Markings had been on her mind for a while. And absent of our play for several weeks. I know that if it would be up to my Goddess, they would be a weekly ritual. At least.

After the ritual collaring for that evening, and the placing and locking of the leather wrist cuffs and ankle cuffs, my Goddess ordered me to lay down on the bed, on my back. Quickly, the wrist cuffs were clipped together, and then the ankle cuffs. The nightly collaring always deepens my sense of submission to my Goddess, and the extra bondage gear only amplifies that feeling. I also love it when I can feel her excitement and anticipation at locking me away, rendering me helpless.

Belong to her... vulnerable... pet... excited... owned... in her control... play toy... I can feel her hunger... all hers... what's next... doesn't matter... anything she wants... do what you want, my Goddess...

Just a few thoughts running through my mind between the time she orders me to lie down, and she has me bound to her liking. She goes into the closet to retrieve a blindfold. She wants to maintain, perhaps extend, the suspense. Once the blindfold on, my Goddess reconsiders my predicament for an instant, and unclips the wrist cuffs. She reattaches each wrist cuff to a side D-ring on my locking leather collar. Movement is further restrained.

My Goddess sits on my hips, and begins to torment and torture my nipples. A familiar position, but also one of our favorites. The more she hurts me, the more I helplessly squirm under her. An occasional moan escapes. All of it excites her, empowers her, makes her hungrier for more. It doesn't take long before the dominoes fall: she increases the intensity of the pain to the point where my reactions excite her so much that she reaches climax. I know... it never ceases to amaze me that simply between her enjoyment of hurting me, her excitement, feeling me squirm, and hearing the deep moans that unintentionally escape me, she can reach orgasm. It's so fucking hot.

But the real purpose of this evening has yet to be revealed: the markings. My Goddess has been feeling particularly possessive these last few days. Time for some physical evidence. She reaches into one of our bedroom drawers for a rather elaborate set of temporary tattoos. No Sharpies tonight. She goes into the bathroom to get a a cup of water. She returns to sit on my hips again, and goes to work. Only once she started cleaning my skin did I piece together this new development. Until then, I had been too lost in deepening subspace.

Between some tweaking of my nipples and some CBT, she places one temporary tattoo on my right chest, and one on my left chest. She releases the clips binding my wrist cuffs to my collar, clips the wrist cuffs together once more, and has me turn on my front. And places a third temporary tattoo on the left side of my upper back.

The meticulous care she takes in placing them is a reflection of the attention and care she gives me in everything . The symbolism of the markings goes far beyond the simple gestures and play of putting them on. Both my Goddess and I will be seeing them for days to come, and reminded of this little scene. Reminded of the significance of the markings. Reminded of the nature of our relationship. Reminded of our love for each other.

The tattoos have been applied, and have dried. She removes the blindfold, and the first thing my sight falls upon is her beaming smile. A dominant and possessive smile of satisfaction. She takes hold of the central D-ring of my collar, pulls me in close to her face, and tells me emphatically "Mine!"

She pulls me in for a hug. I loop my bound hands around her as we are both sitting on the bed. She unclips my wrist cuffs and lays back. She pulls me over her. She must have me inside her. We make passionate and painful love. She won't have it any other way. Her nails are all over my arms, my back, my nipples. Her hand goes around my throat. She squeezes for a few moments. She returns to the nipples. We continue the exchange of energy and sensations... dominance and submission... pleasure and pain... ownership and belonging... until climax is unavoidable.

And for days after, we are reminded...

Making up for lost time (E)

2010-06-28T21:33:00.000-07:00

Artwork courtesy of http://www.sankakucomplex.com/

Real-life has been incredibly busy, and has left me little time to write. But my Goddess and I have beeen afforded an unusual amount of time and privacy to catch up on more formal play in the past week, something we had been looking forward to for quite a while. My Goddess had been dying for some really intense extended play. I'll share some of the details of those moments over the course of the next few days.

In the meantime, all you get are a few highlights:

my Goddess marking me for her personal pleasure and ownership;
lots of bondage;a caning session that made my knees give out from an all-fours position;
did I mention lots of bondage?
some wax play;
sexual servitude almost every evening;
several nights sleeping in bondage;
CBT & clothespins;
a few evenings painful lovemaking (well, both painful and pleasurable for me, all pleasure for my Goddess);
lots of NT;
the usual domestic servitude;
and some spectacular sex during a violent thunderstorm, where the flashes of the lighting strikes lit up the room and my Goddess' facial expressions while she was enjoying both hurting me and our lovemaking.

It had been a while since we were so intensely active for so many days in a row, beyond our daily D/s dynamics, and it was mind-blowingly spectacular. More to come. I was too busy with that too to write much. Priorities, you know...

A different kind of moan (E)

2010-06-21T18:50:00.000-07:00

Artwork courtesy of http://ruero.com/ via http://thoushalllovethymistress.tumblr.com/

It started like most other evenings...

My Goddess came into the bedroom from a refreshing shower. I was waiting for her on my knees, next to the bed, with the locking leather collar before me, and the lock and key on the side of the bed. Our nightly ritual...

She sat on the edge of the bed, smelling fragrant and looking beautiful. I bent forward and put my head on her lap. She placed the collar around my neck, made sure the buckle was in the right position, gently hooked the small lock through the locking buckle, and the magical click marked yet another night of me wearing the definitive sign of her ownership.

She lifted my head to give me a kiss, and tell me once more how special our daily collaring ritual was for her.

And then she was in the mood for something more...

While I was still on my knees, my Goddess reached down to my nipples for some teasing and torture. I closed my eyes. She quickly increased the intensity. Involuntary sounds came from deep within me. Letting go with one hand, she grabbed the main D-ring of my collar and pulled me in for a kiss. We locked lips, not so tenderly, and she reached into my mouth with her tongue. We kept on kissing as she returned her hand so that she could torment both nipples once more.

Still locked in our kiss, she squeezed my nipples sharply with her nails. I moaned loudly, our kiss uninterrupted. I opened my eyes slightly at the surprise of the sound of my moan resonating inside her mouth. I felt a tremor go through her body. I could feel her becoming more empowered from caqpturing the sounds I was making inside her. I could feel her dominance rise. She hurt me even more, and would not let me breakaway from the kiss. She wanted to feel it again. And again. It was like she was feeding on this slightly different sensation, but she was feeding out of control.

She finally let go of my nipples, grabbed the central D-ring of my collar again with one hand, and pulled on my hair with the other. I had no choice but to follow her as she laid back on the bed, and forced my head into her sacred feminine area. The eroticism and dominance of her own actions totally overwhelmed her, and I spent an undetermined amount of time, that I could not even take a guess at, sexual servicing my Goddess, who had become completely insatiable.